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00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,424
{\an1}[J.J.] I'VE BEEN AWAY A LONG
TIME NEWFOUNDLAND, A LONG TIME!
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00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,092
{\an1}I'M HAPPY TO BE BACK THOUGH!
3
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:12,554
{\an1}THANK YOU. YOU FOUND SOME
OFFSHORE OIL THOUGH, DIDN'T YA?
4
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,142
{\an1}[J.J.] AND PEOPLE DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE MONEY.
5
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,643
{\an1}THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO WITH THE MONEY.
6
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:22,480
{\an1}THE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
DO WITH THE MONEY. THEY DON'T.
7
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:27,485
{\an1}I SAW A GUY DRIVING DOWN
WATER STREET IN A PORSCHE,
8
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:31,698
{\an1}INSIDE A FERRARI,
STUFFED INTO A HUMMER. YES.
9
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,075
{\an1}
[JAKE] SO WHAT,
THIS GUY GETS A STALKER,
10
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,912
{\an1}NOW WE GOTTA BABYSIT
HIM? THAT'S JUST DANDY.
11
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:41,499
{\an1}[STAN] SOAK IT IN, BOYS. THAT
THERE IS A LEGEND. STAN BITTMAN.
12
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:44,169
{\an1}J.J.'S MANAGER.
THANKS FOR COMING IN.
13
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:48,506
{\an1}[J.J.] BE SMART ABOUT IT.
USE THE MONEY WELL.
BUILD A BRIDGE OR SOMETHING.
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00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,717
{\an1}YOU KNOW, GET YOUR
MOUNTAINS DONE.
15
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:54,471
{\an1}BANG THOSE LITTLE FRENCH ISLANDS
THAT YOU'VE HAD YOUR EYE ON.
16
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:57,223
{\an1}
[JAKE] I'M JAKE DOYLE.
THIS IS MY FATHER, MALACHY.
17
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:58,975
{\an1}[MAL] SEEMS YOU PICKED
UP A STALKER.
18
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,769
{\an1}[STAN] YEAH, EVER SINCE
WE LANDED LAST WEEK.
19
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,438
{\an1}WELL, WE'RE TRYING TO
KEEP IN ON THE Q.T. HE'S UP
FOR THIS BIG US PILOT.
20
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,566
{\an1}BUT HE'S OVER REACTING IF YOU
ASK ME. IT'S WHEN THEY STOP
21
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,277
{\an1}STALKING YOU, THAT'S, THAT'S
WHEN YOU WORRY-- ONE, ONE SEC.
22
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,321
{\an1}[JAKE] TV PILOT, HUH?
23
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:16,283
{\an1}[STAN] UH, THE SHOWS BASED ON
SQUID DUDE. OKAY? HUGE HIT FOR
J.J. BACK IN THE DAY.
24
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,912
{\an1}[MAL] AH! SQUID DUDE?
LOCK IT DOWN!
25
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,872
{\an1}[STAN] THAT WAS THE CATCH
PHRASE, YEAH.
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00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,793
{\an1}[J.J.] THE PILOT HAS ONE MORE
THING TO SAY, LOCK IT DOWN!
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00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:28,755
{\an1}
[AUDIENCE MEMBER] J.J.!
28
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,716
{\an1}[J.J.] THANK YOU, NEWFOUNDLAND!
29
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,259
{\an1}THAT'S ALL I GOT!
30
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,220
{\an1}[KENT] J.J. MURPHY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
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00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:42,435
{\an1}[KENT] IT WAS A PLEASURE
HAVING J.J. ON MY STAGE.
32
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,020
{\an1}NOW, UH, DON'T GO AWAY.
[J.J.] WOAH.
33
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,646
{\an1}WE'LL HAVE A SHORT BREAK
AND THEN WE'LL HAVE
34
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,399
{\an1}SOME OF NEWFOUNDLAND'S
FINEST YOUNG COMICS.
[RYAN] J.J.!
35
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,567
{\an1}YO, YOU GOTTA SIGN
THIS. I LOVE YOU, MAN.
36
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:52,487
{\an1}[KENT] 20% OFF WHITE RUSSIANS
ALL NIGHT. ENJOY!
37
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,030
{\an1}[J.J.] UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME
SWEETHEART?
38
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:54,948
{\an1}[ANNETTE] ANNETTE.
39
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,449
{\an1}[J.J.] UH, HI.
40
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,202
{\an1}[RYAN] J.J. GREAT ACT. WE LOVE
YOU! CAN YOU SIGN THAT? LOOK!
41
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,704
{\an1}[J.J.] YEAH.
42
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,247
{\an1}[RYAN] CAN YOU SIGN THAT FOR ME,
PLEASE, PLEASE.
43
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,583
{\an1}[J.J.] OKAY, I GOTTA GO.
THANK YOU.
[RYAN] PLEASE, J.J., J.J.!
44
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:13,008
{\an1}[J.J.] AH! THAT WAS A DISASTER!
45
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:17,095
{\an1}YOU DON'T LIGHT ME FROM
ABOVE LIKE THAT!
I LOOK LIKE A TROLL DOLL!
46
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,304
{\an1}[KENT] STILL THE SAME, HUH, J.J?
47
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,598
{\an1}IT'S NICE TO SEE
THAT YOU'VE MELLOWED!
48
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,642
{\an1}[J.J.] OH-HA, YOU WANT ME TO
BE NICE NOW, KENT,
49
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,436
{\an1}LOOK AT HOW WELL
THAT WORKED OUT IN YOUR LIFE.
50
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:29,315
{\an1}WHAT'S WITH THIS 20% OFF
THE GATE CRAP? YOU KNOW MY DEAL,
MY FEE, PLUS 80%.
51
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:33,987
{\an1}[KENT] TONIGHT'S BOX WENT TO
CHARITY, J.J. I DON'T KNOW WHY
I LET YOU COME INTO MY CLUB.
52
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,448
{\an1}[J.J.] LET ME? LET ME--
YOU BEGGED ME.
53
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:39,826
{\an1}[KENT] BEG? AH, COME--
I DON'T NEED THIS CRAP!
54
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,870
{\an1}[J.J.] ARE YOU GOING NOW?
[JAKE] NOW, THIS IS A SHOW.
55
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,873
{\an1}[J.J.] YOU GONNA LEAVE ALL
THIS GLASS HERE? YOU WANNA SEE
ME CUT MYSELF, IS THAT IT?
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00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,459
{\an1}[STAN] TYLER, CAN YOU GO
CLEAN THAT UP?
[TYLER] NO PROBLEM.
57
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,836
{\an1}[J.J.] I--
[STAN] P.I.'S YOU TOLD ME
TO HIRE.
58
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,839
{\an1}[J.J.] HARDCASTLE AND MCCORMICK,
RIGHT? RIGHT.
59
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,466
{\an1}OKAY, I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP
THE DINGDONGS AWAY FROM ME.
60
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,177
{\an1}ANYONE CERTIFIABLE SHOW
THEM TO THE DOOR.
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00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,554
{\an1}[JAKE] WE'RE DETECTIVES.
WE DON'T DO SECURITY.
62
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,474
{\an1}[J.J.] AW, SENSITIVE BODY
GUARDS. JUST WHAT I WAS
LOOKING FOR.
63
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,727
{\an1}FIND THE STALKER AND
SHUT HIM UP, OKAY?
64
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:09,439
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL WE JUST-- WE NEED TO
ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.
65
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,857
{\an1}[STAN] YOU CAN DIRECT YOUR
QUESTIONS TO ME.
66
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,865
{\an1}[J.J.] GET THAT THING
OUT OF HERE!
67
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,617
{\an1}[JAKE] NOW THAT'S FUNNY.
68
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:25,038
{\an1}[J.J.] AW.
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00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,672
{\an1}*OH YEAH*
*OH YEAH*
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00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,675
{\an1}*OH YEAH*
*OH YEAH*
71
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:40,178
{\an1}*OH, YEAH-E-YEAH-E-YEAH-E-YEAH*
72
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,014
{\an1}*OH, YEAH-E-YEAH-E-YEAH-E-YEAH*
73
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:44,391
{\an1}*OH YEAH*
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00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,730
{\an1}[J.J.] AS IF BEING ON THIS GOD
FORSAKEN ROCK WASN'T ENOUGH.
75
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,524
{\an1}I HATE CLOWNS! STAN, I HATE 'EM!
76
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,984
{\an1}[STAN] I KNOW, J.J.,
JUST TRY TO STAY CALM.
77
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,737
{\an1}[J.J.] LOOK, I WANTED TO GET MY
GAME BACK IN FRONT OF MORONS
78
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,699
{\an1}WHO DON'T KNOW BETTER THEN WORK
MY WAY BACK TO REAL CITIES.
79
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,701
{\an1}[STAN] HIRING PRIVATE
INVESTIGATORS IS
A TAD EXCESSIVE.
80
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,703
{\an1}[J.J.] NO. KEEP THIS STALKER,
WHATEVER, QUIET.
81
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:05,662
{\an1}[JAKE] QUIET? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
82
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,580
{\an1}[J.J.] SO WE DON'T SPOOK
THE NETWORK.
83
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,207
{\an1}[STAN] THE EXECS ARE COMING
UP THIS WEEKEND.
84
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,334
{\an1}[JAKE] RIGHT, BUT, HAVING
A STALKER, ISN'T THAT
A GOOD THING?
85
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,211
{\an1}MAKE YOU SEEM MORE
IMPORTANT, OR WHATEVER?
86
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,507
{\an1}[J.J.] OKAY. NOW THE SENSITIVE
BODY GUARD IS GIVING ME
SHOW BIZ ADVICE.
87
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,804
{\an1}ALLOW ME TO RECIPROCATE,
FIND THE STALKER!
88
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,931
{\an1}[JAKE] "DEAD MEN DON'T LAUGH."
89
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,391
{\an1}
[MAL] ANY IDEA WHAT
THIS NOTE MEANS?
90
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,394
{\an1}[J.J.] NO. BUT THE LOGIC HOLDS
UP, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
91
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,979
{\an1}[TYLER] IT'S PAM, NETWORK.
92
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:35,442
{\an1}[J.J.] PAMCAKES! YEAH. NO, NO,
NO. I COULDN'T BE BETTER,
93
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,444
{\an1}UNLESS I WAS IN A
BATHTUB WITH YOU!
94
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,571
{\an1}[TYLER] I'M, UH, TYLER.
[MAL] MAL.
95
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,948
{\an1}[TYLER] THE BOTTLE WASHER
AROUND HERE, AND COOK,
AND PILLOW FLUFFER.
96
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,117
{\an1}J.J. MAY SEEM LIKE A
JERK, BUT HE'S ACTUALLY COOL.
97
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,119
{\an1}[MAL] OH, YOU WANNA BE A
COMIC, TYLER?
98
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,580
{\an1}[TYLER] I AM A COMEDIAN,
AND A SCREENWRITER.
99
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,415
{\an1}THE WORLD JUST
DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.
100
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:54,252
{\an1}[J.J.] TYLER! FOOD! STAN,
BRING THE CAR AROUND, MORON!
101
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,670
{\an1}DON'T BE A MORON LIKE STAN.
102
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,796
{\an1}[TYLER] I WON'T.
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00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,798
{\an1}[J.J.] AND 25 NEW JOKES
FOR BREAKFAST, OKAY?
