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Is there anything else

you want to talk about
before you go?

no. that's about it.

i'm supposed
to be the person

who's looking
at my watch,

not you.

sorry. i don't want
to be late for work.

not today.

i don't think
you have to

come back
for a while, peter.

are you o.k.
with that?

yeah.

i felt the same way
last couple of sessions.

think you're ready
to see sharon?

the question should be,
does sharon...

want to see me?

i think
we should wait a bit.

let's make sure
mr. hyde is dead.

what you went
through, peter,

was very unpleasant,

not only for you,
but for your loved ones.

if any of these episodes
should happen again,

you owe it
to your family,

your friends, yourself
to come to me.

is that clear?

mm-hmm.

keep in touch.

thanks, ron.

hold that for me.

something weird going on around here, peter.

a lot of folks with foreign accents running around.

japanese?

new york.

oliver westover said,

"be careful what you put
in the oven today,

because that's what you'll
take out of it tomorrow."

this company has always
sought new horizons.

once again,
we have found one--

cookies.

today, marketing manager
peter derns

will dazzle us
with a presentation

of our introductory product.

peter.

yes.

ahem.

thank you, charlene.

ahem.

where is it...

everyone wants to go
in the nineties, gang?

does anybody know?

back to the fifties.

back to the basics.

back to a simpler time.

that's why our first cookie
is going to be

oatmeal raisin classic.

and it will come,
for a limited time only...

in an old-fashioned

cookie jar.

very good.

yeah, like mom had
over the fridge.

exactly.

we're going to take
a 30-cent loss per unit.

whoa.

whoa, whoa.

i thought we were
in this to make money.

a 30-cent loss
per unit...

translates
into about...

a million-dollar cut
into profits.

we'll chalk up the loss
as promotional costs.

well,
ye olde-fashioned jars

take up valuable
shelf space.

we have to create
a new product in a way

that separates us
from the competition.

the word "old-fashioned"
scares me,

especially since we're
in the process of updating

mrs. appleby's image.

i'll have to talk
with new york about this.

what's going on?
who's that?

oh, uh...

peter wasn't at the meeting this morning,

meeting?
there was a meeting?

peter, bill lives

and john steele
are with bart foods.

there'll be an official announcement
about the takeover tomorrow.

until then,
our ears only.

now, please continue.

ahem.

uh...

yeah, where were we here?

you ambushed me, jack.

suck up to the new ownership on your time.

you need to learn how to take constructive criticism.

peter, find a case study
similar to your concept.

jack, do a cost breakdown
of peter's proposal.

sara, creative briefs
and strategies

from our competitor's
oatmeal raisin cookies.

all on my desk
by noon tomorrow.

absolutely.
got it. first thing.

i didn't find out about the takeover till yesterday.

for christ's sake,
lighten up.

you'll have a stroke
before me.

look, i know we promised you a promotion

at the end
of the quarter.

everything's
on the back burner.

you can't do that.

will you listen to me?

when bart executives
hit 50,

they haul them off to the woodshed and shoot them.

charlene
could be put down.

i'd like to be the next president of appleby.

somebody's going to have to
take over my position as v.p.

you perhaps.

you know
who my first choice is.

all our asses
are on the line.

if this cookie venture
goes down the toilet,

that gives bart a good reason to clean house.

but if we kick ass...

success
is just like hot air.

it rises.

good morning, peter.

lance?

all right. don't move.
start your breathing, o.k.?

send dodie
my expense account,

cancel meetings,
get cots in here.

we're burning
the midnight oil.

look, peter,
i lost your expenses in the system.

didn't you back it up?

i thought i did.

oh.

wait just one second.

this place
is such a pigsty.

you never
can find anything.

peter,
julie's broke water.

water broke.

last year's report...

did you hear
what i said?

julie's water
just broke.

maybe some
fresh coffee.

hustle.
we got to go.

peter, my wife is having a baby right now!

that's too--

i'm leaving.

i'm going.

no, lance,
you can't do this to me.

here are your keys.
don't lose them.

i got a report
to hand in by tomorrow.

i'm sorry.
i'll see you in a couple weeks.

you want a raise,
and you're doing this now?

labor's like
an nba game.

you don't have to be there
until the final minutes.

peter,
wish me luck.

good luck.

thank you.

yeah.

good luck.

shit.

sorry about tonight,
nathan.

no, no, no.

i don't always have
too much homework.

i have some tickets
for the basketball game

this weekend.

you want to come?

yeah?

o.k., good.

no, no, i don't know.

that's a good one.

i like it.

now, you get some
sleep now, all right?

o.k. all right.
good night.

oh, uh, say good night
to your mom.

h-hello?

everybody remembers the
main ingredient and everything.

the weird thing-- and i'll never understand this--

mr. goody doesn't have
a record deal.

there are people who can't sing and have deals.

i don't
understand it, but...

it's about
that time of year

to start
thinking about

planting
summer vegetables.

