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1
00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:16,934
Previously on
Shining Vale...
2
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:19,103
When your mom and I saw it,
we fell in love with it.
3
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:21,814
It's 100 miles away from
all the crazy in the city.
4
00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:23,816
How many fucking possessed
women do you get in here?
5
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,985
Rosemary, get the fuck
out of my house.
6
00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,987
This is for you, Patricia.
7
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:30,156
The neighbor killed
herself on our fence.
8
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:31,741
I want to throw
a party.
9
00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,451
We can invite
all of our new friends.
10
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,369
- I'm Claire Vanderbilt.
- This is Laird.
11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,497
I'm so sorry I peed your floor.
Please have me back.
12
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,708
You are the worst
therapist ever!
13
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,085
Gaynor, tell them
I'm not crazy!
14
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,796
The electric shock treatment.
15
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:48,132
You zapped Rosemary
right out of me.
16
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:50,384
Jake and I don't need you
and Dad doesn't remember you.
17
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:52,720
I don't play VR anymore.
18
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,846
You still scared of that girl?
19
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,556
What game?
I'm Daisy.
20
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,933
I'm gonna be
the best wife and mother.
21
00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,560
That's what you'll talk about
on the book tour.
22
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,187
What, you already
published it?
23
00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:04,148
How do I know you're
not gonna go batshit again?
24
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:07,985
Because I am in control.
25
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,570
I am in...
26
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,491
Hello, dear.
So good to see you.
27
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:17,661
Fuck.
28
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,664
Oh, my God.
29
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,666
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
30
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:23,959
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
31
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,715
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God.
32
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,302
Gaynor, can I talk to you
just for a sec?
33
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,970
What's the matter--why are you
breathing like Roxy?
34
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,056
Because I need to go to--
35
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,516
Need to go where, Pat?
36
00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:42,853
Get ice cream.
37
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,313
- Yes!
- Road trip!
38
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,606
Let's do it.
39
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,691
- Hi. I have a return.
- It's not a return.
40
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:49,777
I just need a quick
outpatient shock treatment.
41
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,111
Uh, sorry. We don't do that.
42
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,405
Gaynor, why don't you go
find your dad and brother?
43
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,324
Mommy's gonna talk to the nurse
for just a second.
44
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:59,161
Mm, maybe Mommy could've driven
herself to the mental hospital.
45
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,788
Listen, I don't think
you understand.
46
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,582
I'm in a serious crisis.
I just need a quick zap.
47
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,417
- I'll be out of your hair.
- That's not how it works.
48
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:08,295
- Do you know who I am?
- Yes. You're Patricia Phelps.
49
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,421
Your insurance ran out
50
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:10,631
and you're no longer
a patient here.
51
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,967
What, am I not
crazy enough for you, huh?
52
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,802
What do you want me to do, huh?
Do you want me to...
53
00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:17,596
You want me to take a shit
on the floor?
54
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,515
The state no longer
considers that insane,
55
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,933
but go for it.
56
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:27,314
I'm not crazy!
I'm not crazy!
57
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,524
I'm not!
58
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:29,650
I am.
59
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,110
Dad, I'm scared.
60
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:32,444
She's gonna be fine.
61
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,989
No, I mean, the ice cream place
closes at 9:00.
62
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,365
We're not gonna make it.
63
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:39,702
Shh, let's not miss out
on this chance to bond.
64
00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:42,913
What kind of dad was I? Hmm?
65
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,957
Honestly, Dad,
66
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,834
right now, I'm just
67
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,752
trying not to rip
this chair out of the floor
68
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,170
and throw it
through that window.
69
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,547
I'm gonna walk around.
70
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,056
Hi.
71
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,145
Okay.
72
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,459
Let's go. Total bust.
73
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,586
Apparently, I'm not crazy
enough for this place anymore.
74
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,254
I hope you're crazy
enough to drive full speed
75
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,006
into the mall,
because in one minute,
76
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:35,382
the ice cream store closes.
77
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,675
Fuck.
We're not getting ice cream.
78
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:37,760
We have ice cream at home.
79
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,971
It's not the same
and you know it!
80
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,327
Gaynor, let's go.
81
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,289
I don't know why I get excited
about anything.
82
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:10,501
- Almost. It's Phelps.
- We are Phelps.
83
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:14,046
We are Phelps.
