All language subtitles for All.of.Us.S04E19.Everything.Happens.for.a.Reason.1080p.Hulu.WEB-DL.AAC.2.0.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

(male narrator)
Last time on "All Of Us.."

And I wanted to check and see
how you and Dirk are doing.

You know, you need
to patch things up with him

especially
since it was your fault.

‐ My fault?
‐ You put his business on TV.

I mean, what did you expect?
I could've punched you, too.

‐ We're back.
‐ And an hour late.

Look, I know that we have to be
in each other's lives

but we don't have to be
in each other's business.

You put yourself
in my business

when you took Ben
to that tennis match.

Yeah, but I invited you, too.

What makes you think I wanna
hang out with my ex‐husband

and my...Ben?

What you said was messed up.

I'll take that.

You hitting me was messed up.

‐ I'll take that.
‐ Oh, Dirk?

There you are.
I have to talk to you.

Not right now, Dennis.
I'm in the middle of something.

Oh. Oh, th‐that's cool.
Go ahead. Finish.

I'll fire you later.

What?

[instrumental music]

Dennis, this show is called

"Get Real With James And Black"
for a reason.

And now it's called "Get Real
With Robert James" for a reason.

Dirk and I are a team.
We're a one‐two punch.

Dirk illustrated
that one‐two punch

when he hit you on the air.

Dennis, hear me out, okay?
Dirk is the reason why I'm here.

And the bottom line is,
he and I are the show.

The bottom line is,
his behavior was inappropriate.

And he violated network rules.

Yes. And you know what?
I give you that, Dennis.

But so did Janet Jackson
when she bared her breasts.

Hm? That didn't
slow her down, huh?

She probably gained new fans.

‐ She did. Me.
‐ Mm.

Yeah, I went out,
I got her new CD.

Thought it might spice things up
with the missus.

Oh!

It didn't.

Look, I'm sorry.

I cannot have
an unsafe work environment.

Dennis, I understand
the network's concerns

but I feel totally safe
working with Dirk.

Well, good.

Then you wouldn't mind
signing these papers

that releases the network
from all liability

of him striking you.

If I sign these,
will you bring Dirk back?

If that's what it takes
for you to sign these papers..

...then sure.

Give me that.

So are you bringing Dirk back?

No.

‐ You lied to me?
‐ Wow.

Somebody in Hollywood
lied to get what they want.

Imagine that.

♪ Hey ♪
♪ And even though ♪

♪ We're stressed sometimes ♪

♪ It's All Of Us now ♪

♪ Here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

So then we went to the beach
where he already set up a fire.

And then you did it
by the fire.

No, no, no, no, but he already
had a table set up for two

with cheese and crackers
and a bottle of wine.

Man, why can't I find
somebody like that?

My last date thought
it was sexy

if he bit the buttons
off my blouse

which would have been hot
if his mom wasn't sitting

in the back seat.

So how did he react
when you told him the truth

about how you guys met?

Um...I couldn't tell him.

Neesee, you have to.

Yeah, but I didn't want
to ruin the moment.

Just like you didn't wanna
ruin the moment

at the aquarium
or at the Hollywood Bowl

or while you were
hot‐air ballooning?

Wow, you guys do
a lot of cool stuff.

Well, I'mma tell him
when the time is right.

[knocking on door]

And that's him,
so don't say anything.

Mm.

Okay.

[chuckles]

[indistinct whispering]

‐ Hey, Ben. How are you?
‐ Hey. Good.

Good. Hey, this is my friend,
Michele.

‐ Nice to meet you, Michele.
‐ Mm‐hm.

Neesee tells me
you work at the bank.

‐ 'Yeah.'
‐ Question.

If I were to fill up
an application for a loan

and I lied on it

how would the bank feel
about that?

Oh, we can't have that.
We'd cancel the loan.

So deception could ruin
my relationship with the bank.

Hm. Thanks. Just checking.

She was weird.

She doesn't get
the whole bank thing, you know?

She still thinks
the cashier's check is

when you frisk the tellers
before they go home.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Mm!

What up, D?

Aa‐haa!

Ha‐ha‐ha‐ha!