this morning's guest is going to show us how to start.

i'm rita povey,
and today...

how's that, uh,

report coming, derns?

super.

good.

good.

may i help you?

i work here.

this is my office.

oh, mr. derns.

i'm--i'm kris bolin.

tobias temporary services
sent me.

i'm--i'm
your new assistant.

oh, yeah.

the temp.

yeah.

of course.

hello.

uh...

you, um...

you, uh...

i--i was just killing time until you arrived.

oh.

you seem harried.

i was up late trying to finish a report

that has to
be in by noon.

that's not
going to happen, so...

well,
i'll call charlene.

i'm going
to call charlene,

tell her i got
a doctor's appointment.

before you tell your boss you're not in control,

why don't you let your assistant assist you?

we're never
going to make it.

this way.

ahem.

excuse me.

hey.

emergency.

what's your code?

uh, i don't...
lance--

what's yours?

we're not allowed--
your code!

1620.

meet me
on the seventh floor.

cutting it close,
aren't you, buddy?

isn't there some executive ass you could be kissing?

asses i kiss don't belong to any executives.

whew.

who the hell
is that?

where's that...

oh, thanks.

is your job always this exciting,
mr. derns?

please call me peter,

and i couldn't have done it without your help.

are you taking lance
to the salmon grill?

the brass
is buying the grunts a meal.

secretaries' day.

uh-huh.

do you have plans?

nothing i can't break.

when i first started out
in this business,

i was an assistant, too.

i asked my first boss

what it was
that he wanted from me.

"i want you
to read my mind."

by the end
of my time with him,

i almost could.

that's the job description,

that's what each one of you
does for each one of us.

this ship couldn't sail
without you.

someone's got to
do the rowing.

do you have
anything to add?

you're all taking
too long a lunch.

let's have some cake
and get out of here.

jeez.

i'm allergic to
those god damn things.

get that out of here.

where's--
waiter, waiter.

where's the waiter?

go. shoo.

well done.

excuse me.

if i, uh...

don't get to a doctor
after getting stung,

i buy the old
ranch house.

i--i cleaned up your expense account folder

and categorized expenditures by bank card.

your family?

yes.

mark and lizzie.

you know,
we--we could, um...

we could actually
do all of your taxes,

even your personal checking,
through this system.

um...

well...

you'd still have to sign all the checks.

12-80-3 derns.

that's my access code.

go!

whoo!

so, we're going to
become competitors, huh?

going into the old
cookie business, eh?

there's nobody out there
with superior product.

the market's ours
for the taking.

baker mills has turned back all comers.

we're going
to knock that smile off

little mrs. appleby's mug.

we're not little anymore,
you know.

bart usually turns over management
when they swallow a company.

i got to
pay off a mortgage

for a house i'm not allowed to live in,

pay rent for a house
i don't want to live in.

dad, can i go to
basketball camp?

gary and david potter
are going.

what, me worry?

hey, didn't you tell me

you once fooled around
with your secretary?

why, you thinking
of boning lance?

i knew you'd be
the first to go.

no. i have a temp.

quite a temp.

temps are fair game.

nah, she's married.

i'm trying to get things

back together
with sharon.

it's the last thing
i need.

she's something, huh?

hey, she could make
a blind man see again.

really?
hey, pete.

now, this is going to sound a little weird.

this cookie thing's going to put us head-to-head.

i'd like to think we're going to survive this experience.

oh, come on.

no bullshit now.
this is business, all right?

i just
want you to know

that i take
no prisoners,

and i eat
the wounded.

nathan!

you know those little hearts they put on menus

to tell you what foods
are healthy to eat?

mm-hmm.

why not put a big heart on a cookie jar?

our cookies
are healthy.

uh...

oatmeal's
high in fiber.

we use less oil
in our product.

we could make the jars square instead of round.

take up less
shelf space.

ahem.

it's, um...

it's wonderful.

it's a wonderful idea.

it's a great idea.

i'm going to miss you when lance comes back,
you know.

i finally find a boss
who doesn't paw at me

every time
i walk by his desk,

and it's only
temporary.

hey, you want to
call your husband,

tell him
you're working late?

no.

hey, this is--
this is a great idea.

we are--

it's a great idea.

yeah.

i'll bet
you're a great dad.

trying to be.

breakup must've been
hard on him, though.

uh, a picture of your son,

no picture of your wife.

a guess.

yeah.

what don't you
like about it?

i need to know.

i need your feedback

in the worst
possible way.

no woman i know wears a cameo on her neck

when she's cooking.

my mom wore a cameo

every time she picked up a frying pan.

what about her frown?

hey, big fella.

good morning, peter.

how are you?

good morning.

you know,

you're easier on the eyes than old lance.

your calf definition
in particular

is far superior
to his.

did you know that?

no.

kris, where's that fax
came in late last night

from rosiland podge?

i'll, uh,

i'll see you
at lunch, kris.

