All language subtitles for E.B.C.S01E07

- Hello, everyone.

And welcome back to Erotic Book Club.

The book club where we read erotic books.

I am your host, Jess.

With me, as always, is the beautiful.

- Rekha.

- Whoo, thank you so much for joining us.

You know all the ways to join us.

You can catch us on all the places

where you catch your podcasts.

On CH2.

But, if you want to be
the first to hear it,

you gotta be on Dropout.

Subscribe to Dropout.

Where you can see not only this podcast,

all of our podcasts, as well
as all of our awesome shows,

D20, What the Fuck 101.

Total Forgiveness just came out.

By the time this comes out,
maybe The Grand Finale.

So, we're all excited for that.

We also have a Discord.

A channel in there where you guys

can talk directly to us.

It's one of our favorite parts of it.

We love chatting with you guys.

I got some quotes, as always.

- Yes.

- From Kevbo.

I actually didn't specifically
wrote what he said,

because it was so sweet and touching.

And I didn't want to
share his personal life.

But he just said that him and his wife

listened to it together.

And it brings them closer.

And it just truly warmed my heart.

And I thought it was so cool.

- I have another one from
Roommagic and I hope it's not.

It's similar.

It's just like, "I got my husband addicted

to Erotic Book Club.

And now we watch it together."

- I love it.

- It's so beautiful.

- Name your babies Jess and Rekha.

- Yes, you're having twins.

You're all having twins.

- Lavahot posed a question about

what good vaginal adjectives would be.

And I wrote down some top contenders.

Moist a go to.

Fleshsicle, damp cavern, slip and slide,

nature's pocket, nature's hot pocket.

- Yum.

Nature's hot pocket with
broccoli and cheese.

- Burn the roof of your mouth.

That was Weeblord wrote my favorite.

I thought he deserved a little shout out.

There's some beautiful fanart
of Trapp as a shitty bitch.

You'll remember Trapp from
our Wet for Nessie episode.

Kind of the cult classic episode.

And then someone on YouTube commented,

"Everyone there is gay.

They're always mocking
heterosexual relationships."

I did just want to comment,
in not even a mean way,

we're not all gay.

I am bi.

And some guests are
different orientations.

And, if it seemed like we were mocking

heterosexual relationships,
I do apologize.

Sincerely.

That's not my intention.

If you were just maybe throwing

a bit of hyperbole out there,

then maybe that's the case, too.

But I just wanted to comment on that.

- Yeah, that's great.

- I'm not above saying sorry
if that's something that I did.

- Wow, Jess.

That's really beautiful.

You know what else is beautiful?

- Fuck straight people.

Fuck you, bitch.

Suck it.

Go fuck yourself, you fucking breeders.

Alright, I'm just kidding.

I'm kidding.

- And she apologizes.

And she does apologize.

- And I apologize.

- Jess, we have some awesome
guests here today, don't we?

- We do.

We absolutely do.

We had a.

Well, first, our book was
Stress Treatment by Olivia Ruin.

It was a.

Lesbian
medical first time.

- So, kind of a triple threat.

- It's sort of a triple threat.

- In the erotic world.

- If you can do those three things,

you will nail it in Hollywood.

- And we knew we had to
get some experts in here

who had some insight into the psyche

of these two characters.

So, we are so lucky to have with us

an expert in being a patient.

I believe you went to the doctor recently.

- Yes, I did.

- Yes, we have with us Kendra.

- Great, I hope.

- Hi.

- I hope you really shed some light

on what that experience
was like during this.

- Yeah, I go to the doctor a lot.

- Wow.

- Because I think things
are always wrong with me

and I want to get checked out

and make sure that they're not.

- That's incredible.

That's really good.

- I have a lot of experience.

- That's terrific.

And your experience with erotic books?

Is this your first time?

- This is my first time.

- Welcome.

And this is their first time.

- We share this together.

- That's beautiful.

We also have another expert here.

A medical expert, right?

- Yeah.

- Yes, please welcome Kaylilah.

- Close, Kalilah.

- Yes, I'm so sorry, Kalilah.

Yes.

- Yeah, so, I went to medical school.

And I can't say that I
ever fingered a patient.

That's not true.

- Not like that.

- Oh my god.

- I'm talking about my
gynecology rotation.

It wasn't like that, though.

It wasn't sexual.

It was you have to stick
your fingers in there.

Wow.

- Well, this wasn't sexual, either.

This was for treatment.

- Right, right.

- Well, we'll get into that.

We'll get into that.

- So, you are legitimately
a medical expert.

Which is fantastic.

So, you can shed light on
the doctor perspective.

Whereas Kendra can highlight
the patient perspective.

And that's gonna be really harmonious.

- Teamwork.

- And that brings us to Stress Treatment.

If you did not have the joy
of reading Stress Treatment,

it's 30 pages.

You could do it in the blink of an eye.

The characters are Stacy.

She is our busy businesswoman

who has come to the
doctor with a headache.

- And, let me tell you,
this woman is busy.

She works 90 to 100 hours per week.

- What is the normal workweek?

- So, a normal.

40 hours is the standard.

So, eight hours a day, five days a week.

So.

- Unless you're a resident.

Then, it's 90 to 100.

I was like, "Oh, she a doctor, too?"

- 'Cause the doctor seemed
shocked when she hears it.

She drops her pad.

And I was like, "Don't
doctors work the most?"

- My god.

I was sort of winging it when I did this.

- It's like the Usual Suspects
moment when he drops his cup.

- The doctor's like, "I worked 35.

I don't know how you managed that."

- Lead us to our second character.

There's only two characters.

Doctor Burnett.

Who really stole my heart by the end.

We'll get into it.

I don't know if anyone will agree.

Maybe I'll.

Maybe I'll.

We'll see.

So, at the beginning.

There are no chapters.

So, we can't go chapter by chapter.

It's kind of one big sexy chapter.

- Paragraph.

- One big paragraph with a couple typos.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Kalilah noticed a typo.

- I definitely picked up on typos.

Which meant, to me,

I'm not really where I'm supposed to be

mentally for the enjoyment of this book.

But you know.

Grammar is important.

- Unless a typo gets you off.

- That's true.

- Maybe it's dirty to some people.

- Yeah, this person is so cool.

Missing periods.

This person doesn't give a shit.

- Stacy is sitting in the doctor's office.

She's normally too busy for physicals.

Which sounds like, Kendra,
that's never an issue.

- That's never an issue.

How could you ever be too
busy to get checked out

when something is wrong with you?

But she is the head of

a multinational international company.

A multinational.

- Multinational.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Multinational company.

- What does that mean?

Is that just Coca-Cola?

- Oh my god.

This is the CEO of Coke.

Oh my god.

- They do have women in
leadership roles there.

- I think she's Indian, too.

Which is.

- Is she?

- Stacy?

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Oh, I was like, "How
did you get at that?"

- Stacy is white.

We all know Stacy is white.

- Well, the doctor's white.

Is the other one white for sure?

- I think they're both white.

- Did they describe her?

- They never really did.

- They didn't.

- But she's in her early 20's.

Like she referred to herself as

"When I was in my early 20's."

- The doctor is young.

- So, she's later than early 20's.

- I think she's 29 or.

I feel like they said late.

I don't know.

I clocked her as 29.

- The doctor or the other.

- No, the patient.

- I thought she was 50.

I did.

I did.

I don't know.

- This is a prism.

The refracted light.

Everyone's psyches.

It's beautiful.

- Look at a typo.

Hold on.

The doctor comes in.

I wrote this.

Surprised it's a young,
blond woman younger than 30.

So, the doctor's younger than 30.

Stacy is in her mid-30's.

- Mid-30's, alright.

- She's always referred
to, in the author's eyes,

Stacy, as the older woman.

And I remember that.

- Woman means 50 to me.

- Yeah, she's probably 32.

- Come on.

This has gotta be a guy.

30s, older woman?

- Octogenarian bag of dust.

Went in for her physical.

- She's in the room.

The room is quite cold

She notices that her nipples are hard.

And she's nervous that
the doctor may see them.

That's pretty accurate.

- Yes?

- Yeah, that's pretty accurate.

It is very cold in a doctor's office.

- Do you get self-conscious
about that kind of stuff?

- Yes.

- Okay.

- We don't want you to
get too comfortable.

That's why it's cold.

- From a doctor's
perspective, what is the.

- That's a joke.

- It can't be true.

But, honestly, doctors are fucks.

So, maybe.

- 'Cause I know, comedy theaters,

they want it to be cold.

'Cause they want you to be awake.

Yeah, if you're in a warm
room, it makes you sleepy.

I mean, I don't know why doctors

would give a shit about that.

- Or is it.

I imagined, always, it
was a clinical reason.

Like they keep stuff at
a certain temperature

and it just bleeds into
all the rooms or whatever.

I don't know.

- Well, I mean, the stuff
that needs to be refrigerated

or kept at a certain temperature

is in a sequestered area.

- In a fridge.

- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

Are the lab coats hot?

- Sometimes.

There's a lot of moving around.

- Yeah, I guess you don't want to.

- Especially for this doctor.

There was a lot of motion.

- I guess you don't want a sweaty doctor.

- Yeah, yeah, that'd be really weird.

- Yeah, I don't want a sweaty doctor.

- I think they're lying.

No?

- Ma'am, you don't have cancer.

- Wait a minute.

It looks like I do according
to the sweat on your brow.

- No.

- What is it you're not telling me?

Exactly.

- Oh my god.

I'm so fucking stupid.

- Also, from a doctor's perspective,

do you notice the nervousness
of patients in that way?

Or is it kind of just
like you're making rounds.

A million people a day.

Who is this person?

Great.

You're not paying attention kind of thing.

- I've noticed when there's
a level of attraction,

maybe, that the patient has for you.

- Really?

- Yeah, then they're kind
of weird acting, you know.

But, if they're not being that way,

then it's usually not a big deal.

In the experience that I've had.

I've not gone in being like,

"Oh, I wonder if this person's

excited to see me or nervous."

But it's just kind of like you walk in

and you're doing whatever.

And then you sometimes can
catch what they're thinking.

- That's so interesting.

- Kendra, I can't believe you.

- How many doctors have
you fallen in love with?

- Well, maybe half of one.

- Half?

- Half of one.

There was an eye doctor,
once, I thought was cute.

- Whoa, I've never been
attracted to a doctor.

- And you liked just the right eye.

- Just in my right eye.

- I have a friend who went out on a date

with her doctor who.

After he did a breast exam on her.

I was like, "Was that weird?"

I mean, they didn't make a relationship.

Which this is actually wrong.

This is ethically wrong.

- Yeah.

- He shouldn't have
asked her out on a date.

But he did.

I guess he liked her breasts.

I don't know.

- Well, speaking of ethics.

So, Stacy is in this room, right?

And she's cold and nervous.

And I think, when the doctor comes in,

she says that she has a headache.

But then Stacy clocks
her as a beautiful blond.

Beautiful young blond.

She noticed.

- Who's very small.

Very thin or something, right?

And then, also, she clocked
the doctor's lab coat

was such that she could
be wearing a dress.

But maybe the hemline is
either equal or shorter

than the length of the coat.

Or she could be wearing nothing
at all under the lab coat.

- Like a Halloween costume
when you're a sexy doctor.

Sexy doctor?

- Yes.

- I did like the part.

So, she tells the doctor that

her long work week and she's
been getting these headaches.

She's the VP of Coca-Cola.

Which we love.

This is a direct quote from her.

I took down so many direct
quotes from this book

because they speak like two
power bitches who are computers.

- Sounds like an alien wrote this book.

- Or men.

- It's a very intense,
but rewarding, position.

And I am proud of making it to this level.

Many women don't.

And I've shut up a lot
of people along the way.

- Shut up, people.

- You know who probably wrote this?

You know Watson, the
computer from Jeopardy?

Is that his name?

- His name is Watson.

I bet a Watson AI bot.

- It truly feels like
that in some sections.

And I got.

And I didn't know if that was
supposed to be part of the

"I'm gonna tell you what to do now."

And I think that that is the aesthetic.

But also just a weird computery vibe.

- 'Cause we're kind of talking about.

The three subtitles under this book

are lesbian, medical, and
first time as the genre tags.

So, that hits medical pretty hard.

Like the clinical.

- That's what it is.

Everything felt very clinical.

- Oh, you're right.

It did.

It did.

- Layers.

- Was that on purpose?

I think it was.

- I picked this book
specifically 'cause I was like,

"I've never been attracted to a doctor."

I know there is a thing of "Oh, doctor."

You know.

But I never got super into that aesthetic.

So, I was like, "Maybe there's
just something about it."

And I could definitely see where this

tickles a certain part of somebody

who just kind of wants to
be told by a powerful figure

what to do and when to do
it and just listen to me.

But I think I'm a little too stubborn.

- Do you follow doctor's orders?

- My suck it montage from earlier.

Maybe I'm a bit too much of a rebel.

- You're a bad patient?

- I'm a great patient.

- Jess wouldn't have taken
this doctor's treatment.

I'm gonna treat you, bitch.

- I'm offended.

- So, she gets her medical history.

And, as she's taking her
medical history, Doctor Burnett.

To Stacy, she's asking "What
about your relationships?

Your sexual activity?"

And she says that she has
not had sex for six years.

Drop pad again.

What?

- How are you alive?

- Kalilah, is this standard?

Do you shame?

- Sex shame.

There should be no reaction.

Although, sometimes you
hear things that are like,

"What the fuck?"

But you can't show that to the patient,

'cause there's no judgment in this room.

But it is standard to ask a sexual history

for treatment purposes.

Not that detailed.

- I thought that was totally standard.

- That is standard.

But I don't think asking
do you have a boyfriend

or whatever she asked.

How often do you masturbate?

- Well, they do ask you
about your sexual partners

and if you are in a
long term relationship.

So, the boyfriend thing, not so much.

- It's like a risk assessment.

Like are you out here fucking
everybody without protection

or are you fucking one person?

- Right, now, Kendra, as
someone who's been a patient,

if a doctor dropped their notepad

after you said something
about your history,

what would your reaction be?

How many hoagies
did you eat, Jess?

Three.

- I eat three to five hoagies a week.

- I would just have to.

"Hey, are you making fun of me?

Are you making fun of me right now?"

- I would try to play it really cool,

but I would almost be crying.

If a doctor was that judgmental.

- I gotta call you out.

'Cause, if you just tried to
make me feel uncomfortable,

I'm gonna make you feel uncomfortable.

- Ma'am, how many people in your family

have high blood pressure?

Oh my god.

- What do you guys eat?

- I'm gonna be like how many people

in your family have high blood pressure?

Turn these tables.

- There's a good way to.

If you do have judgment

and you somehow accidentally let it out.

You just turn it into a cough or.

- I'd be like, "Are you sick?"

- Kalilah, you have ruined
any doctor's trip I have now.

If they cough or sweat, I'm like,

"I'm getting the fuck out of here."

- Or you put your face down

and really commenting on the paperwork

so you can giggle to yourself.

Or you drop your pen.

- Did you just write something?

- If my doctor.

If I was like, "I haven't
had sex in six years,"

and they were like.

Throws up.

- Oh, sorry.

Bad lunch.

- Oh, by the way, doctors do
tell their other doctor friends

stories about you guys.

But it's.

Hippa is respected.

So, no names are used.

- If you see me walking out,
you know it was about me.

That's how I feel.

- They wait till the end of the day.

Not right when you walk out.

- Like that's the one.

That's the one.

- She's the one that hasn't
had sex in six years.

- So, Doctor Burnett picks up her pad.

And this is our first kind of sexy moment.

We get a little flash of a silver bra.

Which I don't think silver's that hot.

- Me neither.

- Silver strikes me as tacky.

Like a 90's.

Or like a teen girl.

- Or early 2000's.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like music videos where their
hair's in little pom-poms

and you always show your bra straps

under a spaghetti strap.

What's the sexiest bra color?

Ooh.

- As someone with brown skin,

I love the way dark blues and dark plums.

- Oh my god.

I was gonna say navy.

- Yeah, like a dark plum.

I really like those colors.

- Or black.

- Black and fuchsia.

Black.

Those are good.

- Fuchsia.

I was also picturing.

I imagined to be fair,
blond-haired lady with silver.

I was like oh.

- She'd wash out.

- I don't like it.

That doesn't match.

- She looked so washed out.

- She looked like a ghost.

A very thin ghost.

- I like when Kate wears.

We have this cardigan with no bra

and then it's like a little of this.

And there's a little boob right here.

Like Jenny in Forrest Gump
when she's in Playboy.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- If anyone remembers that
iconic moment from Forrest Gump.

- Yeah, and, also, do you imagine that

this bra had any little tags

that inexplicably exist on bras.

Like the jewels.

- Like the jewels.

The hanging jewel in between.

Or the little lacy.

I think so.

I think she goes all
out with her patients.

- I was thinking lacy.

- I was thinking sparkly,
what's that called, threads.

- What is it?

Fabric.

- Yeah, yeah, fabric.

I'm going with fabric.

- Or a crochet.

- Her nipples are sticking
out of the little eyelets.

It doesn't have any support.

- I was thinking chain mail.

- She's a knight underneath.

- Like Zoe Kravitz just
wore to some party.

- She wore chain mail?

- I know exactly what
you are talking about.

It was gold.

- Was it her Oscar dress
and it was over the dress?

I think it was after party.

- That's hot.

A chain over something.

- It wasn't over.

It was just nipples under.

You could see very clearly.

- I would be worried
about metal on nipple.

- Yeah, I feel like that
would make me uncomfortable.

And then it's kind of cold out.

So, it's like cold, cold, cold nipple.

- It's been really cold this month.

It has been.

- I can relate to Stacy.

It's cold.

- I think we all have
a little Stacy in us.

So, after speaking with her,

after asking if she's masturbated,
the doctor diagnoses her.

- Which Stacy hasn't.

She doesn't like masturbating.

She just doesn't do it.

- I did relate to her on that.

Now, that was my old life.

Now, I masturbate probably too much.

But, back when I was young
and did not feel like.

I was like, "I'm gonna know it's me.

It's not gonna make a difference."

Until I was introduced.

- I got introduced pretty
late to it, as well.

- Like, two years ago.

- Yeah, that's common.

I think that's totally fine.

- Like, when I graduated
college basically.

And it was like.

I was in the same boat.

Like, yeah, I get it.

And then you're like, "Oh."

I am awesome.

I'm amazing.

- I think young men.

It's in every movie that we would see.

They'd be fucking pies.

Masturbation was very much a
part of a young man's life.

And girls, it was like,
"Why don't you just try on

another pair of pants?"

- Male representation.

- No one's talking to young women about

here's how you make yourself feel good.

It's like how do you do
X, Y, Z to make a man

then make you feel good.

- Even getting hyper specific.

The idea of penetrative sex was a thing

I didn't quite understand the appeal of

when learning about sex ed
and stuff where it was like.

That didn't really appeal to me.

The clit was never a thing
mentioned as a pleasure thing.

- I didn't hear that until
I was in medical school.

I never heard that word.

- That's fucking crazy.

So, the only people
getting off in this country

are people in medical school.

- You have to be a fucking
doctor in order to get off.

Damn.

So, she's diagnosed.

And the doctor says,

"I am going to treat
you with an insertion."

Stacy's a little worried about

getting a needle in her butt.

But it turns out that that
is not the kind of insertion

this doctor was talking about.

She, again, in a very clinical way,

is just like, "Stand up.

Turn over."

And then she inserts two
fingers inside of her.

She felt something warm and
slippery enter her vagina.

Oh, there was a moment before this

where Stacy was happy that she had shaved,

'cause she didn't want the doctor

to see her big, giant bush.

- That's always a concern, I think.

- Yeah, that patients have?

- Well, yes.

- That doctor's have?

- I wish I could say it's not
something that bothered me.

But, if I'm going to the gynecologist,

yeah, you gotta.

- You gotta make it nice
for the gynecologist.

- Yeah, I have never.

But I.

And I do feel self-conscious.

- You've never been to the gynecologist?

- No, I've been to.

No, I don't do anything for her.

You don't put a
nice little bead or braid

or butterfly clip?

- Maybe a cup of coffee or something.

- Just put it next to it.

- I'm always like, "Oh, I
don't want my doctor to think."

'Cause I feel like we're kind of peers.

So, if he talks shit about
his patient, it's me.

- Is there a hippa to protect

a doctor talking about a doctor?

- Well, yeah, hippa applies to everybody.

But I'm not gonna be the
one who's embarrassed

'cause my doctor's talking
shit about my vagina.

It's gotta look cute for her.

- I didn't know doctors were

running their mouths this
much about everybody.

- I've never cared.

If it's hairy, if it's not.

I would just never care.

You're down there to do a job.

You know what?

And, if you can't do your job,
something's wrong with you.

- Yeah, if I wanted New York City,

I'm not like, "Why is there
so much trash everywhere?"

I know that that's part of the deal.

- Right.

It's part of it.

Are you comparing your vagina
to New York City's trash.

Hairy bushes are trash.

You've got to love yourself.

- I love New York.

I love New York.

- And all of its trash.

- I miss it.

I love New York.

My vagina is so lucky
to be called New York.

- So, the doctor is
applying the treatment.

- It got a little Me Tooish there for me.

- I think so, too.

- Because there has to be
notification of entrance.

You can't just.

- Especially because.

Part of this that was so
complicated to grapple with

is, Stacy, the protagonist,
has definitely hangups

about female attraction.

And she says, many times,
"I'm not a lesbian."

Which is fine if you're
questioning your sexuality

and all that stuff and you're not sure.

But, to couple that with
a doctor doing that,

it feels very.

Yes.

- Yeah, there's no consent here.

I'm uncomfortable.

- I didn't get into it

until the second act of this paragraph.

When there is a bit more of

"Okay, I did like what just happened."

- Now it's consensual.

- "And now I'm a bit more
curious and interested."

Yeah, this first one's a
bit off putting, for sure.

- What struck me as odd was, in her mind,

she said, "You know what?

I'm just gonna go with it.

And I can always just sue her later."

What the hell?

- When does that ever work
for your mental health?

- Actually, I was thinking that's

kind of normally how it goes.

And that's why people are
very vocal after the fact.

'Cause, during it,

you're kind of questioning
what's happening.

You're not sure.

And then, at least for me,

it takes some distance to realize.

"Wait a minute.

That was fucked up.

Hold on."

But, I mean, that's not everybody.

- No, it makes sense.

I'm glad she trusts the legal system.

It's beautiful, honestly.

- I don't know that the part
two of it is the normal thing.

But maybe in the moment.

I guess.

I don't know.

- Is this part of procedure?

I'll check later.

- I'll check later.

I don't know.

It feels good.

I don't know.

- This is an interesting thing, too.

Because, in some of these books,

you only get one perspective of the sex

and all that kind of stuff.

And this is interesting.

A lot of us weren't really into
it until Stacy was into it.

Which is, yeah, it's really helpful

to hear both sides of the
equation of what is being done

and what the person receiving it feels.

It's two halves of the erotica equation.

- Right, right.

- And I guess it's hard, too,

'cause there are fantasies
of just being taken.

And then where can that live
within the world of consent?

- Is there a clause
before anything happens?

If it's a fantasy.

50 Shades already
stole that storyline.

- It's a fantasy to be taken.

I'm gonna say, "No."

But still do it.

- Maybe we didn't see.

But, when she's filling out
that paperwork and stuff,

it could've been on there.

- This doctor probably did
have that in her paperwork.

Probably.

- When you say that.

Like they have the right
to your medical records.

It's also I can finger you.

- Let's hope Stacy doesn't try to sue.

So, the fingering happens

and she gets more and more into it.

The doctor gently rubs
the older woman's clit.

They constantly refer to
her as the older woman.

- That's 55 plus.

I mean.

- I mean, just some of the language.

Firing synapses in her brain

that had never been fired before.

Have you ever heard of
sex described that way?

I mean, it is very much like the.

- I liked the firing synapses.

I get that.

There's like a little.

I don't know.

I get it.

- I think she never had an orgasm.

And that does something different to you.

- Yeah, that is kind of a twist.

- A Shyamalan twist.

This woman has never had an orgasm

and she was living in the 21st century.

- In her older woman years.

Which equals 30.

She's never had an orgasm.

- Oh my god.

This quote.

So, the doctor, giving her her treatment,

brings her to orgasm.

Stacy felt as though she died

and had been reborn a thousand times over

as inaudible waves crashed through her.

- I liked that.

- Damn, that's insane.

- That's kind of nice.

- That is insane.

- Have you ever felt like you
died and were reborn again?

- I wish I had.

- I feel like I've felt
that a time or two.

- That's awesome.

- Oh, I'm dead.

Take everything that I have.

And then "Oh, I'm back.

And I enjoyed that death."

I think so.

Sex is like death.

- I feel like death probably feels good.

I don't know.

I mean, it's like a release.

And then you don't know what happens

on the other side of it.

But I'm imagining good things.

Pleasant.

I don't know.

- And it's still very scientific.

Whatever that.

What is that machine called that

beeps for your heartbeat?

Beep, beep, beep.

- Oh, the monitor for your vitals?

- I could just see that scene.

In her brain.

What's going on.

- Then the shocks.

- Oh my god.

She defibrillates her.

Her breasts.

- Inaudible waves crashed through her.

That's wild.

- It is wild.

- We got to seek more from
our partners, I guess.

- I've never died.

- I have.

- Fuck, I've never died.

- I had one concern
during this whole thing.

Were there no other patients
in the waiting room?

- There were.

She mentions it later.

- She does say, at the end,

"Alright, time for my next patient."

Which makes you think.

- Is everyone getting this or.

- I got this wart on my finger.

- You need to insert a two finger glove.

It's also funny to imagine, as a patient,

when you're waiting in
the doctor's office.

I had an appointment at noon.

Why am I still waiting?

- That's what's happening in the room.

- That's why it takes so long.

- Yes, fact.

- Now I'm mad because none of my doctors

have ever given me this treatment.

- Well, have you come in with a headache?

- No, I haven't.

Oh, you gotta
go with a headache.

- All I get is a Z-Pak.

- A Z-Pak.

- They just take my urine

and they don't even stay
in the room for that.

- If you got a Z-Pak, maybe it was

for some fun things you
did before the Z-Pak.

- No, this was allergies.

- Amazing.

- She has orgasm.

And her headaches have slightly gone away.

She's feeling better.

The doctor's like, "You can
come back for other treatments."

And now Stacy's feeling
a bit more into it.

And she's like, "I think I'm ready

for another treatment right now."

- And do you ever do two rounds?

- Give it to me.

- Have you ever received
or have you ever done

two rounds of treatment
in the same appointment?

Isn't it, when you get your HPV shot.

- Wait, are we talking about sex?

- I didn't know what
you were talking about.

- I'm talking about a doctor's office.

And I am sorry for not clarifying.

Ladies, have you ever
had two rounds of treatment?

- I was like, "Yes."

- What's your refractory period
on two rounds of treatment?

- I think my record is seven.

Seven treatments?

- Damn.

- Seven treatments.

I mean, clearly it was a free day.

- Yeah, you gotta get
breakfast and stuff like that.

- Oh, definitely.

And how many showers?

- Yeah, your sheets are gross.

- Oh, is there showering in there?

I didn't shower.

He didn't need it.

- You sit in it?

You think about what you did.

- So, Stacy is ready
for her next treatment.

The doctor prepares herself.

Stacy's wondering to herself,
"What could be next?"

You know, she's wondering,
"Am I a lesbian?

Is the doctor a lesbian?"

A direct quote from Stacy.

"You just feel like this
because she just had

her fingers in your pussy

and gave you the first
orgasm of your life.

Then again, isn't that
the definition of lesbian?

Letting a woman do that?"

I did look up the definition of a lesbian.

Oh, please share.

- A homosexual woman.

End of sentence.

- Use in a sentence.

- It might need a bit more.

Then I looked up homosexual.

Sexually attracted to
people of its own sex.

So, Stacy, you a lesbian.

Sorry, bitch.

- Sorry, bitch.

- Well, she did say.

I think it was the first
or the second treatment

where she said, "Maybe I am
just a straight up lesbian."

I was like, good acceptance.

- And it's just an attraction.

You don't even have to have
sex, from these definitions.

You define it any way you want.

Call yourself what you want.

I don't give a shit.

Just don't call me late for dinner.

Ha ha ha.

Alright.

Okay, here we go.

More of the book.

I wrote the newly revealed
tits were pretty small.

Oh, Stacy's tits are small.

- No, no, no, the doctor.

- The doctor's tits are small.

- The doctor takes off her.

I almost said smock.

Jacket.

Her doctor's coat.

And she's naked.

And she said she has perfect tits that

sat high on her chest, but they're small.

- But pretty tiny.

Any time boobs are small in these,

it's always like "But
what they lacked in large,

they make up for in."

- Which is like.

It gives some love to small boobs.

All boobs are great.

Boobs rule.

Tiny titties are awesome.

- As a tiny tittied woman,
I will say there is no but.

People love titties.

Period.

And it doesn't matter the size.

- This is where the
American patriotic music

plays in the background.

A flag waving behind Kendra.

- All for one, one for all.

- Everyone loves titties.

- I've got to say I keep noticing

I don't think I've heard
any of my girlfriends

refer to breasts as tits.

I just haven't.

I've heard men say tits.

I haven't heard women say tits.

- Yeah, I think I say tits.

You say tits?

- Growing up, people said titties.

- I heard titties.

- Maybe if you're four
or five you say tits.

But, if you're grown up, you say titties.

- We say titties.

Girls and guys.

- I have never referred to my.

I say boobs.

Which is.

- I've said boobs.

- Boobs or breasts.

- When I was little, I called them hobies.

I don't even know where I got that from.

My grandma taught me that, I think.

Hobies.

That's gotta be very cute.

Shout out to grandma.

- Shout out to grandma.

And shout out to hobies.

All my hobies.

All my hobies who are listening to this,

thank you so much for tuning in.

- Stacy's wondering what
could possibly be next?

What is left for there
for two women to do?

Eat each other out?

- That's what I thought was next.

- She literally says.

She literally says, "Is
she going to lick me?"

Which, again, felt like
an alien description

of being eaten out.

Is she gonna flap her tongue on my bottom?

- But the doctor has
something else in store.

Doctor Burnett reveals a dildo.

- Is this the first woman using a dildo

in one of our books?

- This is our first strap-on.

Which is very exciting.

So, the doctor has her strap-on on.

They describe the size of it.

It's six inches.

But the doctor says she prefers
one and a half times bigger.

And wider.

Nine inches.

- She said one and a half inches wide.

But she says she wants nine inches

and she would like hers wider.

- Oh, I thought she wanted.

Oh, I did the math.

I thought it was one and a half inches

bigger than the six inch.

Which I thought she
wanted a 15 inch penis.

- One and a half inches bigger.

- One and a half times bigger.

- I thought she was using a six inch.

And she said,

"I typically prefer one
and a half times bigger."

And I went "Wait a minute."

How big?

- I've been fucking whales.

And so, I kind of prefer.

- This is the part that took me out.

I was like, "Now, I'm gonna do the math."

Okay, but she only wanted a quarter.

I only had a quarter of it in.

And I'm like.

- Okay, the radius is three.

Okay, and that's a fucking huge dick.

- Did we know the girth?

She didn't give us the
measurement of the girth.

- She didn't do circumference on shit.

- No circumference.

- There's no freaking area of that circle.

- We can't figure that part out.

But we can figure out the nine inch penis

that she prefers.

- She prefers.

- Or dildo, strap-on.

'Cause she doesn't like penis.

Or does she like both?

- I think she's queer.

Which I kind of like that
she wasn't explicit about

"I don't have sex."

It's all fluid.

Who cares?

And one thing that was funny.

Just Stacy was "Oh my god.

What is that?"

Like, six inches was very large.

Which is fine.

Whatever.

It's all personal preference.

But it was this very doe eyed.

Oh my god.

- It was written slightly not
top of intelligence enough.

But I think it did get into the psyche of

"I haven't been having sex for a while.

I haven't really been feeling sexual

or looking into this much."

And you kind of slowly realize

maybe it's because you haven't been

experiencing sex in the way that

feels right or good to you.

And this doctor is
helping to bring that out.

And that I'm always on board for.

- And she also pointed out that

the people you've been having
sex with have small penises.

Because this is average.

Average size.

- Is six inches average?

I thought it was five.

But I don't really know.

I don't know.

That's just.

- Everyone, what do we think?

Five to seven.

- Our penis expert.

Let's give a hand to our
penis expert, everybody.

- Thank you.

Five to seven.

And is that flaccid or erect?

- She saying please stop talking to me.

- She says probably erect.

- That makes sense.

Also, I will say there was a little

ego stroke in this for
men who are average size.

Which I guess most men
are, 'cause it's average.

You're doing good.

At least according to Stacy.

This is perfect.

- There was ego stroking for that,

but her small tits were fine.

- So, a small-titted woman would like.

No, no, no, she was a nine-incher.

- I've been with men with smaller penises

and I had a wonderful time.

So, what are you gonna do?

- What are you gonna do?

Tweet us.

- There's lots more to sex than just that.

Tweet at Mike Trapp.

@MikeWTRapp on Twitter.

What are you gonna do about it?

Don't do it to anyone else.

- The stretch was unbelievable.

This is the dildo going in.

Her tight, unused pussy,

not used to opening for
anything more than a tampon.

A woman did not write that.

No one is thinking "Oh, the last thing

in there was a tampon."

- That's an uncomfortable experience.

Tampons are dry and fucking shitty.

They suck.

- Especially those cardboard ones.

They try to help the world.

But my god.

- I won't tell you the brand.

'Cause I'm not allowed to.

We all know the one I'm referring.

- But they help it slip in there, though.

The cardboard.

- The applicator.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I can fucking do that myself.

It's easier with yourself.

- It's so dry.

It is so dry and goes in at a weird angle.

- She's putting the dildo in

and she's not even sure if
it's all the way in yet.

And then the doctor says,
"No, that's just the head."

So, she's really kind of opening her up.

Figuring out what.

Figuring each other out.

- Dilation.

- She does, at one point, say,

"Aha, you are actually a lesbian."

Stacy says that to the doctor.

- And it's beautiful that
can be scientifically proven.

- And then the doctor.

This is when I really love the doctor.

Labels, for the most part,
rarely encapsulate the truth.

- That is actually stunning.

That's beautiful.

Doctor Burnett did go to medical school.

- Yeah, absolutely.

Without a shadow of a doubt.

- She does her job.

She does it professionally.

- She's only naked some of the time.

I'm guessing she put her clothes

back on for the next patient.

- If I had my own practice,
I'd be naked all the time, too.

- And that's a promise.

- Let me tell you.

There's not a lot sexy
about a doctor's office.

And mostly your patients
aren't sexy, either.

- That's what I think.

It's just not a sexy place.

Any time I go, I'm like.

I can't talk right now.

- Which the doctor is
doing to you, as well,

in regards to your medical history.

- It's just not an.

Oh, screaming from the
stretching and intense friction.

- Screaming in the doctor's office

with the patients in the waiting room.

What are they thinking?

I want to hear their perspective.

- Yeah, we gotta read the second book.

- Kendra, what are they thinking?

- Now, I would be thinking
either, A, it's time to go,

or, B, I need to see
what's happening in there.

Depending on what her screams sound like.

- You're trying to go through that door?

- 'Cause I might want that.

Ooh.

Depending on
what the scream sounds like.

- Yeah, number one, you don't want that.

Number two, you want that scream.

- Number two.

What's the number one?

- The number one's a bad scream.

- The bad scream like.

- Help me.

I'm being assaulted.

And Kendra's thought is "I'll leave."

- I won't save them.

I won't call anyone to help them.

- I'm not calling anyone.

I'm just getting out of dodge.

- Who is she supposed to call

when the doctors are the one doing it?

- 911.

I don't know.

- What if they do the same thing?

- It's true.

They could.

- 'Cause you know they're doing that

down at the precinct, too.

- Cavity searches.

- I see your son has been kidnapped.

You have a tension headache.

- Oh, the doctor says,
"Let's call it what it is.

I'm about to fuck your pussy
with a dildo in my office."

Direct quote.

- I've never heard "Fuck your pussy,"

unless it was pornography.

And from a man.

- In real life.

And from a man.

- What a like, if a doctor gets to it,

this is when I really
get into Doctor Burnett.

I'm just really into this.

I think it's awesome that

she's like this is what's happening.

Let's do it.

In the book, it says "It worked
the way it was designed to."

I'm fascinated by who is reading this.

- Who is Olivia Ruin?

- They were kind of tired for that part.

- You know how a dildo works.

- Et cetera, et cetera, yada, yada.

- It's doing its job.

- Oh my god.

Another direct quote.

I can't help myself.

Stacy.

"I thought you would
look absolutely lovely

with a just fucked look on your face.

And it turns out I was right."

How fucking cool.

She's like James Bond.

- James Bond of the medical profession.

- You know James Bond is always
swooping in fucking people.

- I thought you might look cool

if I fucked the shit out of you.

It turns out I was right.

- And then he kisses her on the cheek.

Later, babe.

- Later, babe.

Wink.

- This is your office.

- Where you going?

Why are you leaving?

You left on a jetpack.

There was one inaccuracy in the book.

Stacy.

They're making.

They're not making love.

I'm not even gonna say it.

But she does say, with
the mess that happens,

"This lesbian stuff is fun.

No mess to clean up."

I can assure you there
is a mess to clean up.

- I think that's absurd.

There's always a mess.

- There's mess when I'm by myself.

- Even if you aren't a
squirting type of person,

there's mess.

There's something.

- Can we address squirting?

- Okay.

- It looks very urinish to me.

The research I've done is
that it is mostly urine.

- I always thought I was peeing.

- I watched a porn once
called Chunky's Angels.

And, at the very end, this
woman named Bridget Waters,

her big finisher was to do that.

And she did it all over this sad mattress

in the back of this art gallery.

The art gallery owner had a lot of tension

and Chunky's Angels came and
helped him with his tension.

- Angels, angels.

But you think it was pee?

- And I was like, "That
has to be pee pee."

- It's definitely pee.

People make arguments that it's not.

- She looked hydrated.

- I've seen yellow.

And I'm like, "No, ma'am.

No, ma'am."

- I have seen clear.

- I've seen clear.

I'm sorry.

From myself.

- Kendra, we all know we mean ourselves.

We either mean ourselves,
a partner, or porn.

All we're talking about here.

Those are
the only possibilities.

- Or we're just lying.

- So, there is a pick up along the canal

of whatever juices are
lubricating you that

make it clear or whitish.

But then, if you keep going,
it's yellow, 'cause it's pee.

But that's my belief.

- That's a doctor's opinion.

It's an opinion.

It is an opinion.

- We're going to have to
talk to another doctor.

- Second opinion.

That's so funny.

Great.

I mean, so, she's wrong.

There's a mess.

- There is a mess.

- Regardless, there's always a mess.

- It didn't say she squirted.

- Yeah, it didn't say she squirted.

But I still think there's
a little something.

Especially if you're fingering.

You've got juices on your hands.

- And just the way they describe.

She reaches a very, as
always, climactic orgasm.

- At least you clean
the dildo or something.

It's medical.

It's a medical use dildo.

- And, if it's in the drawer,

that means other patients get
the same treatment probably.

- It's not like a popsicle?

There's not 20 of them in there?

- Make it disposable.

Like when they take out the
little thing to put in your ear.

And then they just throw that out.

- But it's not the whole machine.

It's just a little cover.

- There's an insert on the dildo.

Maybe like the ear thing.

- I was gonna say.

I didn't read that.

You made that up.

- I'm making it up.

- I'm just gonna assume that it was there

because she's a doctor.

- Well, when they use a probe

for the transvaginal ultrasounds,
there's a condom on it.

- So, you know, that makes
more sense than just being.

- I would like to think
Doctor Burnett would.

Given everything that I know of her.

- She sounds like she's on her A game.

- Her headache is gone.

The doctor unbuckles her harness.

She's like, "Alright, well,
time for the next patient."

- So abrupt.

So crazy that there are
other patients waiting.

- She does mention that
she makes house calls.

Oh, I loved this part.

She slides her business
card in Stacy's butt

and then their lips are real close.

And they have a little kiss.

Which I think is their first kiss.

- Which is hot.

- I thought this was real.

What a cool.

I wrote, "Doc is so cool."

Stacy is left wondering,

"Maybe I'm a straight up lesbian."

Again, Stacy's direct words.

Yeah, and then the doctor gives a little

"Call me and I will come.

And so will you."

Lights out.

- Can you imagine if your
hot doctor said that to you?

- If my eye doctor told me that.

- If half of your eye doctor.

- It's like, "Who said that?"

- You need your ear doctor.

- The next book is called Home Treatment.

And there was a little
blurb of it past this one.

She still keeps referring
to her as the older woman.

But they go to Stacy's house

and she gives her a little home treatment.

- So, this relationship continues.

I do love how, very stereotypically,

the doctor was like,
"Alright, baby, I'm out."

And then left her there to
clean up herself by herself.

- That's so funny.

Humiliated.

- Right.

No cuddling or anything.

- And you never know
what to do with the gown.

- Put this in hazard.

The paper's ripped.

- I will say I appreciated

Stacy's journey to self-discovery.

Because she came in there like

"Am I a lesbian?

Am I not?

I don't know."

- Well, she was definitely no, at first.

Or she thought she was.

- And, by the end of it, she was like,

"You know what?

I am."

And she wasn't ashamed of it.

She was ashamed of it in the beginning.

- That's beautiful.

And, to Jess's point, she realized that

she was not being sexually satisfied

in a way that was satisfying to her.

She was not having sex
that was satisfying to her.

Which is nice.

- I think sometimes people assume

maybe I just don't like sex.

And maybe you don't.

Maybe you are asexual.

Or maybe.

But, yeah, never think I have to be normal

to what other people
think is this or that.

It's all about finding
what's good for you.

