All language subtitles for Winter.House.S03E01.Loverboys.City.Girls.And.Yachties.Oh.My.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_track4_eng

- There's deer.
- Oh, my God, it's a deer!

It's a moose.

- Top of the world!
- Oh, sh--!

[laughing]
- You're doing great, sweetie.

I don't understand
this costume at all.

I look like a founding father Chippendale.

Oh, wait, it hit my ass!

You guys
are little bitches!

I gotta tell you
something, man.

- What's that?
- I love you.

I love you, too, man.

in' hate you.

This is what we do
in Miami.

Let's get into
some trouble, man.

I definitely have
colossal dick energy.

I've never put so much
effort into something

in my Goddamn life.

Get 'em.
Oh!

This is why we can't have
nice things.

I found a dead owl
in the yard,

and I'm gonna taxidermy it.

Really?

Shall we ski?

This is a classic
social experiment.

Three!

No one knows
what's gonna happen.

Two!

But when our, like,
forces combine...

- One!
- Boom.

[horn blowing]

♪

Welcome to Steamboat.

Winter is officially
here, baby.

Woot-woot.

Dude,
there's the mountain.

Yes!

You came to Steamboat when
you were in college, right?

Yeah, yeah.
It's a fun town.

Obviously, skiing,
hot, outdoorsy men.

Hot, outdoorsy men. Hmm.

We're not in New York
anymore, Casey.

Steamboat is cool, though.

I like how it's, like,
ranching, community ski town.

Yes.

Cowboy supplies--
does that come with a cowboy?

Hey.
[laughing]

[phone ringing]
- Katie.

- Kyle, what's up?
- Hey, Kyle.

I'm here with Kory,
who you guys are about to meet.

- Cool. Hi, Kory.
- Hi, Kory.

I told him you guys
are down to send it.

You have a big game
to follow.

He's talking you guys up.

We are yachters.
This is what we do.

[laughing]
Well, we will see you
very shortly.

- See ya.
- Bye.

They are actually
a ton of fun.

I met Malia, like,
a year ago in New York.

Sweet, baby.

Kory...

Judging off his voice,
is he hot?

Yeah.

[laughing]
- He had a hot voice.

♪

- Is this the house?
- It's a beauty.

Yeah, buddy!

We are here! Whoo-hoo!

- Oh, my God.
- This is sick.

Let's get it, baby!

Whoo! Hello!

Dude, look at this.

Oh, sick.

This must be
the primary.

I feel like
this is yours.

You-you got-- you got
the little cute fireplace,

full jacuzzi.

Holy hemorrhoid.

I feel like a lot of sex
things can happen there.

Oh, look at
this closet, bro.

Oh, my God, we're living
the high life, bro.

Oh, we have to christen
this place.

- Yay!
- We made it!

All right, winter 2023!

Whoo!

This is gonna be
a good one, baby.

Oh, look at this house.

Oh, my God.

Jacuzzi?

Jacuzzi!
- Oh!

We have a jacuzzi.

Steamboat,
we have arrived!

What up, Steamboat!

[doorbell ringing]
- Hello?

Sounded like someone
just rang the doorbell.

- How polite.
- Come in!

- Honey, we're home.
- Hey.

- Yo.
- How is it?

- Hi.
- What's going on?

What's up, guys? I'm Kory.

- Katie.
- Nice to meet you.

Kory.
- Malia.

I was right.

Kory is definitely
good-looking.

No one can deny that.
- Deny that.

But, yeah, we did that.

Like, he just screams,
like, [BLEEP] boy.

Yeah, which is my type.
[laughing]

All right.
We'll get you a drink.

Why don't you both
try this?

- Okay.
- All right. Cheers, guys.

- Cheers.
- Thanks for inviting us.

- You're from where?
- Take a guess.

This is my favorite game.
- New Zealand.

- Mother----er. Oh, cheater.
- I told him.

- I was about to say.
- Yeah.

- Why would you say that?
- Oh, sh--.

- Where are you from?
- South Carolina.

- Oh.
- Nice.

- Are you the states?
- I'm originally from Oregon.

Okay,
so, you're a tree hugger.

Yeah.

All right.
We'll show you guys downstairs.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

♪

So, it's like a bunch of
little rooms like this.

- Okay.
- Cute.

- Rooms like this.
- Double bedroom.

So, one, two, three,
let's keep going.

- All right.
- Katie's chief stewing this.

Then you have a weird
double bedroom.

Malia, I feel like
we would be good in this.

We're used
to sharing a bedroom.

[laughing]

That's a good word, relationship,

because that's basically
what we're in.

Yeah, it's definitely
codependency, at this point.

We work together.

I'm Katie.
- Malia.

Are you the new
chief stew.

- Yes.
- Awesome.

We share an office.
We share a cabin.