We are Phelps.
84
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,130
They're amazing.
85
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,216
I hate this place.
86
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,842
We are Phelps.
87
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,652
Jake, I'm tired of
washing your sheets every day.
88
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:38,529
Either do your own laundry
or put a sock on it.
89
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,239
I am a growing boy.
90
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:41,532
Yeah, well, grow into a tissue.
91
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,492
Hey, Jake, help me out here.
92
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,911
I'm trying to read
your mom's book.
93
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,830
Ever since the accident,
I still have problems
94
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:51,166
with abstract word fractions
like--look at this.
95
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,710
I'm not allowed to read that.
96
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:55,045
Well, your dad says you can.
97
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,965
"The mailman obli-ged..."
98
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,467
That's obliged.
The G is like a J.
99
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,553
Okay. All right. There you go.
100
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:06,598
"The mailmen obliged
and fin-jer ban-jed..."
101
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:10,227
Okay, um, that's fingerbanged.
102
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,895
- Say it again.
- Fingerbanged.
103
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,564
- Say it again.
- Fingerbanged.
104
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:14,815
- I hate this.
- Well, no.
105
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,941
We're father-son bonding.
106
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,943
"He fingerbanged
her tig-hit snatch."
107
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:18,944
Okay, I'm leaving.
108
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,488
Hey, sorry I overslept.
109
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,698
Did I miss breakfast?
110
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,116
Twice. It's Thursday.
111
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:27,244
I slept for two days
and no one checked on me?
112
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,996
I'm sorry, I was a little busy
taking care
113
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,414
of your newborn husband
and your son
114
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,207
who's turning his laundry
into sheetrock.
115
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,251
Hey, being a mascot
is stressful.
116
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,253
You try walking a mile
in my fuzzy shoes.
117
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,047
I'm sorry, honey,
I wanted to check on you,
118
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,757
but I'm still having a problem
with the stairs,
119
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,633
and the electric chair
wasn't working.
120
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,093
The electric chair?
121
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,346
The chair that helps you get
up and down the back steps.
122
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,514
Back steps?
123
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,932
Jesus Christ,
we have an electric chair
124
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,726
that gets old people upstairs.
125
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,438
- Gaynor.
- Yeah?
126
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,731
- You don't have to do this.
- No, I can do it.
127
00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:56,732
It's not your job.
I'll take it.
128
00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:57,733
No, I can do it. No, leave it.
129
00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:58,984
Come on. Give it to me.
130
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,694
- Give it to me.
- Leave it.
131
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,112
Oh, my God,
what is wrong with you?
132
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,867
You happy?
You broke Jake's pillowcase.
133
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:11,246
Jake, you've got to be careful
with your VR headset.
134
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:14,291
I didn't put that there.
I don't play with that anymore.
135
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,001
All right,
will everybody relax?
136
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,252
I'm sorry,
we all don't have the luxury
137
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,253
of sleeping for two days.
138
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,505
No one woke me up.
139
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,131
I'm not your alarm clock, Mom.
140
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,424
Okay, you know,
I'm your mother.
141
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:23,634
- Hey.
- I respect your stuff.
142
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,260
Hey!
143
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,974
As the leader of this family,
I've made a decision.
144
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,601
We need professional help.
145
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,062
I'm gonna get us to the best
doctor we can afford.
146
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,940
I have to admit,
I'm a bit surprised
147
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,399
to hear from you, Terry.
148
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,777
You were in my phone under
"cheap therapist."
149
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,612
Terry fell down the stairs
and suffered
150
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,698
a traumatic brain injury
and lost his memory.
151
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,991
Ah, I see.
152
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,618
Yeah, and then this one
went batshit,
153
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,328
leaving me to clean up
their mess.
154
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,746
That's our story.
155
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,208
Actually, the epilogue is,
I'm home and I am healthy.
156
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,001
And the sequel is,
I had to drive her back
157
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,545
to the mental hospital
two days ago.
158
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:02,297
And the reboot is, I was
too healthy to be let back in.
159
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,008
Guys, please.
He's a professional.
160
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,760
We paid a lot of money
to hear from him.
161
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,387
Please, Doctor.
162
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,013
Thank you, Terry.
163
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:13,142
You've all been through
a lifetime's worth of trauma.