i was cross-referencing
your insurance statements

and noticed that your visits to dr.
feldman

aren't covered on the company health plan.

they're not supposed to be.

you're having lunch
with him?

you're having lunch
with jack?

so?

so you're married.

jack says i might
work full-time for him

when i'm done
temping for you.

this isn't
about sex, peter.

it's about work.

i want to
stay on with you.

i've already made that perfectly clear.

you know, lance...
lance just started a family.

i--i--i can't...

fire him.

even though i do the job 10 times better?

kris, the guy just wants to get you in the rack.

i'm a big girl.

here's your fax.

jack and i
are up for roger's job

when he gets promoted.

he's going to pump you
for dirt on me.

interesting
choice of words.

i think you're
a little paranoid.

i hate that word!

jesus, big brother's not wasting any time,

is he?

as long as i got my job.

where's walt?

who?

you know,
i can't find anything in here.

files
in the filing cabinet,

books
on the bookshelves.

it's a radical concept.
you'll get used to it.

top-secret
test market locations.

should they fall into the hands of the enemy

before you shred them,

swallow
your cyanide capsule.

peter?

yeah?

listen,
i have to leave.

i have an interview
with jack.

huh.

how do i look?

he'll eat you alive.

there are
worse ways to go.

um...

i wish there was a way
for you to stay.

peter, peter,
cookie eater,

had a temp
but couldn't keep her.

god damn interns.

you got that report?

of course.

aah!

lance thought he unplugged
the shredder,

but instead,
he unplugged the copier.

oh, god!

this boy's
not smart.

rosy, i bought this.
will you sign it

and send it to everyone
in the office?

i sure will.

peter derns' office.

i'm on my way to lunch
with charlene.

let's do some calls.
who do we have?

your estranged,
geoff gordahl, ed rossi,

and i just hung up
with dr. feldman.

well, get me sharon.

peter derns calling
for dr. feldman.

dr.
jekyll. hello, peter.

kris, you can
get off now.

ron,
how are you?

wonderful. more importantly,
how are you?

seen mr. hyde lately?

no, thank god.

things are going well, personally, professionally.

any recurrence
of the paranoia?

you don't need to have something traumatic happen

before you come see me.

i have an opening
this afternoon.

ron, i believe i'm ready to see sharon outside therapy.

i think it's time.

saw each
other last week.

felt pretty good.

how was new york?

bart foods was evasive about me being here next year.

they're trying to
replace me with roger.

that's ridiculous.
what are they thinking?

it's just my latest
battlefield, peter.

sexism. cronyism.

now it's ageism.

if they think i'm going
down without a fight,

they're mistaken.

cappuccino, noreen.

yes, ma'am.
sir?

uh, nothing, thanks.

they don't realize
roger is a time bomb.

he's terrible
under pressure.

even when
he does move up,

someone will have
to take his place.

i'll be honest with you.
new york likes jack.

he plays their game.

a game without rules.

like you did when
you first came aboard.

you may not like it now,
but it works.

i guess
i got human on you.

here's hoping jack blows
a hole in his gut

and his marriage fails.

there's nothing worse
than a reformed whore.

don't be fooled by
company day-care centers

and in-house
yoga breaks.

people still stab
you in the back,

just like they did
in the eighties.

now they just smile
when they do it.

i've had more knives stuck in me than julius caesar.

i'm very impressed with
your new packaging idea.

a big heart on
a square jar. good.

it could be love.
it could be health.

i love it.
thanks, noreen.

kris must've
told you about this.

yes. yesterday.

she's a fellow
alumnus of mine.

she graduated
from stanford.

did you know that?

yes. of course.

morning, peter.

kris,
we have to talk.

your mother called
and thanked you

for the brooch you sent
her for her birthday.

shit! i forgot!

it was on the rolodex--

you went
behind my back.

you told charlene
about heart-smart.

i gave you
credit for it.

tell me something,
kris.

what's a stanford grad doing working as a temp?

ahem.

it doesn't look so good

going through five jobs
in one year,

so i enter as a temp.

if i don't like the company
i'm working for,

i go to the next gig without
covering my resume in white-out.

oh.

we marry our jobs.

i want to be sure
about the job i marry.

but i don't have
to look anymore.

i finally found somewhere
where i fit in.

really?

where do you see yourself in, uh...