104
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,550
{\an1}NONE OF THAT "NEWFIE" CRAP.
THEY HATE THAT HERE.
105
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,635
{\an1}[TYLER] NO "NEWFIE",
OKAY, GOT IT.
106
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,220
{\an1}[J.J.] OKAY. LET'S FIND
THE MANIAC STALKER
107
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,723
{\an1}BEFORE THE NETWORK GETS
HERE ON SATURDAY.
108
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,017
{\an1}[JAKE] THIS MIGHT BE
A STUPID QUESTION, BUT, UM,
109
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:12,228
{\an1}DO YOU KNOW OF ANYONE WHO MIGHT
HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST YOU? OR?
110
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:16,983
{\an1}[J.J.] JUST GOOGLE ME TO FIND
OUT, HOTSHOT. FIND THE FREAK.
111
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:21,237
{\an1}[MAL] LOOK. THERE'S
OUR CLUB OWNER, KENT.
112
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,406
{\an1}[JAKE] LOOK AT THAT
HAIR. "CATFUD."
113
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,159
{\an1}NOTHING SAYS THE 80'S
LIKE A MOUNT PEARL CURL, HUH.
114
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,751
{\an1}[LESLIE] HEY. HOW ARE YA?
115
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:42,050
{\an1}GOOD. YEAH, ME TOO.
116
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:47,013
{\an1}UH, LISTEN, I'LL HAVE TO-- I'LL
CALL YOU BACK LATER. BYE.
117
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:50,933
{\an1}[HOOD] I PUT HONEY IN INSTEAD OF
SUGAR. IT'S BETTER FOR YOU.
118
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,269
{\an1}YOU'RE ALL SMILES.
119
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,270
{\an1}[LESLIE] WHAT. SO?
120
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,356
{\an1}[HOOD] I'M JUST SAYING.
YOU LOOK HAPPY.
121
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,858
{\an1}[LESLIE] FRANKLY, IT'S NONE OF
YOUR BUSINESS. I'M YOUR PARTNER;
122
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,612
{\an1}NOT YOUR LITTLE SISTER,
NOT YOUR WIFE. GOT ME?
123
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,700
{\an1}[CHANTEL] I TALKED TO DYLAN.
124
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,910
{\an1}HE'S PRIME TO BUY
THE WHOLE CROP.
125
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,496
{\an1}[TINNY] DYLAN? THE GUY WHO
STIFFED YOU FOR THE EQUIPMENT?
126
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,747
{\an1}THAT'S WHO YOU WANT TO SELL TO?
127
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,791
{\an1}[CHANTEL] HE'S THE ONLY DEALER
I KNOW.
128
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,627
{\an1}[TINNY] HE CAN'T COME HERE.
NO ONE CAN.
129
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:21,506
{\an1}[CHANTEL] I ALREADY TEXTED HIM
THE ADDRESS. HE ISN'T MAD THAT
YOU KICKED HIM IN THE NADS.
130
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,634
{\an1}[TINNY] WHAT PART OF SECRET
UNDERGROUND DRUG OPERATION
DIDN'T YOU GET?
131
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:28,596
{\an1}[CHANTEL] HE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE.
YOU COULD THINK ABOUT HAVING
SOME FUN ONCE IN A WHILE.
132
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:33,018
{\an1}HIS CAR'S IN RIGHT-HAND DRIVE,
AND YOU WANNA GO TO LONDON.
IT'S KARMA.
133
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:35,145
{\an1}
[TINNY] YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
134
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,648
{\an1}[CHANTEL] AND I'M
YOUR BEST FRIEND.
WHAT'S THAT SAY ABOUT YOU?
135
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,865
{\an1}[MAL] ENEMIES OF J.J. MURPHY?
136
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,658
{\an1}[JAKE] I JUST MET THE GUY AND
I WANT TO KILL HIM.
137
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:52,412
{\an1}[DES] SO THIS IS THE STUFF
THEY'VE GOTTEN FROM THE STALKER?
138
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,247
{\an1}[JAKE] IS THAT MOULD?
139
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,916
{\an1}[DES] J.J.'S A BIT OF A
GERMAPHOBE. THE STALKER'S
TRYING TO FREAK HIM OUT.
140
00:06:56,957 --> 00:06:59,127
{\an1}[ROSE] PLUS THE STOLE SOME
CLOTHES AND HAIR BRUSH.
141
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,921
{\an1}[DES] YOU KNOW, IF I WAS
A STALKER, I'D GO FOR
THE GOOD STUFF LIKE,
142
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,882
{\an1}YOU KNOW, LIKE A JOURNAL,
YOU KNOW A CUTE PICTURE. OR
143
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:08,136
{\an1}THAT PRETTY ANKLET
SHE ALWAYS WEARS.
144
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:12,057
{\an1}I MEAN HE WEARS. I MEAN,
YES, YES, WHAT?
145
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,642
{\an1}[JAKE] MAYBE THE STALKER'S
SOMEONE J.J. KNOWS, LIKE, UH,
146
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,144
{\an1}AN EX-GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING?
147
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,937
{\an1}[DES] MARLON BRANDO HAD A
STALKER WHO WANTED TO KILL
148
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:22,734
{\an1}AND EAT HIM-- OH MY GOD!
IS THAT A CLOWN IN A JAR?
149
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,944
{\an1}[ROSE] GUYS? OKAY,
CHECK THIS OUT,
150
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:28,073
{\an1}"DEAD MEN DON'T LAUGH."
THAT'S A STRANGE THREAT,
DON'T YOU THINK?
151
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,199
{\an1}[JAKE] YOU DIDN'T SEE HIS ACT.
152
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,284
{\an1}[MAL] WHATCHA DIG UP
ABOUT OL' J.J.?
153
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,870
{\an1}[ROSE] WELL, UH, NEVER BEEN
MARRIED. NO FAMILY TO SPEAK OF.
154
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,289
{\an1}LEFT THE ISLAND ABOUT 26 YEARS
AGO, MOVED TO NEW YORK,
155
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,500
{\an1}HIT IT BIG WITH
SQUID DUDE ON SNL.
156
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,085
{\an1}[DES] LOCK IT DOWN!
157
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,545
{\an1}
[DES] THAT ONE SKETCH
WHERE SQUID DUDE,
158
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:46,925
{\an1}AND HE'S SO NERVOUS AND HE KEEPS
LOCKIN' THE PRISON DOWN.
159
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,844
{\an1}IT'S HIS, IT'S HIS, UH,
BEST, BEST WORK, I THINK.
160
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,137
{\an1}[MAL] WHAT ABOUT J.J.'S STAFF?
161
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:54,099
{\an1}[ROSE] MANAGER HERE HAS BEEN
WITH HIM FOR 5 YEARS.
162
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,601
{\an1}SINGLE-HANDEDLY GOT J.J. BACK
INTO THE MAIN STREAM. AND THEN
163
00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:02,065
{\an1}TYLER IS THE THIRD INTERN HIRED
IN A YEAR. AND THIS GUY, KENT,
164
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,026
{\an1}CLUB OWNER. HE AND J.J. USED TO
HAVE A COMEDY ACT TOGETHER,
165
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,529
{\an1}AND J.J. DUMPED HIM
WHEN HE HIT IT BIG.
166
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,656
{\an1}[JAKE] WHAT ABOUT MRS. WITH THE,
UH, HAIR?
167
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:13,243
{\an1}[ROSE] RHONDA STRIDE. I CANNOT
FIND ANYTHING ON HER. IT'S LIKE
SHE DISAPPEARED.
168
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:16,121
{\an1}[JAKE] ALRIGHT, FATHER,
LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING
I SUPPOSE.
169
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,080
{\an1}[MAL] YEAH.
170
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,668
{\an1}[JAKE] SO KENT'S HIS OLD IMPROV
PARTNER, SO WHAT?
171
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,670
{\an1}[MAL] WE SHOULD TALK TO HIM.
172
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:28,717
{\an1}[JAKE] UH, JUST GIVE ME A
SECOND, ALRIGHT? HEY THERE.
173
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:33,179
{\an1}[ALLISON] HI. STAKING OUT
PARKING METERS? THAT'S GOOD,
NO JOB TOO SMALL, HUH?
174
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:37,933
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH, HUH. WELL
THIS IS, UH, A REAL
COINCIDENCE SEEING YOU HERE.
175
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,815
{\an1}WHY IS IT I, UH,
ALWAYS FEEL SO NERVOUS
AROUND YOU?
176
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,608
{\an1}[ALLISON] YOU'RE NERVOUS
AROUND ME?
177
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:52,240
{\an1}[JAKE] MAYBE ITS, UM, BECAUSE
YOU'RE SUCH A POWERFUL TYPE.
PERSON, WOMAN.
178
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,577
{\an1}[ALLISON] AND DO YOU HAVE A
PROBLEM WITH POWERFUL
PERSON WOMEN?
179
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,079
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL NOT IN GENERAL. I
MEAN, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
180
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:01,332
{\an1}WITH POWERFUL PEOPLE AT ALL,
UNLESS THEY'RE, OF COURSE,
MEAT HEADS.
181
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,209
{\an1}[ALLISON] ELOQUENT.
182
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:09,174
{\an1}[JAKE] LET'S GO OUT. SERIOUSLY.
183
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,551
{\an1}[ALLISON] THAT'S IT?
THAT'S YOUR PITCH?
184
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:12,552
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH.
185
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,137
{\an1}[ALLISON] DOES THAT USUALLY WORK
FOR YOU?
186
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,347
{\an1}[JAKE] NOPE.
187
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,390
{\an1}
[ALLISON] BUT YOU KEEP TRYING.
188
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,142
{\an1}PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.
189
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,689
{\an1}[JAKE] WHAT?
190
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,983
{\an1}[MAL] TAKE YOUR BALL
AND GO HOME, SON.
SHE'S OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.
191
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:30,028
{\an1}[JAKE] YOU KNOW, IT'S YOUR
CONSTANT SUPPORT THAT SEES
ME THROUGH THE TROUBLING TIMES.
192
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,404
{\an1}[MAL] I DO WHAT I CAN.
193
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,825
{\an1}ZERO CHANCE WITH THAT
LAWYER. ZERO.
194
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,453
{\an1}[JAKE] THOSE, UH, HOW TO
INSPIRE YOUR FAMILY TAPES,
195
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,413
{\an1}THEY'RE REALLY PAYING OFF.
196
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,706
{\an1}[MAL] NO HOPE.
197
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,709
{\an1}[KENT] THAT'S GOOD.
[PHOTOGRAPHER] YEAH.
198
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,757
{\an1}[KENT] BOX OFFICE DOESN'T OPEN
UNTIL NOON, FELLAS.
199
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,051
{\an1}[JAKE] WE WORK FOR J.J. MURPHY.
200
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:57,055
{\an1}THIS MALACHY, I'M JAKE DOYLE.
WE WERE HERE LAST NIGHT WHEN HE
HAD HIS LITTLE CLOWN INCIDENT.
201
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:01,559
{\an1}[KENT] RIGHT. BODYGUARDS.
I REMEMBER A TIME, YEARS AGO,
202
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,104
{\an1}WHEN J.J. ALMOST WET
HIMSELF AT THE SOUND OF
AN ICE CREAM TRUCK.
203
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,314
{\an1}
[KENT] YEAH,
204
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:10,860
{\an1}CREEPY CLOWN INCIDENT.