Ha‐ha! What are you wearing?

Well, you know, just a little
something I threw together.

You know what I'm saying? I used
to have to coordinate with Dirk.

But, uh, you know,
since he's not here

I'm free to be me‐e‐e!

Yeah, well,
you is a little loud.

Lookit, lookit, I‐I understand
where you're coming from and all

but I'm just trying
to make the show my own, baby.

You know, as a matter of fact,
I came up with this new intro.

Right? Check it out.

‐ These girls come out, right?
‐ Right.

They come out, they're like..

♪ Robert Robert Robert ♪

♪ Robert James ♪♪♪

‐ And, uh, these dancers..
‐ Yeah.

Are they all cartoon characters
or just you?

[chuckles]

Right, that's right.
Yeah, that's right.

L‐let me ask you, have you
prepped all the questions

for the Reggie Bush interview?

[imitates Dennis]
Did I prep all the questions

for the Reggie Bush interview?

Come on, man, you just said that
because you know

Dirk used to prepare
those questions, right?

But I'mma tell you like this.

I am prepared..

Bam!

‐ "What's your favorite color?"
‐ Right.

Who wouldn't wanna know
Reggie Bush's favorite color?

Hm?

If he says red,
then everybody in the country

starts wearing red.
But where did they get it from?

They got it right here
on "Get Real With Robert James!"

And our ratings go ba‐yo!

Ba‐yo!

Yes.

I think I know
what you're trying to do.

And, no,
I'm not gonna hire Dirk back.

To be honest with you,
he was on the verge

of getting fired, anyway,
after he mass e‐mailed

that, uh, that video
with the fat women

crawling through mud.

No. No, no, t‐that was a charity
that he was supporting.

You know, hey, look,
those women, they need clothes

and, and‐and
gastric bypasses, too.

[instrumental music]

‐ Hey. Oh.
‐ Hey, what's up, Neesee?

Robert, I‐I need
some relationship advice.

Uh‐uh! Hold on.

Didn't you just finish
reading me the riot act

about getting
into your business, huh?

The last thing I need

is to cross
some imaginary boundaries.

Well, I was talking
about...Matilda.

Matilda at work.

There's nobody named Matilda
that works at the restaurant.

Uh‐huh, she works in the back

unloading the trucks
when they come in.

That's a chick?

Don't tell nobody.
She's sensitive.

‐ I would be, too. Hey..
‐ Mm. Now, listen.

She's messing with this guy,
she's keeping a secret from him.

And, and, um, you know

the secret
is not that big of a deal.

But should she tell him?

Well, Neesee, if they're
coming to you for advice

it must be a big deal.

Look, Neesee,
when it comes to relationships

you finish the way you start,
right?

If you start
in a deceitful place

your relationship
is doomed to fail.

Well, how do you explain
what happened to us?

Oh, that's easy. You crazy.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, dad, can I wear
my swimming trunks as underwear?

Why do you wanna do that?

Because I'm working
on a magic trick

where I can make a glass of milk
disappear down my pants.

[doorbell rings]

Well, why don't you work
on a magic trick

that can help you
with your homework?

Hey! Dirk, I've been trying
to get in touch with you.

‐ I need to talk with you.
‐ I need to talk to you, too.

‐ Hey, Uncle Dirk.
‐ What's up, deuce?

It's my girlfriend, Jill.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Should I bow or curtsy?

Uh, why would you do that,
sweetie?

Because my dad said
you're a drama queen.

Bob. Son, go to your room.

Okay.
Good evening, Your Majesty.

[chuckles]
Yeah, um, about that..

‐ What I was trying to‐‐
‐ Don't even bother.

We're past it.

Jill and I've been talking,
and I'm over it.

‐ For real?
‐ Well, that is good to hear.

You guys
can finally move past this.

Oh, yeah, way past.

Yeah, honey, do it.

Do what?

‐ I'm suing you.
‐ He's suing you.

We'll see you in court.

♪ Na‐na na‐na na‐na ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

"Loss of wages?

Defamation of character?"

‐ "Emotional‐‐"
‐ "Emotional damage?" Wow.

