All language subtitles for After.Life.S01E06.1080p.NF.WEBRip.DDP5.1.x264-NTb

I've had the best life.

And I couldn't have wished
for a better bloke.

But the world's�gonna carry on
without me,

and so are you.

Have fun.

And I want you to meet someone else.

Someone nearly as lovely as me.

Nearly.

- Hello.
- Hello, you.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

- What are you doing?
- Twitter.

Right. Got a good lead for you.

Local baby...

looks exactly like Adolf Hitler.

Ooooh! Hey!

Boo boo boo boo boo!

Yeah!

Boo!

So... is that a birthmark?

Oh, no, it's eyeliner.

We did it with marker pen at first,
but it took ages to get off.

Yeah, I mean,�
this way we can do it when we want

then wipe it off if we need to.

So hold on,

it doesn't really look like Hitler then.

It does.

No. I mean naturally.

It wasn't born
with its hair combed forward

and a mustache, was it?

- Nor was Hitler, to be fair.
- Good point.

What I'm saying is,
it's not a revelation, is it?

I mean, to get in the paper.

"Baby born that looks a bit like Hitler,"

mildly interesting...

if it had a real mustache.

But you can draw a mustache on any baby
and it looks a bit like Hitler.

Not a black one.

Not as much.

No.

Well, then you'd probably...

do a little Robert Mugabe... or something.

Yeah, or Chinese one. We'd probably do...

- Kim Jong-Un or something.
- Yeah.

Or a Korean one, even.

I've got one more question.

Why do you want your baby
to look like Adolf Hitler?

You're not fans, are you?

We're not Nazis, no.

- Just... a bit of fun, innit? I mean...
- Yeah.

Hitler's the funniest thing to do,�
I guess.

- Take a picture.
- Yep.

Smile.

So... will people do literally anything
to get in the local paper, then?

It's a laugh, innit?

- It was funny.
- Yeah.

See?

They should get him a passport now,

so he's stuck with that photo
for ten years.

Oh, here she is.

- Right.
- Go on.

- If you were atheist...
- I am.

- ...and don't believe in an afterlife...
- I don't.

If you don't believe
in heaven and hell and all that,

why don't you just go around raping
and murdering as much as you want?

I do.

What?

I do go around raping and murdering
as much as I want, which is not at all.

'Cause he's got a conscience.

But... if death is just the end,
what's the point?

- What's the point in what?
- Livin'!

You might as well�just kill yourself.

So if you're watching a movie,
and you're really enjoying it,

something with Kevin Hart in...

Yeah.

And someone points out
that this'll end eventually,

do you just go, "Oh, forget it then.
What's the point?" and just turn it off?

No, 'cause I can watch it again.

Well, I think life is precious
'cause you can't watch it again.

I mean, you can believe in an afterlife
if that makes you feel better.

Doesn't mean it's true.

But once you realize
you're not gonna be around forever,

I think that's what makes life so magical.

One day you'll... eat your last meal,

smell your last flower,
hug your friend for the very last time.

You might not know it's the last time,

so that's why you should do�everything
you love with passion, you know?

Treasure the few years you've got
because...

that's all there is.

I've watched Ride Along 2 five times.

- Well, you haven't wasted your life, then.
- Definitely not.

No.

- Love Kevin Hart, everythin' about him.
- Yeah.

His humor, his comedy...

- his films...
- Comedy films, mainly.

- Mainly, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Whatever gets you through.
- Yeah.

Well, thanks for coming over.

Pleasure.

Right.

Is this the service for Julian Kane?

It's already happened.

Are you a relative?

No, friend.

Wasn't much of a do.

Terrible turnout.

Hope mine's not like that.

Sure.

I mean, I look forward to these things,
and then that happens.

It's depressing.

Well, maybe the next one�
will be more fun.

Doubt it.

Cot death.

Friend of yours?

Yeah. A... guy I used to work with.

Ah, I'm sorry.

Oh, don't breathe in the smoke, love.
You'll be off your tits.

Trust me.

- Hey.
- I missed it.

Everyone did.

Doesn't matter.

How've you been?

Yeah, good.

The nurse who looks after my dad,
I'm gonna...

ask her out.

- That's brilliant.
- Is it?

Yeah.

Another good man taken.

Well...

she hasn't said yes yet.

She will.

She'd be mad not to.

I don't suppose you'll have time

to associate with me
when you're all hooked up again.

Stupid.

Trust me.

It gets complicated.

No one wants their fella hanging out
with someone like me.

Like you.

A really nice person.

- See you later.
- See you later.

All right, Dad?

The soldiers were here again today.

Were they?