I DON'T KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE,
BUT WHOEVER IT IS,
205
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,113
{\an1}I'M A HUGE FAN.
206
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:17,784
{\an1}[JAKE] REALLY? IT WOULDN'T
HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH AN
OLD "CATFUD" GRUDGE, WOULD IT?
207
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,661
{\an1}[KENT] THAT WAS ANOTHER LIFE.
208
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:24,207
{\an1}[MAL] J.J. MAKES IT BIG.
YOU RUN A CLUB.
MIGHT MAKE A GUY A TAD BITTER?
209
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,668
{\an1}[KENT] I OWN THE CLUB.
HE'S PLAYIN' IT.
210
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,628
{\an1}WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.
211
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,673
{\an1}[JAKE] AFTER J.J. BAILED
ON YOU, WHY DIDN'T YOU,
AND UH, RHONDA HERE,
212
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,466
{\an1}CARRY ON WITH THE TROOP?
213
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,344
{\an1}[MAL] SPEAKING OF RHONDA,
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHERE WE MIGHT FIND HER?
214
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:40,432
{\an1}[KENT] NO. I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN
YEARS. J.J.'S BIG COMEBACK,
215
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,393
{\an1}MAKES A SECOND FALL
THAT MUCH SWEETER.
216
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,861
{\an1}[MAL] HEY, THAT'S THE CREEPY KID
WE SAW AT THE CLUB.
217
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:58,908
{\an1}[JAKE] SO IT IS. HEY, BUDDY.
DO YOU GOT A SEC?
I JUST NEED TO TALK...
218
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,495
{\an1}TO... YOU.
219
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:20,013
{\an1}[JAKE] HEY! KID! I THOUGHT YOU
WANTED TO MEET J.J. I CAN
INTRODUCE YOU IF YOU LIKE.
220
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:26,770
{\an1}HE'S A SWELL GUY. MAYBE I
CAN GET YOU AN AUTOGRAPH?
221
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,611
{\an1}[MAL] SO YOU LOST HIM, DID YA?
COULDA MADE THAT HAPPEN MYSELF.
222
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:38,573
{\an1}[JAKE] AH-HA-HA. LOOK
WHAT HE LEFT BEHIND.
VINTAGE J.J. MATERIAL.
223
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,533
{\an1}[MAL] HE MUSTA BEEN PRETTY
SCARED OFF TO LEAVE IT.
224
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:44,537
{\an1}[STAN] HEY, HEY, HEY LEAH! IS
THAT OUR GARBAGE?
225
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,331
{\an1}[LEAH] YOU GOT YOUR JOB, STAN,
I GOT MINE.
226
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:51,378
{\an1}[STAN] GET OUTA HERE! AND YOU,
YOU ARE SO FIRED.
227
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,130
{\an1}[MAL] I CAN SEE WHY THEY CALL IT
THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS.
228
00:11:56,341 --> 00:12:03,223
{\an1}[J.J.] MORE, MORE, MORE.
229
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,601
{\an1}TOO MUCH! SCRAPE IT OFF.
230
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,270
{\an1}NOT WITH YOUR FINGER.
231
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:14,984
{\an1}LEAH JORDAN IS A BLOGGER.
LEAH'S LOWDOWN, NEED I SAY MORE?
232
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,277
{\an1}[MAL] WHAT WAS SHE LOOKING FOR?
233
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,239
{\an1}[J.J.] TYLER? JOKES? WHATTA YA
GOT?
234
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,616
{\an1}[TYLER] UH, AT DINNER, EVERYONE
AT MY HOUSE USED TO ASK FOR
235
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,660
{\an1}THE TURKEY LEG. DAD WOULD SAY,
"WHAT DO YOU THINK WE HAVE HERE?
236
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:27,330
{\an1}A SPIDER?"
237
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,748
{\an1}[J.J.] PASS.
238
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,084
{\an1}[TYLER] ONE TIME I WAS ON A
PLANE, ABOUT TO LAND--
239
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:34,212
{\an1}[J.J.] AWFUL, JUST AWFUL!
YOU'RE GETTING WORSE.
THEY'RE JUST TERRIBLE.
240
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,089
{\an1}GO OVER THERE
SOMEWHERE.
241
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,258
{\an1}[JAKE] HEY, DON RICKLES, FOCUS.
242
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,010
{\an1}WHY WAS LEAH JORDAN GOING
THROUGH YOUR TRASH?
243
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,136
{\an1}[J.J.] WELL, HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
244
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,513
{\an1}[STAN] I'M TELLING YA,
SHE'S YOUR STALKER.
245
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,890
{\an1}WHY WAIT FOR A STORY, WHEN
YOU COULD CREATE IT YOURSELF?
246
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:46,933
{\an1}IT'S HER WAY OF MAKING NEWS.
247
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,310
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH? WHAT ABOUT
KENT AND RHONDA?
248
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,312
{\an1}[J.J.] OH,
THOSE TWO COMIC HACKS.
I CARRIED THEM FOR 5 YEARS,
249
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:54,858
{\an1}AND THEY HAVE A BEEF WITH ME?
THEY WERE LIKE LEECHES.
THEY WERE LIKE--
250
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,694
{\an1}[TYLER] LIKE LEECHES
DOCTORS WERE USING THEM
TO CURE INFECTION.
251
00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:00,238
{\an1}[J.J.] YES, THAT'S NOT BAD.
252
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,699
{\an1}THAT'S, THAT'S GETTING THERE.
253
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,126
{\an1}[STAN] WOAH, WOAH.
254
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,879
{\an1}[JAKE] HE'S STILL BREATHING.
TYLER, CALL AN AMBULANCE!
255
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,093
{\an1}[NIKKI] WE PUMPED HIS STOMACH,
AND WE'RE WAITING ON
THE LAB RESULTS.
256
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,928
{\an1}[JAKE] OKAY, WELL I'M PRETTY
SURE HE WAS POISONED.
257
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,597
{\an1}SO, IF YOU
FIND ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW.
258
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,974
{\an1}[NIKKI] IF I COULD TEST
THE FOOD HE WAS EATING,
THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL.
259
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,851
{\an1}[JAKE] ALRIGHT, I'LL FIND THE
FOOD, NO PROBLEM.
260
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,562
{\an1}[NIKKI] HEY, UM, IF YOU COMMIT
TO DINNER SATURDAY NIGHT,
261
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:37,734
{\an1}I WILL DO THAT FOR YOU.
PLEASE. DAVID IS A REALLY
GOOD GUY, JAKE.
262
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:42,155
{\an1}[JAKE] LOOK, NIKKI, I CAN SEE
HOW DINNER WITH YOU AND YOUR NEW
FIANCE, SLASH DIVORCE LAWYER,
263
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:46,659
{\an1}WHO HAPPENED TO ROB ME BLIND IN
OUR SETTLEMENT WOULD BE FUN
FOR YOU, BUT ME, NOT SO MUCH.
264
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:51,456
{\an1}UH... FINE.
265
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:56,586
{\an1}[NIKKI] GREAT. SATURDAY,
8. AND DON'T USE THAT
THING IN THE HOSPITAL.
266
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:02,217
{\an1}
[DES] HELLO?
JAKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
267
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,720
{\an1}ME? I'M SLAYING
MONSTERS, METAPHORICALLY
SPEAKING OF COURSE.
268
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,847
{\an1}[JAKE] WHATEVER. DES, FIND THE
FOOD THAT J.J. WAS EATING AND
269
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,849
{\an1}BRING IT TO THE HOSPITAL
FOR NIKKI, OKAY?
270
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,352
{\an1}[DES] OH, NO, WE THREW
IT OUT, MAN. J.J. HATES
WHEN THERE'S FOOD AROUND.
271
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,604
{\an1}IT'S IN THE GARBAGE.
[JAKE] I DON'T CARE! FIND IT.
272
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:18,024
{\an1}THE OTHER OPTION IS YOU CAN SORT
THROUGH THE REMNANTS OF J.J.'S
BOWEL MOVEMENTS.
273
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:21,778
{\an1}[DES] HEY, HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE TO GET INTO THE BOWELS
OF PRIVATE INVESTIGATING?
274
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,448
{\an1}[J.J.] GOOD MORNING.
275
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:28,201
{\an1}[LEAH] J.J., WHAT HAPPENED?
DID SOMEONE REALLY TRY
TO POISON YOU?
276
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:32,122
{\an1}[J.J.] NO. BUT I LEARNED
SOMETHING, IF YOU WANT
TO EAT ENDANGERED SPECIES,
277
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,540
{\an1}MAKE SURE THEY'RE DECLAWED.
278
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,128
{\an1}[LEAH] IT'S ALL A BIG JOKE,
ISN'T IT, J.J.?
YOU WERE POISONED BY A STALKER.
279
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:41,589
{\an1}YOU'VE BEEN THREATENED BEFORE?
280
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:45,176
{\an1}[J.J.] LEAH JORDAN, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THINKS THAT WRITING
A BLOG MEANS SHE'S A JOURNALIST.
281
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,721
{\an1}
[LEAH] "SHUT UP AND DANCE."
282
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:52,017
{\an1}"LAST CHANCE TO LEAVE."
"END OF THE LAUGH LINE."
283
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,020
{\an1}I FOUND THESE IN YOUR GARBAGE,
YOU'VE BEEN RECEIVING
DEATH THREATS.
284
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,230
{\an1}[STAN] OKAY, UH,
HE'S GOTTA GET HIS REST.
285
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,190
{\an1}[J.J.] SEE YA, FOLKS!
LOCK IT DOWN!
286
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,192
{\an1}[STAN] GIVE ME THOSE! I'M NOT
PLAYING WITH YA, LEAH.
287
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,236
{\an1}NEXT TIME,
I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED.
288
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,620
{\an1}[JAKE] J.J.'S HIDING
SOMETHING FROM US.
289
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:15,373
{\an1}[MAL] QUESTION IS, WHY?
290
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,544
{\an1}[CHANTEL] TINNY? IT'S DYLAN.
291
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,920
{\an1}HE'S HERE TO SEE YOU.
292
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,047
{\an1}[TINNY] YOU INVITED HIM.
293
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,673
{\an1}[DYLAN] WHAT'S GOING ON, LADIES?
294
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:30,513
{\an1}IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY. WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE? EXPERT WORK.
295
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,474
{\an1}I'M WEARING A CUP THIS TIME.
296
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,685
{\an1}[TINNY] REALLY? YOU CAN'T TELL.
297
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:39,522
{\an1}[DYLAN] YOU GOT ANY BEERS?
YOU KNOW, MAKE A LITTLE
TOAST TO NEW BUSINESS?
298
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:43,443
{\an1}[CHANTEL] THERE'S, EH UH, PEACH
COOLER IN THE FRIDGE.
299
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,779
{\an1}[DYLAN] OH, UH, CALL SOME
PEOPLE, HAVE A LITTLE PARTY.
300
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,405
{\an1}[CHANTEL] SOUNDS GREAT.
301
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,574
{\an1}[DYLAN] YOU COOL WITH THAT,
TIN-TIN?
302
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:54,788
{\an1}[TINNY] JUST POST THE GROW-OP ON
FACEBOOK, AND THEN EVERY SKEET
IN TOWN CAN COME RIP US OFF.
303
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:58,667
{\an1}[DYLAN] YOU'RE FUNNY.
I LIKE FUNNY GIRLS.
