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1
00:00:09,385 --> 00:00:10,557
MAN: Hey.
2
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:16,558
How do you like this? Paradise.
3
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,644
I never want to go home!
4
00:00:18,645 --> 00:00:21,647
David, come on!
It's going to be amazing!
5
00:00:21,648 --> 00:00:23,857
- Are you ready for your surprise?
DAVID: Yes.
6
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:27,236
OK, surprise!
7
00:00:27,237 --> 00:00:29,238
- You like it?
- I love him.
8
00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:31,031
- I love you.
- Mat?
9
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:34,868
- I love you.
- I love you too.
10
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,871
The last ten days on this
island with you have...
11
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:41,875
Have been the best! I can't
remember ever feeling this happy.
12
00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,461
So why do all good things have to end?
13
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,171
Who says it has to end?
14
00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:51,053
Mia, I don't know you but I think I want
to spend the rest of my life trying to.
15
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:56,473
Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
16
00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:57,896
Yes.
17
00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:02,229
Wait till you meet my family.
18
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,028
Wait till you meet mine.
19
00:01:06,401 --> 00:01:08,870
♪ I saw her sitting in the rain
20
00:01:09,988 --> 00:01:13,156
♪ Raindrops falling on her
21
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,033
♪ She didn't seem to care
22
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:17,457
♪ She sat there and smiled at me
23
00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:23,041
♪ Then I knew ♪ I knew,
I knew, I knew, I knew
24
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:28,046
♪ She can make me happy
J“ Happy
25
00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:31,466
♪ Flowers in her hair... ♪
- Sorry.
26
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:38,473
♪ Flowers everywhere
♪ Like a flower girl
27
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:42,894
♪ Oh, I don't know just why
she simply caught my eye
28
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,647
♪ I love the flower girl
29
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:49,860
♪ She seemed so sweet and
kind She crept into my mind
30
00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:52,034
♪Ah
31
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:04,082
♪ I knew I had to say hello
32
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:07,252
♪ She smiled up at me
33
00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:11,679
♪ She took my hand We walked
through the park alone
34
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:17,054
♪ And I knew ♪ I knew,
I knew, I knew, I knew
35
00:02:17,055 --> 00:02:21,266
♪ She had made me
happy ♪ Happy... ♪
36
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:22,434
Shit!
37
00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:25,937
♪ Flowers in her hair
♪ Her hair
38
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:32,653
♪ Flowers everywhere ♪
I love the flower girl
39
00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:37,032
♪ Oh, I don't know just why
she simply caught my eye
40
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,868
♪ I love the flower girl
41
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:43,872
♪ She seemed so sweet and
kind She crept into my mind
42
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:49,471
♪ Crept into my mind
43
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,893
♪ Suddenly the sun broke through
44
00:02:57,428 --> 00:03:00,681
♪ I turned around she was
gone ♪ Where did she go?
45
00:03:00,682 --> 00:03:04,903
♪ And all I had left was one
little flower in my hand
46
00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:09,648
♪ But I knew... ♪
Surprise!
47
00:03:09,649 --> 00:03:11,233
(Shocked gasps)
48
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,737
(Chuckles)
49
00:03:14,821 --> 00:03:16,655
♪ It's dreary and we love it
50
00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:19,032
♪ And it smells like rock‘n'roll
51
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,035
♪ It's not too far from
Chiswick yet it's... ♪
52
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:24,246
I think that was the
most embarrassing thing
53
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,043
that's ever happened to anyone ever.
54
00:03:26,044 --> 00:03:28,008
Sorry, mate,
we weren't supposed to know
55
00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:30,252
you'd come through the
door stark bollock naked.
56
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,879
Yeah, I know. It was... thoughtful.
57
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,049
- Come here, good to have you back!
- You're spilling my drink.
58
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:39,261
Sorry, I've missed you, greasy hippie.
59
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:42,347
Been stuck here for the last six
months with Luke and bloody Graham.
60
00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:44,724
- You know what that's like.
- You alright, Graham?
61
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,524
- This has cheese on it.
- So pick it off.
62
00:03:46,525 --> 00:03:49,896
I can't just pick it off. If I have any
cheese, then I start getting malaise.
63
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,023
- Malaise.
- Yes, malaise.
64
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,859
Good to see nothing's changed.
65
00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:56,445
- Where's Luke?
- He's coming later.
66
00:03:56,446 --> 00:03:59,448
Had to go around Sarah's for the
50 millionth time this week.
67
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:01,668
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah, it's not been good.
68
00:04:01,669 --> 00:04:04,035
She's been seeing this guy called Chip.
69
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:08,248
Yeah, imagine if your girlfriend
left you for a guy called Chip.
70
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,047
Not to mention he doesn't have a penis.
71
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:13,090
What do you mean,
he doesn't have a penis?
72
00:04:13,091 --> 00:04:15,465
Apparently, it got damaged
in a boating accident.
73
00:04:15,466 --> 00:04:17,674
Anyway, how was your trip?
Tell us everything.
74
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,471
- Oh, OK, it was incredible.
- Yeah?
75
00:04:19,472 --> 00:04:21,892
- Did you have sex with anyone?
- Better than that.
76
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:25,766
- What? What's better than that?
- I'll tell you later.
77
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,852
- Whoa! Did you have a threesome?
- Look, the party's still going on.
78
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:29,945
- Just tell us.
- No.
79
00:04:29,946 --> 00:04:32,063
David, you can't leave
us hanging like this.
80
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,486
I'm getting married.
81
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,152
Right! Everybody out!
Party's over!
82
00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:40,655
Grandad, you've had too much
to drink, you drunken old sod.
83
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,033
How did this happen?
84
00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:45,869
How do you think it happened?
I fell in love.
85
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:48,663
Her name's Mia. She's Australian.
86
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:51,249
We met in Tuvalu, this
little island in the Pacific.
87
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:55,721
And she is the most amazing,
beautiful, intelligent...
88
00:04:57,673 --> 00:05:00,759
You know, the normal thing at this
point is to say congratulations.
89
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,678
Congratulations, I feel like I've
just fucking aged ten years.
90
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:06,598
Holiday flings are meant to end
at the airport, not at the altar.
91
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,567
Don't listen to him, David,
this is great.
92
00:05:08,568 --> 00:05:11,978
We're right behind you all the way.
Just tell us where the party is.
93
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,027
It's at Mia's parents‘ house
in Australia.
94
00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:16,983
What, is that a fucking joke?
95
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:20,487
I can't go to Australia, it's bloody miles away!
You know I get air sickness.
96
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:23,031
Jesus, I thought you'd be a
little bit more supportive
97
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:26,368
If you don't come, it's just gonna be
me and a load of bloody Australians.
98
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,167
- You're all I got.
- Excuse me, 20 years
99
00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:30,997
since we've been friends, when
have we ever let you down?
100
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,959
Uh, what about the time you told
Rachel Brookman I had syphilis?
101
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,429
Yeah, apart from that. When
you used to ride your bike
102
00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:40,257
up and down Dorset Street on your own
like some kind of an infant leper,
103
00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:42,226
we were the ones who
took you into our gang.
104
00:05:42,227 --> 00:05:44,469
Even though you were this
lost little orphan boy
105
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,813
who everyone thought was gay.
106
00:05:45,814 --> 00:05:47,889
What do you mean, everyone
thought I was gay?
107
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,934
They did ‘cause you were all sensitive
and nice to people and shit.
108
00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:53,734
Suppose you'll be moving to a
nice two-bed in Hertfordshire?
109
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,066
Oh, you're fucking joking.
You're moving to Australia?
110
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,661
No, it's not set yet. We'll just...
see how it goes.
111
00:06:02,822 --> 00:06:05,365
- Hey, Luke.
- Hi, David.
112
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,617
- How are you?
- Yeah, pretty good.
113
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,287
I mean, I feel like I've given
the last five years of my life
114
00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:14,040
in return for unimaginable pain and
torment but aside from that, I'm fine.
115
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,464
David's getting married
and moving to Australia.
116
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,059
(Wails)
117
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,137
Taxi!
118
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:33,560
Why does she only want you there
one day before the wedding?
119
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:36,271
- She thought it'd be romantic.
- You know what bugs me, bruv?
120
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:39,107
You are about to gamble your life
on a girl you don't even know.
121
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:41,575
She's not a roulette wheel,
she's the love of my life.
122
00:06:41,576 --> 00:06:43,537
What if she turns out
to be a vagina farter?
123
00:06:43,538 --> 00:06:46,197
Your one serious relationship,
you dumped her ‘cause...
124
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,491
Front bottom burps, noisy
flange, disgusting.
125
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,288
When you lose your parents young,
Tom,
126
00:06:50,289 --> 00:06:52,584
you learn to roll the dice
when it's handed to you.
127
00:06:52,585 --> 00:06:55,790
Oh, I've taken you to Blackpool,
brother, you're a terrible gambler.
128
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,251
- What exactly have I got to lose?
- Us!
129
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,720
Aww...
130
00:07:00,713 --> 00:07:03,506
Couldn't lose you if you were
a suitcase at Terminal Five.
131
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:06,426
I'm just looking out for you, that's all.
I don't know this girl.
132
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,928
And neither do you.
133
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:10,221
DAVID: Don't you believe
in love at first sight?
134
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,391
I just can't believe you're getting married.
It's just so grown-up
135
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,935
Every time I look at you,
136
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:17,479
I still see a little
eight-year-old waif in gym shorts.
137
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,022
That's a bit weird.
138
00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:21,650
- Hi.
- Luke.
139
00:07:21,651 --> 00:07:23,485
- How are you?
- Awful.
140
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:26,029
Sarah and Chip have
officially moved in together.
141
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,828
- I'm so sorry, mate.
- Yeah.
142
00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:31,284
Well, maybe this trip will do you some good.
Maybe you'll get some distance.
143
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,083
- Maybe the plane will crash.
- Sorry.
144
00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:37,040
Sorry.
145
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,708
Sorry I'm late.
146
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:42,087
Picking up my new business
cards - going global.
147
00:07:42,088 --> 00:07:46,059
Hitler's selling underfloor heating to Australians.
Oh, this is gonna be huge.
148
00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:49,636
- Graham, what is that on your face?
- What?
149
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,888
That. That monstrosity.
150
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:55,058
- Oh, you mean the moustache?
- Yes, the moustache.
151
00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:59,062
I'm about to meet my future family, I
can't have you turn up looking like a...
152
00:07:59,063 --> 00:08:01,231
- Like a...
- Genocidal Fascist dictator.
153
00:08:01,232 --> 00:08:04,317
What are you talking about? Moustaches
are really in at the moment.
154
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:07,195
- Not Hitler moustaches.
- Look, it's how my facial hair grows.
155
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,739
Alright? I can't help the
fact it looks like Hitler's.
156
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,783
Why are you being so negative,
anyway?
157
00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:13,409
Why can't it be a Chaplin moustache?
158
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,163
- Sit down, you're in the way.
- Sorry.
159
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,665
- Jesus!
- Bloody Hitler.
160
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,750
Ruined this moustache for everyone.
161
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,128
Guys...
162
00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:26,464
- We're going to Australia.
- Yeah, with 14 stopovers.
163
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:29,639
Yes, stewardess! A bottle of
your cheapest champagne, please!
164
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:35,682
Toast to my friend, David Locking!
165
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,276
Mr David Locking!
166
00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:42,027
Jorge Buentiempo! (Speaks Spanish)
167
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:50,039
..754 miles, 8,754 miles.
168
00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:58,246
Coconut Mist. Now available duty-free.
Coconut Mist.
169
00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:01,875
I thought that was never gonna end.
It was worse than a jazz concert.
170
00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:03,376
Really? I slept most of the way.
171
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,212
That's ‘cause you weren't sitting
next to the droning clock.
172
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,423
I can't believe he's doing
the best man speech.
173
00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:11,134
- I've have done much better.
- Thought I'd give him a boost.
174
00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:14,054
- Something else to focus on.
- I'd have been fuckin' hilarious.
175
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:15,972
- David Locking?
- Yes?
176
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,932
Come this way, please.
177
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,434
(Dog grunts)
178
00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:21,269
- Take the bag.
- Why?
179
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:24,439
I've got something in it for David's stag do.
I don't want it searched.
180
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,818
- Absolutely not.
- Look at me, I'm sweaty.
181
00:09:26,819 --> 00:09:29,903
I look guilty as hell. They won't
search you, you're too confident.
182
00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:31,488
True and I'm still not taking it.
183
00:09:31,489 --> 00:09:34,908
- Uh, have we done something wrong?
- Not at all, Mr Locking.
184
00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:38,203
I work for your father-in-law and
you're going straight to the VIP room.
185
00:09:38,204 --> 00:09:40,580
Welcome to Australia.
(Elevator dings)
186
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,665
VIP. Bloody damn it.
187
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,627
Now they're never gonna
X-ray your bag.
188
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,551
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Welcome to VIP X-ray.
189
00:09:47,552 --> 00:09:49,890
Please hand your bags
to the attendant.
190
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,056
(Alarm sounds)
191
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,272
- Graham Vincent?
- Yes?
192
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:06,031
MAN: Shall we pop this in
your duty-free bag, sir?
193
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,027
- That was embarrassing.
- Why d'you get a gimp mask, anyway?
194
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,247
- Who does that?
- I thought it'd be a laugh.
195
00:10:13,248 --> 00:10:15,073
(Sighs) We're in Australia.
196
00:10:15,074 --> 00:10:16,616
Who could survive here?
197
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,119
All that sun and beefs gonna
piss you off eventually.
198
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,620
I could learn to live with it.
199
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,831
Gonna call Sarah, let
her know we've arrived.
200
00:10:22,832 --> 00:10:25,834
Yeah, she's probably sitting by
the phone counting the minutes.
201
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,335
There she is. There's Mia.
202
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,464
LUKE: Damn signal.
(David laughs)
203
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,092
Mia!
204
00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:36,016
MIA: David!
205
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:41,474
- Oh, you alright?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.
206
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,017
I'm good.
207
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:45,186
- How was the flight?
- Fine.
208
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:47,030
- Really long, though.
- Yeah?
209
00:10:47,031 --> 00:10:48,356
Yeah...
210
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,817
- I'll leave you to it, then.
- OK.
211
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:53,695
- Meet the guys. Uh, this is...
- No, no, no, don't tell me.
212
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:57,282
Um, Tom, Luke and...
213
00:10:57,283 --> 00:10:59,160
This is a Chaplin moustache
by the way.
214
00:10:59,161 --> 00:11:00,243
..Graham.
215
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,245
David's pretty much told me everything.
216
00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,669
Well, I hope he hasn't been
slagging us off too much.
217
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:07,584
Of course not. He just called you
a pack of pricks but that was it.
218
00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:10,920
- What, really?
- No, no! He didn't really.
219
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:13,344
Anyway, I brought the big
car so we're all gonna fit.
220
00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:15,884
- It's OK, we've organized a car rental.
- Are you sure?
221
00:11:15,885 --> 00:11:18,887
It's quite a hike and might be the
only time I get you all to myself.
222
00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:22,223
- Well, then, spend it with David.
- You don't know where you're going.
223
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:24,976
And God created satellites.
It's fine, Graham's driving.
224
00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:26,978
- What? No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.
225
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:30,899
Go, go and exchange some bodily fluids,
you know, we'll see you later.
226
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,743
Alright, cool.
227
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:36,738
- See you later.
- See ya.
228
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:37,947
Bye.
229
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:40,074
LUKE: ..this is my
chair, I paid for it.
230
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,035
- We good?
- Yeah.
231
00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:45,371
LUKE: Don't hang up, don't hang up, please!
Come on. Sarah!
232
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,457
Luke, come on, man.
233
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,292
- Sarah, she's...
- Oh, shut up.
234
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:52,045
- So, here we are.
- Yep.
235
00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:54,672
(Sighs) We're getting married tomorrow.
236
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,965
Yep.
237
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,387
Doesn't give me much time to
get to know your parents.
238
00:11:58,388 --> 00:12:00,387
Oh, we've got all the time in the world.
239
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:04,058
God... I've waited...
three whole months...
240
00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:08,021
(Beeping)
241
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:15,035
Ooh, what have we here?
242
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,036
LUKE: I don't think she was
that happy to hear from me.
243
00:12:20,037 --> 00:12:22,242
What, really? What's wrong with her?
244
00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:25,245
See, if I broke up with a
girl, what I'd want her to do
245
00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:27,455
is ring me and hassle me constantly.
246
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:30,667
- At least I've had a girl.
- I've had girlfriends, Luke.
247
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:32,466
Inflatable girlfriends don't count.
248
00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:36,047
Look, I've told you a thousand times,
that was delivered to me by mistake.
249
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,517
Anyway, I will phone her
and I'll keep phoning her
250
00:12:38,518 --> 00:12:40,051
until she agrees to take me back.
251
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,095
- Good plan, Luke!
- (Graham chuckles)
252
00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:43,680
(Mia giggles)
253
00:12:43,681 --> 00:12:46,525
DAVID: I can't believe I can
actually reach out and touch you.
254
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,021
(Both laugh)
255
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,732
If it wasn't for that photo,
I'd swear Tuvalu was just...
256
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,651
A dream?
257
00:12:56,652 --> 00:13:00,873
Yeah, sometimes I wish I'd just snap
my fingers and we'd be back there.
258
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,334
Be careful what you wish for.
259
00:13:15,421 --> 00:13:17,719
What are we doing in the
middle of the jungle, Tom?
260
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,924
Does that thing have any
idea where it's going?
261
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,926
Yeah, we're just on a small detour.
262
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,762
Found this guy, he said he could
sell us some weed for tonight.
263
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:29,726
Are you mental? I'm not taking a detour
to some skanky drug dealer's house.
264
00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:31,479
We're supposed to be here for David!
265
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,229
This is for David, bell end.
266
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:36,357
For his stag night. We can't have
stag night without weed, can we?
