Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,718 --> 00:00:03,418
Alright!
2
00:00:03,419 --> 00:00:06,018
Now that the popsicle is melted,
we've got ourselves a tongue depressor
3
00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:07,418
I want you to look at these
cold sores...
4
00:00:07,419 --> 00:00:08,818
I get them when I'm stressed-out
5
00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:11,818
Nothing to be ashamed of...
I get them from prostitutes.
6
00:00:11,918 --> 00:00:13,618
It's been a hard couple of months,
7
00:00:13,718 --> 00:00:15,418
Work has been crazy,
8
00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:16,786
and I went through
a bad breakup.
9
00:00:16,838 --> 00:00:17,988
And then there was
this plastic bag
10
00:00:18,055 --> 00:00:19,189
that represented my death...
11
00:00:19,257 --> 00:00:20,824
sounds like you could use
a little R&R...
12
00:00:20,892 --> 00:00:22,142
Rum and ritalin.
13
00:00:22,226 --> 00:00:23,777
Actually, I was hoping
you'd just have an ointment
14
00:00:23,845 --> 00:00:25,395
- for my mouth.
- Gross.
15
00:00:25,462 --> 00:00:26,480
'Cause I'm dealing
with the stress thing.
16
00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:27,531
Over the break-up,
17
00:00:27,598 --> 00:00:28,815
I'm renting a cottage
out in the Hamptons.
18
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:31,134
There's just four things
I want to do this summer...
19
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:33,003
be outdoors,
wear shapeless clothing,
20
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:35,105
do some mindless activity
like gardening,
21
00:00:35,173 --> 00:00:36,406
and learn Spanish.
22
00:00:36,457 --> 00:00:38,041
There are four things
I want to do this summer.
23
00:00:38,108 --> 00:00:40,276
But they're roommates,
so it's tricky.
24
00:00:40,328 --> 00:00:42,779
All right,
here is a prescription
25
00:00:42,847 --> 00:00:44,280
for your cold sores,
26
00:00:44,332 --> 00:00:46,466
and here's a blank one
for the weekend.
27
00:00:46,551 --> 00:00:47,751
Now, one final thing.
28
00:00:47,818 --> 00:00:49,319
Why aren't you wearing pants?
29
00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:50,987
The other doctor told me
to take them off.
30
00:00:51,055 --> 00:00:52,255
Other doctor?
31
00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:54,524
That's my brother Randy.
32
00:00:54,592 --> 00:00:57,010
Tomorrow he's going to jail
for the rest of his life.
33
00:00:57,094 --> 00:00:58,628
Good one, Randy!
34
00:00:58,679 --> 00:01:02,182
Hey, you want to go
to taco bell for lunch?
35
00:01:02,266 --> 00:01:12,202
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:22,503 --> 00:01:23,787
- Hey...
- Stop right there.
37
00:01:23,871 --> 00:01:25,622
I know that people
are feeling sorry for me
38
00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:28,041
because my wife was kidnapped
by Kim Jong-Il.
39
00:01:28,108 --> 00:01:30,276
- I know...
- But I do not need your pity.
40
00:01:30,344 --> 00:01:33,379
And I am tired of hearing
that tone of voice.
41
00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:34,981
- Aw...
- Hey...
42
00:01:35,049 --> 00:01:36,616
Hey, buddy...
43
00:01:36,684 --> 00:01:38,618
Hey, I know what
you're going through.
44
00:01:38,686 --> 00:01:40,854
I once kidnapped a woman.
45
00:01:40,921 --> 00:01:42,388
I know...
46
00:01:42,439 --> 00:01:44,424
- Stop talking like that, Lemon.
- I'm trying to,
47
00:01:44,492 --> 00:01:46,392
but I'm kind of locked in,
sweetie.
48
00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:48,862
The voice is
controlling me now.
49
00:01:48,929 --> 00:01:50,029
Help me?
50
00:01:50,097 --> 00:01:52,365
Look, obviously
this has been difficult.
51
00:01:52,433 --> 00:01:54,133
I'm not sleeping.
52
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,601
Last night I sat
in front of the TV
53
00:01:55,653 --> 00:01:58,671
and ate an entire carton
of foie gras.
54
00:01:58,739 --> 00:02:02,242
I can hardly drink
my morning shower scotch.
55
00:02:02,309 --> 00:02:03,610
I miss Avery.
56
00:02:03,677 --> 00:02:05,411
It's the little things
I miss most.
57
00:02:05,462 --> 00:02:06,963
On a day like this,
58
00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:09,015
we would go to Strawberry Fields
in Central Park
59
00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:12,452
and kick hippies' hacky sacks
into the bushes.
60
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:16,189
Look, you need to reset
and try to feel normal again.
61
00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:18,491
Normal? I don't know
what normal is anymore.
62
00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:20,560
"Normal" is a woman and a woman
63
00:02:20,627 --> 00:02:22,478
getting married
and having a child.
64
00:02:22,563 --> 00:02:23,630
- What?
- Is me being a bummer
65
00:02:23,697 --> 00:02:24,814
helping you
feel like your old self?
66
00:02:24,899 --> 00:02:26,516
- Keep going.
- Bush is a war criminal!
67
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,434
There's so much texting
going on these days
68
00:02:28,485 --> 00:02:29,936
and no communicating.
