All language subtitles for Z.Nation.S05E07.Docs.Stoned.History.720p.WEBRip.2CH.x265

Previously on Z Nation...

Don't move!

Addy.

A great idea is worth
more than you think.

We got to find more bizkits

before every Talker turns in Newmerica.

Promise me you will not
hand him over to Altura.

I promise.

We're searching for
one Lieutenant Dante.

Up here!

I'll let you take me.

I need to go after him.

I need to be there at his trial.

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So what do you know about this bakery?

Supposedly it's where
they bake the bizkits.

So why the big mystery
around these bizkits anyway?

Nobody likes to talk about
the fact that they contain

human brain matter.

Well where are they getting
the brains from then?

No one knows.

It's time we find out.

Brain bizkits? How was this
not your idea, Murphy?

Laugh it up, stump boy.
One of these days,

this Apocalypse is gonna
make me a rich man.

You head back in now, okay?

Hey.

Try not to eat each other
before I get back, all right?

The bizkit bakery is on the
edge of the No-Go Zone.

Not the type of place
that welcomes visitors.

Let me point out a few
obvious red flags.

Backwood yocals, secret brain bakery,

and I'm sure I hear banjo
music in our near future.

Need I go on?

You guys follow Dante to Altura.

I'm sure you'll make sure
he has a fair trial.

We'll get the bizkits,
get back to Limbo,

- and we'll join you.
- We're on it, chief.

All right. Well I assembled
the best of the Limbo fleet.

- There you go.
- Sweet.

My bad.

Does this run?

I'm a god, not a mechanic.

Well it's no El Camino, but
beggars can't be choosers.

El Camino.

Wow, they don't make
them like they used to.

They don't make anything.

At all.

True that.

Let's find that bakery.

Can you step on it, Doc?

I don't like not having eyes on Dante.

Really?

I'm gunning it.

You know you shouldn't put
your feet up like that.

If there was an accident,
the airbags could go off

and you could drive your
knees up into your brain.

It's the Apocalypse.

I think airbags are the
least of our worries.

It's one of those fears you
have growing up, I guess.

Your generation's greatest
fear was airbags?

My generation only had zombies.

I'm just saying 30
something year old airbags

are not typically the most reliable.

Not that anything's gonna happen.

Shit!

And you were saying?

- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

Nope, still don't make
them like they used to.

I think I sprained my ankle.

Better than a knee through the brain.

No, it's not.

Let me see what I got
in my bag for pain.

I don't like to prescribe the hard stuff

when this stuff will do you just fine.

I've never smoked before.

Good, it's a terrible habit.
Stunts your growth.

- What?
- Oh, I was thinking nicotine.

No, fire that puppy up.

Can you move it at all?

No. Oh, God.

Well look, tough it out or take a hit.

But don't just let it burn out.

Here, let me have a look at it.

Okay, the weed, the weed.

Here, here.

I don't think you broke it, but
you damn sure sprained it.

Now my foot hurts and I have a cough.

Give it a minute.

Uh oh.

You hang tough. I'm gonna
take care of some tourists.

Poncho Zs?

Cars used to have ashtrays?

Look out, George! Where you going?

Uh, okay, okay.

A little help here!

Okay, I got you.

Mercy.

Oh, God.

Well I guess that spleef is working.

Can't feel my foot.

I don't feel anything.

We better get going.

I want to get to Altura
before nightfall.

Ruh-oh.

Ew.

You better have a seat
and get off that foot.

This could take a while.

Is that the bakery?

It looks abandoned.

Doesn't mean nobody's home.

What is it?

This must be the place.

I smell brains.

Murphy?

Get your ass away from them skulls.

- Hey.
- Focus.

Looks like they left in a hurry.

Guess this clears up any mystery

of what the secret ingredient might be.

Doesn't look like it's been
operational for a while.

Are we done?

I dunno.

I can't figure this shit out.

You catching up on your social studies?

You know it's crazy, when I was
in school I kept thinking,

when am I ever gonna use
this stuff in real life?

Now's your chance.

I love history. Especially
when I'm buzzed.

My old man was a big history buff.

Had a huge collection of books.

But my favorite

was this painting of the
Constitutional Convention.

Yeah, the gang was all there.

Ben Franklin

chillin' in the middle.

George Washington presiding over it all,

with Thomas Jefferson
looking all badass.