304
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,461
{\an1}[TINNY] AND I LIKE SMART GUYS.
305
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:05,215
{\an1}AND CALL ME TIN-TIN AGAIN,
AND YOU'LL NEED MORE THAN
A CUP TO PROTECT YOU.
306
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:10,220
{\an1}[TYLER] P.I., SOUNDS COOL, I
MEAN WHEN YOU'RE NOT DIGGING
THROUGH GARBAGE.
307
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:13,723
{\an1}[DES] YEAH, IT'S LIKE,
I GOT THIS BRAIN, RIGHT,
308
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:18,478
{\an1}THAT'S JUST LIKE NATURALLY
INCLINED TOWARDS LIKE,
LOGIC AND INVESTIGATION.
309
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,022
{\an1}IT'D BE A SIN TO WASTE, MAN.
[TYLER] UH-HUH.
310
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:25,151
{\an1}[DES] LOOK AT THIS!
WHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN?
OUR PLANET, OUR HOME!
311
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:26,986
{\an1}SORRY.
312
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:29,072
{\an1}[TYLER] IT'S OKAY.
313
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,032
{\an1}[DES] SO, UH,
YOU WANT TO BE A COMEDIAN?
314
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,243
{\an1}[TYLER] YEAH.
AND A SCREENWRITER.
315
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,036
{\an1}I'VE GOT THIS
"SQUID DUDE" SCRIPT.
316
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:38,456
{\an1}J.J.'S GONNA READ IT
WHEN HE GETS A SEC.
IT'S ALL ABOUT TIMING, RIGHT?
317
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,668
{\an1}[DES] TIMING, YEAH, MAN.
FOR SURE. YOU KNOW, AND SKILL.
318
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,796
{\an1}AND TALENT HELPS. AND LUCK,
BUT IT'S MOSTLY TALENT.
319
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:50,176
{\an1}[TYLER] YO, YO! CHECK IT OUT.
320
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:54,180
{\an1}[DES] AH, NICE WORK MAN! MAN.
321
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,598
{\an1}[TYLER] OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE IT.
322
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,977
{\an1}[DES] SORRY, SORRY, MAN. I JUST
GOT A LITTLE EXCITED--
323
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,938
{\an1}SOMETHING'S ALIVE!
SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME!
SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME!
324
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,315
{\an1}[ROSE] OKAY. "LEAH'S LOWDOWN."
325
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,693
{\an1}SHE'S A BIG FAN OF HIS OLD
MATERIAL, AND IT LOOKS LIKE HER
326
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,069
{\an1}BLOG HAS PUT HIM BACK ON THE
NETWORK RADAR.
327
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:10,363
{\an1}[JAKE] SO SHE LOVED HIM ONCE.
328
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:11,990
{\an1}[MAL] AND NOW SHE SUDDENLY HATES
HIS GUTS.
329
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,867
{\an1}[JAKE] SOUNDS LIKE EVERY
RELATIONSHIP I'VE EVER HAD. HOW
330
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:17,037
{\an1}MUCH YOU WANNA BET THAT SAYS
J.J. WAS SLEEPING WITH HER? IT'S
331
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,329
{\an1}ALWAYS ABOUT THE SEX.
332
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,914
{\an1}[ROSE] OH, HELL HATH NO FURY.
333
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,458
{\an1}[JAKE] LIKE A PERSON DUMPED.
334
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,877
{\an1}EXACTLY. WHAT ABOUT RHONDA?
335
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,211
{\an1}[ROSE] I SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW.
336
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,880
{\an1}THERE'S NO RHONDA STRIDE
ANYWHERE ON THIS ISLAND. MAYBE
337
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,923
{\an1}SHE CHANGED HER NAME?
338
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,134
{\an1}[JAKE] WOULD YOU MIND
LOOKING INTO THAT FOR US?
[ROSE] YEAH.
339
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:34,929
{\an1}[JAKE] I'M GONNA GO TO
THE HOTEL, SEE WHO'S COMING
AND GOING.
340
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:39,809
{\an1}[MAL] YOU, UH, YOU WANNA GO TO
THE HALL OF RECORDS, DIG AROUND
SOME OLD FILES?
341
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:43,063
{\an1}[ROSE] YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO
TALK TO A GIRL. GET HER ALL HOT
AND BOTHERED.
342
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,231
{\an1}[MAL] THEY HAVE PERIODICALS.
343
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:49,569
{\an1}[ROSE] AH, LET'S GO! HEY WHAT
ARE YOU UP TO?
344
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,155
{\an1}[DES] UH, I'M READING THE
SCRIPT, "THE SQUID DUDE AND
THE BOY FROM BAY BULLS."
345
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:55,950
{\an1}IT'S TYLER'S SCRIPT.
I'M ALREADY ON ACT 9, AND
IT'S PRETTY WICKED.
346
00:17:55,992 --> 00:18:00,372
{\an1}ALTHOUGH THE PARALLELS
WITHIN THE NARRATIVE
ARE SOMEWHAT OPAQUE.
347
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,540
{\an1}COULD DO WITH A BIT MORE
NUDITY THOUGH.
348
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,917
{\an1}[ROSE] LET'S GO.
349
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,216
{\an1}[JAKE] PURSUING? I'M NOT
PURSUING ANYONE. I ASKED HER
OUT. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
350
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,468
{\an1}[WALTER] I WORK WITH HER, JAKE.
351
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:16,221
{\an1}LOOK, ALL I ASK, IS THAT YOU
DON'T MAKE THIS MY PROBLEM,
SERIOUSLY.
352
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:19,641
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL WHY DID YOU,
YOU KNOW, INTRODUCE ME
TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?
353
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:24,437
{\an1}[WALTER] JAKE, YOU DON'T
NEED TO SLEEP WITH EVERY
WOMAN I INTRODUCE YOU TO.
354
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:27,691
{\an1}ALTHOUGH SHE IS
EXTRAORDINARILY HOT.
355
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,193
{\an1}[JAKE] HOLD ON FOR A SECOND.
I'VE GOT ANOTHER CALL. YEAH?
356
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:33,071
{\an1}[ALLISON] HOW'S THE PITCH
COMING?
357
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:37,742
{\an1}[JAKE] ALLISON! HEY-HI-HELLO
THERE. HOW, HOW ARE YOU?
358
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,828
{\an1}[ALLISON] SO?
359
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,830
{\an1}[JAKE] YES.
360
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:47,877
{\an1}[ALLISON] YES? I THINK WHAT YOU
MEAN IS SATURDAY NIGHT,
8 O'CLOCK, DINNER. PICK ME UP.
361
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:52,007
{\an1}[JAKE] DO-DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU
PICK ME UP, OR I PICK YOU UP?
362
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,467
{\an1}[ALLISON] YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
363
00:18:54,509 --> 00:19:00,724
{\an1}[JAKE] OH, WHA-WAIT-- AH,
I CAN'T DO--
364
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,101
{\an1}WALTER, BUDDY,
I GOTTA GO. I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
365
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,186
{\an1}[ALLISON] WALTER.
366
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:17,407
{\an1}[NIKKI] SO, I'VE SETTLED ON
PRIME RIB FOR SATURDAY
367
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:21,786
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH, UH, LISTEN. ABOUT
THAT, SOMETHING KINDA CAME UP.
368
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:26,791
{\an1}[NIKKI] NO DINNER,
NO TOX REPORT. GOT ME?
369
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,626
{\an1}[JAKE] I LOVE PRIME RIB.
370
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,964
{\an1}[NIKKI] PERFECT. SO, DES DROPPED
BY WITH A NASTY BIT OF TUNA.
371
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,382
{\an1}IT WAS FILLED WITH
GLYCOPYRRONIUM.
372
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,634
{\an1}[JAKE] GLYCOPER-WHAT?
373
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,846
{\an1}[NIKKI] MEDICATION USED IN
TERMINAL CARE. IT MAKES IT HARD
TO BREATHE FOR A HEALTHY PERSON.
374
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:43,600
{\an1}[JAKE] REALLY? UH, THANK YOU. I
APPRECIATE IT. CAN I KEEP THIS?
375
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,561
{\an1}[NIKKI] MHMM. SATURDAY. NO
EXCUSES. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
376
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:49,564
{\an1}[JAKE] I'VE GOT YOUR NEW FIANCE
TO THANK FOR THAT.
377
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:59,824
{\an1}[ROSE] OKAY. RHONADA GIRL,
WHERE ARE YOU? OH! AH, HI.
378
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,663
{\an1}[ROSE] WHERE IS THIS COMING
FROM ALL OF A SUDDEN?
379
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,500
{\an1}[MAL] I DON'T KNOW,
BUT EVERYTHING JUST SEEMS RIGHT
IN THE WORLD.
380
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,920
{\an1}I'M FEELING GREAT.
YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT.
381
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:15,048
{\an1}EVEN THE GRANDDAUGHTER
WE HAVE AT HOME IS ACTING GREAT,
DON'T YA THINK?
382
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,550
{\an1}[ROSE] TINNY'S REALLY GROWING
INTO HERSELF, ISN'T SHE?
383
00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:19,636
{\an1}[MAL] I'LL HAVE YOU
ALL TO ME SELF.
384
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:23,848
{\an1}[ROSE] NOW, QUESTION IS, WHAT
ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ME?
385
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,600
{\an1}[MAL] HMMM.
386
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,481
{\an1}[MAL] LET'S GO.
387
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:35,151
{\an1}[TYLER] A PALLIATIVE CARE DRUG?
388
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,986
{\an1}WHO WOULD DO THAT
TO J.J.?
389
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,531
{\an1}[J.J.] MY SERIES IS ABOUT TO BE
ORDERED. JUST WHEN THINGS ARE
390
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,492
{\an1}GOING RIGHT FOR ME--
[JAKE] OKAY, J.J., SIT DOWN.
391
00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:47,330
{\an1}I NEED YOU TO STAY CALM,
ALRIGHT. NOW, LEAH JORDAN.
YOU WANNA TELL ME ABOUT HER?
392
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:51,960
{\an1}ANY IDEA WHY SHE'D BE HANGING
OUT WITH YOUR OLD COMEDY
PARTNER, KENT?
393
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,337
{\an1}[STAN] JAKE! WHY AREN'T YOU
DRESSED? WE HAVE THE THING WITH
THE MAYOR IN AN HOUR.
394
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,548
{\an1}[TYLER] HE'S GETTING AN AWARD
FROM THE CITY.
395
00:20:56,589 --> 00:21:00,343
{\an1}[JAKE] GOOD FOR HIM. J.J., LEAH
JORDAN. IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT
HER IN YOUR PAST I SHOULD KNOW?
396
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:03,847
{\an1}[J.J.] OKAY--
[STAN] J.J.
JUST KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF.
397
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:08,143
{\an1}[J.J.] I SLEPT WITH HER. A
COUPLE OF TIMES. THEN I DUMPED
HER. IT'S AN OLD STORY.
398
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:11,563
{\an1}[JAKE] YOU SEE, THIS IS
THE KIND OF INFORMATION
THAT'LL HELP ME DO MY JOB.
399
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,482
{\an1}ALL RIGHT, WHAT ABOUT KENT?
IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT HIM?
DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM TOO?
400
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:18,611
{\an1}[J.J.] KENT WAS A HACK.
HE STILL IS HACK. HE'S
LUCKY TO EVEN KNOW ME.