69
00:02:30,004 --> 00:02:31,020
Carbon tax!
70
00:02:31,105 --> 00:02:32,238
Please leave!
71
00:02:32,306 --> 00:02:33,973
That's the spirit.
72
00:02:36,527 --> 00:02:37,827
Well, I'm off.
73
00:02:37,912 --> 00:02:40,029
- Have a good summer, Jenna.
- Oh, I will.
74
00:02:40,114 --> 00:02:41,664
Do you remember
when I performed
75
00:02:41,749 --> 00:02:42,849
during halftime
at the Wool Bowl?
76
00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,317
It was on ESPN-34.
77
00:02:44,385 --> 00:02:46,986
♪ You can't spell "America" ♪
78
00:02:47,037 --> 00:02:50,323
♪ without w-o-o-l ♪
79
00:02:50,374 --> 00:02:52,926
♪ it's all better in wool ♪
80
00:02:52,993 --> 00:02:54,427
A singer, everyone!
81
00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:57,597
Woolly the wool mascot,
everybody!
82
00:02:59,967 --> 00:03:01,301
The sponsors
were so happy with me
83
00:03:01,368 --> 00:03:04,270
they're now naming me
the new celebrity face of wool.
84
00:03:04,338 --> 00:03:05,838
How exciting!
85
00:03:05,890 --> 00:03:08,892
Every year my aunt sends me
a wool sweater for Christmas.
86
00:03:08,976 --> 00:03:12,211
We get it, Aunt Alice.
You're a sheep.
87
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,347
Also, this is very lucrative.
88
00:03:14,398 --> 00:03:17,350
Paul and I can finally buy
that timeshare in Betasten Bos,
89
00:03:17,418 --> 00:03:20,019
Amsterdam's premier
private sex garden.
90
00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:21,688
They have
genetically altered men there
91
00:03:21,755 --> 00:03:24,223
with minotaur heads that
chase you through the brambles.
92
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,376
Okay. Well, good-bye,
93
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:30,229
my closest female friend.
94
00:03:31,432 --> 00:03:33,066
Oh, my God.
95
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:35,718
The season's over.
Why are you losers still here?
96
00:03:35,803 --> 00:03:37,086
Final melee, Liz.
97
00:03:37,171 --> 00:03:38,204
It's the last game
of the season
98
00:03:38,272 --> 00:03:40,073
and no one wants to lose.
99
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:41,975
You have no summer plans?
100
00:03:42,042 --> 00:03:44,077
Well, David Eggers and I
are designing a new font.
101
00:03:44,144 --> 00:03:45,311
Ugh, shut up.
102
00:03:45,379 --> 00:03:47,847
Frank, you have a girlfriend.
103
00:03:47,898 --> 00:03:49,248
And Lynn wants me
to give up video games
104
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,750
'cause she thinks
I need to grow up.
105
00:03:50,818 --> 00:03:52,151
How's this for growing up?
106
00:03:52,219 --> 00:03:53,252
Last night for dinner
107
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,489
I put milk in my Apple Jacks.
108
00:03:56,557 --> 00:03:58,891
Ha! I distracted you,
and you died.
109
00:03:58,943 --> 00:04:00,559
- Game over.
- No, I shot my bazooka
110
00:04:00,611 --> 00:04:02,929
at the ground to kill myself
'cause Toofer had me cornered.
111
00:04:02,997 --> 00:04:05,064
Now I respawn and start over.
112
00:04:05,132 --> 00:04:06,532
So you're killing yourself
113
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,451
rather than let
someone else win?
114
00:04:08,535 --> 00:04:09,802
That's why everyone
has zero kills
115
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,871
and we've been playing
for 18 hours.
116
00:04:11,939 --> 00:04:14,240
I'm wearing a diaper,
like a baby would.
117
00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:16,759
Wow. I can't wait
to get out of here.
118
00:04:16,844 --> 00:04:20,263
For three months.
It's gonna be glorious.
119
00:04:22,749 --> 00:04:26,185
♪ ♪
120
00:04:26,253 --> 00:04:28,021
Mmm.
121
00:04:28,088 --> 00:04:29,755
Hi, neighbor.
II'm ina Garten.
122
00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,524
You know,
my husband Jeffrey is away,
123
00:04:31,592 --> 00:04:33,693
and I've got some bruschetta
and white wine open.
124
00:04:33,761 --> 00:04:37,063
- Why don't you come over?
- I'm alive!
125
00:04:38,432 --> 00:04:41,300
All I have left is to pay
the fine that I incurred
126
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,969
for committing a hate crime
127
00:04:43,037 --> 00:04:46,639
against what the city is
now claiming was a Jewish tree.
128
00:04:46,707 --> 00:04:47,707
And I'm free.
129
00:04:47,775 --> 00:04:48,875
Have a great summer.
130
00:04:48,942 --> 00:04:50,209
I'm not one
for good-bye speeches,
131
00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:52,545
but I do feel...
132
00:04:52,613 --> 00:04:53,813
Lutz, what are you doing?
133
00:04:53,881 --> 00:04:56,049
Don't look at me.
134
00:04:56,116 --> 00:04:57,684
Mm.
135
00:04:57,751 --> 00:05:00,837
Jenna, this is a great day
136
00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:02,155
for the wool council.