267
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,484
- Can't we?
- No!
268
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,658
It's just down here, anyway. Turn left.
269
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,541
DAVID: Yester?
MIA: Yester Grange.
270
00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:52,462
Oldest house
in the Blue Mountains.
271
00:13:52,463 --> 00:13:54,005
DAVID: Wow.
272
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:04,057
Mum, Daph, meet David.
273
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,599
David, this is my adorable mum,
Barbara.
274
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,477
Welcome to the family, David.
275
00:14:12,478 --> 00:14:14,697
(cries)
276
00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:20,026
Um, Mum, he's British,
you're scaring him.
277
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,246
Oh, I'm sorry.
278
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:27,283
- Um, hi, I'm Daphne.
- Daph, my sister and my bestest mate.
279
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,452
Great to meet you.
280
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:31,251
- So where's...
DAPHNE: The old crock?
281
00:14:31,252 --> 00:14:36,459
My husband has been the only man
in this house for almost 25 years.
282
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:40,090
So, please, excuse his...
283
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:43,841
..enthusiasm.
284
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,803
- Right.
- Don't worry, he won't eat you.
285
00:14:46,804 --> 00:14:49,055
Yeah, we fed him a big breakfast.
286
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,891
So, sweetheart,
ready to meet the senator?
287
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,441
Uh, yeah. Can't wait.
288
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:03,736
You're not seriously getting
out of the car, are you?
289
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,197
- Haven't you seen Wolf Creek?
- What?
290
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:07,698
It'll be fine.
291
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:10,368
- You coming, Luke?
- You go, just leave me here to die.
292
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:13,371
Luke, can you look after my bag, please?
It's got all my stuff in it.
293
00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:16,421
After I've been raped and murdered
and out into small pieces, sure.
294
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:21,255
Wait! Wait!
295
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:27,093
Tom, can we get in and out as
quickly as possible, please?
296
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,346
He's a drug dealer, Graham.
297
00:15:28,347 --> 00:15:30,471
Do you think we're gonna
stay for tea and cakes?
298
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:32,598
You're the one who brought
your overnight bag.
299
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:36,269
JIM: I told the caterer, no
wheat, no dairy, no nuts,
300
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:39,439
no gluten, no seafood, no marzipan.
What's so hard about that?
301
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,566
BARBARA: Jim!
302
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,819
- It's time.
JIM: Well, well, well.
303
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,405
We meet at last.
304
00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:49,073
The hero of Tuvalu.
305
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,117
MIA: David, my dad, Jim Ramme.
306
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,703
JIM: Hmm, I was expecting
a little more beef.
307
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:57,165
Dad... be supportive.
308
00:15:57,166 --> 00:16:00,376
Yeah, I'd give him a minute before
you start busting his balls.
309
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,170
I see you've met Daphne.
310
00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:05,006
There we were, hoping she'd
get married as well one day.
311
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,841
Turns out she's a lesbian.
312
00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:11,179
David, you must be exhausted.
Would you like to freshen up?
313
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,432
Actually, that'd be...
314
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:15,600
He probably wants to get stuck into
the grand tour, don't you, Dave?
315
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:19,026
(Laughs) You know, it's been a really
long flight and everything so...
316
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:22,483
The tour would be great.
317
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,991
- Hi! Are you Ray?
- No.
318
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,868
We're looking for Ray.
319
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:36,370
Said we could come by and get some
- (Clicks tongue)
320
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,590
You know... Some weed.
321
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,211
Come inside.
322
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,340
Mad Frank send you?
323
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:50,015
No, I emailed you. Um...
324
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:54,185
I'm Tom, from the website, remember?
325
00:16:56,099 --> 00:17:00,019
- Who's the bag man?
- It's just my friend, Graham.
326
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:03,648
This isn't a Hitler moustache, by the way.
It's just how my facial hair grows.
327
00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,242
RAY: Sit the fuck down.
TOM: OK.
328
00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:16,786
So, how much do you need?
329
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:19,586
Five, ten kilos?
330
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,173
Just an eighth if that's cool.
331
00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:28,005
It's for a friend's stag night.
332
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,799
(Dog whimpers)
333
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,801
I'd prefer it if you tried it first.
334
00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:34,679
I don't want you pounding down my
door in the middle of the night
335
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,180
saying I sold you dodgy grass.
336
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:38,809
(Chuckles nervously) I don't
think we'll be doing that.
337
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:42,981
I said, I'd prefer it
if you tried it first.
338
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,991
TOM: Tastes good, doesn't it?
- (Coughs)
339
00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:57,451
Tastes quite... Quite fruity.
340
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,995
JIM: Next up, the sauna.
341
00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:02,164
12-inch window with a five-star view.
342
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,375
(David laughs) That's funny.
343
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:09,005
- That wasn't a joke, Dave. MIA:
Grandad built that sauna in 1963.
344
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:13,801
Carpenter, struggling to raise seven
children, now I own the whole property.
345
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:17,013
You can have it all, Dave, if you
don't mind getting your hands dirty.
346
00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:19,181
You see that house over there?
347
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:21,651
You play your cards right and
it's got your name on it.
348
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:26,147
- So, you guys mates?
- Yeah.
349
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,107
Grew up on the same street.
350
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:32,194
I used to have mates but most of
them are in prison or dead now.
351
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:35,448
Look, I've tried making new friends,
you know, on the internet and that
352
00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:37,992
but I don't know,
you can't trust anyone.
353
00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:41,162
One day they're your best mate,
354
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,914
the next they're stabbing you
in the back for a gram of speed
355
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,042
and you wind up having
to break their kneecaps
356
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,586
with a fucking ironing
board, then where are ya?
357
00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:51,181
- D'you mind if I use your toilet?
- In the meth lab.
358
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:55,181
Tom...
359
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:03,060
Hey, would you like to see
my new tattoo?
360
00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:06,022
Yeah.
361
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,566
(Gasps)
362
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,161
- Ain't she a corker?
- Yeah.
363
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,282
- What is it?
- Well, it's a little kid crying.
364
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:22,078
And those are his bastard
parents leaving him for dead.
365
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:23,829
It's original.
366
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,581
And I've saved the best for last.
367
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:29,168
Pull your socks up, Dave, ‘cause
they're about to get knocked off.
368
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:32,004
This is it - Jim Ramme HQ.
369
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:35,174
DAVID: It's... impressive.
370
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:38,010
MIA: This is also
where we keep Ramsy.
371
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,179
Uh, who's Ramsy?
372
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,223
DAPHNE: He's the son Dad never had.
373
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:45,017
- I thought you were.
- (Daphne smirks)
374
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,603
Prepare yourself, Dave,
to meet the numero uno,
375
00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:50,356
the king of kings, the
champion of champions.
376
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:53,361
This is Ramsy.
377
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,576
DAVID: Wow. A sheep.
378
00:19:58,115 --> 00:19:59,657
In the house.
379
00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:02,201
He's not just any old sheep.
380
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,625
The day I was photographed
with this golden fleece,
381
00:20:04,626 --> 00:20:06,580
my political career turned around.
382
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:08,916
(Groans) (Woman clears throat)
383
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:13,587
You've met my terrifyingly efficient
right-hand woman, Maureen Coate.
384
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,799
Mr Locking, I prepared an Excel
spreadsheet of the proceedings
385
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,926
for you and your colourful companions.
386
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:21,021
David, where are your friends?
387
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:26,016
- You got parents?
- Uh, yes.
388
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,810
Oh, you're lucky.
389
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,311
Yeah, my parents disowned me
390
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:31,779
when I got done for aggravated
assault and battery
391
00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:33,275
at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
392
00:20:33,276 --> 00:20:35,653
I still think about them.
393
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:40,156
- My parents...
- It's only natural.
394
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:42,783
(Sniffs)
395
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:48,748
Can I share with you
something personal?
396
00:20:48,749 --> 00:20:52,168
I've started getting panic attacks.
397
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:55,379
One minute I'll just be sitting
down real nice and calm
398
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,090
and the next, I don't know, I
feel like I'm gonna shit myself
399
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,800
or I'm gonna puke or...
400
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:01,844
I feel like I'm trapped
in a sauna, you know?
401
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,439
Can't breathe, it's all
sweaty, it's fucked.
402
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:11,020
Wow. Wow. Wow.
403
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:13,147
I don't know what it is but...
404
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:16,152
(Sighs) I feel like you and I...
405
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,997
..you know, we've got a
really special connection.
406
00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,784
Tom!
407
00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:27,369
- Hey, you want to see something cool?
- Yeah!
408
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:29,213
Wait there.
409
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:34,919
Can we get out of here, please? This
guy's starting to freak me out.
410
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,797
MIA: So, gloves off, what do you think?
411
00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:39,423
Shrewd choice, sweet pea...
412
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:43,803
handsome, sweet, diplomatically quiet.
413
00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:47,807
Yeah, and you know what they
say about the quiet ones?
414
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:49,725
Tomorrow's gonna be tough.
415
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:53,145
My little girl says you can handle
it and that's good enough for me.
416
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:57,566
Half the power brokers in Australia
are going to be in that marquee.
417
00:21:57,567 --> 00:22:01,362
The knives will be out and they
won't be for cutting the cake.
418
00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:02,990
But watch them fall on their swords
419
00:22:02,991 --> 00:22:07,993
when you and future senator Mia
Ramme step up to the mike.
420
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,788
- Mia wants to be a senator?
- She sure does.
421
00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:12,373
She just doesn't know it yet.
422
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:15,376
Here, check this shit out.
423
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,002
Just got it in from Malaysia.
424
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,922
This fat old woman,
she swallowed the lot
425
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:21,632
and shat them out into a bowl.
426
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,759
I got a big fucking bag of it, eh.
427
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,387
- Interested?
- I don't... It's not really my thing.
428
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:27,930
But... Oh, is that the time?
429
00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:30,140
We should probably go now,
Tom, don't you think?
430
00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:33,394
Well, I was thinking maybe while you're
in town, we could go for a beer.
431
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,896
- Huh?
- We'll go for a beer.
432
00:22:35,897 --> 00:22:39,900
Well, I'd love to but
we've got lots on so...
433
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:42,279
- What have we got going on?
- We've got the wedding.
434
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,030
Yeah, but after the wedding,
we've got literally nothing.
435
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,783
Terrific. You give us your
number and I'll give you a call.
436
00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:49,326
- My number?
- Yeah, yeah.
437
00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:52,329
Uh, my number. Well, I can't
remember it ‘cause it's a new phone.
438
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:54,296
Here, just take
one of his business cards.
439
00:22:54,297 --> 00:22:55,713
It's got his number, his email
440
00:22:55,714 --> 00:22:58,252
and if you really have nothing
to do, there's Twitter.
441
00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:01,005
Maybe we could go out for a meal,
yeah?
442
00:23:01,006 --> 00:23:03,008
- Yeah, that would be fantastic.
- Great.
443
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,519
- Don't worry about it.
- Thanks, man.
444
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:13,811
- So, it's a date?
- Yeah.
445
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:21,150
Total bloody knob end.
446
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:22,776
Why d'you give that guy my card?
447
00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:24,698
I don't want to go to
dinner with that guy!
448
00:23:24,699 --> 00:23:26,915
- Don't you?
- Of course not! He's a psychopath!
449
00:23:26,916 --> 00:23:29,658
Let's get out of here before he
invites me on a weekend break.
450
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:32,162
(Laughs)
451
00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:39,837
CATERER: Ah!
(Crash!)
452
00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:44,840
Jesus Christ on a bike!
453
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:48,391
Dave, your... mates are here.
454
00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:59,104
Interesting choice of facial
scrub you got there, fella.
455
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,648
It's just the way my hair grows.
456
00:24:00,649 --> 00:24:03,776
Well, there's only room for
one dictator in this family.
457
00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:06,997
I'm so hungry, I could eat a
sack full of baby kittens.
458
00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,575
This is amazing, Barbara. What is it?
459
00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:15,162
We have Crystal Cove
prawns, Coffin Bay oysters
460
00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:18,588
and lobster mornay in a cheese sauce.
461
00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:22,586
(Graham retches)
462
00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,838
(Tom chuckles)
463
00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:28,175
Sorry - it's cheese.
464
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,885
I get malaise.
465
00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:32,012
So, what do you do, Luke?
466
00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:35,057
I fall in love with women who then
shit on me from a great height.
467
00:24:35,058 --> 00:24:38,185
You shouldn't put them on a pedestal.
468
00:24:38,186 --> 00:24:40,359
So what are the bride and
groom going to be doing
469
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,064
on their final night of freedom?
470
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:45,985
Oh, we're gonna crank up the Abba,
turn on the sauna, get pedicures.
471
00:24:45,986 --> 00:24:48,153
Maybe do some underarm hair waxing.
472
00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:51,782
- Oh, Daphne. Girls only, I'm afraid.
- Oh, that's a shame.
473
00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:53,784
What about you boys?
474
00:24:53,785 --> 00:24:56,206
I think we'll just head out,
have a quiet drink or two.
475
00:24:56,207 --> 00:24:58,079
- Just two?
- You're welcome to join us.
476
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,550
Yeah, Jim, come with us.
We're gonna get wankered.
477
00:25:00,551 --> 00:25:02,167
Not wankered.
478
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:04,762
Don't listen to what he says,
we're gonna get wankered.
479
00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:08,799
I'm sorry about my
friends, that was awful.
480
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,759
Come on, they're really funny.
481
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,429
They're not meant to be funny,
they're meant to be normal.
482
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:16,181
Baby, it's a wedding, OK?
Worlds collide.
483
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,775
(sighs)
484
00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:25,024
So, this is it, isn't it?
485
00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:27,651
I'm not gonna see you till
you're walking down the aisle.
486
00:25:27,652 --> 00:25:29,325
Afraid not.
487
00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,782
Love you, Mr Locking.
488
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:35,626
(sighs)
489
00:25:37,537 --> 00:25:40,456
- Fuck me, mate, she's loaded.
- Can you keep your voice down?
490
00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:42,380
Alright, David? You seem a bit stressed.
491
00:25:42,381 --> 00:25:45,085
I am stressed. I just found out
I'm about to marry a Kennedy,
492
00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:46,712
you turn up acting like morons.
493
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:49,381
- Who's acting like morons?
- You vomited onto your plate.
494
00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:51,760
- It had cheese.
- Look, this wedding is important.
495
00:25:51,761 --> 00:25:54,678
More important than anything ever
so I need everyone to behave.
496
00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:56,597
(Bu rps)
497
00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:58,015
OK.
498
00:25:58,016 --> 00:26:02,817
(Sighs) I'm not going anywhere and
you're not getting me wankered.
499
00:26:04,606 --> 00:26:07,399
DAVID: I'm completely
wankered, you bastards.
500
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,486
TOM: 11th hour with the lads, of
course you were gonna get wankered.
501
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:13,530
LUKE: You're not seriously going
to move out here, are you, David?
502
00:26:13,531 --> 00:26:15,365
What‘ll happen to us if you go?
503
00:26:15,366 --> 00:26:19,578
DAVID: I'll always be there
for you, mate, wherever I am.
504
00:26:19,579 --> 00:26:22,081
We're practically brothers.
505
00:26:22,082 --> 00:26:27,086
So what? If Chip doesn't have a
penis, it doesn't reflect on you.
506
00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:29,171
LUKE: Who told you Chip
doesn't have a penis?
507
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:31,006
- Tom did.
- Tom!
508
00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:33,383
TOM: That Chip has sailed! (Laughs)
509
00:26:33,384 --> 00:26:34,927
This place is a nightmare.
510
00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:38,013
They don't tell you about all this
shit in the adverts, do they?
511
00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:39,681
Guys, watch this.
512
00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:42,017
Graham. Graham.
513
00:26:42,018 --> 00:26:44,061
What the fuck is that on your neck,
man?
514
00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:45,604
(squeals)
515
00:26:45,605 --> 00:26:47,858
(All laugh)
- Get it off me! Get it off me!
516
00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:53,195
Get off me! Get off me!
517
00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:56,156
Seriously, where is it? Where is it?
Where is it, guys?
518
00:26:56,157 --> 00:26:58,784
It's on the ground, Graham,
with all the other leaves.
519
00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:01,787
(All laugh)
GRAHAM: Bastards.
520
00:27:01,788 --> 00:27:04,164
(Bleating)
521
00:27:04,165 --> 00:27:06,542
What the fuck do we have here?
522
00:27:06,543 --> 00:27:08,585
(Laughing)
523
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:11,055
GRAHAM: Look at the size
of his man boobs.
524
00:27:14,134 --> 00:27:16,009
This isn't just any sheep, Graham.
525
00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:18,387
This is Ramsy.
526
00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:20,140
The ram behind the man.
527
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:28,355
TOM: David, get in there.
DAVID: No, no, I will not...
528
00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:30,950
(Laughing and bleating)
529
00:27:34,529 --> 00:27:38,615
Six hours and 59 minutes till lift-off.
Go, go, go, people!
530
00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:40,289
(Sounds horn)
- Come on!
531
00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:45,372
(Door opens) (Gasps)
532
00:27:45,373 --> 00:27:47,166
It's not too late to elope.
533
00:27:47,167 --> 00:27:51,003
(Laughs) Oh, yeah, Dad would
be cool if I went and eloped.
534
00:27:51,004 --> 00:27:54,590
Yeah, leave it to me to do all the
bad-ass stuff in this family.
535
00:27:54,591 --> 00:27:58,594
Like smoking, failing
uni, eating cheesecake.
536
00:27:58,595 --> 00:28:02,389
And pretending to be a lesbian
just to piss Dad off.
537
00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:05,601
Daph, is it normal to feel this nervous?
538
00:28:05,602 --> 00:28:09,563
Yeah, you could be about to make
the biggest mistake of your life.