164
00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:16,478
Healing as a family requires
a lot of individual work
165
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,729
- and patience.
- Screw that.
166
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,606
Listen, something's happened
to my memory,
167
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,608
and I need it back now.
168
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,443
- That's not an ashtray.
- I don't mind.
169
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,406
Something disturbing
happened in my past.
170
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:30,200
I feel like it's right here...
171
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,411
...and I can't get to it.
172
00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:33,996
What about art therapy?
173
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:38,041
Painting allows people with
physical and verbal challenges
174
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,587
access to thoughts,
emotions, and fears
175
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:44,089
they can't otherwise express.
176
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,758
I've had quite a bit
of success at it.
177
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,764
I'm sorry. Can we go?
178
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,349
I'm the only one in this family
with a job,
179
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,726
and I can't afford
to get fired.
180
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,519
No one asked you
to quit school.
181
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,354
Well, I have to take care
of this family.
182
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,774
That's a big job for a girl.
Or even a boy.
183
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:06,612
You have to find a way
to resolve that stress,
184
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,823
or it can lead to long-term
psychological damage.
185
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:13,327
Your mother is a fine example
of trauma run amok.
186
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,495
Ah, thanks for those genes, Mom.
187
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,956
Okay, well, I also gave you
my thigh gap, so...
188
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:21,210
Obviously there's some
mother-daughter issues at play.
189
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,878
No, I don't have any issues.
190
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,714
I just want to go back to being
a loving wife and mother.
191
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:28,884
Why don't you try something
you're good at instead?
192
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,135
Good one.
193
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,512
Button, let's be respectful
to our mother.
194
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,014
She's an amazing woman.
195
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,849
Everybody in
this family needs a break.
196
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,477
Reward yourself
with something you enjoy.
197
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,853
You- you're a writer. Do that.
198
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,897
No writer enjoys writing.
199
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,858
Besides, my book is finished.
200
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,861
I guess I could promote it, but...
201
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,489
I really want to focus
on this family.
202
00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:51,573
Anyone here in favor of that?
203
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,075
- Fuck no.
- No thanks.
204
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,952
- I'll call Kam on the way home.
- Outstanding.
205
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,995
What about you,
my furry friend?
206
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,205
Sometimes the youngest
in the family
207
00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,373
gets lost in the shuffle.
208
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:03,335
Now is your time
to be seen and heard.
209
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,465
Last year, there was this...
210
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,802
girl in my VR headset, and...
211
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:15,555
she was, like, trying to get me
to do something--
212
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,808
Well, get used to that.
213
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,103
Ah, that's our time, Phelps.
214
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,396
He's good.
215
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:33,699
Hello, dear.
216
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,701
Get the fuck out of my house.
217
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:38,537
Honey, are you okay?
218
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:41,081
Yeah. Why do you ask?
219
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,709
You're screaming
at our neighbor.
220
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,961
- Hi.
- Hi, Ter.
221
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,465
You see her?
222
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,675
Yeah.
223
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,721
I let her in.
Pat, this is Ruth.
224
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:56,805
Levin.
225
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,182
I- I just bought
the house next door.
226
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,144
Apparently, the former owner,
she committed suicide.
227
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,854
What are you gonna do?
228
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,772
Oh, that's for me.
229
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,941
Guy named Lard called.
230
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,485
Said he's my best friend.
I don't know.
231
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,945
Ter-bear, think fast.
232
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,407
I just don't have it yet. I--
233
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,326
No, no.
You're-you're getting better.
234
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,202
No, I'm not.
235
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,624
What are you doing here?
236
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,044
Well, like I said,
I'm just, you know,
237
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,421
doing a little juicing
for Terry and the kids.
238
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:32,424
I'm just trying to help out
a little bit around here.
239
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,842
Are you okay?
240
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,309
You're real.
241
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,521
You're real too.
242
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,648
I used to know someone
who looked just like you.
243
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,941
Isn't that funny?
244
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,778
I- I was thinking
you look so familiar too.
245
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:53,945
Are you from Brooklyn?
246
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,655
Everyone in Connecticut
is from Brooklyn.
247
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,158
Okay, so did you walk your dog
in Prospect Park?
248
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,409
No.
249
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,660
Did you possess me in my attic?
250
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,204
No.
251
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,914
Hold on. We'll get it.
