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Captain's log. Stardate,
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National Donut Day.
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We're under attack from
a ship made of solid fire.
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00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:52,090
All weapons simply pass through
and come out the other end.
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00:00:52,090 --> 00:00:55,180
Like that ball bearing
I once mistook for a mint.
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It's a conundrum, Kif.
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Pray fetch my travel tub.
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I do my best thinking in the shower.
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Could you at least
close the curtain, sir?
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Certainly.
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Lieutenant Kroker!
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You expect me to think without a loofah?
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- Where's my loofah?
- What loofah?
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You! You're the loofah.
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Will you be quiet? I'm trying to think!
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Ah-ha! Water!
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Fire's mortal enemy!
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Lieutenant, fire water.
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What the? Who used up all the water?
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Your shower depleted
the ship's three-year supply, sir.
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Well, no worries.
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I can end this battle with two words.
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"We surrender."
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Sign this certificate of defeat,
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so I can show my mom.
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Kif, my desk.
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I'll just put the old Zapp Hancock on it.
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Big confident dot on the I.
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00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:24,470
Oh-ho. You're juicier than I thought, Kif.
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I have had it!
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- I'm through putting up with your...
- crap!
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I'm filing a formal complaint!
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It's pronounced compliment.
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And now, I am proud to present
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the monthly Only Good Employee
of the Month Award.
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Yay.
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This month's recipient
has the special distinction
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of also having won the award
every previous month.
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Do you think it's me?
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Congratulations!
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Well done, Leela.
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You've reached the pinnacle of success
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in the stagnant,
dead-end delivery business.
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You've really hit rock top!
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Thanks, everybody.
It's a dream come true.
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A recurring dream.
That I can't wake up from.
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Who wants cake?
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There's one handful left. I'll have it.
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I call this disciplinary hearing
to order.
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Captain Brannigan,
Lieutenant Kroker has made some serious,
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though somewhat amusing, allegations.
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Do you have counsel?
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I say, I say, present!
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00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,520
Lieutenant Kroker, do you have counsel?
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You're representing
both sides in this case?
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Till my wings give out, Your Honor.
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I'm going to allow this.
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00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:07,160
Now, Mr. Kroker, please describe
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00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,370
the horrific treatment you endured
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00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:12,500
at the hands of my innocent
other client there.
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00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,710
He took a public shower
and used me to...
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scrub his armpit.
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It was a joke.
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Literally everyone was laughing
except Kif.
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He insisted on telling me
his fantasies about my wife!
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That was just locker room talk.
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He wore greenface!
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It was a Halloween costume.
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00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:38,360
He made me watch him perform
an erotic fan dance
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with a ping-pong paddle
and a no-show sock.
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It was a different time!
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It was yesterday!
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So you admit it!
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Your Honor, I have reached a verdict.
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I find my client, Zapp Brannigan,
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- guilty.
- I'm going to allow this.
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Captain Brannigan, there is
no room in this organization
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for bullying and harassment.
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00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:03,670
Your egregious behavior cannot--
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00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,180
Why are you massaging me?
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00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,890
You just seem so tense.
82
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:10,060
Also, you should smile more.
You're prettier when you smile.
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00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,310
See? It's just nicer for everyone.
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It is therefore this court's judgment
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that you face the ultimate penalty.
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Dating a woman over 35?
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Zapp Brannigan,
you are hereby... canceled.
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The second-worst punishment.
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00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,780
You will be stripped of your title
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00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:31,790
while you undergo mandatory
sensitivity training.
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And for the duration of your cancellation,
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you shall wear the Scarlet C.
93
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I object to these
frivolous, paltry charges.
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00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,800
Frivolous poultry?
95
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,010
You insult me, sir!
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00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,860
Who is it? Poop?
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00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,820
Captain Turanga Leela,
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00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,400
you put in an application
to be a DOOP pilot?
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00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,740
Uh, yeah. Like an hour ago.
100
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:07,780
You're hired.
101
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Captain of the Nimbus!
102
00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:17,710
So you're gonna be
Kif's commanding lobster?
103
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,250
Negative. Right?
104
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Affirmative.