539
00:28:09,564 --> 00:28:13,150
♪ It's a beautiful morning
540
00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:15,569
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
(Gasps)
541
00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:19,573
♪ I think I'll just go outside
for a while
542
00:28:19,574 --> 00:28:22,373
♪ And just smile
543
00:28:23,536 --> 00:28:27,164
♪ Just take in
some clean fresh air, boy
544
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:30,375
♪ Ain't no sense in staying inside
545
00:28:30,376 --> 00:28:35,172
♪ If the weather’s fine and
you still got the time
546
00:28:35,173 --> 00:28:38,217
♪ It's your chance to wake up and plan
547
00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:41,178
♪ Another brand-new
day ♪ Either way
548
00:28:41,179 --> 00:28:44,014
♪ It's a beautiful morning... ♪
549
00:28:44,015 --> 00:28:45,682
Aaah!
550
00:28:45,683 --> 00:28:48,560
- Fuck it!
(Clatter)
551
00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:50,896
GRAHAM: Luke! Tom!
- (Groans)
552
00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:54,983
- What are you shouting about?
- What do you think I'm shouting about?
553
00:28:54,984 --> 00:28:58,153
- Get it off me!
- (Laughs)
554
00:28:58,154 --> 00:29:02,157
- Alright, alright, calm down.
- (Whimpers)
555
00:29:02,158 --> 00:29:05,285
Quick! Get it off me, please.
I can't breathe.
556
00:29:05,286 --> 00:29:07,371
- What do you look like?
- Just get it off me.
557
00:29:07,372 --> 00:29:08,914
- (Laughs)
- Please.
558
00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:13,001
♪ ..sun shines when
you're still inside, man
559
00:29:13,002 --> 00:29:15,170
♪ Still inside
560
00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:18,382
♪ Still inside, the sun shines... ♪
561
00:29:18,383 --> 00:29:20,010
Hey, Ramsy.
562
00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:23,729
(Bleats)
563
00:29:25,765 --> 00:29:27,813
Oh, for fuck's sake.
564
00:29:29,978 --> 00:29:31,980
(Bleats)
565
00:29:40,071 --> 00:29:42,119
(Hums The Wedding March)
566
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,997
(Knock on door)
- Hang on, I got to get that.
567
00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:52,582
No, not while I'm like this, Tom.
568
00:29:52,583 --> 00:29:55,211
- What the fuck happened to my hand?
- Tom...
569
00:29:56,754 --> 00:29:59,423
- Tom.
- Barbara, hi.
570
00:29:59,424 --> 00:30:03,019
I see you made it through the
big night out in one piece.
571
00:30:05,555 --> 00:30:10,017
Um, just checking if you
needed any clean... towels.
572
00:30:10,018 --> 00:30:13,020
No, I think we're OK for towels.
Graham?
573
00:30:13,021 --> 00:30:17,607
- Need some towels?
- Uh, no, thanks, Barbara. Thank you.
574
00:30:17,608 --> 00:30:20,527
TOM: David might like some.
575
00:30:20,528 --> 00:30:23,372
BARBARA: Rightio, then.
576
00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:26,746
Bye, Barbara.
577
00:30:29,746 --> 00:30:31,999
(Hums The Wedding March)
578
00:30:37,545 --> 00:30:40,014
- (Ramsy bleats)
- (Clears throat)
579
00:30:42,008 --> 00:30:44,801
Morning, David!
All ready for the big day?
580
00:30:44,802 --> 00:30:46,053
Yeah.
581
00:30:46,054 --> 00:30:48,221
Just wondering if I could
check in your room...
582
00:30:48,222 --> 00:30:51,600
God, no! Uh, I mean, no. Thanks.
583
00:30:51,601 --> 00:30:54,603
(Bleating)
- (Laughs)
584
00:30:54,604 --> 00:30:57,981
OK, well, if you need anything,
if you need anything at all,
585
00:30:57,982 --> 00:30:59,566
you just let me know, OK?
586
00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:01,068
Yep.
587
00:31:01,069 --> 00:31:02,787
- OK, bye.
- Bye.
588
00:31:09,327 --> 00:31:12,206
(Graham groans)
- You alright, bruv?
589
00:31:13,956 --> 00:31:15,799
GRAHAM: Back off.
- Jesus, Graham!
590
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,793
Why are you wearing a gimp mask?
591
00:31:17,794 --> 00:31:21,004
Ah! He put it on me while I was asleep.
592
00:31:21,005 --> 00:31:23,090
I don't know why you
thought that'd be funny.
593
00:31:23,091 --> 00:31:25,801
- Yeah, must be insane, it's not funny.
- Stop it!
594
00:31:25,802 --> 00:31:29,054
The bigger question is what
is Ramsy doing in my room?
595
00:31:29,055 --> 00:31:30,932
- Who?
- The sheep!
596
00:31:32,975 --> 00:31:34,810
Jim's sheep.
597
00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:37,562
That's right, the little fucker bit me
598
00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:40,190
It's in my room
just like a lady... sheep.
599
00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:43,568
- That was your idea to put it in drag.
- Oh, yeah, I did, didn't I?
600
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:45,612
I thought it'd be quite funny
at the time.
601
00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:48,490
You need to get him back before
someone realises he's missing.
602
00:31:48,491 --> 00:31:51,785
If Jim finds out we fucked with
Ram, he's gonna go apes hit.
603
00:31:51,786 --> 00:31:54,454
And I don't want to deal with
that on my wedding day, do you?
604
00:31:54,455 --> 00:31:56,998
- No.
- Right then, so fix it.
605
00:31:56,999 --> 00:32:00,961
Get her... him back to the old house.
606
00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:02,464
Sorry.
607
00:32:10,763 --> 00:32:12,015
(Bleating)
608
00:32:12,016 --> 00:32:17,191
♪ I rode my bicycle past
your window last night
609
00:32:18,729 --> 00:32:24,025
♪ I roller skated to your door
at daylight
610
00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:26,361
♪ It almost seemed... ♪
- Tom, seriously!
611
00:32:26,362 --> 00:32:28,205
Can you stop filming me, please?
612
00:32:32,118 --> 00:32:34,953
♪ But you got something I need... ♪
613
00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:38,373
It's an elephant in sheep's clothing.
614
00:32:38,374 --> 00:32:40,375
Oh, bless. It kind of suits him.
615
00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:43,587
- Just, please, sort this out, OK?
(Luke groans)
616
00:32:43,588 --> 00:32:46,055
And, Graham, shave off that
bloody Hitler moustache
617
00:32:46,056 --> 00:32:47,675
or you're not coming to the wedding.
618
00:32:47,676 --> 00:32:49,801
- Seriously?
- Yes, seriously.
619
00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:51,136
(Bleats)
620
00:32:51,137 --> 00:32:53,013
♪ You got something for me?
621
00:32:53,014 --> 00:32:56,808
♪ Oh, I got a brand-new
pair of roller skates
622
00:32:56,809 --> 00:32:59,019
♪ You got a brand-new key... ♪
623
00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:01,148
(Gargles)
624
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,357
Hi, Sarah, it's Luke.
625
00:33:04,358 --> 00:33:06,693
Four in the morning? Oh, I'm sorry.
626
00:33:06,694 --> 00:33:09,362
♪ Don't go too fast
627
00:33:09,363 --> 00:33:11,698
♪ But I go pretty far... ♪
628
00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:14,618
Tom, shouldn't you put some clothes
on while you're doing that?
629
00:33:14,619 --> 00:33:16,917
- You think he wants to see you naked?
- He's naked.
630
00:33:16,918 --> 00:33:19,581
- Don't be so repressed, Graham.
- I'm not repressed, Tom.
631
00:33:19,582 --> 00:33:22,334
I just don't want to see your
knob first thing in the morning.
632
00:33:22,335 --> 00:33:24,463
- I already feel sick.
- Yeah, sick with envy.
633
00:33:24,464 --> 00:33:29,341
♪ Oh, yeah
634
00:33:29,342 --> 00:33:31,426
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
635
00:33:31,427 --> 00:33:35,222
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪
636
00:33:35,223 --> 00:33:37,349
Look, it's totally understandable,
Graham,
637
00:33:37,350 --> 00:33:39,148
for you to wish
you had a body like mine.
638
00:33:39,149 --> 00:33:41,811
Oh, yeah, I really wish I looked
like a big ginger spider.
639
00:33:41,812 --> 00:33:44,314
I've got a low centre of
gravity which is quite handy
640
00:33:44,315 --> 00:33:47,067
when you're playing sports
like football and stuff bec...
641
00:33:47,068 --> 00:33:48,818
(Gasps) (Music stops)
642
00:33:48,819 --> 00:33:50,696
(Whimpers)
643
00:33:52,740 --> 00:33:55,784
- Tom. Tom.
- What's the matter?
644
00:33:55,785 --> 00:33:58,584
I think I must have picked
it up from Ray's by mistake.
645
00:34:00,581 --> 00:34:02,791
Are you completely fucked
in the head, Graham?
646
00:34:02,792 --> 00:34:04,758
You don't steal drugs
from a guy like Ray.
647
00:34:04,759 --> 00:34:06,720
I didn't steal it, Tom,
it was an accident.
648
00:34:06,721 --> 00:34:09,381
What kind of a bell end takes
a bag of cocaine by accident?
649
00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:11,091
GRAHAM: Oh, my God.
650
00:34:11,092 --> 00:34:14,594
We're dead. He's gonna beat
us to death with the iron.
651
00:34:14,595 --> 00:34:16,846
What do you mean, we? I
didn't steal his stash.
652
00:34:16,847 --> 00:34:21,017
Well, he's your dealer. I didn't
wanna go there in the first place!
653
00:34:21,018 --> 00:34:23,395
Oh, my God, Tom.
654
00:34:23,396 --> 00:34:25,114
- You have to take it back.
- What?
655
00:34:28,317 --> 00:34:30,986
- You alright, mate?
- I'm fine, yeah.
656
00:34:30,987 --> 00:34:33,572
- Sorted out that sheep yet?
- Pretty much, yeah.
657
00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:36,783
Good. I can't afford any
fuck-ups today, OK?
658
00:34:36,784 --> 00:34:40,787
Yeah, uh, talking about that, I think
me and Graham might need to nip off
659
00:34:40,788 --> 00:34:42,330
just for an hour or so.
660
00:34:42,331 --> 00:34:44,800
- What?
- We got something we need to do...
661
00:34:44,801 --> 00:34:47,502
If you leave me today, I swear
I'll never speak to you again.
662
00:34:47,503 --> 00:34:49,380
- Do you understand?
- Yeah, no problem.
663
00:34:52,967 --> 00:34:54,560
You look great.
664
00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:56,853
(sighs)
665
00:34:59,974 --> 00:35:01,600
- Well?
- It's a no-go.
666
00:35:01,601 --> 00:35:02,642
Oh...
667
00:35:02,643 --> 00:35:04,936
We'll have to take it
back first thing tomorrow
668
00:35:04,937 --> 00:35:07,230
and explain what happened.
Ray'll understand.
669
00:35:07,231 --> 00:35:10,025
- He's a reasonable man.
- He's a very unreasonable man, Tom!
670
00:35:10,026 --> 00:35:12,736
Did you hear what he said about
smashing people's kneecaps
671
00:35:12,737 --> 00:35:14,237
with household appliances?
672
00:35:14,238 --> 00:35:18,658
Shut up! Does that look like
reasonable behaviour to you, Tom?
673
00:35:18,659 --> 00:35:21,244
- Not what you're showing me, no.
- You should call him.
674
00:35:21,245 --> 00:35:24,414
- Fuck off!
- Just say we'll bring the bag tomorrow.
675
00:35:24,415 --> 00:35:26,838
Why don't you give him a call?
You're the one he likes.
676
00:35:26,839 --> 00:35:30,008
Because I'll fuck it up. You know I will.
I'll say something stupid.
677
00:35:31,756 --> 00:35:33,599
You're such a pain in the arse!
678
00:35:35,718 --> 00:35:37,886
- Got no reception.
- Please try.
679
00:35:37,887 --> 00:35:39,596
You owe me for this.
680
00:35:39,597 --> 00:35:41,181
♪ Ooh la la la
681
00:35:41,182 --> 00:35:44,809
♪ Oh, I've got a brand-new
pair of roller skates
682
00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:48,155
♪ You got a brand-new key. ♪
683
00:35:50,107 --> 00:35:53,568
Ah, you look like a really
beautiful meringue.
684
00:35:53,569 --> 00:35:55,788
(Laughs) Don't make me
laugh, I can't breathe.
685
00:35:57,782 --> 00:36:01,576
- Something old.
- Oh, Mum, not your lucky coin.
686
00:36:01,577 --> 00:36:03,170
BARBARA: You might need it.
687
00:36:04,163 --> 00:36:07,457
Hello, Ray?
Yeah, it's terrible reception.
688
00:36:07,458 --> 00:36:09,881
- It's an answering machine.
- Leave a message.
689
00:36:09,882 --> 00:36:12,462
- Can you just step back a bit?
PHONE: ..after the beep.
690
00:36:12,463 --> 00:36:14,589
Yeah, hi, Ray. It's Tom and Graham.
691
00:36:14,590 --> 00:36:17,175
Listen, we hate to tell you
this but we've got your coke.
692
00:36:17,176 --> 00:36:19,678
- Tell him it was a mistake.
- It was a mistake of course.
693
00:36:19,679 --> 00:36:21,773
- And we'll bring it back tomorrow.
- Shut up.
694
00:36:21,774 --> 00:36:23,306
- Alright.
- Not you, Ray.
695
00:36:23,307 --> 00:36:25,392
That was Graham
being a shithead as usual.
696
00:36:25,393 --> 00:36:28,311
Anyway, we're really sorry, man.
We'll bring it back tomorrow.
697
00:36:28,312 --> 00:36:30,735
- And hope we haven't caused any...
- Inconvenience.
698
00:36:30,736 --> 00:36:32,859
..inconvenience
and have a great weekend.
699
00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:36,653
(Sighs) There, done.
700
00:36:36,654 --> 00:36:38,321
(Sighs) Cheers, mate.
701
00:36:38,322 --> 00:36:40,450
Now get dressed quickly,
we're gonna be late.
702
00:36:41,826 --> 00:36:45,251
My wedding suit. I left
it in the bag at Ray's.
703
00:36:52,503 --> 00:36:54,254
Oh, spoiled for choice.
704
00:36:54,255 --> 00:36:56,673
REPORTER: Political king maker
Jim Ramme
705
00:36:56,674 --> 00:37:00,009
negotiates a different kind
of coalition today ...
706
00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:03,888
the wedding of his daughter Mia,
or should that be Princess Mia,
707
00:37:03,889 --> 00:37:06,099
to David Locking.
708
00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:07,943
How's that? Crap?
709
00:37:16,819 --> 00:37:20,447
♪ This morning
I woke up with this feeling
710
00:37:20,448 --> 00:37:23,074
♪ I didn't know how to deal with
711
00:37:23,075 --> 00:37:26,870
♪ So I just decided to myself... ♪
712
00:37:26,871 --> 00:37:29,664
Borrow some ugg boots if you're
getting cold feet, Dave.
713
00:37:29,665 --> 00:37:32,667
Oh, Jim. Not at all.
714
00:37:32,668 --> 00:37:35,253
There's only one person you
got to impress here today.
715
00:37:35,254 --> 00:37:37,839
- I know, Mi...
- Eddie Marshall.
716
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,466
Chief Party Whip.
717
00:37:39,467 --> 00:37:42,886
He's the last man standing between you
and your surprise wedding present.
718
00:37:42,887 --> 00:37:44,596
So why don't you slide over there
719
00:37:44,597 --> 00:37:47,476
and dazzle him with some of
your cheeky English charm?
720
00:37:49,852 --> 00:37:51,354
(Belch)
721
00:38:00,821 --> 00:38:03,072
- Hey, Luke.
- David.
722
00:38:03,073 --> 00:38:04,866
- You...
- (Clears throat)
723
00:38:04,867 --> 00:38:06,951
- ..doing OK?
- Yeah, I'm doing fine.
724
00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:08,912
I'm really, really good.
725
00:38:08,913 --> 00:38:11,206
Never better.
726
00:38:11,207 --> 00:38:13,666
- Did you call Sarah again?
- Yeah.
727
00:38:13,667 --> 00:38:18,046
Uh, she said that she hates my guts
and that she wishes I were dead.
728
00:38:18,047 --> 00:38:19,672
Jesus, Luke.
729
00:38:19,673 --> 00:38:21,925
Look, Dave, please, come
on, look, it's fine.
730
00:38:21,926 --> 00:38:22,973
OK.
731
00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:29,098
You look like my Uncle Reggie
who's dead.
732
00:38:29,099 --> 00:38:31,476
Great! I look like a total idiot.
733
00:38:31,477 --> 00:38:33,853
Look at these sleeves, they're too long!
734
00:38:33,854 --> 00:38:36,152
- Just keep your arms by your side.
- What, all day?
735
00:38:36,153 --> 00:38:37,690
I'll look like a fucking penguin.
736
00:38:37,691 --> 00:38:40,112
Oh, these are the itchiest
trousers I've ever worn.
737
00:38:40,113 --> 00:38:41,612
Seriously, it's unbearable.
738
00:38:41,613 --> 00:38:45,114
You're lucky you have any trousers at all.
Now, stop scratching your balls.
739
00:38:45,115 --> 00:38:46,867
Speaker of the House, Marion Bowers.
740
00:38:46,868 --> 00:38:49,244
And my old mate,
Commissioner Leo Marinetti.
741
00:38:49,245 --> 00:38:52,080
Commissioner Marinetti.
Nice to meet you all.
742
00:38:52,081 --> 00:38:55,667
- Any of your family joining you, David?
BARBARA: David lost his family.
743
00:38:55,668 --> 00:38:58,253
- But he has us now.
JIM: Well, almost.
744
00:38:58,254 --> 00:39:01,548
So we'll count his friends
as family until then.