You know,

the founding fathers had huge pot farms.

Seriously.

They were like man, cannabis rules.

You know, these hemp fibers are
pretty much good for anything.

Rope, banners,

printing the Bible, making the US flag,

the paper of the Constitution.

Yeah, I know, George. I'm
from the 1700's too.

I got this strand from France.

It's good for gout and migraines

and expanding your mind,
oh and tooth aches.

Tooth aches, you say?

Who's getting icky with the sticky?

I cultivated it, but I did not inhale.

It smells French.

South of Marseille.

May I?

Ah... Sorry, we ran out of matches.

Ah, then we must invent one.

Woo! Felt that one down in my toes.

I'm surprised those
guys got anything done,

not to mention started a country.

How are we doing?

We're approved for liftoff.

Somebody turned that oven on.

And I'm guessing it
wasn't Betty Crocker.

Good guess.

We're definitely not here alone.

It's clear.

Hey,

you okay?

I'm fine.

Okay. Just checking.

Lefty.

Come on, Cyclops.

Oh, no, after you, Captain Hookless.

Look, I don't want to pry.

But dammit, I dunno.

I don't know why things
have to be so hard.

In between Mack and Lucy,

my eye is the least of what I've lost.

I can still feel my hand in my dreams.

I carry heavy gear and lace my shoes,

hold her hands.

Shoot my gun.

It's like having a friend that was there

but isn't anymore.

You know what I mean.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Hey, buddy?

You okay?

Yeah,

just all these brains laying
around give me the munchies.

Gonna need to stay hungry.

Intruders!

Don't worry, brother!
I'm coming for you!

Brother!

Psst.

No.

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

Sorry, ma'am.

Sit.

You're quite the handyman, Doc.

Yeah, well just think of me

as the Ben Franklin of paraphernalia.

Okay, Mr. Franklin.

So what's the difference
between the Constitution

and the Bill of Rights?

Well, the way I heard it,

everyone was so excited
about writing the rules

for running the government,

they forgot about the people
that the government was for.

Let's just sign this sucker.
Get the party started.

I would rather chop my right
hand off than sign that!

This government that we've created

may protect us from foreign enemies.

But, gentlemen...

Oh, yeah, my bad. No zombies back then.

Ask yourself, who will protect
us from our government?

We need a Bill of Rights!

We're back to work, everyone.

I just opened the Chateau de Chassilier.

Not my fault, quaker oats man!

In order for this nation to work,

individuals need to understand

their inalienable rights as citizens

and know how their government
will protect them.

Okay.

Okay, well do you,
smarty-pants, have a list?

A few.

Freedom of press, freedom of religion,

public release of knowledge

of alien life forms and or technology.

Okay, I can see some of these
going into the Constitution.

Hey, T.J., you're a rights kinda guy.

Write this up.

But I wrote the Constitution.

We wrote the Constitution.

Uh, no, I physically wrote...

Hey, James Madison!

What's up, puff ball.

Hey, can you just like pick
ten and write them up?

- Here you go. Here you go.
- Thanks.

Off to it, puddin' pants.

Great. Great. We're making progress.

We're all making lots of great progress.

Hey, you got some more
of that wacky-tobacky?

So what makes the Bill
of Rights so important?

Well it's your god-given rights

based simply on your humanity.

Unfortunately, the definition
of humanity changed

with the definition of mortality.

Well, that's one way
of thinking about it.

But you know, humanity's also like

compassion and brotherly love.

Like, take that dude for example.

Now, what makes us different from him

when it comes to basic decency?

Does he deserve to be treated
any different than you or I?

No. He has the same right

to live his life without
worrying about the government

coming and taking his stuff,

locking him up, and censoring his words.

That's a zombie.

Yeah. That's... that's a bad example.

But you know what I'm getting at.

It's knowing that you have the
power, not the government.

And it's the government's
job to protect your rights,

not infringe on 'em.

People are so afraid,

they'll do anything the government says.

Like locking up the Talkers.

Yeah, well that's when you
need a Bill of Rights,

when people are afraid and
they don't know what's right.

But what's gonna protect Dante
without a Bill of Rights?

We are.

I'm gonna give yous the same
choice I gave the last goons

that came through here and
tried to shut us down.

Chocolate or vanilla?

Mercy or Talker.

I could ask you the same question.