401
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:22,991
{\an1}LOOK, I BANGED A LOTTA CHICKS.
DO YOU WANNA LIST OF THEM ALL?
I'LL GET RIGHT ONTO THAT.
402
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:26,995
{\an1}AS A MATTER OF FACT, ASK TYLER,
HE PROBABLY KEEPS TRACK. HIS
NOSE IS SO FAR UP MY ASS--
403
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,788
{\an1}[STAN] JUST GRAB YOUR CLOTHES
AND GET DRESSED IN THE LIMO.
404
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:32,542
{\an1}[J.J.] STAN! YOU'RE
WORSE THAN THE KID. HE'S
GOT TALENT. WHAT DO YOU GOT?
405
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,085
{\an1}[DES] LOCK IT DOWN!
406
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:35,754
{\an1}
[JAKE] DES, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
407
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,506
{\an1}[DES] UH, THIS WAS, UH,
TAPED TO THE DOOR.
408
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:48,433
{\an1}
[J.J.] AH, JEEZE.
409
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:53,521
{\an1}[JAKE] WOAH. JUST--
"REVENGE OF THE SQUID GAL"?
410
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:55,482
{\an1}[DES] OH MY GOD.
IS THAT HUMAN HAIR?
411
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:58,360
{\an1}
[DES] LOOKS LIKE IT--
412
00:21:58,401 --> 00:21:59,569
{\an1}[JAKE] SHUT UP!
413
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:01,029
{\an1}[J.J.] OH, I HATE CLOWNS.
414
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,739
{\an1}[LESLIE] CAN'T YOU HIT ON A
PARKING METER COP OR SOMETHING?
415
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:04,282
{\an1}[JAKE] HA, HA, AH. HERE, LOOK.
416
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:07,410
{\an1}TAKE A LOOK A THIS.
417
00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:09,579
{\an1}[LESLIE] IS THAT HAIR?
418
00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:12,957
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH, I THINK SO. MY, UH,
CLIENT, HE'S BEEN GETTING SOME
WEIRD THREATS LATELY.
419
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:17,045
{\an1}[LESLIE] JAKE, FINE, WHATEVER. I
REALLY DON'T CARE. GOODBYE.
420
00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:19,964
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL-- OKAY-- LOOK, I
KNOW YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH MAYOR
421
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,425
{\an1}AND YOU'RE NOT WITH ME AND WE
GOTTA BE FRIENDS OR WHATEVER.
422
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,386
{\an1}YOU DON'T HAVE TO
BE MEAN ABOUT IT.
423
00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:27,639
{\an1}[LESLIE] LOOK, I GOT ENOUGH
CHILDISH MEN IN MY LIFE,
SO WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF?
424
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:29,307
{\an1}I DON'T NEED IT FROM YOU.
425
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:33,436
{\an1}[JAKE] LESLIE, I WAS JOKING, BY,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YA?
426
00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:36,272
{\an1}[LESLIE] SORRY.
427
00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:38,483
{\an1}[JAKE] ARE YA ALL RIGHT?
428
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,235
{\an1}[MAL] WHAT WAS THAT?
429
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:41,653
{\an1}[JAKE] I DON'T KNOW.
430
00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:43,780
{\an1}[MAL] RHONDA STRIDE IS NOW
RHONDA PECK. STILL TRACKING DOWN
431
00:22:43,822 --> 00:22:45,031
{\an1}AN ADDRESS.
432
00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:46,533
{\an1}[JAKE] RHONDA PECK.
433
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:49,202
{\an1}[MAYOR CLARKE] LET'S GET RIGHT
TO THE REAL ATTRACTION. LADIES
434
00:22:49,244 --> 00:22:51,579
{\an1}AND GENTLEMEN, J.J. MURPHY!
435
00:22:51,621 --> 00:22:59,379
{\an1}
[J.J.] THANK YOU.
436
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,256
{\an1}[MAL] LOOK WHO SHOWED UP.
437
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:02,465
{\an1}[JAKE] OUR SUPER FAN.
438
00:23:02,507 --> 00:23:04,718
{\an1}[J.J.] THANK YOU! WHAT? OH!
439
00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:08,138
{\an1}[JAKE] WHAT'S HE DOING? COME ON.
440
00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:11,224
{\an1}[J.J.] THANK YOU! I WAS KINDA
HOPING FOR THE KEYS TO THE CITY.
441
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:13,309
{\an1}
[J.J.] I WANTED
TO HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY
442
00:23:13,351 --> 00:23:16,604
{\an1}TO ENTER ALL YOUR
HOMES AND SEE YOU NAKED.
443
00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:19,149
{\an1}JUST TO THANK YOU PERSONALLY,
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
444
00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:23,486
{\an1}AND NOW I GET A PLAQUE INSTEAD.
NOW, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS
A WONDERFUL HONOUR.
445
00:23:23,528 --> 00:23:24,654
{\an1}THIS--
SORRY, DOES THIS HAVE A NAME?
446
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:29,367
{\an1}
447
00:23:49,054 --> 00:23:51,806
{\an1}[J.J.] WELL NICE SAVE, IDIOT.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
448
00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:58,021
{\an1}EXCEPT THAT.
449
00:23:58,063 --> 00:24:00,148
{\an1}[JAKE] COULDA BEEN WORSE.
450
00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:02,442
{\an1}COULDA HAD TO LISTEN TO
THE REST OF YOUR ACT.
451
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,322
{\an1}[LESLIE] THE ICE CREAM TRUCK WAS
REPORTED STOLEN AN HOUR AGO.
452
00:24:07,364 --> 00:24:08,448
{\an1}WE'LL CHECK IT FOR PRINTS.
453
00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:09,657
{\an1}[JAKE] THANK YOU.
454
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,285
{\an1}[LESLIE] UH, BILL-- MAYOR
CLARKE, THIS IS, UH,
455
00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:13,453
{\an1}THIS IS JAKE DOYLE.
456
00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:15,413
{\an1}[MAYOR CLARKE] I OWE YOU.
YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
457
00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:19,626
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH WELL,
YOU CAN BLOW UP ATLANTIC PLACE,
WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.
458
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:21,920
{\an1}[HOOD] STEERING WHEEL WAS
TIED OFF.
459
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:26,383
{\an1}KNIFE WAS, UH, STUCK IN THE GAS
PEDAL. WE FOUND THIS.
460
00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:28,802
{\an1}[JAKE] "EXIT STAGE LEFT."
461
00:24:28,843 --> 00:24:30,679
{\an1}[LESLIE] DOES THAT MEAN
ANYTHING TO YA?
462
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,681
{\an1}[J.J.] NO, BUT IT'S GOOD ADVICE.
463
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,685
{\an1}[JAKE] THAT GUY'S HILARIOUS.
464
00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:44,776
{\an1}TAKE IT EASY WITH ALL THE
CONDOS. DON'T SCREW UP THE CITY.
465
00:24:50,198 --> 00:24:53,159
{\an1}[MAL] WE HAVE A REPORTER WHO
HATES HIM. A CLUB OWNER WHO
HATES HIM.
466
00:24:53,201 --> 00:24:55,829
{\an1}[ROSE] A CRAZED, SUPER-FAN
WHO LOVES HIM. AN OLD TROOP
MEMBER WE CAN'T FIND.
467
00:24:55,870 --> 00:24:56,788
{\an1}[JAKE] OF COURSE THERE'S J.J.
468
00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:58,915
{\an1}WHO BOTH LOVES AND HATES
HIMSELF.
469
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:02,002
{\an1}[DES] THE MONKEY WAS THE KILLER!
470
00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:03,753
{\an1}[JAKE] WHAT WAS THAT, DESDEMONA?
471
00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:06,715
{\an1}[DES] SUPER FAN FICTION.
THEY'RE STORIES, OR WORKS,
472
00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:09,718
{\an1}WRITTEN BY FANS THEMSELVES
BASED ON THEIR FAVOURITE
SHOW OR CHARACTER,
473
00:25:09,759 --> 00:25:15,432
{\an1}BUT THE BEAUTY WITH FAN
FICTION IS THAT SOMETIMES
THEY ENGAGE IN SELF INSERTION,
474
00:25:15,473 --> 00:25:18,852
{\an1}WHERE THE WRITER ACTUALLY
PUTS HIMSELF, OR HERSELF,
INTO THE SCRIPT.
475
00:25:18,893 --> 00:25:21,730
{\an1}[JAKE] SO DID, UH, TYLER SELF
INSERT HIMSELF?
476
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:24,649
{\an1}[DES] NO, HE DIDN'T,
BUT 49 CHARACTERS AND
NO TYLER CHARACTER,
477
00:25:24,691 --> 00:25:26,943
{\an1}SO I GUESS HE'S NOT A SUPER FAN.
478
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:31,197
{\an1}[JAKE] NO, BUT RYAN IS.
479
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:35,827
{\an1}[ROSE] YEAH, IF HE LOVES
HIM SO MUCH, WHY'D HE
SCRATCH ALL HIS EYES OUT?
480
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:38,371
{\an1}[JAKE] DO WE HAVE AN ADDRESS
FOR RYAN BRENTON?
481
00:25:38,413 --> 00:25:40,123
{\an1}[DES] I CAN GET IT.
482
00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:49,841
{\an1}[LESLIE] HI THERE.
483
00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:51,426
{\an1}[MAYOR CLARKE] WELL,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
484
00:25:51,468 --> 00:25:53,970
{\an1}THAT IS NOT
THE STRANGEST CEREMONY
I HAVE EVER PRESIDED OVER.
485
00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:58,516
{\an1}[LESLIE] THANK GOD YOU'RE OKAY.
486
00:25:58,558 --> 00:26:02,270
{\an1}[MAYOR CLARKE] WELL, THANK GOD
THAT DOYLE GUY WAS THERE.
487
00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:07,859
{\an1}[LESLIE] IT'S NICE TO GET A
QUIET SECOND WITH YA ANYWAY.
488
00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:13,198
{\an1}YOU KNOW, UM, I'M NOT
SURE HOW MUCH MORE OF
THIS SECRECY THING I CAN
489
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:16,826
{\an1}DEAL WITH. IT'S STARTING TO GET
ON MY NERVES, TO BE HONEST.
490
00:26:16,868 --> 00:26:19,245
{\an1}[MAYOR CLARKE] YEAH? YOU KNOW
IT'S CUZ I'M ASHAMED OF YOU,
491
00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:22,415
{\an1}RIGHT? TRULY, I'M JUST SAYING,
YOU'RE HORRIBLE TO LOOK AT.
492
00:26:22,457 --> 00:26:26,711
{\an1}
[LESLIE] I'M SERIOUS. SORT OF.
493
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:31,049
{\an1}[MAYOR CLARKE] LET'S JUST
TAKE OUR TIME, OKAY?
494
00:26:31,091 --> 00:26:33,301
{\an1}I MEAN, WE'LL SEE HOW YOU
FEEL IN A LITTLE WHILE.
495
00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:38,640
{\an1}YOU'RE GONNA FIND OUT SOONER OR
LATER THAT I'M A TOTAL DINK,
WAY TOO OLD FOR YOU,
496
00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:42,227
{\an1}AND ALL THE REST. SO, BEFORE WE
ANNOUNCE YOU ON THE BALLOT,
497
00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:44,979
{\an1}MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT TO SEE
IF YOU DUMP ME FIRST.