Ow.
- I hope I'm not hurting you.

When we're not on the boat,
we live in an apartment.

- Yeah.
- So, like,

we pretty much are dating
without the sex, right?

Yeah,
but I still like dick.

Yeah, mm-hmm.
That's not changing.

No.
[laughing]

We have
separation anxiety.

Yeah, we can't be apart.

We normally don't get
ourselves Grey Goose.

Well, I don't wanna show up,
like, empty-handed.

Casey, have you ever done
a share house before?

I mean, I spent, like,
a weekend once. Like...

We just go through things
rather quickly.

Bye, Grey Goose.
I love you.

How is
the bar scene here?

Very active.

With men
of the single variety?

Yeah.

This town has three guys
for every one girl.

- Oh.
- Very fun.

Robert and I broke up
five months ago.

I know we're not
rushing into marriage.

Not a big long-term
decisionmaker most of the time.

We were disagreeing
on a lot of things,

but I thought
we were unbreakable.

Right now, I'm trying to
run away from heartbreak,

and so I just want
this trip

to be about putting my mind
towards anything else.

[BLEEP] Robert.

All set.
You have yourself a good day.

Have fun.
- Thank you so much.

Have a great weekend.
- Thanks so, so much.

And my friend, Jordan,
is also single.

- Nice.
- Let the games begin!

♪

Not these stairs,
oh, my God.

Oh, Lordy.

Are we sharing a bed?

So, is there gonna be
four people in that room?

No, two.

This isn't a boat where
you're cramped quarters.

- Right.
- Okay.

By the way,
it is raining.

Should we work on trying
to get some of those

in' boxes inside?

- Hi, guys.
- Oh, what's up?

- Jordan.
- What's going on?

How you doing?
- Nice to see you.

- I'm Kory.
- Hi.

You snuck in.

I did, and I'm already
gonna ask for some help.

Let's go.

Is Danielle behind you?
Well, welcome.

She was on the flight
after me.

I am bad gal Ri-Ri
and Stevie--

Like, if they went half
on a baby, it would be me.

[laughing]

Have you been out
to Colorado before?

No, this is
my first time.

Oh, epic.

It's just this weird juxtaposition.

I can be low-key
and grounded into earth,

or I can be spicy.

Can you let me finish
'cause I was talking?

Are you done?

So, Danielle's
coming soon?

Yeah.

Baby, we're on vacation.
Anything goes.

Let's just take it
in the room on the corner.

I'm goin' for it.

I'll take
the little nook.

Wee.

Just come straight into
the closet with it.

Hold on. Maybe, is that--
oh, it's the same.

- No, that's a cube.
- Oh.

[laughing]
- Damn, this is huge.

[BLEEP] me.
I got a workout.

Oh, my God!

Hello?
- Yo!

Oh, my God,
this place is insane.

Oh, my God,
this is huge.

- What's up?
- Dude, oh, my God!

[screaming]
- What's up, girl?

- Yes! Oh, my God.
- Hi.

- You are Casey?
- Casey, it's so nice
to meet you.

Look at this jacket.
What the [BLEEP]?

- How are you?
- Hi. I'm Casey.

Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- And look, Jordan beat you.
- My girl, you look so cute.

Oh, my God!
- Thank you.

If I'm gonna be single
on this trip,

I wanna surround myself
with females

who are going to, like,
build me up.

That's Jordan.
That's Casey.

They're in New York with me
all the time. They get it.

Unfortunately,
I'm, like, probably

the worst wing woman
of all time.

You tell me to wing woman you
at a bar.

I'm probably, like,
over in the corner

taking shots with someone
I just met.

- Hi. I'm Danielle.
- Malia.

- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Katie.

- The town looks so awesome.
- Who has been to Colorado,

or skied Colorado?
- I lived here for a while.

- I have a bunch but--
- I went to school in Boulder.

Me, too.
I went to Boulder, too.

What a small world.

Wait, Kyle,
who is missing?

Amanda will be here
on Monday.

Later tonight,
we have Brian Benni.

- I know Brian.
- Brian's bringing a buddy.

Tom Schwartz
will come tomorrow.

Ahh...
Okay, cool.

Can't wait to see the guy.

Yeah, you keep
sippin' that, girl.

I think he will be solo.

Good.

- Um...
- Okay.

What?
I just missed something.

Yeah, about a week ago,
the internet was broken

by, uh, by, uh, Sandoval.

Everyone's seen
the news.

Somehow,
I always find myself

in someone else's mess.

I'd prefer to keep it
Mr. Clean

and stay out of it.

I know Tom Schwartz
through his ex-wife, Katie,

and she's not feeling great
about him in this moment.

So, Tom, if you're
bringing the baggage

with Sandoval
into this house,

my save haven

from all the sh--
that I'm dealing with...

No. Just get out.