137
00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:03,489
Well, I am very proud
138
00:05:03,557 --> 00:05:05,558
to be your new spokeswoman.
139
00:05:05,626 --> 00:05:07,860
You know, in the past,
I was the face of Clinique,
140
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,229
a French-Canadian
anal rejuvenation clinic.
141
00:05:10,297 --> 00:05:13,766
And I was the feet
of filthylittlefeet.com.
142
00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,735
Yes, well, about that.
143
00:05:15,802 --> 00:05:18,071
Jenna...
144
00:05:18,138 --> 00:05:20,873
Wool is a wholesome fabric,
145
00:05:20,941 --> 00:05:23,910
which is why your contract
includes a morality clause.
146
00:05:23,977 --> 00:05:25,278
You will be required
147
00:05:25,345 --> 00:05:26,612
to conduct
your personal life in manner
148
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,414
which is consistent
with the values
149
00:05:28,482 --> 00:05:29,682
of this industry.
150
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,517
Oh, of course.
151
00:05:31,585 --> 00:05:33,219
We're just a little worried
152
00:05:33,287 --> 00:05:35,371
about publicity like this.
153
00:05:37,157 --> 00:05:39,625
No, Eugene,
that's not just some guy
154
00:05:39,693 --> 00:05:41,427
I picked up at a dog bar.
155
00:05:41,495 --> 00:05:43,880
Paul and I are
in a committed relationship.
156
00:05:43,964 --> 00:05:45,198
Is he a cross dresser?
157
00:05:45,265 --> 00:05:48,034
Goodness, no!
158
00:05:48,102 --> 00:05:51,687
Paul is a gender-dysmorphic
bigenitalian pansexualle.
159
00:05:51,772 --> 00:05:53,072
I see.
160
00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,541
Maybe we should take a few days
and think about this.
161
00:05:55,609 --> 00:05:57,043
No. Whenever men say that,
162
00:05:57,111 --> 00:05:58,511
I never see them again.
163
00:05:58,579 --> 00:06:00,413
You just need to meet Paul.
164
00:06:00,481 --> 00:06:03,349
Our relationship is
everything that wool is about...
165
00:06:03,417 --> 00:06:05,485
love, warmth,
166
00:06:05,552 --> 00:06:07,987
chafed skin.
167
00:06:08,038 --> 00:06:10,022
♪ Oh, noble sheep ♪
168
00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,991
♪ we eat your babies ♪
169
00:06:12,059 --> 00:06:14,193
♪ we use your brain ♪
170
00:06:14,261 --> 00:06:16,095
♪ to fight off rabies ♪
171
00:06:16,163 --> 00:06:20,099
♪ but the most beautiful
gift you give us ♪
172
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:23,936
♪ is wool ♪
173
00:06:27,374 --> 00:06:28,975
All right, Jenna.
I'd love to meet Paul.
174
00:06:29,042 --> 00:06:30,643
Let's say dinner tomorrow night
at your place.
175
00:06:30,711 --> 00:06:31,811
I'll bring my wife.
176
00:06:31,879 --> 00:06:32,845
Excellent.
177
00:06:32,913 --> 00:06:34,230
I should warn you...
178
00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:37,817
This had better be
a very normal dinner.
179
00:06:37,884 --> 00:06:41,020
No hijinks, no farce,
and not just for the sake
180
00:06:41,088 --> 00:06:42,755
of your relationship
with the National Wool Council,
181
00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:44,423
but for the sake of my wife,
182
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,958
whose parents
were killed in front of her
183
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:48,427
while an episode
Three's Company was...
184
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,897
You know what? I'll let her
tell the story at dinner.
185
00:06:50,964 --> 00:06:53,783
Wool-come, Jenna.
186
00:06:55,569 --> 00:06:57,804
Sherry, who was at the door?
187
00:06:57,871 --> 00:06:58,971
Kenneth, what are you doing?
188
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:00,807
Well, I know
your wife was kidnapped
189
00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:02,141
by some
convenience store owners,
190
00:07:02,209 --> 00:07:03,576
and I'm real sorry about that.
191
00:07:03,644 --> 00:07:04,844
I'm not looking for pity.
192
00:07:04,912 --> 00:07:07,580
Pity? Oh, sir,
back in Stone Mountain,
193
00:07:07,648 --> 00:07:09,916
people lose their spouses
all the time.
194
00:07:09,983 --> 00:07:12,618
Mumps, hill people attacks,
195
00:07:12,686 --> 00:07:15,655
cave collapses,
both business and residential.
196
00:07:15,722 --> 00:07:16,989
Continuing my list...
197
00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:18,858
Kenneth, what do you want?
198
00:07:18,926 --> 00:07:20,359
When someone needs help,
199
00:07:20,427 --> 00:07:22,361
we don't waste time
feeling sorry for 'em.
200
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:23,763
We help them.
201
00:07:23,831 --> 00:07:27,366
And you seem like you
could use a home-cooked meal.
202
00:07:31,104 --> 00:07:32,872
Oh, that smells delicious.
203
00:07:32,939 --> 00:07:35,158
It's an old
Parcell family recipe.
204
00:07:35,242 --> 00:07:37,510
But I like to replace
the Union soldier meat
205
00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:39,512
with boiled potatoes.