10 years?

the only thing
i care about,

my only priority,

is serving my boss in the best,
most efficient way possible.

what's this i hear

about bart moving jack up
to v.p. instead of you?

jesus, you get around,
don't you?

fuck.

no, no...

let me see.

it's that
god-damned jack.

he's on his way to the seventh floor,
not me.

looks like you hooked up
with the wrong guy.

i hooked up with the right,
the nice guy.

well, we all know
where nice guys finish.

is there anything
else i can do?

yeah.
why don't you make a note for next week

to ice jack hartsell?

yes, mr. derns.

orc-1267.

hydrogenated
soybean oil,

no cholesterol,

oatmeal,
riboflavin,

soy lecithin
as emulsifier.

have it ready by
the end of next month.

that's too soon.

i'm not asking you
to splice dna!

you just do it!

lighten up. we're in
the cookie business.

you all right?

yes. thank you.

it's missing something.

it's missing molasses.

my grandmother used to put a pinch of molasses

in her cookies.

it made them taste
better, more chewy.

darling, i think it's
a little late for that.

besides, adding molasses would be cost prohibitive.

actually...

molasses would be
a lot cheaper

than the chemicals
we put in our product

to make them taste
like molasses.

i checked it out.

what's more, molasses makes us more organic,
more homemade.

she checked it out.

why don't you
check it out?

what is with
her anyway?

nice rental, derns.

well, it's temporary until i find
something more permanent.

hey, you're
the real estate agent.

anything out there
i might like?

there's a house on the corner of harper's ferry

you might be
interested in--

four-bedroom,
three-bath.

the yard needs
a little work, though.

my gardener
moved out.

nathan is very excited about basketball camp.

he wants
a new pair of shoes.

a pair of, uh...

pump--
pump up the volume?

i don't know.
air something.

could this visit
be about money?

well, i could have called you to ask for it.

but i want
to see you.

listen, i'll see
what i can do,

but the promotion
i was banking on

hasn't come through yet.

i'm not here
to pressure you.

well,
he may have to settle

for some plain
basketball shoes

with solid rubber soles.

i was going
to call you today

to see if you want
to have dinner this week.

o.k.

really?

mm-hmm. yeah.

great.

um, i don't have
my book on me.

o.k. all right.

well, then, uh...

i'll have my secretary
call your secretary.

o.k.

bye.

goodbye.

...a single day since
the emergency was declared

a few months ago.

now for our
kfvd traffic report,

here's patty finley.

there's
a stalled vehicle

in the right-hand lane
of 5 northbound.

lots of rubberneckers
slowing down to look.

so avoid that area
if you can, dan.

you're listening to
kfvd all-news radio.

i'm dan randall.

arson was blamed
as the cause

of the fire which destroyed
two large warehouses

in downtown tacoma
early this morning.

the blaze involved
six fire companies

and covered
two city blocks.

it took almost
four hours to combat...

jack.

jesus!

i feel...

i feel terrible.

i mean, considering--

considering
the other day?

the wish being father
to the thought?

don't beat yourself up

over an unfortunate
coincidence.

mmm.

any thought to who might
take jack's place?

someone from new york.

or sara.

sara.

really.

i told him
to wait outside.

so, how is it working
in an aquarium?

give me that.

got a test market
planned at barney's, huh?

yeah,
like i'd tell you.

what are you
doing here?

you haven't heard?

you've been replaced.

by me.

no!

got you, babe.

just in
the neighborhood.

thought i'd stop by
and say hi.

hi.

want some coffee?

so, who's taking jack's place now
he's been kicked downstairs?

we don't know yet.

kris, could you get me the strategy for orc-1237?
thanks.

i really like what
you've done here.

yeah.
it's very old world.

go for it, pete.

she's worth losing
your job over.

oh, wait up.
i'm coming, too.

this is new.

old, but it's
making a comeback.

why don't we stop
by kell's for a drink?

it might
help you unwind.

thanks, but i've got
grocery shopping to do.

i guess one drink
wouldn't hurt.

that she needed a man who
would put family before work.

i took that to mean she'd already found one.

now, one night i followed sharon to his place.

i could hear them
laughing inside.

nervous laughter.

so i tried to barge in,

the door was locked,
so i kicked it open.

sure enough,

i caught sharon with
him and his wife.

you caught sharon in the bedroom with another couple?

actually, it was
the dining room.

their kids were
there, too.

her boss was having
her over for dinner.

yeah. she tossed
me out after that.

and those kinds of episodes just kept happening.

i mean, my jealousy
just consumed me.

turned me into mr. hyde.

i would imagine
the worst shit.

why'd you
get so jealous?

poor role models.

your father was a cheat.

no. no, no.

my mother.

at least jealousy
shows passion.

don't you find
that you respond

to someone who cares desperately about something?

anything?

h-how did you
and your husband meet?

at work.

he was my boss.

when i was in school,

i had a part-time job
at hewlett-packard.

we got pregnant, married,
and fell in love,

in that order.

he got laid off.
i started filling in.

well, he's lucky
to have you.

i hope
he knows that.

sometimes i wonder
if he does.

sometimes i wonder
what it would be like

to be with another man.

i used to imagine
sharon and another man

sitting in a bar,
both complaining about their marriages,

conspiring a secret rendezvous at some cheap motel.

and i was sitting where
your husband is now.

i was waiting for you
to come home.

maybe someday
i won't be married.

kris, i don't get involved
with my assistants.

maybe someday i won't
be your assistant.

hey! what are
you doing here?

i'm waiting for you
to score at happy hour

so we can have dinner.

but dinner's
tomorrow night!

