All language subtitles for E.B.C.S01E06.Shared by Lumberjacks

- Hello everybody, welcome
back to Erotic Book Club.

I am your host, Jess Ross.

With me as always is my co-host.

- Hello, I'm Rekha Shankar.

- Thank you so much, not
sure how you're watching us

or listening to us, if
you're on our Dropout,

if you're on CH2, if you're on iTunes,

all of 'em are great ways.

Our favorite way, of
course, is through Dropout,

'cause you get to listen to it first

and you get to check out
all of our other content,

shows like D20, What The Fuck 101,

other podcasts, the CollegeHumor podcast,

Tales from the Closet, and
of course, Erotic Book Club.

And our favorite part is
becoming being on our Discord.

We have so much fun on there,

it's our channel where you
can talk to us directly

after you watch the episode
or in between episodes.

We have some fun comments from fans.

We got Doc Mayham who really made my week.

He said, I keep Dropout just for

Erotic Book Club, awesome show.

- Thank you so much.

- And I truly thought that
that was so sweet and special.

Maybe it's a lie, but hey,
sometimes a lie's nice.

Sometimes a little nice
lie made somebody's day.

And you make my day Doc Mayham.

Random geek named Brent said,
they're, being Rehka and I,

are cool with talking about animal dicks

and monster fucking, they gotta get some

furry erotica up in this bitch.

We do the best that we can, trying to find

vast array of different
content that we think

people may enjoy so we're look out for

some furry dicks for you, Brent.

- Just for you.

- Just for you, a little gift.

- It's a gift, yeah.

- We also have some beautiful
Nessie fanart in there.

We have some depictions
of the big beast himself.

- The big beast himself,
throbbing abs and all.

- Throbbing abs and two cocks,

just the way I like him.

- Yeah.

- As well as a gorgeous one,
I wish I could have shared it,

we didn't get the rights quick enough

or signed things quick enough

but there's a gorgeous one of Ferguson,

the captain for Nessie, steering the boat.

- Like a captain's wheel.

- With his little, not
even little, with his.

- Giant.

- Big penis out.

- And I had a thought for
it, I don't wanna like,

feedback is just feedback,
I think this piece of art

is beautiful, one thought I had

what if the dick was the
spoke of the captain's wheel?

I love that.

- I think it could be a nice way to marry

the two things already naturally
going on in that picture.

- If you got this custom
commissioned for your house

that would be a lovely addition.

- If this was like an Etsy situation

and I was getting something custom made

and if that was like the draft I reviewed,

I would be like wow,
this is really stunning,

I hope this isn't too much work

but could you connect the
wheel to his hard cock.

- I don't know a ton about Photoshop

but I feel like that wouldn't
be too hard of a change.

- Yeah, if it is, egg on my face.

- Egg on my penis.

- The book for this week
as we mentioned last week

is Shared by Lumberjacks
by Eddie Cleveland.

- Yes and who better
to talk about this book

than our two expert guests.

- We're so lucky.

With us are leading character in the book

is a red-headed woman from the city

who wears glasses and it's a
bit of a conflict on and off

and so we knew we had
to get our red-headed,

glasses wearing expert, Annie.

- Hello, I'm glad to be here.

- Thank you so much for being here.

- I will provide my expertise.

- Yes, your perspective
is very much needed.

- Good, I'm glad I could share that.

- We also have another expert here.

- Yes.

- This book takes place in a cabin

in the woods in like a wintry setting.

- A lumberjack's natural environment.

- Yes, that's where
they're born and raised

and so to speak on trees and nature

and what those are like we have our own

Jessica Clemons from Olympia, Washington.

- Hi, nice to be here,
big tree enthusiast.

- Jess, what's your favorite tree?

- I mean, dunno a lot, if I had to choose

I would have to say
Douglas fir, maybe a cedar.

- Wow, this is incredible.

- You got two for two.

- What does a Douglas fir look like?

- I don't want to criticize it

because it's Black History
Month and they named it after.

- Frederick Douglass?

- Yeah, Frederick Douglass and
it's not that big of a tree.

- Oh.

- It's kinda of like really shrubby

but these were the ones
that were in Washington.

I don't know if they were
supposed to be there.

It's like a little bush?

Isn't it a Christmas tree?

- No, that's the evergreen tree.

Isn't that a pine tree?

See, you guys are
questioning my expertise now.

- I don't mean to do that.

- I apologize.

- I'm from a place that has a lot of them.

- And that's why you're here.

- You also wear glasses.

- Yeah and I'm also a lumberjack.

- Yeah.

- That was a cool fact, I'm
glad that I learned it today.

- Me too.

- Shared by Lumberjacks.

The characters, in case
you haven't read it,

we wanna help you along listening.

We have our lead, Mary, a
red-headed, glasses wearing woman.

She writes books in the city.

She writes books, they're
romance novels with no sex.

They're a bit more like a
Hallmark movie, if you will.

It's usually Christmas in them

and a city woman goes out to the country

and finds love there, you're
typical Hallmark story.

- Like an Alyssa Milano kind of vehicle.

- Really?

Is that who you'd pick first?

- I think I've seem
her in Hallmark movies.

I saw her in one where she
had like two boyfriends

which is like a little similar to this.

- Oooh.

Maybe it's the inspiration.

- Maybe.

- She was the inspiration for Ariel.

- Alyssa Milano?

- I believe so.

- Another red-head.

- Another red head.

- Wait, isn't Little Mermaid,
doesn't that precede her?

- No, when she was a child actress,

they took her face and drew
her up and that's who Ariel is.

We have so many facts today.

- Also, I don't mean to do this
but I'm gonna bring it back.

I was completely wrong
about the Douglas fir.

I got em mixed up with a different tree.

The Douglas fir is
actually a very large tree

but it does not have a lot of branches

so I'm gonna hold on to half my statement.

- Yeah.

- I love an expert who keeps it real.

- Yeah and keep checking
in with the Douglas fir

throughout the pod too,
like posting updates.

- Yeah, if anything
changes throughout the day.

- I will.

- Breaking news.

- Douglas fir is actually something else.

- The Douglas fir, I was wrong.

- It's important to
admit when you're wrong.

- You know what, it was a fake tree.

We have Mary's agent,
Nancy, who is the one

who has her go out to
meet our lumberjacks.

And then of course, we
have our lumberjacks.

Hardy and Owen.

- Mmmm.

- Now, I have cast this as
Tom Hardy and Owen Wilson.

- Okay.

- Anyone else have anyone else in mind?

- I kind of imagined both of
them to look like Paul Bunyan.