Am I living under
a Goddamn rock here?

I have no idea who the [BLEEP]
Tom Schwartz is.

♪

Coming up...

Group sesh, here we go.

[screaming]

Oh, buddy.

♪

I'm excited.
Let's drink something.

Yeah.

This is incredible.

Winter '23, baby!

It looks snowy.
[laughing]

Yeah, no sh--.

- Oh, sorry, Casey.
- Yeah.

We're cohosting
dinner tonight.

- Yes.
- Okay.

- Barbecue, faux fur.
- Ding-dong.

- That sounds good.
- Whoa, dude!

What up? What up?
What up?

- Come here, man.
- What's going on?

- What up?
- What's up, man?

- Kyle.
- Alex.

Alex, nice to meet you.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi, Casey.

Am I interested in this
well-conditioned hair,

like, man?
- Hi.

I have two eyeballs
and a vagina.

Hello.
- Alex.

Good meeting you.
- Pleasure to meet you.

- Hi. Jordan.
- Hi, Jordan.

Mission vacay bae
has been activated.

I'm on the case.

Where did you guys
fly in from?

We're both from
Fort Lauderdale.

Yeah, my blood is too thin
for this sh--,

but this feels good.

His hair smells
really good.

Yeah, beyond.

Are you making
more shots?

- We're doing another shot.
- Well done.

I like this crew.
[laughing]

All right, cheers.

Alex, say that
cheers you say.

I like it.

To rattlesnakes and condoms,
two things I don't [BLEEP] with.

- Ooh.
- Oh.

That's gross.

That's a way to
start the-the trip.

Noted.
[laughing]

What an idiot.
[laughing]

I do some dumb sh--.

It's not very hard
to laugh at myself.

How is that chlamydia
going for you?

I kicked it last week.
We're good.

I love Alex.

He literally lives two miles
away from my apartment now.

There's just so many things
that we have in common.

We're both handsome,
charming, just, uh,

two boys from Florida.

We don't really have
that much in common.

He's kind of a unique brand.
[laughing]

He's always
down to do something.

Like, it doesn't
matter what.

He's also extremely flakey.

It's like Batman and Robin,
but I'm Batman.

He's Robin because,
like, I'm older.

He's adorable.
[sighs]

[laughing]

All right.
I need help with the bags.

- You have bags outside, too?
- Yeah, tons of baggage.

[laughing]

Holy sh--.

I don't even
know where to go.

Downstairs?
- Downstairs, yeah.

- This elevation is no joke.
- What is that?

Sustenance.

That's freaky.

Hey, Kory.
No, I'm kidding.

- Are you, though?
- A little bit.

Did Kyle pick already?

Yeah, he and Kory are in
the two bedrooms upstairs.

- Kory!
- ers.

I don't hate this vibe.
- This is kinda cozy.

How long have you had
the Jesus look?

I started growing
it out in 2018.

Now, I'm just the lead singer
of a Creed cover band,

and it's been going well.
- No way.

He does a lot
of cover music.

Wait, dude.

- I don't know if you're
- ing with me or not,

to be honest with you.
- I know.

Hate on them all you want.

They have 20 songs that
the entire bar

knows the words to.

I knew you would
defend it, too.

I was waiting for it. Yeah.
- Absolutely.

I'll sing the piss
out of a Creed song.

All right, wait.

So, is this, like,
the full gang or for tonight?

- For tonight, for sure.
- Yeah.

- What about tomorrow?
- Schwartz.

- Schwartzy?
- Coming in hot tomorrow.

Well, is Sandoval coming, too?

- No.
- Right.

So, both Toms were
supposed to be here.

We were all good to go,
and then hell broke loose.

I saw that.

Me and Raquel became,
like, really good friends.

I don't give a [BLEEP]
about----ing Raquel!

Dude, I'm sorry.
[crying]

You done----ed up, man.
[crying]

- Oh, God. Oh, God.
- [BLEEP].

As much as I was
looking forward to

both Schwartz and Sandoval
coming to Colorado,

thank----ing God
Sandoval is not here

because we do not need
that energy, right now.

By the way, Schwartz
is a phenomenal guy.

Schwartz has done some
dumb things just like--

just like yours truly,
but he needs to leave

all that toxicity behind,
so he can blossom.

Let this be a place of peace.

It's----ing
Jesus, right here.

- Hey, guys.
- What up?

Hello, there.

I heard you,
and I heard you

snagged the bedrooms upstairs.

Am I fighting
for a room, right now?

Do I have to----ing
wrestle, right now?

I don't think you fought.

I think you have
whatever they didn't take

'cause you were up here
bullsh---ing.

God-- is that what
just happened, right now?

Yeah, I think--
[laughing]

Not everyone
is getting an en suite.

This isn't The Ritz.
- I just gotta look at it.

