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1
00:00:39,567 --> 00:00:43,467
SONYA BARKER-FINCH.
2
00:00:47,033 --> 00:00:50,100
HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU
GOING TO SLEEP, DEAR?
3
00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:54,933
PROBABLY NOT A LOT,
I SUSPECT.
4
00:00:54,968 --> 00:00:58,267
I HAVEN'T SLEPT A WINK.
- I HEARD YOU SNORING.
5
00:00:58,302 --> 00:01:01,065
I'VE HAD A NIGHT
OF MENTAL ANGUISH.
6
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:04,734
DIDN'T SOUND LIKE
MENTALLY ANGUISHED SNORING.
7
00:01:04,769 --> 00:01:06,799
YOU KNOW ME, RICHARD.
8
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:10,200
I HAVEN'T A SNOBBISH BONE IN MY BODY.
9
00:01:10,235 --> 00:01:12,199
BUT I DO FIND IT
IRRITATING
10
00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:14,567
THAT THOSE BARKER-FINCHES AT NUMBER 23
11
00:01:14,602 --> 00:01:17,684
TO THEIR BARBECUE.
12
00:01:17,719 --> 00:01:20,732
THE DOUGLAS
WHAT?
13
00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:23,834
CHATER! THEY HAD HIM AT THEIR BARBECUE.
14
00:01:23,869 --> 00:01:26,735
WHAT DID HE
TASTE LIKE?
15
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:29,566
NOW DON'T
BE SILLY, DEAR.
16
00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:32,033
THEY HAD HIM AT THEIR
BARBECUE, AND OF COURSE,
17
00:01:32,068 --> 00:01:34,734
SHE CAN'T STOP
TELLING EVERYBODY.
18
00:01:34,769 --> 00:01:37,365
I CANNOT ABIDE PEOPLE
WHO RUN AROUND
19
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,400
MAKING A MEAL OUT OF THEIR
LITTLE SOCIAL TRIUMPHS.
20
00:01:54,033 --> 00:01:57,834
WHERE WERE YOU LAST
NIGHT, ONSLOW? ANSWER ME.
21
00:01:57,869 --> 00:01:59,965
I'M SORRY, DAISE,
I CAN'T TALK
22
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,667
OWING TO THE FACT THAT
SOME FOOL KEEPS PRODDING ME.
23
00:02:03,702 --> 00:02:05,732
I'MPRODDING YOU.
24
00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:09,701
I WANT TO KNOW, WHY HAVE YOU
STARTED STAYING OUT SO LATE?
25
00:02:09,736 --> 00:02:11,868
LOOK AT ME,
ONSLOW.
26
00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:17,767
STRAIGHT
IN THE EYES.
27
00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:20,767
WHERE WERE YOU
LAST NIGHT?
28
00:02:20,802 --> 00:02:23,032
I WAS HERE-
IN BED.
29
00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:25,232
NOT WHEN I WENT
TO SLEEP, YOU WEREN'T.
30
00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:28,133
OH, NICE. YOU WERE SO
WORRIED, YOU WENT TO SLEEP.
31
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:34,767
IT WAS EXHAUSTION
CAUSED BY ANXIETY-
32
00:02:34,802 --> 00:02:36,566
MENTAL EXHAUSTION.
33
00:02:36,601 --> 00:02:39,534
I WAS GOING MAD WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE.
34
00:02:39,569 --> 00:02:42,165
HOW'S YOUR FATHER
THIS MORNING?
35
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,567
DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!
36
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,400
...IDEAS
ABOVE THEIR STATION.
37
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,801
SONYA BARKER-FINCH.
38
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,601
HER CONVERSATION COULD HARDLY
HAVE BEEN STIMULATING.
39
00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:02,100
MUST HAVE ENDED UP WITH
A BARBECUED BRAIN.
40
00:03:02,135 --> 00:03:04,868
THEDOUGLAS CHATER?
41
00:03:04,903 --> 00:03:07,485
GOOD HEAVENS, RICHARD!
42
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,510
THEDOUGLAS CHATER?
43
00:03:10,545 --> 00:03:13,466
ALL MORNING, FROM YOU.
44
00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:16,634
HE ONLY HAPPENS TO BE
"CHATER'S BUILDING SUPPLIES."
45
00:03:16,669 --> 00:03:20,432
OH, HE SELLS CEMENT.
46
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,868
ONE OF OUR LEADING
BUILDERS' MERCHANTS.
47
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,634
WHAT'S THIS
IN MY DISH?
48
00:03:25,669 --> 00:03:27,165
HMM?
49
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,868
THAT'S AN EXCLUSIVE EUROPEAN
HIGH-FIBER BREAKFAST CEREAL.
50
00:03:30,903 --> 00:03:35,168
"THEDOUGLAS CHATER."
51
00:03:35,203 --> 00:03:39,434
IF EVER I SAW ONE.
52
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,332
NOW-
53
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:45,333
RICHARD, STOP PLAYING
WITH IT, DEAR, AND EAT IT.
54
00:03:45,368 --> 00:03:48,534
WHY CAN'T I HAVE
MY USUAL CORN FLAKES?
55
00:03:48,569 --> 00:03:51,701
THIS IS NOT A CORN FLAKE
ESTABLISHMENT.