I don't want to hurt you. But I will.

Looks like we've got
ourselves a zombie standoff.

Yous got me, I got him, and
me brudder's got you both.

We're looking for bizkits.

We have starving Talkers
that are starting to turn.

Look, we're just trying
to survive ourselves.

It's crooks like you that
shut down the bakery

and turned us into a
bunch of dirty dogs.

Lower your weapons and
kindly waltz out of here

or we're all going to be craving brains.

Look, I don't know who you think we are.

But we are not them.

That's what the last bunch said

before they started shooting.

Is that the other brudder
that's got us covered?

Hey, buddy. Dat you, brudder?

Hey, buddy.

This crazy woman here done
bust me right in the honker.

Your brudder's still human.

Let's keep it that way.

So, you's are in need
of some help, are you?

Ay, by' watch out for the one-eyed one.

She's not nice. Not at all.

She's mean like a badger.

I thought you people
spoke English in Canada.

We do's.

You do's?

Besides, ain't no Canada.
Not no more anywho.

Yeah, no 'Merica neither it seems.

Pardon our manners.

I'm Gilly. That there's
my brudder, Skull.

Skully for short.

But that's longer.

Okay, so look, we heard rumors

that you guys bake bizkits here.

Dat's no rumor. Dat's the truth.

Well no offense, but you look
more like butchers than bakers.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

We need bizkits.

Lots of them.

Well for dat, you're gonna
have to talk to me mum.

She's in charge of the baking.

Where might she be?

Mum?

Mum's up dare in the office.

Okay. Can we talk to her?

Well let's just go take a
little looky-loo, shall we?

See what kind of mood she's in.

It's not as easy as all
that, now is it brudder?

No brudder, it isn't.

After the Black Rains,

we was on our way to Newmerica,

and we got turned arse over
tea kettle by a pack of Zs.

Our brudder Brenton got all riled up

and he mercied a bunch of them,

but those Zs took a
right bite outta him.

Yeah, he was a goner for sure.

Yeah, I mean they really filled
their boots with his belly,

but he never turned.

Aye, he started acting a bit rummy

and dead-like, but he was still talking.

So we figured he isn't
dead, he's just sickish.

Yeah, see it wasn't till mum
caught him sneaking brains

that we realized he's one
of these Talker guys.

Yeah, mum got real tired of him
sneaking off to get brains.

So she baked up some roadkill
brains into a bizkit for him.

And the more he ate, the more he
was like the brudder we knew.

See, the bizkits kept him Canadian.

Pretty soon, everybody
wanted mum's bizkits.

So we set up the bakery.

Okay, so what happened?
Why'd y'all stop?

Well, everything was poutine and pie

until somebody blew up the vote.

And we've been under attack from Zs

from out of nowhere ever since.

Sounds like someone didn't
want you making bizkits.

Yeah.

We thought yous was them
come back to finish us off.

So if your mom has this secret recipe,

why can't we just make more bizkits?

Well you'll have to
talk to mum about that.

But she ain't been herself since
our little brudder bit her.

You might say she's a bit cranky
herself without her bizkits.

We had to lock mum up in the
office for her own good.

Since then, the three of us have been

trying to work out the
recipe but come up short.

Three?

Oh, yeah, we had
another brudder, Chilly.

He was with us till he tried
to take the recipe off mum.

So where's he now?

Let me guess.

He didn't get the recipe?

Gilly, look at the big
brains on Red over here.

Hey, hey. Easy.

Easy. Okay, look.

Mum's got the only copy
of the recipe on her.

Okay, she turned about two weeks ago.

Okay, Gilly and I are running
out of options here.

How's a fella supposed to be
getting on like this, eh?

Those deadish bastards
turned our mum and brudders.

Nor be deprived of life,

liberty, or property, without
due process of the law.

How are we gonna make sure
Dante gets due process

when there are vigilantes out there

that think Talkers are
more zombie than human?

What do you think?

I think humans are more
dangerous than Talkers.

Or zombies.

I think the Founding Fathers
would agree with you.

Here, grab the wheel.

That's why they created a Bill of Rights

to protect us from each other.

Many tankards of ale and more
than a few bowls of hemp

were consumed as Washington,
Jefferson, and Franklin

hammered out the first ten
amendments to the Constitution,

better known as the Bill of Rights.

Amendment number one,

the right to bear arms
shall not be infringed.