Yeah.

Looking for me.

I kept out of the way.

Were they British or German?

German.

Nazis, then?

Yep.

Best keep out the way...
'til the war's over.

You're a good boy.

- Am I?
- Yeah.

What's my name?

Charlie.

Yep.

How do you know me?

Well, you come here sometimes.

Yep, I come here sometimes.

You're my boy.

Yep.

You drew on the wallpaper, didn't ya?

I did, yeah.

When I was seven.

You remember that?

Your mum's furious.

She was.

Don't worry about it.

Got a spare roll down the shed.

I'll do it tomorrow.

You did it already, Dad.

- You did it the next day.
- Yeah.

I'll do it tomorrow.

I love you, Dad.

Gay.

...falling down the back.
If you sit forward, I'll pull it up.

Okay, right.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I don't see the point.

Well, I mean, therapy is a way
of helping you cope with your feelings.

How?

You're asking the question, which means
you're on the way to problem-solving.

Am I?

That's a great question.

That's a great question, Tony.

We are here to help you change...

the negative behavior
which contributes to your problems.

What is my negative behavior?

You've said yourself,
you wanna punish the world

- as a result of your loss.
- Yeah.

Some people deserve to be punished,

including me.

And I thought I could be the one
to administer the punishment,

but my mistake was thinking
that everyone is an arsehole,

and they're not.

Some people are nice, right?

And the trick is to find
who's nice and who's an arsehole.

But arseholes are clever.
They pretend to be nice.

They pretend to care about you, that...

You're an arsehole.

So I'm clever.

Yeah.

- So you wanna punish me?
- I don't, actually.

- No.
- No.

I just... don't need you around anymore.

I don't...

I don't need you anymore.

Okay.

You're not terrible, you know.

You're not Hitler.

You're a dickhead.

You're a dick.

You feel better, Tony?

I do.
Maybe there's something in this, yeah.

You absolute cock.

You cock, you twat.

It was your brother-in-law Matt
that told me about you, and uh...

we thought it would be a good idea...

And I went along with it for a�while.

I don't know why. Like wiggling a tooth.
I knew you were a cock,

- but I just thought I'd give it...
- Well, it seems to be helping him,

what with his marriage
going down the fucking swanny.

His what?

Sorry. Naughty.

Is everything okay with you and Jill?

What?

The psychiatrist said
you were having marriage problems.

- Well, he shouldn't have done that.
- I know. He's a twat.

Is it true?

Yeah, we are.

What, you're...
What? You're working it out, though?

Well, we're trying to, yeah.

So you're not gonna...�
split up or anything?

- Just gonna...
- Well, maybe.

Really?

Oh, come on. Wha...

Is it genuinely a revelation to you
that other people have problems, Tony?

Because they do. Everyone does.

Most people keep these things
to themselves.

They don't go around
broadcasting it�like you do,

but everyone has bad shit in their lives.

So the next time
you're rude to some waitress

for getting your order wrong,�
or make someone feel bad

for saying something stupid, just know
that they might have just failed an exam,

or been made redundant,
or found out their mum's got cancer.

- What about George?
- What, like I haven't thought of that?

He doesn't know anything's wrong.

To be honest, he's more worried
about his uncle acting mental,

threatening to kill himself
and other people.

Well...

tell him he doesn't�have to worry
about that... at least.

That's not gonna happen.

I'm not gonna tell him something
that might turn out to be a lie.

I'm not gonna kill myself.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

No, you didn't know.

No, not about this. I mean...

about everything.

Been a fuckin' pain.

I like this job.

I just used to be better at it.
Used to... try harder.

But it's...

it's a good place to work.

Even with these idiots.

And the little things do matter.

This shitty little...
free, local newspaper.

It kills a few minutes,

in a good way.

A smile 'cause someone
saved a blind kitten from a tree.

It's not for reading, it's for being in.

Everyone should be in the local paper
at least once.

"I was 'ere."

It's sweet.

Cheers, Lenny.

What for?

For being my human stress ball.

Letting me squeeze your neck.

What a good fuckin' mate you are!

Welcome.

You're brilliant, Sandy.

Smart,

interested.

Don't ever lose that.

You can do whatever you want.

And Kath.

Thank you for annoying me every day,

without fail.

Your banal questions...

they distracted me.

So, cheers.

Dunno what he's on about.

I think he's being nice.

Hmm. That's even weirder.

And...

cheers, Matt.

Thanks for never giving up.

It must have been
like trying�to free an injured,

angry rat from a trap.

You're doing it for its own good,
but it doesn't know that

'cause it doesn't trust anyone anymore...

so it lashes out.