I don't even know what
you're talking about.

Now, he's getting
nervous, too.

- Who is in here?
- Nobody.

♪

Yeah, bitch.

You're taking
the double bed, kid.

What?

I've shared space
so much in my life.

I have a little brother
and two sisters,

and we always shared
small spaces,

and we were homeschooled,

so we spent
a lot of time at home.

Plus, on a sailing yacht,
we're very tight knit.

Dude, what's going?

I just always try to be kind
and respectful.

I think that's
the Midwest person in me.

So, I'm not
really worried.

Weren't you just, like,
in Colorado, like, a week ago?

Two weeks ago,
I was in Aspen.

Did you run
into you know who?

Robert?
I did. Wasn't my favorite.

- Really?
- Yeah.

No hopes of getting
back together?

Yeah, he kind of, like,
squashed that in Aspen.

So...

Robert works in Aspen.

I'd be lying if I said
I didn't expect to run into him

and, hopefully,
get back together again.

But he made it clear that
that's never gonna happen.

It's fine.

- Single Danielle, yes.
- Yes.

How did you do?

Oh, you got
a double room, too.

But I do have
a bathroom.

I'm using your
bathroom, though.

- That's fine.
- It's okay.

I don't go to the bathroom.
I only brush my teeth.

Everything else
I do outside.

You have such
a nice room.

Oh, I didn't know
you could do that.

This is how
you claim a room.

- Is that what it was?
- Perhaps.

[laughing]

Oh, my God,
he's so funny.

Okay, me and my humidifier
are gonna be here.

[laughing]

What is this?
Is this your bit?

Is this a--
is this a straddle?

Do you put this around your--
- Actually, I don't know.

We're gettin' weird tonight.
That's what's happening.

Are you just leaving
the chaps there?

[laughing]
Excellent.

The assless chaps
are for you guys.

I don't want 'em.

♪

Oh, my God, the furs,
they're so cute.

Is it too much?
I look like Putin's mistress.

[laughing]

- Tequila.
- I didn't unpack.

So, I'll be right back.
- Oh, okay.

Who wants a ranch water?

I'll do one
if you're gonna make one. Yeah.

I'll make you one.

Do you have, like,
bartending skills or...?

- She's a chief stew.
- You all work on boats?

Yeah, we work on
the same boat.

- I captain day charters.
- Nice.

What license do you have?
- A hundred ton.

I have my chief mate 3,000.

So, what, you drive
a massive super yacht?

- Yeah, I'm a second officer.
- That's very attractive, too.

Too many clothes--

too many----ing
thinga-ma-jingers.

Let's start with pee.

So, y'all are fully unpacked,
right now?

- Yeah.
- Pretty much.

Are you guys just used to that
because you're constantly, like,

traveling the world?
- That's just our job.

So, what if you date somebody
that's just a little bit messy?

Like, that doesn't--
- Oh, would not--

wouldn't happen.
- Why? Are you?

No, I'm just
asking for a friend.

[BLEEP].
Oh, my God.

Why are things
on the floor?

Sweetheart, listen,
this is bad.

You know, you're an adult.

Do you know how to
do your own laundry?

- Yeah, of course.
- Okay.

- There we go.
- Yeah, definitely.

You're ahead of the game.

I've only been in
two serious relationships

my entire life.

Of course, I'd love to
meet someone.

This is, like, a perfect
rom-com moment for me.

Stuck in a house,
snow everywhere,

beautiful people.

♪ Pretty girls
let's drive into the night ♪

♪ with you
it's always summer ♪

♪ whoa oh oh

A lot of things could happen.
- Cheers, guys.

[phone ringing]

- Amanda.
- Hey.

What's up?
How was the bachelorette?

I miss you.

I love Amanda.
I wish she was here.

But, at the same time,
I am a lot for her to handle.

For a couple of days,
I can let my freak flag fly

since no one is there
to chop it down.

[laughing]

All right.
Love you, babe.

Bye.

Okay, we are all
getting fancy with furs.

We got some hats.
- Thank you, doll.

- Casey, where is the food?
- It's in the warming drawer.

Silly me, I didn't--
forgot about the warming drawer.

[laughing]

Is this how rich people
do stuff?

Yeah, we got ribs
over here.

Probably gonna roast.

This looks good.
It's like Thanksgiving.

Your Paul Bunyan thing--
it's giving on brand.

I'm into it.

As long as you care.

Let's get this party started.

That's a lot
of mac and cheese

I just put
on my plate, okay.

Look at this spread.

- You are trouble.
- Why?

You give
big trouble vibes.

Well, you're not wrong.

What's cooking,
good-looking?

How are you?

I'm just really
feeling this jacket.

It's----ing fire, no?

- Park it.
- You don't feel it?

- I like it.
- [indistinct].

How do I get
a knife and a fork?