56
00:03:51,736 --> 00:03:55,299
HUMPH-
IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
57
00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:58,700
PERHAPS, IN THE DAYS BEFORE
THIS EXCLUSIVE EUROPEAN
58
00:03:58,735 --> 00:04:02,101
HIGH-FIBER BREAKFAST
CEREAL WAS MADE AVAILABLE.
59
00:04:02,136 --> 00:04:05,467
NOW IT'S VERY NUTRITIOUS
AND HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
60
00:04:05,502 --> 00:04:08,767
BY WHOM?
- THE DUTCH ROYAL FAMILY.
61
00:04:10,634 --> 00:04:13,732
THE DUTCH ROYAL FAMILY?
62
00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:15,734
THERE'S A CREST
ON THE PACKET.
63
00:04:15,769 --> 00:04:17,899
OH, HYACINTH!
64
00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:20,666
I WISH YOU'D STOP
BUYING THINGS
65
00:04:20,701 --> 00:04:22,799
BECAUSE THERE'S
A CREST ON THE PACK-
66
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:26,234
SO IN FUTURE, WHEN PEOPLE ASK
WHAT YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST
67
00:04:26,269 --> 00:04:27,732
DON'T SAY CORN FLAKES.
68
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,666
TELL THEM,
QUITE TRUTHFULLY,
69
00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:32,067
THAT YOU EAT
AN EXCLUSIVE EUROPEAN
70
00:04:32,102 --> 00:04:34,951
HIGH-FIBER
BREAKFAST CEREAL.
71
00:04:34,986 --> 00:04:37,801
"WITH A CREST
ON THE PACKET."
72
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:46,265
I WAS WITH A COUPLE
OF THE LADS.
73
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,900
TILL WHAT TIME?
- I DON'T KNOW, WE GOT TALKING.
74
00:04:48,935 --> 00:04:51,501
YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
WHEN YOU GET WITH THE LADS.
75
00:04:51,536 --> 00:04:54,132
WITH THE LADS.
76
00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:56,868
YOU BECOME A MENACE
TO THE FEMALE SEX.
77
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,267
DAISY, THAT WAS
20 YEARS AGO.
78
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:09,601
I ADMIT I USED TO BE A BIT OF
A MENACE WITH THE FEMALE SEX,
79
00:05:09,636 --> 00:05:11,065
I WAS DYNAMITE.
80
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:14,868
WAS AN OWNER'S MANUAL.
81
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,833
BUT I'M RETIRED
THESE DAYS.
82
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:23,434
I WISH I COULD BE SURE.
YOU'RE SO ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN.
83
00:05:27,434 --> 00:05:30,400
I'M WORK-SHY, BONE IDLE,
AND OUT OF CONDITION.
84
00:05:30,435 --> 00:05:33,367
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I'M ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN?
85
00:05:33,402 --> 00:05:35,968
I MARRIED YOU,
DIDN'T I?
86
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,632
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.
87
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:41,100
YOU WERE STILL BONE IDLE,
WORK-SHY AND OUT OF CONDITION.
88
00:05:41,135 --> 00:05:44,567
OH, YEAH.
BUT I WAS BETTER DRESSED.
89
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:55,132
ELIZABETH?
90
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:58,133
IT'S NOT THAT I'M THE SLIGHTEST
BIT INTERESTED, OF COURSE,
91
00:05:58,168 --> 00:06:01,367
BUT, DID YOU BY ANY CHANCE
GET TO THAT BARBECUE?
92
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,599
BARBECUE?
- MMM.
93
00:06:03,634 --> 00:06:05,833
DO YOU KNOW IT'S
THE STRANGEST THING,
94
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:08,033
I NEVER SPILL ANYTHING
AT A BARBECUE.
95
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:11,365
REALLY?
- WHICH BARBECUE?
96
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,467
THOSE BARKER-FINCHES
AT NUMBER 23.
97
00:06:14,502 --> 00:06:16,332
NO, NO, NO,
I DIDN'T GO.
98
00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:19,901
CLEARLY, THE BEST PEOPLE WEREN'T INVITED.
99
00:06:19,936 --> 00:06:23,801
THEDOUGLAS CHATER.
100
00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:31,833
I'M SURPRISED HE WASN'T FAR TOO BUSY
101
00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:35,365
SUPPLYING MATERIALS
TO BUILD EXECUTIVE HOMES.
102
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:40,701
ANYWAY, I THINK BARBECUES
ARE RATHER PASSE� THESE DAYS.
103
00:06:40,736 --> 00:06:42,965
OH-HH!
104
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,767
OH, HYACINTH,
I'M SO SORRY!
105
00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:52,601
HAVE YOU RUINED YOUR DRESS?
- NO, NO, NO.
106
00:06:52,636 --> 00:06:54,833
OH, I SEE,
JUST MY TABLE.
107
00:06:54,868 --> 00:06:59,601
I'VE GOT TO ANSWER
THE PHONE.
108
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,567
"BOUQUET" RESIDENCE,
THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING.
109
00:07:07,602 --> 00:07:11,200
OH, IT'S YOU, DAISY.
HOW ARE YOU, DEAR?
110
00:07:11,235 --> 00:07:13,899
IT'S MY SISTER DAISY.
111
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,267
SHE'S NOT THE ONE WITH THE
SWIMMING POOL OR THE MERCEDES.
112
00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:18,601
AND THERE'S CERTAINLY
NO ROOM FOR A PONY.
113
00:07:20,133 --> 00:07:22,965
YOU'RE NOT RINGING ME
TO BREAK BAD NEWS ABOUT DADDY?
114
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,200
I'D DIE IF ANYTHING HAPPENED
TO THAT NOBLE OLD MAN. MMM.
115
00:07:27,235 --> 00:07:30,918
HE'S FINE? ARE YOU SURE?
YOU'RE NOT SHIELDING ME?
116
00:07:30,953 --> 00:07:34,566
WELL, MAKE SURE, WILL YOU?
YOU KNOW HOW I WORRY.
117
00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:38,300
I'D HAVE HIM HERE IF HE DIDN'T
MAKE THOSE FUNNY NOISES.
118
00:07:39,968 --> 00:07:43,833
NOW?
119
00:07:43,868 --> 00:07:46,267
AND GIVE HIM MY LOVE.
120
00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:51,332
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT TABLE, ELIZABETH.
121
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:54,834
I'M SURE IT'S NOT BEYOND THE BOUNDS
OF WESTERN TECHNOLOGY TO RESURFACE IT.
122
00:07:57,901 --> 00:08:00,834
WHY DON'T YOU TRY A
LITTLE YOGA, ELIZABETH?
123
00:08:00,869 --> 00:08:02,933
CALM YOUR NERVES.
124
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:05,801
EVERYWHERE ELSE, HYACINTH,
MY NERVES ARE FINE.
125
00:08:05,836 --> 00:08:08,065
IT'S JUST IN THIS HOUSE
I GO TO PIECES.
126
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,383
DADDY DOES YOGA, AND LOOK
HOW FIT HE IS FOR HIS AGE.
127
00:08:11,418 --> 00:08:14,667
PRONOUNCED "TOO HOT TO
HANDLE" BY THE OVER-60s.
128
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:19,200
I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE, ELIZABETH.
129
00:08:24,701 --> 00:08:27,534
OH! OH-HH!
130
00:08:29,534 --> 00:08:31,532
TROUBLE, LIZ?
131
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:34,165
OH, RICHARD,
I'M SO SORRY.
132
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,567
FOR SOME REASON I GO
TO PIECES IN THIS HOUSE.
133
00:08:36,602 --> 00:08:39,265
YOU TOO?
134
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:41,866
IS THAT YOU,
RICHARD?
135
00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:44,017
HOW QUICK
YOU'VE BEEN, DEAR.
136
00:08:44,052 --> 00:08:46,098
CLEARLY FEELING
THE BENEFITS
137
00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:48,400
OF SHARING A BREAKFAST HABIT
WITH THE DUTCH ROYAL FAMILY.
138
00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:53,165
TELL ELIZABETH HOW MUCH
YOU'RE ENJOYING
139
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:57,634
YOUR EXCLUSIVE EUROPEAN
HIGH-FIBER BREAKFAST CEREAL.
140
00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:00,868
YES, DAISY,
I'M HERE.
141
00:09:00,903 --> 00:09:02,935
DADDY IS WHERE?
142
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,933
ON THE ROOF?
143
00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:07,299
WELL GET HIM
DOWN, DEAR.
144
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:10,467
YES, I KN
- IT'S ABSOLUTELY SPLENDID OF HIM
145
00:09:10,502 --> 00:09:12,934
TO BE SO AGILE
AS TO GET ON THE ROOF.
146
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,067
BUT WHY IS HE
ON THE ROOF?
147
00:09:15,102 --> 00:09:17,732
FIRE WATCHING?
148
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:20,766
HE THINKS
THERE'S A RAID ON?
149
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:23,851
WHAT A WONDERFUL
SENSE OF DUTY DADDY HAS.
150
00:09:23,886 --> 00:09:26,901
IT'S THAT SPIRIT THAT MADE
THIS ISLAND GREAT.
151
00:09:26,936 --> 00:09:28,866
MMM-HMM.
BUT GET HIM DOWN, DAISY.
152
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:32,601
YES. SOUND THE "ALL-CLEAR"
OR SOMETHING, WILL YOU?
153
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:36,701
YOU WANT MY ADVICE
ABOUT WHAT?
154
00:09:36,736 --> 00:09:40,165
ONSLOW?
155
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,566
WELL, YOU'VE NEVER
TAKEN IT BEFORE.
156
00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:47,332
WOULD I BE SURPRISED
IF ONSLOW HAD ANOTHER WOMAN?
157
00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:50,801
MY DEAR GIRL, I WAS SURPRISED
HE GOT ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
158
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:58,267
HE'S ALWAYS HAD THIS
MASSIVE APPEAL FOR WOMEN.
159
00:09:58,302 --> 00:10:03,234
HE EXUDES A RAW,
SENSUAL MAGNETISM.
160
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:08,399
WHERE'S MY BOTTLE
OPENER?
161
00:10:08,434 --> 00:10:10,667
THAT COULD HAVE BEEN HIM
WITH VIVIAN LEIGH
162
00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:12,632
IN "STREETCAR
NAMED DESIRE."
163
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:16,501
AND NOW HE'S STARTED
STOPPING OUT LATE AT NIGHTS.
164
00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:18,585
AND LOOKING
AT HIM FROM HERE,
165
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,744
HE LOOKS TO ME
LIKE SOMEBODY
166
00:10:20,779 --> 00:10:23,190
WHO'S UP TO HIS
DESIGNER STUBBLE
167
00:10:23,225 --> 00:10:25,566
IN STOLEN MOMENTS
OF ILLICIT LOVE.
168
00:10:25,601 --> 00:10:29,232
I SAID, HAVE YOU
SEEN MY BOTTLE OPENER?
169
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:32,850
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
HANDLE IT, OUR HYACINTH.
170
00:10:32,885 --> 00:10:36,434
MAYBE IF YOU SPOKE TO HIM?
HE'D LISTEN TO YOU.
171
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,399
WELL, MAYBE HE WOULDN'T
LISTEN TO YOU,
172
00:10:38,434 --> 00:10:41,167
BUT IF YOU BACKED HIM INTO
A CORNER, I'M SURE HE WOULD.
173
00:10:41,202 --> 00:10:44,001
I COULD
BRING HIM OVER.
174
00:10:44,036 --> 00:10:46,801
DON'T SHOUT, HYACINTH!
175
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:51,534
ALL RIGHT,
I WON'T BRING HIM OVER!
176
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,434
WE'LL ARRANGE
SOMETHING ELSE.
177
00:10:55,469 --> 00:10:58,567
YOU'LL RING ME?
PROMISE?
178
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:02,432
FATHER'S STILL
ON THE ROOF.
179
00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:05,333
DON'T TELL ME, I'VE GOT MY OWN TROUBLES.
180
00:11:05,368 --> 00:11:08,118
ONSLOW, FATHER'S
ON THE ROOF AGAIN.
181
00:11:08,153 --> 00:11:11,210
ASK HIM IF HE'S GOT
MY BOTTLE OPENER.
182
00:11:11,245 --> 00:11:14,232
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR IT 'ROUND YOUR NECK?
183
00:11:14,267 --> 00:11:18,000
AND LOOK LIKE SOME BIG
"SILLY DORIS" WITH A DANGLER?
184
00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:21,834
I THINK HE'S GOT
ANOTHER WOMAN.
185
00:11:21,869 --> 00:11:25,267
HIS BOTTLE OPENER.
186
00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:29,199
DON'T WORRY, LIZ,
IT LOOKS FINE.
187
00:11:29,234 --> 00:11:33,234
I THINK IT LOOKS ALL RIGHT,
BUT YOU JUST DON'T KNOW.
188
00:11:33,269 --> 00:11:36,134
I DON'T KNOW WHY I GET SO NERVOUS IN HERE.
189
00:11:36,169 --> 00:11:38,965
IT HAPPENS TO LOTS OF PEOPLE, BELIEVE ME.
190
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,532
WELL, LOOK, I REALLY OUGHT
TO BE GOING BACK HOME.
191
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:45,400
DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE
PERMISSIBLE FOR ME TO SNEAK AWAY?
192
00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:48,434
WHY NOT?
I OFTEN DO.
193
00:11:49,934 --> 00:11:52,834
I'LL JUST GO OUT
THE BACK WAY.
194
00:11:54,734 --> 00:11:57,284
WILL YOU MAKE MY EXCUSES TO HYACINTH?
195
00:11:57,319 --> 00:11:59,834
OH, EASILY. SHE NEVER LISTENS ANYWAY.
196
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:08,098
ELIZABETH GONE?
- YES.
197
00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:10,965
I HOPE SHE WASN'T
WORRIED ABOUT MY TABLE.
198
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,667
SHE KNOWS I NEVER MAKE
A FUSS ABOUT MY THINGS.
199
00:12:17,734 --> 00:12:19,666
THAT WAS DAISY
ON THE PHONE, DEAR.
200
00:12:19,701 --> 00:12:22,901
SHE THINKS THAT ONSLOW'S
GOT ANOTHER WOMAN.
201
00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,868
ONSLOW?
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
202
00:12:25,903 --> 00:12:28,766
HE COULDN'T
AFFORD ONE.
203
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:31,666
NOW IF IT WAS
OLD C. P.- - HMM?
204
00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:35,834
C.P. BENEDICT. I MET
HIM PASSING THE LIBRARY.
205
00:12:35,869 --> 00:12:38,199
THEC.P. BENEDICT?
206
00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:40,884
HE'S JUST
C. P. BENEDICT.
207
00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:43,499
THE GARDEN CENTER KING?
208
00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:45,232
HE RUNS
A GARDEN CENTER, YES.
209
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:48,133
BUT HASN'T HE BEEN ON TELEVISION,
DEAR, IN THAT GARDENING PROGRAM?
210
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,751
I THINK
HE HAS BEEN.
211
00:12:50,786 --> 00:12:53,299
RICHARD!
212
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:56,200
FANCY YOU KNOWING
C.P. BENEDICT.
213
00:12:57,934 --> 00:13:00,334
MIND THE EGGS!
214
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:05,367
OTHERWOMAN.
215
00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:08,567
SHORT-SIGHTED.
216
00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:13,866
I BET SHE'S
CHEAP AND COMMON.
217
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:16,501
HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW THEY
ALL GO FOR CHEAP AND COMMON?
218
00:13:16,536 --> 00:13:18,332
DON'T KNOCK IT.
219
00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:21,601
I'VE HAD SOME OF MY BEST
MOMENTS BEING CHEAP AND COMMON.
220
00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:25,199
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK GUILTY, ONSLOW.
221
00:13:25,234 --> 00:13:29,367
I KEEP TELLING YOU
THERE IS NO OTHER WOMAN.
222
00:13:29,402 --> 00:13:32,418
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL
TO YOU...
223
00:13:32,453 --> 00:13:35,527
AND ABOUT THREE
LEADING JOCKEYS.
224
00:13:35,562 --> 00:13:38,566
FAITHFUL? MEN CAN'T BE FAITHFUL.
225
00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:41,566
THEY HAVEN'T GOT
THE NECESSARY GENES.
226
00:13:41,601 --> 00:13:45,334
CAN YOU SEE ME GETTING
DRESSED UP FOR OTHER WOMEN?
227
00:13:45,369 --> 00:13:47,834
I'D HAVE TO SHAVE,
FOR A START.
228
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,265
DON'T LISTEN
TO HIM, DAISE.
229
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,599
THEY DON'T ALWAYS
SHAVE FOR OTHER WOMEN.
230
00:13:52,634 --> 00:13:56,701
I'VE HAD "BARBER'S RASH" MORE
THAN ONCE, I CAN TELL YOU.
231
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,868
WELL THAT'S IT,
THEN.
232
00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:03,000
IF HE'S GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER WOMAN,
233
00:14:03,035 --> 00:14:05,667
I'M GOING TO HAVE
ANOTHER MAN.
234
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,467
CAN YOU GET SOMEBODY THAT
CAN DO A FEW JOBS ROUND HERE?
235
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,701
I'M SICK OF LIVING
IN SQUALOR.
236
00:14:14,736 --> 00:14:17,501
I HATE HIM.
237
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,634
WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ME THAT YOU KNEW
238
00:14:21,669 --> 00:14:24,165
THEC.P. BENEDICT?
239
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,000
HE'S JUST A MAN WITH A GARDEN
CENTER WHO'S BEEN ON TELEVISION.
240
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,784
HE'S NOT THE AGA KHAN.
- HE'S A CELEBRITY, DEAR.
241
00:14:30,819 --> 00:14:33,534
AND I'M SURE HE'S A
MUCH BETTER SOCIAL CATCH
242
00:14:33,569 --> 00:14:36,334
THAN BORING OLD
DOUGLAS CHATER,
243
00:14:36,369 --> 00:14:38,818
WHO'S MERELY
IN BUILDING SUPPLIES.
244
00:14:38,853 --> 00:14:41,443
WATCH OUT FOR
THE LORRY, DEAR.
245
00:14:41,478 --> 00:14:43,998
IT'S STATIONARY,
IT'S NOT MOVING.
246
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:47,667
I ALWAYS THINK THEY'RE MORE
WORRYING WHEN THEY'RE NOT MOVING.
247
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:08,699
HE'S ONLY A CASUAL
ACQUAINTANCE, REALLY.
248
00:15:08,734 --> 00:15:12,400
BUT THAT'S QUITE SUFFICIENT TO
ISSUE THE MAN A FRIENDLY INVITATION.
249
00:15:12,435 --> 00:15:16,000
HE'S JUST SOMEBODY I
SOMETIMES MEET WALKING HIS DOG.
250
00:15:16,035 --> 00:15:19,767
OH, YOU'VE MET THE DOG
AS WELL! OH, RICHARD!
251
00:15:19,802 --> 00:15:21,532
HYACINTH-
252
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:23,734
I DON'T SEE HOW WE CAN
JUST WALTZ UP TO THE MAN
253
00:15:23,769 --> 00:15:25,699
AND INVITE HIM
TO A BARBECUE.
254
00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:29,200
NO, DEAR, YOU MAY REST
ASSURED THAT YOUR FRIEND-
255
00:15:29,235 --> 00:15:30,799
HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!
256
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:33,467
...WILL BE INVITED TO
SOMETHING FAR MORE ELEGANT
257
00:15:33,502 --> 00:15:35,501
THAN A COMMON OLD
GARDEN BARBECUE.
258
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:39,866
FOR MY SUMMER
ENTERTAINING,
259
00:15:39,901 --> 00:15:44,334
I INTEND TO BRING
THE OUTDOORS... INDOORS.
260
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:53,100
WHAT A PITY
HE WASN'T IN.
261
00:15:56,701 --> 00:15:58,632
YOU MUST
FIND HIM, DEAR.
262
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,434
I DARE SAY YOU'LL CATCH HIM
AT ONE OF HIS REGULAR HAUNTS.
263
00:16:01,469 --> 00:16:03,532
SUCH ASWHERE?
264
00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:05,834
HE'S YOUR FRIEND, RICHARD,
YOU SHOULD KNOW WHERE HE GOES.
265
00:16:05,869 --> 00:16:08,601
I TOLD YOU,
HE'S JUST AN ACQUAINTANCE.
266
00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:11,033
MIND THE TREE,
DEAR.
267
00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:14,701
INSIDE?
268
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:20,365
RICHARD, DO STOP
SOUNDING PETULANT.
269
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,701
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
SOUNDING SO PETULANT,
270
00:16:22,736 --> 00:16:25,132
THIS IS A GREAT
DAY FOR ME.
271
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:30,200
I HAVE INVENTED THE
OUTDOORS-INDOORS LUXURY BARBECUE.
272
00:16:31,434 --> 00:16:33,133
I JUST WISH THAT
THERE WASN'T SO MUCH
273
00:16:33,168 --> 00:16:36,732
HERE.
274
00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:41,067
LOOK, DEAR, WHEN I INVITE
THE GARDEN CENTER KING
275
00:16:41,102 --> 00:16:43,667
TO MY OUTDOORS-INDOORS
LUXURY BARBECUE,
276
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:46,200
I WANT HIM
TO FEEL AT HOME.
277
00:16:46,235 --> 00:16:49,234
HE IS
A PLANT LOVER.
278
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:54,000
MIND THE HOLE
IN THE ROAD, DEAR.
279
00:16:54,035 --> 00:16:55,466
WHAT ROAD?
280
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:58,667
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
THAT I CAN SEE THE ROAD?
281
00:17:02,033 --> 00:17:04,365
LIZ,
A MOBILE GARDEN
282
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,132
HAS JUST PARKED
IN HYACINTH'S DRIVE.
283
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:10,634
A MOBILE GARDEN?
- A GOOD IMITATION, ANYWAY.
284
00:17:10,669 --> 00:17:12,866
GOOD HEAVENS!
285
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:15,301
YOU HEAR ABOUT
"THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT,"
286
00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,835
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
IT'S PARKED OUTSIDE.
287
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,334
I THINK RICHARD'S
UNDER THAT LOT SOMEWHERE.
288
00:17:20,369 --> 00:17:22,065
WITH HYACINTH?
289
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,467
NO, NO, SHE ESCAPED,
SHE WENT INDOORS.
290
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,998
INSTEAD OF GIGGLING YOU MIGHT
GO AND GIVE RICHARD A HAND.
291
00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:32,901
I WOULDN'T WALK INTO A JUNGLE LIKE
THAT WITHOUT A MAP AND A COMPASS.
292
00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:38,750
* WE PLOUGH
THE FIELDS AND... *
293
00:17:38,785 --> 00:17:43,234
DO MIND MY WALLPAPER,
RICHARD.
294
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:48,666
HELLO, IS THAT
THE VICAR?
295
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:52,133
HOW ARE YOU, VICAR?
THIS IS HYACINTH "BOUQUET."
296
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,766
ARE YOU THERE?
297
00:17:55,801 --> 00:17:59,868
WELL, I THOUGHT I HEARD
A LITTLE CRY OF PAIN.
298
00:17:59,903 --> 00:18:03,101
I DO BELIEVE THE VICAR'S
IN PAIN, DEAR.
299
00:18:03,136 --> 00:18:06,265
AT LEAST HE'S NOT
COVERED IN GREENFLY.
300
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,367
NOW IF YOU'RE IN DISTRESS,
I'LL COME 'ROUND IMMEDIATELY.
301
00:18:10,402 --> 00:18:13,065
HELLO? HELLO?
302
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:17,065
ARE YOU TH-
303
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,801
LOOK, I WAS SPEAKING TO
THE VICAR. WHO IS THIS?
304
00:18:20,836 --> 00:18:23,299
OH, THE VICAR'S WIFE.
305
00:18:23,334 --> 00:18:27,234
HOW ARE YOU DEAR?
IT'S HYACINTH "BOUQUET," YES.
306
00:18:27,269 --> 00:18:30,165
I WAS SPEAKING
WITH YOUR HUSBAND.
307
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,000
I SEE, HE HAD TO LEAVE
IN RATHER A HURRY.
308
00:18:33,035 --> 00:18:36,132
OH, RICHARD!
309
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:38,501
WELL, YES, OF COURSE,
I'M SURE YOU DO, DEAR.
310
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:41,532
IT'S NOT THEOLOGICAL.
311
00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:45,000
WELL, I'M JUST CALLING
TO INVITE YOURSELF
312
00:18:45,035 --> 00:18:46,965
AND YOUR HUSBAND
THE VICAR
313
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,467
TO MY OUTDOORS-INDOORS
LUXURY BARBECUE
314
00:18:50,502 --> 00:18:53,265
WITH FINGER BUFFET.
315
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,117
OH, YES,
YOU MUST COME, DEAR.
316
00:18:56,152 --> 00:18:58,934
WE'RE HAVING
C.P. BENEDICT.
317
00:18:59,968 --> 00:19:02,300
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"HOT OR COLD?"
318
00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:06,032
THEC.P. BENEDICT-
319
00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:10,234
THE GARDEN CENTER KING
WHO'S BEEN ON TELEVISION.
320
00:19:10,269 --> 00:19:12,532
WE'VE NOT EVEN
ASKED HIM YET.
321
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:15,667
I WILL, AS SOON AS YOU
FIND OUT WHERE HE MIGHT BE.
322
00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:22,499
YOU'VE GOT
TO MAKE HIM REALIZE
323
00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:24,534
THAT YOU'RE STILL
ATTRACTIVE TO MEN.