Like huge, huge burly men with axes.

- Aren't they like eight foot?

- Yeah.

- Whoa, that's crazy.

- Paul Bunyan, I think, also had red hair.

- Would you make love
with an eight foot man?

- The situation has
never presented itself.

- Absolutely.

- But maybe, yeah, I
could then tell everybody

I had sex with this dude
who's eight feet tall,

have you ever done that, probably not.

- I just watched the Andre
the Giant documentary

and they were talking about
what a ladies' man he was

and I was like I just don't know if could

and I'm a bigger woman but I
think he would tear me apart.

- I do wonder a bit about
how do you situate yourselves

when I'm 5'3 so
I'm 5'3 as well.

- If somebody's that much
taller where do your, I dunno.

- You would have to be on top.

- He?

- You.

You would
die, he would crush you.

- Yeah, I would die.

- The plus side is you're
small enough to be put places

like on the wall or his shoulders.

- On the wall?

- Like a picture, like a framed picture.

He would hang you up
by your coat on a hook.

- Like two stooge kids
like in a teen show.

Oh my god.

- So two 8 foot tall lumberjacks
live out by this cabin.

- Two Owen Wilsons live by a cabin.

- Our story begins, it's Christmas

and she's listening to some holiday hits.

There's a beautiful description
of the mountain view

that she's driving down
and then we get a bit of a

flashback as to what led her
to going out to the cabin.

She's with her agent, Nancy,
she's sitting in a chair,

wearing her robin-egg
blue thick rimmed glasses,

kind of hiding behind them as one does.

She's suffering from writer's block.

She's a New York Times bestseller

but she just can't get
this next book written.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- We've all been there.

- We've all been there.

Which they're all about
fucking Christmas and two men.

Not two men, they're all
about Christmas and a guy.

I dunno, what kind of writer's block?

Maybe you've just written
all there is to say.

- I just keep thinking
that maybe this is what

the author thinks that women like.

Yes, totally.

- It's just like Christmas and.

Love.

- And don't get me wrong, I do,

there wasn't enough Christmas in the book.

- There wasn't, actually.

- There was no presents,
there was no tree.

- Yeah.

- There was no wreath.

There was no reindeer.

- Crazy to have a lumberjack book

that doesn't actually have trees.

- The parts that did
have trees were very sexy

and I can't wait to get to that.

So the agent has her go out to the woods

to have a bit of an inspiration.

Do trees offer inspiration?

Maybe for Mary.

- Yeah.

- Oh yeah or for red-heads
in particular perhaps.

- Wait, I want to back track on one thing

which is Nancy has one of my
favorite quotes of the book.

Nancy, her agent, which is,
a good man is hard to find

and a hard man is good to find.

I think that's a nice
sort of Christmas saying.

- Maybe you'll find a
hard man under the tree.

Who knows?

- You open up a Christmas card.

You know the front of it.

- Then put it up on the mantle.

- Yeah, the front is a
good man is hard to find.

You open it.
- And it's like a pop-up.

- And it's like a nativity scene

and it says a hard man is good to find.

- That is such a great line.

- And it's from your dad's co-worker.

- I want that stitched on a pillow

in my living room, on my
couch, that's so cute.

- I would totally hang with Nancy.

- Yeah.

- Nancy's one of the coolest people to me

and I'm so sad that she's only
in like the beginning really.

- Yeah.

- Because she's so badass.

- She takes no BS.

- Yeah.

- If she was at that cabin,
she'd be like, what the fuck?

- But also she cares for her friend.

Her friend's hitting a
really, not even friend,

this is like a working relationship,

her client, she takes the time to go

hey, I understand your stressed,

you're not hitting the deadlines.

It's no big deal, go out to the woods,

I got you an AirBnB.
- I got you a cabin.

- I'll rent you a cabin.

- I'll rent you a cabin.

I would love for somebody
to rent me a cabin.

- I've never been in a cabin?

- What, Rehka.

- Are you serious?

- Gotta hit some writer's block.

- I wanna take you to a cabin.

What if this happens to us?

- What if this does happen to us.

- Oh my god, Rehka,
we're going to a cabin.

- I think I would lose my fucking mind

if this happened to us.

- Cabins are so much fun.

- Cabins are so amazing.

- I would love to.

- I spend too much time in cabins.

I love cabins.

- Expert.

- On cabins.

- So she drives up and she sees the cabin.

She thinks in her mind
it's going to be one thing.

What do you think maybe?

Let's hear from someone
who hasn't been to a cabin.

- I was like so confused,
it's like a ca-what?

I was so confused.

I think I thought it would
be like cos she was also

hyping up all the cabins she
has been to that are very nice

and very cozy so I was
kinda expecting that.

- And talking about
AirBnbs that give her wine

and fruit baskets, I was like
where the fuck are you going.

- I literally stayed at an AirBnb

where the person also
stayed there in their room.

And there was a cat that threw-up.

- All I get is a pan full of bacon fat.

I don't get a bottle of
wine when I go to an AirBnb.

- Yeah, no.

- And she said a nice bottle of wine.

- Yeah.

- She's used to the lux treatment.

- One not in a box.

- How can she tell when it's nice.

- The picture on the front, you idiot.

- If the pictures like a
painting kind of thing it's nice.

If it's like a cartoon fish, it's bad.

- So she gets there and it's
not quite what she thinks.

It's a little crappier, the
one that maybe I would stay at.

- She described it, I think as a shack.

- Yeah.

- I imagined it to be
just like a small room

with this stone staircase
going up to a bedroom

but like a hot plate
not even like a stove.

- I think so, I mean they
do make pancakes later

which I'm like wow,
that's pretty ambitious.

And she does cook dinner.

- I think it's a nice cabin,

I think she's just used to luxury.

- She's just bougie as shit.

- I mean, she wears blue rimmed glasses.

That is true.

- She doesn't even say they
were like Warbys or anything.

- She does seem pretty bougie.

- So she has to force her way
in, it's a little difficult.

She's not seeing the owner,
she is seeing down the hill

there's another cabin and a truck.

- And she's hearing eventually
as she starts to write

a lot of buzzing noises.
- Yes.

- And things that are
disturbing her process.

- And how could she possibly
focus with any outside noise?

There's never any of that in New York?

- She's coming from New York City,

she's not used to this kind of thing.

- I love the introduction of the men.

I love that she sits down
and we hear this like

which she says it sounds like

10 million mosquitoes on steroids.

The metaphor.

I know exactly
what that sounds like.

- And they're all juicing too.

- She keeps hearing it and then she goes

and sees that they're two men down there

and she describes watching them.

The manly way they make
nature bend to their will.

I thought that was hot as fuck.

- That's very nice.

- You rolled your eyes.

That's hot as fuck.

- I'm like oh my god, okay, we get it.

- It's like an air bender.

- That was like the first
sort of sexy phrasing we heard

and I was like okay.

Yeah, I have
a tiny less air bender.

- Something hot like that series.

- Don't you think someone bending nature

to their will is sexy?

- Yeah.

- Paul Bunyan did that.

He created the Grand Canyon.

- Oh my god, grandmother Willow's so hot.

- So she's kinda checking
'em out down there

but she's also a little irritated by them

and she keeps pushing up her glasses

because she's uptight and she
doesn't like these forest men.

- And her glasses don't fit.

- And she was promised this quiet getaway.

- That is true.

- And she feels like she didn't
get what she signed up for.

- Yes.

- So she takes things into
her own hands, a little bit.

And this is one of those books
that switches perspectives.

Which I always love.

- Which I like.

And we kinda jump into
Hardy's perspective.

- Yes and we get this sensual description.

I wrote down the sound of the saw,

sawdust floating like snowflakes.

Hard work equals good pay.

Work carefully not destroying the world.

- I was so on board for this.

- Yes, they seems very
eco-friendly lumberjacks.

I was like damn we're
about to get into it.

- One of my other favorite
parts of this book

is when Owen and Hardy
are just casually talking

about their lumberjacking
business which has been

passed on from somebody's
great grandfather.

- Yes.

- Because I don't think they're related.

- They're not.

- We don't know if they're related.

- We don't know.

- They're just co-workers and roommates?

- I guess so.

- I think they're cousins.

- Oh.

- It's just a thought I have.

It doesn't make me like it more.

- Mmm, okay.

- They said their grandfather.

- Did it say their?

Okay, I don't remember.

- I thought it was just both
their grandpas worked together

and thereby they just had to be friends

because they're like,
well it's the lumberjacks.

- There's not many other people out there.

- In the forest cutting trees.

- Well, basically, she comes down to,

one of my favorite parts of the book,

is they're talking about lumberjacking.

And Owen, they're talking about

how they need to keep the business going,

and he goes, haven't you ever heard of,

oh sorry, why they need
to keep the cabin going.

Why they're renting out
to someone who's annoying

and why don't they stop doing that.

Have you ever heard of
passive income, man?

It's called diversifying.

I think that is incredible.

- I thought that was good.

- He knows.

- Business savvy Owen.

I am all for Owen Wilson in this book.

- He said he wanted to have
a vacation rental empire.

Yes.

- This is their only property as of now

but you gotta start somewhere.

- And their first client and
it's already kind of failing.

- It's already failing.

- And she's been there 10 minutes.

- It's terrible.

- I was so into that.

- She calls them out,
they start getting into

a bit of a confrontation.

She's saying you guys gotta keep it down.

Hardy in particular, Owen's
the one tryna keep the peace

most of the time but
Hardy's the one who's like

you're just an uptight city woman.

- Yeah, Hardy sucks.

- The book gets a little meta too.

It kinda starts to talk
about what happens in typical

romance novels which I
found somewhat interesting.

I was like oh is this gonna
be like the whole book.

Like it's a bit of a meta
take and we're gonna subvert

the things that usually happen.

It doesn't.

But you know. Sometimes you just read

and you gotta think some
things in your head.

- And this is the first time we get

a little taste of sex because.

Rehka, how dare you?

- Sorry.

Hardy describes seeing her, I wrote chest

but I'm fairly sure he says tits

and butt, he probably says ass

through her coat which immediately.

Here's the thing, as a woman,

she is either wearing a peacoat,

which is not warm in the dead of winter

in upstate New York which is crazy.

Or he's full of shit because she's wearing

a Gortex fucking giant marshmallow.

- Like a down coat.

- I was like, you can't see anything

through an actual winter
coat, for most people.

- I thought he was talking about more that

you could see it from the side.

You know that when the booty's so big.

- I guess the booty is so big,

if the booty is really
that big, I guess so.

- He does describe it as
her big, beautiful ass

sways back and forth as she
marches back up the hill.

- Like a duck.

- Doesn't she fall on a
patch of snow and screams.

And the first words he uses
to describe her is shrill.

He says shrill.

- I was like, great Hardy.

- It's a bit of a bummer what a jerk.

- That's why Tom Hardy is playing him.

- You think Tom Hardy's a jerk?

- No.

- His name is Hardy.

- Hardy certainly is.

- Yes.

- I think Tom Hardy would
say this in the role.

Like he would be really good
at playing in this part.

- Of course he would, Jessica.

I'm sorry.

- I gotta start a Tom Hardy podcast.

I really love that man.

- Hardy working.

Here's where we get to the good stuff.

We get to Owen's chapter and I love Owen.

I will be with Owen.

- He's sweet.

- I like him and one thing
that we hear in this chapter

that I highlight, I wrote.

Read it aloud.

- She has brown eyes, yes bitch.

That is the closest,
second closest or closest,

we've come to having a person
of color as a protagonist

which is so fucking sad.

She is certainly white but
at least she has brown eyes

and not mystical blue eyes like every

fucking protagonist in every
fucking thing on earth.

- She has mystical blue glasses though.

- She does.

- Sorry Rehka.

- Get outta here with your
dumb, blue eyes, Jessica.

- The devil.

- That defy the laws of nature.

They're recessive.

- Oh my gosh.

- Mary goes back up to her cabin upset.

Owen doesn't want to lose
diversifying his portfolio.

Who among us would?

So he goes up to make sure he
doesn't get a one star review.

He describes her as, she's
kind of fallen on the floor,

upset by this encounter.

- Oh yeah, she's crying
in ball on the floor.

- She broke her suitcase.

- She broke the handle on her suitcase.

- I get it, it's upsetting.

- She described that she
writes romantic novels to him

and Hardy basically ridicules her for it.

Like oh those dumb,
what kind do you write?

Like Hallmark or 50 Shades?

- He shits on 50 Shades.

- And he doesn't seem to like either.

- No.

- He wants like fucking.

- If he reads which he
doesn't because he's a man.

- I think there's a part
in it where he's like,

women want to be fucked,
that's all they want.

I was like, okay, Hardy calm down.

- He says it a lot.

- I don't think he's met a lot of women.

- Usually philosophical
about a group of people

he doesn't know much about.

- He says that she
doesn't know how to write

real men because.

- Because her men are considerate.

- Yeah, nice.