Ko--
[laughing]

What you need?
I got you, I'm still up.

- A knife and a fork.
- I got you, bro.

You've got a little
bing bong on your nose.

There we go.
- Bing bong.

Thank you, Chief Keef.

The slaw is amazing.

We look so formal
and civilized.

You still look like
a Russian, like, espionage.

Spy?

You inherited
something in-in Russia.

[laughing]
Was privatizing their economy.

- Exactly.
- And you were like,

oh, sh--,
I own an oil field.

Let's get married then
because I feel like

I should settle down by 35.

Wait, wait, wait.
How old are you now?

- I'm 31.
- Why put a number on it?

- I don't understand that.
- Because I feel like,

if I go past it,
I'm----ed.

No one gets what
you're saying,

but we're here
for you, buddy.

Okay, okay, let's get
down and dirty.

What's everyone's
relationship status?

Ooh.

We know yours-- single.

[laughing]

- Danielle?
- Single.

- Jordan?
- Single.

- Single? Single?
- Yes.

- Single?
- Single.

- Kyle?
- Very married.

Kory?

Get it out
of your mouth.

- Oh, God.
- That was a bone.

There was a----ing
bone in there.

You're trying to
ask me a question.

All right.
What's the story?

When you're asked
a certain question,

you just swallow the bone.

You swallow the bone.
- Yeah, no, I just--

Yeah, CPR immediately.
Got it.

Which makes you look like
you're choking up.

You gotta explain.

Uh...

um...

Coming up...

♪

What's everyone's
relationship status?

Kory, you gotta explain.

So, I met a girl this summer
in the Hamptons,

and we've been
seeing each other.

- What's her name?
- Sam.

What's up? I'm Kory.
- Well, Kory, Sam, Sam, Kory.

- Sam.
- Nice to meet you, Sam.

Nice to meet you.

Oh!

I like her a lot, but we
haven't put a label on it

to make it official.

Tell me what you would
like the plan to be.

I would like to hang out
with you after this.

It's a real gray area
where, like, I can

kind of have
a little bit more fun,

but I don't know how
to say that properly

without sounding
like a douchebag.

[laughing]

Is it serious?

We haven't, like,
put a title on it.

So, you're in
a situation-ship.

For sure.

[laughing]

Kory is in a relationship.

It's not casual.

It's annoying 'cause I love
who he's seeing.

- Alex says no.
- Well...

- Yeah.
- Let's get after it.

We will.
I'm trying to find a cowboy.

I'm down for
some cowboy action.

I am, too.

A beard, tattoos.

- Yes.
- Yes.

Here's to freaking in
the weekend in Colorado.

- Colorado!
- Yeah!

Let's clear the food.

You're way too hot to
have to carry this.

Thank you for
saying I'm hot.

I'm putting
my bathing suit on,

and then I'm putting
warm sh-- on top.

Oh, here's
a much better dishwasher.

How many dishwashers
do we have?

This is, like, the richest
place I've ever been in.

Sh--.

[BLEEP] it.

- Brian?
- What's up, baby?

What's taking so long?
You haven't unpacked yet, dude?

No, dude.
Did you?

No.
[laughing]

I was trying to get out
my snow equipment.

Trying to get
your thong?

I was gonna talk
about the two girls

I'm really into, right now.

- Malia and--?
- Jordy.

[laughing]
- All right, all right.

May the best man win.

[laughing]

Alex and I have the same type,
which is anyone.

I'm a very sexual person.

I've always been
a big flirt.

In high school, I was
voted biggest flirt.

He's just down
for a hookup.

It's hard for me
to focus all my energy

towards one person.

Whereas for me,
I would love to get

something serious out of it.

If not, like, you know,
no harm, no foul.

I don't give a sh--
but, actually,

I do kinda give a sh--.

I want a wifey for lifey
kinda thing.

Stop being pretty.

The goal is, come here single
and leave single.

I'm here to have fun.

If you aren't careful, I'll put
on my sunglasses, again.

Don't-- Come on.

That's not fair
for any of us.

[knocking]
- Who goes there?

Oh, hi.

[sniffing, laughing]

I'm gonna go make
some snow yellow.

You look good.

You look like you're
in your element.

Kory, look at this.

This is the most
picturesque pee stream

I've ever seen in my life.

It's lit by
some----ing candlelight.

[laughing]

Should we clean
or something?

Let's drunk clean.

Come on.

What's up?

Quick, give me your smize.

One, two, three
and-- ooh!

Nice.
All right, my turn.

That's not-- okay.
[laughing]

I just need
to go to bed.

Me and you are the only ones
with hot tub sh-- on.

We should go to
the hot tub, though.

If I can get Jordan
to follow me

all the way
into the hot tub,

usually that means
odds are pretty good

of a kiss, at some point.