252
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,333
All right, so it couldn't be
Rizzo's Butcher
253
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,419
because I was
a vegetarian back then.
254
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:12,005
So we never met there.
255
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,757
And it's not Murray's Cheese
256
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,510
because I was
lactose intolerant.
257
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,387
Oh, June Cleaver.
258
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:19,805
- What?
- Ah.
259
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:22,974
You were in
a prenatal yoga class
260
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,893
about 17 years ago.
261
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:27,229
- Cobble Hill Kundalini.
- Yeah.
262
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:29,272
- Yes.
- I only went twice.
263
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:30,816
I went on the regular.
264
00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:33,026
I mean, in fact,
I did absolutely everything
265
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,403
Dr. Spock recommended,
266
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,696
which really bugged
the crap out of you.
267
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:41,201
I remember one day, I said
that having a baby
268
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,954
was what my whole life
was leading up to.
269
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,539
And then you called me
June Cleaver
270
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,125
and everyone laughed,
except me.
271
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:51,002
- I found it hurtful.
- Oh, my God.
272
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,797
Last year, I was
273
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:57,384
tormented by this imaginary
'50s housewife.
274
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,553
You must've made
a real impression on me,
275
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,721
because she had your face.
276
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,015
Oh, I don't know
what to do with that.
277
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,101
Nothing.
278
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:09,813
I just met the face
of my mental illness.
279
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:12,983
Ah. Well, do me a favor, dear.
280
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:16,278
Will you hand
your mental illness that knife?
281
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:19,156
Oh, yeah.
282
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:20,824
- Thank you.
- Wow.
283
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,744
So if you were
in that yoga class,
284
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,788
you must have a kid
Gaynor's age.
285
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,957
It is the worst, right?
286
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,793
Well, my Leo's an angel.
287
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:35,297
Oh, well, you're lucky.
My Gaynor is--she hates me.
288
00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:37,841
I mean, my Leo's an angel.
289
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:40,093
- He was stillborn.
- Oh.
290
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,348
What are you gonna do?
291
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,350
Oh, God.
292
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,437
So I based Rosemary
on this woman I used to know.
293
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,980
Well, can she sue?
294
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,523
- I don't think so.
- Then who gives a fuck?
295
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,358
Okay, I think we're done.
296
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,359
Thank you.
297
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,486
How do I look?
298
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,362
You look great.
299
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,363
She looks like the Joker.
300
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:01,448
I've done everything I can.
301
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,659
I know I'm sweating.
302
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,953
I just think I'm nervous
to talk about the book.
303
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,580
You know what, honey?
I say, let's just call it.
304
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:09,915
Let's get out of here.
305
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,292
They can go long with
the snake therapy segment.
306
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,377
No, I have to do
something productive.
307
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,795
- I need to mic you.
- Okay.
308
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,339
Okay, well, you never get
a second chance
309
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,216
to make a first impression,
so let's stick to the story.
310
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,009
No ghosts. No demons.
311
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,344
You had a mental breakdown
312
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:23,803
while you were
writing your book,
313
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,804
and now you're recovered.
314
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,139
That is the story.
315
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,641
Yup. Just like that.
316
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,730
Jesus fucking Christ.
317
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,524
And then my catalytic
converter--
318
00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,234
do you know what that is--
got stolen, so that was
319
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,861
kind of sucky, but...
oh, also...
320
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,656
Terry, I have a girlfriend now.
321
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,032
Oh.
322
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:47,911
Yeah, we met at your party.
Oh, Claire's a writer.
323
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:50,372
Wicked smart.
What else?
324
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:54,084
Um, well, she's in a coma.
Do you remember Claire?
325
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:56,378
No.
Honestly, I don't remember you.
326
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,921
Oh, come on.
327
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:00,757
Sure you do.
Terry, I'm you best friend.
328
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,050
Right.
329
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,719
I peed on your floor
before the ambulance came.
330
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,221
Stupid.
331
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,098
Now, I- I do remember
an ambulance.
332
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,935
And I remember
lying on the floor.
333
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,144
Oh.
334
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,480
Yeah. There's lots of colors.
335
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,816
Uh-huh. Coming back to me.
336
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,277
And there was yelling.
337
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:23,989
It was loud and scary and...
338
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:26,074
and...
339
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,158
And?
340
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:31,621
And... and-and...
