Original subtitles

That bus only goes ten blocks this way,

ten blocks this way and ten blocks this way.

Why, it doesn't even have to make a left-hand turn.

Gone! Completely disappeared! No trace of it!

How in heaven's name does anybody steal a crosstown bus?

What are the drivers' names?

Algernon Shaw Harring and Wellington Phlug.

Ah, this is no time to make jokes!

They're new employees. Shall I call the police?

And have us made the laughingstock of the country? Get a private detective.

Yes, sir.

Crosstown bus disappears right under our noses!

Wait 'til I get my hands on bus number 5111.

Of all the bus drivers in Chicago, I had to pick those two.

I should never have let you talk us into leaving our crosstown bus route.

What are you worrying about? We'll get a promotion. Yeah.

We'll have our pictures in the papers.

I know what it's gonna say. "Wanted by the police."

Nothing of the kind. Get a load of that.

"Tommy Layton enters yacht race. "

You mean he's gonna enter this bus in the boat race? Ye... No, certainly not!

After all...

Oh, will you keep your eyes open? I can't. I'm sleepy.

I didn't get no sleep in that motel. Why?

Some dummy put the bed in the closet.

It's a Murphy bed. Murphy should have slept in it.

What are you...

Hold on to that. Okay, I'll take it.

Drive straight. We're running out of gas.

Running out of gas? Oh. Yes.

What are you driving so fast for?

I got to get to a station before we run out of gas. No, no.

How you gonna pay for gas? What are you gonna use for dough?

Don't worry about the dough. I'll see if I can get away with a baseball story.

- Hey, you like baseball? - Do I? I never miss a game.

The last half of the 9th, the score is tied.

Three men on base. Up comes DiMagg. Three balls, two strikes.

The pitcher winds up, throws... Zowie, a home run!

The Yanks win five to one. We sure put it over, didn't we?

Yep, we sure put it over! We certainly did!

Hey! Hey, come back here!

How do you like that! What happened?

I just got gypped by a couple wise guys. Yeah?

Where's the nearest gas station?

Never mind him. Fill it up. Fill it up.

Come on, girls, relax. There we are.

How'd you enjoy the trip? The next one's mine.

What are you doing?

- How'd you enjoy the trip? - Fine, Tommy.

Come along, girls.

Hey, pardon me, but aren't you Tommy Layton? Yeah.

And we're his nurses. Lucky patient.

I'm from the Oakmont Herald. How's for a picture?

Sure. Good.

Thanks, girls.

Come on. Let's get back. I've had enough air.

That'll be $12.50 for the gas. $12.50 for the gas.

Tell him to put it on the cuff. Put it on the cuff.

What do you mean, "Put it on the cuff"?

What...

Come on. We'll get it off Mr. Layton. No fighting.

Mr. Layton, the man wants $12.50 for the gas.

I'll settle everything at the end of the trip.

Right now, money is secondary. Just a minute.

How 'bout giving me a little secondary? All right.

Here's $20.00. Keep the change. $20.00. Keep the change.

Thanks. You're welcome.

What's the matter with you? What's wrong?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Pay the man. How? The girl took the money.

What girl? The one with the long red stuff and head too.

Oh, how are we going to pay for this gas?

Wait, I've got it! Go tell him the baseball story.

The baseball story? The old one? You know.

They don't know it out here. They don't know it?

Certainly not. The one about the guy on...

Yes, yes, yes, you know it. Go ahead.

That was $12.50, wasn't it? That's right.

$12.50, ha-ha, $12.50.

You like baseball? Yeah, I'm just crazy about baseball.

I think we got 'em. That's all there is to it.

In fact, I'm just dying to have somebody tell me a baseball story.

Algy, you better tell him. Why?

He's just dying to have somebody tell him a baseball story.

Aren't you dying to tell him? I'm just dyin'.

Go find out if he heard the game yesterday. Okay.

Did you hear the game yesterday? No.

He didn't hear it. So?

It was some game. It was the last of the 9th and the score was tied.

Are you sure you didn't hear the game? No.

You read it in the papers? No.

Hear it on the radio? No!

Okay.

What's the matter? I don't think it's gonna work.

Is he askin' too many questions? He knows too many answers.

Go over and tell him the story. Go on, go on.

Okay. Hurry up.

Joe DiMaggio... Was at bat, three balls, two strikes.

The pitcher winds up, throws. DiMaggio swings... Zowie, a home run!

The Yanks win five to one!

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Come here, smart guy. Two fellows put that gag over on me a few minutes ago.

I said the next guy that did it, I'd break his leg!

What's that got to do with my change? What change?

My change from the $20 bill I gave you. You gave me... Oh!

I beg your pardon, sir. That's okay.

After all, you must trust everybody. Yes, sir.

Here's a tip for you. That's very generous of you, sir.

That's okay. Thank you. Thank you, sir.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha! Ooo-ooo-ooo!

Ah, boy, that was swell.

One more? No, one's enough.

I gotta go for another one. Wait a minute.

One's enough. If you're a sissy, I can't help it.

I like the stuff. What do you mean?

Scotch and soda. Cuba libra.

Make mine a brandy. Can't handle it, huh?

Getting old. Not me, I got a hollow leg. Fill it up again!

My friend, Algy, don't think I can handle this stuff.

Thank you. Oh boy.! Whoo-whoo.!

I tell ya,

when I go for this stuff, I really go for it.

I know, but one of those is enough. Nah!

Come on, let's... Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Take it easy. Get it out.

That would have cost fifty cents if you had swallowed that.