498
00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:51,569
{\an1}[JAKE] HELLO? CRAZY, SUPER-FAN?
499
00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:55,907
{\an1}ANYONE HOME?
500
00:27:00,704 --> 00:27:04,457
{\an1}[JAKE] IS THIS LITERALLY
A LIST OF J.J.'S WORST FEARS?
501
00:27:11,548 --> 00:27:15,593
{\an1}[MAL] OKAY,
I'M EVEN GETTING FREAKED OUT.
THIS IS PRETTY WEIRD.
502
00:27:15,635 --> 00:27:19,472
{\an1}[JAKE] UH, YEAH. LOOK AT THIS.
503
00:27:19,514 --> 00:27:24,060
{\an1}EVERY ONE OF THESE DRAWERS IS
LABELED. THIS IS CREEPY MAN.
504
00:27:24,102 --> 00:27:28,523
{\an1}LOOK AT THIS. WOAH! JACKPOT.
505
00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:30,442
{\an1}"SQUID DUDE" MEMORABILIA.
506
00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:34,946
{\an1}
[JAKE] YEAH, I KNOW.
507
00:27:34,988 --> 00:27:38,366
{\an1}I HAD THE BLUE ONE.
AH, SHHH. YOU HEAR THAT?
508
00:27:43,747 --> 00:27:45,540
{\an1}WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
GO GET HIM! GO ON!
509
00:28:09,064 --> 00:28:13,818
{\an1}[KENT] LOOK GUYS, I'M NOT
THE STALKER. LEAH THE BLOGGER
WAS PAYING ME FOR DIRT.
510
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,070
{\an1}I WAS LOOKING FOR THE TAPE.
511
00:28:15,111 --> 00:28:16,988
{\an1}[JAKE] SO WHAT WERE YOU DOING
AT RYAN'S?
512
00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:19,616
{\an1}[KENT] WEIRD KID. COLLECTS
EVERYTHING J.J.
513
00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:23,995
{\an1}I SOLD IT TO HIM A WHILE BACK,
ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER
"CATFUD" STUFF.
514
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:26,373
{\an1}NO ONE ELSE ON THE
PLANET HAS THIS TAPE.
515
00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:28,333
{\an1}[MAL] WHY ARE THE BUTTONS ON
THIS THING SO SMALL?
516
00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:31,920
{\an1}[JAKE] JUST GIVE IT TO ME,
WILL YA? I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE
YOU STILL HAVE A VCR.
517
00:28:31,961 --> 00:28:34,798
{\an1}[J.J.] BUT THESE PRISONERS ARE
JUST ENJOYING THE SUNNY DAY.
518
00:28:34,839 --> 00:28:37,967
{\an1}[RHONDA] THEN WE BETTA LOCK IT
DOWN!
519
00:28:38,009 --> 00:28:41,471
{\an1}[MAL] IS THAT RHONDA AS SQUID
GAL?
520
00:28:41,513 --> 00:28:44,557
{\an1}[KENT] YEAH. RHONDA WAS THE REAL
BRAINS OF THE TROOP. SHE AND
521
00:28:44,599 --> 00:28:46,643
{\an1}J.J., THEY WERE A BIG COUPLE.
522
00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:49,979
{\an1}THEN HE DUMPED HER, AND--
[JAKE] STOLE HER MATERIAL.
523
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:51,648
{\an1}[KENT] EVERY WORD.
524
00:28:51,690 --> 00:28:53,650
{\an1}[MAL] I WONDER HOW THE NETWORK
WOULD REACT IF THEY FOUND OUT
525
00:28:53,692 --> 00:28:57,070
{\an1}THEIR NEW SHOW AS BASED ON
STOLEN MATERIAL.
526
00:28:57,112 --> 00:28:59,030
{\an1}[JAKE] WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS
BIT?
527
00:28:59,072 --> 00:29:01,366
{\an1}[KENT] UM, THAT'S
"REVENGE...REVENGE OF THE SQUID
528
00:29:01,408 --> 00:29:05,412
{\an1}GAL." YEAH.
529
00:29:05,453 --> 00:29:09,666
{\an1}[JAKE] SO, I'M GUESSING THAT,
UH, ALL THESE; THEY'RE THE NAMES
530
00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:11,459
{\an1}OF OTHER SKETCHES?
531
00:29:11,501 --> 00:29:13,420
{\an1}[KENT] THERE'S ONLY THREE PEOPLE
IN WORLD WHO WOULD KNOW THAT.
532
00:29:13,461 --> 00:29:14,921
{\an1}ME, J.J. AND RHONDA.
533
00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:17,674
{\an1}[JAKE] AND RYAN, OUR SUPER FAN,
HE'D MAKE 4. CAN YOU REMEMBER
534
00:29:17,716 --> 00:29:19,342
{\an1}THE NAMES OF ANY OTHER ONES?
535
00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:21,302
{\an1}[KENT] WELL WE ALWAYS CLOSED
WITH "TAKE THE PLUNGE."
536
00:29:21,344 --> 00:29:23,930
{\an1}
[JAKE] SORRY. EXCUSE ME. YEAH.
537
00:29:23,972 --> 00:29:27,308
{\an1}[J.J.] YEAH, IT'S ME.
WANNA DRINK?
538
00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:31,229
{\an1}[JAKE] SURE. JUST, UH,
STAY WHERE YOU ARE. IT'S J.J.
539
00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:34,899
{\an1}I'M GUESSING IT'S EITHER
RYAN OR RHONDA. IT HAS
TO BE ONE OF THEM.
540
00:29:34,941 --> 00:29:36,568
{\an1}WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M COMING TO YOU NOW.
541
00:29:49,039 --> 00:29:50,623
{\an1}[JAKE] HEY THERE.
542
00:29:51,708 --> 00:29:58,173
{\an1}[J.J.] YOU KNOW MARLON BRANDO,
HE HAD A STALKER.
543
00:29:58,214 --> 00:30:02,218
{\an1}SHE AND HER HUSBAND HAD A PLAN
TO KILL BRANDO AND TO EAT HIM.
544
00:30:02,260 --> 00:30:04,679
{\an1}[JAKE] I ACTUALLY ALREADY KNEW
THAT.
545
00:30:04,721 --> 00:30:08,933
{\an1}[J.J.] BUT SHE LOVED BRANDO
SO MUCH, SHE CONFESSED
EVERYTHING TO HIM.
546
00:30:08,975 --> 00:30:12,520
{\an1}[JAKE] OH YEAH? WHAT DID BRANDO
DO?
547
00:30:12,562 --> 00:30:16,107
{\an1}[J.J.] HE BANGED HER.
548
00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:19,277
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL, I WOULDN'T
NECESSARILY RECOMMEND THAT
COURSE OF ACTION FOR YOU,
549
00:30:19,319 --> 00:30:22,530
{\an1}IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION.
550
00:30:22,572 --> 00:30:26,534
{\an1}[J.J.] WE HAD A GIG UP HERE
ONCE. OUR LAST GIG. "CATFUD."
551
00:30:26,576 --> 00:30:30,288
{\an1}"TAKE THE PLUNGE," AT
THE END OF THE SHOW WE
PRETENDED TO JUMP OFF.
552
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:32,040
{\an1}STUPID GAG, NEVER WORKED.
553
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,877
{\an1}YOU WANNA KNOW A SECRET?
554
00:30:37,921 --> 00:30:46,304
{\an1}I'M NOT FUNNY. I NEVER WAS.
555
00:30:46,346 --> 00:30:48,014
{\an1}I'M A FRAUD.
556
00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:51,267
{\an1}[JAKE] I KNOW. RHONDA STRIDE.
557
00:30:51,309 --> 00:30:53,645
{\an1}YOU STOLE HER MATERIAL, AND THEN
YOU GOT RICH. THAT KINDA THING,
558
00:30:53,687 --> 00:30:55,522
{\an1}IT TENDS TO LEAVE A MARK.
559
00:30:58,274 --> 00:31:02,737
{\an1}[J.J.] I RIPPED OFF HER
ENTIRE ACT, 20 YEARS AGO.
560
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:07,283
{\an1}SHE MADE ME FAMOUS. YOU GONNA
TURN ME IN? EXPOSE ME?
561
00:31:07,325 --> 00:31:11,913
{\an1}[JAKE] YOU HIRED ME TO FIND YOUR
STALKER, NOT FIND OUT WHERE YOU
GET YOUR CRAPPY MATERIAL.
562
00:31:11,955 --> 00:31:15,875
{\an1}[J.J.] RHONDA'S THE ONE WHO'S
BEEN MAKING THE THREATS.
563
00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:18,962
{\an1}[JAKE] LOOKS LIKE IT.
564
00:31:19,004 --> 00:31:24,759
{\an1}[J.J.] SHE WROTE ME, CALLED.
I NEVER OPENED ONE LETTER.
I SENT THEM ALL BACK.
565
00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:30,849
{\an1}I WAS AFRAID SHE'D GO
PUBLIC WITH THIS TAPE,
EXPOSE ME FOR WHAT I AM.
566
00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:34,060
{\an1}[JAKE] WE SHOULD GO TO
THE COPS NOW, BEFORE THIS GOES
ANY FURTHER.
567
00:31:34,102 --> 00:31:38,815
{\an1}[J.J.] YOU FIND HER.
I WANNA FACE HER ABOUT THIS.
I OWE HER THAT.
568
00:31:40,316 --> 00:31:43,319
{\an1}FINALLY, FINALLY.
569
00:31:45,363 --> 00:31:51,619
{\an1}
[J.J.] WHAT? WHAT DO YA MEAN?
570
00:31:51,661 --> 00:31:57,459
{\an1}YEAH? YOU SERIOUS? UH, OKAY.
571
00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:03,590
{\an1}I'LL-- OKAY. FINE.
THEY JUST ORDERED THE SHOW.
572
00:32:03,631 --> 00:32:08,053
{\an1}I'VE BEEN PICKED UP.
IT'S GREEN LIT.
573
00:32:08,094 --> 00:32:10,722
{\an1}[JAKE] CONGRATULATIONS.
574
00:32:10,764 --> 00:32:14,851
{\an1}[J.J.] YOU JUST BRING ME RHONDA,
OKAY? I NEED TO FACE HER.
MAKE THIS RIGHT.
575
00:32:22,317 --> 00:32:26,446
{\an1}[DYLAN] TIN-TIN. SORRY, TINNY.
576
00:32:26,488 --> 00:32:30,283
{\an1}WHERE YA GOING? YOU NEED A RIDE?
577
00:32:30,325 --> 00:32:32,410
{\an1}[TINNY] I CAN WALK. THANKS.
578
00:32:32,452 --> 00:32:34,496
{\an1}[DYLAN] YOU KNOW, FEAR IS A REAL
HINDRANCE IN LIFE.
579
00:32:34,537 --> 00:32:36,831
{\an1}[TINNY] DEEP STUFF. GOOD ON YA!
580
00:32:36,873 --> 00:32:41,878
{\an1}[DYLAN] OKAY. PLEASE LET ME TAKE
YOU HOME.
581
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,922
{\an1}[TINNY] DID YOU DRINK?
582
00:32:43,963 --> 00:32:47,300
{\an1}[DYLAN] NOT A DROP.
583
00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:48,218
{\an1}[TINNY] ALRIGHT.