341
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,042
Just fucking say it, Terry!
342
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,794
No. I forgot it.
343
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,838
That happens.
344
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,840
Anyway, I'm about done here
with the painting
345
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,758
if you want to take a peek.
346
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,051
Wow.
347
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,972
I wish Claire's brain was alive
to see this.
348
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,933
I'm gonna go and rub
ice chips on her lips.
349
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,977
- See ya, buddy.
- All right.
350
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:57,314
I'm gonna figure out
what happened to me.
351
00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,649
We're here with
soft porn publishing phenom
352
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,692
Pat Phelps.
353
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,068
Try saying that
three times fast.
354
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,613
So great to have you
on the show, Pat.
355
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:07,073
Ah, thanks, Lacy.
Is it hot in here?
356
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:11,119
Not for me, but I'm younger.
357
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:14,873
Let's talk about your new book,
Rosemary's Revenge.
358
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,918
It's kind of a slashy thriller
with a retro '50s vibe.
359
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,755
Well, actually it's about
mental illness and recovery.
360
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,632
Well, you haven't
really recovered.
361
00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:26,593
Have you, you crazy bitch?
362
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,553
Yes, I have,
and that's not nice.
363
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,013
Oh, well, what about Terry?
364
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:32,515
Does he know about
the choppy choppy choppy?
365
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,435
Um, can we talk about
something else?
366
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,436
Of course.
367
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,437
What's gonna happen
368
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,814
now that Rosemary
lives next door?
369
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,399
No, her name is Ruth.
370
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,818
That's exactly
what a demon would say.
371
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,737
I think I'm done here.
372
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:48,907
Ooh.
373
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,617
Get me the fuck
out of here!
374
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:55,955
Help!
375
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,956
I'm sorry, Pat.
376
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,333
This isn't the loony bin.
377
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,251
You're not getting
out of here early.
378
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,754
Get me the fuck out of here!
379
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,592
Oh, my God.
380
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:11,346
Wow. Thank you, Pat Phelps.
381
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:15,266
We're gonna cut to commercial
and, uh, call our legal team.
382
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,561
Up next, 16 more minutes
of snake therapy
383
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,313
than we originally planned.
384
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,690
I'm sorry.
385
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:22,941
Yeah, I'm okay.
386
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,401
Cut.
387
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:25,527
What the hell happened?
388
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,070
I don't know. I fell asleep.
389
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,279
I'm not ready for this.
390
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,366
Trish, look at me.
You're fine, okay?
391
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,034
You fucked up on
Good Morning, Shining Vale.
392
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,494
I mean, maybe four people
saw it.
393
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,773
What the hell?
394
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,952
โช You and no one
Else will do โช
395
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,413
โช And I โช
396
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:23,960
โช I've got to have
My way now, baby โช
397
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,462
โช All I know is that to me โช
398
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,422
โช You look like
You're having fun โช
399
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,549
โช Open up your loving arms โช
400
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,676
โช Watch out, here I come โช
401
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:35,221
โช You spin me right 'round
Baby, right 'round โช
402
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:39,184
โช Like a record, baby
Right 'round, 'round, 'round โช
403
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:42,645
โช You spin me right 'round
Baby, right 'round โช
404
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:46,274
โช Like a record, baby
Right 'round, 'round, 'round โช
405
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,607
Gaynor.
406
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,691
Get out!
407
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:29,734
Holy fuck.
408
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,738
Hey, Ruth.
409
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,823
Hey, Pat.
410
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,908
I'm just doing
a little gardening.
411
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:40,328
The soil here is so fertile,
especially near the fence.
412
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,288
Don't you think
it's a little weird
413
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,374
that out of all the places
that you could move to,
414
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,042
it's right next door to someone
415
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,586
who used to bully you
almost 20 years ago?
416
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:51,005
And that you're the face
of my mental illness?
417
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,299
You know, Pat,
418
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,051
I've been through so much
in my life,
419
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,054
so I've stopped
asking myself, "Why me,"
420
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,014
and I've started
asking myself, "Why me?"
421
00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:01,933
I don't hear the difference.
422
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,393
Do you believe in signs?
423
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,311
No. Yes.
424
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,898
I don't--I'm neutral. Why?
425
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,651
A few months back,
426
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,820
I was feeling really down,
you know?
