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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:43,968 GOOD MORNING, MADAM. YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE WONKY TELLY? 2 00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:47,699 NO, I AM NOT THE ONE WITH THE "WONKY TELLY," 3 00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:50,868 I AM THE LADY WHOSE TELEVISION REQUIRES ADJUSTING. 4 00:00:50,903 --> 00:00:53,632 OH, I SEE. CAN I COME IN? 5 00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:57,701 IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO BRUSH AGAINST MY WALLS. 6 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,750 THEY'VE RECENTLY BEEN REDECORATED 7 00:01:01,785 --> 00:01:04,567 UP TO AND BEYOND BRITISH STANDARDS. 8 00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:06,567 NOW, WIPE YOUR SHOES. 9 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,033 ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU'D BETTER REMOVE THEM. 10 00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:11,933 BUT I'VE- 11 00:01:11,968 --> 00:01:14,532 NO, YOU'LL BE PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT, 12 00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:17,167 YOU'LL BE STANDING ON GRADE-ONE AXMINSTER. 13 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,265 THIS WAY. 14 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:39,801 AND BE CAREFUL...! 15 00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:46,300 WHAT EXACTLY IS WRONG WITH YOUR SET? THE PICTURE OR THE SOUND? 16 00:01:46,335 --> 00:01:49,199 YOUTO DO, 17 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,199 IS TO INSERT ONE OF THOSE LITTLE THINGS 18 00:01:51,234 --> 00:01:53,567 THAT GOES "BLEEP" OVER EVERY EXPLETIVE. COME ALONG. 19 00:02:12,901 --> 00:02:15,150 I WISH I COULD DO WITH MY LOVE LIFE 20 00:02:15,185 --> 00:02:17,400 WHAT ONSLOW DOES WITH THAT TELLY. 21 00:02:17,435 --> 00:02:19,965 HELP YOURSELF. 22 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,934 HE SPILLED BEER ALL OVER IT YESTERDAY. 23 00:02:22,969 --> 00:02:25,232 OH-HH! 24 00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:28,968 OH, SET YOURSELF DOWN, OUR ROSE. YOU SURE HE'S WORTH IT? 25 00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:30,833 THIS ONE'S DIFFERENT! 26 00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:34,317 IT'S ONLY IN BOOKS THEY'RE DIFFERENT. 27 00:02:34,352 --> 00:02:37,767 IN LIFE, THEY SPILL BEER ON THE TELLY. 28 00:02:37,802 --> 00:02:39,767 THIS ONE'S SINGLE! 29 00:02:39,802 --> 00:02:43,098 DIFFERENT. 30 00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:44,933 HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN DIVORCED? 31 00:02:44,968 --> 00:02:47,367 OH, MR. BARTHOLOMEW HAS NEVER BEEN MARRIED. 32 00:02:47,402 --> 00:02:49,566 WHAT DIABOLICAL CUNNING! 33 00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:53,334 MR. BARTHOLOMEW IS A VERY QUIET, 34 00:02:53,369 --> 00:02:55,965 SHY, RESPECTABLE PERSON. 35 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,033 WERE THEY OUT OF RIFF-RAFF THIS WEEK? 36 00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:00,867 I DON'T ONLY MEET RIFF-RAFF. 37 00:03:00,902 --> 00:03:02,667 THAT'S ALL YOU BRING HERE. 38 00:03:02,702 --> 00:03:05,634 THAT'S TRUE. 39 00:03:06,934 --> 00:03:09,065 YOUMEET 40 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,683 A SHY, QUIET, RESPECTABLE PERSON? 41 00:03:11,718 --> 00:03:14,232 I BUMPED INTO HIM 42 00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:17,067 COMING OUT OF THIS AWFUL LOW BOOZER. 43 00:03:17,102 --> 00:03:19,165 IF HE'S SO SHY, 44 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,800 WHAT IS HE DOING IN AWFUL LOW BOOZER? 45 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,400 COMING OUT OF THE AWFUL LOW BOOZER. 46 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:29,165 DID YOU BRING ANY BEER? - Rose: NO, I DIDN'T. 47 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:33,634 I'M SITTING HERE COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY NO BEER. 48 00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:38,067 HELLO, IS THAT THE METEOROLOGICAL OFFICE? 