745
00:39:01,549 --> 00:39:03,883
It's a very important thing, family.
746
00:39:03,884 --> 00:39:06,261
- You need to appreciate them.
- Yeah.
747
00:39:06,262 --> 00:39:09,264
Even when the maid of honour
turns into the best man?
748
00:39:09,265 --> 00:39:10,723
DAPHNE: Ouch.
749
00:39:10,724 --> 00:39:12,647
COMMISSIONER:
That's families for you.
750
00:39:12,648 --> 00:39:15,895
When they're no longer around to drive
you bonkers, you wish they were.
751
00:39:15,896 --> 00:39:18,231
But by then it's too late.
752
00:39:18,232 --> 00:39:20,275
All you're left with are regrets
753
00:39:20,276 --> 00:39:22,360
Memories.
754
00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:24,112
Wasted years.
755
00:39:24,113 --> 00:39:26,489
Excuse me a minute.
756
00:39:26,490 --> 00:39:27,907
I look bloody mental!
757
00:39:27,908 --> 00:39:31,119
What kind of grenade takes his
luggage into a drug dealer's anyway?
758
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,162
Tom! You made us go there
in the first place!
759
00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:34,789
Excuse me. Graham!
760
00:39:34,790 --> 00:39:38,585
- What the hell are you wearing?
- I forgot my suit, had to borrow this.
761
00:39:38,586 --> 00:39:41,045
♪ VIVALDI: La Primavera
762
00:39:41,046 --> 00:39:42,889
- Oh, God, this is it.
- Bloody hell.
763
00:39:42,890 --> 00:39:46,885
Before I forget, Tom, my
wedding present for Mia.
764
00:39:46,886 --> 00:39:48,684
What, a mobile phone? That's romantic.
765
00:39:48,685 --> 00:39:51,264
A video. Just before my speech,
plug it into the monitor,
766
00:39:51,265 --> 00:39:52,765
hit play when I give the word.
767
00:39:52,766 --> 00:39:54,814
- Got it.
- You got that sheep back, yeah?
768
00:39:54,815 --> 00:39:56,477
Oh, no! l forgot.
769
00:39:56,478 --> 00:39:58,856
- How did you forget?
- There's a lot going on, David.
770
00:39:58,857 --> 00:40:01,774
Just make sure you deal with it
straight after the ceremony, OK?
771
00:40:01,775 --> 00:40:04,235
(Luke laughs)
772
00:40:04,236 --> 00:40:06,738
- Oh, Jesus, we've lost Luke.
- Oh, God.
773
00:40:06,739 --> 00:40:09,282
(Luke laughs hysterically)
- What the fuck is he doing?
774
00:40:09,283 --> 00:40:12,118
Alright, we'll deal with him.
Graham, stick him in the car.
775
00:40:12,119 --> 00:40:14,042
- What? Why me?
- I'm taking care of David.
776
00:40:14,043 --> 00:40:15,460
(sighs)
777
00:40:21,045 --> 00:40:23,673
- Let's do this.
- Right behind you, brother.
778
00:40:25,424 --> 00:40:27,884
(Luke laughs)
- What are you doing?
779
00:40:27,885 --> 00:40:29,469
Ah!
780
00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:32,314
Jesus, Luke!
How much have you drunk?
781
00:40:41,065 --> 00:40:42,440
(Plays violin)
782
00:40:42,441 --> 00:40:44,442
- Here you go, the ring.
DAVID: Thanks.
783
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:47,445
(Camera clicks)
784
00:40:47,446 --> 00:40:49,665
♪ Pachelbel's Canon
785
00:41:07,549 --> 00:41:10,393
♪ The Wedding March
786
00:41:12,429 --> 00:41:14,227
Here we go.
787
00:41:36,245 --> 00:41:38,293
(Daphne plays violin very badly)
788
00:41:41,417 --> 00:41:43,340
(clapping)
789
00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:49,674
Dearly beloved, when someone puts
a ring on the finger of another,
790
00:41:49,675 --> 00:41:52,969
they pronounce, Now you are mine
791
00:41:52,970 --> 00:41:56,889
That act of possession
removes mystery
792
00:41:56,890 --> 00:42:00,268
and marks the end of a
relationship, not the beginning,
793
00:42:00,269 --> 00:42:05,398
because real wisdom does
not try to own love,
794
00:42:05,399 --> 00:42:07,734
doesn't try to control it
795
00:42:07,735 --> 00:42:10,945
but simply stands in awe and says,
796
00:42:10,946 --> 00:42:13,870
I love you
797
00:42:17,244 --> 00:42:19,292
♪ Rock music
798
00:42:20,789 --> 00:42:24,168
David, please place the
ring on Mia's finger.
799
00:42:25,294 --> 00:42:28,212
♪ Rock music
800
00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:30,762
Mia, please place the
ring on David's finger.
801
00:42:32,092 --> 00:42:33,719
♪ Rock music
802
00:42:34,887 --> 00:42:38,723
Mia, do you take this man to be
your lawful wedded husband...
803
00:42:38,724 --> 00:42:40,183
♪ Rock music
804
00:42:40,184 --> 00:42:41,809
..to have and to hold...
805
00:42:41,810 --> 00:42:43,227
♪ Rock music
806
00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:44,650
..in sickness and in health...
807
00:42:44,651 --> 00:42:45,813
♪ Rock music
808
00:42:45,814 --> 00:42:47,361
- ..till death do you part?
- I do.
809
00:42:47,362 --> 00:42:49,405
♪ Rock music
810
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:53,571
And, David, do you take this woman
811
00:42:53,572 --> 00:42:55,495
to be your lawful wedded wife...
812
00:42:58,118 --> 00:42:59,911
..to have and to hold...
813
00:42:59,912 --> 00:43:01,454
Ah!
814
00:43:01,455 --> 00:43:03,206
..in sickness and in health
815
00:43:03,207 --> 00:43:05,291
till death do you part?
816
00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:06,834
I do.
817
00:43:06,835 --> 00:43:08,087
GUESTS: Ooh! Oof!
818
00:43:08,088 --> 00:43:09,796
By the power vested in me,
819
00:43:09,797 --> 00:43:13,466
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
820
00:43:13,467 --> 00:43:16,260
- You may now kiss the bride.
- Ball!
821
00:43:16,261 --> 00:43:18,221
Massive ball!
822
00:43:18,222 --> 00:43:20,350
(Screaming)
823
00:43:30,567 --> 00:43:34,612
JIM: Well, I promised you a
ball and boy, didn't I deliver?
824
00:43:34,613 --> 00:43:37,615
So, into the marquee. Uh,
put your drinks on my tab.
825
00:43:37,616 --> 00:43:40,201
Let's get this Liberal Party started,
eh?
826
00:43:40,202 --> 00:43:41,786
Are you OK?
827
00:43:41,787 --> 00:43:44,831
Two feet to the right and Eddie
Marshall would have been flattened
828
00:43:44,832 --> 00:43:46,374
by a runaway flower arrangement.
829
00:43:46,375 --> 00:43:48,171
He always comes up smelling of roses!
830
00:43:48,172 --> 00:43:49,340
That is not helping!
831
00:43:49,341 --> 00:43:52,421
- It's probably just a sprain.
- Mia, I am so sorry.
832
00:43:52,422 --> 00:43:55,216
David, don't worry about it, honestly.
833
00:43:55,217 --> 00:43:58,219
Look on the bright side, we'll
probably be a YouTube sensation.
834
00:43:58,220 --> 00:43:59,387
Great!
835
00:43:59,388 --> 00:44:01,430
- Oh, easy, easy, easy.
- Mine, it's mine.
836
00:44:01,431 --> 00:44:02,473
Luke!
837
00:44:02,474 --> 00:44:04,851
- We're almost there.
- (Clears throat)
838
00:44:04,852 --> 00:44:07,061
Uh, Jim.
839
00:44:07,062 --> 00:44:11,023
- I am so, so sorry.
- For what?
840
00:44:11,024 --> 00:44:14,026
Your best man playing skittles
with the Australian parliament?
841
00:44:14,027 --> 00:44:17,281
You had better go and tell your mates
to pull their thick heads in, Dave.
842
00:44:21,785 --> 00:44:23,002
Eddie!
843
00:44:25,789 --> 00:44:29,375
Aah! So sorry, man. Don't
know what happened.
844
00:44:29,376 --> 00:44:32,211
You drank three bottles of
champagne, that's what happened.
845
00:44:32,212 --> 00:44:34,255
I was loosening up for
the best man's speech
846
00:44:34,256 --> 00:44:36,132
which is under control.
847
00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:39,218
(Reads) By the way, congratulations
to David and Mia...
848
00:44:39,219 --> 00:44:40,845
OK, you don't have to do it now.
849
00:44:40,846 --> 00:44:42,597
I'm so glad that you found a woman
850
00:44:42,598 --> 00:44:45,308
- Don't peak too early.
- Told you it should have been me.
851
00:44:45,309 --> 00:44:47,152
(Reads) ..acting like a filthy whore.
852
00:44:47,153 --> 00:44:49,238
That was rubbish.
853
00:44:50,564 --> 00:44:52,481
(Sighs) My God, they must hate me.
854
00:44:52,482 --> 00:44:54,609
TOM: Of course they don't hate you.
Who could?
855
00:44:54,610 --> 00:44:56,203
GRAHAM: Shit.
856
00:44:57,196 --> 00:45:00,031
Whoa, leave her alone, leave her alone.
Put her down.
857
00:45:00,032 --> 00:45:02,501
We're gonna need to rethink
the best man's speech.
858
00:45:02,502 --> 00:45:04,244
I'll take care of it.
859
00:45:05,787 --> 00:45:07,788
Stop it. Sony.
860
00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:11,000
♪ Love
861
00:45:11,001 --> 00:45:15,051
♪ Exciting and new
862
00:45:16,048 --> 00:45:17,846
♪ Come aboard
863
00:45:19,593 --> 00:45:21,135
♪ We're expecting
864
00:45:21,136 --> 00:45:23,059
Sorry, I've got really itchy trousers.
865
00:45:23,060 --> 00:45:25,806
Oh, you can play with your balls
till you're blue in the face,
866
00:45:25,807 --> 00:45:27,024
it doesn't bother me.
867
00:45:28,602 --> 00:45:30,853
- I really like your outfit.
- You do?
868
00:45:30,854 --> 00:45:34,028
It's a really nice... outfit.
869
00:45:35,442 --> 00:45:37,485
Yeah, well, I wasn't gonna wear a dress.
870
00:45:37,486 --> 00:45:40,446
Even if these pants do
ride up my bum crack.
871
00:45:40,447 --> 00:45:42,907
Here you are, mate...
872
00:45:42,908 --> 00:45:44,617
Well, I'd happily swap, you know.
873
00:45:44,618 --> 00:45:47,828
I'll wear those trousers and
you can wear the itchy...
874
00:45:47,829 --> 00:45:50,665
- Listen, can I borrow you for a second?
- Yeah, sure.
875
00:45:50,666 --> 00:45:53,000
- This is Daphne, Mia's sister.
- Hi, Dorothy.
876
00:45:53,001 --> 00:45:54,877
You can have him back in a minute.
877
00:45:54,878 --> 00:45:58,839
Wait, Tom, did you have to drag me away like that?
I was doing really well.
878
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,592
Come on now, it's never gonna happen.
879
00:46:00,593 --> 00:46:02,051
Why not?
880
00:46:02,052 --> 00:46:04,053
For one thing, you're
in an old man's suit.
881
00:46:04,054 --> 00:46:05,721
Plus, she's a lesbian.
882
00:46:05,722 --> 00:46:07,807
Yeah? Well, I thought
maybe I could turn her.
883
00:46:07,808 --> 00:46:11,227
Don't be ridiculous. You won't turn a muff-muncher.
Even I'd find it hard.
884
00:46:11,228 --> 00:46:14,605
Listen, you're gonna have to take
care of the best man's speech.
885
00:46:14,606 --> 00:46:16,816
- Right.
- Great.
886
00:46:16,817 --> 00:46:19,193
Sorry, what do you mean by
‘take care of the speech‘?
887
00:46:19,194 --> 00:46:21,572
You have to do the speech,
they'll call you in five.
888
00:46:21,573 --> 00:46:23,030
- Right.
- Good.
889
00:46:23,031 --> 00:46:24,783
- Sorry, one quick question.
- What?
890
00:46:24,784 --> 00:46:28,035
Are you out of your fucking mind? A
speech in front of all these people?
891
00:46:28,036 --> 00:46:30,830
- I don't have my material.
- I thought you wanted this!
892
00:46:30,831 --> 00:46:32,957
I don't want it thrust on
me at the last minute!
893
00:46:32,958 --> 00:46:35,042
- Just make something up!
- I can't, Tom.
894
00:46:35,043 --> 00:46:37,214
- You make something up.
- Listen to me, Graham.
895
00:46:37,215 --> 00:46:39,214
David needs you,
this is his wedding day.
896
00:46:39,215 --> 00:46:42,216
So step up and take some
responsibility for once in your life.
897
00:46:42,217 --> 00:46:46,637
I'm the one who called Ray, you're
the one who's doing the speech.
898
00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:49,266
And don't worry, I'll give you a hand.
899
00:46:51,393 --> 00:46:53,436
I didn't ruin your wedding day, did I?
900
00:46:53,437 --> 00:46:56,605
- Well...
- You know I love you so much, dude.
901
00:46:56,606 --> 00:46:58,153
Love you too.
902
00:46:59,568 --> 00:47:03,529
You know, if you had a vagina,
I'd probably have sex with you.
903
00:47:03,530 --> 00:47:06,741
Actually, I think I'd have sex with
you even if you didn't have a 'gina
904
00:47:06,742 --> 00:47:09,410
just to show you what a good
friend I think you are.
905
00:47:09,411 --> 00:47:13,205
That won't be necessary,
but good to know.
906
00:47:13,206 --> 00:47:15,083
Now go to bed and sleep it off, OK?
907
00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:21,589
(sighs)
908
00:47:21,590 --> 00:47:23,638
(Bleating)
909
00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:29,221
- I... don't know what to say.
- Stop.
910
00:47:29,222 --> 00:47:31,850
We did it. We're married.
911
00:47:37,189 --> 00:47:40,316
I thought the best thing that's ever
happened to me was about to be...
912
00:47:40,317 --> 00:47:41,859
Bowled off a cliff?
913
00:47:41,860 --> 00:47:43,703
I don't ever want to lose you, Mia.
914
00:47:43,704 --> 00:47:45,780
Ah, you got me on a beach in Tuvalu.
915
00:47:45,781 --> 00:47:48,449
And guess what,
now you're stuck with me.
916
00:47:48,450 --> 00:47:54,413
Ladies and gentlemen, please vote
one for Mia and Dave Locking-Ramme.
917
00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:56,916
(clapping)
918
00:47:56,917 --> 00:47:58,965
Mr Locking.
919
00:48:00,212 --> 00:48:01,712
Mrs Locking.
920
00:48:01,713 --> 00:48:03,135
Shall we?
921
00:48:05,258 --> 00:48:08,228
♪ The Wedding March
922
00:48:09,805 --> 00:48:12,807
The rest of the day is gonna
be perfect, I promise you.
923
00:48:12,808 --> 00:48:15,059
I'll get it, Ray. I swear,
just a few more days.
924
00:48:15,060 --> 00:48:17,603
RAY: What do you think
I am, a bloody clown?
925
00:48:17,604 --> 00:48:20,606
Eh? Do I look like a clown? Do I?
926
00:48:20,607 --> 00:48:22,400
- Excuse me, Ray.
- What?
927
00:48:22,401 --> 00:48:24,485
There's a message on
the answering machine.
928
00:48:24,486 --> 00:48:26,033
I think you might wanna hear it.
929
00:48:28,031 --> 00:48:29,997
MACHINE: Hi, Ray. It's
Tom and Graham...
930
00:48:29,998 --> 00:48:31,038
(Static)
931
00:48:31,039 --> 00:48:32,743
We hate... you.
932
00:48:32,744 --> 00:48:34,495
(Static)
933
00:48:34,496 --> 00:48:37,164
We've got your coke...
shithead. (Static)
934
00:48:37,165 --> 00:48:39,008
Have a great weekend.
935
00:48:46,216 --> 00:48:48,342
Fuck! Fuck!
936
00:48:48,343 --> 00:48:52,054
He's stolen my drugs! He's
stolen my bloody drugs!
937
00:48:52,055 --> 00:48:54,598
I trusted the little bastard!
938
00:48:54,599 --> 00:48:57,184
You little prick!
I'm gonna string him up!
939
00:48:57,185 --> 00:48:59,562
I'm gonna hang him up
by the fucking balls!
940
00:48:59,563 --> 00:49:02,982
Ray, it's a wedding invitation.
941
00:49:02,983 --> 00:49:05,236
Get the fucking keys.
942
00:49:06,570 --> 00:49:09,613
Can't believe it. I can't
believe I agreed to do this.
943
00:49:09,614 --> 00:49:11,824
What am I gonna say?
944
00:49:11,825 --> 00:49:15,536
Why not say something about how we're
surprised David's getting married
945
00:49:15,537 --> 00:49:18,289
because when we first met him,
we totally assumed he was gay?
946
00:49:18,290 --> 00:49:20,166
Oh, yeah, yeah, good one.
947
00:49:20,167 --> 00:49:22,668
It's a best man's speech,
it's supposed to be funny.
948
00:49:22,669 --> 00:49:26,046
Have you been out there? I don't think
that's the right audience for this.
949
00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:27,298
They are.
950
00:49:27,299 --> 00:49:30,801
What if I say something about Australia
being England's old penal colony?
951
00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:33,225
You know, something like
that, something relevant.
952
00:49:33,226 --> 00:49:36,599
Why not throw in they're a nation of
in-bred pointy-headed sheep fuckers
953
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,100
who think culture is yoghurt?
