All language subtitles for E.B.C.S01E10.Superman Stole My Panties

- Hello everyone, and
welcome to Erotic Book Club,

the book club where we read erotic books.

I am your host Jess Ross.

With me for the first time,

is my lovely fiance, Kaitlin Thompson.

- Hi, hi, I'm Kait.

- Rekha could not be here
today, she is filming

a super secret fun project for DROPOUT.

So we have Kaitlin here.
- Yeah!

- Yeah, you may remember
her from Vikings and Peace,

the blanket story, this is her.

- Oh yeah, yeah.

Fun, right?

Thank you so much for
being here, for listening.

Thank you for being here,
thank you for being here.

You may be listening, wherever
you listen to podcasts,

you may be watching on CH2 on YouTube,

or our favorite way for you to
be joining us is on DROPOUT.

If you subscribe to
DROPOUT, not only do you get

to listen to this first,
two weeks in advance,

but you also get to check
out all the other cool stuff

we have on there.

Troopers just launched,
which is really fun

and exciting, that's one
of our biggest series,

and the director of Troopers is here,

who you'll meet in just a moment.

We also have Paranoia coming out,

Ally's new show, so that's very exciting,

and another great part about DROPOUT

is you get to be on the Discord.

It is a channel where you
get to talk to us directly,

and it really makes you
feel like you're a part

of our Erotic Book Club, so I have some

of our book club members,
some little quotes

from them from the Discord.

Chloe said, Ah, the Alfie
ep was so very good.

My inner D and D nerd was, oh, crap,

I can't read my own handwriting.

Retching at some of the
very wrong halfling facts,

but I did laugh my ass off.

There was a lot of comments
that the halfling facts

were incorrect, I publicly apologize.

Had I known Tao had such little knowledge

of halflings, I would
have never allowed him

to sit on my luscious chairs.

So my apologies, sincerely.

Cody G., this was about
the average penis size

discussion that we had, we thought,

around five to seven.

I'm screaming, that's
pretty wildly inaccurate.

That's some porn shit right there.

Laugh my ass off.

And as soon as I read that, I was like,

oh, I bet there's a lot of things

that I think are facts but aren't.

So you're right, Cody G.

- Is anybody taking your fact,

like, is that, nobody's fact checking you

on top of that?
- You mean, in the company?

Yeah.

- No, they let me say whatever I want.

I'm sorry for all the wild inaccuracies

of our highly educational podcast.

And then Jimbulls, if you get DROPOUT

for no other reason, please get it

for this beautiful fan
art that Jimballs made

in the Alfie episode, which was a big hit

and people are asking for a second one,

and we're gonna do that,
'cause it sounds fun.

But Jimball's created this beautiful pic

of Alfie's gaping asshole
and put the first picture

of a black hole inside of it,

and it's just divine, so
please subscribe to DROPOUT,

get over there, and I keep an eye

on the CH2 comments as
well, from Aliyah E.,

on the stress treatment episode,

since that came out a bit later.

I wish I were a sexy lesbian doctor.

I love this podcast so much.

Thank you, and I wish that for you too.

Good luck.
- Some day.

- Some day, if you keep trying,

you can make anything come true.

- Enroll in lesbian medical school.

- Enroll in lesbian--
- Eight years?

- Yeah, so that leads
us to today's discussion

of Superman Stole My
Panties by kissmyoops.

You know, we needed to
bring in some experts

to really delve into this one,

so we are so lucky to have with us today

a forensics expert, which
is a big part of the story.

We have with us my dear friend Alex.

- Hello, yes, I am a
expert in forensic science.

And I look forward to maybe illuminating

some of the tactics used by
the bad guys in this book.

- Thank you.
- Which I don't like

to call it a book.
- Yeah, yeah.

- It's a blog.

- It's generous to call
it a book, for sure.

- Yeah, and then over here,
we have our superhero expert,

Ryan.
- I'm screaming,

like that comment.
- Yeah, screaming already,

internally.
- I'm screaming.

I'm very much a comic expert,

even though my knowledge comes

from mostly movies.
- Sure.

That's where comics were born.

- Yes, and there's no way to check

if I am or am not an expert, so I am.

- Wonderful.

If you did not have the joy of
reading this potential book,

I'll share with you
some of the characters.

We have, of course, in
the title, Superman,

which is, we'll get into
that, if he's even Superman.

We have Donovan, a guy
who works at McDonald's,

with our leading lady
and panty owner, Avery.

We also have Avery's grandma,
who plays a very big role,

we have Karen, Avery's
shrill BFF, Avery's words.

We have Josh, her ex.

We have Jake, who I forgot to write down,

who is her future potential boyfriend.

- He's a boyfriend by the end of it.

- And Bentley, who's a bit
of a bad boy of the story.

So our story begins, we,

it's a news report about a crime

that has happened in town.

There's some type of robbery,
somebody's fleeing the scene,

but we also catch
glimpses of our superhero,

Superman, but he's not quite Superman.

He's in all black.

- He's dressed like a criminal.

Yeah, he is
dressed like a criminal.

- Yeah, he's the bad guy.

- He has a mask on,
with then a green slash

on his back, so he's wearing an outfit,

but there's an outfit underneath, as well.

- And they couldn't
tell if it was his skin

that was green--
- Yes.

- Or if it was some sort of fabric.

- Yeah.

- And that never gets addressed.

- If he was as lizard person, or--

- Yeah--
- His face and his hands

seem to not also be green.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Is that common for Superman more?

- No, he's famously not green.

- Her very first note on
this page is Superman, green?

- Green kryptonite is
his biggest weakness,

so I feel like, even though it's not,

they're not presenting that as kryptonite,

but it's just, it is like,
remarkably not Superman.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Anti-Superman.
- Hmm, interesting.

- I mean, I would venture to
say that this does not look

like any superhero that exists.

- What about the Green Lantern?

- He's fully green.
- What?

- He's got black, but he's got,

I guess he's got green throughout,

you know, and he's got
the green glow-y ring

that you can't miss, I don't know.

- This guy had no rings, to my knowledge.

- I mean, I guess she was trying to go

for a unique look of a superhero.

- But then she called him Superman.

- Well, in that case, she's nailed it.

- In that case.

- If she was going for a
unique look, crushed it.

Okay.
- Perplexing.

- So the news report is happening.

Then, above in the rafters
of the news studio,

we see that the Green Slash Superman

is watching all of this happen,

and he refers to himself as a freak,

a reject, a nobody with
a strange mutation.

- Freaky, but not it.

But doesn't he, is this
where he clarifies,

it's not a physical mutation,
it's an internal one?

- Yes.
- Internal, yeah.

- Yes.
- An internal--

- Still physical.

- I wanted to unpack that for a second.

- Sure, of course.

- So in, okay.

So an internal mutation,
not being physical still,

where is the space internal
that he's referring to?

- Alex, I don't even
know what you're asking.