- Yes, considerate and
thoughtful and want like romance

and he's like that's not a real man.

A real man will bend you to your will

like I do with nature.

Like trees.

- Like I do with nature.

- I dunno.

- He wants to cut a woman with a log.

- We're tearing you down like I do.

- I was curious because
he implies that no man

even ones who are your
friends and are being nice

really feel that way and
they just want to fuck you.

- Which is so boring and stupid.

- Do you think it's true?

Deep down inside.

- That all men will wanna fuck me?

Wait, are we talking about.

- And Jess in particular.

- Like yeah.

- I just wonder, I wish I had the power

that Taraji has in What Men Want

and I wish I just knew for a day

if that is truly what everyone thought.

And if I kinda liked it.

- I think part of the meta
thing that's interesting

is Hardy is saying all that stuff.

Yeah.

- Now, we're in Owen's
chapter, she's crying.

Owen says, she goes,
it's stupid I'm crying.

He goes, it's not stupid if you're crying

which is one of those male characters

that Hardy is saying is not real

that is now being also written into.

- So he is real.

- Oh my god, Owen, you
had me at crying, oh boy.

Oh, Owen.

- You had me at
diversifying passive income.

- Yup, a man that's about money.

- And he fixes her suitcase
which is so thoughtful.

- It seemed really simple in the book.

He popped it back in.

- It seemed like when a lid pops off

your remote or something.

- He was just like, okay.

- When she describes
getting into the cabin too.

She hits it with her
elbow and then she's like

I had such a sense of accomplishment.

I'm like you are a best selling author.

- But I lifted a box.

- He describes as he's seeing
her, which I liked this part.

I imagined easing my cock
between her full lips

watching it disappear into
her mouth, inch by inch.

He's fantasizing this,
nothing sexual between them

has happened yet besides
kind of the chemistry flying.

But I just like hearing
a man's perspective

as to maybe what a blow job would be like.

- Yeah, we know how I feel
about Owen, I love him.

- We know how I feel.

- I love it.

- So they have a bit of a moment,

talk about her curves,
she's a curvy woman.

- Which I hope, leave
that to your imagination,

if that means actually curvy
or if she's like a size two.

- With a little boob and butt.

- With a little boob butt.

- He might go home and
jerk off to the experience

afterwards, is how the chapter ends.

- I thought that was a
great ending to the chapter.

- I loved that, yeah.

A little cliffhanger, will he or won't he.

- Then, here's an action chapter.

- Yes, you do have a little bit of action.

This book has some romance,
some sex, some action

before we even get to the sexual action

we get into an adventure scene.

- Oh, this is really exciting.

- She's feeling inspired,
she's imagining herself

on a LaLaLand-esque date with Owen.

They say LaLaLand.

- Literally say it.

- I thought so too.

- Yeah, we've lived long enough
to see LaLaLand in a book.

- In an erotic novel.

- You'll never live long enough.

- I guess that book must
not be too old then.

Oh my gosh.

- Yeah.

No, within the last year or two.

- She's going to write, she's inspired

and she's writing a book about lumberjacks

so we're even in a bit of a, you know,

going deeper in the meta hole here.

- She starts writing her hero.

- Yes.

- Which is based off a
lumberjack or is a lumberjack

but she's stunted when it comes
to writing the female lead

so that's why she goes on
this walk in the woods.

- Oh my gosh, this is this part.

- Too scary?

- She sees Hardy and she's
a bit cranky at him again

and he's kind of yelling
at her from a distance

and she's like, this asshole.

- She thinks he yells up at her that

he wants to strip her bare and she's like

he couldn't possibly have said that.

- A man I only met once.

- She stomps away.

- Who I'm renting a cabin
from couldn't possibly

have screamed that at me from a distance.

- But she was thinking about it.

- He almost said it like it was a warning

and I dunno there was a
giant animal coming at me.

- Go, go, go, keep going, I
wanna hear what happens next.

I remember what happens next.

- He doesn't want to strip her bare.

There is a bear.

- Oooohh.

There is a bear behind.

- She sees a brown flash walk by her.

Woman of color.

Yeah.

- And it's a bear, it's a giant bear

and she screams because she's
so startled by this bear

and the bear stands up on
it's legs, growls at her.

- I don't want to be that
person but I know bears.

- Double expert.

- Nature, bears, same difference.

- Yeah.

- So you don't scream at a
bear and just stand there.

In the book that's what she did

and then when Hardy came to
the rescue because he's Hardy,

he has to, who else
would it be, Owen's gone.

Owen's too soft.

- And he just starts fighting,
he stares down the bear

and starts screaming at it.

- I thought you did make loud noises.

I thought you go, go away!

- I thought you're supposed
to curl up in a ball.

- I thought you were supposed
to make yourself big.

- No, I think you make noises Jess.

- Wait a minute.

- I thought cougars were supposed to big.

- Cougars, who has warnings about cougars?

- Look, maybe it's in Washington.

I thought mountain lions
you were supposed to be

loud and big and bears
will still come at you

especially if there's a cub.

- Wait, this is dangerous.

We have two opposing views
on how to deal with the bear.

You either get really, really small

or you get really, really big.

- I think you make a lot of noise.

I don't think you crawl up into a ball.

He's gonna come and eat you like a tomato.

- But they don't eat dead things

that's why you're supposed to play dead.

- Yeah, I've heard that.

Oh, I can't eat this, it's dead.

- Yeah, bears are like that.

No.

- They're weird.

- Did you see The Revenant?

Oh my god,
do not start with that.

- He goes to town on that
man and he's crawling around,

he might as well be dead.

Okay, either way.

- When I see a bear, I think it's a house

so I, like in The Revenant.

- Crawl, crawl away from it.

- Diversifying my passive
income used to buy us a house.

- This part was scary, I
was chased by a moose once

so anything with wild
animals really gets me.

So he saves her.

Whaddya laughing about?

- Yeah, the next chapter.

- She's saved, she's very thankful

and she says to thank you
I'm gonna cook you dinner.

- And at first they decline, they're like

we have food, we don't need your dinner.

- By we, we mean Hardy,
Owen would've said yes.

- Okay one time Katie, Raff and I

were hanging out and we
were near my apartment

and we got ice cream and I was like

oh do you guys wanna come
back and we can watch TV,

watch something or whatever
and Katie was like yeah

and Raff goes no, I have a TV.

- That's rude.

That's rude, Raff.

- I'm not inviting you
for a novel experience.

I was like if you want keep hanging out

my apartment is here.

- Yeah but is your TV a color television

or is it black and white.

- Yes, it's color.