427
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,365
I was tired of city life,
and all of a sudden--
428
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,659
one sec, I have it in here somewhere.
429
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,954
What do I get in the mail?
Ah, here it is.
430
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,289
Look at that.
431
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,002
"Priced to sell."
It means murder house.
432
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,295
I got one too.
433
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,881
Yeah, but maybe God put me here
434
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,091
so that we could try again.
435
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,843
This time as friends.
436
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,344
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
437
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,013
Are you okay? You're shvitzing.
438
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:43,099
I've been sweating a lot lately
and I'm just really tired.
439
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,726
Why am I telling you this?
440
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,603
Because I'm easy
to talk to, Pat.
441
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:49,898
Look, when I was your age,
442
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:53,109
many years ago,
I went through the change.
443
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,153
Many years ago?
How old are you?
444
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:59,198
Well, a lady never tells,
but I had the hot flashes.
445
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,659
I had the bags under the eyes.
I had the dry coochie
446
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:06,247
until I discovered a miracle.
447
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,207
Weed?
448
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,501
- I can't. No.
- No, no.
449
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,836
This is herbal tea.
450
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,338
It's au naturel.
451
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,632
It comes from the herbs
in my garden.
452
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,509
Hand to God, if you drink this,
453
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,637
you are gonna feel 25 again.
454
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,680
You are gonna be moist
in all the right places.
455
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,812
No, I can't.
456
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,190
No offense, but it's your face.
457
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,567
And you just said "moist"
to a stranger.
458
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,527
But we're not strangers, Pat.
459
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,613
We're neighbors.
460
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,239
You'll be back.
461
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,328
Hey.
462
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:48,539
Look, I found your ancient iPod
recorder in the pool table.
463
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:51,417
It's called a Walkman,
and it's not mine.
464
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,794
And it doesn't work.
465
00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:54,629
Try pressing the power button.
466
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:57,215
I played it before.
It was pretty fucking creepy.
467
00:20:57,215 --> 00:21:00,009
These batteries expired
in 1985.
468
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:01,260
That was 20 years ago.
469
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,595
It was almost 40 years ago.
470
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,138
No, it's not. It's--
471
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,100
Okay, what do you think
you heard?
472
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,768
I don't know,
It was the kind of music
473
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,728
in the movies you and Dad
used to think were hilarious
474
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:14,023
and now suck and then
someone screamed, "Get out."
475
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:16,526
You know I used to hear things.
476
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,695
No, this was different.
It was real.
477
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:21,572
I thought it was real too.
478
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,324
If you want to talk about it--
479
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:25,118
No, I'm just...
480
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,869
I'm fucking with you.
481
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,414
Didn't they have jokes
in the mental home?
482
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,132
What the hell?
483
00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:55,231
Are you kidding me?
484
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,085
Come on, Terry.
485
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:18,046
Put it together.
486
00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,297
What happened?
487
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:23,676
What are you missing?
488
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,470
It's gotta be here.
489
00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:55,208
Terry! Terry!
490
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:57,376
Patty!
491
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,628
Terry!
492
00:22:58,628 --> 00:22:59,921
Patty!
493
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:03,174
Hang on.
494
00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,175
Terry!
495
00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:05,676
I'm coming.
496
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,477
Terry!
497
00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:15,853
I'm about halfway.
498
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:18,481
Ah, shit.
499
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:33,955
Patty!
500
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,669
Patty?
501
00:23:39,669 --> 00:23:40,878
Yeah?
502
00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:42,588
I came as fast as I could.
Are you okay?
503
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:43,881
Yeah, why?
504
00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:45,716
You were screaming.
505
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:48,594
Oh, I had a nightmare,
but that was a while ago.
506
00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:52,098
Yeah, I mean,
I- I gotta get that
507
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,934
chair motor fixed or something
508
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:57,019
'cause it's getting a little...
509
00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:58,813
- whoa.
- Oh, my God.
510
00:23:58,813 --> 00:24:01,065
No, no, no, it's-it's good.
It's fine.
511
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:03,192
It's-it's better than fine.
Nice job.
512
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:05,653
No, it just feels really weird
513
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:07,822
for you to see me naked
for the first time.
514
00:24:07,822 --> 00:24:09,949
It's not the first time.
We have two grown children.
515
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:12,743
Yeah, but you were used to it.