And that's what Stress Treatment's about.

- This story's about acceptance.

- This story's about acceptance.

- So, what did we think?

If you had to rate this on our scale,

which is one is a drought.

Five is slide off your chair.

- And we can also keep the
different categories in mind.

Does this fulfill our lesbian,

medical, and first time expectations?

- If I'm in the same position or just me

as I exist in this world right now?

Just speak from your heart.

- Yeah, for you.

I would say you as a reader of this.

And then you can also separately.

What was your enjoyment level?

- Well, it had a very good
entertainment value for me.

Not necessarily of the sexual nature.

So, I give it a 1.5,
'cause I was excited that

they were enjoying themselves.

But, as for me as a bystander
or witness to their whatever,

I was like this word is spelled wrong.

So, I wasn't really.

- You didn't lose yourself in it.

- You don't correct someone's grammar

when you're having sex if it's good.

- Right, right.

If they say the wrong word
and I'm really into it,

I don't care.

I may laugh at them afterwards.

But during I won't.

Kendra.

- I went in waves.

Some like, "Yeah, she's
never had an orgasm.

She's about to have one."

And then they said cunt
and it went back down.

And then I'm like,
"Yeah, she had an orgasm.

This is empowering."

And then something else happened.

I forgot.

I don't remember what the word was.

Oh, the math problem took me out.

The math problem.

- The calculus exam in
the middle of the bus.

- Not sexy.

So, I guess I would probably.

Because I came in waves.

It came in waves.

I didn't come in waves.

- Well, do you normally cum in waves?

- I've died and reborn
a thousand times over

inaudible waves.

- A thousand.

A thousand.

- I'll give it a two.

'Cause there were some ups.

- Yeah, I mean, Doctor Burnett

really won me over by the end.

I honestly wish the next
books were about her

and each new patient that she meets.

And her just fucking
taking care of business.

Yeah, sexually
liberating everyone.

- I think, in the movie,

she's kind of like a
Tomb Raider-style chick.

- I will say, Jess, did you not say

you wish to play Doctor
Burnett in the movie?

- I also said, if I put
every last dime I have

into my Stress Treatment script,

that I would cast myself as Doctor.

Like, what's up?

- Oh my god.

- I mean, our first strap-on.

I gotta give this a 2.5.

At least.

I mean, you know.

- Yeah, I'm kind of with you and Kendra

of somewhere in the two to 2.5 range.

I felt little waves of things.

If I made that fingering
consensual, that was fun.

But you're doing another math problem.

I'm not here to take the SATs.

And the strap-on was cool.

It wasn't totally my thing in terms of.

I don't know.

The size stuff.

I'm not interested in that stuff.

- It matters so much more
to men, I feel, than women.

- Yes, exactly.

- Size.

Not size.

But the actual number.

- Oh, the number.

Yeah, the number doesn't matter.

- I can see it.

It looks nice.

- Good for you.

Who cares?

But I liked her pleasure.

I liked the descriptions of the orgasms.

I like.

Yeah, I like, you know,

we get a shout out to small boobs.

That's really nice.

It's cute.

It's alright.

Yeah, so, I'd put it at a two, 2.5.

- Yeah, nice.

A pretty slightly below average book.

- But it's really funny.

I laughed a lot.

- You know what I liked most about it?

I feel like we've had just
lots of great conversation

that had nothing to do with
the plot or characters.

Was there a plot?

- Not totally.

- You know, plot.

I sat in a doctor's office.

She fucked me.

I left.

- The classic tale.

Short story.

- But the character did have an arc,

'cause she was not at all lesbian.

And then was like, "Oh, I am a lesbian."

- This is a character story.

You have Inception stories where

it's more about the plot.

And then you have some character ones

where it's more about
character development.

- You know how quick doctor's visits are.

Sometimes you're there for five minutes.

We don't even know how long this was.

This could have been
a five minute journey.

- For two treatments?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, you know that refractory period

for people who have multiple orgasms.

- True, 10 minutes.

- It's pretty.

Oh, I was gonna say short.

But okay.

It depends.

It depends.

Every person is different.

I'm assuming she had a quick
one if this was very short.

Because they have short, medium, and long.

And they schedule people based on

how much time they need to spend.

A headache was short.

- Headache was short.

- I think that this
took the amount of time

it took to read the book.

I think she was in there for 30 minutes.

This happened in real time.

- 30.

Oh, okay, I like real time.

Another dimension to the book.

- But I don't think this
happened in our universe.

I think time is.

- This is a different cinematic universe.

- It puzzles me that there was not really

any question surrounding the headaches

or the nature of them or
if anything triggers them.

Et cetera.

Or even this consideration of imaging

or anything like that.

It was just like "You have a headache

'cause you didn't get fucked.

So, let's adjust that."

And then I was like,

"But what if something really is wrong?"

- Stacy died of a brain tumor.

- Stacy died during this treatment.

- You have to listen to women.

- Listen to women.

- Listen to women in the
medical field, please.

- Very true.

Thank you all so much for.

Well, first of all, thank our guests.

- Thank you so much, Kalilah.

Thank you, Kendra.

- And thank you for listening.

We do have our next book picked out.

This is another fan rec.

We absolutely love fan recs.

It's another great reason to be on Dropout

and in the Discord.

'Cause people are giving
us fun ones all the time.

But this one I'm just so excited about.

Because it's our first graphic novel.

So, we won't have to
imagine it in our heads.

It'll be right there.

The work is done for us.

Will we like that?

We'll find out.

This isn't on Amazon.

And I'm going to seem
like a real old woman

trying to describe how to get to this.

You go to buttsmithy.com.

The author's name is incase.

I, n, c, a, s, e.

And the book is called Alfie.

We'll have all of the
information on our Discord,

as well, as we always do.

This is the story of a
remote halfling village

coming into contact with
humans for the first time.

I wonder what they'll do.

- Play cards?

- They'll probably play cards.

Go fishing.

- Intellectual conversation.

- So, that is book for next time.

Incase Alfie.

This was a fan rec from Toastwizard.

Buttsmithy.com.

Thank you all for being here.

Have a sexy life.

- Have a sexy life, everyone.

Thank you.

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