It was just so stupid so you should

make fun of Raff for that.

Anyway.

- So they go to her house,
she cooks them a lovely meal.

She's telling them a story about a time

when she went to a party
dressed as a sexy maid.

Oh yeah.

- A Halloween party.

- At a professor's house, by the way.

- It's a wild party.
- It's a wild party.

So she dresses up for the
wild party as a sexy maid.

She goes everyone else is dressed more in.

- Someone's dressed like Dorian Gray.

- Yes and we come to find
it was an Oscar Wilde party.

- Wild with an E.

- She left and that was the
last of her sexual experiences.

- The last of her sexual experiences

to be clear is her wearing
a maid outfit to a party.

- Not even going to the party.

- Yeah never went that racy again.

- She ran away.

- At this dinner, as
she's telling the story,

and they're all laughing
and having a good time

she talks about how
she makes very good pie

and the pie is in fact very juicy.

- A juicy pie would be bad.

- And sweet.

Yeah, soggy bottom.

- It'd be a soggy bottom.

- I would never use the word
juicy to describe a pie.

Maybe the inside.

- Even the inside.

Maybe that's what she means.

- Not too juicy.

- It's more wet, I
dunno, juicy to me means

- Either way.

- When you bite into it, it like bursts.

- Spurts.

- Maybe that's the pie she's making,

maybe it's a sloppy pie.

- A whole peach, whole peaches.

- You've never Mary's pie, okay.

- I made my famous sloppy pie.

- You want this sloppy pie?

- Mary's berry.

- Oh no, don't bring Mary Berry into this.

- I love her.

- She doesn't need to be here.

- It fits the description.

- Ew.

- So Hardy of course hearing this story

gives her a bit of a hard time.

Why don't you let your freak flag fly?

Why do you hide behind those glasses?

I keep bringing up the glasses

because I resent the
whole glasses storyline.

As someone who wears
glasses sometimes people

just need glasses to see, okay.

- They comment on like why
do you need to wear glasses?

- I had a YouTube comment one and it said

what does she think she's
doing wearing those glasses?

And I went I'm seeing you stupid bitch.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

- And even if someone
is wearing fake glasses

as an accessory, who the fuck cares?

It's like you're wearing
a baseball hat, who cares.

- Catch this, here's
your fucking argument,

I'm about to go to town right now.

You know why maybe women wear fake glasses

to seem less sexual at their jobs.

Why would a woman need to play down

her sexuality at her job, huh?

Why would that happen?

Go fuck yourself.

Oh my god.

- Everybody, from this
podcast if you get anything

it's go fuck yourself.

- Oh, it hits me in a way, I'm like

how dare you, I can't even see.

How much of me has to
be policed right now.

That I can't even
fucking see with my eyes.

These sons of bitches.

Fuck you Hardy, fuck you.

- Jess it's okay.

- Yes.

- And then he would just
fuck me on the couch.

- Yeah, get that juicy pie.

- I think you can have both,
I think I can wear glasses

and be fucked by two men.

- And that's the kind of
2019 we want to live in.

- And that' the 2019 I want
myself, I want my daughters

to live in cos this is.

Fucked while wearing glasses?

- Yes.

Cos this is gonna be passed down.

- Oh my god, this is
Jess' Martin Luther King

march on Washington speech.

- For all you women
out there with glasses.

- You can get fucked too.

- We haven't even gotten to
the sex in this book yet.

- We're about to be there.

- We are right there.

- Because my favorite part
comes in the sex part.

- What's your favorite part?

- Let's get to the sex part.

- I have it ready.

- So they get into a bit of
fight, kind of like this.

Maybe I'm getting heated
cos I'm thinking about

the fight in this book.

He's like why won't you
do it and she's like

why haven't you kissed me already.

You haven't even tried.

A nice challenge.

- Yeah and they rise to
the occasion, they kiss.

Yeah and then they do it.

- And she said it's the
best kiss of her life.

She's never felt something
like that from a kiss before.

- During it I just love
that Owen's in the back

and Hardy's in the front.

Always, it's kind of like dogs.

- One thing, she said she was scared

of Owen entering her.

- No, no, wait, let me talk about it.

Okay.

- Sorry didn't mean to cut
you off, I have it right here.

Owen hooks his fingers under the waistband

of my underwear and tugs it
down my ass until it's exposed.

He licks a long line up my crack

and then dives his tongue in
against my forbidden entrance.

My head falls back and body tightens

as the sensation overwhelms me.

I'll tell you why this part gets me.

- Booty eating.

- Bitch, it's an asshole
just call it an asshole.

- Not a forbidden entrance?

- A forbidden entrance.

- What, there was a password to enter.

- Not forbidden in this book,
they go in there all the time.

- Owen shoves his tongue 20 times.

- They're in there like it's their fucking

diversified extra room to rent.

- Yes, diversify that booty hole.

- It's the Legends of the Hidden Temple.

They gotta put the shrine
into the silver monkey

together in her asshole.

- And then there's a temple
guard that comes out.

- Another thing about
her forbidden entrance,

when Owen starts putting
his dick inside of it,

she's like he like starts
kind of going in softly

and then all of sudden
it's right in there.

Is that not dry as fuck?

That's not how it works.

- You had no lube?

It just went right in
and she said he's huge.

- It happens often, they love describing

it's my first time with
something up my butt

and he was gentle at first and
then instantly bam-bam-bam.

It's always gotta be the first.

- And she's never taken
it up the ass before

so I was like yeah.

- This book more than
any other read to me like

a porn transcript once it got to the sex.

I didn't mind that but
it was so much more,

it was like porn that I would watch.

It was like oh yeah fuck me, yeah alright

and more than other books where it's like

and then he touched the
curve of my ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

- It was so hella bare
back, it was just like

no condom just coming straight in.

- There are no condoms
in any of these books.

- This was the nastiest thing
I read in any of the books.

Both penetrate her at the same time,

making her moan like a feral animal.

- Yes and she talked
about that a few times.

Like her animal instincts,
she just couldn't

keep in the sounds she was making.

This is bitch is primal.

- But it was, feral animal.

- If someone described me like
a feral animal, that's sick.

- He is an unfriendly cat.

- Cats scream nasty too.

- He's in heat and she's ready.

- Maybe that's what they
like, you guys, okay.

We're not gonna kink shame.

- And the guys never had a conversation

about fucking her together,
it just kind of happens.

- Definitely not their first time.

- Definitely not their first time.

- What is that between the two men?

These books never go into that too.

What is that say about their relationship?

- They're cool, they're chill,
let's not talk to each other.

- It was always from her perspective.