324
00:19:24,569 --> 00:19:26,466
IF I GET DONE UP,
325
00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,734
DO YOU THINK I WILL STILL
BE ATTRACTIVE TO MEN?
326
00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:30,699
OH, YOU CAN'T
GO WRONG.
327
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,968
IT'S BEEN MY EXPERIENCE
THEY'LL GO FOR ANYTHING.
328
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,566
THANKS.
329
00:19:35,601 --> 00:19:38,734
JUST PUT YOURSELF
IN MY HANDS, OUR DAISE,
330
00:19:38,769 --> 00:19:41,766
AND I'LL
TRANSFORM YOU.
331
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:45,267
WHAT YOU NEED IS A LITTLE
BIT OF INNER CONFIDENCE
332
00:19:45,302 --> 00:19:47,234
AND A LOT OF FLASH GEAR.
333
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,965
AND THEN WHAT?
334
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,367
I DON'T THINK
I KNOW ANY MEN.
335
00:19:52,801 --> 00:19:54,701
WHAT ABOUT
MR. PATTERSON?
336
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,685
HE WAS DEAD KEEN
ON YOU.
337
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,634
HE WAS
A DIRTY OLD MAN.
338
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:04,934
JUST THINK OF HIM
AS "YESTERDAY'S TOY BOY."
339
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:07,501
YESTERDAY.
340
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,933
ARE YOU SURE YOUR CONTACT GOT IT RIGHT?
341
00:20:11,968 --> 00:20:15,133
HE SAID THAT C.P. ALWAYS COMES
IN SHORTLY BEFORE THEY CLOSE.
342
00:20:15,168 --> 00:20:17,766
SO WHY DON'T WE WAIT
OUTSIDE UNTIL HE ARRIVES?
343
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:20,950
NO, NO, NO. IT HAS TO LOOK
LIKE A CASUAL ENCOUNTER.
344
00:20:20,985 --> 00:20:24,100
I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK
WE'RE THE KIND OF PEOPLE
345
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,365
WHO LIE IN WAIT
FOR PEOPLE.
346
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:30,400
NO, IT HAS TO LOOK AS THOUGH
WE'RE HERE DOING BANKING BUSINESS.
347
00:20:33,968 --> 00:20:36,532
WE MEET ACCIDENTALLY,
YOU INTRODUCE ME
348
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:39,100
AND THEN I INVITE HIM
TO MY OUTDOORS-INDOORS
349
00:20:39,135 --> 00:20:42,098
LUXURY BARBECUE
WITH FINGER BUFFET.
350
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:44,750
BUT WHAT BANKING BUSINESS
ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE ON?
351
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,367
WHEN I GET TO THE WINDOW I'M
GOING TO BE ASKED WHAT I WANT.
352
00:20:47,402 --> 00:20:49,334
CASH A CHECK,
OR SOMETHING.
353
00:20:50,767 --> 00:20:54,534
GOOD AFTERNOON,
I-I WON'T BE A MOMENT.
354
00:20:57,067 --> 00:20:59,367
I-I WON'T KEEP YOU
A MOMENT.
355
00:20:59,402 --> 00:21:02,133
UNEXPECTED OUTLAY.
356
00:21:10,033 --> 00:21:13,701
�5?
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
357
00:21:15,601 --> 00:21:18,717
I SHOULD HAVE CASHED A BIGGER
CHECK, BUT I FELT SUCH A FOOL.
358
00:21:18,752 --> 00:21:21,834
ARE YOU SURE HE WASN'T IN THERE?
- HE WASN'T IN THERE.
359
00:21:21,869 --> 00:21:25,065
I MEAN, WHAT DOES C.P. BENEDICT LOOK LIKE?
360
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:29,000
I SEE HIM AS TALL AND
TANNED AND DISTINGUISHED.
361
00:21:29,035 --> 00:21:30,799
HE'S QUITE ORDINARY-LOOKING, REALLY.
362
00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:33,501
ORDINARY? RICHARD, I
WILL NOT HAVE YOU DESCRIBE
363
00:21:33,536 --> 00:21:36,933
MY GUEST OF HONOR
IN THAT MANNER.
364
00:21:36,968 --> 00:21:40,701
WE CANNOT SEE THE OTHER
ENTRANCE. WE COULD MISS HIM.
365
00:21:40,736 --> 00:21:44,065
WE'LL HAVE TO GO BACK IN.
- AGAIN?
366
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:47,534
RICHARD, I'VE TOLD EVERYONE
C. P. BENEDICT IS COMING,
367
00:21:47,569 --> 00:21:51,167
AND C.P. BENEDICT
IS COMING. COME ALONG.
368
00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:03,599
IS THAT HIM?
- Richard: NO.
369
00:22:03,634 --> 00:22:07,968
WHAT A PITY. HE'D GO VERY
NICELY WITH MY PLACE SETTINGS.
370
00:22:09,033 --> 00:22:11,534
IT'S NOT HIM.
371
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,566
�6?
372
00:22:17,601 --> 00:22:20,766
IN ONES, PLEASE.
373
00:22:20,801 --> 00:22:24,400
YOU WOULDN'T PREFER
60 SHINY NEW 10p?
374
00:22:24,435 --> 00:22:26,466
WHATEVER SUITS YOU.