I'm taking some family leave,
105
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:24,380
so I can get bossed around
by someone I like.
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00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,720
Psst. Stinky needs changing.
107
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,930
But the DOOP did authorize me
to bring along
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two trusted crew members.
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A first officer,
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which,
in a bold command decision,
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will be Fry.
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Aw, thanks, honey.
113
00:06:36,390 --> 00:06:38,890
I mean, Captain Honey. Sir.
114
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,650
And a Chief Science Officer.
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Professor--
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I, Bender, humbly accept
this prestigious appointment.
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Also, it comes with double salary.
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So long and good luck, you three.
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You have been an important part
of the Planet Express family,
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00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,950
and you'll be greatly missed.
121
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,790
Next item of business. We have...
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one, two,
three office chairs for sale.
123
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I'm here for the sensitivity training,
124
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and, uh, also, do you have
a better-looking sister?
125
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Please go inside and take a seat.
126
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,140
The training will begin shortly.
127
00:07:19,890 --> 00:07:21,730
Howdy, cancel mates.
128
00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:23,770
You wanna know why I got sent here?
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Nope.
130
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:26,480
Indecent exposure!
131
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:33,910
You all saw it, right?
You wanna see it again?
132
00:07:33,910 --> 00:07:36,120
I could barely see it the first time.
133
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,740
What?!
134
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I've seen brighter.
135
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,750
Yeah, well,
it's not about the brightness.
136
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,580
It's about the color temperature!
137
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:45,540
How 'bout you? What did you do?
138
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,550
Meh, it was total BS.
139
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,380
Some people "alleged"
I was verbally abusive
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00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:52,630
and threw food at my coworkers.
141
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I mean, a lot of people, actually.
142
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That's ridiculous.
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You're obviously not
the type to waste food.
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You should talk,
you family-sized bucket of lard-ass!
145
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Ow!
146
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,270
That hurt in more ways than one.
147
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:07,360
It hurt in two ways.
148
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:14,320
Hello, class.
I'm Dr. Kind, your sensitivity instructor.
149
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,580
Wow, you're ugly.
150
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:19,290
Oh! Now, we don't talk that way in here.
151
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,160
This is a safe space.
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The fact is, sometimes,
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our words hurt other people,
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and we need to be made aware
of how that feels.
155
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It feels like this!
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Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
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This isn't some woke-ass seminar!
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This course will take the form
of a simulated space mission,
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with me as your abusive captain!
160
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:48,020
And you'll learn from the example
I'm not setting!
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Ouch!
162
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,110
Now, kindly follow me to the simulator.
163
00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:57,740
Ooh, careful. There's a step.
164
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This mission may be simulated,
165
00:09:04,580 --> 00:09:07,750
but my abuse will be very real.
166
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:10,380
Set course for degradation!
167
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:13,420
Hm, never been there. Sounds exotic.
168
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:18,430
I'm pleased to have a civilian pilot
of your caliber, Leela.
169
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:20,720
The DOOP is rebranding to project an image
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of peaceful exploration rather than war.
171
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Also, we want to show we care about
looking like we care about hiring women.
172
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,490
Wow, it's huge!
173
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,660
It's like a Princess cruise ship
with laser cannons!
174
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,280
I hope they have a kids' center.
175
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They don't.
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But there's a buffet with
all-you-can-eat week-old sashimi.
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Score!
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I'm really nervous.
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What if I can't handle this?
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Leela, I know absolutely nothing,
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but I know one thing.
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You'll be great.
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00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:03,810
Nimbus crew,
I'm pleased to introduce
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Zapp Brannigan's replacement,
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Captain Turanga Leela.
186
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At ease, crew.
187
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I, um, I know I'm nothing
like Zapp Brannigan, but I--
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Dear Captain's Diary.
189
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:26,790
If you're not me, don't read this.
190
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:29,040
We're preparing to make first contact
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with a primitive civilization.
192
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,750
Anyway, G2G. TTYL.
193
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PS, Fry looks cute.
194
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Captain,
it's time to descend to the planet.
195
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,180
Have you readied a shuttle-copter?