It was always in the Mary chapters

and I wanted either Owen
or Hardy's perspective

of the sexual encounter
and their hemming like

I didn't want to touch
Owen's cock or whatever.

- A part of it that gets him off is like

and then I looked over
and he was doing this

and I saw his shining chest.

- They obviously get off on that

because he bosses her around, he's like

you're gonna suck Owen's cock right now.

- Yeah.

- So they're into it.

- You're absolutely right, I
would've loved to have heard

it from their perspective and
hear what their taking in.

- Another thing at the
end when they're done

and they're in this tangled
web of each other's limbs

she's like all I care about is them

and all they care about is me.

- Yeah.

- And when I read that
I was like yeah right.

- I was definitely reading it, I was like,

I need to learn more about this

because I felt bad that I was just like

how does she do this, I feel like

I would fight all the
time, I would do all this.

Then I was like oh I guess there are

couples that are sharing.

- There are people in
relationships like this

and it works for them.

I love it, I love it.

- I think that's valuable
to see in erotica

but I do agree with Annie
that only in so far as

everybody's view point is valuable.

Yeah.

- Because it is very typical to see

just the hetro sort of
part of that rather.

- Right now it's more just they adore me

as opposed to if we're
a unit that functions

all together, yeah, what are
you two men to each other.

And what do we all get
out of this relationship

and you know, I like it.

- The dynamic.

- Then they have pancakes.

- This is a little off
topic but I did appreciate

that she has a little bit of a belly.

Yes.

- That they talk about, I do wonder

what the fuck that means cos we're saying

we think this is a male author.

Yes.

- Or at least not a woman
or non-binary author.

Yeah.

- I appreciate a good stomach jiggle.

I do wonder but what do
you think a stomach is.

Do you think meh or is it a stomach?

- Is it like meh?

- Is it a stomach?

That's what I want to know.

- I loved it, I was hear just
for the nod to a stomach.

- A nod.

- It show how much it's
sad because I'm like.

- It's never there.

- I just need like that
one little affirmation

that it's a stomach, that
it's a woman, she's thick.

- And they mention it a few times.

She talks about it and
the men also talk about it

as they stroke her belly.

Yes, representation
is so important.

We even said she is the
closest to a woman of color

because she had brown
eyes, that is very sad.

- I am pulling from the
bottom of the barrel, people.

- It's also the opposite
of my life experience.

It's like most people I'm
with have a little something

and then when of the very
few times someone has been

more ribbed I'm like whoa.

- And you screaming like a feral cat.

- Damn I'm so sexy.

- Sorry to anyone listening to this

and it's upsetting your animals at home

or maybe not upsetting them.

- Yum.

- Pet play, baby.

- They spend the night, nice.

They make some pancakes,
she still has a little bit

of writer's block and she
thinks she's made a mistake

and they're like let's
just chill and be friends,

we don't have to do this.

Let's go frolic in the snow together,

so they all go tobogganing.

- This scene where
they're in this beautiful,

winter escape with the
sled and everything.

And she's saying I never saw
them in this light before.

I kind of imagined that
scene in Beauty in the Beast

where it's like there
must be something there

that wasn't there before.

She's like I had no idea that these guys

could be so sweet and playful.

I just thought they
were burly lumberjacks.

- Oh my god.

- So she's like, I dunno, the winter.

- I love that.

- Jess Clemens you're
freakin at this scene.

- I'm sorry, I'm freakin
cos I was like mmm and also.

Beast?

- Beast is.

Is burly like them.

- Is Hardy and Own,
Beast is both, thank you.

- This is a Beauty and the Beast illusion.

- Beauty and the Beasts.

- Belle loves books, Mary writes books.

I'm just saying.

- Annie is on to something
and we need to get into it.

- This is why we have experts here.

- And then all the plates
and cutlery they were using.

- That danced.

And all the cutlery they fucked.

It was Lumiere.

- It all makes sense.

- They fucked that plate.

- The candlestick she shoved up her ass.

- That was Lumiere in
her forbidden entrance.

You use Lumiere to see into
the forbidden entrance.

- Annie said it's Cocksworth.

- Oh fuck.

- Not Cogsworth, you know.

- Oh my god.

- Instead of Chip, it's Cock.

- Chip n' Dale.

- Clit n' Chip.

- Instead of Chip, it's Cock.

But of course they can't keep

their little cold mittens off each other.

They start doing it outside which doing it

in the snow does not sound
like anything I'd wanna do.

- It sounds horrible.

- She said she really liked it.

Maybe it's great.

- She liked the brisk
wind, which I was like.

- Oh on her nips.

- On nips good.

- Whenever they all start fucking

she's always standing up
and they're taking her

from both sides and one
of them she was like

I straddled my step wider so
that they could eat me out

or whatever but I was
like why are you always

standing up when you fuck them?

- Because I think double penetration

is harder when you're lying down.

- Yeah.

- I guess you would have to mount it.

- You could be on all fours.

- One below and one behind.

- We need a physics expert on here,

we can't really figure this out.

- I did like in this
scene, they finger her

and then have her take a little taste

and she describes it as
slurping off my honey

and oh, you don't like that.

No one can see this our
cameraman does not like that.

- Brady hates it.

- But I like it.

It was my favorite description
of vaginal secretion

that I've heard yet.

I also just really like honey.

- Yeah, honey tastes really good.

- Yeah, honey's just yummy and
it's good for your allergies.

- Fun fact, when Winnie the
Pooh's eating all that honey

it's actually vaginal secretion.

- I read a book where someone
referred to it as milk

and I was like I don't like that.

No.

- I was like I don't like
that but I like honey.

Milk is not from your vagina.

- Neither is honey.

- If it's actually
coming out of your vagina

that to me is oh you
have a yeast infection.

- Yeah, it's bad, you shouldn't
be fucking two lumberjacks.

- Milk or honey?

- Milk.

- Okay, so if honey comes
out of my puss, it's fine.

- It's actually great,
it's really good for you.

- Mmm, okay, Gwyneth Paltrow.

- They also describe her pussy as shaved.

- Yes, I was about to say that.

- Which I was like, okay.

- And a sweet pie.

- It's the dead of winter,
she's not romantically

involved with anybody back in the city

so you have a shaved vagina.

People can remove their
hair for whatever reason

but who are you shaving it for?

For her sad self.

- Mmm, baby girl.

- I keep it child-like for myself.

- I just enjoy myself that way better.

And I love the itchy, awful feeling

of when it grows back.

Oh damn.

- Wait a minute, what's she thinking.

- I love throwing out my razor every time

I'm finished because it's
just destroyed with hair.

- Absolutely, with curls.

- That's insane.

- So they eat each other
out, suck, fuck, all that.

She rips off her glasses.

Ooh I loved this line.

So many good lines in
this one, I will say.

I wanna see the real you, princess.

The dirty slut who wants two fat cocks

inside her at the same time.

I wanna look in your eyes
while you gag on my ten inches.

Hardy wants her to stay
but what will people think.

- Ten inches is.

It's a lot.

- Not that much, oh.

- Oh my god, not that much?

I thought you guys would agree.

- That's almost a ruler.

- What?

- Remember when we were talking about

having sex with a guy
who's eight feet tall.

- I know, that's true, I was like

oooh Andre the Giant, tell me more.

- Not that much, I almost feel
pain just talking about it.

- Does this get edited?

- No.

- Oh no.

- I truly can only go
off with the guy says

ten inches is, how would
I ever know otherwise.

- Take out a tape measure.

- Jess Clemens, a ruler is like this big.

- My pussy's like this deep.

No, I'm joking.

And they are girthy too.

- These gentlemen?

- Yeah, oh yeah.

Absolutely.

- She talks about their girth.

- She said Owen was slender.

- It's like a fucking
polenta log or something.

- She at one point describes Owen's dick

as swaying back and forth like a pendulum

and that I laughed out loud
because I'm imagining it

swaying back and forth,
now that's Cocksworth.

- That is Cocksworth.

- Hold on to this, put
it in the back pocket.

- The Beauty and the Beast
guys, I'm telling you.

- You gonna be best seller on Amazon.

- They have wonderful sex but
she's a bit conflicted now.

This just isn't who she is.

She's a woman who wears glasses.

- She doesn't fuck cocks.

- She's not the type of woman
who has sex with two men.

- Definitely not, she's
never shared a man.

Absolutely.

- Shared men, she loves
having both of them.

- The New York Times, that same morning

after all this has happened, has written

just kind of a thing about her

not in a book in particular, you know how

the New York Times does.

You kind of review people.

- Just about how great she is in general

and how her books are ones you
can share with your daughter

But that's not the life she's leading.

She's leading a life of a woman

without glasses and she
decides to drive off

and leave the boys, not tell them.

Rude.

- But on her drive something happens.

- Something horrible happens.

She starts hearing like a rumbling.

- Yes.

- And then an avalanche
happens, can you believe.

- All of the incidents
that are just random

and oh no, there so many of
them but I think they're needed.

Nature is punishing her.

- The avalanche really
threw me for a loop.

I was not expecting
that, it crushes her car.

- Yeah, horrifying.

- And she screams Owen, Hardy

but they obviously can't hear her.

- Cos she's stuck under feet of snow.

- Because she's stuck under an avalanche

and she's down the road.

And then is it, Owen that
wakes up or Hardy wakes up?

- Hardy wakes up because I think it was

so beautiful that he
wakes up in the morning

and he doesn't see her there.

And he curses her name.

- He goes I knew what I
had to do, I had to piss.

- Yeah, I relieved myself.

- And they said that specifically

which maybe like a man would read this

and be like wow I'm so glad
that they mentioned this.

It's really real.

- Because this feels really real.

I was just like I don't care.

- You wake up, pee, the coffee's spurting.

- That you have to piss.

- I wrote down the coffee thing too.

- The coffee's spurting
like there's no water left.

I was like what the fuck.

- When he was like I
don't even wait for it

to finish brewing, it's still spurting

but I take a sip anyway,
I needed caffeine.

- I put my mouth under
it like a fucking slut.

- Ooh yes, no taste buds
and I'm here for it.

- He's like I need the caffeine.

- I got the pour over into my mouth.

- Then he hears the
avalanche or he feels it

and he's like Mary,
looks outside the window.

Her car is gone, he shakes Owen awake.

- What does an avalanche sound like?

Poop, splat.

- Also Owen's like so dizzy coming out.

And then Owen changes, Owen turns.

- He gets mad because the thought

him and Mary had something special,

Hardy and Mary had something special

and couldn't believe
she just tried to leave.

Yeah.

- They both get pretty mad at her.

Their feelings are hurt.

- In an unreasonable way.

- She could've gone to get groceries,

they don't even know.

- That would've been so funny.

She's just getting some milk.

- They're like truly cursing her out

and then Hardy realizes.

- Well, they rescue her.

- They do rescue her and Hardy realizes

cos I wrote Hardy shows growth.

He realizes he does not
just like her in a one way.

It's not to fuck her or
share her but to talk to her.

Yeah.

- Those are the feelings he's
feeling for the first time.

- Three emotions.

- Yeah, fuck, share, talk.

- Oh let me tellya 'bout it.

- They dig her out of the car.

They break the back windshield
and she's been passed out.

They're like screaming her name.

They think she's dead.

- Wouldn't the snow fall through though?

- And then all of a sudden she wakes up

and they're like can
you climb out the back

and she's like yeah I've
got it and she climbs out.

I'm like you were just knocked unconscious

by an avalanche and
they're like do you think

you can get out on your own
and he just pushes her ass out.

- She needs to go the hospital.

- Yeah and she had blood
dripping from her head.

- Let's not forget he left Owen in the car

and Owen had to pull himself out.

Owen made sure that was in the book.

- Owen can take care of himself.

- Owen was like okay, don't grab my hand.

- They also check out her
ass while she's passed out.

Like even then, they're like
ooh and her perfect ass.

Perfect tight ass.

- They really loved her ass so.

- They called it tight all the time.

- It was a fab booty.

- They go back to the house,
they kind of settle things

and then they make love for
one last time on the island.

- Wait a minute.

- They fight first.

- The kitchen island.

- They fight and did we
mention her glasses break

in this accident and she is released.

- Very symbolic.

- The whore crux is released.

- It is there, it happened.

- One thing, when they're making up,

they're like how could you leave us

and she's like I'm sorry
this is where I need to be.

They say they're falling
in love with each other.

They both prop her up on the corner

of the kitchen counter and she
says to them, I need to fuck.

And I just thought that, she
was like I whimpered it out,

I tried to sound demanding but I sounded

like I was whining.

- Up here, I need to suck your cock.

- I need to fuck.

- I tried to sound commanding
but it comes off desperate.

- I was waiting for her at
one point to take charge.

I wanted her to do more of a 180

and be like you there, you know.

I wanted her to take charge.

- That's true, I would've
fully got off if she did.

- Ooh, but we're just part of the way.

- I was part there but stopped myself.

- And if these penises
were like twice the size.