- You go first.
- I've been ready.

We're not here very long.

So, might as well
just jump right in.

♪ One two three four

Why do you look so cool?
I'm slipping all over.

Ow, [BLEEP].

♪

Where is Casey?

[snoring]

That's very cool.
Is this real?

Yeah, it's a thing
in Hawaii.

You give 'em to your friends.

You're like a ogre.
You have layers.

Did you just
call me an ogre?

No, but like
Shrek-- like Shrek.

[laughing]
Like an onion.

Who calls a girl an ogre
as a way of flirting?

I'm single
but not that desperate.

I meant that as,
like, a compliment.

- Yeah.
- Shrek, donkey, layers.

No, I get the reference.
[laughing]

♪

♪

♪

- Let's go!
- All right, bitches.

[laughing]

Dude, you look like
an Eskimo that farted.

[laughing]

Who is coming out here?

Bro! Whoa!

Bitch!

- [BLEEP] you!
- Oh!

Oh!
- Right in the guts, dude!

[BLEEP].

Ow,----ing hell.

I literally hit him
in the dick.

[sighs]

Oh, God.

Normally, I do like a man
who has some swag,

but Alex is giving cornball.

Poor Alex.
I'm loving the energy,

but I'm feeling like
it just ends there for us.

Peace.

Dude, I took one
to the balls.

She's back! Jordan!

How was the hot tub?

Oh.

That's all for today,
Colorado!

Everyone's tapped out.

It was such a pleasure
to meet you.

I have to go
that way, too.

All right. Well-well,
I have to go home.

Oh, man,
here we go, again.

I wanna give you
a quick goodbye before I leave.

We're going to
the same place.

Yeah, I know, but
I just have to go.

Okay.

Oh, no.
- No? It's, like, too much.

Yeah.

Okay.

Am I in the Matrix?

Between him and Alex,

maybe I just have
this effect on people.

I don't know.

So, where are you going?
- I gotta go that way.

- You're going this way?
- Yeah.

But your room
is downstairs.

Good night, buddy.

[laughing]

Oh, is that
Tempur-Pedic?

[grunts]

Love you, baby.

Oh, wow, sun is coming up.

Lay me down.

♪

Gross.

The house is disgusting.

I like having
things in order.

It makes sense, right?
I'm an officer in a yacht.

Like, my life is very clean
and compartmentalized.

It doesn't bother me if
other people don't help clean.

It's honestly,
like, a hobby.

[laughing]

Okay.

♪

Good morning.
- Good morning.

Hiya.

Wah.

It snowed so much
last night.

Who is your favorite
in the house, so far?

I think everyone is
really cool, actually.

Brian is cracking me up,
to be honest.

Yeah, he's mad funny.

- Did we go in the hot tub?
- Me and Jordan did.

How was that?

[laughing]
- Was she feeling it?

Like, a little too hot?
- I don't know, man.

I'll be honest with ya.
I don't know.

- Do you remember me?
- I don't remember you.

I thought we were in
this sh-- together, bro.

Buenos dias.

Oh, my God.

I'm so puffy.

Yeah, it's 'cause of,
like, the-the dryness.

- I need some, like--
- Just chug, like,

a lot of water.

I need all the things,
all the nutrients.

This feels like--
[laughing]

Hey, what's up?

How you doin'?
- I'm struggling heavily.

- I'm in tech.
- Yeah, I work in crypto.

I'm pretty nerdy, so...
- Okay, so am I.

Hand hug.

No, do it again.
- How do-- oh, what? You have--

do you work out a lot?
- Yeah.

- Oh.
- Is that gross?

No, it's not.
I just noticed it.

- I always hide that.
- Like, New York men
never have that.

They have
the softest hands

'cause they're
in offices all day.

- So, is that attractive?
- Yeah. I mean, it's--

- Do that, again.
- I mean, it's-it's better than,

like-like, baby hands.

[phone dinging]

I just texted Schwartzy,
like, a hand wave emoji.

Uh-huh.
What did Schwartzy say?

"Heading to LAX soon.

"I would usually be giddy,

"but this whole melodrama
has quite a hold over me."

Oh, my God.

Of course, I don't
wanna see Schwartz.

I'm angry at Schwartz.

I'm way more angry at Sandoval,
but, like, dude,

how did you know about
this and not say anything?

I told him the stoke levels
are high.

But, at the same time,
like, I don't know

what it's like to be
walking in his shoes.

Oh, God.

This house
is gonna implode.

I don't know what's
gonna happen.

Coming up...

Oh, my God, she's hot,
and she does stuff.

Stop. Focus on one girl
at a time, maybe.

[sighs]

♪

Wait, guys.

Guys, what are
we doing today?

I found a tubing hill
just down the road.

I----ing love tubing.

- Hell yeah.
- Okay.