Do we have to start off with guns?

I mean I like a musket
as much as the next guy,

but putting it first makes
us seem a little gun crazy.

Yeah, okay, we'll flip the first two.

- Put freedom of speech first.
- All right.

- Good.
- It'll look better. For the kids.

Speaking of gun crazy,

we need some wording in there

so nuts like that Sam Adams

does not buy a blunderbuss.

Two beers and he's ready to
challenge his mother to a duel.

Okay, we'll put in some wording about

well regulated militias

so they know we don't mean
just any fool can buy a gun.

Okay. All right, let's just
go down the list, right?

No soldiers in your house.

No illegal search and seizures.

That'll keep the lawyers busy.

All right, you cannot testify
against yourself. Love that.

What happens in Paris
stays in Paris, huh, Ben?

Right, you know.

Paris, good times.

Paris, that's sick.

Good times.

Okay, we'll just skip past.

Right to speedy trial. Right to jury.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Number eight.

No cruel or unusual punishment.

Yeah, that's a tough one.

Considering the whole damn
Apocalypse is cruel and unusual.

Oh, wait, we go down that road

and it won't be too long till
we're using Franklin's kites

to electrocute condemned prisoners.

Yeah, go ahead. Laugh.

But one day, electricity
will power cities.

Mark my word.

And I'm the Easter Bunny.
Okay, Bill of Rights.

Hey! Look who the cat drug in.

It's Alexander Hamilton.

How's the banking business going?

Oh, great.

You cats are all on a new bill.

Ones, fives, twenties, and a c-note.

Which one did I make.
Am I on the hundred?

Well, that's a surprise.

Meanwhile, you guys get
around to abolishing slavery?

Oh, we...

No, we are...

We are talking about that one.
And we're serious about it.

- And...
- Well excuse me, gentlemen.

I sure would appreciate it
if you maybe bit the bullet

and took care of this little problem now

instead of just kicking
that can on down the road.

Man's got a point.

Well that's a cool hat
you got there, stranger.

What's your name?

You didn't see me. I wasn't here.

You didn't see me. I was never here.

That dude belongs on a bill.

Okay.

I dunno much about history,

but I know for damn sure

Abe Lincoln never talked to Ben
Franklin or George Washington.

You are off by like a
hundred years, man.

Well, yeah. But that's not the point.

The point is they should've
dealt with slavery

right from the beginning.

It's a stain on America

that even a Civil War
couldn't make right.

You don't wanna make
that same mistake now.

The only hope Dante has for a fair trial

is if they consider him
to be a human being.

If they make him out to be
anything less than that,

he doesn't stand a chance.
None of the Talkers do.

You really sneak up on a person, Doc.

I still got a few teeth left in my head.

_

How's it going there,
fabulous baker boys?

Dang it.

Jumpin' Jeeziz, you're
cheating. Come on.

Best three outta fiver.
Come on, come on.

- Stop being such a sook, eh!
- Come on, man!

We all need you to keep your wits here

or this is all gonna go
south quicker than a

- Newfie ski-do hittin' ground.
- Newfie ski-do?

That's when you hop on a moose's back

when it's crossin' the river,

and you ride it till it touches down.

If you're still on it after that point,

you better be expecting
a good chomp down

cuz no moose likes a passenger.

- Come on, man. No.
- Come on, come on.

No. Come on, guys.

Come on.

You always pick scissors.

You're dumber than goose poop.

Hit it, Sunburn.

I can't do this.

I don't wanna do this.

- Hey, brudder.
- What?

Oh.

- I love you.
- I love you too, brudder.

- You're a grizzly bear.
- I'm a grizzly bear.

Shh.

Ma and da boys smell like
a yeti's nut sack, eh?

Sunburn?

Where the heck could you be?

Where's this frickin' thing at?

Go, go, go, go.

Where is? Where is?

Oh, zombie Jesus.

The recipe.

The recipe.

Stupid, get out of there.

Oh! He's down!

There he is!

Oh, God.

It's pull, not push, brudder!

Okay, you got to stop pushing!

You got to stop pushing!

Chilly. Chilly, get off!

Come on.

Stay the freak away from me, Chilly!

Get off me, Chilly!

Uh, they got him cornered.

Stay the freak away from me.

That's a bad brudder.

Your brother's got your other
brother by the mullet!