- Yeah, like maybe 20
inches, maybe a yard.

- You know what, I regret what I said now.

- Maybe like a foot long
hoagie type situation

- And maybe like two
feet wide or something.

- The chapter ends this is where I belong,

where I'll always stay and
then we have an epilogue

of twin boys chasing each other laughing

and she's pregnant with another child.

Are we to assume these twin boys

will go off and be like Hardy and Owen?

- I guess so.

- I imagined it is possible
but it's very rare to happen

that one of the twins was Owen's

and the other one was Hardy's.

- That's what I thought the entire time.

Which can happen.

- It can happen, very rare
but biologically possible.

- Through artificial
insemination of the two.

- No, I think, if you
have sex with two guys

and they finish inside of
you, really close together.

- But Owen's always finishing in her ass.

That's true.

- Maybe it dripped.

- But every now and then, from the bud.

With enough true love, in the
butt you can be impregnated.

- If there's enough nut in the butt.

- Enough nut in the butt.

- We never hear though
about she stays in the woods

with them forever and we never hear about

what she told people.

- What has happened with the book?

- It's also like she can't
ever go back to New York City?

No.

- They didn't ever wanna live her life?

- That was her fake self,
her fake self for that

point up to her life was all pretend

and now her real self.

- And now she writes erotic novels.

- Fake self had 10/20 vision,

her real self was like 25/20 vision.

- She's Jekyll and Hyde.

- She now writes erotic
novels not romance novels

and her fans have accepted
that that's who she is.

- And that's Shared by Lumberjacks.

- Perfect, what did we think?

Our scale, just so you
guys know as our guests,

is usually dry as a dessert
to flip it off my chair

so like one to five.

- Okay, just from like a
sexual or like as literature?

- You can also give it multiple.

- I rated it on monster sex and human sex

so I had different numbers for both.

- Okay, I'm gonna give it
a 3.5 because I kind of

wanted there to be some sort of conflict

where like she goes off just with Hardy

or goes off just with Owen and they have,

I wanted, it was always the three of them.

- I thought it was gonna get
that conflict but it never did.

- But I give it a 3.5.

- Great.

- So thank you Eddie Cleveland.

- Yeah.

- For writing this book.

- And as someone who maybe relates

so much to the lead character as well.

Now you are wearing your glasses today.

- Yes, I am wearing them,
I thought it would help me

channel Mary, I don't always wear these.

- It's not because you're feeling

prissy and upright today?

- Well, I always feel that way.

Cool, I was just wondering

where your real self was.

- I mean I'm my true self
when I take these off

but I can't do that in the workplace.

I'm at work.

- I'm at work, I can't get wild and crazy.

- You guys, so inappropriate,
they just asked me that.

- Jessica?

- On the scale?

Yeah.

- I guess I feel like after reading it

I'm like a water park slide that's

been off for four hours.

You know, I can still make
it down, it's not the way.

Whaddya mean
you can still make it down?

- Cos it's a slide, I
mean, due to gravity,

I'm still gonna go.

- Right.

- But it's gonna hurt.

- Yeah, it might hurt, but I mean

I'm gonna land in the water eventually.

- I don't think water park slides are made

to be slid without water.

- But you can still go down.

It hurts, it still exists,
it's still gravity.

- Hey, Owen, Mary and Hardy
don't use lube either.

- Yeah, that's true, I'm halfway there.

- Incredible.

- How bout the lumberjacking in the book?

Any thoughts on that?

- Accuracy.

- We didn't touch on it that much

but I did like when they switched

from the vroom vroom
chainsaw to like a normal ax.

- Oh yeah, they make that compromise.

- That's right.

- I don't know if they talked
about what kind of trees

there were cos you guys
know I'm a tree expert.

Didn't know Douglas fir, remembered it.

- I'm guessing they're taking
down some sequoias or redwood.

Redwood.

- Some mighty redwood.

- One thing I thought was missing

is that there was no penis log metaphor.

I was waiting for her to talk about

one of their logs entering her forest

and I hadn't get it.

- She hasn't got a forest,
her forest is shaved.

- Enter her incinerator.

- She's the Amazon after palm oil.

- Toxic love.

- Toxic love.

- What do you guys give it?

- Rehka?

- I'm gonna say, coming into this,

the first three or four chapters,

I was at like a five, I was in for it.

- Damn!

- I was like oh this is the best one

but then it pretty quickly
kind of just dropped off

and I would say, cos even in the beginning

and the sex was I liked it but then it

just kind of got
repetitive and like samey.

So I think it dropped off to 2 1/2 to me.

- There's just so much you can do.

- Yeah.

_ I feel like you can do more

but I feel like they just stayed at like

we're gonna keep it here.

- I'm at a 2 1/2 too.

I wish more would've been
done with the lumberjacking

because I was very surprised by how sexy,

how much I liked those sounds

that they were talking about.

Just the vrrrrr and her like seeing it

and them like shaking and the dust flying,

I wish it was like come watch us do this

and then we'll do it cos we're all so hot

from lumberjacking all day.

They just kinda lumberjacked
once and we never saw it again.

They had a snowball fight.

- They had a deadline, did they meet it?

They were talking in the book,

they were like we have a
deadline for these trees.

We need to keep cutting em.

- Oh my fucking god, now
I'm going to be stressed

the whole day, did they make it?

- I'll re-read it and
I'll let you guys know.

I'll go on the Discord.

- Oh my goodness, I'm realizing
that I didn't write down

the author's name for our next book.

- I think it's okay, we
can put it in the Discord.

- We'll put it in the Discord for you guys

listening and reading along.

It is called Stress Treatment.

It's a lesbian medical erotica.

- We haven't yet touched that genre yet.

- Yes, we haven't had any doctors

or books just dedicated to
solely lesbian characters

so I'm very excited for this one.

- Yes.

- The doctor's office
is not as sexy for me

so I'm interested to see if this gets me

a little hotter the next
time I'm at the doctor's.

- When you get your physical?

- The next time I get my physical.

- The next time I check
my spine, a scoliosis.

- That is, I believe
called Stress Treatment,

I apologize that I didn't write it down

but we'll have that in the Discord.

And thank you so much to
our guests for being here.

- Thank you guys.

- I love it, it was so much fun.

- It was great.

- Thank you for being here.

Have a wonderful, sexy week.

- Please.

- And we'll see you soon.

- Please, remember this is like 12 inches,

this is like a ruler.

- Oh my god, whatever.

- Just be careful out there.

- Be really careful.

- Dare to be different.

- Yeah, that's what that campaigns about.

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