You know what,
if he's emotionally damaged

then he should be suing
his uncle

for locking him
in the basement.

Wait a minute.

Dirk's uncle
locked him in the basement?

Yeah. Yeah. Apparently..

There was a two‐day period

where his Uncle Levi thought

he was a raccoon.

Dirk crossed the line
this time. You..

I'm gonna call my lawyer
and I'm gonna counter‐sue.

‐ For what?
‐ Assault and battery, huh?

Pain and suffering.

Emotional distress on Bobby.

Imagine the years of counseling
he's gonna have to go through

from watching his father
get punched.

Well, Bobby laughed.

Uh, I laughed.

In fact, we re‐enacted it
several times.

You know, sometime I played you,
sometime he played you

but either way,
it was hilarious.

Ah..

♪ I do do yeah ♪♪♪

‐ What you gonna do now?
‐ Okay.

‐ I got you where I want you.
‐ Uh‐huh. Okay.

‐ Okay.
‐ Uh‐huh.

Look at that, look at that.

Oh!

‐ Oh!
‐ Oh, no, you didn't.

‐ Oh!
‐ You cheated!

Yes, I did. But I won.

[chuckling]

I haven't played this
in forever.

It shows.

[chuckling]

Yeah.

Um, I got something
I wanna tell you.

Mm‐hmm.

I didn't meet you the way
you thought I met you.

I didn't come down to the bank
that day for a loan.

Well, I hope you weren't
planning on robbing

'cause I might have
to report that.

[chuckles]
No.

But in the past few months

I've been feeling

like something was missing
in my life

and so after
a lot of soul searching

I decided
that I want another baby.

Oh, you came to the bank
to get a baby?

[chuckles]

When you open up a new account

we give toasters.

We don't give out those.

Well, actually,
I went to two banks.

Before I went to your bank,
I went to a sperm bank.

Oh. Oh.

Yeah, and that's where
I met you.

Uh, well, well, not you

but, um, a‐a part of you.

So you were trying
to track me down

to get my sperm
from the sperm bank?

Well, a‐actually,
I already have it.

Okay. Alright.

When you say you have it,
do you mean

you have it with you, uh,
currently?

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Uh, it's still in the freezer.

Oh, no, no. Not my freezer, I..

Um, see,
when I went to the clinic

they accidentally gave me
your information

and I went to your bank
to meet the potential father

of my potential child.

And now we're here having fun
and playing Jenga

and, you know..

This is nuts.

I‐i‐it seems that way.

But can we talk about it?

No, um.. No.

Uh, I‐I don't wanna
talk about it.

I, uh...I gotta go.

‐ Oh, Ben.
‐ No, you know what?

I‐I'm fine. I'm fine.

It's just that you're, um

you're coming at me with a lot,
so, uh..

I'll talk to you later.

But yo..

[door shuts]

[instrumental music]

This is a case
between Mr. Dirk Black

and Mr. Robert James.

Last time I did this

I was accused of unfair ruling.

Now I'm forced to use this.

Okay.

Mr. Black is suing Mr. James

for loss of wages,
verbal abuse and‐‐

‐ Verbal abuse?
‐ Yeah.

The way you came at me
the other night was hurtful.

‐ I wasn't gonna bring it up.
‐ But I thought he should.

And I'm not finished.

And defamation of character.

Now I will hear
both sides of the case

and make
my fair and unbiased ruling.

Mr. James,
would you like to begin

addressing the allegations?

Yes. Look, it's like this. I‐‐

And jealous of this.

This love that we have
right here.

[sighs]
I've been to Dirksen's college?

And you know how friends are.
You, you‐‐

Have never, ever, ever
liked the fact

that Dirk is happy with me.

You have your good times
and your bad times.

‐ Your ups, your down‐‐
‐ Down.

Down's exactly where
you've been trying to keep Dirk.

Dirk, can you put a muzzle
on your Chihuahua?

[gasps]

Do you see that?
That is anger and rage!

Mm. I'm starting to see
what you're saying.

Uh, but I will make
my fair and unbiased ruling.

Uh, continue, please.

Dirk, can we talk
for just a second

without the arbitrator and..