- His soul.
- In the soul?

- The inside of his shirt.
- His soul?

- He's dark.
- His what?

- The inside of his shirt.
- The inside of his shirt,

yes, but it's slashed, so.

- It's referring to how
his shirt got messed up

and slashed.
- Oh, okay.

- He meant to say inside.

- That makes sense--
- Shirt inside.

- Thank you for clarifying that.

This is why we have--
- Experts.

- Experts here.
- And--

- Then we, that chapter ends.

Then we meet our leading lady, Avery.

She works at McDonald's.

She has a coworker named Donovan,

and they have a very
flirtatious relationship.

But in kind of, not like a cutesy way.

It's just flat out, do you
wanna go in my car and fuck?

- It's immediately graphic, yeah.

- I need to unload.

I believe is what he said to
her, while clocked in at work.

- And it wasn't like a pun about, like,

we have product that we
need to unload or something.

It wasn't like while they were doing that.

- Which would be acceptable at work,

if it's a pun, fine.

- My balls are full.

They need to unload.

- Dude, this is like her, well,

she also talks about her manager Ronnie,

her being at the register,

the reason was because I was a cute face

paying customers liked to see,

and too inexperienced to
handle the drive-through

at dinnertime, and she says,

I was satisfied with the former,

but annoyed with the
latter, to say the least.

So like.
- Yeah.

- She's like, she makes a lot of excuses

for some shit that the dudes say

throughout the whole story.

Everyone, her employer and coworker,

her, every love interest or potential--

- We can get into, this was a
very difficult book to read.

It was long, was one thing, but also,

I think this person's, maybe
understanding of the world

felt a little off, and then we did

come to the conclusion
that maybe this was written

by a teenager.
- 100,

I'm like 99% sure that this girl is 16.

- Reading it through those eyes, yeah.

- Yeah, and looking at it
from that point of view,

it's like, it makes total sense.

And it is like an encapsulation

of what being a teenage
girl is like in 2011

when this was written, like,

she puts up with a lotta shit

and feels a lotta guilt for stuff

and is still perplexed by being attracted

to these guys who also
scare the shit out of her

and gaslight her and fucking, like,

just make her feel like garbage.

And yeah, man, I think,

I think like, it's obviously
a really enthusiastic author

who produced a ton of pages for this,

is writing and writing,
and does a lot of things

really successfully, but
just her point of view

is still very narrow to, I don't know,

her high school and like, that's, for her,

I'm sure that this is her experience.

I'm sure that this is some shit

that dudes have really said,

'cause dudes have said similar shit

like this to me, at work, you know?

I worked with creeps
who say shit like that.

- They needed to unload?
- They needed to unload.

- A lot, especially in high school,

especially if you're working at, like,

I worked at a
that was like this, herb,

you know, another like,
that's just where I was.

I worked at a coffee shop that was, sorry.

I worked at a coffee shop where

that was the general demeanor of a dude

who was a manager there.
- Damn.

- And he would, yeah.

Like, this shit, you encounter this shit.

- Oh, at a coffee shop, they want to see

a pretty face up front?

- I mean, that's like the kind of stuff

that this dude would say.

It was probably around the
same time, like 2011, also.

- Whoa.

- I was like a little older--

- Did you write this?

- I'm kissmyoops.

- Oh, ooh.
- Oh, wow.

- K for Kait.
- No.

- Wow.
- Kaity for Kiss.

- I wanna distance
myself far, far, far away

from any claim of having written this.

- It's too late, we're
cutting that part out.

- Hey, freaky.

- So there, yeah, a bit of
sexism happening at work,

a lot of sexual harassment
happening at work.

But Donovan, overall, doesn't
seem like he's a terrible guy.

- No.

- So, a man is in the McDonald's.

He has had an issue with his order.

He thinks his drink is wrong,

and then he ordered French
fries and didn't get them.

This escalates very quickly
into him grabbing Avery

and holding a gun to her head,

which was horrifying.

This part was so scary.

Luckily, there's a slash green man in town

who comes in--
- Slash Greenman.

- Slash from Guns N' Roses?
- Yeah.

- Comes in, takes him out,

and then the day, and then
leaves, just as quickly.

No one knows quite what happened.

And then Avery sits on Donovan's lap

while the police take their,

could you imagine, after
you've just been attacked,

sitting on somebody's lap and
then talking to the police

about what happened?
- For, like hours, too.

I think they waited until
the sun came up or something.

- Yeah, I mean, I guess it
was supposed to be comforting,

but I would just find that
very, I'd be like, ma'am--

- All these other empty seats--

- Sit in a chair.
- At McDonald's at 3:00 a.m.

Please.

- Yeah, everybody else
finished their food.

I still have 13 nuggets
left, I ordered a 20 piece.

- Well, I gotta finish my nuggets.

- I paid six dollars for these.

I'm not gonna not finish
13 chicken nuggets.

- I'm not going anywhere
till these things are done.

- All my sauces are open,
I can't just take them

out of the restaurant now.

- I got two honey mustards going.

I got two honey mustards.

And they charge you extra for those.

- I got four dollars
worth of sauce over here.

I'm gonna eat 'em all.

- They'd better not charge me for sauce.

- Restaurants are a big
part of this book as well.

- Huge.
- Which is something I loved

about it, they bring up
all the great chains,

Olive Garden, Red Robin--
- Friendly's.

- Friendly's.
- Yeah.

- It's not all of the great chains.

I mean, there's Red Lobster,

we're missing a lot, I think.

- They go to Red Lobster.
- They go to Red Lobster.

- They go to Red Lobster, okay.

She'd never been
before. Yeah.

- He's like, do you like seafood?

- Alex has nothing left to say.

- That was the only note.

- I wanted to make sure
that they got shouted out.

I'm gonna go.

- This had a pretty
good, so she's got some,

like pretty good writing throughout,

kind of like smattering throughout.

She's got a lot of problems with,

like a couple of problems of mixing tenses

and stuff like that, you
know, like she's a teenager,

and it's kind of like grammatical
errors, stuff like that.

Like something that, when
she goes to school for it,

they'll teach her that shit, right?

And then, but she did write, like,

sucking in air, I wrapped
my hands around my neck.

The ghost of his arm
lingered around my neck

as my heartbeat steadied out.

Like, she has some cool shit.

- It's really cool.
- Yeah.

And when I read that
line, and made a note,

I was like, that's actually

like a beautifully written sentence.

- That's like something
I'd say at a Red Lobster.

It's so gorgeous.

- Stuffing Cheddar Bay
biscuits in my face.

The ghost of his arm.

- Dipping 'em in two honey mustard.

- Yeah.
- As you did.

- Where'd you get those?

- Otherwise, they're so dry.

- She goes home, that's
when we meet grandma.

She goes up to her bedroom, grandma's--

- Can I, we don't learn
grandma's name, right?

- Well, she's just grandma.
- Just grandma.