516
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:14,328
It's like if you grow up
in Cleveland,
517
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:16,539
you think, "Oh, isn't that
a beautiful city?"
518
00:24:16,539 --> 00:24:18,166
But if you see it
for the first time,
519
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:19,750
you're like, "Ew, is that
a river on fire?"
520
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,794
Well, maybe Terry likes
downtown Cleveland.
521
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:24,005
Maybe we stop calling me Cleveland.
522
00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:27,300
I'm sorry, Terry.
It's just--it's not happening.
523
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,177
Well...
524
00:24:29,177 --> 00:24:32,138
I don't understand.
Did we not love each other?
525
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,765
Oh, we did. We do.
526
00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:36,184
We will.
527
00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:38,853
I just got out of the hospital
and I don't feel sexy.
528
00:24:38,853 --> 00:24:40,354
I'm not there yet.
529
00:24:40,354 --> 00:24:42,064
Maybe I should kiss you.
530
00:24:44,942 --> 00:24:46,485
Yeah, okay.
531
00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:54,368
Get that...
532
00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:04,003
- See what I mean?
- Well, give it a second.
533
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:08,716
Ah, there's nothing.
534
00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:13,179
Not with you.
Not with these goddamn stairs.
535
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,223
I'm gonna go paint.
536
00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:18,684
Try and figure out why all
my pictures have axes in them.
537
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:21,479
- What? They do?
- Yes, Pat.
538
00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:23,731
Apparently, I have an axe
stuck in my head.
539
00:25:23,731 --> 00:25:26,067
Terry, wait.
540
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:27,360
Let's do it.
541
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,361
- Really?
- Yeah.
542
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:29,612
- Hit the lights.
- Okay.
543
00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:31,072
And get the night-light.
544
00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:33,032
Oh, maybe we should wait
545
00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:34,575
till the moon goes behind
that cloud.
546
00:25:34,575 --> 00:25:38,204
Ah, yeah.
Ooh, it's gonna be a minute.
547
00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:40,706
- Won't be able to see anything.
- Exactly.
548
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,667
And while you're up,
will you hand me my purse?
549
00:25:42,667 --> 00:25:44,543
I think my mom put
some lube in there.
550
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:48,673
I--
551
00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:49,715
Wait. Where are you going?
552
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,175
I'm going to paint.
553
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:53,386
I-I don't want to have
deep space sex
554
00:25:53,386 --> 00:25:55,596
with your mom's lube.
555
00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:58,224
I'm sorry.
I promise I'll get there.
556
00:25:59,976 --> 00:26:01,560
Dammit.
557
00:26:11,654 --> 00:26:13,114
Ugh, screw it.
558
00:26:14,949 --> 00:26:16,659
Hello, dear. Here it is.
559
00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:18,661
Now, it's very important
you only take one cup--
560
00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:19,954
- Just give me the tea. Thanks.
- Oh,
561
00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:21,080
- Yeah, I need it.
- You don't need--oh.
562
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,581
- Oh. Oh.
- Thanks. All right. Bye.
563
00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:39,598
Hello, Cleveland.
564
00:26:45,813 --> 00:26:47,356
Oh, this is pointless.
565
00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:19,722
"She co-hopped
her family
566
00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:21,807
up with an axe."
567
00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:25,019
Holy fuck.
568
00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:30,232
Jake.
569
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:31,650
What do you want from me?
570
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,077
Hello, Jake.
571
00:27:43,037 --> 00:27:44,830
Come and play with me.
572
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:46,707
I don't like this game.
573
00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,959
It's not the same game.
574
00:28:28,249 --> 00:28:30,584
What the fuck?
575
00:28:32,336 --> 00:28:33,462
Crazy bitch.
576
00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:46,976
Oh, my God.
577
00:28:55,526 --> 00:28:56,944
Hey, Lacy.
578
00:28:56,944 --> 00:28:59,071
- Hi. It's me, Pat.
- Hi.
579
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:01,240
Hey. I was just on your show.
580
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,783
Are you serious?
581
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:05,077
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
582
00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:07,329
Okay.
583
00:29:07,329 --> 00:29:10,082
Hey, I think I know
who Rosemary is!
584
00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:11,292
What?
585
00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:16,547
Shit.
586
00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:21,510
What are you gonna do?
41564
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