49 00:03:38,102 --> 00:03:40,432 GOOD MORNING TO YOU. 50 00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:44,499 MY NAME IS "BOUQUET"- B-U-C-K-E-T. 51 00:03:44,534 --> 00:03:48,100 I'D LIKE YOUR SHIPPING FORECAST DEPARTMENT, PLEASE. 52 00:03:48,135 --> 00:03:51,117 DO WE REALLY NEED THE SHIPPING FORECAST? 53 00:03:51,152 --> 00:03:54,065 RICHARD, WE'RE GOING YACHTING THIS WEEKEND. 54 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:57,650 WE NEED THE SHIPPING FORECAST. - BUT IT'S NOT AS IF- 55 00:03:57,685 --> 00:04:01,200 I WILL NOT EMBARK ON AN EXPEDITION OF THIS MAGNITUDE 56 00:04:01,235 --> 00:04:03,732 WITHOUT TAKING ELEMENTARY PRECAUTIONS. 57 00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:06,867 IT'S NOT AS IF THE BOAT WILL BE ACTUALLY MOVING, 58 00:04:06,902 --> 00:04:09,968 WE'RE SPENDING THE WEEKEND TIED UP ALONGSIDE. 59 00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:16,701 HELLO? YES. AND GOOD MORNING TO YOU. 60 00:04:16,736 --> 00:04:19,332 MY HUSBAND AND I 61 00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:22,466 ARE GOING YACHTING THIS WEEKEND, 62 00:04:22,501 --> 00:04:25,767 AND WE'D LIKE YOUR SHIPPING FORECAST. 63 00:04:25,802 --> 00:04:27,866 WHICH AREA? WHICH AREA? 64 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:31,199 WELL, TELL THEM WHERE THE BOAT IS MOORED. 65 00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:36,434 I DON'T HAVE AN EXACT COMPASS BEARING TO HAND, 66 00:04:36,469 --> 00:04:39,434 BUT WE'LL BE ON THE RIVER, NEAR OXFORD. 67 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:46,165 WHY AM I NOT ENTITLED TO A SHIPPING FORECAST? 68 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,499 I MAY NOT BE GOING AS FAR AS FISHER, GERMAN BIGHT, 69 00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:53,701 BUT ARE SUCH THINGS AS CROMARTY, DOGGER AND HELIGOLAND 70 00:04:53,736 --> 00:04:57,100 STRICTLY RESERVED FOR SPECIAL SAILORS? 71 00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,133 LOOK, I WARN YOU IF WE GET LOST IN A HURRICANE, 72 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,400 I'LL REPORT YOU TO YOUR SUPERIORS. 73 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,933 JUST ONCE MORE, 74 00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:17,267 I SWEAR I'LL BUY A U-BOAT. 75 00:05:18,534 --> 00:05:21,333 I WISH I HADN'T ACCEPTED HYACINTH'S INVITATION NOW. 76 00:05:21,368 --> 00:05:24,133 LOOK, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GO IN THAT MOOD. 77 00:05:24,168 --> 00:05:27,833 FOR THE WHOLE DAMN WEEK. 78 00:05:27,868 --> 00:05:31,098 I FEEL AS IF I'VE ALREADY SAILED SINGLEHANDED 79 00:05:31,133 --> 00:05:35,265 THE ENTIRE LENGTH AND BREADTH OF THE UNCHARTED HYACINTH. 80 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:39,834 STILL, IT IS KIND OF HER TO INVITE US DOWN FOR THE NIGHT-I THINK. 81 00:05:39,869 --> 00:05:41,866 KIND?! 82 00:05:41,901 --> 00:05:44,032 IT'S CHILLING. 83 00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:47,300 JUST IMAGINE, A WHOLE NIGHT ON BOARD SOME OLD BUCKET... 84 00:05:47,335 --> 00:05:49,567 WITH ANOTHER OLD BUCKET! 85 00:05:54,934 --> 00:05:58,167 TWO SHIRTS! - AH-! 86 00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:02,033 ONE, TWO. 87 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,965 A JERSEY! 88 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,968 YOU'LL NEED A SERVICEABLE SEAGOING JERSEY. 89 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:14,065 FOR BEING MOORED AT A JETTY? 90 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:17,634 THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS TRY TO LOOK THE PART. 91 00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:21,934 LIFE BELTS. 92 00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:25,265 SHALL WE NEED LIFE BELTS? 93 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:28,534 WELL, ONLY ON ONE SIDE OF THE BOAT. 94 00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:35,033 I DO WISH YOU WOULD STOP REFERRING TO IT AS A "BOAT." 95 00:06:35,068 --> 00:06:37,098 YACHT,DEAR. 96 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:40,200 IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO WHEN SHERIDAN'S MADE ARRANGEMENTS FOR US 97 00:06:40,235 --> 00:06:43,734 TO SPEND THE WEEKEND ON HIS FRIEND'S FATHER'S YACHT. 