584
00:33:00,897 --> 00:33:03,650
{\an1}RIGHT-HAND DRIVE. WEIRD.
585
00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:13,827
{\an1}[MAL] ROSE HAD A HELL OF A TIME
FINDING RHONDA'S ADDRESS.
586
00:33:13,868 --> 00:33:17,288
{\an1}[JAKE] BUT J.J., I DUNNO, IT
MIGHT BE JUST ME, BUT I ALMOST
587
00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:19,207
{\an1}FEEL LIKE THERE'S A CHANGE IN
HIM.
588
00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:21,209
{\an1}[MAL] HE GROWIN' ON YA?
589
00:33:21,251 --> 00:33:26,715
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL NO, I WOULDN'T SAY
THAT EXACTLY, MAYBE IT'S JUST
THE, YOU KNOW-- OW!
590
00:33:26,756 --> 00:33:32,137
{\an1}THE IDEA THAT RHONDA COULD BE
HIS STALKER. HIM KNOWING
THAT IS GIVING HIM EASE.
591
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:38,601
{\an1}[MAL] RHONDA? WE'RE NOT HERE TO
CAUSE ANY TROUBLE. J.J. MURPHY
WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.
592
00:33:38,643 --> 00:33:41,354
{\an1}[JAKE] WE GOT BILLS, BILLS,
593
00:33:43,523 --> 00:33:46,443
{\an1}COUPLE OF INSURANCE CHEQUES.
HERE.
594
00:33:57,078 --> 00:34:00,373
{\an1}MAIL MAN! HELLO?
595
00:34:00,415 --> 00:34:01,750
{\an1}[MAL] RHONDA?
596
00:34:01,791 --> 00:34:04,544
{\an1}[JAKE] DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
ANYONE'S BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE.
597
00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:06,880
{\an1}CISPLATIN, ALTRETAMINE,
WHAT THE HELL'S THIS?
598
00:34:06,921 --> 00:34:08,757
{\an1}[MAL] CANCER DRUGS.
599
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:13,762
{\an1}I SAW ENOUGH OF THOSE BEFORE.
WITH YOUR MOTHER.
BEFORE SHE DIED.
600
00:34:13,803 --> 00:34:16,681
{\an1}LOOKIE HERE, RYAN'S NOT THE ONLY
ONE WITH A J.J. OBSESSION.
601
00:34:16,723 --> 00:34:19,893
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL, AT LEAST RYAN'S
VERY NEAT ABOUT HIS.
602
00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:24,230
{\an1}[MAL] WOW, THESE ARE ALL
ADDRESSED TO J.J. IN NEW YORK.
603
00:34:24,272 --> 00:34:27,734
{\an1}[JAKE] "RETURN TO SENDER,"
"RETURN TO SENDER." "RETURN TO
SENDER" ON ALL OF THEM.
604
00:34:27,775 --> 00:34:29,735
{\an1}[MAL] J.J.'S HAIRBRUSH
THAT WAS STOLEN.
605
00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:34,741
{\an1}[JAKE] REALLY? THIS ONE'S
ADDRESS TO AN ALPHONSO PECK.
606
00:34:34,783 --> 00:34:39,120
{\an1}IT'S A PATERNITY TEST...
BETWEEN J.J. MURPHY AND RHONDA.
607
00:34:45,543 --> 00:34:50,297
{\an1}DAD? I THINK THIS KID,
ALPHONSO, IS J.J.'S SON.
608
00:34:52,384 --> 00:34:53,342
{\an1}[MAL] JAKE?
609
00:35:04,771 --> 00:35:08,024
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL, THERE'S RHONDA.
610
00:35:08,066 --> 00:35:09,693
{\an1}[MAL] THAT'S ONE MYSTERY SOLVED.
611
00:35:11,319 --> 00:35:12,779
{\an1}[LESLIE] YOU'RE IN
BIG TROUBLE HERE.
612
00:35:12,821 --> 00:35:14,197
{\an1}[JAKE] WHAT DO YOU
THINK HAPPENED?
613
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,199
{\an1}I KILLED HER, I FROZE HER,
I FOUND HER, THEN I CALLED YOU?
614
00:35:16,241 --> 00:35:19,035
{\an1}LOOK, I'M AWARE I COME UP WITH
A LOT OF EXCUSES TO SEE YOU.
615
00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:21,204
{\an1}[LESLIE] YOU JUST STUMBLED UPON
RHONDA STRIDE'S BODY?
616
00:35:21,246 --> 00:35:24,916
{\an1}[MAL] THERE'S NO EXTERNAL
WOUNDS. I THINK SHE HAD
TERMINAL CANCER.
617
00:35:24,958 --> 00:35:26,418
{\an1}[LESLIE] YOU EXAMINED HER?
618
00:35:26,459 --> 00:35:29,462
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL, UH, YOU KNOW, JUST
A QUICK SCAN, NOTHING EXTENSIVE.
619
00:35:29,504 --> 00:35:31,548
{\an1}YOU KNOW, MOVED A FEW TV
DINNERS AROUND.
620
00:35:31,589 --> 00:35:33,800
{\an1}[MAL] FOUND SOME CHEQUES IN THE
MAILBOX. I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE.
621
00:35:33,842 --> 00:35:37,137
{\an1}BENEFICIARY HIDES THE
BODY TO KEEP COLLECTING
THE PENSION CHEQUES.
622
00:35:37,178 --> 00:35:39,556
{\an1}[LESLIE] THE SON, YEAH. WE'VE
BEEN TRYING TO TRACK HIM DOWN.
WHOEVER IT IS.
623
00:35:39,597 --> 00:35:40,557
{\an1}[JAKE] WE'RE FREE TO GO.
624
00:35:40,598 --> 00:35:42,434
{\an1}[LESLIE] THERE'S A BODY IN THE
FREEZER.
625
00:35:42,475 --> 00:35:45,061
{\an1}[JAKE] YUP.
626
00:35:45,103 --> 00:35:48,732
{\an1}[LESLIE] DON'T GO FAR, JAKE.
627
00:35:48,773 --> 00:35:50,859
{\an1}[JAKE] SO, LET'S TRACK DOWN
ALPHONSO. YOU THINKING WHAT I'M
628
00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:51,776
{\an1}THINKING?
629
00:35:51,818 --> 00:35:53,820
{\an1}[MAL] SUPER FAN WENT SUPER
CRAZY?
630
00:35:53,862 --> 00:35:56,865
{\an1}[J.J.] THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU
TOO. YOU IN PARTICULAR. HOW DO
631
00:35:56,906 --> 00:35:59,993
{\an1}YOU SPELL THAT? I'LL JUST BLUFF
IT. NOW I'D BE HAPPY TO SIGN ANY
632
00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:03,872
{\an1}BODY PARTS. ANYONE-- YES, HERE
WE GO. THERE WE GO. THAT'LL BE
633
00:36:03,913 --> 00:36:09,044
{\an1}$32.50. DON'T WORRY, I'LL PAY
YOU, SWEETHEART. UH, YOU HAVE TO
634
00:36:09,085 --> 00:36:18,428
{\an1}PUT IT ON FIRST BEFORE I'LL SIGN
IT. STAN! TYLER, TYLER!
635
00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:25,435
{\an1}
[TYLER] YOU GO HIM, P.I.?
636
00:36:25,477 --> 00:36:29,731
{\an1}[DES] NICE WORK. I GOT HIM,
I GOT HIM. I GOT HIM.
637
00:36:29,773 --> 00:36:32,108
{\an1}[RYAN] I JUST WANTED TO GET HIM
TO SIGN IT.
638
00:36:32,150 --> 00:36:33,068
{\an1}[J.J.] OKAY, OKAY, FOLKS.
639
00:36:33,109 --> 00:36:34,277
{\an1}[RYAN] I LOVE YOU, J.J.!
640
00:36:34,319 --> 00:36:36,154
{\an1}[DES] WOAH-OH,
THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.
641
00:36:36,196 --> 00:36:37,489
{\an1}[J.J.] GET ME OUTA HERE.
642
00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:39,282
{\an1}[STAN] TYLER, GET HIM OUTA HERE.
BRING THE CAR AROUND.
643
00:36:39,324 --> 00:36:42,035
{\an1}[J.J.] WE JUST WANTED TO MEET
THE FUNNIEST MAN IN THE WORLD.
644
00:36:45,538 --> 00:36:48,041
{\an1}
[JAKE] WHERE'S J.J.?
645
00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:50,502
{\an1}[DES] I CAUGHT HIM. I GOT THE--
[RYAN] I'M NOT THE STALKER.
646
00:36:50,543 --> 00:36:54,214
{\an1}I LOVE J.J. I'M THE PRESIDENT
OF J.J.'S ONLINE FAN CLUB.
I HAVE CREDENTIALS.
647
00:36:54,255 --> 00:36:56,424
{\an1}[JAKE] WOAH-OH-OH, DES?
648
00:36:56,466 --> 00:36:58,218
{\an1}[DES] WHAT? OH YEAH, I GOT HIM.
649
00:36:58,259 --> 00:36:59,344
{\an1}[JAKE] IS YOUR NAME ALPHONSO?
650
00:36:59,386 --> 00:37:02,305
{\an1}[RYAN] WHAT? MY NAME'S RYAN.
RYAN BRENTON.
651
00:37:02,347 --> 00:37:06,559
{\an1}IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK MY
DAD. HE'S A SUPREME COURT JUDGE.
652
00:37:06,601 --> 00:37:10,105
{\an1}[MAL] IF YOU LOVE J.J. SO MUCH,
HOW COME YOU SCRATCHED
THE EYES OUT IN THOSE ALBUMS?
653
00:37:10,146 --> 00:37:12,357
{\an1}[RYAN] I DIDN'T! THEY WERE
LIKE THAT WHEN I BOUGHT THEM
FROM KENT.
654
00:37:12,399 --> 00:37:15,402
{\an1}I PAID 30 BUCKS FOR THEM,
BUT THEY'RE PRICELESS.
655
00:37:15,443 --> 00:37:17,362
{\an1}[JAKE] STAN, HOW OLD IS TYLER?
656
00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:20,323
{\an1}[STAN] ABOUT 26. DES,
YOU SAY THAT IN FAN FICTION,
657
00:37:20,365 --> 00:37:22,367
{\an1}THE WRITER WRITES HIMSELF
INTO A SCRIPT, RIGHT?
658
00:37:22,409 --> 00:37:23,576
{\an1}[DES] YEAH, YEAH. WHY?
659
00:37:23,618 --> 00:37:25,537
{\an1}[JAKE] SO IN TYLER'S SCRIPT
WAS--
660
00:37:25,578 --> 00:37:27,414
{\an1}[MAL] WAS THERE A CHARACTER
NAMED ALPHONSO?
661
00:37:27,455 --> 00:37:29,332
{\an1}[DES] YEAH, HE, HE'S THE LEAD.
HOW'D YOU KNOW?
662
00:37:29,374 --> 00:37:31,084
{\an1}[JAKE] I THINK I KNOW
WHERE THEY ARE.
663
00:37:34,587 --> 00:37:39,426
{\an1}[TYLER] DRINK UP.
YOU DESERVE IT.
664
00:37:39,467 --> 00:37:43,138
{\an1}[J.J.] THIS PLACE-- IT'S WEIRD
YOU BROUGHT ME UP HERE--
665
00:37:43,179 --> 00:37:45,515
{\an1}[TYLER] "CATFUD" DID THEIR LAST
SHOW HERE, HUH?