is this
bringing back memories?

it was tonight!

is that the one you're buying all the jewelry for?

what?

god damn it!

at least you could
have been more discreet,

but using our account
at jacob brothers?

jesus!

fuck.

it all starts with
the dry cleaning.

then you're running him to the airport,
doing his christmas shopping.

you don't nip it
in the bud,

you'll be
changing his oil.

it's a wonder they can pee
without us holding it.

i said, "screw it.
no more working for a man."

peter and i have a wonderful relationship.

kris,
can we talk?

now.

honeymoon's over,
sweet pea.

something wrong?

yes, i'd say something's definitely wrong.

you charged a watch on my account at jacob brothers.

i can explain.

all right.

i went to pick up that
brooch for your mother,

and i saw a watch
i had to have.

i didn't have
any cards on me...

peter, i'm sorry,
but i'm not stupid.

of course i was going
to pay you back.

look! i even
wrote out a check!

that bill goes to the house,
to sharon.

and you even got our
dinner date wrong.

i never get dates wrong!

perhaps your estranged
got the date wrong!

don't kid yourself.

you're going to
have to fire her.

she's screwing up any chance of
your getting back with sharon.

you do want to move back into that house,
don't you?

kris, you've been
an incredible help.

for a while there,
you were a savior.

but i think you need a job
that's more challenging,

something that
gives you more leeway...

more input.

kris, i'm afraid we're going to have to part ways.

i know.

you know?

i knew yesterday after what
happened with the watch.

kris, i'm
going to miss you.

i'll just
be down the hall.

come again?

peter,
can you believe it?

they made me
a marketing manager.

an executive.

i made it!

it's all thanks to you.

i've heard
of meteoric rises,

but this
is ridiculous!

just because
kris' is a woman--

sara deserves it
more that kris!

you have to admit the molasses thing was a killer.

charlene gave kris credit for changing the appleby logo.

oh, god!

that locked it up
for bart.

they want an infusion
of new blood.

i may not
kiss ass like her,

but i'm going
to start kicking it!

is kris in line
for a v.p. slot?

it's a level
playing field.

the best-- the best person wins.

she's got
a hidden agenda, rog.

don't we all?

just let it go,
all right?

i'll be glad when
this project is over.

i meant what i said...

none of this would've happened if it wasn't for you.

oh, well...

thanks.

open it.

no more paper cuts.

thanks.

but, you know,
you really didn't have to--

i didn't.

i charged it to you.

how was
your first day?

it was great.

let's break in my new expense account over dinner.

it's mrs. derns.

excuse me.

hi. i just wanted
to tell you

nathan loved his sneakers.

and the pearls
were a nice touch.

kris.

could you excuse me?

i thought we'd
head to albert's,

break open some oysters.

maybe we'd
find some more.

uh, let me
call you right back.

kris?

hello. did you know mrs.
appleby is baking cookies now?

my husband likes
baker mills macaroons,

but i suppose
i could try one.

i really shouldn't.

for a limited time only,

oatmeal raisin classic

comes in this
traditional cookie jar.

oatmeal raisin classics
are low in cholesterol,

which means they're not
only good tasting,

but they're good
for you, too.

mmm.

aah!

the boys in manhattan
are going to love this.

i bet it was glass
from that damn cookie jar.

i should never have let you
talk me into it. roger!

it wasn't the container.
the jars are plastic.

we have to stop
the bleeding.

o.k. roger...

yes?

contact legal.

ready them for an avalanche
of lawsuits.

peter, talk to the cops
and the bakeries.

kris, prepare a statement saying
appleby is doing everything

to get to the bottom
of this.

i thought
i handled media.

kris is camera-friendly.

you know, just pray
that our factory is cleared

of any negligence.

because if appleby
is to blame,

new york is going
to come looking

for sacrificial lambs.

and i promise you,

it won't be me.

you come with me.

this business is going to put me in an early grave.

media is radio
and television...

still think the playing field is level?

appleby
and the hillsboro police

are conducting
a thorough investigation

into the incident
at barney's.

as a precautionary
measure,

bart foods has taken
all appleby products

off the shelves.

we are confident
that this situation

should be resolved
in a few days.

what are you saying?
that kris sabotaged the market test?

are you out
of your mind?

i am asking who gains
and who loses from this.

the winner's going
to be kris bolin.

i needn't tell you
who the losers will be.

you're crazy.

stop saying that.

what about your buddy at baker mills?

i've seen him hanging around here a lot.

brad plays tough,
but--it's someone in this company.

if i had told charlene
about your theory,

god knows what she'd
do with you, peter!

you've got
this problem--

had! i had this problem!

i had...

this problem.

it's all right.

pull! yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes!

yes, yes, yes! pull!

pull!

no!

come on!

come on!

come on!

pull!

pull!

pull!
pull!

whoa, whoa!

come on, pull!
come on!

go! go!

you should have had your wheaties this morning.