206
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:40,963
I haven't eaten at this table
207
00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:44,050
since Avery's been gone.
208
00:07:44,117 --> 00:07:45,451
That was her chair.
209
00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:49,622
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, please sit.
210
00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:52,191
You two have
similar-shaped buttocks.
211
00:07:57,231 --> 00:07:58,965
Deer God,
212
00:07:59,032 --> 00:08:00,833
thank you for this venison.
213
00:08:00,901 --> 00:08:03,502
Onion god,
thank you for these onions.
214
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,806
Carrot god,
thank you for the carrots.
215
00:08:07,974 --> 00:08:11,110
Spanish for older women,
lesson 12.
216
00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:12,712
Emergencies.
217
00:08:12,779 --> 00:08:16,716
"Disaster approaching."
Desastre inminente.
218
00:08:16,783 --> 00:08:19,018
Desastre inminente.
219
00:08:20,287 --> 00:08:22,038
Fore!
220
00:08:22,122 --> 00:08:23,706
- What?
- Oh, my God!
221
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:26,926
Liz? It's Tracy!
From work!
222
00:08:26,994 --> 00:08:28,194
What are you doing here?
223
00:08:28,262 --> 00:08:29,879
I just bought everything
around this house.
224
00:08:29,963 --> 00:08:32,181
It's supposed to be
a nice area,
225
00:08:32,266 --> 00:08:35,334
except for the "new element"
everyone keeps talking about.
226
00:08:35,385 --> 00:08:36,886
Look, I got a long night
227
00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:38,304
of shooting guns in the air
ahead of me.
228
00:08:38,355 --> 00:08:40,022
Do you mind
if I take a nap here?
229
00:08:40,107 --> 00:08:42,358
Of course!
You're my neighbor.
230
00:08:42,442 --> 00:08:45,278
I wanted a normal summer,
and chaos is my normal.
231
00:08:45,345 --> 00:08:46,946
If I start screaming
in my sleep,
232
00:08:47,014 --> 00:08:48,281
do not wake me up!
233
00:08:48,348 --> 00:08:50,616
I will attack you!
234
00:08:53,587 --> 00:08:55,854
Wake me up!
235
00:08:55,906 --> 00:08:57,540
Free me from this!
236
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,030
Ah, Kenneth...
237
00:09:07,031 --> 00:09:08,699
Thank you
for dinner last night.
238
00:09:08,766 --> 00:09:10,033
It was nice to hear
a woman's laugh
239
00:09:10,101 --> 00:09:11,118
in the house again.
240
00:09:12,603 --> 00:09:14,304
You're bad.
241
00:09:14,372 --> 00:09:16,006
I thought maybe
we could do it again tonight.
242
00:09:16,074 --> 00:09:18,292
Oh, sir, I'd love to,
but I can't.
243
00:09:18,376 --> 00:09:20,010
- Why not?
- Well, I have to work.
244
00:09:20,078 --> 00:09:21,345
Now that the crew is gone,
245
00:09:21,412 --> 00:09:23,330
I like to give everything
a good spring cleaning,
246
00:09:23,414 --> 00:09:24,648
starting in the bathroom.
247
00:09:24,716 --> 00:09:25,983
There's a lot of drawings
248
00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:27,484
of Ms. Maroney eating celery
249
00:09:27,552 --> 00:09:29,786
that men are giving to her
with their hips.
250
00:09:29,854 --> 00:09:30,954
I see.
251
00:09:31,022 --> 00:09:33,056
Well, another time, perhaps.
252
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:35,225
I'll just be alone...
253
00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:36,793
In a house full of memories.
254
00:09:36,861 --> 00:09:40,180
My house is full
of white cockroaches.
255
00:09:43,101 --> 00:09:44,518
Hi, sweetie!
256
00:09:44,602 --> 00:09:46,820
I got you
an early anniversary present.
257
00:09:46,905 --> 00:09:48,505
It's a new leash for
when I walk you through the park
258
00:09:48,573 --> 00:09:50,073
like a dog.
259
00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:53,410
The weather's supposed to be
nice and muddy tomorrow...
260
00:09:53,478 --> 00:09:55,145
- What's wrong?
- Look...
261
00:09:55,213 --> 00:09:56,647
I'm the face of wool now.
262
00:09:56,714 --> 00:09:58,148
I need to maintain
a certain image.
263
00:09:58,216 --> 00:10:00,517
So, what,
we can't be ourselves?
264
00:10:00,585 --> 00:10:01,852
Just not in public.
265
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,670
We can do whatever
we want here.
266
00:10:03,755 --> 00:10:06,123
Except tonight.
267
00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:08,225
Mr. Gremby is coming over
for dinner.
268
00:10:08,293 --> 00:10:10,060
Eugene Gremby
from the wool council?
269
00:10:10,128 --> 00:10:11,995
- Tonight?
- I just want him to meet you
270
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:13,430
and see us together.
271
00:10:13,498 --> 00:10:16,133
Then he'll get it.
He'll understand what we have.
272
00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:17,834
But the Grembys
are pretty conservative.
273
00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:19,269
Maybe you should change.
274
00:10:19,337 --> 00:10:21,939
Really? This is
a conservative top, Jenna.