- Leaving at noon.
- I'm gonna get ready.

♪

Get ready with me.

Sure.

First, we're gonna start
with our undereye cream.

You take, like,
a little dollop.

- Rub it in?
- No, like, dab like this,

like you're touching
a baby's butt.

Oh.
[laughing]

Can you actually help me,
like, get this on?

You could ask me
to do anything.

Okay, boots.

Oh, my God,
look at you two.

All right, keep it
in your pants, buddy.

[laughing]

I can't keep it
in my snowpants.

[laughing]
- And she walks away.

All right, help me
pack the cooler.

♪

All right.
You guys ready?

Let's roll.

- Who is driving this?
- I am.

- Shotgun.
- Already had it.

All right, boys,
boys car.

- Let's burn this sh--.
- Hit it.

Let's burn some rubber!

That was
a good first night.

- Yeah.
- It started off right.

I woke up so anxious.

I was like, [BLEEP],
what happened?

- Brian and Alex--
- Came in hot.

They came in scorching.

So, who are you going
for in the house?

- You need to know?
- I need to know this,

'cause I'm going to, uh, pursue
whoever you're going for.

Fair.
[laughing]

Uh, Jordan, Danielle,
the short one, too, maybe.

- Malia.
- Malia?

I like her a lot just
'cause she's mean to me.

She doesn't
entertain me at all.

- What do you mean entertain?
- She shoots him down.

Oh, she doesn't, like,
entertain your bullsh--.

Yeah, she's dope,
and Casey has got, like,

this whole, like, Dalai Lama,
like, let's drink collagen

and do yoga in
the morning vibe.

Do you think that any
of us are their type?

I mean, the way they were
trying to kiss me last night--

- Whoa.
- Oh, dang!

Spill the tea!

Have you made a move
on Jordan yet?

Not a significant one.

I was trying to act cool.

But you----ed
that up already.

[laughing]

You went in
the hot tub with her.

When Alex and I went to
the hot tub last night,

he just fully, out of nowhere,
just went for the lunge.

[laughing]

Brian, though, he threw me off.
That one I wasn't expecting.

- Oh, my God.
- They both tried?

- Brian, yes.
- Oh, my God.

- Dodging a kiss is so awkward.
- I was caught of guard.

Yeah, they were
in it to win it.

- Oh, God.
- But lost it.

[laughing]

Can we open the sunroof?

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh! [BLEEP]! Sh--!
[laughing]

What the [BLEEP]?
- Oh, sh--!

Too bad we don't
have a sunroof.

- Oh, here we go.
- Is it tube o'clock?

♪

Okay, let's do this.

I'm already
out of breath.

- Chilling like a villain.
- Oh, it's so fun.

All right.
We're going down.

[indistinct chatter]

- They're gonna eat sh--.
- Oh, my God.

No, I've got anxiety.

[cheering]

Sh--!
She's coming in hot!

That was actually
a lot of fun.

You guys still gotta be hot.
You're on camera.

When are we not?

[gasps]
- Oh, my God.

♪

Oh, that's what
I was worried about.

- Guys, can we get a drink?
- Yeah.

- There's our cooler.
- Wait, there's a cooler.

Are you guys
excited for tonight?

Are we going out?
- Yeah, yeah.

I feel like you're gonna be
an absolute hazard.

Yep.
[laughing]

Have you girls ever
hooked up with the same guy?

No, we've got
different types.

No?

You know, that's
kind of-- oh.

What's your type
because, obviously,

probably me?
- Intelligent.

- Oh, no, sorry.
- Damn it.

I don't have a type.

I don't.

I'm attracted to toxic.
[laughing]

- Wow.
- Ding-ding-ding.

Beep-beep-beep.

[laughing]

Kory looks like he'll be
good at a lot of things.

[laughing]

He's like a douchebag who is
in, like, a situation-ship,

and we're like...
[laughing]

I'm a lot of things.
Never been described as nice.

This is not one of them.

We're all here to party
and, like, hopefully,

hook up and stuff, you know,
so, like, just tell us.

Like, yes, you're
on the table,

or, no, you're not.
- Yeah, like--

There's
no way to steer.

[screaming]

Whoo!

Okay, you need a drink?

Is there a beer
there for me?

I love sitting
in the sun.

- Okay.
- You're sitting awfully close.

Maybe, like-like, maybe,
like, a half a step behind.

Is this good?
Is this good for you?

[laughing]
- That's a little bit better.

I'm glad you guys
came tubing, though.

This has been a fun day.
- This is the most fun.

- Look at you.
- Yeah.

Oh, my God, she's hot,
and she does stuff.

- Stop.
- You're intimidating to me.

I'm not gonna
lie to you.

- I don't know how.
- I don't know.

You just have an energy
where you're just, like,

a boss----ing chick.

I'm not gonna argue
with you on that.