- She's got a lot of
typical grandma things.

She has dentures she keeps
on the side of her bed,

she's old, she's sickly.

- She uses a CPAP machine.
- Oh, Avery is an orphan.

- She uses a CPAP machine?

Yes.
- She does.

- The cops didn't have an EMT look at her,

or anything like that.
- Yeah, she was fine.

- I don't know if you'd
need to, she's fine.

- She's probably faking it.

- Where's my good night hug?

Fuck you, Donovan.
- I also noticed

that they didn't dispatch a forensics crew

to analyze the scene--

- Whoa.
- The crime scene at all.

I mean, there could have
been like a spatter pattern

from the gun hitting her head, you know,

and it's, a spatter pattern is the pattern

of the blood as it hits a surface.

- Damn.
- And you can determine

the trajectory of the
weapon and the weapon used

based on the spatter pattern.

So they should have deployed that--

- I hope to God you're right.

- You learn that at
lesbian forensics school?

- Yeah, I did.
- Yeah.

- Lesbian--
- In the Isle of Lesbos,

off of Crete, off of the coast of Greece.

- It sounds beautiful--

- It's not an accredited school.

Getting that out of the way right now.

It's not accredited.

- Oh my god, this book is so long.

We gotta get our asses moving.

- Okay, sorry, sorry.

- So we get our first,
she goes up to her bedroom

to go to bed, and we
get our first encounter

with her and the Green Lantern.

He allows, or whatever
the fuck his name is.

They, him always hanging
upside down, isn't he?

- He drops in like Spider-Man.
- Yes, in this vector.

- So he's Spider-Manning
on top of her bedroom.

- And she looks up and
she goes, oh, Superman.

- Yeah, what is your expert
experience as far as--

- Does Superman typically
hang upside down?

- As an expert, is Spider-Man Superman?

- That's one of the
first things you learn,

when I went to lesbian superhero college,

was that one superhero--
- Sign me up.

- Is typically not another one.

Sometimes it does happen,
there's a lotta crossovers.

I don't think that those do,

and here's where I don't
know anything about comics.

Those are also two different properties,

like being DC and Marvel, so.

- Yeah, hmm.
- Interesting.

They don't collide often.
- But also in the way

that they're superheroes,
those are like, not,

very different dudes.
- Yeah.

Very interesting.
- He later, at one point,

she like says, like, what
are we in a comic book?

And he goes, what am I, Spider-Man?

So he says it at some point, but it's,

it's way after this moment.

- He says, his spidey sense is tingling.

- Yes, he does do that.

- Yes, he says, my
spidey sense is tingling.

- Which Spider-Man movie came
out closest to this, 2011?

What are we looking at, the third Raimi?

- I think that whole first
trilogy was already out.

- Oh yeah, yeah.
- Oh.

- I think we're in the
in between one years,

the ones that really nobody cares about.

- Yeah, it's closer to
the Andrew Garfield ones.

- Yes.
- Ugh.

- And Emma Stone.
- A dark time.

- A dark time.

And she is very frightened
that he's in her bedroom.

He visits her bedroom numerous times,

and for the bulk of them, she's terrified.

She's like, please get out, please leave.

He's basically like, go
try to tell the cops.

What are they gonna do.

It's very difficult to read.

It's scary that this young woman

has somebody in her bedroom,
and then we find out too,

she's in high school,
so we're not quite sure

of her age up until now.

And I'm like, oh my god, I
just didn't like it at all.

Not to harp on it a ton, but it's creepy.

- I mean, it happens in every chapter,

somebody says, a male
character says something creepy

and condescending, or outright insulting,

and it's like, and she's like, ugh, yeah.

And then she carries
that over and talks shit

with Karen about other
sluts in their high school,

and it's like, dude, you're
internalizing the shit big time.

- Does she like her friend Karen?

- She is so mean to Karen,
and Karen is very caring

and loving to her.
- Yeah.

She's like, I pretended
to care, as if I could.

It's like, wow.
- My shrill friend,

I could hear her
screeching as she came over

to say hello to me and
ask me how my day was.

- Yeah, maybe yeah.

Maybe if she took some time to--

- Be half as forgiving of
Karen as you are of Donovan.

Like, you know?
- Yeah, give Karen a break.

- Lay off Karen.

- So they have their first meeting--

- Although--
- And he's basically like,

I saved your life, you
kinda owe me something,

in a flirtatious way as well,
which he brings up a ton.

She doesn't owe him anything.

If someone saves your life,
that was their decision.

And you don't owe them shit.

- He wants a thanks at one point, too.

He's like, what, no thank you?

A thank you is nice.

A little ass grabbing?
- No.

Well, but I mean like,
but she hadn't said it

at that point, and he out loud
had to call her out for it.

Like, oh, you couldn't even say thanks?

- I don't know, I even think
if you save someone's life--

- But this is after he's--

- Saying, aren't you gonna say thank you,

that's still an asshole move.
- Yeah?

- Even if I've saved your
life, I'm not gonna be like,

oh--
- Oh

- I mean, it's one
thing to save your life.

- You forgetting something?
- It's another thing

to break into her house while
she's in a state of undress

and be like, and just appear upside down

in your bedroom and be like, no thanks?

It's like, Jesus Christ.

- Ugh.

- Another thing Spider-Man
said all the time.

- I know.
- What no thanks?

- Hey, what no thanks?

- He is funny.

- I get no respect, and then he pulls

his little Spider-Man collar.

- Spider collar.
- Spider collar,

Spidey collar.

She goes to school, we
meet her friend Karen.

- Karen alludes to sleeping
with a teacher, is that right?

- Yes.
- Oh yeah.

- She wants to flirt with Mr. Marx.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, there is a teacher

that she's super into.
- Yeah.

Oh, this chapter five news
coverage, version one,

all of these are version
one, just to let you know.

It features my favorite
character, Pete Vander,

a witness to the break-in
at Ricardo's Jewelry Shop.

40s, wifebeater and robe, grunts.

Reporter talk to him for 20 minutes.

- And then switches from
somebody who would wear

what he's wearing into like
a weird British sea urchin,

or street urchin-like
character when he says,

he asks him about turning
over the video to the police,

and then suddenly, his tone is.

Yah, I did, I caught some
weird stuff on it, I did.

And he has this weird like,

he has this weird way of speaking now

and for the rest of the chapter.

- How did you not read this with a,

with like a Northeast dirtbag accent?

- Because he starts to be like, oh yeah,

it was pretty weird, I guess.

I think I saw some bad guys over there.

- He's a chimney sweep now?

- Yeah, he's a chimney sweep.

- How do you spell P-R-E,
apostrophe, apostrophe, Y?

- If I'm being honest, I
did skip over this part.

There's, throughout, numerous news stories

where crimes keep happening.
- You missed out.

- The Green Slash keeps saving things.

- I mean, if I can be
honest, I got to chapter 26

of this book, and I gave up.

- There's only 28, I can't
believe it took that long.

- That's because I didn't, I'm not saying

I stopped reading it, okay?

I gave up, I was defeated by this book.

- That's interesting,
because that was some

of my favorite parts.
- Like, when you're running,

if you're running, like a marathon,

and your body gives out at 24 miles,

it's like, what are the,
those last two miles,

that doesn't mean anything.

That's where my body gave out.

- It wasn't a choice, it just happened.

- Yeah, I hit the wall, my
legs went, and I was done.

- I read this whole
thing sitting down, so I,

that didn't happen to me.
- Sitting down?

Just running.
- I was, yeah, running

a marathon when I was reading this.

- Lip was bleeding.
- That might have been

what was tiring you out.

- Shitting himself.

- She doesn't tell her
friends at school about it.

She gets more visits from him,

and she's in less and
less dress each time.

She comes out of the
shower, and he's just there.

There's one part, she's literally like,

I grasp at my towel in
fear, which was terrible.

- She says the words, against
my will a bunch of times.

She says, like, she asks him
to get out numerous times.

- His tone both worried and concerned me.

- That's one, it's like, well that's--

- I think they were going for an aesthetic

of like a Tony Stark type of dude,

like a little snarky and, yeah,

kind of tells it like it is, a bit,

but it just comes off very creepy.

- And this is where some
of my expertise comes in.

Tony Stark is not Superman or Spider-Man.

- Whoa.
- He's Iron Man.

Whoa.

- Spoilers, spoilers.
- You learn that

in the second year of that.

- Sophomore year.
- Second year of lesbian

superhero school.
- My sapphic sophomore year.

Wow us.

- In their second
meeting is when the title

of the thing comes into play.

He does steal her panties.

Oh, because also, at school,
she gets a note in her locker,

and it's a scary note.

Forensics expert, what did it say?

- It said, I bet you
would look good in red,

and it was written in red ink.

- So she gets this evil note,

and as the news stories progress,

more and more girls are dying,

so the thought is that
there's a serial killer

in town who's going after the girls,

and that this guy is going to help her.

- Yeah.
- That's a good assumption.

- So to help her, he
says, show me the note.

She says, no because
she's horrified of him,

and he says, okay, I'll steal your panties

and you'll get them back
when you show me the note.

- Fun stuff.

Oh, we also meet Josh,
Avery's ex-boyfriend

of a year and a half,
and perpetually drunk

and high, even at school.

- That's so sad to me.

Josh has a friendly heart.
- It is sad.

- This teenage kid?
- I mean, he is also

still harassing her, but like,

he's definitely a sad character.

- I mean, we all knew Josh.

- Yeah.
- I don't think

I knew a Josh.
- I knew, I mean knew Josh.

- I knew every character in this book.

- Whoa.
- Because you wrote it.

- Blog.

Because I wrote it.
- This, she does mention

wearing an Ocean City--
- Didn't change a single name.

- She mentions wearing an
Ocean City, New Jersey T-shirt,

so she might be from our area.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, this chick's

from the Northeast, dude.

She's from Bucks County.

Wait.
- More and more--

- Can I disparage an entire county?

- Yeah.
- Yes, that's allowed.

- Okay, she's from suburban Philadelphia.

- Nice, good coverup.
- Specific.

- Her friend Karen is also suggesting

that she go on a blind date
with this guy Jake a lot.

They go, he takes, they
go on like a group date

to the Olive Garden, and
he pays for everything.

And I thought that sounded so cool.

If I was in high school and one dude paid

for all of us to go to the Olive Garden,

that would be insane.

- A guy walks up to you and says--

- That's why it's in the book.

- It's one of the best
things I've ever read.

Wouldn't that be amazing?

Think about how hard it was in school?

Who's gonna pay for what,
you know your friend

who never pays enough,
like, that shit started

when we were all in high school.

- I'll buy you endless soup,
salad, and breadsticks.

- Marry me.
- That one said,

anything you want at the Olive Garden.

- Everything you see before you is yours.

- Anything the fluorescent light touches--

- It's yours.
- Is yours.

- But don't go into the shadow section.

- And she likes this
guy, but she's clearly

also liking Superman, and
I'm like, go with Jake.

Oh my god.
- Yeah.

- He buys lots of apps.
- Yum.

- That she likes, and his
two favorite side dishes.

- I'm forgetting, sorry,
is that a detail--

- Oh, I think I forgot to take that note.

- Or are you giving us some shade.

- She keeps bringing up
how much food he buys.

It's several times throughout the book.

- Oh, they have a lot in common too.

They're favorite movie is
the third Harry Potter.

- Oh, so, here's a little point.

Because I'm a forensics expert,

I did some digging on
this kissmyoops person.

- Yes.
- Okay,

I found them on social media.

I know their real name, I also know

that they are a huge Harry Potter fan,

and so this is a little bit

of the author's personal taste coming in.

Didn't give it to the main character,

gave it to Jake, so I find that
to be an interesting choice.

- Hmm, thank you for that.

I'm also a literary expert.

A forensics literary expert.
- Wow.

- I also like the third
Harry Potter movie a lot.

That's the Prisoner of Azkaban, right?

- Yeah, that one's a great movie.

- Yeah, it really kind of
gets into the darker side.

- His dog is funny.

No Superman, no Spider-Man, no Iron Man

in that one though--
- Throughout the entire film.

- Or the rest of the series, actually.

Totally different, totally
different franchise.

- Very interesting.
- Thank God you're here.

We got more bedroom visits,
we get more death threats,

more girls being killed,
it's a bit repetitive,

more double dates, we can
kinda fly through this stuff.

We can move to, then, one
time when he comes to visit,

he's down in the, I
was about to say lobby,

on her lawn, down in her lobby lawn.

And he's like, come on, we're gonna go

for a motorcycle ride.

And she's like, no, I don't want to,

but of course, that means
she's gonna go do it.

So she gets on the motorcycle
ride with this dude,

and then they go to what
sounds like a Batcave,

and it's also referred to as a Batcave.

Just all over the place
with the superheroes.

- I feel like I don't really have

to touch on that one at all.

It seems like that's pretty obvious.

- It's lacking.

- But Superman does go live in a Batcave.

- He does, but he doesn't
call it a Batcave.

- Got it, got it.
- Calls it a Superman Cave.

- Oh.

- I had an, this was the point in the book

where I had an easier time.

I was like, maybe I'll
start enjoying this more

if I picture him as a villain
instead of a superhero.

Because he's a little
piece of shit all the time,

he just bosses her around.

- He does the come here
motion with his finger,

several times in chapter 12.

Fucking makes me so mad.

- Yeah, I think chapter 12--
- Give me a break, dude.

- Is also when I realized
there wasn't gonna be any sex

in the book, so this is the second erotica

that we've had that has
had no sex in a row.

Our apologies, we're gonna
make up for it again.

- This is definitely young adult fiction

rather than erotica,
it's non-sexual for me.

- 'Cause just the things
that were clearly supposed

to be sexual like that, or they comment

on her crossing her legs about six times.

And I was like, this must be very sexy

to whoever wrote this, but
it's not that sexy to grownups.

- Because it's high
school flirting, right?

It's like, you know.

She wears shorts that say
DTF on it that Karen got her,

her friend, like, you know.
- And he asks, are you?

- Are you?

- No, so my bitch friend
just got me these.

I feel obligated to wear them.

- Does the butt message match the mind?

- That also leaves her,
that also makes her innocent

of having any sexual desire,

because she didn't buy
shorts that said DTF,

'cause that would because
something that a slut would do.

So Karen, her friend, got it for her,

so she's like, I wore them
'cause they're comfortable.

It says that shit.

She makes so many excuses for--

- Well, I mean, I have a pair of shorts

that say DTF and they're
very comfortable, so--

- Who bought them for you?
- My shrill friend Karen.

- Oh, well, there you go.

- Karen also, kind of, on
that first date with Jake

is kind of like, kind
of threatens her like,

well, if I can't say with your Jake,

I'll set this other girl up with him.

It just became like this
weird bartering thing

where it was like, it wasn't even about

them liking each other,
it had nothing to do

with their chemistry or their interest.

- Yeah, they just wanted
to all split a check

at, originally, Chili's
and then Olive Garden.

Let's not forget those chips and salsa.

- Did they even get to go to Chili's?

- No, they didn't even
get to go to Chili's.

- Oh, man.
- I love Chili's.

- That's a bummer.
- Who doesn't like Chili's?

- Well, Olive Garden was
closer to the movie theater.

Okay, sorry, go ahead.

- Oh, she goes back home.

The guy drives her home
after a long night out,

and grandma's like, where
the fuck have you been?

And so she's like, I'll make it up to you.

I'll take you to Red Robin.

So they go to Red Robin.
- Grandma's like, okay,

you have used magic words.

- They have a weird game that they play

with the waiter with the tip.

They basically just play a game,

do I deem you worthy
enough to give you 20%,

and the majority of the time is no,

which I found so cruel.

- Yeah, this is one of the clues

that this character or
maybe even the author

are a certain, are of a
certain political bent,

is what I'll say.
- Liberals?

- Ah, sure.
- Sure.

Yeah, they have Fox News
on in the background a lot.

- She listens to talk radio.

- She has some slurs
that I don't even think

we need to get into.

Yeah, it's--
- Ambivalent--

- It's a misguided writing.

- Ambivalent towards the Second Amendment.

- Yes.

Oh yeah, when the guy hits her in the head

with the gun, afterwards, she's like,

well, it's America.

It's like, what?

- It's his right to have a gun, Karen.

- It's his right to hit
me in the head with a gun.

- Yeah, but you shouldn't
go carrying around guns

like they're going out of style.

- Yeah, that is--

- But she's like, well,
they are, if you ask me.

- I can't believe how much of
this I've committed to memory.

- You have a great mind.

A beautiful mind.
- Wasted.

- A beautiful mind you make--
- Somebody would say.

- She's beautiful.

I loved your analysis of
everything you've said so far.

- Thanks.
- I'm just sitting here

like, this gal, she's so great.

Moving on, we have more
visits from the masked man.

One of my favorite scenes.

So it's the first time
that she finally seems

a bit more onboard with the Green Slash,

after their Batcave meeting,

they're a little bit looser.

He comes to visit her again.

They talk about another
note that has a razor in it,

and that makes him
think it's not connected

to the other ones.
- Yes.

That was very troubling to me.

In all my years as a forensics expert.

Look, I can't stress this enough.

I'm gonna find a camera here.

Look, I can't stress this enough.

If you find two notes that are written

in your room, they're connected.

Okay, there's no world in
which two different people

are sending you notes, okay?

It doesn't matter if there's
a razor blade in this one,

there wasn't a razor blade in that one.

Wait at least till the third one,

maybe there's a pattern being,

they're connected.
- They're connected.

Thank you.

- It's just a matter of public safety,

is why I'm this fired up about it.

- I remain, I remain skeptical.

- Yeah, because there
were different color inks.

- Yeah.
- Oh wow.

So you're telling me, one serial killer

has two different pens.

- Very easily purchase a number of pens

from any Walgreens, any kind of, any store

that sells stationery--
- What?

- Anybody can walk up a street.

- If this was set a decade earlier,

when gel pens were very popular

and you had a handful in your bag,

I could see that one
person having several pens.

But I feel like they'd fallen
out of fashion by then.

- I feel by 2011, those pens
had fallen out of fashion.

- Even if the final note you find

is like red, black, green, and blue,

the one pen that had
all of the colors in it,

and then somebody pushed them all down--

- Sure.
- And wrote it

with all of them, it's still connected.

- Hmm.

- I just wanna call it,
and if you're listening,

you can't see this, but I do have a pen--

- Whoa.
- Whoa!

- That blew my mind.
- Whoa.

- A pen.
- Ryan's a murderer.

- Allegedly, allegedly.

But it's got black and
red and green and blue.

- I did not even see that in your hand

before I said that.
- Whoa, wow.

- Or maybe I did, maybe my forensics brain

is just so on fire all the time

that I took note of it subconsciously

without even noticing.
- Wow.

- Wow, all these things seem connected.

- And you only noticed when
I called attention to it.

- Yeah.
- Crazy.

And I only noticed it.

So there's more notes--
- Terrifying.

- There is also more flirtation,

so he often lies in her bed, too.

He makes himself very comfortable

when he comes over, takes
her panties, this and that.

In this one, they finally kiss,

and she pushes him away, and she says,

I'm cheating on someone who is going

to be my boyfriend soon.
- Not a thing.

- And that's why they can't kiss.

Isn't that a crazy thing to say?

I'm cheating on someone I'm not dating.

- Yeah, that's--
- She's got guilt, dude.

She's wracked with guilt
because these dudes

are fucking, like, they're
like making her feel so bad

about everything she does.

- Hey.
- She has no agency.

It sucks, like, I mean, it sucks.

- It is like a horrible little glimpse

into like the life of a--
- The psyche--

- Of an actual person.
- I mean, that's, I think

it was really hard, 'cause I was like,

I remember being a high school kid,

and the shit that, yeah.

And you were like--
- I remember liking boys

who said gross ass shit like this to me,

and still being attracted to them,

'cause you're still a teenage girl

with wild ass hormones, and you're like,

oh my god, I wanna fuck,
but all the guys around me

talk mad shit to me, and just like,

make me feel like garbage.

- Yeah.
- And it's because their dads

talk shit to them, and
it's this echoing of trauma

throughout--
- Yeah, yeah.

- Fathers, be good to your daughters.