275
00:10:22,006 --> 00:10:23,774
And I hate to be
the stereotypical man,
276
00:10:23,841 --> 00:10:27,010
but this is my home
and I wanna wear this blouse.
277
00:10:27,078 --> 00:10:29,079
Paul, please.
You need to change.
278
00:10:29,147 --> 00:10:31,415
Okay, I'll change.
279
00:10:31,482 --> 00:10:33,417
And I'll cancel
the sitter for tonight,
280
00:10:33,484 --> 00:10:37,387
tell him he won't need
to come sit on us after all.
281
00:10:39,157 --> 00:10:42,092
Oh, you just made
a very dangerous enemy, Kenneth.
282
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,794
Thanks for the heads-up,
Jonathan.
283
00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:46,079
Do you wanna come
to my birthday party?
284
00:10:46,164 --> 00:10:48,131
What are you doing?
That's my job.
285
00:10:48,199 --> 00:10:49,800
Uh, Jonathan
volunteered to clean up
286
00:10:49,867 --> 00:10:51,868
so you could come over again
tonight, right, Jonathan?
287
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:53,971
But, sir,
it's not just the bathrooms
288
00:10:54,038 --> 00:10:55,439
that need cleaning.
289
00:10:55,506 --> 00:10:57,391
That's why
Jonathan's family is here.
290
00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:02,763
Uh, Liddy goes down at 7:00,
so I'll see you then.
291
00:11:04,382 --> 00:11:05,732
Oh, my.
292
00:11:10,855 --> 00:11:12,089
Liz Lemon.
293
00:11:12,156 --> 00:11:13,724
Any idea when your party
will be over, tray?
294
00:11:13,791 --> 00:11:14,992
The party hasn't started.
295
00:11:15,059 --> 00:11:16,610
That's just the guys
setting up.
296
00:11:16,694 --> 00:11:17,794
Could I borrow a cup of sugar?
297
00:11:17,862 --> 00:11:18,946
I'm trying to get a hummingbird
298
00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,330
to drink out of my penis.
299
00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:21,498
I can't do this, Tracy.
300
00:11:21,565 --> 00:11:22,833
This is supposed to be
my vacation.
301
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,284
I wanted to spend it
learning Spanish,
302
00:11:24,369 --> 00:11:25,786
not living next door to you.
303
00:11:25,870 --> 00:11:28,455
I give up. Of course I'm not
allowed to be a human being.
304
00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:29,756
Oh, I'm sorry.
305
00:11:29,841 --> 00:11:31,241
You didn't wanna live
next door to your friend
306
00:11:31,309 --> 00:11:32,909
after all I've done for you?
307
00:11:32,961 --> 00:11:35,679
How many times have I come over
and painted your apartment?
308
00:11:35,747 --> 00:11:37,381
Three! And by the way,
stop doing that.
309
00:11:37,432 --> 00:11:39,383
Or maybe you're saying
we're not friends.
310
00:11:39,434 --> 00:11:40,767
That's fine.
311
00:11:40,852 --> 00:11:44,471
I don't think it'll affect
my behavior next season.
312
00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:49,192
"The sad woman
has been trapped by the idiot."
313
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:51,528
La mujer triste...
314
00:11:51,596 --> 00:11:52,796
We're friends.
315
00:11:52,864 --> 00:11:53,947
Next year's gonna be fine,
316
00:11:54,032 --> 00:11:55,232
'cause we're good friends.
317
00:11:55,283 --> 00:11:58,168
We're sp...
spending the summer together.
318
00:11:58,236 --> 00:12:01,271
Great! I'll come over
tomorrow morning!
319
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:10,881
Okay, well,
320
00:12:10,948 --> 00:12:12,549
since you've just been staring
at me like that
321
00:12:12,617 --> 00:12:14,084
for the last 20 minutes,
322
00:12:14,152 --> 00:12:15,385
I'm gonna scoot on out of here.
323
00:12:15,453 --> 00:12:17,321
Don't go, Avery.
324
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,622
Uh, I mean Kenneth.
325
00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:19,856
Sir.
326
00:12:19,924 --> 00:12:21,558
You called me "Avery."
327
00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:23,560
That's your
kidnapped wife's name.
328
00:12:23,627 --> 00:12:25,195
What a coincidence!
329
00:12:25,263 --> 00:12:26,863
I haven't slept in days.
330
00:12:26,931 --> 00:12:28,565
I'm not really feeling
like myself.
331
00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:29,700
You know, in the evening,
332
00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:32,069
Avery and I would
sit together and talk.
333
00:12:32,136 --> 00:12:33,537
It was a nice way to unwind.
334
00:12:33,604 --> 00:12:34,738
Well, I bet you miss...
335
00:12:34,805 --> 00:12:37,507
Put on these earrings.
336
00:12:44,082 --> 00:12:46,717
So...Tell me
about your day.
337
00:12:46,784 --> 00:12:50,053
Well, I got
a soft yes from Jonathan
338
00:12:50,121 --> 00:12:52,055
about my birthday party.
339
00:12:52,123 --> 00:12:54,858
Then I went to
a very uncomfortable dinner.
340
00:12:54,926 --> 00:12:57,761
Do you know what I did today?