No, by the rat tail!

Chilly!

Chilly, get off your brudder!

Get off me, brudder! Get off me!

Okay, there's mom.

She's got something in her mouth.

I think she's got the
recipe. It's the recipe!

Get off your brudder!

Your brother's riding your
other brother across the room.

Like a horse. No. Like...

No, like a moose. Definitely a moose.

Please don't!

No!

I think the only way to calm
them down at this point is to

feed them actual brains.

Looks like somebody ordered take out.

- You down to pike this one?
- Got it.

Let's get that number up.

Help!

Switch!

Crack this one open.

I'm walking here.

When is everybody gonna see

that we're all in this together?

Skip ahead to the 15th Amendment.

That's the one we got to protect.

The rights of the citizens
of the United States to vote

shall not be denied or
abridged by the United States

or by any state on the
account of race, color...

Or previous condition of servitude.

Yep, that makes sense.

Ya think?

Yeah, well it's gonna take a Civil War

and the 13th Amendment passing first.

Let's just move everything along
and pass the 13th right now.

What do you guys think? What is it?

It abolishes slavery.

Oh.

Like set them free abolish?

This may take some further study.

No, no. No, he's right.

He's right. Okay, hear me out.

What if we were to take the slaves

and we were to make
them like two fifths...

- Make it three fifths.
- Three fifths of a human being.

And then we just kept that
going for about 100 years

until we worked out the kinks.

I don't even know where
to start with you guys.

You got to be kidding me. Just shoot me.

I hope we don't have to fight a war

to make the Talkers full citizens.

We may already be fighting that war.

Everybody dies.

But just because you got no pulse

doesn't mean you don't have any rights.

Everybody dies.

- That's it.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Everybody dies.

Sooner or later,

- we're all Talkers.
- We're all Talkers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's working.

Them brains are doing
the trick for sure.

How you doing, mum?

You with us?

Oh, my.

Did I do this?

Sure as shit, ma. It was yous.

Mum, these Americans
come looking for help.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm sorry you had to see me
looking all dead like this.

And I wish I could've given this place

a quick lick and a promise
before they showed up.

That's okay.

What can we do for ya's?

We're looking for bizkits.

The supply has been cut off,
and we have starving Talkers.

They want to know your secret recipe.

There is so secret.

I was lacing my bizkits with brains

for the first little while.

Then we run short of brains.

We started having flour
delivered from Heartland.

The secret ingredient
is already mixed in.

And the secret sauce is brains? Right?

Oh, no, dear. The secret ingredient is

love.

I don't get it.

Ah, boys.

Look at you.

If I can help someone else
to keep from going through

what we've had to,

so be it.

We got enough brains right here

to make up a batch of
the original recipe.

Let's get shucking.

I like you.

Welcome back.

What?

They didn't get around to
giving women the right to vote

until the 19th Amendment?

And it didn't pass until 1920?

Old white dudes. What can I say?

Takes a long time to get
these things right.

Well we have to it right.

And we don't have a lot of time.

Uh oh. I don't like the look of this.

Is that the truck they had Dante in?

I hope not.

Shit.

No sign of Dante.

Maybe he...

escaped like last time?

Maybe Talkers did this,

let him go?

This is what happens to traitors.

_

I give you mercy.

Mmm. I love the smell

of fresh baked brains in the morning.

Well done, Mr. Murphy.

You better be careful.

We might just keep you
on as a full time baker.

Oh. Marion.

I had a great teacher.

Move over boys.

Hot coming through. Hot.

All right, now

we need to wrap them up

and stick them in here like this.

Psst.

Look, that family is not gonna
make it out there on their own.

Why don't you take them
with you to Limbo?

Yeah, sure.

Limbo could use a bakery.

I like that idea.

I'll take Addy and 10K

and go to Heartland and
figure out this flour thing

and why they stopped the distribution.

Take care of them.

Yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it.

Okay, well then be safe.

No, you be safe out there.

I don't want to have
to go traipsing around

half of Screwmerica
again to save your ass.

I don't care how many times
you got to traipse around,

you might have to save me.

But when you do, pick a color.

I mean it, Warren.

The Apocalypse wouldn't be
half as fun without you in it.

Be careful.

I love you too, Murphy.

God, keep them safe.

What do you think? Maybe you
want to say a few words?

Actions speak louder than words.

_

- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

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