954
00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:40,604
Well, if you're so good,
let's see what you've done.
955
00:49:42,189 --> 00:49:45,024
- Oh, great, you've drawn some tits!
- (Laughs)
956
00:49:45,025 --> 00:49:47,193
Thanks, Tom! You're
supposed to be helping me!
957
00:49:47,194 --> 00:49:50,029
I am helping you! I told
you to do the gay thing.
958
00:49:50,030 --> 00:49:51,614
I'm not doing the gay thing.
959
00:49:51,615 --> 00:49:54,158
♪ Then I knew ♪ I knew,
I knew, I knew, I knew
960
00:49:54,159 --> 00:49:56,753
♪ She could make me happy... ♪
961
00:49:59,372 --> 00:50:01,207
- Jim.
- Yes, dear.
962
00:50:01,208 --> 00:50:03,631
What is Eddie Marshall
doing at the bridal table?
963
00:50:05,212 --> 00:50:07,379
That's odd, there must
be some sort of mistake.
964
00:50:07,380 --> 00:50:11,260
Maureen doesn't make mistakes.
Last chance to come clean, dear.
965
00:50:12,594 --> 00:50:15,638
You know how you're always going
on about me never being home?
966
00:50:15,639 --> 00:50:20,059
- When do I go on about it?
- Well, I'm retiring.
967
00:50:20,060 --> 00:50:22,228
That's right, I'm going
to throw in the towel.
968
00:50:22,229 --> 00:50:24,813
And with Eddie's blessing, I'm
gonna give my seat to Mia.
969
00:50:24,814 --> 00:50:26,566
Is that what Mia wants?
970
00:50:27,817 --> 00:50:30,486
- Have you even asked her?
- I don't have to.
971
00:50:30,487 --> 00:50:32,114
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
972
00:50:32,115 --> 00:50:34,281
It's a surprise -
my wedding present.
973
00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:36,501
It's not your wedding, Jim!
974
00:50:39,371 --> 00:50:40,955
(Grunts in anger)
975
00:50:40,956 --> 00:50:42,833
Such a lovely day to be here today.
976
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:48,087
It's such a lovely day to be here... Oh, Christ!
I'm getting the jitters.
977
00:50:48,088 --> 00:50:49,965
Don't think
I can go through with this.
978
00:50:49,966 --> 00:50:51,512
Yeah, thought this might happen.
979
00:50:53,593 --> 00:50:56,303
- Is that Ray's coke?
- It's just one, he'll never notice.
980
00:50:56,304 --> 00:50:59,223
Are you off your nut?! We've
got to give it all back!
981
00:50:59,224 --> 00:51:02,059
I've got to do a speech!
I can't do drugs!
982
00:51:02,060 --> 00:51:05,729
What shit are you talking, Graham? This
will give you a bit of confidence.
983
00:51:05,730 --> 00:51:07,607
- Really?
- Absolutely. Come on.
984
00:51:17,993 --> 00:51:19,493
Isn't that a bit much?
985
00:51:19,494 --> 00:51:21,963
You need to do a lot otherwise
it won't have an impact.
986
00:51:21,964 --> 00:51:23,628
Come on, before someone comes.
987
00:51:27,377 --> 00:51:30,671
- Good afternoon, Barbara.
- What in the hell is going on?
988
00:51:30,672 --> 00:51:33,841
Uh, we just... We, um...
989
00:51:33,842 --> 00:51:35,389
Is that cocaine?
990
00:51:37,220 --> 00:51:38,554
Yeah.
991
00:51:38,555 --> 00:51:42,480
Well, don't just stand there gawping.
Line ‘em up!
992
00:51:49,357 --> 00:51:53,193
You could desalinate your soil by
replacing wheat with mallee scrub
993
00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:56,864
and that'll earn you big CER
bucks into the UN trade subsidy.
994
00:51:56,865 --> 00:51:58,574
Excuse me.
995
00:51:58,575 --> 00:52:02,202
- David.
- Wow. That sounded impressive.
996
00:52:02,203 --> 00:52:04,747
Four years of political
science will do that to you.
997
00:52:04,748 --> 00:52:08,834
- I thought you did sociology.
- No, majored in Conflict Resolution.
998
00:52:08,835 --> 00:52:10,878
Very useful in my family.
999
00:52:10,879 --> 00:52:13,631
And your psychology degree
is going to come in handy.
1000
00:52:13,632 --> 00:52:15,841
- Physics.
- What?
1001
00:52:15,842 --> 00:52:19,847
- I did physics.
- Oh. Of course you did.
1002
00:52:22,807 --> 00:52:25,434
Oh, I knew he wasn't
going to let go easily
1003
00:52:25,435 --> 00:52:28,228
but this one really takes the biscuit.
1004
00:52:28,229 --> 00:52:31,106
Gotta say, didn't have you
pegged as a party girl, Barbara.
1005
00:52:31,107 --> 00:52:33,025
Oh, last couple on the dance floor
1006
00:52:33,026 --> 00:52:35,402
until Jim became
this right-wing maniac.
1007
00:52:35,403 --> 00:52:37,446
Now look at him - retiring!
1008
00:52:37,447 --> 00:52:40,032
Giving up his seat for his daughter.
1009
00:52:40,033 --> 00:52:42,201
Try forcing it down her throat
1010
00:52:42,202 --> 00:52:44,703
You can mess with me -
that's one thing...
1011
00:52:44,704 --> 00:52:46,246
but mess with my kids?
1012
00:52:46,247 --> 00:52:48,040
No way, Jose, that's it!
1013
00:52:48,041 --> 00:52:49,833
End of the road!
1014
00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:52,961
- Your turn, Graham.
- I'm alright, thanks.
1015
00:52:52,962 --> 00:52:55,214
Don't be such a wuss.
1016
00:52:55,215 --> 00:52:57,843
Meow! Meow! Don't be
such a pussy, come on.
1017
00:52:59,803 --> 00:53:02,304
- (Laughs) Pussy.
- (Barbara meows)
1018
00:53:02,305 --> 00:53:05,057
♪ Howzat? ♪
1019
00:53:05,058 --> 00:53:06,767
Eddie's going cold.
1020
00:53:06,768 --> 00:53:09,728
Christ! Now what do we do?
Barbara's gone AWOL.
1021
00:53:09,729 --> 00:53:13,404
Right! Now I'm really
going to enjoy myself.
1022
00:53:20,990 --> 00:53:22,492
(Laughs)
1023
00:53:23,785 --> 00:53:27,037
It'd be quite bad, wouldn't it, to
try and shag David's mother-in-law?
1024
00:53:27,038 --> 00:53:30,207
Of course it bloody would.
Shit, that coke‘s strong!
1025
00:53:30,208 --> 00:53:32,209
- Completely fucked.
- I know.
1026
00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:35,629
- I'm really wired.
- You told me to have loads.
1027
00:53:35,630 --> 00:53:38,850
I think I may have been a bit gung-ho.
1028
00:53:44,013 --> 00:53:48,439
So, Eddie, has your third
wife left you yet?
1029
00:53:50,228 --> 00:53:52,813
Ladies and gentlemen, would
you please take your seats?
1030
00:53:52,814 --> 00:53:54,606
GRAHAM: I can't feel my face.
1031
00:53:54,607 --> 00:53:58,485
..best man's toast to be
delivered by... Graham.
1032
00:53:58,486 --> 00:54:00,487
(Clapping)
- What?
1033
00:54:00,488 --> 00:54:02,490
Fuck! I'm not ready, Tom.
1034
00:54:06,661 --> 00:54:09,246
Have you got the speech?
1035
00:54:09,247 --> 00:54:10,749
Thanks.
1036
00:54:21,885 --> 00:54:23,683
(Silence)
1037
00:54:28,099 --> 00:54:30,267
Tits?
1038
00:54:30,268 --> 00:54:31,861
Tits.
1039
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:34,897
Tits...
1040
00:54:34,898 --> 00:54:37,024
'Tis a wonderful occasion.
1041
00:54:37,025 --> 00:54:42,404
Uh, I must admit I was a bit worried
about coming to Australia at first.
1042
00:54:42,405 --> 00:54:45,454
It being the country we sent all
our criminals to and everything.
1043
00:54:47,076 --> 00:54:51,497
But Australia is no longer
just a penal colony
1044
00:54:51,498 --> 00:54:53,916
for England's rapists and murderers.
1045
00:54:53,917 --> 00:54:57,419
No, it's now a country in its own right.
1046
00:54:57,420 --> 00:55:01,673
Or at least it was since you lot stole
all the land off the Aborigines.
1047
00:55:01,674 --> 00:55:03,472
(Silence)
1048
00:55:08,097 --> 00:55:11,850
Uh, I think I can speak
on behalf of all of us
1049
00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:17,397
when I say that I'm very pleased
to hear that David's now married
1050
00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:21,448
especially since at first we all
thought he was a homosexual.
1051
00:55:22,904 --> 00:55:24,404
Homosexual.
1052
00:55:24,405 --> 00:55:26,782
(Barbara chuckles)
1053
00:55:26,783 --> 00:55:30,285
But hopefully, Mia, you haven't
just married one of those gays
1054
00:55:30,286 --> 00:55:31,787
that's in denial for years
1055
00:55:31,788 --> 00:55:34,832
and then you come home and find
him in bed shagging another man.
1056
00:55:34,833 --> 00:55:40,087
Uh, but don't worry, Mia, there
are signs to look out for,
1057
00:55:40,088 --> 00:55:43,173
like anal sex.
1058
00:55:43,174 --> 00:55:45,592
(Silence, stunned gasps)
1059
00:55:45,593 --> 00:55:48,011
Apparently, if he's
excessively into anal sex,
1060
00:55:48,012 --> 00:55:52,233
then that's a sign, so
look out for that one.
1061
00:55:56,062 --> 00:55:59,857
Um, I mean, it's fair enough if
it's just occasional, you know
1062
00:55:59,858 --> 00:56:01,576
I mean, I'm sure that you've tried it.
1063
00:56:01,577 --> 00:56:05,445
Most couples try it, don't
they, at some point?
1064
00:56:05,446 --> 00:56:09,449
Uh, just... If you haven't tried it and
you are gonna try it this evening,
1065
00:56:09,450 --> 00:56:12,160
then just go easy on each
other, don't whack it up dry,
1066
00:56:12,161 --> 00:56:14,371
use some butter from the
table or something...
1067
00:56:14,372 --> 00:56:16,290
Thank you, Graham.
1068
00:56:16,291 --> 00:56:20,335
Ladies and gentlemen,
the bride and groom.
1069
00:56:20,336 --> 00:56:22,004
(Polite clapping)
1070
00:56:22,005 --> 00:56:23,598
JIM: Maestro!
1071
00:56:25,425 --> 00:56:28,343
- Well, that was... That was...
- Awful?
1072
00:56:28,344 --> 00:56:32,264
Atrocious? Humiliating? What
the hell was he thinking?
1073
00:56:32,265 --> 00:56:34,313
I don't know, David, he's your friend.
1074
00:56:35,810 --> 00:56:38,478
David, are you a homosexual?
(Static)
1075
00:56:38,479 --> 00:56:40,230
No, of course not.
1076
00:56:40,231 --> 00:56:42,029
Because if you're doing this for a visa,
1077
00:56:42,030 --> 00:56:44,318
the Minister for Immigration
is sitting there!
1078
00:56:44,319 --> 00:56:46,778
I'm not gay, it was a joke.
1079
00:56:46,779 --> 00:56:49,072
We'd better start laughing,
then, hadn't we, eh?
1080
00:56:49,073 --> 00:56:51,116
(Jim laughs forcefully)
1081
00:56:51,117 --> 00:56:52,868
(David laughs nervously)
1082
00:56:52,869 --> 00:56:55,495
Fantastic! What I really loved
is you gave everyone here
1083
00:56:55,496 --> 00:56:57,497
an image of David doing Mia
up the arse.
1084
00:56:57,498 --> 00:56:59,666
You gave me the wrong piece
of paper, you moron.
1085
00:56:59,667 --> 00:57:01,340
I was left with your picture of tits.
1086
00:57:01,341 --> 00:57:03,714
- Shit, mate, is that what happened?
- Yes.
1087
00:57:05,798 --> 00:57:08,091
David, I'm so sorry.
1088
00:57:08,092 --> 00:57:10,844
I had the whole speech worked out
but when I got the paper out,
1089
00:57:10,845 --> 00:57:13,847
it was just this picture of tits
and it just totally threw me.
1090
00:57:13,848 --> 00:57:15,849
You need to apologise to Jim.
1091
00:57:15,850 --> 00:57:18,644
- Do I have to?
- Yes!
1092
00:57:18,645 --> 00:57:20,739
I think he's about to
go into cardiac arrest.
1093
00:57:24,233 --> 00:57:26,777
(Car engine growls)
1094
00:57:26,778 --> 00:57:28,826
KAL: I haven't been to a wedding
in years.
1095
00:57:30,198 --> 00:57:33,033
Fucking little dead shit.
1096
00:57:33,034 --> 00:57:35,077
I thought we had a connection.
1097
00:57:35,078 --> 00:57:38,622
I even told him about my panic attacks.
1098
00:57:38,623 --> 00:57:42,167
- I'm gonna barge in there...
- You can't barge in dressed like that.
1099
00:57:42,168 --> 00:57:44,836
Oh, I can barge wherever I fucking like.
1100
00:57:44,837 --> 00:57:47,839
You want to go in there
and mess this guy up?
1101
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:49,841
You want everyone to recognise you?
1102
00:57:49,842 --> 00:57:54,018
You got to blend in, dress nice.
It's a wedding.
1103
00:58:03,773 --> 00:58:07,234
Barbara, could I have a word?
1104
00:58:07,235 --> 00:58:10,455
Too many words, Jim,
not enough champagne.
1105
00:58:12,198 --> 00:58:14,241
- (Jim chuckles nervously)
- Come on!
1106
00:58:14,242 --> 00:58:16,836
Weddings. Women.
1107
00:58:18,037 --> 00:58:20,831
- Crazy.
- Yes.
1108
00:58:20,832 --> 00:58:24,835
Still, my girl's working
the room like a pro.
1109
00:58:24,836 --> 00:58:27,504
EDDIE: You honestly think she's ready?
1110
00:58:27,505 --> 00:58:31,633
There comes a moment in time
when the universe cries out...
1111
00:58:31,634 --> 00:58:35,846
Jim, I just want to apologise
for before.
1112
00:58:35,847 --> 00:58:38,432
You see, what I thought
was actually my speech
1113
00:58:38,433 --> 00:58:41,268
actually turned out to
be this drawing of...
1114
00:58:41,269 --> 00:58:43,812
Well, you can see what it is.
1115
00:58:43,813 --> 00:58:45,605
It's tits.
1116
00:58:45,606 --> 00:58:48,108
Anyway, I'm really sorry.
1117
00:58:48,109 --> 00:58:51,028
Sorry? Hah! Come on!
1118
00:58:51,029 --> 00:58:53,780
You'll have your own chat show
with a performance like that.
1119
00:58:53,781 --> 00:58:55,240
You were a riot!
1120
00:58:55,241 --> 00:58:59,462
It was really, really, really funny.
1121
00:59:01,247 --> 00:59:03,466
You pull your head in, kid.
1122
00:59:09,797 --> 00:59:12,841
- Jim.
- This is going pear-shaped.
1123
00:59:12,842 --> 00:59:15,052
Gotta do something fast
to turn this around.
1124
00:59:15,053 --> 00:59:17,846
- Bump Ramsy ahead of schedule.
- Yes.
1125
00:59:17,847 --> 00:59:20,974
Give me something strong, please.
Have you got a Molotov cocktail?
1126
00:59:20,975 --> 00:59:24,644
Oh, no, a dirty martini,
please Yeah, times two.
1127
00:59:24,645 --> 00:59:26,146
Thanks.
1128
00:59:26,147 --> 00:59:30,025
That's got to go down as the worst
toast in the history of bad toasts.
1129
00:59:30,026 --> 00:59:32,819
I don't know, I thought
it was pretty funny.
1130
00:59:32,820 --> 00:59:36,239
Really? What,
even the bit about anal sex?
1131
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,825
Are you kidding? That
was, like, the best bit.
1132
00:59:38,826 --> 00:59:40,869
- It's all anyone can talk about.
- Yeah?
1133
00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:42,412
Yeah.
1134
00:59:42,413 --> 00:59:45,540
Yeah, well, I didn't wanna do
something boring, you know?
1135
00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:47,543
♪ Sugar, Sugar
1136
00:59:50,213 --> 00:59:52,422
Spruce him up, boys.
Full bells and whistles.
1137
00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:54,642
We've got a Senate seat to save...
1138
00:59:56,594 --> 01:00:00,430
- To lesbians.
- Amen to that, sister.
1139
01:00:00,431 --> 01:00:02,104
Yeah. (Laughs)
1140
01:00:05,812 --> 01:00:10,816
Hmm, there's something very
sexy about a man in uniform.
1141
01:00:10,817 --> 01:00:13,610
Even sexier out of it. (Laughs)
1142
01:00:13,611 --> 01:00:16,822
- What the hell are you doing?
- Dancing at my daughter's wedding
1143
01:00:16,823 --> 01:00:19,616
- You? (Laughs)
- Jim, could I have a word?
1144
01:00:19,617 --> 01:00:23,036
- It's important.
- Oh, I bet it is.
1145
01:00:23,037 --> 01:00:24,835
- What is it?
- It's Ramsy.
1146
01:00:24,836 --> 01:00:27,666
He's gone. I just went to check
his pen and he's not there.
1147
01:00:27,667 --> 01:00:30,043
(Grumbles)
1148
01:00:30,044 --> 01:00:32,843
- Dad, what's wrong?
- Ramsy is missing.
1149
01:00:37,593 --> 01:00:39,889
- I'll be back in a minute, yeah?