You can't change the world,

but you can... you can change yourself.

I'll try harder at that as well.

I'll stick around.

So,

I mean, I won then?

- Won what?
- I kept you alive long enough

to decide you weren't going to kill
yourself and you could be happy again.

Happy's a stretch.

But you don't have to confiscate
my shoelaces anymore.

Okay.

Get back to work.

Unless you've got somewhere better to be.

I have got somewhere better to be.

Oh, back again.

Hi. Umm...

I was wondering if you wanted to go out...

for a drink...

or a meal.

Oh, uh...

I'm not mad anymore.

I'm a bit mad.

But, no madder than anyone else.

I don't know if it's the right thing.
I just...

Okay.

Well, I mean...
Can I say I'll think about it?

Yep.

I'll take that.

Think about it. That's good.

There's hope.

Hope is everything.

I don't know what to say.

Just say yes.

I asked her out.

The nurse?

Oh, excellent!

She's thinking about it, so...

How are you?

I mean...

are you...

- Am I happy?
- Yeah.

Yes.

I had the most wonderful life with Stan.

And I have all those memories.

That's all we are anyway,�
really, memories.

And Stan had a wonderful life, too,

and he's not in any pain.

Doesn't even know it's over.

I do.

But I'd rather live...

missing him...

than for him to live missing me.

That's how much I love him.

I wouldn't change anything.

If I went back and changed one thing
I didn't like, I might lose something

that that bad thing eventually took me to.

You shouldn't regret anything,

or think, "Well, if I went back,
I might do this or I might do that."

I'd go back to 1998...

and punch Gavin Tilley
in the face for looking at Lisa.

- For looking at her?
- It was the way he looked at her.

He winked.

She ignored it.

I pretended I hadn't seen it.

I knew it was wrong to punch him, but...

Also, I think I was embarrassed

about being jealous over something, so...

But now I wish
I'd punched him�in the face.

I found myself...

ranting about how life's worth living
today at work

for the first time since Lisa died,

and... that's your fault.

And I thought...

I'm gonna carry on...

saying and doing... what I want, and...

punishing the world,�but I'm gonna
punish people who deserve it.

I'm gonna use my superpower for good.

'Cause...

when I was doing and saying
exactly what I wanted,

it always felt better...

when it was also the right thing to do.

Know what I mean? If you're a good person,

doing things you want to do
is the same as doing good.

And you're a good person,

and I'd really rather
you didn't kill yourself.

Because it would be a waste.

You may not like living much,

but you make the world a better place.

And don't give up...

because then they've won.

And they grow in numbers.

Who?

Arseholes, you know,
like Gavin fuckin' Tilley.

Gavin fuckin' Tilley.

Ugh.

# Among the living #

# You'll find the dying� #

# Waiting softly #

# To pass on #

# Why can't a love be #

# Like a spirit�#

# As it floats up to the sky? #

# With the giving #

# There is taking #

# Neither one feels... #

# Like it's right #

# And since your heart can't�#

# Tell the difference #

# You give up without a fight #

# Because you know it makes you cry #

# 'Cause you can see�
what's passed you by #

# Because you feel you can't decide #

# Among the living� #

# Instead of headstrong�#

# Into darkness #

# We should be drifting�#

# Into life #

# It's been a long time #

# We've been searching #

# And we still can't get it right #

# Because you know it makes you cry #

# Cause you can see�
what's passed you by #

# Because you feel you can't decide #

# Among the living #

# Breathing, painted shells #

# Crumbling as they fall #

# Because you know it makes you cry #

# 'Cause you can't see�
what's passed you by #

# Because you feel you can't decide #

# Among the living #

# Among the living #

# 'Cause you can see�
what's passed you by #

# Because you feel you can't decide #

# Among the living #

Are you gonna go for a drink with him?

Oh, I dunno.

Do you like him?

D'you know, I've worked in this job for...

God, 25 years,

and, I mean, I've seen lonely people,
people dying, people in pain,

people who've got nothing,�
and yet I...

I don't think I've ever met anyone
quite as... sad as him.

And he did it to himself. It's like...

I dunno, he's...�he's tried to, like,
turn his heart�into stone

so that he wouldn't actually feel anything
'cause it was just all...

really painful for him.

And yet,

he still manages to make me laugh.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Right, let's go for that drink, then.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- D'you wanna go to the pub or...
- Thank you.

Sorry.

- Hey.
- What?

You are human.

I'm getting there.

# Back upon the mended road I pause #

# Taking time to check the dial #

# And the Lilywhite�#

# I never knew her name #

# But she'll be passing my way�
sometime again #