[imitating dog]

Anything you have to say,
you can say in front of Jill.

It's like that, Dirk?

Come on, man. We're boys, Dirk.
You are the godfather of my son.

After all we've been through,
we gotta go out like this?

‐ Babe.
‐ Hm?

‐ Go wait outside.
‐ Thank you.

H‐h‐honey, don't listen to him.

He's just playing mind games.

Okay. I'll go.

You know what, you just remember

that while he is trying
to get up here

I am in here. I'm in here.

‐ But could you be out here?
‐ Uh..

Alright, Dirk,
let's put it on the table. Okay?

When I talked about your mom,
on a scale of one to ten

how bad was that?

‐ Fifteen.
‐ Okay. Okay.

And when you hit me,
that was a ten.

So...I guess I owe you five.

Now let me ask you this.

When I talk about Jill,
what is that?

‐ Seven.
‐ Hm.

But that's not the point.

You think if I don't think
like you, I'm wrong.

There's one path to go down
in life and it's Robert's.

‐ That is not true.
‐ That's very true.

"I'm gonna drink some milk."

"Hey, you better make sure
it's skimmed milk.

Don't wanna raise
your cholesterol."

"I'm thinking about cutting
my mustache." "No, don't do it!

Black men
need hair on their face!"

We do.

The thing about friends is

you have to accept them
the way they are.

You can't force your opinions
on 'em.

You have a whole set of issues
yourself

but I don't try to change you.

I just give my opinion
and keep it moving.

Okay, Dirk,
but what kind of friend am I

if I watch you
mess up your life?

It's my life.

Who are you to tell me
what to do?

Alright. I was wrong, okay?

I shouldn't have
forced my opinion on you.

Most of the time I don't mind.
You give good advice.

‐ Thank you.
‐ Most of the time.

[sighs]
Alright, look, man.

The bottom line is, Dirk,
you're my boy, man.

Alright?

No. You're my brother.

And I love you.

I love..

I love you, too, man.

‐ So?
‐ We're gonna toss out the case.

‐ Are you sure?
‐ Positive, Aunt Vicky.

"Aunt Vicky?"
You guys are related?

Hey, man,
I hit you on television.

I couldn't take any chances.

‐ See you.
‐ That's Uncle Levi's wife.

That's the one
who let me out the basement.

Oh..

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

Yeah..

‐ Hey, Neesee, uh..
‐ Hey.

‐ Can we talk?
‐ Sure. Come in.

Um, you know,
ever since I left here

I've been thinking
about this. Uh..

Let's say
I was cool with everything.

‐ Then what?
‐ Then we keep dating.

Okay, we keep dating,
but then what?

I mean, what happens if we break
up, we go our separate ways

and you keep my...stuff?

W‐what if we don't break up?
Who knows what's gonna happen?

What if we stay together
and have a baby

the old‐fashioned way?

I don't wanna have kids.

But if you didn't wanna
have kids

what did you think that they
were gonna do with your stuff

down at the sperm bank?

Decorate a cake?

It was a long time ago. I was
in college. I needed some cash.

Come on, Neesee, say something.

I‐I‐I don't know what to say.

I‐I feel stupid.

[chuckles]

I stalked a sperm donor
and fell for him

and...convinced myself

that I could have
the whole package. I..

[scoffs]

Well, I guess there's not
that much left to say then.

I'm sorry.

I don't know if there's gonna be
another man in my life

but I know I'm going to have
another baby.

Don't worry,
it, it won't be yours.

Alright.

[chuckles]

You know what?
It just dawned on me. Um..

Out of all the possible donors

you chose me.

Well, you look good on paper.

And off.

Well, if you do decide
to open up a new account

it's not a bad toaster.

I'll keep that in mind.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Ta‐da!

That's nothin'.
Anybody can do that.

Oh, yeah?

Well, what about
the milk of mystery?

Watch as Bobby makes the dairy

disappear.

[milk gurgling]

Ta‐da!

That's weak.

[exhales sharply]
Anybody can do that, too.

Now, if you are a real magician

you can make something
disappear.

Something big.

Mom!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]