- You can't go now.
1150
01:00:39,890 --> 01:00:41,685
They're about to call the bridal waltz.
1151
01:00:41,686 --> 01:00:44,182
I'll be one minute, I promise.
1152
01:00:44,183 --> 01:00:47,060
- However, I'm telling you...
- Where's Ramsy?
1153
01:00:47,061 --> 01:00:49,604
- What?
- The sheep.
1154
01:00:49,605 --> 01:00:51,648
- You didn't take it back, did you?
- Shit.
1155
01:00:51,649 --> 01:00:53,692
Are you stupid in the mind?
1156
01:00:53,693 --> 01:00:56,403
We need to get him back right now.
Excuse us.
1157
01:00:56,404 --> 01:00:58,031
Oi... Uh, I just...
1158
01:01:05,788 --> 01:01:07,836
I told you you'd need a suit!
1159
01:01:12,420 --> 01:01:13,879
Get fucked.
1160
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:14,972
Boys.
1161
01:01:17,425 --> 01:01:19,467
(Squeals and laughs)
1162
01:01:19,468 --> 01:01:22,846
- Hi!
- Oh, Mum, you're drunk?
1163
01:01:22,847 --> 01:01:26,647
Not at all, darling. I just
had a shitload of coke.
1164
01:01:33,774 --> 01:01:35,776
TOM: I left him in here, I swear.
1165
01:01:37,695 --> 01:01:39,446
Luke? Luke!
1166
01:01:39,447 --> 01:01:42,657
- Have you seen Ramsy?
- Who's Ramsy?
1167
01:01:42,658 --> 01:01:46,161
- The sheep. The sheep I left in here.
- I don't know any sheep.
1168
01:01:46,162 --> 01:01:49,206
I've gotta go and do the bridal waltz.
I'll be back in five minutes.
1169
01:01:49,207 --> 01:01:50,709
You'd better have found him.
1170
01:01:53,419 --> 01:01:55,921
Sorry. I need your help, Leo.
1171
01:01:55,922 --> 01:02:00,842
- Somebody's stolen my sheep.
- Who? The caterers?
1172
01:02:00,843 --> 01:02:02,686
I'm serious, Commissioner.
1173
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,473
Alright, Jim.
1174
01:02:06,474 --> 01:02:10,560
♪ Slow-motion weekdays stare me down
1175
01:02:10,561 --> 01:02:14,481
♪ Her lipstick reflex got me wound... ♪
1176
01:02:14,482 --> 01:02:18,235
- What does it look like?
- It's covered in wool and it bleats.
1177
01:02:18,236 --> 01:02:20,113
What do you think it looks like, Luke?
1178
01:02:20,114 --> 01:02:21,739
Aah!
1179
01:02:27,203 --> 01:02:28,828
- Oh, my God.
- What?
1180
01:02:28,829 --> 01:02:30,672
- Most of the drugs are missing.
- Huh?
1181
01:02:30,673 --> 01:02:33,875
Ramsy‘s eaten them all.
Ramsy, you idiot!
1182
01:02:33,876 --> 01:02:37,337
Ray's gonna hurt us really bad.
What are we gonna do?
1183
01:02:37,338 --> 01:02:39,839
- Laxatives.
- What?
1184
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:43,635
Give it a load of laxatives,
maybe it'll shit it out.
1185
01:02:43,636 --> 01:02:45,053
Yes.
1186
01:02:45,054 --> 01:02:46,554
GRAHAM: Yes.
1187
01:02:46,555 --> 01:02:48,265
Yes.
1188
01:02:48,266 --> 01:02:50,064
Yes, thank you.
1189
01:02:53,980 --> 01:02:56,731
And now, ladies and gentlemen
a father's dream come true...
1190
01:02:56,732 --> 01:03:00,236
his daughter dancing the bridal waltz.
1191
01:03:01,988 --> 01:03:03,446
(clapping)
1192
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:07,827
a, la, la, la, la, la, la
1193
01:03:08,995 --> 01:03:12,956
a, la, la, la, la, la, la
1194
01:03:12,957 --> 01:03:15,417
You alright? You're dripping with sweat.
1195
01:03:15,418 --> 01:03:18,628
- No, yeah, I'm fine. You?
- Oh, great.
1196
01:03:18,629 --> 01:03:20,922
Apart from the fact I lost my husband,
1197
01:03:20,923 --> 01:03:23,091
Dad's lost Ramsy
and Mum's lost the plot.
1198
01:03:23,092 --> 01:03:25,260
- Did your friends give her coke?
- What?!
1199
01:03:25,261 --> 01:03:27,679
Of course not. Who would
they get coke from?
1200
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:30,432
Come on, come on.
1201
01:03:30,433 --> 01:03:32,392
Come on, eat it!
1202
01:03:32,393 --> 01:03:34,060
Oh! For God's sake!
1203
01:03:34,061 --> 01:03:37,605
He'll eat a load of drug-filled condoms
but he won't eat 50 laxatives!
1204
01:03:37,606 --> 01:03:41,234
- Oh, my God! We are dead.
- Shut up, Graham!
1205
01:03:41,235 --> 01:03:42,657
(Far?)
- Hang on.
1206
01:03:42,658 --> 01:03:44,530
I think he's done something.
1207
01:03:45,573 --> 01:03:47,615
- (Tom gasps)
- Yes!
1208
01:03:47,616 --> 01:03:50,620
- We've got one.
- Yes!
1209
01:03:53,789 --> 01:03:55,832
Have you seen Jim's sheep?
1210
01:03:55,833 --> 01:03:59,169
(Man laughs)
1211
01:03:59,170 --> 01:04:01,004
Come on! It's no good.
1212
01:04:01,005 --> 01:04:03,048
He's not shitting them out quick enough.
1213
01:04:03,049 --> 01:04:05,302
- You know what I'm thinking, Graham?
- No, what?
1214
01:04:05,303 --> 01:04:08,428
I'm thinking you're gonna have
to stick your hand up his arse.
1215
01:04:08,429 --> 01:04:09,554
Sorry?
1216
01:04:09,555 --> 01:04:12,766
I said, I'm thinking you're gonna
have to stick your hand up his arse.
1217
01:04:12,767 --> 01:04:15,643
Yes, I heard what you said. I
just can't believe you said it.
1218
01:04:15,644 --> 01:04:17,521
Well, there's no other option, is there?
1219
01:04:17,522 --> 01:04:19,564
How else are we gonna get
the drugs back?
1220
01:04:19,565 --> 01:04:21,816
OK, let's just be absolutely
clear on something
1221
01:04:21,817 --> 01:04:23,401
so there's no misunderstanding.
1222
01:04:23,402 --> 01:04:25,820
I'm not sticking my hand
up anything's arse!
1223
01:04:25,821 --> 01:04:27,155
(Bleats)
1224
01:04:27,156 --> 01:04:30,575
And that's fine, Graham, but you're
the one who's gonna have to tell Ray
1225
01:04:30,576 --> 01:04:33,203
that we were gonna give him his
drugs back but not any more
1226
01:04:33,204 --> 01:04:35,002
because they've been eaten by a sheep!
1227
01:04:36,749 --> 01:04:38,124
Shit!
1228
01:04:38,125 --> 01:04:39,125
Whoo!
1229
01:04:39,126 --> 01:04:41,544
Oh, God, look at her.
She's off her tits.
1230
01:04:41,545 --> 01:04:44,297
(Laughs hysterically)
1231
01:04:44,298 --> 01:04:46,466
I really need to go to the toilet.
1232
01:04:46,467 --> 01:04:48,510
- Are you doing coke, David?
- No!
1233
01:04:48,511 --> 01:04:50,809
I'll be back in two minutes.
1234
01:05:00,981 --> 01:05:02,399
Ugh!
1235
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:05,026
Come on, Graham, don't pussy about.
Get stuck in.
1236
01:05:05,027 --> 01:05:07,278
It's no good, Tom, I
can't get good purchase.
1237
01:05:07,279 --> 01:05:09,656
Oh, hang on.
1238
01:05:09,657 --> 01:05:11,455
- I think I've found something.
- Yeah?
1239
01:05:11,456 --> 01:05:13,034
(Silence)
1240
01:05:13,035 --> 01:05:15,453
What the fuck is going on?!
1241
01:05:15,454 --> 01:05:17,252
It's not what it looks like.
1242
01:05:20,584 --> 01:05:25,130
- You've got five seconds, Graham.
- What, me? Uh, well...
1243
01:05:25,131 --> 01:05:27,132
Now, don't panic, David.
1244
01:05:27,133 --> 01:05:28,633
It's too late, I'm afraid, Tom!
1245
01:05:28,634 --> 01:05:31,428
I'm already in major nuclear
fucking panic mode!
1246
01:05:31,429 --> 01:05:34,264
- What's that?
- That's nothing to worry about.
1247
01:05:34,265 --> 01:05:36,766
That's just some condoms
with some cocaine in it.
1248
01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:38,435
A condom with cocaine in it?
1249
01:05:38,436 --> 01:05:40,653
Graham stole it from the
guy who sold us the weed.
1250
01:05:40,654 --> 01:05:42,398
I didn't steal it, I took it by mistake.
1251
01:05:42,399 --> 01:05:44,899
Oh, my God. Oh, my God,
this can't be happening.
1252
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:47,026
This is my wedding day.
1253
01:05:47,027 --> 01:05:49,448
It's supposed to be the most
memorable day of my life!
1254
01:05:49,449 --> 01:05:51,290
- Probably is in a way.
(Both chuckle)
1255
01:05:51,291 --> 01:05:53,616
Just calm down, OK?
1256
01:05:53,617 --> 01:05:56,161
I know this looks bad but it's fixable.
1257
01:05:56,162 --> 01:05:58,371
- How?
- Well, first things first.
1258
01:05:58,372 --> 01:06:00,841
We've got to get those drugs
out of that sheep's arse.
1259
01:06:08,424 --> 01:06:10,842
You're Barry Gribble's son, right?
1260
01:06:10,843 --> 01:06:12,720
Yeah, how's your dad?
1261
01:06:14,805 --> 01:06:17,228
Haven't seen my dad since
Kentucky Fried Chicken.
1262
01:06:20,227 --> 01:06:24,230
Now you're doing it. Squeeze,
squeeze it like a sturgeon.
1263
01:06:24,231 --> 01:06:26,941
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- It's a fishing term.
1264
01:06:26,942 --> 01:06:28,485
Here comes another one.
1265
01:06:28,486 --> 01:06:30,236
Oh!
1266
01:06:30,237 --> 01:06:33,239
Sorry, busy in here. Shouldn't
have had the curry prawns.
1267
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,288
MAN: My tie, it's stuck.
1268
01:06:36,785 --> 01:06:39,163
Excuse me, I said my tie is...
1269
01:06:43,792 --> 01:06:46,503
TOM: OK, now, tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle the gonads
1270
01:06:46,504 --> 01:06:48,632
so we get some bonus secretions.
1271
01:06:52,593 --> 01:06:54,636
(Laughs) Having a good time, girls?
1272
01:06:54,637 --> 01:06:57,055
Great! Except my husband
keeps going missing.
1273
01:06:57,056 --> 01:06:59,641
Oh, married life - get
used to it, darling.
1274
01:06:59,642 --> 01:07:03,144
Uh, Mum, I think it's time for one
of your special night-night pills.
1275
01:07:03,145 --> 01:07:06,814
Push! Push! You can do it, Ramsy!
Push!
1276
01:07:06,815 --> 01:07:08,691
Oh! Oh!
1277
01:07:08,692 --> 01:07:10,740
- I think that's the last one.
- Are you sure?
1278
01:07:10,741 --> 01:07:13,404
- Yeah, I think so.
- Alright, good.
1279
01:07:13,405 --> 01:07:15,532
Now get him back down
to the Old House.
1280
01:07:15,533 --> 01:07:19,254
D'you mind if I wash my hands first?
They're covered in sheep shit.
1281
01:07:27,419 --> 01:07:32,048
Uh, Luke, what's that you're holding?
1282
01:07:32,049 --> 01:07:34,425
I don't think I can go on, David.
1283
01:07:34,426 --> 01:07:37,262
Are you fucking kidding? Are
you fucking kidding me?!
1284
01:07:37,263 --> 01:07:38,805
Sorry.
1285
01:07:38,806 --> 01:07:40,848
I don't have a choice.
1286
01:07:40,849 --> 01:07:43,434
Just... Hold on a second, Luke.
1287
01:07:43,435 --> 01:07:45,938
And think about what you're doing.
1288
01:07:47,565 --> 01:07:50,569
All I can think about is her
all the time.
1289
01:07:51,610 --> 01:07:53,829
Her and that dick-less wonder.
1290
01:07:57,783 --> 01:07:59,535
Do you guys have any idea what it's like
1291
01:07:59,536 --> 01:08:02,880
to think about your ex-girlfriend
having sex with a man without a penis?
1292
01:08:04,999 --> 01:08:08,048
Well, you don't know for sure
that he doesn't have one.
1293
01:08:09,420 --> 01:08:11,343
You said so yourself.
It's just a rumour.
1294
01:08:11,344 --> 01:08:13,923
To be fair, I did hear it from
a pretty reliable source.
1295
01:08:13,924 --> 01:08:15,675
BOTH: Shut up, Tom.
(Sobs)
1296
01:08:15,676 --> 01:08:20,638
Listen... Luke, d'you honestly think
that Sarah's gonna take you back
1297
01:08:20,639 --> 01:08:22,562
if you've shot yourself in the head?
1298
01:08:22,563 --> 01:08:24,856
- He's got a point, Luke.
DAVID: Come on, mate.
1299
01:08:26,604 --> 01:08:28,197
Give me the gun.
1300
01:08:30,190 --> 01:08:31,692
No.
1301
01:08:32,943 --> 01:08:34,536
Ah! Ah!
1302
01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:38,239
Stop! Stop! Aah!
1303
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,782
(Gunshot)
1304
01:08:39,783 --> 01:08:40,950
Aah!
1305
01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:43,453
Your father just got the catering bill.
1306
01:08:43,454 --> 01:08:45,297
Back in a minute. Watch her.
1307
01:08:47,791 --> 01:08:51,419
Jesus, Luke! You could have killed
one of us, you bloody maniac!
1308
01:08:51,420 --> 01:08:54,297
Alright, calm down. Everybody,
just take a deep breath.
1309
01:08:54,298 --> 01:08:56,841
Oh, my God! I've been shot!
1310
01:08:56,842 --> 01:08:59,010
- What?
- Look at my arm!
1311
01:08:59,011 --> 01:09:02,764
- You shot me, Luke! You idiot!
- Sorry.
1312
01:09:02,765 --> 01:09:05,058
- Sorry?!
- Alright, Jesus, Graham.
1313
01:09:05,059 --> 01:09:07,226
It's only a flesh wound,
can we stop moaning?
1314
01:09:07,227 --> 01:09:08,728
I'm not moaning!
1315
01:09:08,729 --> 01:09:10,813
It's always something with you,
isn't it?
1316
01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:13,024
If it's not the malaise,
it's the air sickness.
1317
01:09:13,025 --> 01:09:15,777
If not the air sickness, it's something else!
I'm sick of it!
1318
01:09:15,778 --> 01:09:17,200
- I've been shot, Tom!
- Fine.
1319
01:09:17,201 --> 01:09:20,573
OK, let's all acknowledge the
fact that Graham's been shot, OK?
1320
01:09:20,574 --> 01:09:23,409
- There! You happy now?
- Not really.
1321
01:09:23,410 --> 01:09:24,957
(Bleats)
1322
01:09:27,414 --> 01:09:29,041
- Shit.
- Oh, my God.
1323
01:09:34,004 --> 01:09:37,256
♪ Come on, baby
1324
01:09:37,257 --> 01:09:39,385
♪ Let's do the twist... ♪
1325
01:09:40,427 --> 01:09:43,513
There's no wound. It must have
gone into shock. What do we do?
1326
01:09:43,514 --> 01:09:45,437
Maybe we should give it
mouth-to-mouth.
1327
01:09:45,438 --> 01:09:46,974
- Good idea.
BOTH: Graham.
1328
01:09:46,975 --> 01:09:48,773
- Yes?
- You know CPR, don't you?
1329
01:09:48,774 --> 01:09:50,520
Not on barnyard animals.
1330
01:09:50,521 --> 01:09:53,272
Oh, come on, it's the same shit.
Just breathe into his mouth.
1331
01:09:53,273 --> 01:09:55,367
- You do it!
- You've had your hand up his arse.
1332
01:09:55,368 --> 01:09:57,402
What difference if you
breathe in his mouth?
1333
01:09:57,403 --> 01:09:59,622
How do I even do it? His
mouth is the wrong shape!
1334
01:09:59,623 --> 01:10:01,364
I can't even get any suction!
1335
01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:05,368
Right! Out of the way.
1336
01:10:05,369 --> 01:10:07,463
♪ Come on, little miss
1337
01:10:08,580 --> 01:10:10,623
♪ And do the twist... ♪
1338
01:10:10,624 --> 01:10:12,041
(Sobs)
1339
01:10:12,042 --> 01:10:14,795
One, two, three.
1340
01:10:16,213 --> 01:10:18,548
Come on. Come on!
1341
01:10:18,549 --> 01:10:21,098
- Come on, Ramsy.
- Breathe.
1342
01:10:22,803 --> 01:10:24,555
Come on, come on!
1343
01:10:26,432 --> 01:10:28,275
(Music stops abruptly)
1344
01:10:29,810 --> 01:10:31,653
- It's not what it looks like.
- Really?
1345
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:38,234
(Luke sobs)
1346
01:10:38,235 --> 01:10:39,986
(Ramsy grunts)
1347
01:10:39,987 --> 01:10:41,864
TOM: He's alive! He's alive!
1348
01:10:44,992 --> 01:10:47,410
- Mia, stop!
- What the hell was that, David?