341
00:12:57,829 --> 00:12:59,629
Tried to be strong,
sat alone with my thoughts,
342
00:12:59,697 --> 00:13:01,698
then...
343
00:13:01,766 --> 00:13:03,767
I went to a wonderful dinner.
344
00:13:03,835 --> 00:13:07,270
Then the dinner ended?
345
00:13:07,338 --> 00:13:08,939
No.
346
00:13:11,943 --> 00:13:14,544
So, Paul, what do you do?
347
00:13:14,612 --> 00:13:17,064
I am in
the restaurant business,
348
00:13:17,148 --> 00:13:21,218
and I really love...
349
00:13:21,285 --> 00:13:23,387
Golf-playing.
350
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,123
Is that so?
What's your handicap?
351
00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:27,624
Oh, well,
I don't have one myself,
352
00:13:27,692 --> 00:13:30,560
but I do like a girl
with a limp.
353
00:13:39,504 --> 00:13:40,570
Oh, Paul.
354
00:13:40,638 --> 00:13:41,755
So, Mrs. Gremby,
355
00:13:41,839 --> 00:13:44,207
you're also named "Eugene"?
356
00:13:44,275 --> 00:13:46,042
Oh, no, dear.
It's "u" period "Jean."
357
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,711
My first name
is U. Jean
358
00:13:47,779 --> 00:13:50,414
with a "u."
359
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,553
Oh, that's a nice blouse.
360
00:13:56,621 --> 00:13:58,238
It definitely goes
with your eyes,
361
00:13:58,322 --> 00:13:59,489
don't you think, Jenna?
362
00:13:59,557 --> 00:14:01,224
Golf, blouses.
363
00:14:01,292 --> 00:14:03,160
I'm just so impressed
with how normal
364
00:14:03,227 --> 00:14:04,661
this dinner has been.
365
00:14:04,729 --> 00:14:06,329
Very wool!
366
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,782
Greetings, slaves!
367
00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:11,334
Who's ready to get sat on?
368
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,737
Uh, sir,
I don't know who you are,
369
00:14:13,805 --> 00:14:14,838
but you are not wanted here.
370
00:14:14,906 --> 00:14:16,106
Didn't you get my text?
371
00:14:16,174 --> 00:14:17,507
I thought
it was part of the game.
372
00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:18,842
We are good people
373
00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:20,177
who have no interest
in being sat on!
374
00:14:20,244 --> 00:14:22,646
So don't spew your statistics
375
00:14:22,713 --> 00:14:24,431
on the health benefits
of weekly sittings
376
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:26,650
or its wide acceptance
in eastern cultures.
377
00:14:26,717 --> 00:14:28,268
- Paul.
- We're normal!
378
00:14:28,352 --> 00:14:29,820
And being normal is American,
379
00:14:29,887 --> 00:14:33,824
and it's respectable,
and it makes us...
380
00:14:33,891 --> 00:14:35,258
Happy.
381
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,461
Now get out of here.
382
00:14:38,729 --> 00:14:40,197
Well done, sir.
Bravo.
383
00:14:40,264 --> 00:14:42,699
You handled that pervert
with aplomb.
384
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,701
Very wool.
385
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:49,105
To tomorrow's photo shoot
and wool.
386
00:14:56,147 --> 00:14:58,415
Shh! Shh, shh, shh.
387
00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:06,115
Unbelievable...
you're still here.
388
00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:07,962
It's still zero, zero, zero.
389
00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:08,996
To zero.
390
00:15:09,064 --> 00:15:10,665
I did it.
391
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:11,866
I spoke.
392
00:15:11,934 --> 00:15:13,201
This didn't get mailed.
393
00:15:13,268 --> 00:15:14,435
What are you doing here?
394
00:15:14,503 --> 00:15:15,737
Shouldn't you be
out in the Hamptons
395
00:15:15,804 --> 00:15:17,805
not getting invited to stuff?
396
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,073
I came back for the day.
397
00:15:19,141 --> 00:15:21,125
Tracy lives next door to me.
398
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:22,827
I can't leave, I can't stay.
399
00:15:22,911 --> 00:15:24,445
I'm trapped.
400
00:15:24,496 --> 00:15:25,880
Speaking of trapped,
I got you, Lutz!
401
00:15:25,947 --> 00:15:27,215
Nope, grenade.
402
00:15:27,282 --> 00:15:28,349
Blowing myself up.
403
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:30,418
Oh, my God.
404
00:15:30,486 --> 00:15:32,487
That's what I have to do.
405
00:15:32,554 --> 00:15:34,989
I can be a normal person.
406
00:15:35,057 --> 00:15:38,309
I have to blow myself up.
407
00:15:40,145 --> 00:15:41,880
No, your honor,
I'm not disputing the fine.
408
00:15:41,947 --> 00:15:43,882
I'm refusing to pay it.
409
00:15:43,949 --> 00:15:45,950
Grenade, respawn.
410
00:15:46,018 --> 00:15:47,785
Miss... I mean, ma'am,
read the fine print.
411
00:15:47,853 --> 00:15:49,621
If you don't pay,
I can sentence you to
412
00:15:49,688 --> 00:15:51,456
up to three weeks
of community service.
413
00:15:51,524 --> 00:15:53,074
How about three months?