bart takes in 50 trillion
a year,

and we get hot dogs.

we sell oatmeal
and shrapnel cookies.

what do you expect?

how come we never see
kris' family?

daughter's sick.
her husband's babysitting.

who are you
to tell me anything?

hi.

roger said you wanted
to talk to me.

why don't you come in
for a swim?

the water's
a little cold.

it could use
some warming up.

thank you.

we used to come
to a lake like this

in high school.

on senior ditch day.

my boyfriend and i
would go for a swim...

drift away from shore.

then i'd pull off
his trunks.

he'd take off
my bikini.

we'd fuck underwater.

everyone on shore
was drinking beer

and playing
frisbee...

watching us.

and nobody knew
what we were doing.

we just looked like two lovers embracing.

wouldn't it be fun

if we did the same thing
right here, right now?

in front of roger, charlene, god,
and everybody?

wouldn't that
just be a trip?

what's the verdict,
larry?

clean. not even
a cockroach.

the health department was
with us every step of the way.

great. thanks.
roger's going to be pumped.

yeah, bye.

we are entrenched
in a terrible quagmire

of negative publicity

and political infighting

as a result
of the recent episode

but the unfortunate
incident cannot be blamed...

or the bakery,

but must be shouldered

by the person in charge.

my sincerest apologies
to my loved ones...

rog?

and co-workers.

to all concerned...

we are entrenched
in a terrible quagmire...

rog?

of negative publicity

and political
infighting

as a result of the recent
episode at barney's.

but the unfortunate
incident

cannot be blamed
on lower management

but must be shouldered
by the person in charge.

my sincerest apologies

to my loved ones...

to all concerned...

we are entrenched
in a terrible quagmire

of negative publicity

and political infighting

as a result of the recent episode at barney's.

aah!

we are gathered
together here

to commit the ashes
of roger jasser

to the winds and to the valley and the river.

in case you haven't
noticed,

we're running out
of executives around here.

with oatmeal raisin classic
so close to breaking,

bart foods is reluctant
to bring somebody in

from the outside,

so i'm talking to you
and a few others

about the position today.

i'm ready
if you need me,

but to be honest,

it's not exactly foremost on my mind.

i appreciate
your honesty, peter.

we're all
a little shaken up.

in the meantime,
the business at hand, huh?

next week, bill lives
and john steele

will be back in town.

i want you
to show them around,

let them know
that we're in control.

we are in control,
aren't we?

mm-hmm.

o.k.

last one to the executive suite's a rotten egg.

competitive situations
like these...

can test a friendship.

i hope when all is said
and done,

you and i
are still friends.

tell me something, kris.

were you and roger
sleeping together?

no. charlene and i are.

i go straight
to the top.

she's fucking with me.

who, sharon?

nah, somebody who knows me
better than a spouse--

my god damn secretary--
or former secretary.

kris? are you sure, man?

all right, pete,
don't get mad at me,

but you've had these kinds
of suspicions before,

and they've pretty much
blown up in your face.

i mean, sharon,
case in point, right?

oh, you think
i don't know that?

it's driving me nuts.

you just be careful.

you accuse your ex-secretary of sabotage,

you better make sure
you're right.

better have proof.

come to me.
come on, slick.

what are you doing?

huh?

foul.

what are you doing?

i was looking for a file.
what are you doing?

i heard a noise.

from your office?

i'm not the one
that got caught

with my hands
in the cookie jar.

come on, you have
doubts about her, too.

don't put words
in my mouth.

is there a problem
with your temporary?

is she not performing
her duties?

no, i just want to know
about her.

is there
a hygiene problem?

no, actually, her hygiene
is above average.

uh, kristen bolin.
here.

her last job was for ted fine at redmont savings

in eugene, uh,
february 1991.

ted fine died?

that's terrible.

dumb shit goes swimming
after a triple bypass.

doesn't take his nitro
with him.

his fault.

you know, um...

we used to have these horrendous fights over ted.

i, um,
i accused her of sleeping with him.

in his wet dreams.

he tried like hell.

only reason kris put up
with it

was because he promised

to get her into the management training program.

me?
i'd have clocked him.

teddy promoted that college intern he was--hmm-hmm--

doing the dirty deed
with.

kris really wigged
out about that.

huh.

i'm sorry, mr. derns.

she went to go work out
at the club.

when will she be back?

she didn't say.

what are you doing here?

you're supposed to be
at your son's game.

shit.

that's o.k. that's o.k.

how's he doing?

great. you missed
the first half.

someone at appleby told charlene about feldman.

who?

kris, my former assistant.
come on, nathe!

maybe next time
you'll think twice

before you fuck
your secretary.

i didn't.

god damn it, i...

you think i'd be telling you about this if i was?

i'm trying to make this work.
you know that.

why would she do it?

she wants to be
my boss.

you sure?

no, i'm not sure
about any--

i'm not sure
about anything.

that's the whole
problem.

i'm absolutely positively sure about nothing.

maybe you should talk
to feldman.

just touch base with him.
talk about it.

look, i got to go.
i'm sorry.

peter!

your priorities haven't really changed,
have they?

ahem. ahem.

uh, water. anything.

hi.

so, um...

thanks.

you're welcome.