375
00:22:26,501 --> 00:22:29,332
ARE YOU SURE
THIS ISN'T HIM?
376
00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:31,634
HE LOOKS VERY SUITABLE
FOR MY OUTDOORS-INDOORS
377
00:22:31,669 --> 00:22:33,701
LUXURY BARBECUE
WITH FINGER BUFFET.
378
00:22:33,736 --> 00:22:35,899
IT'S NOT HIM.
379
00:22:35,934 --> 00:22:39,100
WELL, I WONDER IF I SHOULD
INVITE HIM IN ANY CASE.
380
00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:43,501
OH, NO, I THINK NOT.
WE HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED.
381
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,767
HYACINTH!
382
00:22:51,434 --> 00:22:55,100
YOU SEE? IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!
383
00:22:55,135 --> 00:22:57,399
I LIKED HIM.
384
00:22:57,434 --> 00:22:59,265
I THOUGHT HE WAS
QUITE CHARMING.
385
00:22:59,300 --> 00:23:02,234
I'M NOT SURE IT WAS CHARM
SO MUCH AS SHOCK.
386
00:23:02,269 --> 00:23:03,934
OFF YOU GO THEN,
DEAR.
387
00:23:03,969 --> 00:23:06,385
MORE PLANTS.
388
00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:08,766
MOREPLANTS?
389
00:23:08,801 --> 00:23:11,834
I WANT TO MAKE HIM
FEEL AT HOME.
390
00:23:13,901 --> 00:23:16,634
THE WHOLE POINT ABOUT MY
OUTDOORS-INDOORS BARBECUE
391
00:23:16,669 --> 00:23:18,868
IS TO MAKE THE INDOORS
LOOK LIKE OUTDOORS.
392
00:23:20,434 --> 00:23:23,634
WELL, WE WON'T BE SHORT OF
CHANGE FOR A WHILE, ANYWAY.
393
00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:30,300
ELIZABETH,
IT'S HYACINTH, DEAR.
394
00:23:30,335 --> 00:23:33,532
YOU GUESSED!
395
00:23:33,567 --> 00:23:36,432
NOW LOOK, I WANT
TO INVITE YOU AND EMMET
396
00:23:36,467 --> 00:23:40,334
TO MY OUTDOORS-INDOORS LUXURY
BARBECUE WITH FINGER BUFFET.
397
00:23:40,369 --> 00:23:42,532
THIS EVENING, YES.
398
00:23:42,567 --> 00:23:47,133
OH, YOU MUST COME, DEAR.
C.P. BENEDICT WILL BE HERE.
399
00:23:48,734 --> 00:23:51,165
THEC.P BENEDICT.
400
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,466
YES, THE GARDEN CENTER KING.
401
00:23:53,501 --> 00:23:57,084
OH, YOU KNOW,
THE TELEVISION CELEBRITY.
402
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,632
SEE YOU AT 7:00 THEN, DEAR.
GOODBYE.
403
00:24:00,667 --> 00:24:04,132
WHAT THE HELL IS AN
OUTDOORS-INDOORS BARBECUE?
404
00:24:04,167 --> 00:24:08,098
I DON'T KNOW. BUT IT SEEMS
THAT WE ARE GOING TO ONE.
405
00:24:08,133 --> 00:24:12,467
DIDN'T YOU TELL HER I'VE GOT ANOTHER ENGAGEMENT?
- WHAT ENGAGEMENT?
406
00:24:12,502 --> 00:24:14,599
I-I'LL THINK
OF SOMETHING.
407
00:24:14,634 --> 00:24:18,334
APPARENTLY, C.P. BENEDICT
IS GOING TO BE THERE.
408
00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:19,998
WHO?
409
00:24:20,033 --> 00:24:23,650
BENEDICT.
THE GARDEN CENTER KING.
410
00:24:23,685 --> 00:24:27,232
OH, HOW JOLLY.
WE'LL BE SPELLBOUND
411
00:24:27,267 --> 00:24:30,467
LISTENING TO HIS WEED
KILLER RECIPES ALL EVENING.
412
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:33,632
I WOULDN'T MIND SOME ADVICE
ABOUT MY RUBBER PLANT.
413
00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:36,267
WELL, IF THAT'S GOING TO BE
THE HIGH SPOT OF THE EVENING,
414
00:24:36,302 --> 00:24:39,651
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE
A DRINK OR TWO.
415
00:24:39,686 --> 00:24:42,710
YOU USUALLY DO ON HYACINTH'S OCCASIONS.
416
00:24:42,745 --> 00:24:45,734
AND SOMETIMES, EVEN BEFORE WE GET THERE.
417
00:24:47,701 --> 00:24:50,384
TAKE RICHARD
AND EMMET A DRINK.
418
00:24:50,419 --> 00:24:53,067
I MUST BE READY
WHEN C.P. ARRIVES.
419
00:24:53,102 --> 00:24:54,899
WHAT WILL THEY
BE DRINKING?
420
00:24:54,934 --> 00:24:57,601
WELL, I KNOW WHAT EMMET WILL HAVE
- ANYTHING.
421
00:24:59,934 --> 00:25:03,432
OOH!
HOW DO I LOOK?
422
00:25:03,467 --> 00:25:04,834
I MUST REMAIN CALM. I
MUST NOT APPEAR UNCALM.
31824
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