1349
01:10:47,411 --> 01:10:52,248
I mean, yeah, I've got a sense of
humour but who are you people?
1350
01:10:52,249 --> 01:10:54,292
OK, OK, take a deep breath.
1351
01:10:54,293 --> 01:10:56,836
Remember the beach, you and me,
Tuvalu.
1352
01:10:56,837 --> 01:10:59,338
Tuvalu suddenly seems like
a very long way away!
1353
01:10:59,339 --> 01:11:00,841
Mia, stop!
1354
01:11:03,010 --> 01:11:05,052
Have I just made a terrible mistake?
1355
01:11:05,053 --> 01:11:07,096
Have we just made
a terrible mistake here?
1356
01:11:07,097 --> 01:11:09,140
Do we really know each other?
1357
01:11:09,141 --> 01:11:13,436
I mean, maybe what we have
is just a holiday romance.
1358
01:11:13,437 --> 01:11:16,397
Don't say that. This is just a
really unfortunate situation.
1359
01:11:16,398 --> 01:11:18,024
I'll sort it out, I promise!
1360
01:11:18,025 --> 01:11:21,652
You keep saying that but it just seems
to get worse and worse and worse.
1361
01:11:21,653 --> 01:11:23,821
It hasn't been that easy for me,
you know.
1362
01:11:23,822 --> 01:11:26,240
I'm doing my best.
1363
01:11:26,241 --> 01:11:28,409
And now I find out you're
gonna be a senator.
1364
01:11:28,410 --> 01:11:32,256
I'm not going to be a senator.
I don't want to be a senator.
1365
01:11:33,415 --> 01:11:36,250
Wha... Uh...
1366
01:11:36,251 --> 01:11:40,421
David, look,
all I want is to be with you.
1367
01:11:40,422 --> 01:11:44,842
So I'm begging you, whatever
weird shit is going on here,
1368
01:11:44,843 --> 01:11:47,929
just sort it out.
1369
01:11:47,930 --> 01:11:49,182
Please.
1370
01:11:59,191 --> 01:12:01,234
You alright, bro?
1371
01:12:01,235 --> 01:12:03,402
God, that was all a bit
awkward, wasn't it?
1372
01:12:03,403 --> 01:12:05,451
I thought you were
supposed to be my friend.
1373
01:12:07,783 --> 01:12:09,826
Wait, of course I'm your friend.
1374
01:12:09,827 --> 01:12:14,372
- What are you talking about?
- The drugs. The sheep. The speech.
1375
01:12:14,373 --> 01:12:16,467
Are you purposely trying
to screw up my life?
1376
01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:20,887
- Why would I wanna do that, David?
- I don't know, Tom!
1377
01:12:20,888 --> 01:12:24,590
Maybe because you're jealous?
Selfish? Immature?
1378
01:12:24,591 --> 01:12:27,260
Hang on a minute! Yeah, I'm immature!
1379
01:12:27,261 --> 01:12:29,345
Who's the one marrying
a girl he barely knows
1380
01:12:29,346 --> 01:12:32,223
and leaving his friends behind
like they don't count for shit?
1381
01:12:32,224 --> 01:12:33,851
How bloody immature is that, David?
1382
01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:38,396
OK, so I didn't entirely know I
felt like that until just now.
1383
01:12:38,397 --> 01:12:40,398
But it's true, innit?
1384
01:12:40,399 --> 01:12:43,234
You're dumping us.
1385
01:12:43,235 --> 01:12:47,029
You're moving on and you're
destroying my youth in the process.
1386
01:12:47,030 --> 01:12:51,409
Right, so what you're saying is that
you don't support me getting married.
1387
01:12:51,410 --> 01:12:53,411
That's right, I don't.
1388
01:12:53,412 --> 01:12:56,414
I think you met a girl on a beach
holiday, I think you don't know her
1389
01:12:56,415 --> 01:12:58,583
and I think you didn't
even consult me, David!
1390
01:12:58,584 --> 01:13:00,211
- Consult you?!
- Yes, consult me!
1391
01:13:00,212 --> 01:13:03,588
I'm sorry if my getting married makes
you feel old but I love this girl!
1392
01:13:03,589 --> 01:13:07,091
- This is my chance to have a family.
- Thought we were your family.
1393
01:13:07,092 --> 01:13:10,845
Yeah, but you're not my family, Tom.
You're my mates.
1394
01:13:10,846 --> 01:13:14,851
And however much you call me
brother‘ or 'bro' won't change that
1395
01:13:28,989 --> 01:13:30,741
Hello, Graham.
1396
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:33,827
(Whimpers)
1397
01:13:35,412 --> 01:13:38,831
There you are, David! The
dance floor is hotting up!
1398
01:13:38,832 --> 01:13:41,042
- Hi, Barbara.
- It's going off!
1399
01:13:41,043 --> 01:13:43,135
- I've just got to...
- No, not got to nothing.
1400
01:13:43,136 --> 01:13:44,880
You're not a real member of this family
1401
01:13:44,881 --> 01:13:48,132
until you have macarenaed
with your mother-in-law.
1402
01:13:48,133 --> 01:13:51,603
- Where are my drugs?
- There. They're all there.
1403
01:13:55,432 --> 01:13:58,059
Why do my drugs smell like shit?
1404
01:13:58,060 --> 01:14:00,233
Uh, we... We, um...
1405
01:14:01,188 --> 01:14:03,397
Had to, oh...
1406
01:14:03,398 --> 01:14:05,275
You let me down, Graham.
1407
01:14:07,778 --> 01:14:10,237
- I thought we were friends.
- We are friends.
1408
01:14:10,238 --> 01:14:12,616
- I thought you liked me.
- I do like you.
1409
01:14:12,617 --> 01:14:14,459
Is that... Is that my suit?
1410
01:14:16,536 --> 01:14:21,415
I shared with you and what do you do?
You spit it back in my face.
1411
01:14:21,416 --> 01:14:24,251
The whole thing was just
a big misunderstanding.
1412
01:14:24,252 --> 01:14:27,254
I never would have taken
your bag on purpose.
1413
01:14:27,255 --> 01:14:29,632
Look, we're mates, aren't we?
1414
01:14:29,633 --> 01:14:31,676
We're going out for dinner next week.
1415
01:14:31,677 --> 01:14:33,719
Hmm?
1416
01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:36,639
Maybe... Maybe a drink afterwards?
1417
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:39,689
OK, sure. We'll have a good time.
1418
01:14:44,398 --> 01:14:46,617
- What happened to your arm?
- It's nothing.
1419
01:14:46,618 --> 01:14:49,652
I just got kind of shot,
it's just a flesh wound.
1420
01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:51,696
You're gonna need
to get that cleaned up.
1421
01:14:51,697 --> 01:14:56,033
- Well, I think...
- No. You need to get that cleaned up.
1422
01:14:56,034 --> 01:14:58,077
- OK.
- Good.
1423
01:14:58,078 --> 01:15:00,579
Take your pants off.
1424
01:15:00,580 --> 01:15:03,416
(Barbara laughs)
1425
01:15:03,417 --> 01:15:06,836
Ah! Hey! Yay!
1426
01:15:06,837 --> 01:15:10,256
- Thanks, that was great.
- Where do you think you're going?
1427
01:15:10,257 --> 01:15:13,175
They haven't played YMCA yet. Yoohoo!
1428
01:15:13,176 --> 01:15:16,020
- (Luke whimpers)
- (Ramsy bleats)
1429
01:15:18,015 --> 01:15:21,394
I was thinking I could maybe let
you off for taking the drugs.
1430
01:15:25,814 --> 01:15:29,614
- It was an accident, wasn't it?
- Absolutely, Ray.
1431
01:15:31,361 --> 01:15:33,029
Oh!
1432
01:15:33,030 --> 01:15:35,281
- No!
- Yes.
1433
01:15:35,282 --> 01:15:38,617
- What are you doing, you idiot?
- Saving your arse, that's what.
1434
01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:42,204
I completely talked him around! He
was gonna let us off the drugs!
1435
01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:45,249
How am I supposed to know that?
You're lying there bare-chested!
1436
01:15:45,250 --> 01:15:47,877
- I don't know what's going on!
- What are we gonna do, Tom?
1437
01:15:47,878 --> 01:15:49,920
He's gonna go ballistic!
1438
01:15:49,921 --> 01:15:52,595
Sauna - lock him in the sauna.
1439
01:15:55,010 --> 01:15:57,354
Little bit too much to drink.
1440
01:15:58,555 --> 01:16:02,224
♪ That's why we go to the YMCA
1441
01:16:02,225 --> 01:16:07,026
ALL: ♪ That's why they go
to the YMCA... ♪
1442
01:16:09,983 --> 01:16:12,610
- Dave?
- Oh.
1443
01:16:12,611 --> 01:16:14,236
Hi.
1444
01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:18,199
- How's it going with finding Ramsy?
- Who told you Ramsy was missing?
1445
01:16:18,200 --> 01:16:21,911
Mia. Mia, she told me.
1446
01:16:21,912 --> 01:16:24,210
TOM: Blown it, we've blown it, Graham.
1447
01:16:25,791 --> 01:16:28,042
This is insane, is he gonna be OK?
1448
01:16:28,043 --> 01:16:30,086
We'll fix it, we'll fix everything.
1449
01:16:30,087 --> 01:16:32,838
Let's just save this fucking wedding.
1450
01:16:32,839 --> 01:16:35,092
DAVID: Alright, alright.
1451
01:16:36,384 --> 01:16:38,636
Alright, guys, so here's the plan.
1452
01:16:38,637 --> 01:16:40,679
First, get the sheep
back to the Old House.
1453
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:42,978
Two, get rid of the drugs and
C - go back to the party
1454
01:16:42,979 --> 01:16:45,684
and behave like proper adult human beings.
Clear? Graham.
1455
01:16:45,685 --> 01:16:47,895
How are we gonna get him
back to the Old House
1456
01:16:47,896 --> 01:16:50,773
when there's, like, a
million people downstairs?
1457
01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:53,651
We make a harness out of bedsheets
and lower him out the window.
1458
01:16:53,652 --> 01:16:55,950
Graham, you come with me.
Tom, you lower him down.
1459
01:16:55,951 --> 01:16:58,665
By myself? Look at the size of the fucker.
What if I drop him?
1460
01:17:00,992 --> 01:17:02,827
Luke, we need your help.
1461
01:17:02,828 --> 01:17:06,423
I'm useless, David. I'm
just useless to everyone.
1462
01:17:08,375 --> 01:17:11,627
Ah! That really hurt.
1463
01:17:11,628 --> 01:17:14,296
Good. I'm sick to death of you
feeling sorry for yourself.
1464
01:17:14,297 --> 01:17:16,340
Sarah's gone
and she's never coming back.
1465
01:17:16,341 --> 01:17:17,883
(Sobs) No!
1466
01:17:17,884 --> 01:17:19,385
- Ah!
- It's over.
1467
01:17:19,386 --> 01:17:22,429
You got to pull yourself together.
Life's too short for this shit.
1468
01:17:22,430 --> 01:17:25,229
- (Sighs)
- Luke, I want my friend back.
1469
01:17:27,394 --> 01:17:28,686
OK.
1470
01:17:28,687 --> 01:17:31,188
♪ Yeah, I feel a little crazy
1471
01:17:31,189 --> 01:17:34,024
♪ I feel a little strange
1472
01:17:34,025 --> 01:17:37,027
♪ Like I'm in a pay phone
1473
01:17:37,028 --> 01:17:40,698
♪ Without any change... ♪
- Sauna... Sauna!
1474
01:17:40,699 --> 01:17:44,829
Oh, this is fucked! Get
me the fuck out of here!
1475
01:17:45,996 --> 01:17:48,795
♪ I feel like a school... ♪
- Ramsy, Ramsy, good, Ramsy.
1476
01:17:50,167 --> 01:17:52,501
May we have a word, gentlemen?
1477
01:17:52,502 --> 01:17:54,962
Good sheep, nice and tight.
1478
01:17:54,963 --> 01:17:57,047
So, David, big day for you.
1479
01:17:57,048 --> 01:18:00,384
Jet lag OK? Weather not too hot?
1480
01:18:00,385 --> 01:18:02,228
What's in the bag?
1481
01:18:03,805 --> 01:18:05,682
This bag?
1482
01:18:07,017 --> 01:18:09,440
- Wedding presents.
- Presents, wedding presents.
1483
01:18:09,441 --> 01:18:13,022
May we see the wedding presents?
1484
01:18:13,023 --> 01:18:14,525
Yep.
1485
01:18:22,574 --> 01:18:26,035
That's one. I haven't wrapped it yet.
1486
01:18:26,036 --> 01:18:30,212
Gentlemen, you may be aware
that Ramsy is missing.
1487
01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:34,210
Jim's sheep.
1488
01:18:34,211 --> 01:18:36,259
Have you seen the sheep?
1489
01:18:41,801 --> 01:18:44,179
Have you seen any sheep?
1490
01:18:47,098 --> 01:18:48,600
Oof!
1491
01:18:52,812 --> 01:18:56,191
GRAHAM: I saw a sheep... once.
1492
01:18:57,317 --> 01:19:00,287
When... I was a kid.
1493
01:19:02,030 --> 01:19:03,864
(Mobile phone rings)
1494
01:19:03,865 --> 01:19:06,084
You'll tell us if you see
anything, won't you?
1495
01:19:08,161 --> 01:19:10,120
We'll shout.
1496
01:19:10,121 --> 01:19:11,288
Mum! Hello.
1497
01:19:11,289 --> 01:19:13,963
Alright. Off you go.
1498
01:19:16,878 --> 01:19:19,213
- Feel like I'm gonna be sick.
DAVID: Not yet.
1499
01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:21,590
We've got to get Ramsy back
to the Old House first.
1500
01:19:21,591 --> 01:19:22,638
Then you can be sick.
1501
01:19:22,639 --> 01:19:24,677
Whoa! Whoa!
1502
01:19:24,678 --> 01:19:26,512
Whoa...
1503
01:19:26,513 --> 01:19:29,141
Oh! No! No!
1504
01:19:42,988 --> 01:19:45,990
ALL: One, two, three.
1505
01:19:45,991 --> 01:19:47,834
(squeals)
1506
01:19:50,036 --> 01:19:51,788
Please! Let me out!
1507
01:19:53,540 --> 01:19:54,623
Let me out!
1508
01:19:54,624 --> 01:19:55,833
Thanks, guys.
1509
01:19:55,834 --> 01:19:57,882
I'm just gonna go and be sick now.
1510
01:19:59,170 --> 01:20:01,218
(Door unlocks)
- Fuck! Go! Go!
1511
01:20:11,016 --> 01:20:12,516
MIA: Well?
1512
01:20:12,517 --> 01:20:16,812
- It's taken care of.
- You are one lucky bastard.
1513
01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:18,856
- Technically, he's an orphan.
- Fine.
1514
01:20:18,857 --> 01:20:22,818
- You are one lucky orphaned bastard.
- I know.
1515
01:20:22,819 --> 01:20:24,862
(Graham retches)
1516
01:20:24,863 --> 01:20:27,281
(Laughs)
1517
01:20:27,282 --> 01:20:30,534
Uh, Jim, I don't know
how but Ramsy‘s back.
1518
01:20:30,535 --> 01:20:32,995
Must have just gone for a little walk.
1519
01:20:32,996 --> 01:20:35,539
Oh, well, so he just opened
the gate by himself,
1520
01:20:35,540 --> 01:20:38,834
had a little cup of coffee,
came home and closed the gate?
1521
01:20:38,835 --> 01:20:40,878
Sorry to waste your time, Leo.
1522
01:20:40,879 --> 01:20:43,630
As long as Ramsy is safe and
sound, that's all that counts.
1523
01:20:43,631 --> 01:20:47,176
Ready the ram. My future's riding on it.
1524
01:20:47,177 --> 01:20:49,851
Help! Aah!
1525
01:20:52,807 --> 01:20:56,852
And now, the one you've all
been waiting for... Ramsy!
1526
01:20:56,853 --> 01:20:58,651
(clapping)
1527
01:21:00,357 --> 01:21:03,201
♪ Baa, Baa, Black Sheep
1528
01:21:07,822 --> 01:21:09,745
This is really weird.
1529
01:21:16,581 --> 01:21:18,629
Follow that, Dave.
1530
01:21:23,797 --> 01:21:25,547
Thanks, everyone.
1531
01:21:25,548 --> 01:21:28,842
Firstly, I'd like to thank
Jim and Barbara
1532
01:21:28,843 --> 01:21:31,887
for putting on such a
magnificent wedding...
1533
01:21:31,888 --> 01:21:35,062
and doesn't Barbara look
stunning, everyone?
1534
01:21:38,019 --> 01:21:41,605
Uh, the bridesmaids, of course,
1535
01:21:41,606 --> 01:21:44,576
the caterers...
1536
01:21:47,362 --> 01:21:51,407
Mia, I don't think
I can describe in words
1537
01:21:51,408 --> 01:21:53,200
just how much you mean to me.
1538
01:21:53,201 --> 01:21:56,829
So I hope that this little video
1539
01:21:56,830 --> 01:22:00,880
will go some way towards showing
just how much I love you.
1540
01:22:04,712 --> 01:22:07,423
VIDEO: Shotgun Ramsy,
shotgun Ramsy.
1541
01:22:07,424 --> 01:22:09,222
(Shocked gasps)
1542
01:22:11,177 --> 01:22:14,888
David kissed a sheep, David's
getting on to a sheep.
1543
01:22:14,889 --> 01:22:17,307
Stop it. Cut it. Cut it.
1544
01:22:17,308 --> 01:22:21,353
Right, that's not the video
I meant to play. Obviously.
1545
01:22:21,354 --> 01:22:23,272
You violated my sheep!
1546
01:22:23,273 --> 01:22:27,651
Jim, I know that looks bad but, really,
we were just playing dress-ups.
