All language subtitles for Lilyhammer - S02E02.en

Dear nephew ! Hope you do not have
started by piracy -

- Although I after three years in Norway
wish I had done it.

Just like albinos in Lagos
we are isolated from the rest of society.

And they break down by humbling us
and call it " integration" .

They say that Norway is a cold country .
The worst cold I 've felt so far -

- Does not come from climate
but from men's hearts.

But you know the uncle.
I never lose faith in people .

Go home !

Stupid man !
What have I done ? Nothing !

- What did you say?
Stop !

Norwegian lyrics : Ellen Prytz

I'm sitting in the audience , and so he takes business
Sikhs me up on stage and says :

" Torgeir , how do we solve this problem? "

And then he'll want me to peel a banana.
Easy- peasy , I think, and begin .

" No, no . It's all wrong. " And then he puts
a video on ?ssen a gorilla does.

And do not you think apa makes it quite the opposite ?

It starts there, somehow.
Like that . Much easier .

So , I 'll buy business seminar
on you, and you learn to peel a banana ?

OMG !
The banana is a metaphor .

Gorilla teaches
to see the problem from another angle.

Okay . No more school for you .
The big words make you brain damage.

- Oh shit ! How fast I ran ?
- Pretty fast.

Great ! Who do I bribe
To get out of this?

But , boss ...
If you start thinking like a monkey -

- You might see the problem
in a different perspective .

The point of discrimination it is
everything is allowed to mess with . Right?

By joking and joking together
in such a safe and nice frame like this -

- Do we like the sting from the scary words.

Bring it here! Mocha Man ??!

- Dude !
- Bleikefis , it was fun .

- Searing !
- Potatoes !

Do you? Everything is permitted .
Orda means like nothing.

- Sotr?r !
- Fucking whore pussy !

No, it's not okay , Balotelli .
There is gender discrimination.

The topic today is racism ,
and then there is what we fool around with .

It must learn
If you would like to be Norwegian .

- Norwegian ?
Where are you going? You ! Balotelli !

- Does not he responsible for food today?
- Let him be. The food is ready , the .

Mussel !

Son of a bitch !

Can you hurry up a bit , bananhue ?
- It is very hard .

My mate said
he sawed it right off.

You know what? Move over.

Yes. Funker , it also .

Can say what you will about these guys developing countries ,
but the cake can.

So you thrive in your new job ?
Yes, I love to drive colored people around.

There are worse jobs.

Check this out ! Johnny poppa
camera in Lillehammer hill .

Being the classy in our living room , right?

You know that these here are digital now?
It is digital photography .

They will laugh themselves to death in the " State
voices " when they see pictures of you two.

Welcome , everyone!

Very friendly management in Flamingo
group has taken the time to come here.

Now that we have entered into a shareholder , -

- I think it was appropriate
with a slightly better dinner.

Our eminent African chef
conjured up some goodies . Enjoy yourselves.

A chef from a country without food .
Sounds promising.

Yum - yum - yum!

San Antonio ! This is real food .
- Yeah . Balotelli was boat refugee .

Seven years in a transit center in Sicily , so I
thinking that he has snatched up a few tricks.

- This is pure Martorano 's.
- Nice that you like it.

Like ? You like happy ending
the massage department.

This is Sophia Loren swimming nude
of prosecco in the Trevi Fountain !

This is love !
Get him , so we'll leave him a round of applause .

Help! Help!

Balotelli ?

Is it him ?
Come on !

Now you must deal with you completely at ease.

Yes ! This is what happens
when you fuck with niggas is ours!

No more Tarantino movies for you!

Racist Motherfuckers !

Personally I do not believe in violence ,
but ... thank you .

He has a bit of a left hook , right?

- Panna cotta for my heroes .
- Was not that nice ?

It was nice .

Oh !
Just like that my grandmother made ??.

This settles it .
You should cook at the club.

- Eh ... but ...
- What is it?

He has been rejected
their application , so ...

Oh yes . Yes.
They should send him home , you know.

What ?
Forget it! He is here !

Now we have not authority to do anything
with a legally adopted UDI decisions .

- Send out another fool.
- So , you have no mu ....

Maybe you can explain Johnny
how things work here ?

Yes , Jan,
Johnny explain how things work here .

The damage may not ...
to have a chat with the caseworker ?

Good idea .

Where they have it hurt all the time,
while we have it good . We feel confident .