666
00:37:45,557 --> 00:37:47,726
{\an1}[J.J.] YEAH, HOW'D YOU KNOW
THAT?
667
00:37:47,767 --> 00:37:50,228
{\an1}[TYLER] YOU DID A ROOFTOP SHOW,
YOU PRETENDED YOU WERE THE
668
00:37:50,270 --> 00:37:54,024
{\an1}BEATLES, YOU HAD A SOLD OUT
CROWD. BUT THE AUDIENCE WAS,
669
00:37:54,065 --> 00:37:56,151
{\an1}UH--
[J.J.] UP HERE ON THE ROOF WITH
670
00:37:56,192 --> 00:37:58,028
{\an1}US. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
671
00:37:58,069 --> 00:38:01,781
{\an1}[TYLER] IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE YOU
AND KENT AND RHONDA BROKE OFF.
672
00:38:01,823 --> 00:38:05,994
{\an1}YOU TOOK OFF TO NEW YORK, AND
YOU STOLE SQUID GAL.
673
00:38:06,036 --> 00:38:08,955
{\an1}[J.J.] TYLER? DID I TELL YOU
THIS?
674
00:38:08,997 --> 00:38:11,374
{\an1}[TYLER] I HAD FUN BEING AROUND
YOU. WATCHING YOU WORK DUMPY
675
00:38:11,416 --> 00:38:20,216
{\an1}CLUBS, WATCHING YOU SUFFER. A
HACK. YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON.
676
00:38:20,258 --> 00:38:24,262
{\an1}A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PERSON.
677
00:38:24,304 --> 00:38:28,600
{\an1}DAD, SHE DIED... MOM.
678
00:38:28,641 --> 00:38:29,768
{\an1}[J.J.] UH?
679
00:38:29,809 --> 00:38:31,019
{\an1}[TYLER] SHE'S DEAD. SHE'S DEAD.
680
00:38:31,061 --> 00:38:34,022
{\an1}[J.J.] WAIT? WHA--
[TYLER] MY MOTHER, RHONDA, IS
681
00:38:34,064 --> 00:38:37,400
{\an1}DEAD. DID YOU HEAR THAT, DAD?
682
00:38:37,442 --> 00:38:40,236
{\an1}[J.J.] WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING
ME DAD?
683
00:38:40,278 --> 00:38:43,948
{\an1}[TYLER] YOU KNOW, I TOOK THIS
JOB TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER,
684
00:38:43,990 --> 00:38:48,953
{\an1}TO FIND OUT WHY. TO HURT YOU...
685
00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:50,455
{\an1}SOMEHOW.
686
00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:56,753
{\an1}[JAKE] IT'S TRUE, J.J. HE'S YOUR
SON. OKAY. LET'S JUST STAY CALM,
687
00:38:56,795 --> 00:38:58,838
{\an1}OKAY, TYLER.
[MAL] TAKE IT EASY.
688
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,341
{\an1}[TYLER] JUST GET BACK! I'LL PUSH
HIM OVER AND I'LL GO WITH HIM.
689
00:39:01,383 --> 00:39:03,968
{\an1}I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
JUST STAY BACK!
690
00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:05,428
{\an1}[MAL] OKAY.
691
00:39:05,470 --> 00:39:07,222
{\an1}[JAKE] WE FOUND
YOUR MOTHER, TYLER.
[MAL] THIS MORNING.
692
00:39:07,263 --> 00:39:10,600
{\an1}[TYLER] I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
WRONG. SHE TOLD ME TO DO IT,
693
00:39:10,642 --> 00:39:12,852
{\an1}TO KEEP GETTING THE INSURANCE
CHEQUES. SHE WANTED ME TO GO TO
694
00:39:12,894 --> 00:39:14,938
{\an1}UNIVERSITY--
[J.J.] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
695
00:39:14,979 --> 00:39:16,731
{\an1}TALKING ABOUT--
[TYLER] STAY STILL!
696
00:39:16,773 --> 00:39:18,525
{\an1}[MAL] HE REALLY IS YOUR SON,
J.J.
697
00:39:18,566 --> 00:39:22,404
{\an1}[J.J.] WHATTA KNOW?
OH, WELL I DON'T SUPPOSE
ANYONE HAS A CIGAR?
698
00:39:22,445 --> 00:39:23,863
{\an1}[TYLER] ANOTHER JOKE, HUH, DAD?
699
00:39:23,905 --> 00:39:28,326
{\an1}[JAKE] WOAH. OKAY. LET'S JUST
STAY COOL HERE, YEAH?
700
00:39:28,368 --> 00:39:29,786
{\an1}[TYLER] JUST STAY BACK!
701
00:39:29,828 --> 00:39:34,207
{\an1}[J.J.] IF HE WANTS TO KILL ME,
LET HIM. YOU WANNA KILL ME KID?
702
00:39:34,249 --> 00:39:40,922
{\an1}GO AHEAD! I LOVED YOUR MOTHER. I
ALWAYS DID. AND YES, I AM A HACK
703
00:39:40,964 --> 00:39:46,428
{\an1}AND A THIEF. LET HIM KILL ME,
GUYS. IT'S OKAY. I AM A HACK.
704
00:39:46,469 --> 00:39:48,221
{\an1}YEAH, YEAH, LET HIM KILL ME.
705
00:39:48,263 --> 00:39:49,139
{\an1}[JAKE] YOU'RE NOT HELPING J.J.
706
00:39:49,180 --> 00:39:52,434
{\an1}JUST--
707
00:39:52,475 --> 00:39:57,522
{\an1}[J.J.] I HAVE A SON. HE WANTS TO
KILL ME, BUT, UH, EVEN SO, IT'S
708
00:39:57,564 --> 00:40:01,735
{\an1}BETTER THAN THE RELATIONSHIP I
HAD WITH MY FATHER.
709
00:40:01,776 --> 00:40:05,488
{\an1}[TYLER] WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY
DID YOU RUIN HER LIFE?
710
00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:08,533
{\an1}[J.J.] I'M SORRY, KID. I, UM...
711
00:40:08,575 --> 00:40:10,535
{\an1}I'M REALLY SORRY.
712
00:40:15,331 --> 00:40:16,541
{\an1}[TYLER] NO!
713
00:40:18,335 --> 00:40:23,381
{\an1}
714
00:40:34,642 --> 00:40:37,395
{\an1}[J.J.] HEY! HEY, DON'T HURT HIM.
715
00:40:41,399 --> 00:40:43,401
{\an1}HE'S MY SON.
716
00:40:48,948 --> 00:40:50,700
{\an1}RIGHT ON, BOY.
717
00:40:51,701 --> 00:40:55,997
{\an1}[MAL] WELCOME TO PARENTHOOD.
718
00:40:56,039 --> 00:40:58,124
{\an1}[JAKE] NOW THAT THERE,
THAT'S A REAL FATHER.
719
00:41:03,505 --> 00:41:06,007
{\an1}[JAKE] HEY, UM, NIKKI.
720
00:41:06,049 --> 00:41:08,843
{\an1}[NIKKI] HEY. LOOK AT YOU.
721
00:41:08,885 --> 00:41:11,846
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH. JUST LOOK AT
YOU. UM, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
722
00:41:11,888 --> 00:41:16,267
{\an1}I BROUGHT A FRIEND. ALLISON,
THIS IS NIKKI. NIKKI, THIS IS
723
00:41:16,309 --> 00:41:17,894
{\an1}ALLISON.
724
00:41:18,937 --> 00:41:20,188
{\an1}[NIKKI] OH.
725
00:41:20,230 --> 00:41:21,773
{\an1}[ALLISON] HI.
726
00:41:21,815 --> 00:41:23,233
{\an1}[NIKKI] HELLO.
727
00:41:23,274 --> 00:41:25,610
{\an1}[DAVID] HEY, JAKE BUDDY, GLAD
YOU COULD MAKE IT. WE--
728
00:41:25,652 --> 00:41:29,155
{\an1}OH, WE WANTED TO INTRODUCE
YOU TO UH--
[NIKKI] NO, HONEY.
729
00:41:29,197 --> 00:41:32,534
{\an1}[JILL] HI. HELLO.
730
00:41:35,412 --> 00:41:38,164
{\an1}[JAKE] WELL I'M, UM, STARVED.
731
00:41:51,219 --> 00:41:54,681
{\an1}[DAVID] SO, UM, ALLISON, YOU'RE-
YOU'RE A LAWYER, RIGHT?
732
00:41:54,723 --> 00:41:57,767
{\an1}[ALLISON] YOU KNOW, I THINK
I LEFT MY BERRY IN THE CAR,
733
00:41:57,809 --> 00:42:00,020
{\an1}SO I'M JUST GONNA,
I'M JUST GONNA GO GET IT--
734
00:42:00,061 --> 00:42:01,730
{\an1}I'M SORRY, I'LL
JUST BE A MINUTE.
735
00:42:06,776 --> 00:42:11,573
{\an1}[JAKE] I'LL BE-- I'LL JUST BE
RIGHT BACK. JUST...
736
00:42:30,550 --> 00:42:32,635
{\an1}[ALLISON] SO YOU TAKE
ME TO A DINNER
737
00:42:32,677 --> 00:42:35,597
{\an1}WHERE YOUR EX-WIFE IS TRYING TO
SET YOU UP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?
738
00:42:35,638 --> 00:42:36,890
{\an1}[JAKE] SORRY ABOUT THAT.
739
00:42:36,931 --> 00:42:39,893
{\an1}[ALLISON] IT'S A-HELL-OF
A FIRST DATE.
740
00:42:39,934 --> 00:42:42,103
{\an1}[JAKE] I'M A CLASSY GUY,
WHAT CAN I SAY?
741
00:42:42,145 --> 00:42:44,814
{\an1}[ALLISON] WELL YOU'RE AN
ORIGINAL, THAT'S FOR SURE.
742
00:42:49,235 --> 00:42:53,615
{\an1}YOU THINK THIS IS GOING
WHERE YOU THINK IT IS GOING?
743
00:42:53,656 --> 00:42:55,533
{\an1}[JAKE] I HAVE NO IDEA.
744
00:43:18,056 --> 00:43:20,308
{\an1}[ALLISON] I NEED TO GET THAT.
745
00:43:20,350 --> 00:43:22,644
{\an1}[JAKE] YEAH, OKAY.
746
00:43:25,563 --> 00:43:27,273
{\an1}[ALLISON] IT'S MY HUSBAND.
747
00:43:31,277 --> 00:43:38,493
{\an1}*HEY MISTER JIM I CAN SEE
THE SHAPE YOU'RE IN*
748
00:43:38,535 --> 00:43:41,663
{\an1}*FINGER ON YOUR EYEBROW*
749
00:43:41,705 --> 00:43:45,458
{\an1}*AND LEFT HAND ON YOUR HIP*
750
00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:46,292
{\an1}*THINKING THAT YOU'RE
751
00:43:46,334 --> 00:43:49,879
{\an1}SUCH A LADY KILLER*
752
00:43:49,921 --> 00:43:53,091
{\an1}*THINK YOU'RE SO SLICK*
753
00:43:53,133 --> 00:43:54,092
{\an1}*WELL ALL RIGHT*
754
00:43:54,134 --> 00:43:59,055
{\an1}*OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH*
86072
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