Do I worry

'Cause you're stepping out

Do I worry

'Cause you've got me in doubt

Though your kisses aren't right

Do I give a bag of beans

Do I stay home every night

And read my magazines

Am I frantic

'Cause we've lost the spark

Is there panic

When it starts turning dark

And when evening shadows creep

Do I lose any sleep over you

Do I worry

You can bet your life I do

Do I worry

When the ice man calls

Do I worry

If Niagara falls

Though you treat me just like dirt

Think I give a snap

Are my feelin's really hurt

When you're sittin' in somebody else's lap

Am I curious

When the gossip flies

Am I furious

'Bout your little white lies

When all our evenings end

'Cause you got a sick friend

That needs you

Do I worry

Honey, you know doggone well I do

Now am I frantic

'Cause we've lost the spark

Is there panic

When it starts turning dark

And when evening shadows creep

Do I lose any sleep over you

Do I worry

You can bet your life

I do

Think you can walk? Oh, I'll make it.

Right. Right.

What's the matter?

I should've never mixed them. Mixed what?

The chocolate with the vanilla. Let's go to bed.

Hello! Whoo! Come on.

I'm sorry, very sorry. Sorry.

Oh, pictures. Are they your children?

Hey, looks like somebody I know. That's us.

You admit it? Whoever took that picture didn't do a good job on me.

Here's a nice invitation for ya. That's very nice of ya.

Get this: The state of Illinois sends us greetings.

I send greetings right back to Illinois. I'll send them a postcard.

Do you know what that is? An invitation.

The state of Illinois would like you to be their guest.

Over the weekend? I'd say for quite a few years.

No, I couldn't sponge on anybody that long.

We work for a bus concern in Chicago and

they wouldn't give us that much time off.

It was the bus company that wants you sent away for a rest.

I don't wanna go. No! Algy, you don't wanna go?

That's being ungrateful. They're gonna try to give us a vacation.

What's the name of the hotel? A place called "the pen."

I never heard of that hotel. That's not a hotel.

It's a place with big walls around it. Oh, a private place.

Yes, plenty private! Good.

They've got men walking around the walls.

They're picketing the place? They're not picketing.

They're up there to make sure that you don't get out.

If you try to, they... Brr-brr-brr! I understand now!

You mean prison guards. Those guys are tough.

When you get inside those pens... Pens? Uh-huh.

Hotel pen? Certainly.

Do... do... A cop!

Certainly!

I beg your pardon.

Are you looking for someone? I'm looking for...

Oh, I beg your pardon.

How do you do? Hey, look!

Maybe he can make us disappear. Let's find out.

Oh, archery.

Oh, come on. Come on.

Hey, look! Oh, Marco the Magician.

What are you... Wait!

Why don't you knock on the door? I don't give a rap anymore.

Ah, bon soir, monsieur.

Oh, come on. Hey!

Come on.

Pardon me. Did you see bus drivers come in here? Je suis Marco, le Magicien.

Yeah, they stole a bus.

I've got a warrant for these guys and now they've disappeared.

Ah, disappeared! Oui, oui, oui.

Une fois, deux fois, trois fois.

Maintenant, je vais le faire échapper...

avec un mouchoir... What are you doing?

This guy must be crazy. Bruler, commencer par...

Wait a minute! You can't do that!

Disappeared.

What do you mean setting my warrant on fire? I'll arrest you for arson.

Un instant.

Voila.

C'est un truc tres simple.

Au revoir.

That guy is all right.

You magicians certainly get around.

You go out there and pop up here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do me a favor.

Oui, oui. Do that trick over for me, will ya?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, where you make it disappear? Oh, oui, oui.

Where you burn it up? Oui, oui.!

Oui, oui.! No, no. Do it like you did before.

I want to learn it all; fold it up... Oh, viva la sardines.

Yes, yes.

Oui, oui. No, wrap the handkerchief around it.

Take my handkerchief. Now burn it up.

Burn it up. Come on. Oui, oui, oui.

Yes, sir. Oui, of course.

Now pull it out of my collar.

Wha... Wha...? The collar! Pull it outta the collar.

Come on! The collar!

Pull it outta the collar!

No, the collar. Pull it outta there. Don't you understand?

I'm sorry, I don't speak English. That's different then.

Hey, what are you pullin'?

Another one. How do you do? How are ya?

I suppose you're Marco the Magician too.

No, I'm his twin brother. Twin brother?

Then how come you speak English and he don't? He was born in France.

If you're twins, why weren't you born in France with him?

I was traveling with my aunt at the time.

I'm tired of this hocus-pocus.

Let me see a trick. If it lays an egg, you've got explainin' to do.

If it lays an egg? Yeah.

I'm glad you mentioned eggs.

Take your hat off, please. Hold your hat in your hand.

Here I have a common, ordinary egg.

I am going to break the egg in your hat and do a trick. In my hat?

In your hat and over your ears.

Now, I'm gonna break the egg.

There you are. See that? I'll put that in too. I don't care.

Now, I get my ma...

Oh, hold it over there.

Is something wrong? Plenty, yeah. Hold it over there.

Hocus-pocus, diddly-okus. And now...

The egg is still in your hat.

Is something wrong? Uh-huh.

I gotta use more eggs. Hold the cigar, please.

Now, I take it...

You didn't see nothing wrong? No, the egg is still there.

I'm glad you saw it.

I crack it again like this.

I put another egg in there. Then I put in a little salt.

A little salt and pepper.

I get the outboard motor.

There you are. And now...

we got an omelet. Hmm, all right.

What do you know? Get them out. Make them disappear.

You don't have toast with you, do you? No.