Suddenly , black man !
He cuts his head ! He kill !

He shall possess it, he shall have!
For his own all the dock ! See?

Is that him ?
- Yes.

Read about it in Samora . RPG .

Later they are Ugandan refugees ,
to understand asylum seekers better.

Die ! You die !
If you feel that you die , you're scared.

No!
Down on your knees ! Damn deserter !

Do you believe this?

Yes, it was long ago, Bj?rn .
- Yes.

- Nice to ... Nice to see you .
- You too .

- Good with kids? If you have five or six ?
- Five .

With three wives.

-That the matter to Odera Adebayo .
- Odera , yes .

He has been rejected .

I know that there are many foreign
freeloaders who indulge in our welfare , -

- But here he is different.
He could have really helped .

My partner likes
adding an a jocular tone.

- We do not play for Applicants.
Yeah ...

Yes ... No, then ... is it just
taking off her silk gloves , then.

You know, Bear,
it has circulated some rumors about you -

- So I took a short trip to your house
To provide some documentation .

As far as I know it is not
registered a Filipino employee of you.

No, but in all the world ...
This is totally insane .

Driver you
and sniper shooting adoptive daughter?

Adoptive Daughter ?

Sorry , this second floor ?
This is the wrong office . Come on !

- It went well .
- It was skivebom .

Sp?rs well with Balotelli now. getting enough
just get used to the Norwegian lunch box .

I'm not so sure about that . Maybe
we have peeled banana from the wrong end ?

Comes now , spring is coming now.

Come now, now , spring is coming now.

Do you know that guy here ?

It is ... So ...
Know and recognize ... He ...

He wanted me to sell the car for him .
Yes, we know it .

He drove himself to death at F?berg .
- Oh , of course. It was sad.

Was a damn ... damn likeable type.
What has happened to him ?

The main theory is that he
one skid and ran off the road , but ...

Yes , no ... Foreigners in winter conditions ...
It goes well like that.

Now what happend ...
This is crime scene examiner ours.

He has made ??some discoveries
that he did not quite understand .

- Laila . Scotland Yard is here .
Yes, you will take over where you , David.

Yes ...

It's that way that the victim was found
with a knitting needle in the neck .

So much so , yes ?

- Are you nervous ?
No, I'm totally calm.

A great honor to have you here .
What can we assist ?

Inspector ?stli ?
You speak very good English.

Crime Detective Smith , Scotland Yard.
We spoke on the phone about Hammer case.

- Yes. Here is the case file .
We are not quite done with it yet .

- It was clearly an accident , right?
- Yeah .

Here you are.
We make a new one for ourselves.

Could we meet and discuss the matter ? I
'll buy you dinner tea or whatever you want.

Thanks, that sounds delicious , but I am certain
busy with paperwork at the weekend.

Before I go ...
Could I borrow your bathroom?

Of course . Toilet are always
The Yards disposal.

Yes , Laila ,
where you see how the pros work .

According to the cops got your brother
in damage to kill himself -

- With a knitting needle while he drove .

He knitted while he was at 240 km / h
in his Ferrari on the slippery Norwegian roads .

Hardly !

It's definitely the guy
who took care of the car Duncy .

Hello , young lady!
You can not smoke in here !

Yes, I can , my friend .

Hey , hey !

Hey , hey . Hey . Hey !

We have concluded that there are no
humanitarian reasons to let you stay here .

You can not do this.
No. No, no, no! No!

Hey ! Hey ! Hey !

What is this all about?

Yes. When they are in dreamland .

- Already?
- Yes. I just put them up here .

The rhythm of the heart lulling them to sleep.

It 's not often I meet men
that has as good knack with children.

It is not the only
I have ... a good knack .

Ouch, ouch! Oh !

- Did you milk me?
- What ?

It felt very
as you ... sucked , somehow .

I guess I was just touched a gland .
You've milk explosive .

Yes, yes , but it felt like
that you intentionally somehow ...

But ... I did not.

Mm ! Surkrem and onions. It's good .

Cheers!

Technical Support. this is
Gareth from London. What is the problem ?

The problem is computers .
That's why I call, sort of.

We have two companies and ten machines,
and none of them work.

Want to read up
serial number on one of them?

Wait a minute.

It is Y374200725 .

These PCs do not have a valid license .
I will have to report you to the police.

It is I who run this joint .
It has known a misunderstanding .

No misunderstanding,
only finding of unlawful acquisition hardware.

Listen ... " Gareth " .
You're as English as I am.

You're a Punjab - guy rots away
in a call center in Mumbai.

Actually, I'm in New Delhi.
- Really?

What if I buy a cow or two to you,
and so we forget this conversation ?

For a moment , my friend.

Like that .
I had to switch to a secure line .

Smart .
Have you thought about my offer ?

My counter offer : on transferring 50 $ 000
to an account in the Cayman Islands.

50 000 ? Forget it!
- All right . When I notify the police.

Take it easy, now.
Now you need to keep track of samosas .

Have you heard about Norway ?
- Of course . The homeland of the a-ha.

Favorite - wait my music. so sad
and melancholy , yet so captivating.

Right.
I operate a reception center here .

I can get my guys to fix false
ID papers and you get hit right away .

The ladies here are beautiful and
the most sexually liberated in the world.

When should I book a flight ?

- What do you have in his pocket ?
- What?

- The ? I bought it at CC Mat.
You think I was born yesterday or something? Sambo !

This is bullshit !

Hey , hey , hey ! What 's going on?
He's the type here is completely Ku Klux Klan !

- Watch your mouth ! Nigger !
- Calm down !

Or should I make a phone call to your girlfriend ?
I know what happened -

- The handicap shithouse at the Flamingo for the weekend.
You and wardrobe mistress . And dob?rste .

Right.
Enjoy the soda , then.

Damn , for a turnip !

- If you have movie night ?
- A little guilty pleasure : " Dirty Dancing " .

The - I have not seen in a while .
- Then go with you .

- Yes. It's a classic.
That's it .

Think you've saved me again, Torgi .
My name Torgeir , not Torgi .

Torgi , Torgar ...
A few names you Norwegians .

- I call you Toro instead. Toro !
- Toro ? As the soup ?

Not soup. Italiano.
In Italian means il toro bull.

It suits you the .
You're just as tough and fearless as a bull.

What ... What did you do now?
Ops ! I ... I misunderstood .

Are you completely out , or what?

I ... only got like vibe .

The vibes
did you at least not from me !

Can not read or what?

And ... There is an Indian guy.

- Fix a new identity for him.
- You want me to do what ?

Call him and tell
what to say at border control.

It's a very serious crime .
What do you mean ?

I can always shut the reception
and solve the problem using pay.

No, no . I'll see what I can do.

Hey ! Agent Smith ! Agent Smith !

If you ...
Are you questioning by Scotland Yard?

What do you mean by that?
What would they do to you ?

The ... No. Why do you ask ?
You'll have to just ...

You get
talk to my lawyer about it.

Now get in the fucking car!

Guys , come and see.
He baby swim guy .

Let's see .

I Boffa
Surveillance tape from the swimming pool .

- Madonna mia !
- Look at him !

Infamy !
I've seen enough !

Oi ! Where did you get it?

I guess I'm just a dad who likes
to bring something home from business trips.

It is Superfine .
See ! Oi ! It is perfect .

- Okay, then I'll go .
- You do not want a cup of tea or ...?

No, no . I will not
destroy your tea party . We'll see .

Say goodbye to Dad, then.
Bye, Daddy! Cheers!

You have been so good at waving .
Let's see what Dad has taken ?

No ? What is this? Huh ?

What is this all about?

Is that bra I gave you for your birthday ?
- It is well .

Oh my god ...

Practice makes perfect , Balotelli .
Great !

Excuse me , ma'am ? Will you get me some
paper handkerchiefs and some Darjeeling tea ?

- What is your name ?
It's so far. It's in the passport.

Where are you from ?
Afghanistan .

Where in Afghanistan?
The accent is a bit weird.

You know ... Where all the mountains are.

In point of FGM
just tick " yes " . Or " no".

Jan! I need to talk to you!

What sort of thing
with he new from the " Afghanistan " ?

What do you mean ?
The police checked the papers . That's all right.

It was suddenly very fine
when you had made ??contact with them .

The guy there ...
He is a fortune hunter from India.

This pass we found a week ago .
It is the picture that is different.

Johnny asked for help with a guy .
An Indian guy who absolutely wanted to Norway .

What is the problem ?
We give a poor man a second chance.

It's a word for that.
- Philanthropy .

- Trafficking !
- No! Randi ! Come on, then.

What makes you think that
I'm going to shut up about it here ?

If you do , I might
have to rise the cute little butt yours.

- Is this who I think it is?
You remember Gareth ?

Yes, Gareth .
Welcome to paradise.

Have been here for 5 minutes and already
hacked in Road Administration Server.

He will help us
with camera - jam .

So you know how to do that ?

I hacked into the Pentagon in
Before I got my first pubic hair.

- Cocky guy, huh?
- Yes ! He is a stick . He is ... very clever.

- Look at us .
- Garry checking -

- That nobody has downloaded it from the server ,
so if we delete it now, we save.

Please wait ... I got an idea.
You know he's swimming Pervert ?

Yes , you mean ... he here ?

Yes. Can you get it to look like
that it is he who drives the car ?

- Of course . I could clear it in 95
-I'm going to like the boy.

And how about a beer can in his hand ?
- A can of beer should be .

Terrific . Gorgeous .

Oh fuck ...

Where am I?
Nigeria.

Sir ? It's for you .

Hello?

Hey , buddy !
Happy with your trip?

What ... What is this?

I was so inspired by
the war simulation course , so I thought -

- If you want to send my husband to Nigeria ,
then you can check the conditions first.

What do you think police say
when I tell them what you 've done?

When a negligible nightclub owner can put
you in a box and send you to Africa -

- You should ask yourself
whether to continue to fuck with him .

Another scenario :

You work and shut up , Balotelli
will be here , and I get you home safely .

Okay, I'll cooperate.

Bra.

I need more onions! Come on !

- How are you?
- Nice to see you.

- Did I lie about the food ?
No, you did not .

Now, my girl ?

Who do we have here ? Nice tan.
- Thank you.

-Here's the paperwork to your friend.
- Good boy .

I just have to ask you something :
Why him ?

Try the meatballs .

Okay . Just so I understand this ...
You drugged me down , send me to Africa.

- Just because of a few meatballs ?
They're something for themselves .

We have a full house !
How's the ...?

Hey ! What are you doing?
- Taking ketchup on pasta .

Have you lost your mind ?
It is not hamburger.

Would you have drawn mustache on the " Mona Lisa" ?
Do not answer that!

These Norwegians ... They are still
Vikings, but without the silly helmets .

- Is it good or what?
Yeah , just needed air.

You , uh ... It is one thing
I intend to ask you , my brother .

Have you ever
had like erotic fantasies ...

If someone who is not ... not women ?

Animals and shit , like?

No.
So people, just not lady.

Not ... Are you sick in your head , right?
Of course I have not!

Who are you doing and dreams ?
- I do not have that kind of dream .

Why ask and dig like that then?
It's just ... smalltalk .

Then you should work with the smalltalk -
your abilities , because they suck limb !

Au . Holy shit . Ah .

- Bend your right .
-Ok .

And left .
- Oh, holy shit .

- Have been so damn tense in the past.
- We will manage to arrange.

- Lie down on your stomach while .
- Yes.

Hello dealership .

It is time that we take a little chat
what has happened to my brother.

I know nothing.

I have heard that acupuncture is
very good for memory.

What the hell happened to my brother? !

Ok! Ok! I 'll tell you that!

Yes, that can happen when you forget
to close the gate to the cows .

But from a criminal
a crime writer.

For Oppland is about
to get their own Jo Nesb? .

- Welcome here, Laila Hovland .
- Thank you.

The reviewer suggests that the police chief in the book
has similarities with the boss, Arve ?stli .

What do you say to that?
No, what is it they always say ?

At any comparison with living
and dead persons are a coincidence .

But you can not deny that the current
Police management gets pretty rough treatment ?

- Chief ?
- I am a little busy now .

- This is the time .
- Really?

No, but Joss name ...

" Threats and violence ,
urinating in public places , armed robbery. "

Siler they their agents over there?

- I think we are talking about a cheat , boss.
- Well, well, you say that?

Oi ...

Thank you for how you took my food .

And an especially big thank you
the man who made this possible.

Don Giovanni, this song 's for you.

Listen to him . The boy's soul.

Yes, he has soul.

Shut up, you fucking black call !

What the hell ...? !

Dear nephew ! It happened
something wonderful here in the cold north .

I finally have some friends.

They do not like blacks,
and certainly not gays .

But they can not help it :
They love Balotelli .