$4.00.

hey! what the hell
are you doing?

you better run,
you pervert!

chicken shit
peeping tom!

i landed him
a good one.

someone...

i don't know who yet...

someone in this company

is leaking
marketing strategy

to our competitors.

baker mills is doing
a knockoff

of our oatmeal line

right down
to the packaging!

and they're introducing
the product

one week before ours!

i find this to be more
than just a coincidence.

someone here...
is going to pay.

never seen
charlene so angry.

she sounds like she's going off the deep end.

heads are going
to roll.

your good buddy brad--
sure he can be trusted?

now that you mention it,

maybe i ought
to check it out.

he sure had quite
the run

of your office
that day.

i was wondering
if you and your family

would like to come over
for dinner tonight.

we have plans.

o.k., fine. how about
tomorrow night?

what happened
to your head?

hurt it
playing basketball.

mark has a late meeting.

friday night.

this weekend's bad.

my, my. if you and i
weren't friends,

i'd think you were
trying to put me off.

you, uh,
you do have

a husband and daughter,
don't you?

this wasn't something you just created

to fit
the appleby image?

what's the problem?
i'm inviting your family to dinner.

you say not tonight,
not--

they left me, o.k.?

mark and lizzie
left me!

easy. take it easy.

i have to go to court to get my daughter back!
are you happy?

nice going, derns.

um, hey, dad,
this is nathan.

bye.

yo, it's brad.

sorry we keep playing
phone tag.

you're it.

hello, who is this?

you want to go through
my messages?

let me fuckin'
play them back for you!

no sign
of forced entry.

my former secretary
may have had keys made.

you want her name,
address?

for rearranging
your furniture?

nothing's missing,
right?

what am i
supposed to do?

change the locks.
i like what she did, though.

works for me.

ha ha!

fuck.

let's take the stairs.

what's going on?

huh?

bitch fucked me
out of my promotion.

what goes around
comes around.

kris bolin never
went to stanford.

how do you know?

why do you think i was in her office that night?

cute picture of you
in her desk.

what did you find out?

charlene has her degree from stanford on her wall.

why not kris?

if i'd gone
to stanford,

my degree would
be spotlighted.

plenty of people don't
display their diplomas.

of course, but it
got me thinking,

so the next day
i did some digging

and called
human resources.

two years at delta junior college in california.

no request for a credit transfer to stanford.

what's going on?

we were just about
to ask you that.

you have the recipe
for prototype ca-1245

in your menu.

wha-what?

the recipe
for chewy almond.

well, i wouldn't even begin to know how to understand

to get information on product ca-- whatever-it-is.

but you have acquaintances

i'm not selling secrets, charlene.

well, what are you doing?
what's going on?

you have been acting
like an insane person!

someone's trying
to destroy me!

kris bolin never
went to stanford.

sara checked.

go home.

no! this is crazy!

go home, peter.

don't come in until
you hear from me.

excuse me.
she's on the phone, mr. der--

i just wanted to thank you
for going easy on me.

at least i won't end up
like jack or ted fine.

what are you
talking about?

what does ted have
to do with anything?

you're absolutely right.

ted fine has nothing to do
with anything anymore.

he's dead.

ted died?

oh...

look at her.
she is amazing.

you are amazing.

are you real good
in the water, kris?

did you ditch his nitro,
get him hot? huh?

till he popped a spring?

you're talking nonsense!

stop doing this!

stop lying!

let her go.

stop it! i know
what you're doing!

stop lying to me!

i know everything
about you.

you're working
too hard.

maybe you need
a vacation!

she's a liar!

hey, you done
with the phone?

dr. feldman's office...

i'm talking
to you.

if this is an emergency,
please call 555-9254.

hey!

hey, i said
something--

hey! man!

hey, come on!
take it easy!

ohh!

let go of me!

lay off him!

what the hell
is wrong with you?

hey... as if
you don't know?

all right, come on.
come on, come on.

let's get some coffee.

how about some
$4.00 mineral water?

why don't you tell me what the
fuck you and kris were doing

at the sports club
yesterday?

oh, jeez, that's what
this is about?

all right, all right.

the woman was asking
about job openings.

a lot of shit's

gone down at appleby,
so she thought--

she thought maybe
if she passed you

a little
inside information--

oh, come on.
let's just stop it.

you're way
off base here.

take no prisoners,
isn't that what you said?

take no
fucking prisoners!

you're out of your
fucking mind!

you're scaring me.
you're out of your mind!

the thought
has occurred to me.

it's also occurred to me that you'd like my job.

isn't that what
you're cooking up?

god damn it, i was
trying to get laid!

that's why you want sharon and me back together--

so you can
fuck kris.