Make them disappear? Yeah, make 'em disappear.

I got a card trick... Never mind the card trick!

Get those eggs outta my hat!

I got a cute trick... Never mind!

Come on, listen.

Get those eggs outta my hat!

Me and my brother, Marco, used to do this trick.

Then why can't you get 'em out? That's the part Marco knows.

Somethin' wrong? Oh, ah-hah!

Ah-ho! Ah-ho! Ah-hah! Ah-hah!

Ah-ho! Ooo-ooo-ooo!

Hey, Wellington! Hurry up.

Turn around. Get down!

Ah!

Hey, fellas, give me a hand, will ya?

Help me get this box on that truck.

Now, wise guys, I've got you where I want you.

I'm gonna ship you by fast freight.

You didn't think I'd catch you, did ya?

Ho-ho. Come on! At least I got you!

You think you can get away from me, huh?

Come on. Get in there.

That'll hold you 'til I catch your pal. Yeah?

You got outta that box but you won't get outta there!

I'll guarantee that.!

Thanks. You're welcome.

Algy, come on, I got him!

You got who? The cop. I got him in the trunk.

Swell! All by myself, I put him right in the trunk.

Behind, in the back. Not in the back, in the trunk.

Behind ya. Not behind me. He's under me.

I'll give you a peek. Come here. Look.

Look!

All good things must come to an end.

I think while I can still recognize you,

I'll kiss you all good-bye.

Tommy! Tommy!

Why do I always have to be last?

Is that as hard as you can slap?

- That's hard enough.! - What's the matter, Sis?

Just a kissing Tom. Slight case of mistaken identity.

Not on my part. Roger, this is Tommy Layton,

the sportsmanlike yachtsman who stole your crew.

Wait a minute. I don't know what my agent did, but...

You are Tom Layton? Yeah. So what?

Allow me to introduce myself. Roger!

I don't think he can take it. This is hardly the place to find out.

He's right. Besides, I have a much better idea on the crew situation.

A much better idea!

Yes, yes

Now brothers and sisters Yes, hallelujah

We all give the jazz a stride Yes, Elmer

To have one of them good, old jam sessions Uh-hum

Dishin' out some solid jive Hallelujah

I want all you hepcats and jitterbugs Yes, yes

Come on up here and get in the groove Glory, glory

'Cause when that rhythm hits ya What do we do

Son, that's the time to move

Stand up and shout brother, shout

Shout, brother, shout

When that rhythm hits you

Shout, brother, shout

Don't be afraid Don't hang your heads

Stand up and shout brother, shout

Brother, shout Hallelujah

Hey, when you get that feeling

Runnin'down your spine

That's that good ol' rhythm

It'll drive you outta your mind

Shout, brother, shout

You'll soon find out you will be happy

If you shout brother, shout

Hallelujah

Shout, brother, shout

Shout brother, shout

When that rhythm hits you

Shout, brother, shout

Don't be afraid Don't hang your head

Stand up and shout brother, shout

Brother, shout

Yes, yes

This don't look like the right road to Chicago. Just keep going.

Oooh!

What's the matter now? Dead end.

All right. Back up.

I gotta back up. Go ahead.

Don't you hear me? Back up!

I gotta back up. Go ahead.

What's the matter with ya? Back up!

I'm gonna back up! Do as the man tells ya.

Go ahead.

Will you go ahead and back up?

How can you go ahead and then back up?

Back up. Go ahead.

I gotta back up then go... What kind of bus do you think this is?

I'll satisfy the both of yous. I'll go sideways.

Back up! Back up!

Hello, Sven. Hello, Mr. Layton.

When I wired you to get me a crew, I didn't expect you to...

I know, I make mistake.

I steal the crew from the Shamrock,

but everything's straightened out.

Crew go back to old job. What did you do, lay them off?

Your sister told me you couldn't get here for the race.

My sister! I haven't got any sister.

Why, Brother, how you do talk!

Hey.

What are you doing on my boat? Just a little sabotage.

You stole my brother's crew and I stole it back.

There seems to be some misunderstanding. I didn't get into town...

That's your story! You don't want to listen, huh?

All right. You asked for it. Hey, that's my dinghy!

You won't need it. You're going for a little joyride.

Leave me alone! Take your hands off me!

How do you dare manhandle me like this!

Sven, up anchor and let's get underway.

Oh, no, I don't go on no cruise.

Why not? I get seasick every time I leave the harbor.

How do you like that? Ha-ha-ha. Now where's your crew?

Where's my crew? Right there!

If your brother wins, we'll be the first on hand to congratulate him.

I thought I said good-bye to you guys. What are you doing down there?

Hello, Mr. Layton. How are ya? We're hitchhiking to Chicago.

Hey, Chicago!

Mr. Layton, could you use a couple fugitives from justice?

- I could use able-bodied seamen. - You could?

If any pass by, I'll let you know.

We got a job! Get up there! Okay.

Chicago! All right! Give me a hand.

Take it easy!

How've you been? Fine.

Wait for me.! All right. Come on.

Give me your hand.

You're all right. It's only water.

Look at that.! What is that thing?

That's a seal. Sure. A seal?

They make fur coats. They make fur coats?

How do they teach them that kind of work?

That's Sharkey. He's the pet of the harbor.

He is? Can we bring him on the boat. Sure.

Sharkey.! Sharkey.!

Come on.!

Lunchtime!

Lunch? Oh, sardines. Now, now, now.

- You can't eat that. - Oh, little sardines.

You put a hole in the can.

Mr. Layton promised to pay for the bus, and

he promised a bonus if we win this race.

Oh, good.