98 00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:46,200 "BOAT." 99 00:06:55,968 --> 00:06:59,801 MUSTN'T APPEAR TOO EAGER. OH, GO ON THEN. 100 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,766 HELLO? 101 00:07:01,801 --> 00:07:04,400 OH, MR. BARTHOLOMEW. 102 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,851 THE LAST PERSON I EXPECTED. 103 00:07:09,886 --> 00:07:12,734 IT'S HIM! IT'S MR. BARTHOLOMEW! 104 00:07:12,769 --> 00:07:16,100 WHO? - SHUT UP. 105 00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:19,065 NO, NO, NO, 106 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,365 NO, YOU'RE NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING, NO. 107 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,734 I WAS JUST SITTING HERE QUIETLY... READING MY PRAYER BOOK. 108 00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:36,033 OH YES, YES, I OFTEN READ MY PRAYER BOOK. 109 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,666 THE FAMILY LAUGH AT ME. 110 00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:43,968 "THERE GOES ROSE AGAIN," THEY SAY, 111 00:07:44,003 --> 00:07:46,234 "READING HER PRAYER BOOK." 112 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:54,634 YES, I AGREE - PERHAPS I DON'T LOOK RELIGIOUS. 113 00:07:54,669 --> 00:07:57,534 BUT ISN'T THERE SOMETHING IN THE BIBLE 114 00:07:57,569 --> 00:08:00,400 ABOUT "HIDING YOUR LIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL"? 115 00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:03,301 VERY SHORTBUSHEL. 116 00:08:03,336 --> 00:08:06,167 BUG OFF, ONSLOW! 117 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:14,167 OH RICHARD, THAT'S NOT VERY "HEARTS OF OAK," IS IT? 118 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:18,218 IT'S AS FAR AS I GO "OLD SEADOG-WISE." 119 00:08:18,253 --> 00:08:22,234 WE'RE NOT EXACTLY TACKLING THE ARMADA. 120 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:25,332 WE ARE A SEAFARING NATION. 121 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:28,467 I WILL NOT PERMIT YOU TO WALK IN THE SHADOW OF NELSON 122 00:08:28,502 --> 00:08:30,601 AND RALLY IN A SWEATER LIKE THAT. 123 00:08:34,734 --> 00:08:38,065 OH! 124 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,133 DON'T FORGET THE SHIP'S BISCUITS, DEAR. 125 00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:44,601 AND THE WEEVILS. 126 00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:49,701 THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING. 127 00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:52,532 OH IT'S YOU, ROSE. 128 00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:55,265 YOU'VE CAUGHT ME JUST IN TIME, DEAR. 129 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:58,868 RICHARD AND I ARE GOING OFF YACHTING THIS WEEKEND. 130 00:08:58,903 --> 00:09:03,000 MMM. YOU WANT ME TO LEND YOU WHAT, DEAR? 131 00:09:03,035 --> 00:09:04,998 A PRAYER BOOK? 132 00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:07,467 WHY DO YOU NEED A PRAYER BOOK, ROSE? 133 00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:11,632 OOH! RICHARD! 134 00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:15,067 ROSE'S NEW GENTLEMAN FRIEND SOUNDS RATHER RELIGIOUS. 135 00:09:15,102 --> 00:09:17,567 WELL, HE'LL NEED ALL THE HELP HE CAN GET. 136 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,899 THIS IS VERY GOOD NEWS, DEAR. 137 00:09:21,934 --> 00:09:25,234 IT'S TIME YOU SETTLED DOWN WITH SOMEONE RESPECTABLE. 138 00:09:25,269 --> 00:09:28,435 OH, WHY DON'T YOU AND MR. BARTHOLOMEW 139 00:09:28,470 --> 00:09:31,566 DRIVE OUT TO OUR YACHT THIS AFTERNOON, 140 00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:34,834 AND PARTAKE OF TEA AND NAUTICAL LIGHT REFRESHMENTS? 141 00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:43,433 ALL READY FOR THE OFF, RICHARD? 142 00:09:43,468 --> 00:09:45,799 OR SHOULD I SAY, "ANCHORS AWAY"? 143 00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:48,267 I WISH YOU WOULDN'T, I REALLY WISH YOU WOULDN'T. 144 00:09:48,302 --> 00:09:51,217 A WEEKEND ON BOARD? MAKE A CHANGE FOR YOU. 145 00:09:51,252 --> 00:09:54,133 I SUPPOSE SO, WE'LL BE SEEING YOU LATER. 146 00:09:54,168 --> 00:09:56,165 YES. LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 147 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,133 IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU TO LIE LIKE THAT. 148 00:09:59,168 --> 00:10:01,332 IT MAKES A CHANGE FOR ALL OF US, 149 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:04,850 AND IT'S VERY KIND OF HYACINTH TO INVITE US. 150 00:10:04,885 --> 00:10:08,334 GOOD GRIEF, I'VE JUST REALIZED. 151 00:10:08,369 --> 00:10:09,933 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 152 00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:13,067 I HOPE I DON'T SPILL DRINKS ON SOMEBODY'S YACHT. 153 00:10:13,102 --> 00:10:16,132 I MEAN, WILL IT BE ROCKING A LOT, DO YOU THINK? 154 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:20,234 I SHOULDN'T THINK SO. IT'S MOORED, WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY MOVING IT. 155 00:10:20,269 --> 00:10:22,701 OH, THAT'S A RELIEF. 156 00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:29,300 THAT DOES PUT MY SWEATER IN THE SHADE. 157 00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:34,501 I SAY, HYACINTH, YOU DO LOOK THE PART. 158 00:10:34,536 --> 00:10:36,899 THANK YOU, DEAR. 159 00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:41,400 I THINK ONE HAS A DUTY TO DRESS FOR THE OCCASION. 160 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,868 YOU'LL JOIN US LATER, ELIZABETH? 161 00:10:47,903 --> 00:10:50,132 YES, LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 162 00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:52,365 YOU'LL COME ALONGSIDE THIS EVENING, 163 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,334 IN TIME FOR DRINKS AND MY NAUTICAL BUFFET. 164 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,701 SLOWLY PASS NUMBER 32. YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST. 165 00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:28,998 I'M HARDLY MOVING. 166 00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:31,300 I WANT THEM TO SEE THAT WE'RE GOING YACHTING. 167 00:11:31,335 --> 00:11:33,265 WHY? 168 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:36,867 SHE PUTS HER NOSE IN THE AIR WHEN SHE'S GOING GOLFING. 169 00:11:36,902 --> 00:11:40,399 I WANT HER TO GET A GOOD VIEW OF THIS YACHTING CAP. 170 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:43,634 SHE'LL PROBABLY THINK YOU'RE SELLING ICE CREAM OR SOMETHING. 171 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,899 I DON'T LIKE THAT TONE, RICHARD. 172 00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:51,967 THOUGH IT'S TRUE SHE MIGHT MISTAKE THE OCCASION 173 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:55,000 UNLESS SHE GETS A BETTER VIEW. STOP THE CAR! 174 00:11:55,035 --> 00:11:58,551 HERE,DEAR. 175 00:11:58,586 --> 00:12:02,067 32. 176 00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:08,634 NOW, WE BOTH GET OUT AND WAVE GOODBYE TO ELIZABETH. 177 00:12:08,669 --> 00:12:10,332 LIZ IS GONE INDOORS. 178 00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:12,766 I CAN SEE THAT, RICHARD. 179 00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:16,133 BUT SHE CAN'T SEE THAT AT NUMBER 32. 180 00:12:21,334 --> 00:12:22,767 GO ON. 181 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:30,534 IS SHE WATCHING? - I FEEL AS THOUGH EVERYBODY'S WATCHING. 182 00:12:30,569 --> 00:12:32,735 GOODBYE! 183 00:12:32,770 --> 00:12:34,866 BYE! 184 00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:37,699 LOUDER, DEAR. - GOOD-BYE. 185 00:12:37,734 --> 00:12:41,532 SAY SOMETHING NAUTICAL. - LIKE WHAT? 186 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:46,234 GOOD GRACIOUS, RICHARD. DO I HAVE TO THINK OF EVERYTHING? 187 00:12:46,269 --> 00:12:49,965 SAY GOODBYE WITH A NAUTICAL FLAVOR. 188 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,400 I ONLY KNOW "SHIP AHOY." THAT'S ME FINISHED. 189 00:12:53,435 --> 00:12:55,899 WELL, THAT'S NO GOOD, DEAR. 190 00:12:55,934 --> 00:12:59,167 NOW, COME ON HEAVE TO AND WEIGH ANCHOR. 191 00:12:59,202 --> 00:13:02,534 WHAT?! - GET IN THE CAR. 192 00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:06,432 SEE YOU ON BOARD, DEAR. 193 00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:10,000 COCKTAILS ON THE QUARTERDECK. 194 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:22,834 YOU'RE LETTING THE SIDE DOWN, RICHARD. 195 00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:25,501 SHE DIDN'T SEE YOU AT NUMBER 32 196 00:13:25,536 --> 00:13:28,133 BECAUSE YOU LOOK MOST UNSEAMANLIKE. 197 00:13:28,168 --> 00:13:30,632 AMUNSEAMANLIKE. 198 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,667 I THINK IT ONLY FAIR TO WARN YOU HYACINTH, 199 00:13:32,702 --> 00:13:34,933 UNSEAMANLIKE. 200 00:13:34,968 --> 00:13:39,667 NONSENSE! BRITISH PEOPLE HAVE THE SEA IN THEIR BLOOD. 201 00:13:39,702 --> 00:13:42,168 ALL I'VE GOT IS THE UNDILUTED RED STUFF, 202 00:13:42,203 --> 00:13:44,634 AND IT'S QUITE SUFFICIENT, THANK YOU. 203 00:13:44,669 --> 00:13:47,599 THANK YOU, SIR. 204 00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:49,332 CAN I HELP YOU, MADAM? 205 00:13:49,367 --> 00:13:51,334 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR A YACHT? 206 00:13:51,369 --> 00:13:53,098 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 207 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:56,934 MY HUSBAND NEEDS TO BE KITTED-OUT FOR OUR YACHT. 208 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,367 I'M NOT SURE WE HAVE ANYTHING SUITABLE IN STOCK. 209 00:14:03,402 --> 00:14:05,601 THAT'S IT, THEN. LET'S BE OFF! 210 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,801 WE COULD ORDER YOU SOMETHING. 211 00:14:07,836 --> 00:14:10,032 THERE'S NO TIME, 212 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:12,200 WE SET SAIL THIS AFTERNOON. 213 00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:16,000 NOW, COME HERE, RICHARD. 214 00:14:16,035 --> 00:14:18,084 DON'T GIVE UP SO QUICKLY. 215 00:14:18,119 --> 00:14:20,133 LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN FIND. 216 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,833 YOU LOOK MUCH BETTER, RICHARD. 217 00:14:25,868 --> 00:14:29,801 MUCH MORE SEAMANLIKE. QUITE THE NAUTICAL FIGURE. 218 00:14:31,634 --> 00:14:33,599 RICHARD? 219 00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:37,601 COME ALONG, RICHARD. WE'LL MISS THE TIDE. 220 00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:43,866 I'M SURE YOU FEEL 221 00:14:43,901 --> 00:14:46,133 MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE AND RELAXED NOW. 222 00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:53,599 RELAXED. 223 00:14:53,634 --> 00:14:55,934 WELL, YOU LOOK FINE. 224 00:14:57,934 --> 00:15:00,334 HELLO, SAILOR! 225 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,033 NEVER YOU MIND. 226 00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:12,866 DO STOP MOANING, RICHARD. 227 00:15:12,901 --> 00:15:15,567 YOU'RE ON HOLIDAY. IT'S A LITTLE HOLIDAY. 228 00:15:15,602 --> 00:15:17,899 I CAN'T HELP IT. I FEEL PECULIAR, 229 00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:21,200 EVERY TIME I SEE THESE TERRIBLE WHITE THINGS. 230 00:15:21,235 --> 00:15:24,634 WHAT TERRIBLE WHITE THINGS? - MY KNEES! 231 00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:27,998 WHY THE DEVIL DO I HAVE TO WEAR SHORTS? 232 00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:30,566 IF SHORTS ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE ROYAL NAVY, 233 00:15:30,601 --> 00:15:33,167 I SEE NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULD COMPLAIN, RICHARD. 234 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:38,700 TURN HERE. - WHICH WAY? 235 00:15:38,735 --> 00:15:41,634 PORT! NO-STARBOARD. 236 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,567 Hyacinth: RECEPTION IS AROUND THE CORNER, DEAR. 237 00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:06,000 AREN'T YOU GLAD WE DRESSED YOU IN SOMETHING MORE SUITABLE? 238 00:16:06,035 --> 00:16:08,000 I'M JUST GLAD I'M NOT WHERE ANYONE KNOWS ME. 239 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:11,184 HMM? THAT'S A NICE ONE OVER THERE. 