shut up, because
you're fucking up

a perfectly good
friendship.

after kris, is it
going to be sharon?

you!

you're
blowing it, man!

you're blowing it!

i can't take this
shit anymore, man.

here. get yourself
a god damn cab.

i don't need
your god damn money.

hey!

i'm sorry.

ohh...

uhh.

what?

peter?

charlene would like to see you in her office at 10 a.m.

bart foods considers
breaches of security

grounds for
immediate dismissal.

realizing the gravity
of the situation,

i hope you'll be
understanding and, uh...

accept our apology.

r and d mistakenly sent ca-1245
to the marketing managers

instead of a memo
they wanted you to read.

david toy knew
1245 was classified.

it jumped out at him

when he saw it
in your system,

and we jumped
all over you.

i'm sorry if it
caused you undue stress.

uh...

fortunately,
kris alerted r and d

to their mistake.

kris bolin?

if it hadn't
been for her,

i might have fired my
newest vice president.

congratulations, peter.

you're on
the seventh floor.

the boys in new york
want you in salem

to oversee production of oatmeal raisin classic

to make sure everything
runs smoothly.

deliver on this, peter.

don't worry
about a thing.

rosemary has booked you and
kris into the silver trail inn.

you leave
thursday morning.

don't you think sara has
more production experience?

sara's in michigan.

i had bart
transfer her

to their frozen vegetable subsidiary.

sara was always
sticking her nose

into other people's
business,

and we don't
need that.

don't you agree?

i'm aware that you and kris have had your difficulties.

it's time to
bury the hatchet.

good morning, peter.
congratulations.

thanks, marla.

she wants to know if she can
finish cleaning this afternoon.

she cut her hand the other day and
left before the job was finished.

oh, yeah.

well, she knows
where the key is.

it's clearing.

yeah...

it sure is.

i'm sorry about your
family leaving you.

i'll bet
your husband said

you loved your job
more than him.

he was right.

but is that any reason
to kidnap my daughter,

to take her from me
in the middle of the night

and never let me
see her again?

it was her birthday
yesterday.

she turned 3.

what's wrong?

the brakes.

pull over!

where?

what's wrong?

your bleeder screws
were loose.

you've been leaking
brake fluid.

what?

yeah.
someone's been tampering with your brakes.

someone tried to kill us?

yeah.

thanks.

why did you tell charlene you went to stanford?

i wouldn't have if i knew she
would hire me for my ability

rather than how many
sheepskins i had.

while you were in school
studying flow charts,

i had two jobs
and a kid to raise.

every job i've ever had,

i've known more
about the business

than the boss who's
grabbing my ass.

where did it get me?

i saved your neck
yesterday.

even after you accused me of killing people...

even after
charlene told me

you got promoted
instead of me...

i still saved your neck.

let's talk about it
tomorrow.

front desk.

is there a message
for 201?

uh, yes, mr. derns.

i have it here
for you somewhere.

a lady called for you.

what lady?

hold on.

wait a minute.
here it is.

charlene towne.
she called from her car,

and she said that
she got your message.

what message?

about the emergency
at the bakery.

she left portland
to meet you there.

kris!

charlene!

kris!

uhh!

aah!

what happened?

someone hit me.

who?

jesus.

charlene.

ohh!

ohh!

no!

peter, help!

oh!

aah!

oh!

aah!

the pictures...

aah!

peter...

nathan has something
he'd like to ask you.

what's that?

can you come
to my birthday party?

it's on friday.

well, i have to be
in new york on friday.

but you know what?

i'll get out of it.

i have to get
back to work.

thanks for lunch.

sure.

and i'm sorry.

bye.

new york likes your survivalist qualities, peter.

they feel it will
offset your relative...

inexperience.

even though you're currently interim president,

i'd like to
make you permanent.

thanks, bill.

what are you doing?

just clearing out
her desk.

where'd she get these?

that came with the frame--
$9.95 from thrifty's.

i bought them for her.

why?

i'll get
the coffee started.

here's the first
week's report

on the oatmeal
raisin classic.

it looks to be
a big success.

congratulations.

kris.

these are the pictures
charlene was talking about.

i didn't call her
and tell her

there was an emergency
at the bakery.

you did...
on my behalf.

you were going
to kill her,

pin the murder on me,

because she was onto you,
wasn't she?

she knew you didn't
go to stanford,

she knew you lied
about having a family,

and you weren't going
to rise any higher here

as long as charlene
was around.

i was going to tell you about the picture.

i always keep one
on my desk

to fend away
office hounds.

lots of girls do,

or they wear
wedding rings.

you always have an answer.

come again?

you always have an answer.

why don't you save them
for someone else?

peter...

we're not going to go through this again,
are we?

no, kris, we're not.

as president,

it's time i start
delegating some authority.

rosemary, call the police

and have security make sure miss
bolin doesn't leave the building.

yes, mr. derns.

thanks.

one more thing, kris.
clean out your desk.

you're fired.