What's the idea? What's the matter?

Keep your hands to yourself.

Keep your hands to yourself.

I'm keepin' them on the wheel. Don't hit me. Keep your hands on the wheel.

You know I'm brittle. Don't hit me there.

Never mind that. It's no time to clown.

What'd I tell ya! What are ya hittin' me in the face for?

Keep your hands on the wheel. Oh, piffle-diffle!

Here, here! You made me say a bad word.

Keep your remarks to yourself and keep your hands on the wheel.

Keep your course northeast by southeast.

You don't know anything about this sailor stuff.

There's a compass. Read it.

There's north, northeast; South, southeast.

What's the matter? You nervous?

Only around southeast. Oh, go ahead.

All right, Wellington, I'll take the wheel.

Give him the wheel. Not that way. Put that back!

Come on. What kind of a sailor are you?

Watch out! Watch yourself.

Am I glad you were there, or else...

We can stand more canvas, boys.

Ease the main, douse the jib, and break out the spinnaker.

What are you doing? Come on, come on.

What are you going down there for? Gonna eat.

Didn't you hear what the skipper said? Yeah.

He says peas and giblets and break out a can of spinach. No, this stuff up here.

How you gonna eat that? Come up here!

You've got to give me something I can eat. I can't digest that canvas.

Get up here. Don't fall overboard.

Hold on. There's too many ropes.

Jibe-o!

Jibe-o! What kind of double-talk is that?

Jibe-o! Jibe-o!

Oh, jibe-o! That's it!

Algy, Algy!

Wellington, are you all right?

Algy, look at the big sardine!

Pull me in!

Always playin' around.

Come on. There you are.

What are you tryin' to do, rip the man's canvas?

Get in the corner and behave yourself.

What are you so mean for? He's always getting into trouble.

Algy.! Algy.! What's he doing now?

Get me up! Get me up!

Come on, get up. What are you trying to do, commit suicide?

Oh, always in a mess. Get up on your feet.

You all right? Oh, boy!

Behave yourself. I was standing with sharks!

My other foot! My other foot!

What's the matter? The shark got it!

My other foot! There's your other foot.

Who put that there? Oh, come on.

Snap into it. Okay, sorry.

There's a little slack in the canvas.

Don't bother. I'll get it.

You're quite a sailor, Miss Marshall.

You've been doing three men's work on this cruise.

I want you to get everything you deserve.

I'm sure you'll see that I get it.

They sure hate each other. Well enough to get married.

Wouldn't you marry a pretty girl like that? No.

I'd marry a homely girl. Why?

If you marry a pretty girl, she's liable to run away.

A homely girl is apt to run away too. Yeah, but who cares?

Why should we fight? Even the worst enemies declare a truce.

Then we're certainly eligible.

Armistice? Armistice.

Those stars would look lovely in your hair,

especially Polaris.

Polaris! What's it doing up there? It should be over here!

I told you to follow that star!

I passed that one. You better pick me out another one.

We're way off our course.

Who jimmied that compass? I can't imagine.

The barometer's falling.

You better pick it up before somebody steps on it.

Did you fix that too? No, I forgot that one! What does it read now?

A bad storm. We're miles off the sea lanes.

You mean, I'm blazing a new trail? Right into a typhoon.

That's okay. I can't catch it. Vaccinated! Never mind that!

How do you like that? I cut my head off!

All hands on deck!

What'd you say? All hands on deck.!

All hands on deck? Yeah.

Okay, here's mine.

Come up here. We've lost control of the boat.

The finance company's gonna take it? Come on up here! Hurry!

Boy, what a storm!

Come on, get up there ahead.

Huh? Get up there.

Whoo-hoo!

What are you doing? I said up there! I slipped!

Well, slip back. Go on, get up there!

Oh, water!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Whee!

What did I just get through telling you? Go up there!

I slid! Now get up there!

Algy.!

- How'd you get out there? - Get me off!

Man overboard.! Get me off!

Well, sip it slowly. That's the last of the water.

Here you are; breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

What's different? That's all we've had for ten days.

The only difference is, after this is gone, there isn't any more.

Just a minute. We're partners, aren't we? Yeah.

We split everything fifty-fifty, don't we? I know, but...

Never mind "you know." I know.

Whether on land or sea, makes no difference.

Partners are partners. You've got two beans, I haven't got any.

How come? You wouldn't want to share that way. No.

Here. Wait a minute.

What's the matter? It's the small one. I wanna give you the big one.

My mother always told me to treat my friends like that. That's nice.

Give the biggest of everything. That's swell.

Mmm.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

I'm gonna eat this half. Why?

You've got two halves. I haven't got any.

You shouldn't eat so fast. What kind of partner are you?

I'm entitled to half of that bean.

Come on. That's better. There.

You ought to be ashamed.

He's always trying to make a hog out of himself.

Sorry. Go ahead and eat it.

This is mine? Go ahead!

You're gonna let me eat this whole half?

I've always got to give you the best of it.

Take it easy and chew it up good.

Chew it good. I'm gonna make it last.

I'm gonna put it from here to here and here to here.

And sometimes up here. It's up there now.

Where's it now? It's gone.

Sharkey, boy, am I hungry!

This program is coming to you from Pete's Bar and Grill.

Stop in for one of our famous chicken dinners:

Delicious chicken, mashed potatoes,

corn on the cob, new green peas,

combination salad, pie and coffee.

Today's blue-plate special is spaghetti.

With meatballs? Yes, with meatballs.

Thanks.

I guess we might as well wash these dishes.

What'll you use for water? There's an ocean full of it.