240 00:16:11,219 --> 00:16:14,743 I THINK I COULD TAKE TO CRUISING. 241 00:16:14,778 --> 00:16:18,232 SMELL THAT AIR. 242 00:16:18,267 --> 00:16:21,417 IT'S ONLY THE RIVER, WE'RE NOT IN THE "ROARING FORTIES." 243 00:16:21,452 --> 00:16:24,567 NOW RICHARD, I WILL NOT HAVE YOU MUTTERING MUTINOUSLY. 244 00:16:26,367 --> 00:16:29,834 WAIT HERE, WHILST I GO INTO THE MARINA OFFICE 245 00:16:29,869 --> 00:16:32,901 AND RECEIVE THE KEYS TO OUR YACHT. 246 00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,899 WELL, I CAN'T STAND HERE CHATTING. 247 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:45,734 WE MUST WEIGH ANCHOR! SO IT'S GOODBYE, MY HEARTIES! 248 00:16:48,234 --> 00:16:51,866 CONTESSA II. 249 00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:55,399 CONTESSA II,RICHARD! 250 00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:58,299 LOVELY NAME. SOUNDS VERYEXPENSIVE. 251 00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:01,467 WHICH WAY IS BERTH 29? I'D LIKE TO GET INDOORS. 252 00:17:01,502 --> 00:17:05,265 INDOORS,DEAR, DOWN BELOW. 253 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,750 WHICH WAY IS IT? - THIS WAY! 254 00:17:07,785 --> 00:17:10,200 IT'S FULL STEAM AHEAD, RICHARD, 255 00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:13,200 FOR BERTH 29! 256 00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:21,234 AHOY THERE! 257 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,467 KEEP UP, RICHARD. COME ALONGSIDE. 258 00:17:39,901 --> 00:17:42,617 OH RICHARD, LOOK! 259 00:17:42,652 --> 00:17:45,299 SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. 260 00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:47,567 YOU MUST TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH, DEAR. 261 00:17:54,634 --> 00:17:56,667 TAKE IT FROM OVER THERE, DEAR. 262 00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:05,434 POOH! THERE'S A DRAFT FROM THE WATER. 263 00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:08,234 TAKE A NICE ONE, RICHARD. 264 00:18:10,534 --> 00:18:13,667 WE MIGHT MAKE IT OUR CHRISTMAS CARD THIS YEAR. 265 00:18:13,702 --> 00:18:16,801 WHY NOT? IT'S COLD ENOUGH FROM WHERE I'M STANDING. 266 00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:21,499 RIGHT. 267 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,833 COME ON RICHARD. COME ABOARD, DEAR. 268 00:18:23,868 --> 00:18:28,367 LOOK SHARP AND BE SHIP-SHAPE, RICHARD. 269 00:18:33,934 --> 00:18:37,601 ISN'T IT EXCITING? BEAUTIFUL. 270 00:18:37,636 --> 00:18:40,300 A FINE SHIP, RICHARD. 271 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,499 OH...! 272 00:18:52,534 --> 00:18:55,334 SOME FOOL'S GIVEN ME THE WRONG KEYS. 273 00:18:55,369 --> 00:18:57,432 HOW ANNOYING. 274 00:18:57,467 --> 00:19:00,968 YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, RICHARD. 275 00:19:01,003 --> 00:19:03,868 RIGHT KEYSTHIS TIME. 276 00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:08,199 I'LL STAY HERE AND GUARD SHIP. 277 00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:11,834 FROM WHAT? I DON'T THINK PIRATES GET THIS FAR. 278 00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,601 I'M GOING. 279 00:19:23,868 --> 00:19:25,299 HYACINTH... 280 00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:27,534 IT'S NOT THE WRONG KEY, 281 00:19:27,569 --> 00:19:29,566 BOAT. 282 00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:32,084 WHAT YOU MEAN IT'S THE WRONG BOAT? 283 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,567 IT'S IDEAL, I LIKE IT VERY MUCH. 284 00:19:34,602 --> 00:19:37,332 CONTESSA II, 285 00:19:37,367 --> 00:19:39,767 IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, COME AND READ THE NAME. 286 00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:48,417 SEE? - HOW DISAPPOINTING! 287 00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:51,726 AN EVEN NICER BOAT. 288 00:19:51,761 --> 00:19:54,965 THEY SAID BERTH 29. 289 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,434 MAYBE THERE'S ANOTHER BOAT IN BERTH 29. 