1547
01:22:27,652 --> 01:22:29,620
It's not like
we're a bunch of criminals.
1548
01:22:29,621 --> 01:22:32,030
Where is my fucking cocaine?!
1549
01:22:32,031 --> 01:22:33,874
(Shocked gasps)
1550
01:22:36,995 --> 01:22:39,204
Graham.
1551
01:22:39,205 --> 01:22:44,632
You lying, thieving, stealing
little motherfucker.
1552
01:22:46,796 --> 01:22:48,630
I'm gonna kill you.
1553
01:22:48,631 --> 01:22:51,633
Alright, fella, drop the gun.
1554
01:22:51,634 --> 01:22:53,682
(Shocked gasps)
1555
01:22:56,014 --> 01:22:58,437
- Raymond.
- Dad?
1556
01:23:00,393 --> 01:23:04,021
Oh, come on, sweetheart.
It's going to be alright.
1557
01:23:04,022 --> 01:23:06,815
You gave it your best shot.
1558
01:23:06,816 --> 01:23:09,234
Even if it was just for three hours.
1559
01:23:09,235 --> 01:23:11,278
(Mia sobs)
1560
01:23:11,279 --> 01:23:13,322
This is the best wedding
I've ever been to.
1561
01:23:13,323 --> 01:23:15,407
I can't wait to see
what's gonna happen next.
1562
01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:19,328
♪ Baby we can talk all night... ♪
1563
01:23:19,329 --> 01:23:21,622
DAVID: We didn't plan any of this.
1564
01:23:21,623 --> 01:23:25,626
Oh, really?! You didn't plan to offend
the entire Australian parliament
1565
01:23:25,627 --> 01:23:30,214
with your hilarious antics of sheep
stealing, racism and buggery,
1566
01:23:30,215 --> 01:23:32,549
not to mention that naked
gun-wielding maniac!
1567
01:23:32,550 --> 01:23:34,843
We didn't actually steal the sheep.
1568
01:23:34,844 --> 01:23:37,267
We may have dressed it up
with some bra and panties...
1569
01:23:37,268 --> 01:23:40,182
Shut up! Or I'll break
your other fucking hand!
1570
01:23:40,183 --> 01:23:42,434
♪ Baby you can cry all night... ♪
1571
01:23:42,435 --> 01:23:45,395
- That's a bit harsh.
- With all due respect, Jim,
1572
01:23:45,396 --> 01:23:47,648
I know the wedding hasn't
been the smoothest...
1573
01:23:47,649 --> 01:23:50,817
Do you seriously think
under any circumstances
1574
01:23:50,818 --> 01:23:53,153
I would allow my daughter
to associate with you,
1575
01:23:53,154 --> 01:23:55,197
the backpacker,
1576
01:23:55,198 --> 01:23:57,246
and this bunch of deadbeats?
1577
01:23:59,577 --> 01:24:01,454
Jim.
1578
01:24:03,414 --> 01:24:06,166
When I proposed to your daughter,
1579
01:24:06,167 --> 01:24:08,710
I could not stop thinking
about what it would feel like
1580
01:24:08,711 --> 01:24:10,258
to be a part of a real family.
1581
01:24:12,257 --> 01:24:16,343
What I've come to realise is that
these 'deadbeats' as you call them
1582
01:24:16,344 --> 01:24:21,807
these idiots, morons, complete
and total fuck-ups...
1583
01:24:21,808 --> 01:24:23,850
OK, David, we get the picture.
1584
01:24:23,851 --> 01:24:25,569
..they are my family.
1585
01:24:27,397 --> 01:24:29,815
And they're not perfect
1586
01:24:29,816 --> 01:24:33,819
but I know that no matter what happens,
1587
01:24:33,820 --> 01:24:35,618
they'll always be there for me.
1588
01:24:37,156 --> 01:24:38,865
I'll always be there for them.
1589
01:24:38,866 --> 01:24:41,201
What on earth
are you blathering on about?
1590
01:24:41,202 --> 01:24:44,037
I love your daughter.
1591
01:24:44,038 --> 01:24:46,962
And I will do whatever it
takes to make this right.
1592
01:24:50,587 --> 01:24:53,511
Save your breath, son. It's over.
1593
01:25:03,224 --> 01:25:09,152
♪ Baby we can talk all night... ♪
1594
01:25:11,149 --> 01:25:12,992
GRAHAM: I'm really sorry, David.
1595
01:25:14,569 --> 01:25:18,196
LUKE: I actually got some really good
therapists specialized in this area.
1596
01:25:18,197 --> 01:25:19,740
Maybe we could go together.
1597
01:25:19,741 --> 01:25:22,284
Yes, it's not all bad. He can
come back to London with us,
1598
01:25:22,285 --> 01:25:25,120
go to therapy with Luke, watch
Graham vomit his cheese,
1599
01:25:25,121 --> 01:25:29,207
everything will stay the same till
we're old and lonely and grey.
1600
01:25:29,208 --> 01:25:33,634
Now, haven't you got a
video to deliver, brother?
1601
01:25:35,381 --> 01:25:37,633
Sweetheart.
1602
01:25:37,634 --> 01:25:39,676
I know you're upset.
1603
01:25:39,677 --> 01:25:42,596
But it hasn't been a total washout.
1604
01:25:42,597 --> 01:25:44,850
It was going to be a wedding present...
1605
01:25:46,559 --> 01:25:48,644
Jim, this is not the time.
1606
01:25:48,645 --> 01:25:52,064
Congratulations, Senator.
1607
01:25:52,065 --> 01:25:54,399
- Wha...
- I'm retiring, sweetheart.
1608
01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:57,027
And I'm giving my seat to you.
1609
01:25:57,028 --> 01:25:59,030
(Tom whispers): Bigger one.
1610
01:26:00,365 --> 01:26:03,158
The party's all behind it and
if Eddie Marshall gives the OK,
1611
01:26:03,159 --> 01:26:05,202
you'll be running on
your own next election.
1612
01:26:05,203 --> 01:26:06,244
How could you?
1613
01:26:06,245 --> 01:26:08,955
TOM: Big one.
GRAHAM: Bigger one.
1614
01:26:08,956 --> 01:26:11,041
(Glass shatters) Oh!
1615
01:26:11,042 --> 01:26:12,840
DAVID: Mia?
1616
01:26:15,171 --> 01:26:16,923
Mia?
1617
01:26:18,758 --> 01:26:21,051
I'm so sorry for what happened today.
1618
01:26:21,052 --> 01:26:23,095
More than you can imagine.
1619
01:26:23,096 --> 01:26:26,306
But I'm not sorry I met you,
I'm not sorry I love you,
1620
01:26:26,307 --> 01:26:27,891
I'm not sorry I married you.
1621
01:26:27,892 --> 01:26:30,644
What is it about ‘it's over‘
you don't understand, Dave?
1622
01:26:30,645 --> 01:26:34,606
My name's David, not Dave and
I'm talking to Mia so shut up!
1623
01:26:34,607 --> 01:26:36,233
Leave him, Jim.
1624
01:26:36,234 --> 01:26:38,953
Please, Mia.
1625
01:26:43,991 --> 01:26:45,664
Just press play?
1626
01:26:49,580 --> 01:26:51,456
Mia, give me the phone.
1627
01:26:51,457 --> 01:26:53,959
- Jim, for God's sake, shut up!
- Shut up!
1628
01:26:53,960 --> 01:26:56,463
They told me nobody was here.
1629
01:26:58,172 --> 01:27:00,632
And I guess that's why I came.
1630
01:27:00,633 --> 01:27:04,052
I was lost and I needed
time to figure it out
1631
01:27:04,053 --> 01:27:06,852
and suddenly, there you were.
1632
01:27:08,182 --> 01:27:10,310
On the same beach looking
for the same thing.
1633
01:27:11,394 --> 01:27:13,770
This little beach
is where my life began.
1634
01:27:13,771 --> 01:27:16,024
My parents left me a trust.
1635
01:27:17,150 --> 01:27:19,198
Just enough to put down a deposit.
1636
01:27:21,362 --> 01:27:23,405
It's ours, Mia.
1637
01:27:23,406 --> 01:27:26,366
It's not England or Australia.
1638
01:27:26,367 --> 01:27:27,826
Ours.
1639
01:27:27,827 --> 01:27:30,203
I know we've only just met
1640
01:27:30,204 --> 01:27:33,039
but I know that we belong together.
1641
01:27:33,040 --> 01:27:34,633
I love you.
1642
01:27:36,586 --> 01:27:40,636
So, let's start here and figure
out the next part together.
1643
01:27:42,383 --> 01:27:44,009
That's it.
1644
01:27:44,010 --> 01:27:46,636
Everything I've got and it's yours.
1645
01:27:46,637 --> 01:27:48,847
I could buy you a better beach
in Noosa!
1646
01:27:48,848 --> 01:27:50,724
Dad, stop.
1647
01:27:50,725 --> 01:27:52,559
But he's just a backpacker!
1648
01:27:52,560 --> 01:27:54,853
You were a hitchhiker when I met you!
1649
01:27:54,854 --> 01:27:58,607
It's not about the beach... or luck.
1650
01:27:58,608 --> 01:28:01,067
It's destiny and I love him.
1651
01:28:01,068 --> 01:28:02,903
Run, Mia, run!
1652
01:28:02,904 --> 01:28:04,998
Jim, let go.
1653
01:28:24,133 --> 01:28:26,181
She's really fallen for him. (Laughs)
1654
01:28:29,013 --> 01:28:30,686
BARBARA: Oh...
MIA: David!
1655
01:28:36,979 --> 01:28:40,148
Darling, you may have lost a senator
1656
01:28:40,149 --> 01:28:43,198
but you've gained a
beautiful daughter. Hic!
1657
01:28:45,780 --> 01:28:48,203
- And a beautiful son.
- Ow.
1658
01:28:53,162 --> 01:28:54,871
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine
1659
01:28:54,872 --> 01:28:57,040
♪ You're so fine you
blow my mind Hey, Mickey
1660
01:28:57,041 --> 01:29:00,045
♪ Hey, Mickey, hey, Mickey,
Mickey, Mickey, Mickey... ♪
1661
01:29:02,046 --> 01:29:03,263
(Sobs)
1662
01:29:04,590 --> 01:29:08,218
- What happened to your arm?
- Oh, this?
1663
01:29:08,219 --> 01:29:12,222
Oh, yeah, I just sort of got... shot.
1664
01:29:12,223 --> 01:29:13,849
- Shot?
- Yeah.
1665
01:29:13,850 --> 01:29:16,852
It's OK, though, it's just...
a little bit of flesh wound.
1666
01:29:16,853 --> 01:29:18,645
Ah! Ah!
1667
01:29:18,646 --> 01:29:21,398
♪ When you take me by the
hooves, who's ever gonna know
1668
01:29:21,399 --> 01:29:24,442
♪ And every time you move,
I let a little more show
1669
01:29:24,443 --> 01:29:28,198
♪ There's somethin' we can
use so don't say no, Mickey
1670
01:29:30,867 --> 01:29:34,035
♪ So come on give it to me
any way you can
1671
01:29:34,036 --> 01:29:37,038
♪ Any way you want to,
I'll take it like a man
1672
01:29:37,039 --> 01:29:40,041
♪ Oh, please, baby, please,
don't leave me in the damn... ♪
1673
01:29:40,042 --> 01:29:42,377
Sarah? Yeah, listen, it's me.
1674
01:29:42,378 --> 01:29:43,879
No, don't hang up.
1675
01:29:43,880 --> 01:29:46,172
It's the last time I'm
gonna call you, I swear.
1676
01:29:46,173 --> 01:29:50,553
Just have one teeny, tiny question
I've been wanting to ask.
1677
01:29:52,013 --> 01:29:54,431
TOM: Sorry I almost
fucked up your wedding.
1678
01:29:54,432 --> 01:29:57,642
DAVID: My wedding?
How about my life?
1679
01:29:57,643 --> 01:29:59,811
Well, that's your job, right?
1680
01:29:59,812 --> 01:30:01,860
That's what big brothers do.
1681
01:30:05,359 --> 01:30:07,152
I'm impressed, man.
1682
01:30:07,153 --> 01:30:10,030
You've backed a real winner.
She's perfect.
1683
01:30:10,031 --> 01:30:12,824
Wait, did you just say you were wrong?
1684
01:30:12,825 --> 01:30:15,619
No, I just said I was sorry and
you'll be really fucking sorry
1685
01:30:15,620 --> 01:30:17,746
if that island is too
small for my surfboard.
1686
01:30:17,747 --> 01:30:19,545
Now, come here, man.
1687
01:30:20,791 --> 01:30:22,417
Respect.
1688
01:30:22,418 --> 01:30:25,837
You did it. First out of the gate.
1689
01:30:25,838 --> 01:30:28,048
Fuck knows,
it gives me hope for Graham.
1690
01:30:28,049 --> 01:30:32,218
Guys, I pulled her. I pulled a lesbian.
1691
01:30:32,219 --> 01:30:35,889
- Oh, I don't believe it.
- Guys! He's got a penis!
1692
01:30:35,890 --> 01:30:37,474
Congratulations, man.
1693
01:30:37,475 --> 01:30:39,517
- Oh, great, he's got a penis.
- Whoa...
1694
01:30:39,518 --> 01:30:41,862
(Distant screaming)
- And a massive phone bill.
1695
01:30:44,774 --> 01:30:46,321
Luke?
1696
01:30:48,986 --> 01:30:50,488
LUKE: Help!
1697
01:30:51,489 --> 01:30:53,366
GRAHAM: Oh, shit.
1698
01:30:54,469 --> 01:30:56,034
•Resync by Otaku Gamer•
1699
01:30:56,160 --> 01:31:00,415
OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN: ♪ I
confess my heart's in a mess
1700
01:31:03,167 --> 01:31:07,047
♪ I lost my way and need you to say
1701
01:31:17,390 --> 01:31:22,863
♪ I can tell you I love you
whenever you need reminding
1702
01:31:24,772 --> 01:31:31,403
♪ And be where you go when you
think there'll be no silver lining
1703
01:31:31,404 --> 01:31:34,447
♪ When you need my understanding
1704
01:31:34,448 --> 01:31:39,035
♪ I've given you all that I can give
1705
01:31:39,036 --> 01:31:41,037
♪ And when I'm a fool
1706
01:31:41,038 --> 01:31:45,418
♪ I'm hoping that you'll forgive
1707
01:31:46,585 --> 01:31:49,629
♪ I confess my heart's in a mess
1708
01:31:49,630 --> 01:31:53,425
♪ But you can untangle it
1709
01:31:53,426 --> 01:31:57,053
♪ I lost my way and need you to say
1710
01:31:57,054 --> 01:32:00,223
♪ Say you'll untangle it
1711
01:32:00,224 --> 01:32:03,852
♪ If you show me I'm a keeper
1712
01:32:03,853 --> 01:32:07,188
♪ If you lift me up and love me deeper
1713
01:32:07,189 --> 01:32:12,027
♪ I'm no angel but I promise you this
1714
01:32:12,028 --> 01:32:17,626
♪ I'm gonna be weightless
1715
01:32:30,796 --> 01:32:36,053
♪ I will make you all mine I'm
not giving up for a minute
1716
01:32:38,179 --> 01:32:44,225
♪ But love can be lonely if
you are the only one in it
1717
01:32:44,226 --> 01:32:46,436
♪ I believe
1718
01:32:46,437 --> 01:32:52,192
♪ That any moment you could
be standing at my door
1719
01:32:52,193 --> 01:32:54,319
♪ Don't make it too late
1720
01:32:54,320 --> 01:32:57,290
♪ I don't want to wait no more
1721
01:32:59,992 --> 01:33:03,203
♪ I confess my heart's in a mess
1722
01:33:03,204 --> 01:33:06,414
♪ But you can untangle it
1723
01:33:06,415 --> 01:33:10,418
♪ I'm on my knees
and begging you please
1724
01:33:10,419 --> 01:33:13,630
♪ To say you'll untangle it
1725
01:33:13,631 --> 01:33:17,217
♪ If you show me I'm a keeper
1726
01:33:17,218 --> 01:33:20,845
♪ If you lift me up and love me deeper
1727
01:33:20,846 --> 01:33:25,433
♪ I'm no angel but I promise you this
1728
01:33:25,434 --> 01:33:32,818
♪ I'm gonna be weightless
1729
01:33:39,156 --> 01:33:41,409
♪ Weightless
1730
01:33:57,174 --> 01:33:59,347
♪ Weightless
1731
01:34:13,357 --> 01:34:18,027
♪ Oh, if you show me I'm a keeper
1732
01:34:18,028 --> 01:34:21,614
♪ If you lift me up and love me deeper
1733
01:34:21,615 --> 01:34:26,202
♪ I'm no angel but I promise you this
1734
01:34:26,203 --> 01:34:29,203
♪ I'm gonna be weightless
1735
01:34:35,421 --> 01:34:38,214
♪ I confess my heart's in a mess
1736
01:34:38,215 --> 01:34:41,843
♪ You can untangle it
1737
01:34:41,844 --> 01:34:45,221
♪ I lost my way, I need you to say
1738
01:34:45,222 --> 01:34:48,850
♪ Say you'll untangle it
1739
01:34:48,851 --> 01:34:52,395
♪ I confess my heart's in a mess
1740
01:34:52,396 --> 01:34:56,191
♪ You can untangle it
1741
01:34:56,192 --> 01:34:59,611
♪ On my knees I'm
begging you, please
1742
01:34:59,612 --> 01:35:02,614
♪ Baby untangle it
1743
01:35:02,615 --> 01:35:07,212
♪ I'm gonna be weight...
♪ I'm gonna be weight...
1744
01:35:14,168 --> 01:35:16,170
♪ Less. ♪
1745
01:35:18,172 --> 01:35:21,051
♪ Reggae137844
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