Throw them overboard. We won't need 'em anymore.

Wellington? What?

I can't stand to see you starve to death.

I just sneaked Mr. Layton's gun. I can't eat that!

Who wants you to eat it? It's the only way out.

You want me to demolish myself?

It's the only honorable thing I could do.

I don't think Sharkey likes the idea. He's tellin' ya off.

There's one less we'll have to worry about.

What do you mean? You'll find out.

Are you ashamed to see me do it?

Don't cry. You make me feel sad.

Here, blow your nose.

That's enough. It's the only handkerchief I got.

I know, but it's clean, I'm tellin' ya.

Good-bye, Sharkey.

Aw, Sharkey.!

Poor Wellington.

Wellington!

Wellington! Are you all right? What happened?

I missed. I'm awfully sorry.

You missed. You... Land!

Land.! Land, everybody.!

We're saved! Oh, boy! Put the gun down!

Land! How do you like that? Put it away!

Right over there we got land!

Don't point at me! Don't point at me!

Maybe we better separate and see if we can find any signs of life.

If you see anything, blow this whistle.

Be careful. Some of these islands are inhabited by cannibals.

Cannibals! Oh! Ooo-ooo. What's the matter?

They're not gonna make no shore dinner outta me.

Are you sure there're cannibals? Yep.

You were kidding about those cannibals, weren't you?

You never can tell.

Maybe we'd better kind of stick together.

That won't be necessary. You wanna go on alone?

I suppose you think I'm afraid. Huh!

Oh, Tommy!

Tommy, where are you? Wait a minute.

Oh, Tommy! I guess it would be foolish if we got separated.

What's the matter? You're not afraid, are you?

No, but there are animals around here, wild animals.

Really? I haven't seen any.

I heard 'em, just as plain... You did, huh?

Come on. Oh.

All that stuff about cannibals on the island, that's all bunk. Sure.

Layton's liable to tell you there's headhunters here.

That's only in storybooks. I've been around. Certainly. That's ridiculous.

Ooo-ooo-ooo!

Algy. Algy!

Algy, what did they do to you?

What's the matter with you?

Algy! Oh! Here I am.

Don't you ever play jokes on me! Shh, not so loud.

If there's any cannibals, you'll attract them to us.

We've gotta do something to protect ourselves.

Take that shield. That's a shield. A what?

That's a protector. Get a club.

Get a club! Let me look at it. I got it.

Now you're set... What are you doing?

That's not for that.

Now if a cannibal comes around, you're ready to protect me.

Sure. Sure.

I'm all ready to protect you? Certainly!

I don't want to get inquisitive,

but who is going to protect me?

Don't worry about a thing.

See that whistle? That'll protect you. Okay.

Everything all right?

That whistle is going to protect me. Certainly.

How? I blow the whistle,

he turns to find out where the noise is.

You hit him over the head with the club. Oh!

You got it? When you blow the whistle,

and the cannibal turns around... Turns around.

When he does... bop on the head!

Now you've got it! Let's find something to eat.

Wait! Don't you forget to blow the whistle.

I'll blow the whistle if it's the last thing I do.

If you don't, it'll be the last thing I do.

You! I ain't a-scared of you guys!

Whoo! What's the matter? Can't you take a joke?

This is all right!

Looks like it's been made from the hull of an old ship.

At least somebody lives on this island.

Hello in there!

Whoo-hoo! Hello?

Judging by these books, whoever lives here must understand English.

We might be in luck. Maybe the natives are civilized. Unfortunately,

that is not the case.

My name's Varnoff. Hello.

I'm sorry you find us snooping, but... We feel kinda silly.

How did you get here? We met with a storm, lost our sails and here we are.

Yeah, um, what island is this? It's uncharted.

Don't tell me you were shipwrecked too? I came quite intentionally.

You see, I'm something of an archaeologist.

The ancient treasure of this island fascinates me.

Do you think you could help us rig some sails?

That shouldn't be impossible. The natives speak a little English.

But they are an unpredictable lot, as you'll learn.

I'll take you to the village and see what can be done. Wonderful!

Come on, Wellington. Okay.

What's the matter with you? Hey, Algy?

Look at the chicken. Where?

Chicken? What a chicken!

Algy, blow the whistle!

What'd I do with it? What do you want me to do?

Wait! Where'd I put it?

Blow the whistle.! All right.

Blow the whistle!

Now, don't get excited. Why didn't you blow that whistle?

I forgot where I put it. You forgot where you put it?

Keep it in your mouth. Give me the whistle. All right, all right.

All right, take it. Take it easy.

Here he comes!

Blow the whistle. Not that.! Nothing comes out!

Not that! The whistle. Blow the whistle! It won't work!

Blow that whistle.!

Ow.! Ow.! Not that.!

Blow the whistle. All right!

How do you like that? Algy?

Hey, Algy, what happened? You must be tired.

I think I will scout the island alone.

Algy, move over.

Stop it.!

All right.!

Stop that. Get your hands off me! Take it easy.

Miss Joan, Mr. Layton, won't you help us?

They're gonna make beef stew out of us.

What'd he say?

You dared to disturb the shrine of departed

warriors and must pay the penalty.

Oh! Look, mister, tell the head man...

Tell him I'd like to die my own way.

How do you want to die?

Of old age.

If not that, Chief,

I'll die of starvation.

Starvation takes a long time.

That's all right, I'll wait! I'm willing!

You people are fortunate.

The chief likes your little fat friend. He thinks he's cute.

He invites you to become his friends over a cup of native wine.

Hey, Algy, come here.

What's that funny-looking thing? That's a bell.