290 00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:14,632 HOW AM I TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE 291 00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:18,133 TO A NAUTICAL BUFFET ON A THING LIKE THAT? 292 00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,466 OH, LIZ! 293 00:20:24,501 --> 00:20:26,532 YOU LOOK REALLY SMART. 294 00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:29,917 PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT WITH QUITE SUCH AN AIR OF SURPRISE. 295 00:20:29,952 --> 00:20:33,267 I SUPPOSE THAT MEANS I'VE GOT TO MAKE SOME SORT OF EFFORT. 296 00:20:33,302 --> 00:20:35,918 AFTER ALL, IT IS SOME KIND OF YACHT. 297 00:20:35,953 --> 00:20:38,499 WE CAN'T GO LOOKING LIKE STOWAWAYS. 298 00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:42,234 I WISH WE WEREN'T GOING AT ALL. SHE'LL ONLY SING AT ME. 299 00:20:42,269 --> 00:20:43,934 IT'S NOT A SINGING OCCASION. 300 00:20:43,969 --> 00:20:45,998 SHE ALWAYS SINGS AT ME. 301 00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:50,300 I'VE HAD CLOSE-UPS OF THAT WOMAN'S EPIGLOTTIS YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. 302 00:20:50,335 --> 00:20:53,100 IT'S NOT AS IF THERE WILL BE A PIANO. 303 00:20:53,135 --> 00:20:55,766 NO, I VERY MUCH DOUBT 304 00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:57,934 IF THE YACHT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR A PIANO. 305 00:20:57,969 --> 00:20:59,998 SEA CHANTEYS! 306 00:21:00,033 --> 00:21:03,801 I'LL DIE IF SHE STARTS SINGING SEA CHANTEYS. 307 00:21:05,734 --> 00:21:07,965 IT'S NOT A BAD LITTLE CRAFT. 308 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,067 IT'S JUST SHE LOOKS SO INFERIOR COMPARED TO THE ONE NEXT DOOR. 309 00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:14,599 THAT'S IT! 310 00:21:14,634 --> 00:21:17,799 HMM? - RICHARD! 311 00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:20,968 YOU'VE HIT IT. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE HER. 312 00:21:21,003 --> 00:21:22,332 ME?! 313 00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:25,901 HOW CLEVER OF YOU, DEAR. WE MUST MOVE HER. 314 00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,766 SHE'LL LOOK BETTER ON HER OWN. 315 00:21:27,801 --> 00:21:30,434 I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE HOW TO MOVE HER. 316 00:21:30,469 --> 00:21:33,067 YOU DRIVE A CAR, DEAR. - NO-OO! 317 00:21:35,334 --> 00:21:37,399 NOT REALLY, I JUST STEER. 318 00:21:37,434 --> 00:21:40,267 I ALWAYS FEEL YOU'RE THE ONE DOING THE DRIVING. 319 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:46,033 I TOLD YOU YOU COULD DO IT. 320 00:21:47,701 --> 00:21:52,567 NOW, I WILL ASSUME COMMAND AND NAVIGATE. 321 00:21:54,834 --> 00:21:56,899 I THINK FIRST 322 00:21:56,934 --> 00:21:59,032 A LITTLE BIT THIS WAY, STARBOARD. 323 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:02,868 THAT'S PORT! - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 324 00:22:02,903 --> 00:22:06,065 NOW, ON MY WORD OF COMMAND, 325 00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:10,701 MOVE A LITTLE BIT THIS WAY-WHATEVER IT'S CALLED. 326 00:22:13,901 --> 00:22:16,200 I'M WAITING, RICHARD. 327 00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,666 FULL STEAM AHEAD! 328 00:22:18,701 --> 00:22:22,734 SPLICE THE MAIN BRACE OR WHATEVER. DO SOMETHING. 329 00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:32,850 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE, 330 00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,534 PERHAPS IT'S SHORT OF PETROL. 331 00:22:35,569 --> 00:22:40,067 HYACINTH? 332 00:22:47,901 --> 00:22:50,332 I HOPE THAT'S YOU, RICHARD. 333 00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:52,801 I WILL NOT BE HANDLED BY STRANGE SAILORS. 334 00:22:55,434 --> 00:22:57,834 THERE YOU ARE, THAT'S TURNED IT AROUND. 335 00:22:57,869 --> 00:22:59,599 THANKS. 336 00:22:59,634 --> 00:23:02,132 DON'T JERK IT THIS TIME. 337 00:23:02,167 --> 00:23:05,400 WHATEVER IT WAS YOU DID LAST TIME, DON'T DO IT AGAIN. 338 00:23:05,435 --> 00:23:07,299 I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I DID. 339 00:23:07,334 --> 00:23:11,234 THAT'S GOOD, DEAR, BECAUSE WE WON'T NEED THAT AGAIN. 340 00:23:11,269 --> 00:23:14,334 NOW RICHARD, CONCENTRATE. 341 00:23:14,369 --> 00:23:17,334 GENTLYFORWARD. 342 00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:23,367 VERY GENTLY. 343 00:23:27,334 --> 00:23:30,033 YOU'RE GOING BACKWARDS, RICHARD. 344 00:23:30,068 --> 00:23:32,532 I CAN SEE THAT. 345 00:23:32,567 --> 00:23:35,933 I WANT YOU TO COME THIS WAY. 346 00:23:35,968 --> 00:23:39,899 SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO WANT TO COME THAT WAY. 347 00:23:39,934 --> 00:23:44,334 DO STOP PLAYING AROUND, RICHARD, AND COME BACK HERE. 348 00:23:50,367 --> 00:23:52,501 RICHARD, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 349 00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:57,467 I ORDER YOU! 350 00:23:57,502 --> 00:24:00,168 COME BACK HERE! 351 00:24:00,203 --> 00:24:02,568 DON'T TELL ME, 352 00:24:02,603 --> 00:24:04,934 TELL THE BOAT. 353 00:24:14,834 --> 00:24:17,132 USE THE BRAKE, RICHARD. 354 00:24:17,167 --> 00:24:20,167 THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ONE. 355 00:24:20,202 --> 00:24:23,132 OF COURSE THERE'S A BRAKE. 356 00:24:23,167 --> 00:24:26,601 HOW DO YOU THINK THEY USED TO STOP THE QUEEN MARY? 357 00:24:28,734 --> 00:24:31,000 NOW, SWITCH THE ENGINE OFF. 358 00:24:38,501 --> 00:24:40,499 OH, MEN! 359 00:24:40,534 --> 00:24:45,067 NOW BRING HER INTO THE SIDE AND LET ME COME ON BOARD. 360 00:24:45,102 --> 00:24:49,100 IT'S VERY TIRING BOATING ON FOOT. 361 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,767 PULL CLOSER, RICHARD. 362 00:25:01,802 --> 00:25:04,566 I'M TRYING! 363 00:25:04,601 --> 00:25:07,801 HOLD THE BOAT WITH YOUR FEET. 364 00:25:07,836 --> 00:25:10,667 PULL WITH BOTH HANDS. 365 00:25:14,367 --> 00:25:16,567 THAT'S BETTER! 366 00:25:19,567 --> 00:25:22,868 COULD YOU HURRY UP? IT'S GETTING RATHER DIFFICULT. 367 00:25:22,903 --> 00:25:25,801 DO STOP HARASSING ME, RICHARD. 368 00:25:31,067 --> 00:25:33,200 ARGH-HH! 369 00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:36,400 OH-HH! 370 00:25:38,133 --> 00:25:39,532 OH! 371 00:25:39,567 --> 00:25:43,467 THAT'S BETTER. NOW THEN, RICHARD- 372 00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:46,267 RICHARD? RICHARD! 373 00:25:47,868 --> 00:25:51,601 DON'T LEAVE THE BOAT, RICHARD! 374 00:25:51,636 --> 00:25:54,868 DON'T FORGET TO WRITE! 375 00:25:56,133 --> 00:25:59,367 HOW DARE YOU ABANDON SHIP, RICHARD? 376 00:26:05,334 --> 00:26:08,417 RICHARD, HELP ME! 377 00:26:08,452 --> 00:26:11,501 THROW ME A ROPE! 378 00:26:16,734 --> 00:26:18,767 WELL CAUGHT, DEAR. 379 00:26:23,534 --> 00:26:26,232 KEEP UP, RICHARD. 380 00:26:26,267 --> 00:26:29,467 KEEP ALONGSIDE, DEAR. 381 00:26:35,734 --> 00:26:38,367 RICHARD! WHATEVER MADE YOU DO THAT, DEAR? 382 00:26:38,402 --> 00:26:40,634 YOU ARE CARELESS. 383 00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:45,734 DO SOMETHING, HYACINTH! 384 00:26:51,467 --> 00:26:53,732 RICHARD! 385 00:26:53,767 --> 00:26:56,550 NOW, JUST MIND YOUR NEW JERSEY. 386 00:26:56,585 --> 00:26:59,334 TURN IT OFF, SWITCH IT OFF! 387 00:27:04,934 --> 00:27:07,334 NOW, JUST LOOK AT YOUR JERSEY. 388 00:27:12,968 --> 00:27:16,601 STOP MESSING ABOUT WILL YOU, RICHARD, DEAR, AND COME ABOARD! 389 00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:20,499 RICHARD, RAISE YOURSELF! 390 00:27:20,534 --> 00:27:23,265 THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO. 391 00:27:23,300 --> 00:27:26,067 WELL, TRY A BIT HARDER! 392 00:27:32,434 --> 00:27:34,766 HELP ME, RICHARD! 393 00:27:34,801 --> 00:27:38,200 WHY DON'T YOU COME AND HELP ME? 394 00:27:39,801 --> 00:27:42,165 HYACINTH SAID MEET THEM AT THE MARINA OFFICE. 395 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,067 WELL SHE'S NOT HERE. - THEN THEY MUST HAVE GONE FOR A SAIL. 396 00:27:48,901 --> 00:27:51,332 LISTEN- 397 00:27:51,367 --> 00:27:53,734 WHAT'S THAT NOISE? 398 00:28:01,534 --> 00:28:03,634 EMMET, ELIZABETH... 399 00:28:03,669 --> 00:28:05,699 MY NAUTICAL BUFFET 400 00:28:05,734 --> 00:28:08,133 HAS SUFFERED A SLIGHT SETBACK. 401 00:28:08,168 --> 00:28:10,299 I AM GOING HOME. 402 00:28:10,334 --> 00:28:12,998 WE'RE ALL GOING HOME, RICHARD. 403 00:28:13,033 --> 00:28:15,834 AND WE'LL BUY SOME FISH AND CHIPS. 29152

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