Yeah, I'm not saying
it's a bad thing

that you're intimidating.
- Yeah.

- I love being intimidated.
- Well, I appreciate that.

But focus on one girl
at a time, maybe.

[sighs]

Coming up...

I just can't imagine,
like, being bombarded

by every media outlet

in the world.
- Not every outlet.

Oh, [BLEEP].

♪

[screaming]

ing sh--!

Focus on one girl
at a time, maybe.

What?

Do you remember going in
for the kiss with Jordan?

No.

'Cause you
went in for it.

- Did I?
- Yeah, you did.

Oh, yikes.
[laughing]

I think that Alex's
only tone is flirt.

He clearly
likes attention,

and I'm willing
to give it.

I think tonight
will be fun.

But Jordan
is my friend,

and without knowing
where she stands,

why would
I wanna go there?

We heard Brian did,
as well.

[sighs]
Yeah.

You guys were both
going for it.

All right.
Where is everyone else?

- Let's go.
- Group sesh, here we go.

- Hey, Kory, get in.
- Kory!

[screaming and cheering]

- Sh--.
- We're going, baby!

- We're going!
- We're really doing it!

[screaming and cheering]

Come on.

That was fun as hell.

We didn't make it
all the way down.

Let's go. Let's get
the [BLEEP] outta here.

Move it or lose it.

♪ 24-7 365

♪ Party don't stop
party don't stop ♪

- We're back.
- [indistinct] is calling.

It's a heavy door, dude.

♪ Party don't stop party
don't stop ever ever ♪

All right, Brian.

Don't keep striking
out tonight.

All right.
Let's clean the kitchen.

FYI, these can't go
in the dishwasher.

Dude, fresh powder
on the hill.

Have you been in
contact with Schwartz?

He's in an Uber
to the house.

Oh.

I don't know
what to expect.

I just can't imagine,
like, being bombarded

by every media outlet

in the world.
- Not every outlet.

Thank you.

Please, I'm gonna grab the stuff
out of the back, too.

Oh, I have
a lot of sh--.

[sighs]

It's-- uh, it's-- I feel like
I-- I've-I've got thrust

into a parallel universe.

Oh, [BLEEP].

Me and Tom actually had
this trip planned together

when we opened the bar,
Schwartz and Sandy's.

We always, from the get-go,
said, once we're done,

we're gonna go
to Steamboat, Colorado.

We're gonna snowboard,
and it's gonna be glorious.

But, um, you know,
that's not the reality.

[sighs]

Oh, my God.

I feel like I'm having
an identity crisis right now.

I feel like I've become
a-a-a side character

in someone else's movie.

Oh, God.

It's all unraveling,

and I-I-I don't know what
the hell is gonna happen here.

Yeah.

Oh, buddy.

Whoa!

[screaming]

This season
on "Winter House."

Let's----ing go.

Guys, I got it.

[laughing]

Dude,
you Marcia Brady-ed her.

Everybody,
this is Captain Sandy.

I'm so happy
to see you guys.

- Hello!
- Oh, my God.

[laughing]

I feel like I'm in
Hallmark Christmas globe.

- Oh! [BLEEP]!
- Later.

I'm obviously
super single.

So, you come here often?

- Good line.
- Sorry, Katie.

I'm finding myself
attracted to Tom.

Oh.
[laughing]

Katie is so hot,
but I can never hook up

with someone
named Katie.

This is the universe
- ing with me.

It's a good joke.

I ask one thing.

Just don't fall
in love with me.

Aha!

I would definitely
hook up with Kory.

I just want, like,
a quick, little, like,

make out with Kory.

Aren't you
in a relationship?

We haven't made it,
like, exclusive.

Are you going to?

So, I don't know.

- I do like you.
- I like you, too.

Like, I still got it.

[BLEEP] off.

That's why you don't [BLEEP]
on the first date, man.

[laughing]

I think you're chill.

Instagram is the best way
to stay in touch with me.

We literally just had sex
20 minutes ago.

You're spiraling
like a----ing tornado.

Everyone was attacking Jordan,
and she really----ing--

All right. We got it.
[indistinct]

It takes one
to three minutes.

I'm still nervous.

What the [BLEEP]?

- Look what my mom got me.
- Who cares?

- My mom just got me that!
- We're trying to party.

My mom just got me
those outfits.

Don't bring your mom
into this.

Absolutely do not bring
your mom into this.

Okay. Hi!

- Hi!
- Oh, my God, hi.

What's up, baby?

He hasn't labeled you
his girlfriend,

but I respect
that you guys are.

- You clearly don't.
- And he--

I do.
- Look at me.

You clearly don't.

- Chop his
- ing head off!

Film me
doing a swan dive.

Okay.

Oh!

[laughing]

Did you get that slo-mo?
- No.