That ain't no bell! I say that's a bell.

It's too big. You see that? That's a clapper.

That's a clapper? That's what makes the sound.

Are you trying to tell me this is a bell? Don't holler at me!

Moolah, Moolah.!

Quiet!

Moolah! Moolah!

What's this "Moolah" business. Moolah means hero.

There's a legend that every time that bell rings,

the hero of Mantua will appear and reconquer for them...

their haunted temple in the mountains.

Oh, hello. Thank you, girls.

What a beautiful violet. That luana, love flower.

Me Luana, love flower too!

You love flower? All girls on island named after flower.

How do you like that? These giggling kids are all named after flowers.

Me Amo, passion flower.

Me Ferna, beauty flower.

You Algy, wallflower.

Moolah, Moolah. What's this Moolah?

You are big hero! Me a big hero?

And you shall marry Luana, daughter of chief. That's me.

No, no, Whaba, no!

Hey, hey, just a minute!

Kid, do you need help? Yes.

All right. Listen, you. I was talking to the young lady.

You're big enough to help yourself. Luana no marry Moolah!

Marry me!

Why should I marry you? You don't appeal to me. Bah!

Bah! Bah!

Bah!

Ha-ha! Didn't even hurt.

Lovely Luana

Ooo-ahh-ooo

Flower of love

Lovely Luana

Ooo-ahh-ooo

Pretty South Sea flower

Lovely Luana

You haunt the tropic night

Oh, but you're lovely

When the moonbeams shower

Angelic blossom

You bloom in pale moonlight

If you should see Luana bloom

The night a full moon glows

It means you'll find your loved one

That's how the legend goes

Lovely Luana

In your starlit hour

Lovely Luana

Please bloom for me tonight

Love your Luana

Love your South Sea flower

Kiss your Luana

She blooms for you tonight

Ohhh!

Moolah!

Hello! Hello! How are ya?

Ooo, Moolah!

What are you doing? See you girls later tonight.

Algy and I was playin' under the tree.

This is a very old tree. She says it's a very old tree.

Lovers have met under this tree for years.

Ooo-ooo-ooo! Well?

Why don't you go home? I will not.

After all, you know... Never mind!

But me and... All right, keep quiet.

I know, but... What's the matter?

Go on home! Somebody's calling you. I will not.

There's nobody calling. There is not. There is too.

Algy? That's you, I heard you. Sit down.

Algy, do me a favor, please? Go home. I will not!

Look, two's company and three's a crowd. All right, go home.

Okay. No! You go!

I will not. After all, she's my Latin beauty.

So? Aren't ya? I hope.

Luana, what was you saying about this old tree?

This tree is called the tree of truth. Tree of truth?

Yes. If you tell a lie under this tree,

something will happen to you. Yeah?

I got nothing to worry about 'cause I never tell lies. Ohh!

See? You told a lie. I was only kiddin'.

What goes on here?

Take it easy. I ain't gonna tell more lies!

Come here. What's the matter?

Every time I talk, I get hit. What can I do?

Tell her a story. They love stories. Tell her a story?

I got a pip! Go ahead.

Luana, I gotta tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a merchandising agent.

He saw a farmhouse. He knocked on the door and...

Wait a minute. Just a minute! Get your hand off my head!

Just a minute. You can't tell that story.

I'll tell the one about my father, the engineer on the railroad.

Why didn't you tell that one in the first place? I don't know.

Go ahead. No one likes to talk about their own parentage.

Go ahead. I got to tell another story 'cause he didn't like the first.

This story's about my father.

Once upon a time, my father was an engineer on the railroad.

He was going 70 miles per hour down the track.

The train stopped and he didn't know what was wrong.

He went into the tool box and he couldn't find no tools.

What did he do? He went to the farmhouse...

Just a minute! Enough is enough. I didn't finish yet.

That's the same story. Is it?

Same story and you know it. What do you know?

Can I tell the story if I put a whistle with the train? Certainly not!

Okay. Why don't you tell her something interesting,

something about our country and some great people?

You mean history? History! There's the idea.

Now you're talking sense. Honey, I gotta change my story.

He didn't like number one and number two. I'm gonna like number three.

I'm gonna tell you about the history of our great country.

That's swell. One time many years ago,

somebody threw some tea in the ocean,

and there was a lot of confusion about it.

Paul Revere, he was a big man at that time. He had a wonderful horse.

He got on his horse and he said, "The Redcoats are coming!"

He was going down a road. He came to a door...

No you don't! I didn't even get the guy off the horse.

Never mind that! Let me get the guy off the horse!

That's the same story. Please, wait a minute.

Moolah, what did the man want?

Well, you see, he... Now!

Oh, he... he, he...

Moolah, what did he want?

He wanted a glass of milk.

I realize these visitors may disrupt our plans,

but I have a way of making use of them.

We got plenty out of the last guys we kidded

the natives into sending up to the temple.

Why don't we call it quits?

Not until we get the sacred ruby of Mantua.

Do you realize what it's worth?

Okay.

But who's gonna be the next sacrifice? Leave that to me.

Tabor, tomorrow night there's to be a feast in honor of these new arrivals.

When the festivities are at their height,

I want the volcano to erupt.

Make it very effective.

Use plenty of fireworks.

Moolah!

Kneel.

Moolah. Moolah.

My son.

My daddy.

Moolah.

Moolah.

Moolah, Wellington.

Remember,

you marry Luana, you be dead husband.

Get your hand off me!

I am a hero. You are a stinker.

What you mean? What you call stinker?

Well, that's... No!

You see a stinker... a stinker's a great man!

You bet your life me stinker.