196
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:44,010
I've been thinking about that.
197
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,810
Maybe we shouldn't intimidate them
198
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with our advanced technology.
199
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:48,440
Hm...
200
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,230
Generally,
I like to intimidate new civilizations,
201
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,860
but what did you have in mind?
202
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,400
A bucket on a rope.
203
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,650
Sorry you can't come, Bender.
204
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Your robot technology might scare them.
205
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,370
Safe travels.
206
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,210
This was a clever idea, Captain.
207
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,380
See, Leela? You're doing great.
208
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,170
Hope my robot technology
isn't scaring you.
209
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:21,010
And now, to stop it.
210
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:39,280
Hello! We are people from the sky
who come in peace.
211
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They speak Tactillian.
212
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,700
Ah!
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00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:47,540
I am Airee, Quing of Planet Tactillia.
214
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,250
For centuries, we have wondered
215
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,500
if we are alone in the universe.
216
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,630
But now, we know intelligent life exists,
217
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,670
flying among the stars in a bucket.
218
00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,590
Welcome.
219
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,510
The bucket people have
unusual bodies, oh Quing.
220
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:09,890
They have fewer knobs, but not none!
221
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,600
Hey!
Just 'cause I'm wearing a short skirt.
222
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,270
No means no.
223
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:18,400
Blech! What are you doing? Stop that!
224
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,530
Captain! Respect their customs!
225
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:23,490
We need to win the hearts
and knobs of these people.
226
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:25,620
But they're so grabby. Oops!
227
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,450
Whee!
228
00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,580
Um... Quing Airee,
229
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:31,710
we have important matters to discuss,
230
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,210
but it may be difficult.
231
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:36,540
Our civilizations are at
very different levels of technology.
232
00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:39,300
No kidding. You traveled in a bucket.
233
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,380
- Actually, that was--
- We have much to teach you.
234
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,640
Brush harder, tubby!
235
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,640
You can't yell at me.
You're on your short arms.
236
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,690
I yell at any height I want!
237
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:57,810
You! Brush your teeth!
238
00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:58,900
I don't have teeth.
239
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,730
Then brush my teeth!
240
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:02,190
Damn, those are nice--
241
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:03,450
Whoa!
242
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:07,490
You all think
you've humiliated your crews.
243
00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:09,700
You ain't seen nothin'.
244
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,120
I'm gonna do something so degrading
245
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,580
that you'll never be the same!
246
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:18,540
I'm going to take a shower...
right here on the bridge!
247
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,420
You sicken me.
248
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,810
If you're wondering how our civilization
249
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,060
- became so advanced...
- We're not, but--
250
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,310
It's because we learned to
harness pneumatic technology.
251
00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:38,150
All the sophisticated machinery you see
252
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,900
is powered by air.
253
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,020
I've heard of air.
254
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,610
This is our main air power plant.
255
00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:48,620
The air blows through
high-pressure transmission lines,
256
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,200
so our citizens can power their appliances
257
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,120
and inflate their meals.
258
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,580
I'm fascinated by
all this wonderful air.
259
00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:58,040
Where does it come from?
260
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,630
I'm glad you asked.
261
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,090
Behold!
262
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:06,590
Oh no, wait. Hang on.
263
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,600
Behold!
264
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,430
The Great Blow Hole!
265
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:17,230
Fresh from the hole.
266
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,560
Whoa!
267
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:22,270
This is kinda fun.
268
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,190
Get out of our air!
269
00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:29,870
This is an amazing natural resource,
Quing Airee.
270
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,660
You should do everything
in your power to protect it.
271
00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,870
Uh, Leela, a word.
272
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,250
I may not have told you
everything about this mission.
273
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,380
These people are lovely and whatever.
274
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,420
It's debatable.
275
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:44,710
- We're really here for the air.
- What?
276
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:47,800
The whole core of
this planet is frozen gas.
277
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,680
It's like a slot machine
that keeps paying out air!
278
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,970
That sounds like a really boring casino.
279
00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:54,520
Have you been to space, Leela?
280
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,270
Not a lotta air out there,
281
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:59,020
and what we do have is, like, 50% burp.
282
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:02,020
Which is why you must get them
to sign this treaty
283
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:03,860
granting us air rights.
284
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:05,570
So,
285
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,860
this peace mission
isn't really about peace?
286
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:09,450
Who said it's not about peace?
287
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,410
It's entirely about peace.
288
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,740
Also, air.
289
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,370
Leela, sometimes
we coerce people with war.
290
00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:18,370
Other times, we take the high road
291
00:15:18,370 --> 00:15:20,120
and trick them with peace.
292
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,170
Excuse me.
293
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,720
It is my great pleasure
294
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,970
to sign this peace treaty
with Captain Leela
295
00:15:33,970 --> 00:15:37,020
and her big bucket of space friends.
296
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,900
Tradition dictates
that the parties begin
297
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,730
with the ritual knobbling.
298
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,780
Uh...
299
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,490
Our captain will gladly
engage in the knobbling.
300
00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:52,360
I will? I'd rather not.
301
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,320
I said knobble!
302
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,040
Blech!
303
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,460
It's starting to get real ripe in here.
304
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:05,340
No offense, but could it possibly be
all the food you threw?
305
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,010
Let's find out.
306
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,720
- Ow.
- Man. It does stink.
307
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,890
It's like rotten flesh
floating in a puddle of vomit.
308
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,680
You wish.
309
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,010
It's a durian!
310
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:18,890
No.
311
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,390
Noooo!
312
00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:22,100
What's a durian, by the way?
313
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:25,690
Earth's most putrid yet delicious fruit.
314
00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:29,230
So refreshing after a public shower.
315
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:34,950
My God. It actually has stink lines.
316
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,620
Tough it out, snowflake!
317
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:40,410
Now you see how you've demoralized
your own crews!
318
00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:43,460
Crews you expect
to follow you into battle!
319
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,210
At least with me in charge,
they don't suffer long.
320
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:49,460
Let's see how well you fight
under these conditions.
321
00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:51,840
Crew to simulated battle stations!
322
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,800
Captain Cranky! 90 degrees to starboard!
323
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,140
Shields up, Flashnut!
324
00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:01,730
Fire simulated missile, you fat moron!
325
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,520
So mean.
326
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:07,810
That simulated ship
looks a bit like my real ship,
327
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:09,530
the Nimbus.
328
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,190
Yes! Direct hit!
329
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,450
Now, who's the fat, incontinent moron?
330
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,210
Hey, man, that's catchy!
331
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:29,000
What song is that playing
on the emergency siren?
332
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,670
It's the emergency siren!
We're under attack!
333
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,130
Ah! I'm getting outta here!
334
00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:46,650
We need this treaty, Leela.
335
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,520
Act like a captain
and start fondling knobs.
336
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,530
On behalf of
the Democratic Order of Planets,
337
00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:58,370
it is my honor to, respectfully,
338
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,620
grope your slimy...
339
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,290
I can't do it.
340
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:06,580
Something just seems inappropriate.
341
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,040
Possibly this thing.
342
00:18:15,630 --> 00:18:17,890
What a marvelous bucket.
343
00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:21,470
Jumping Judas.
344
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:24,100
I've never seen a simulation so realistic.
345
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:27,140
Is it "okay" to hit on a simulation?
346
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,730
What is the meaning of this?
347
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:30,980
I thought I canceled all four of you!
348
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:33,860
Yes, but I hijacked this ship
349
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:37,740
after hog-tying your pathetic
sensitivity instructor!
350
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,330
It was a teachable moment.
351
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:42,990
So, our ship was real?
352
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,290
And the simulation was simulated?
353
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,880
No one cancels Dr. Gary Kind.
354
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,760
- Who's the tall short guy?
- Dr. Gary Kind,
355
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,630
one of the DOOP's
most notorious gropers.
356
00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,550
A groper?
357
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,600
Now, this gentleman's a diplomat.
358
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:11,520
You messed with the wrong
doctor of botanical science.
359
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,570
But I have with me a bio-weapon
360
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,610
of inconceivable power!
361
00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:18,650
He's got something in his jacket!
362
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,200
And so do I!
363
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:28,330
Jeez. How many more durians
does this guy have?
364
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:32,330
One. Enough to befoul
this planet's air supply
365
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:33,840
for centuries!
366
00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:37,170
Gary, put down the durian.
367
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:39,880
We swore never to use those in peacetime.
368
00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:45,510
Bender to Leela! The Nimbus
came under attack about an hour ago!
369
00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:47,390
I probably should have called earlier.
370
00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:49,480
Be on the lookout for a small gunship
371
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,400
about yea big from a million miles away.
372
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:56,110
Captain Leela,
command the Nimbus to fire on Dr. Kind.
373
00:19:57,150 --> 00:19:58,990
But, he's surrounded
374
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:01,410
by those poor innocent pervs.
375
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:03,070
They might get hurt.
376
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,410
What a wimp!
377
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:07,240
Captains need to be ruthless.
378
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,250
Women belong in the kitchen,
379
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:12,210
fixing me a sweet durian pie.
380
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,290
That's an offensive stereotype.
381
00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:16,040
Leela's terrible at baking.
382
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:20,720
Your eight-hour
sensitivity training is complete.
383
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,090
Please deposit me
in the nearest recycling bin.
384
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,350
No chance.
385
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,470
Zapp Brannigan,
having completed your rehabilitation,
386
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,810
I hereby reinstate you
as Captain of the Nimbus.
387
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:34,650
Order your ship to fire!
388
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,020
Uh, thank you, Glab,
389
00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:38,570
but, uh, I'm not sure I can do that.
390
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,610
Dr. Kind taught me a lot.
391
00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:42,200
That's wonderful!
392
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,700
I now know there's a difference
between right and wrong.
393
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,660
One of them gets you canceled.
394
00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:53,330
See what you get with PC culture?
395
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:57,090
Weak captains
too cowardly to shoot the helpless!
396
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,970
Ah, what a beautiful night
397
00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:05,970
for smell-gazing.
398
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:13,310
You should have shot me
before I destroyed your precious air!
399
00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:17,060
If I were captain,
I'd have fired without a second thought!
400
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:22,190
Your eight-hour
sensitivity training is complete.
401
00:21:22,190 --> 00:21:23,740
Please deposit me...
402
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,490
Dr. Kind, having completed
your rehabilitation,
403
00:21:29,490 --> 00:21:32,500
I name you Captain of the Nimbus.
Order your ship to--
404
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,580
Fire!
405
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:55,600
Leela, you're a hero!
406
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,650
Quing Airee,
I am now prepared to knobble.
407
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:04,110
Don't mind the durian.
408
00:22:04,110 --> 00:22:07,990
I declare the groping optional.
Where do I sign?
409
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,540
In conclusion,
410
00:22:16,540 --> 00:22:18,670
I sincerely apologize
411
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,090
to all those I've harmed.
412
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:22,750
Especially Kif Kroker,
413
00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:25,300
the giant sex ladies of Amazonia,
414
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,840
simulated Leela,
415
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:30,050
and, of course, the late Dr. Kind.
416
00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:31,560
Yeah, baby!
417
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,940
Move! This ceremony is for Leela.
418
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:37,980
Captain Leela,
419
00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:41,440
having heroically secured
our supply of space air,
420
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,360
I present you the DOOP's highest honor,
421
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:46,110
the Medal of Valor.
422
00:22:49,030 --> 00:22:51,330
It's pronounced velour.
423
00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:54,870
Your refusal to shoot
unarmed civilians when ordered
424
00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:57,080
was an inspiration to us all,
425
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,880
as well as grounds for
a dishonorable discharge!
426
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,000
What do you think this is,
the Peace Corps? Get out!
427
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,720
I guess I just don't have what it takes
to be a DOOP captain.
428
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,970
No, you have something better.
429
00:23:12,970 --> 00:23:15,060
You have what it takes to be Leela.
430
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,240
Yum. Durian!
431
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,450
May I slurp your cheek clean
with my tendrils?
432
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:33,160
Eh, sure.
And thanks for asking first.
433
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,120
Ew, blech!
434
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,410
But also yum.
31295
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