- Which is not to say,

these are also young boys who think--

- Saint John Mayer.

- That this is like how
you do talk, you know?

They're not all inherently bad.

What did, what?

- We're quoting Saint John Mayer.

- We're just quoting--

Saint Slowhand Junior.

Fathers, be good to your daughters.

- So they had, but this--
- Your body's a wonderland.

- This kiss is at least
a little bit better,

because it's consensual, you know,

everybody's on the same
page, which I like about it.

She tries to steal his
mask, and she gets it,

but just as she's about to see his face,

grandma catches them, she opens the door,

and he Spider-Mans out, and
now she's in big trouble

with her grandma, so that happens.

I don't even know if much comes of that.

- She just gets grounded.
- But they go

to a different chain restaurant,

and everything gets better.

We do hang out with Jake a bit more,

and we also meet his good friend Bentley,

who was good friends
with Josh, her drunk ex,

is also good friends with Jake,

and Bentley is a real piece of shit.

He screams at her twice
in the middle of school,

you're a whore.

And then Jake is like,
oh, he's a cool guy.

He's a genius, he's
just always smoking pot.

If you date someone and your friend,

they talk to your girlfriend like that,

that's an issue.
- Yes.

- For sure.
- Even if

it's not your girlfriend, but someone

who's soon to be your girlfriend.

- Oh yeah, yeah.
- They're not official yet.

- Your nascent, your nascent girlfriend.

- Yes.

You can't talk to my soon
to be girlfriend like that.

He's terrible, and I bring him up,

because he comes up in the end.

So basically, more things happen.

I think we can just
jump to this big climax.

More notes come.

But the, oh, so then
there's the party scene.

We can get to the party scene,

'cause that's leading towards the end.

She goes to a party, there's a game

of Truth or Dare happening.

She can't take truth because
that's what, you know,

losers do, so she takes dare,

and someone dares her to
jump off the roof naked,

and she agrees to this.

She says, all right, and
everybody runs outside,

and she goes up to the upstairs bedroom,

where she sees this guy from school,

who we forgot to mention this,

because we've been skipping things.

- She's been bumping into this boy.

- She keeps bumping into
this mystery boy at school,

who, but she never quite knows his name

or knows what's up with him.

- He's always writing notes.
- Yeah, right.

- And sticking them in places.

They don't get to chat much.

- Literally, like everywhere where she is.

- Well, it turns out that
this boy is the Green Slash.

It's Tyler, it was discovered.

He always calls her Princess in the room,

and that's how it's, he
let's it slip in Tyler voice,

like, don't go out there, Princess.

She's like, wait a minute.

Only a creepy man who comes
into my bedroom at night

calls me Princess.
- All the other men

in my life yell at me.

Only one calls me Princess.
- They call me whore and slut.

- And get in the back of my car

so I can unload on you.
- So I can unload into you.

- So she finds out that it's him.

They go home and she gets another note.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I expect you at 49 Silver,
with your secret BF too.

So there's a big final showdown.

They go there, and there's like a mob

and gangsters there,
like a big mafioso boss,

who then ties them up and is like,

we know about you, we
know you're the superhero,

and we murdered all of
those girls to get to you.

Isn't that so sad?

- And the mob boss's brother
was the McDonald's psycho

who held the gun to her head.

- Correct.
- So, but don't we think

that, had the Green Slash/Tyler
not been so obsessed

with Avery, he could have
maybe saved those other girls?

He's spending a lotta time with her.

- Well, that's, I mean, I think a dilemma

that often comes up in
superhero movies, no?

- Yeah, and I think when
you are not that superhero,

but you're that person's love interest,

you're sort of, either
knowingly or unknowingly

signing yourself up to put
up with all of this shit

and get one sliver of this person

who can't or won't share part

of their life with you publicly,

because that puts you at risk,

or it puts them at risk.

Like, very often, like,
that person's like,

well, I can't, 'cause the villains

come after the people
that are close to you.

- Terrible.
- Yeah.

- It is accurate, like your
Aunt Mays and your Mary Janes,

and Lois Lane--
- All the other Spider-Man,

no, just Spider-Man.
- Oh, okay, okay.

- It's Superman, after all.

- Avery gets sassy with the mob people,

and then basically, in the next scene,

the Green Slash is like,
you need to shut up.

You're ruining everything,
just let me handle it.

So they escape, she escapes and ran out,

he's like, get outta
here, I'll deal with them.

Starts doing a little bit of fighting.

We don't know what happened.

She's nervous that her grandma isn't okay,

but she decides to go to
Donovan's first and eat cereal,

then she goes and checks on her grandma.

Her grandma is safe,
and written in her room

is a note from the Green Slash, I'm okay.

- Yeah.
- And that's how

her story ends.
- It's okay.

- Its--
- Okay.

- Okay.
- And in the end,

everything was groovy.

- So we did not get a
chance to get to any erotica

similar to our Gritty of Brotherly Love.

But we didn't wanna
leave you guys hanging,

so we took it upon ourselves
to write some superhero

erotica, some loosely based
off of what we've read,

some not at all.

Would anyone like to start?

I would be happy to start us off.

- I'll go, if you--
- Sure.

- Oh, you can go first, yeah,
we could go down the line.

- All right.

- Anything you should preface this with?

- This is a work of
fiction, using Spider-Man

as the medium, so that's it.

- Beautiful.

Does it have a title?

- It doesn't.

- Untitled.
- Version one.

- As of yet, yeah, okay.

Kind of just jumps right into the action.

- Great.

- Mary Jane slid the Spider-Man suit

off of Peter Parker's body.

When the red and blue mesh
suit slid past his pelvis,

it caused Peter's turgid
member to bounce up

and hit his stomach with a thwack.

- Thwap.

- That's good sound
effects, right, for it?

- The head of Peter's penis
was covered in the same trich--

- The head of Peter's penis.

- Was covered in the same trichobothria

that allow him to climb
walls as Spider-Man.

- Trichobothria?

- So it's the little hairs on a a spider?

- Oh, okay.
- Wow.

- So he could climb a wall with it?

- So the head of his penis was covered

in the same trichobothria that allow him

to climb walls as Spider-Man,

so it stuck to his skin
when it made contact.

- Oops.

- This hasn't happened before.

I must be very horny, Peter whispered.

Here, Mary Jane said
breathily, let me get it.

Mary Jane pulled at
Peter's pecker in vain.

It's really stuck on there, huh, she said.

Laughing sheepishly, Peter replied,

yep, it's stuck on there pretty good.

Maybe if I twisted here, agh,

and with that, the heat of the moment

got the best of Peter, and he shot rope

after rope of webbing out

of his tumescent protuberant penis.

- Thwack.
- Oh.

- One of the lines of
webbing shot straight up

to the blade of a ceiling fan spinning

high above their heads.
- No.

- Peter suddenly found
himself being propelled

around the room by the
force of the ceiling fan.

MJ, help me, he cried,

before being knocked unconscious
by the large oak hope chest

that Mary Jane's grandmother
had bequeathed her.

Mary Jane attempted to corral
Peter's large limp body

as it swung, attached only by his penis,

around the room, knocking over chairs,

picture frames, and pretty much everything

he came in contact with,
but it was too hard.

So she gave up and masturbated
in the shower instead.

- Aw.
- The end?

- Leaving him spinning around the room?

- Yeah, she left him just there.

- Oh.
- Whoa, whoa.

- And I like to imagine, which I can,

'cause I'm the author, that
things are now getting stuck

to his body as he's, and so it's just--

- He's just panicking.
- Like, what is that game

where you roll around?
- Katamari.

- Yeah, he's Katamari.
- Yes.

- Beautiful.
- That was great.

- Thank you so much for sharing.

- Thank you so much.

- So horny.

- Okay, mine is, yeah,
inspired by the book.

Good night, little designer, Tim Gunn said

as he kissed Jessica on the forehead.

Tim Gunn had raised Jessica
ever since her parents died

in a horrible cancer car crash explosion.

Now, she was a sexy,
sweet, 32-year-old orphan,

looking for her place in the world.

Tim Gunn turned off the lights

and closed the door, but
Jessica couldn't sleep.

She tossed and turned,
wondering if her Superman

would appear again tonight.

Just when she had given up hope,

a flicker of light appeared
in the corner of her room.

The flicker turned into a circle,

and a man appeared within it.

Dr. Strange, the sexy superhero

who had visited her the night before,

with her enthusiastic consent.

Enthusiastic consent was super important

and very sexy to Jessica.

It really got her off.

Hello, Jessica, he said sexily.

Ready for another trip through
time and space, he winked.

You bet, Jessica replied.

Damn, she thought.

Knowing we're on the same page

means we're really gonna
go to town on one another.

We just have to be
quiet, or my grandfather,

Tim Gunn, will wake up.

Oh, I'll be quiet, but I
can't promise you will be.

He used his portal magic to pop through

the corner of the room to Jessica's bed.

Jessica leaned in to kiss him,

but he pulled away, smiling.

Suddenly, she felt a caress on her back.

She turned around to see his magical cape

waving in the wind.

Mind if I tie you up first?

Fuck, just the question alone,

just the question alone
almost made her come.

God, did she love consent.

She nodded yes, and in a flash,

her hands were tied to the
bedframe above her head.

Dr. Strange proceeded to
pull down Jessica's panties.

He did his little portal
magic around her womanhood

and stuck his tongue inside.

My god, she screamed.

She had never felt
anything like this before.

Dr. Strange was eating
out the fourth dimension

of her clitoris.

After an appropriate
amount of time, she came.

Just the sight of her
coming made him come.

It was awesome.

Fin, fin.
- Wow.

- An appropriate amount of time.

- An appropriate amount of time.

That was great.
- Thank you.

- Yeah, beat up those walls.

I'm sorry, here we go.

- Excuse me?
- Okay, mine is titled.

Mine is titled, Superman
Really Stole My Panties, okay?

Hmm.

- It's seven pages long.

- It's--
- Continued on both sides.

Tell me what you want, boy scout,

I don't have all night, Bruce
whispered into Kal-El's ear.

- Oh.
- Kal-El was impressed.

Even with his enhanced hearing,
Kal had not detected Bruce

as he sneaked up behind him.

Kal supposed that the Dark Knight

must have answered Gordon's bat signal

a hundred times before.

He must have memorized every gable

and gargoyle that adorned the roof

of the Gotham City police headquarters.

- Whoa.

- The Caped Crusader could
scale the building in secret,

but he could not conceal the urgency,

the need from his breathing.

Batman exhaled, hot and
quick on Superman's neck.

I'm returning these.

Kal held up the black bat panties,

loosely, an inch from his Kryptonian nose.

In the pale moonlight,

the sable Kevlar briefs
looked almost blue.

Kal took his last chance to breathe

in the scent of them before
Bruce snatched them away.

Superman spoke without moving a muscle.

Are you wearing your
kryptonite ring, Bruce?

The closer I am to you, the
weaker I am in the knees.

- Whoa.
- Bruce who?

The name's Batman.

The name's Batman.

- The name's Batman.

- Oh, right.

Which is the true disguise?

Bruce, Batman?

You can deceive Gotham, but
I know who you really are,

what you really want, I know you better

than you know yourself.

Faster than a speeding
bullet, Superman spun

and pulled Bruce, pulled
himself into Bruce.

Batman's legs wrapped around
the Kryptonian's crotch.

Their hands searched
under one another's capes,

grasping urgently, spandex-clad cock

throbbed against spandex-clad cock.

Their gasping mouths,
inches apart, okay, sorry.

- Wow.
- Whoa.

- Like really sweating.

So that's, hold on, hold on, almost done.

So that's why they call
you the Man of Steel,

Bruce grunted, so that's why they call you

the world's greatest detective.

Hours later, they ate
breakfast at Friendly's.

- Yay, yay.
- Yay!

- That was awesome.

I loved all the superhero specifics.

- That was incredible.

- Hey, I wrote it after
two glasses of wine

and reading this blog.

- Sexy identity crisis.

- Very sexy.

- Mine is a little light
on superhero stuff.

- That's okay.
- Interesting.

- I don't know why.

- You don't wanna mix work with pleasure.

- Right, well, this one does.

- Oh.

- This is some of the
erotica I've read in my life

has been very short,
'cause I don't have time

for as much erotica as we all just read.

- Yes.

- And some of the details for gay erotica

are like, men in very
desperate situations,

so it starts out, it's just like--

- Like dangling from a cliff?

- No, like someone who's very lonely

and like pining for--

- Every gay erotica starts that way.

Help me!

- Exactly.

So I'll read this little thing.

It's called The Summer of 69.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- It was the summer of 2007.

I had just graduated
and landed my dream job,

toll booth operator.

It was lonely, but quiet.

- Lonely but--

- And I loved to take naps and dream.

That's why it was my dream job.

One day, a handsome but
sexy man drove through.

It wasn't a memorable exchange.

He handed me some coins,
and I waved him through.

That would be the only
exercise I got all summer,

or so I thought.
- Oh.

- An hour later, the
same man drove through

in the same direction.

When he saw I was just
even a little bit confused,

he explained, I'm a time
traveling superhero, Gus.

I'm doing like this weird
complicated mission,

and I messed it up the first time,

and so I'm driving back through.

I still only brought the same change,

but I already gave it to you.

Can you just use that and wave me through?

If you do, I'll come back
and we can boink sometime.

Oh, we can boink.

- Boink?

This time travel is handled
perfectly, by the way.

- Thank you.

You had me at boink sometime, I said.

And waved him through.

Over the next two and a half months,

my hero teleported back to my booth,

and we had a lot of sex.

One time, one time each time he visited.

They were short, but to
get us both in the mood,

he would recount where he'd just been,

fighting villains and
bad guys from history

or future history, but he said

I could just call that the future.

I was on the clock and getting
railed at the same time,

plus--

- What could be better?

- Plus, it was a really sexy secret,

and I couldn't tell anyone if I wanted to.

It was just me in the toll booth.

I also decided to live in the downtown,

where rent was unbelievable,
let me tell you.

So I worked overtime, nights and weekends,

which only gave me more time
to wait around for my hero.

He would never tell me when he was coming,

and neither would I.
- Oh.

- Whoa.
- Although he did keep asking

for a head's up on that.

One time, we tried to 69, but I was tired

from barely moving most days,

and he was tired from fighting Germans.

The last time I--

The last time I saw him,
he had just traveled back

from the past, he said he went back

to console a grieving Mary Todd Lincoln.

He was gentle too, and handsome, and sexy.

The last time I saw him,
it was our 69th meetup.

- Oh.
- Ah.

- Wow.
- Oh, the summer of 69!

- Yeah.

The next day, I was fired.

They--

They had a camera in the booth, I guess,

and finally checked it.

They said normally, almost nothing happens

and they have a really hard time

finding someone to work the job

where they watch all those tapes.

But I'll always have those
memories, and the tapes.

We watched them in my court hearing.

Now, here we are, the summer of 2008.

I'm in a jail cell all
alone, probably no cameras.

I think I need to see
the optometrist soon,

but I can't right now, I'm in jail.

I'm still waiting for him to come see me

from one of his heroic adventures.

Come to think of it, I
don't even know his name,

but he'll always be my hero.

- Wasn't it Gus?
- Or wait, it was Gus.

- Oh.
- I forgot,

'cause it happened over a year ago.

I sighed and reached my
hand into prison pants

and said, oh, Gus.

- Oh my god.
- That's all.

- Wow, oh my god.

- I love that in that
story there was, like,

the manager of like the toll
booth was like watching it.

Normally, there's nothing
going on in these videos,

but we have 70 consecutive visits

where you're having sex in the booth.

- And come to think of it, that's like,

almost three months, it was
almost every day, I guess.

That's pretty good.

- Yeah, an entire, the whole summer.

- Yeah.
- Ryan, that was incredible.

- Yeah, very moving, very moving.

It was epic, it was
a huge proportions, yeah.

- I did write it very fast, so thank you.

- It honored what we read, but you really

brought yourself into it too,

which made it so special.

- Thank you.
- Thank you all so much

for writing those, they
were truly beautiful.

At the end of each episode,

we like to rate the book that we've read.

One, being a drought and five
being slip off your chair.

- Wait, what was the--
- Slip off your chair?

You're so wet--
- Oh, got it.

That you slip off--
- Got it.

From all the juice.
- Yes.

- Got it.
- Yeah.

- Or if you're Spider-Man, I
guess everything sticks to you.

- Right.
- Yeah, so it could

be that as well.
- Stuck to your chair.

- Stuck to your chair
or slip off your chair.

If anyone would like to start?

- I gotta give it like a two?

You know, it's not like an
instruction manual, like a one.

Like for an, I should say like,

for a VCR or something like that.

Like it didn't, you know.

I don't know, man, a two, a two.

- This hurts you so much.

- Yeah, what's going on with you?

- I don't even want, like,

'cause I see the effort and what she,

and I see her, what she wanted to do

and her capabilities, I think, are there.

- Yes, yeah, I love that part.

I love this girl, I love that
she did something creative

with her time, it seems like
a lot of people enjoyed it.

One of the most endearing
things about the book

was after every chapter, she would write

a little something at the bottom

that was like, so excited
everybody's reading it.

- The comments were so supportive.

- And all the comments were so supportive.

I love that about it, yeah.

It was very--
- Maybe give it a three?

- It helped me get through some things.

It's not for me, but just--

- It's not personally sexy to me,

but I really think the effort is good.

- You know, that's a great point,

that it's not necessarily,
it may not be for you.

- It's not for a 32 year old woman.

- But that doesn't mean, right.

- Yeah, yeah, thank you.
- You're welcome.

Would anybody else like to share?

- I give this a zero, I hated it.

I was very disappointed
there was no actual sex.

- Without hesitation.
- In it.

No, I'll give it a one,
because of the effort,

whatever that is, like, I
think slightly intrigued,

right, I mean, it's not a drought,

but I'm like, oh, there's
something happening.

Yeah, A for effort, but
I hope that kissmyoops

is like still writing
and has gotten better.

- I hope so too.

- I bet she is.

- Yeah, I wanna give it a two, also,

despite not featuring a
lot of sex, or any sex.

- Low.
- But it was very layered,

and there were a lot of details

that I did wanna see kinda come back,

and they didn't always.

Like early on, she's
like, oh, Donovan was sexy

'cause of this chain, and
when I asked him about it,

he said he'd got it from his brother

as a birthday gift, and two
weeks later, his brother died.

And it was like, that's, I
don't know how that's sexy,

but I thought it would come back later,

but there were a lot of little details--

- Yeah, deets planted.
- That it feels

like there's a lot going on

in the writing sentence, for sure.

- Yeah, I thought Jake was
gonna turn out being bad

because he was so good the whole time,

and so great, but he's just a great guy

that she doesn't end up with,

which sometimes happens in life,

so maybe there's something
beautiful to that.

But oh, I think we forgot to mention,

Bentley was in the Mafia as well,

and was also at the fight.

It's also a very dense book.

- I get the feeling that
she was writing this,

kind of like off the top of her head.

Like, as she was writing,
it was just like, sort of,

free, like what's the word,
stream of consciousness.

- Yeah, when Tyler is revealed,

she was kinda like, well, that's who it is

in a way that was kind of like--

- She wasn't sure.
- I wasn't quite sure.

- Yeah, she discovered
it in that moment too.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- But there were a lot of ideas,

and I think that's not nothing.

Even if it's too much going on, at times.

- Yeah, I'm gonna give it a 1.5.

It was a difficult read, but I appreciated

almost reading like a bit of
a, I guess, a fantasy journal

of, it encapsulated
what it was kind of like

to be in high school in a
way that was very vulnerable,

and I really appreciate
this person's vulnerability

that they shared with us.

- A superpower, you might say.
- Hey.

- Wow.
- It is a superpower.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey.

- It is like that.

Thank you so much for
listening to Erotic Book Club.

We have next time's assignment.

We are gonna be reading Sharing Samantha,

by Madison Faye, and you
can find that on Amazon.

So thank you so much for being here.

- Thanks for having us.

- Thank you to all of our guests.

- It's fabulous, yeah.

- And I hope, thank you
to our special co-host.

It was so fun doing it with you.

- Yeah, it was.
- Yeah.

And have a very sexy week.

I know I will.

Oh.

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