My father was stinker. My brother stinker.

My whole family stinkers!

Yeah, but you're the biggest stinker of'em all. Thank you.

Thank you.

You're the biggest stinker on the whole island. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Him no stinker.

No, no! Ah, no!

You no stinker. Too small.

Only me stinker.

Yeah. Biggest stinker I ever saw!

Thank you. Thank you.

You marry Luana...

Yeah.

I don't think he means a shave. He don't.

Wellington seems to be doing all right. Luana's a very pretty girl.

Second prettiest girl on the island. You're too complimentary.

You haven't been dipping in that cava bowl, have you? Oh, no, not a drop.

This is your wedding feast. I warn you.

Go ahead and eat. I can't. I lost my appetite.

Take a drink. Maybe it'll bring it back.

Yes, you will take a drink with me!

Your last drink!

Oh. Algy, let's you and I get out of here. Oh, behave.

I'm scared. I can feel chills running up my spine.

Up and down your spine. No, up my spine!

They got no strength for a return trip.

I'm gettin' a Mickey.

Oh.

Drink.

Look over there. Who's that?

Drink!

Drink? Drink.

Drink.

Oh.

Oh, look at the sky!

Drink!

Hello, there!

Drink!

Drink? Drink. Drink, drink!

Drink. Drink.

More? More, more, more? Drink, drink, yeah.

I'm so tired.

Oh great one

Oh great one Oh great one

Oh burning fountain

Oh great one Oh great one

- Vingo - Oh great one

Fiery god of the mountain

Vingo oh burning fountain

Shower your message from above us

Now that you've shown us that you love us

Vingo, lead us to happiness with your light

We offer thanks as you blaze in the night

- Vingo - Oh great one

- You are appeased - Oh great one

- Now you are pleased - Oh great one

- Oh Vingo - Oh great one

We offer thanksgiving to you, Vingo

There's a beat everybody really ought to know

It's a treat, stomp your feet to VingoJingo VingoJingo

VingoJingo Vingo

Everyone ought to learn the way the rhythms go

It's a treat, stomp your feet to VingoJingo VingoJingo

VingoJingo Vingo

Take some native cava Add volcanic heat

Mix it up with lava

And set it to a tom-tom beat

Now the beat's got the island rocking to and fro

It's a treat, stomp your feet to VingoJingo VingoJingo

VingoJingo Vingo

Ahh-oh oh-oh

Vingo, Vingo

It's a beat everybody really ought to know

It's a treat Stomp your feet

To VingoJingo VingoJingo Vingo

Everyone ought to learn the way the rhythms go

It's a treat, stomp your feet to VingoJingo VingoJingo

VingoJingo Vingo

Take some native cava Add volcanic heat

Mix it up with lava and set it to

A tom-tom beat

Now the beat's got the island

Rocking to and fro

It's a treat, stomp your feet to VingoJingo VingoJingo

VingoJingo Vingo

VingoJingo VingoJingo VingoJingo Vingo

Vingo! Vingo!

Moolah pigi. Vingo.!

What are they talking about? The legend of Moolah.

He is to marry the daughter of the chief.

But only after he has proved himself the hero of Mantua.

I don't want to be no hero.

You're to try where five others have failed. What have they tried?

To break the taboo, to pass beyond the temple

to the forbidden side of the mountain.

You mean, five guys went through there? Mm-hmm.

Nobody's ever come back? Uh-uh.

Who's gonna be number six?

You are. Oh.

All right, take it easy.

You most good man on island.

No, Chief. Not me.

I'm not a good man. No, I'm not.

Chief, would you call a kid that plays hooky four days a week, good? No.

Would you call a kid that tells tattletales, good? No.

You wouldn't call that a good boy, would ya?

I'm a bad boy! Wait a minute.

You can't run yourself down like this. Shut up, will ya?

Quiet! Keep out of this. Chief, I've known this boy all my life.

Shut up. He's starting to believe me. Quiet!

I've never met a finer, more upright and honest a boy.

Will you keep your mouth shut? Keep quiet!

This boy is an honorary member of the Camp Fire Girls.

Troop 35. Now shut up. Keep quiet!

You know what this means? My life is in danger. Your life?

Certainly! If I go up there, think of me!

Think of the rest of the people on the island!

I'm sorry. Luana.

I'm always thinking of myself anyway.

I'm a killjoy. I'll say you are.

All right. If that's what it means,

I'll go into that temple.

I'll face danger! I knew you would.

I don't care if the boogeyman's in there. Atta boy.

I'll get him! There's one thing I want you to do.

What's that? Talk me out of it.

You like that speech?

Hey, Father! Father! They're taking your son!

What makes you think Varnoff's in on this?

It's just a hunch, but I want to protect Wellington.

I think Varnoff's responsible for the

disappearance of those five men in the temple.

You have to prove it to me. That's what I intend to do.

You and your melodramatic plots.

So you think I'm melodramatic, huh? Take a look at that.

Fireworks.!

Hello, Varnoff? What is that?

Hello, Varnoff?

It's a radio! Shh!

Hello? Hello? Varnoff? Yes, what is it?

Yes, yes, what is it?

I want to make a checkup to see if we understood everything.

Let's hear it again just to make sure.

The idea is to get the jewels and hold the little fat guy as hostage...

until we're ready to leave the island.

You're going to capture him when he goes into the temple?

That was the understanding, wasn't it?

It was, but we may have to change things.

Oh, will we?

Tie them up.

Let me go! Stop it! Stop it!

I'll see you people later. I have to make an appearance at the temple.

Me and my melodramatic plots, huh?