414
00:15:53,142 --> 00:15:55,093
This is a sham,
your dis-honor.
415
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,928
Nay, a mockery!
416
00:15:56,996 --> 00:15:59,113
I've put the system on trial.
417
00:15:59,198 --> 00:16:00,765
You can't handle the truth.
418
00:16:00,833 --> 00:16:02,967
I'm out of order?
You're out of order.
419
00:16:03,035 --> 00:16:04,752
Victor Sifuentes!
Hoo-ah!
420
00:16:04,837 --> 00:16:06,454
Gavel, gavel, gavel!
421
00:16:06,539 --> 00:16:07,839
I lost my gavel
over the weekend,
422
00:16:07,907 --> 00:16:09,607
but it doesn't mean
you can talk to me like that.
423
00:16:09,675 --> 00:16:11,593
Talk to who?
I just see an empty robe.
424
00:16:11,677 --> 00:16:14,812
Do you honestly not see me,
or are you being rude?
425
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,265
- I am being rude.
- That's it.
426
00:16:17,349 --> 00:16:19,117
Twelve weeks
of community service.
427
00:16:19,184 --> 00:16:21,519
You'll spend your whole summer
picking up trash.
428
00:16:21,587 --> 00:16:23,988
Gavel, gavel, gavel!
429
00:16:24,056 --> 00:16:25,590
Freedom!
430
00:16:25,641 --> 00:16:27,859
For me.
Probably not you guys.
431
00:16:27,927 --> 00:16:31,129
Mr. Donaghy,
where are my clothes?
432
00:16:31,196 --> 00:16:32,697
Sherry must've put them
in the wash
433
00:16:32,765 --> 00:16:33,932
while you were showering.
434
00:16:33,999 --> 00:16:36,150
Now, give us a twirl.
435
00:16:36,235 --> 00:16:39,037
This is not right, sir.
436
00:16:39,104 --> 00:16:40,772
Now, what do you say you
put on some of Avery's perfume
437
00:16:40,839 --> 00:16:42,140
and we head over
to Strawberry Fields
438
00:16:42,207 --> 00:16:43,975
and whip pennies
at the drum circle?
439
00:16:44,043 --> 00:16:47,445
I don't like to swear, sir,
but, no, thank you.
440
00:16:47,513 --> 00:16:49,847
Now, maybe I haven't had a wife
who was kidnapped,
441
00:16:49,915 --> 00:16:51,950
but I have seen the Brady Bunch
442
00:16:52,017 --> 00:16:53,885
where Tiger runs away.
443
00:16:53,953 --> 00:16:57,622
We've all been through
some bad stuff, Mr. Donaghy.
444
00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:01,309
I had the perfect woman.
445
00:17:01,393 --> 00:17:02,810
Gorgeous.
446
00:17:02,895 --> 00:17:04,662
Brilliant.
447
00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:07,298
Always let me be the hat
in Monopoly.
448
00:17:07,349 --> 00:17:09,400
Why is this happening to me?
449
00:17:09,468 --> 00:17:11,703
God, are you punishing me
450
00:17:11,770 --> 00:17:13,838
because my hair
is better than yours?
451
00:17:13,906 --> 00:17:15,707
All right, sir, enough.
452
00:17:15,774 --> 00:17:18,026
You wanted me
to be Mrs. Donaghy?
453
00:17:18,110 --> 00:17:20,978
Well, I know Mrs. Donaghy,
and she is mean.
454
00:17:21,030 --> 00:17:23,481
She once made Rahm Emanuel
cry in an airport lounge.
455
00:17:23,549 --> 00:17:25,883
So fine.
I will be Mrs. Donaghy.
456
00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:27,719
And I'm gonna say...
457
00:17:27,786 --> 00:17:29,554
Listen to me, Jack.
458
00:17:29,622 --> 00:17:30,855
You don't want people
to pity you?
459
00:17:30,923 --> 00:17:33,891
Well, they should,
because you're pitiful.
460
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:36,394
You think you're all alone.
"Boo-hoo, why can't my life
461
00:17:36,462 --> 00:17:37,695
be the way it was?"
462
00:17:37,763 --> 00:17:39,864
Well, it can't.
463
00:17:39,932 --> 00:17:41,866
And you're not alone.
You have a daughter
464
00:17:41,934 --> 00:17:43,701
you should be
spending time with
465
00:17:43,769 --> 00:17:45,236
instead of being weird
to Kenneth.
466
00:17:45,304 --> 00:17:49,007
He may be a chinless piece
of human garbage,
467
00:17:49,074 --> 00:17:52,010
but he will never fill the void
468
00:17:52,077 --> 00:17:53,611
that I left behind.
469
00:17:53,679 --> 00:17:55,346
Oh, look, here he comes now.
470
00:17:55,397 --> 00:17:57,115
He's gonna ask me
to go to his birthday party.
471
00:17:57,182 --> 00:17:58,316
"Hi, 'Mrs. Don'gy.'
472
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,318
you wan' come on down
my birfday party?"
473
00:18:00,369 --> 00:18:03,354
No, I can't,
but I know Jack can.
474
00:18:03,405 --> 00:18:06,024
Kenneth, Kenneth, I get it.
475
00:18:08,827 --> 00:18:11,929
Uh, Sherry?
Put Liddy's baby pantsuit on.
476
00:18:11,997 --> 00:18:14,098
I'm taking her
to work with me today.
477
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:15,400
All right, Mr. Donaghy.
478
00:18:15,467 --> 00:18:18,069
And, uh, thank you.
479
00:18:18,137 --> 00:18:20,371
Avery.
480
00:18:24,476 --> 00:18:26,728
Here's to you, Jenna Maroney.
481
00:18:26,812 --> 00:18:27,912
Even with your back to me,
482
00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:30,881
I can definitely tell it's you.
483
00:18:30,933 --> 00:18:32,233
I'll turn around later.
484
00:18:32,317 --> 00:18:34,485
Perfect.
I'll keep talking.
485
00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:38,322
Mm, wool.
486
00:18:38,390 --> 00:18:41,659
You know, my wife U. Jean
is out of town
487
00:18:41,727 --> 00:18:43,428
visiting her parents' graves.
488
00:18:43,495 --> 00:18:45,079
Maybe we could meet later
for a drink
489
00:18:45,164 --> 00:18:46,731
and you could show me
your front.
490
00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:48,199
We could do that...
491
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,417
Now!
492
00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:50,835
Paul?
493
00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:52,253
And Jenna.
494
00:18:52,337 --> 00:18:53,838
Oh, my God!
495
00:18:53,906 --> 00:18:55,173
I'm finally taking a stand...
496
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,575
After all these days.
497
00:18:57,643 --> 00:18:59,143
You wanted us to be normal.
498
00:18:59,211 --> 00:19:01,295
Well, this is our normal,
499
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:05,049
and this is what we think
of your morality clause.
500
00:19:08,654 --> 00:19:10,421
Mm, give mommy some beard.
501
00:19:10,489 --> 00:19:11,773
Ugh!
502
00:19:11,857 --> 00:19:13,441
Oh, you got
some crumbs in here.
503
00:19:13,525 --> 00:19:14,625
Oh, eat it.
504
00:19:19,198 --> 00:19:22,116
Good God! Lemon?
505
00:19:22,201 --> 00:19:25,002
Liddy, say
"good God, Lemon."
506
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:26,537
Goo gah, Lem.
507
00:19:26,605 --> 00:19:29,440
I did it, Jack.
I got my dream vacation!
508
00:19:29,491 --> 00:19:30,708
You're on a chain gang.
509
00:19:30,776 --> 00:19:32,543
I'm outdoors,
I'm wearing comfortable clothes,
510
00:19:32,611 --> 00:19:35,129
I'm gardening,
and I'm learning Spanish!
511
00:19:44,306 --> 00:19:46,424
Uh, Liddy and I
just went to strawberry fields,
512
00:19:46,492 --> 00:19:49,660
where she spat up
on a white lady's dreads.
513
00:19:50,929 --> 00:19:52,029
It's nice to see
that we're back
514
00:19:52,097 --> 00:19:53,898
to our version of normal.
515
00:19:56,902 --> 00:19:58,903
- Jenna?
- Oh, Jenna, no.
516
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:00,738
There you are!
Bad dog!
517
00:20:00,806 --> 00:20:02,473
You'll go in the crate tonight.
518
00:20:02,541 --> 00:20:05,009
- Grr.
- Ew.
519
00:20:05,077 --> 00:20:06,194
Hey, Jack.
Hey, Liz.
520
00:20:06,278 --> 00:20:08,379
Ow!
521
00:20:08,447 --> 00:20:09,664
Fore!
522
00:20:09,748 --> 00:20:11,148
Hey, guys!
523
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,001
It's me! Tracy!
The black guy from work.
524
00:20:14,086 --> 00:20:15,369
What are you doing?
525
00:20:15,454 --> 00:20:16,454
I hooked a ball onto a truck
526
00:20:16,505 --> 00:20:17,755
on the Long Island Expressway.
527
00:20:17,823 --> 00:20:20,858
And Tracy Jordan
does not take Mulligans.
528
00:20:20,926 --> 00:20:23,060
Good thing you had
to move out of that house.
529
00:20:23,128 --> 00:20:25,930
Some idiot rammed his boat
that I was driving into it.
530
00:20:31,136 --> 00:20:33,304
You see all the good
that is in them,
531
00:20:33,355 --> 00:20:35,172
how much capacity for love?
532
00:20:35,224 --> 00:20:37,909
Yes, I know.
533
00:20:37,976 --> 00:20:39,677
I just need more time
with them.
534
00:20:39,745 --> 00:20:42,179
Give me more time, Jacob,
535
00:20:42,231 --> 00:20:43,731
I beg of you!
536
00:20:50,009 --> 00:20:51,527
Go, I see you...
I'm killing myself.
537
00:20:51,878 --> 00:20:52,879
Respawn.
538
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,114
Respawn.
539
00:20:56,966 --> 00:20:58,168
Oh...
Dammit!
540
00:21:02,236 --> 00:21:05,636
Hola, everyone!
Are you ready for Season 6?
541
00:21:09,039 --> 00:21:10,039
Oh, my God.
542
00:21:10,342 --> 00:21:11,108
Wait...
543
00:21:11,110 --> 00:21:12,977
How long have we've been here?
544
00:21:12,978 --> 00:21:22,977
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
38248
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.