If Moolah go, I go too.

That ain't a bad idea. No.!

Moolah go alone. Oh no.

Chief, what is this?

Sacredjewel of Mantua.

So long you wear this, you no can die.

That's the best news I ever heard. That's wonderful!

Oh, boy! The chief says as long as I wear this, nothing can happen to me.

That's a wonderful jewel.

Ain't that gorgeous? Ooo-ooo!

All right.

That's enough! You told me that thing was tame.

Shh. Go ahead up there.

Luana, good-bye.

All right, that's enough. That's enough!

If that don't make a man out of me, nothing else will.

Forward... march!

Algy? Algy! Yes, yes. I'm still here.

My bosom pal! I'm sorry.

This is good-bye. Good-bye.

Wait a minute.

Here. What's this for?

That's the dollar I owe you. The dollar you owe me?

You pick out a fine time to pay me!

Where am I gonna spend a dollar up there?

He gives me the dollar now that he owes me six months ago.

Go on up those stairs. Be brave!

You want these people to think I'm a coward?

No, sir. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Atta boy.

Go ahead.

Nobody home.

Now I'm all alone.

Algy always told me when I was alone to sing.

Deep in the heart ofTexas

Give me that jewel.

I can't give that to you. It's my life protection. Give me that jewel!

I got to take my hat off to give it to you.

I can't get it over my head unless I do.

Would you mind... holding... my hat?

Algy, don't shoot! Don't shoot!

Go get him!

Ooh! Ooh!

Ooooh.!

Ooo! Ooo!

Get him! Get him now!

Algy, hello!

Nothing happened to you? Not yet.

- Boss, there he is! - Over to the statue!

He's somewhere in here. They certainly disappeared.

Let's go.!

They're around here. Scatter and look for 'em.

Ooo-ooo!

Gotta get that little guy before he gets out of this temple.

I think I better stop drinking Varnoff's whiskey.

Don't you ever do that again!

What's the idea? Shut up!

Did you look behind those statues?

No. The boys will take care of that.

Did you hear something?

No, did you?

The place must be haunted. Let's take a look around.

Whoo!

So there you are!

Get him! Don't let him get away!

Wait a minute. I'm out of breath.

Yeah, me too.

I get like this every time I run up stairs.

I'm a little too fat. Okay, let's go!

Don't let him get away. Get him, boss.

He landed on top of the tree!

Tommy.

Shh.

Everything all right? They're tied up.

Get the small boat ready for a getaway. I'll be right down.

Keep an eye out for Tabor.

Wha...

Oh! Oh! Tommy!

Tommy, are you... You come with me, young lady.

- Come on.! - Let me go.!

He landed in that tree? Yeah!

Is that the tree? I don't know. They all look alike.

Got to find him. Yeah. Scatter out and look for him.

This is just about the spot he would've...

Bull's-eye! Get it, Wellington.

Come on, Algy. More ammunition.

Another bull's-eye.

Algy, pick me out a big heavy one. I wanna hit him right on the head.

Oh, boy, Algy! You hit him right on the head!

What are you hitting me for? Give me another one.

Give it to 'em, Wellington!

Well, I guess that's that!

Algy, get down off the tree.

Ow! Ow!

Ooo-ooo-ooo!

Algy! Algy?

There he is. Come on!

Hang on, Wellington. I'll get you in a minute.

Whaba! Pretty Whaba!

Ha-ha! I fix you.

Algy.! Get me off this jail horse.!

Get me off!

Come on, let's find him.

He fell off right here.

Come back!

I can't go no further. I gotta make a stand for it.

Put 'em up! Come on, I'll fight the whole five of yous.

What's the matter? You scared of me? Fight!

Moolah, the hero.! I'll fight you southpaw.

Boo!

Moolah, the hero.

Hmm!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo-whoo!

He went the other way. Come on, fellas!

Wellington? He went that way.

Come on!

It's water! How are we gonna get across? Wait a minute.

The river. Uh-oh. Come here.

What are you gonna do? Grab a vine and follow me.

Come on, come on!

Wait on the other side for me!

Here I come!

What kind of vine is that? What kind of...

Okay!

Whoo!

Stop it.! Leave me alone.

Keep quiet! Get this boat going.

Will you let Miss Joan out of that boat?

Hey.! Hey, you.!

Preserve yourself, Miss Joan. I'll help you.

Sharkey.!

Closer, Sharkey, closer.

Good boy, Sharkey. Wait a minute.

I gotcha. Go ahead.

Let her go, you nasty villain!

Whaa! Wellington?

Wellington, you'll drown!

I don't know what I'm doing here!

Wellington, there's a swordfish behind you!

Look out.!

Whaa! Whaa!

Put the boards together.

Put 'em together!

Whoa-oh!

Give him a short uppercut to thejaw.!

Whoo! Whoo!

Look out, Wellington.!

Don't! No, no, don't!

Oh, whoo, whoo!

No, no!

Go on, sock him!

Come on, Wellington!

Look out!

Get this thing off me!

Look out! You're going the wrong way!

Joan, you stay. I'll get you with this eggbeater.

I'll putt-putt-putt you all the way in.

Putt-putt-putt. Putt-putt-putt.

Moolah, you are wonderful hero.

You saved all my people on the island. It was nothing.

Here's the boat ready to sail and where are the boys?

You can't expect a hero like Wellington to run out on his public.

He saved my life. He mopped up Varnoff and his gang.

Uh-oh.

Wellington, come on. We'll miss the boat!

Get out of here. Luana, cut it out!

This is no time for that sort of thing!

Come on.!

Whoo-whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo!