Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,265 --> 00:00:34,766
What are you doin'?
2
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,701
I'm sittin' over here today.
3
00:00:36,769 --> 00:00:37,802
Why?
4
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:39,270
I don't know.
I never sit here.
5
00:00:39,338 --> 00:00:41,172
It's a new perspective.
6
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:43,875
Whatever.
7
00:01:00,192 --> 00:01:03,728
Ok, enough. Could you
just come sit over here?
8
00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:06,430
I want to stay here.
I like it.
9
00:01:06,498 --> 00:01:08,599
♪ Do-do-do-do-
do-do-dai ♪
10
00:01:09,535 --> 00:01:10,769
I got a new seat.
11
00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:12,403
♪ Da-da-ba-da-ba-da ♪
12
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:15,239
Ok, fine.
13
00:01:15,307 --> 00:01:16,340
Ahem.
14
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,749
Ah, this is nice.
15
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,821
You can be so petty sometimes.
16
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:52,143
Oh, my God,
could it be any hotter?
17
00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:54,913
Brutal. Come here, this
helps a little, come here.
18
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:03,287
So, how was your day?
19
00:02:03,355 --> 00:02:04,956
It was good.
How was yours?
20
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,958
It was good.
21
00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:09,694
Ooh, "zesty parmesan."
When did you get that?
22
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,362
Last time I went shopping.
23
00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:13,164
I also got those
vegetable potstickers.
24
00:02:13,232 --> 00:02:14,799
Do you like those?
25
00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:16,400
Mmm, not so much.
26
00:02:16,468 --> 00:02:17,936
Oh.
27
00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:20,138
Ok, I think I'm getting
freezer burn.
28
00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:24,876
Honey, tell me,
29
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:27,411
do I have the word
"pushover" on my forehead?
30
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:32,583
No. But you do have
some kind of sauce.
31
00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:34,619
You're not gonna believe this.
32
00:02:34,686 --> 00:02:37,055
This afternoon, I was at
that cute little spot
33
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:39,624
where I like to throw bread
crumbs to the birds.
34
00:02:39,691 --> 00:02:40,591
Petland?
35
00:02:40,659 --> 00:02:41,726
Right.
36
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:43,828
So, right next door
at the thrift shop,
37
00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:45,730
I saw this beautiful armoire
38
00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:47,298
which would be
perfect for my room,
39
00:02:47,366 --> 00:02:48,399
so I bought it.
40
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:50,568
Oh, good. Maybe now you
can unroll your suits
41
00:02:50,636 --> 00:02:51,702
and hang 'em up.
42
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:52,771
Not so fast.
43
00:02:52,838 --> 00:02:55,073
This is where the story
takes an ugly turn.
44
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:56,875
After we agreed on the price,
45
00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:58,777
he drops a delivery
charge on me.
46
00:02:58,844 --> 00:03:02,147
15 bananas!
That's a lot of clams.
47
00:03:02,214 --> 00:03:04,149
Dad, that's nothing.
Just pay it.
48
00:03:04,216 --> 00:03:06,184
Oh, I'm not gonna do that.
49
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:07,952
The deal was made
and he reneged!
50
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,187
I mean, what am I?
51
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,689
A sap, a sucker,
a butter-and-egg man?
52
00:03:13,525 --> 00:03:15,426
Douglas, what are the
chances I could borrow
53
00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:17,061
your delivery truck
tomorrow, huh?
54
00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:19,998
Mmm, I'm thinking somewhere
in the zero range.
55
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,566
Uh-huh. Wednesday,
then?
56
00:03:22,634 --> 00:03:24,402
Arthur, let me explain
something to you.
57
00:03:24,469 --> 00:03:25,770
The truck doesn't belong to me,
58
00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:27,972
it belongs to the
international parcel service.
59
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,275
That's why you couldn't borrow
it for your paper route,
60
00:03:30,342 --> 00:03:32,277
and that's why you can't
borrow it for this.
61
00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:34,245
Dad, look, here's $15.
62
00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:36,781
Just have them
deliver it. Please.
63
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,983
Oh, that would be easy,
wouldn't it?
64
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:41,886
Yes. Easy.
Easy is good.
65
00:03:41,954 --> 00:03:44,488
Sorry, sweetheart,
but if I took your money
66
00:03:44,556 --> 00:03:47,358
I would never be able to
face the man in the mirror.
67
00:03:50,662 --> 00:03:52,130
The scary thing is,
68
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,299
he's not talking about himself.
69
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,401
♪ Just a little bit ♪
70
00:03:57,469 --> 00:03:59,637
♪ r-e-s-p-e-c-t ♪
71
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:01,739
♪ Find out what
we're gonna be ♪
72
00:04:01,807 --> 00:04:05,076
♪ R-e-s-b-b-b-b,
everybody's in my tree ♪
73
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:06,477
♪ Sock it to me,sock it to me ♪
74
00:04:06,545 --> 00:04:07,912
♪ sock it to me,sock it to me ♪
75
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:09,680
♪ a little respect
76
00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:11,916
♪ whoa, babe,a little respect ♪
77
00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:13,251
♪ just a little bit ♪
78
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:14,352
♪ talking 'bout ♪
79
00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:15,586
♪ just a little bit ♪
80
00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:16,921
♪ keep on tryin' ♪
81
00:04:16,989 --> 00:04:18,522
♪ just a little bit ♪
82
00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:25,429
Give us a break, will you?
83
00:04:25,497 --> 00:04:27,932
We only got one good
hip between us!
84
00:04:30,302 --> 00:04:31,535
Lift with your legs.
85
00:04:31,603 --> 00:04:34,239
Oh, don't tell me how to lift.
86
00:04:47,719 --> 00:04:50,388
Well, it seems as though
fate took a hand, huh?
87
00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:52,456
Yeah.
88
00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:54,192
It would've been simpler
if you agreed
89
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,894
to move my armoire
in the first place,
90
00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:58,429
but it's a good lesson
for next time.
91
00:04:58,497 --> 00:05:00,398
Cookie?
92
00:05:00,465 --> 00:05:01,732
Don't mind if I do.
93
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,135
Mickey, I told you to
stop opening packages.
94
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:07,372
Oh, did ya? This
hearing aid is crap.
95
00:05:07,439 --> 00:05:11,042
I heard "stop
making sausages."
96
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,777
And why would I say that?
97
00:05:14,713 --> 00:05:15,880
Heffernan!
98
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,215
What the hell is going on?
99
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,716
I'm getting callsleft and right
100
00:05:18,784 --> 00:05:20,584
from customerswaiting for drop-offs.
101
00:05:20,652 --> 00:05:22,420
What's that?
That Howard stern fella?
102
00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:25,123
It's Howard stern. He's
talking directly to me.
103
00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:26,891
I'm sorry supervisor O'Boyle,
104
00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,160
see, I got caught up in a
little unexpected delay.
105
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,261
Delay?
106
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:31,729
Yeah, the thing
is I--I--
107
00:05:31,797 --> 00:05:33,932
i--I--I--I don't givea flying crap.
108
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:35,566
Just unplug your headfrom your butt
109
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:36,867
and get the route done.
110
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,070
Absolutely, sir. I'm
gonna be-- Arthur!
111
00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,005
How dare you talk
to that man like that.
112
00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:42,006
Arthur.
113
00:05:42,074 --> 00:05:43,341
Who is this?
114
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,609
This is your worst
nightmare, friend.
115
00:05:45,677 --> 00:05:47,611
I was in the U.S. army,
33rd brigade,
116
00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:49,380
and I'm telling you
to step off.
117
00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:50,448
Yeah?
118
00:05:50,515 --> 00:05:52,583
Well, I wasin the 42nd brigade.
119
00:05:52,651 --> 00:05:54,385
42nd, huh?
120
00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:55,686
Pretty tough bunch.
121
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:56,887
You're on your own here.
122
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,023
Oh, what a wuss.
123
00:05:59,091 --> 00:06:00,691
Shut up, old man.
124
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,367
Oh, you are home.
125
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:10,501
What are you doing in here?
126
00:06:10,569 --> 00:06:11,970
I--I can't go
in that house.
127
00:06:12,037 --> 00:06:13,604
If I--if I'm in the same
building with him,
128
00:06:13,672 --> 00:06:15,206
I'll--I'll do something.
129
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,541
Something unholy involving
him and that armoire.
130
00:06:17,609 --> 00:06:18,709
Doug, just relax.
131
00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:20,311
What happened with
your boss today?
132
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,313
He reamed me out in front
of the entire office!
133
00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:23,414
And then he assigned me
134
00:06:23,482 --> 00:06:25,116
to package-sorting duty
for a week.
135
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,418
Package sorting. He might as
well have thrown a wig on me
136
00:06:27,486 --> 00:06:28,752
and called me Sally.
137
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:30,521
All right, Doug, listen,
I will go downstairs,
138
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:32,857
and I will talk to my dad. I'll
just tell him he's gotta--
139
00:06:32,924 --> 00:06:34,892
gotta what? What? What?
Stop being a lunatic?
140
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,560
I will start there, yes.
141
00:06:36,628 --> 00:06:39,497
Listen, honey, I'm gonna
ask you a question here,
142
00:06:39,564 --> 00:06:42,200
and I don't want you to
take this the wrong way.
143
00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:45,069
Does anyone else
know he's here?
144
00:06:45,137 --> 00:06:47,738
Stop. Come on, it just
seems worse than it is
145
00:06:47,806 --> 00:06:49,974
because it's, like,
100 degrees in here
146
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:52,576
and you've been breathing in
a lot of paint thinner.
147
00:06:52,644 --> 00:06:54,178
Now, let's just go inside
148
00:06:54,246 --> 00:06:57,515
and take a nice cool shower.
149
00:06:57,582 --> 00:06:59,183
Mmm, keep talkin'.
150
00:07:00,152 --> 00:07:02,453
I'll let you videotape it.
151
00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:05,656
Oh, sorry, darling, I didn't
realize you were-- you were home.
152
00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:07,025
Hi, daddy.
153
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:09,494
Heard you and Doug had a
little adventure today.
154
00:07:09,561 --> 00:07:11,962
Indeed we did. And on
that note, Douglas,
155
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,665
there's something
that needs to be said.
156
00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:17,868
I'm listening.
157
00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:20,704
You put a nasty little
Nick in my armoire.
158
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:24,042
That's what needs to be said?
159
00:07:24,109 --> 00:07:26,310
Ok, you know what? Why don't
you come inside, dad?
160
00:07:26,378 --> 00:07:29,013
I'll make you a nice
baked apple. Come on.
161
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,381
I realize you were distracted
162
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:32,650
by your boss' hurtful
comments about your weight,
163
00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:36,020
but you might be a little bit
more careful in the future.
164
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:39,290
Your customers may not
be as forgiving as I am.
165
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:42,326
Baked apple, right this way.
166
00:07:42,394 --> 00:07:44,062
Arthur, do--do you
understand at all
167
00:07:44,129 --> 00:07:45,596
that you almost got me canned?
168
00:07:45,664 --> 00:07:46,997
You know, it's bad enough
169
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,499
that you trounce
all over my home,
170
00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,134
do you have to trounce
on my job, too?
171
00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:51,802
That's too much trouncing.
172
00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:54,572
Oh, you think this living
arrangement is easy for me?
173
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:56,807
You think I like walking
around here on eggshells?
174
00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,743
Eggshells? Is that what we've been
getting here for the past few--
175
00:07:59,811 --> 00:08:01,079
eggshells?
You on eggshells?
176
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:04,382
Well, thank you
for holding back!
177
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:06,951
All right, enough.
The both of you.
178
00:08:07,018 --> 00:08:08,586
Now, let's all just go inside,
179
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:10,388
I will make you a baked apple,
180
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:11,722
I will take a shower--
181
00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:15,093
reverse that. Let's
just all go inside.
182
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,262
Douglas, obviously my living
here is very unpleasant for you.
183
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,264
Perhaps I should make
some other arrangements.
184
00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:21,365
Dad, stop it.
185
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,000
No, no, no, no. I'm interested.
Go on.
186
00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,336
Where would you go? Where would you go?
Come on, come on.
187
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:26,937
Where would you go?
I have options.
188
00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:28,406
Options? Oh, so
there are several
189
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:30,541
mental institutions wooing you?
190
00:08:30,609 --> 00:08:33,777
So, I'm just a crazy old man
who can't hack it on my own,
191
00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:35,546
is that what you think?
192
00:08:35,614 --> 00:08:37,148
Yes.
193
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,750
That's not stopping.
194
00:08:39,818 --> 00:08:41,752
Well, let me tell you
something, Douglas.
195
00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:44,255
I've been on my own
since I was 17.
196
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,023
I could take care
of myself then,
197
00:08:46,091 --> 00:08:48,426
and I can take care
of myself now.
198
00:08:49,694 --> 00:08:51,962
Where'd that door go?
199
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:53,231
It's over here, dad.
200
00:08:53,298 --> 00:08:55,833
Fine. I'm gonna
get my things.
201
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,301
I'll be staying at Mickey's
202
00:08:57,369 --> 00:09:00,204
until I can find a more
permanent situation!
203
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,073
Oh, my God!
204
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:04,509
God!
205
00:09:04,576 --> 00:09:07,345
Doug, was that
really necessary?
206
00:09:07,412 --> 00:09:08,812
What are you talkin' about?
207
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,515
Why did you have
to provoke him?
208
00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,383
Oh, yeah, I'm--I'm
the bad guy here, huh?
209
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:13,751
He gets to do
whatever he wants.
210
00:09:13,818 --> 00:09:15,253
I say one little comment
211
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,021
about how he should be
in a mental institution,
212
00:09:17,088 --> 00:09:18,989
and I'm the big provoker.
213
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:21,192
Yes.
214
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,127
Doug, come on, you know him,
you know the way he is.
215
00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:25,696
He's like a 75-year-old
2-year-old.
216
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:28,098
You can't let him pull you in.
217
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:29,800
You just gotta nod and smile
218
00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:31,835
and hang his drawings
up on the refrigerator.
219
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:33,571
Have you seen his
drawings, by the way?
220
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,373
Scary stuff.
221
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,475
Come on, sweetie, could
you just go downstairs
222
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:38,676
and say you're sorry?
223
00:09:38,743 --> 00:09:39,810
No.
Doug.
224
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:41,646
Carrie, no, I'm tired
of it, all right?
225
00:09:41,713 --> 00:09:43,881
That basement was my t.V.
Room, my fort, you know?
226
00:09:43,948 --> 00:09:46,484
And I gave it up to him 'cause
he didn't have a place to live.
227
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:47,951
And if he can't
appreciate that,
228
00:09:48,019 --> 00:09:49,687
well, you know what?
Let him move out.
229
00:09:49,754 --> 00:09:52,156
Doug, what do you
want me to say?
230
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,391
That he's crazy?
231
00:09:53,458 --> 00:09:55,059
That he makes you crazy?
232
00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:57,228
That he's a strain
on our marriage?
233
00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:58,996
I admit all of that.
234
00:09:59,064 --> 00:10:00,964
Now, go beg him to stay.
235
00:10:03,802 --> 00:10:05,303
All right, that's it.
236
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:07,705
I've taken only what
I came here with
237
00:10:07,772 --> 00:10:09,607
and some hand towels.
238
00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:12,743
A-Arthur?
239
00:10:12,811 --> 00:10:13,844
Yes?
240
00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:15,680
Look,
241
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:18,015
I'm sorry.
242
00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:21,519
I like having you here,
243
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:24,188
and we want you to stay.
244
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,591
Oh, I see Dr. Jekyll
has returned.
245
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:28,726
Frankly, Douglas,
246
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:31,329
your mood swings
are frightening.
247
00:10:33,198 --> 00:10:35,132
Case in point.
Goodbye.
248
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:39,036
I'll send for my armoire!
249
00:10:48,913 --> 00:10:49,847
Ahh.
250
00:10:49,914 --> 00:10:51,249
That's nice.
251
00:10:51,316 --> 00:10:52,516
Sweet.
252
00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:54,518
Comin' back to papa.
253
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,589
Oh, yeah, feels good.
254
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,459
Sassy.
255
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,027
Bring it, baby.
256
00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:06,664
Uh, guys, why is the fan
stopping short of me?
257
00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:10,834
'Cause we angled it that way.
258
00:11:10,902 --> 00:11:12,737
That's--that's
not fair.
259
00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,872
Hey, there's only enough
oscillation for 3 guys.
260
00:11:14,939 --> 00:11:16,240
Just have another popsicle.
261
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,908
I've had 6.
262
00:11:17,976 --> 00:11:20,411
You know, y'all keep
treating me this way,
263
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,813
I could very well
leave the group.
264
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,818
I'm not kidding. There
are some guys at work
265
00:11:27,886 --> 00:11:30,354
that have shown some
serious interest in me.
266
00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:34,925
I'm gonna let that sink in...
267
00:11:34,993 --> 00:11:37,695
While I get another popsicle.
268
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:41,231
Ahem.
269
00:11:41,866 --> 00:11:43,267
Hello?
270
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,235
Oh, hi, Arthur.
271
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:47,305
No, Carrie's not here.
272
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:49,307
It's just me and the guys.
273
00:11:50,642 --> 00:11:52,343
Fine. Hold on.
274
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:53,844
He says he wants
to talk to anyone
275
00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:56,447
whose name doesn't
rhyme with "uglas."
276
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,082
I'll take it.
277
00:12:00,552 --> 00:12:01,652
Hello?
278
00:12:02,921 --> 00:12:03,987
Hang on.
279
00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:06,524
He wants me to ask you
how you're doing.
280
00:12:07,091 --> 00:12:08,626
I'm fine.
281
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:09,960
He's fine.
282
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:14,064
He says, "I don't care.
Ha, ha, ha."
283
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,635
Is that it?
284
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:19,036
Oh, yeah?
285
00:12:19,103 --> 00:12:20,805
Oh, good for you.
286
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,340
Yeah, sure.
287
00:12:22,407 --> 00:12:23,874
All right, take it easy.
288
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:25,042
What?
289
00:12:25,109 --> 00:12:27,378
He moved into his own
apartment yesterday.
290
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:28,579
Are you kidding me?
No.
291
00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:30,448
He' s having a housewarming
party tomorrow
292
00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:32,883
and Carrie's invited,
plus a guest.
293
00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:37,488
I c-can't believe it.
He's actually doing this.
294
00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:39,724
We figured he'd be back
here in a couple days,
295
00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:41,024
but he actually moved out.
296
00:12:41,092 --> 00:12:42,059
He's really gone.
297
00:12:42,126 --> 00:12:45,663
Oh, I owe you one, big guy.
298
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:47,698
All right, careful.
Careful...
299
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:49,299
My finger's getting crushed.
300
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:50,901
Hey. It's just
a finger, ok?
301
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:52,603
This is an entire
entertainment system,
302
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:54,638
so suck it up.
303
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:56,106
Can we get some room over here?
304
00:12:56,174 --> 00:12:57,608
You're not even
holding any of it.
305
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:59,109
I'm guiding it.
306
00:12:59,177 --> 00:13:01,245
Hey. You ladies wanna
settle that, huh?
307
00:13:01,312 --> 00:13:02,747
Spence's nose is
starting to bleed.
308
00:13:02,814 --> 00:13:04,047
Thank you.
309
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:06,484
Doug?
310
00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:07,551
Hi, honey.
Hi, carr'.
311
00:13:07,619 --> 00:13:08,552
My finger.
312
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:10,721
What's going on?
313
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,523
Why are you moving
the t.V. Back downstairs?
314
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:14,892
Oh, get ready for
some great news.
315
00:13:14,959 --> 00:13:16,427
Your dad found
his own apartment.
316
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:17,528
What?
317
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,263
Yeah, he called
about a half hour ago.
318
00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:21,465
Boy, the old fella sure
showed us a thing or 2, huh?
319
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:23,233
Ok, next 2 steps, let's go.
320
00:13:23,301 --> 00:13:24,735
Wait a minute.
What?
321
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,204
I don't know what stupid
thing my father's up to,
322
00:13:27,272 --> 00:13:28,873
but he can't live on his own!
323
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,140
You said that yourself!
324
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:32,643
Yeah, but I was wrong.
Give the guy some credit.
325
00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:34,912
Ok, this is wreaking havoc
326
00:13:34,979 --> 00:13:37,448
with my one descended
testicle here.
327
00:13:40,151 --> 00:13:42,352
God, he's probably
sitting in a tiny room
328
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,922
all by himself, with roaches,
329
00:13:44,989 --> 00:13:46,657
cooking on a hot plate,
330
00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:48,559
listening to his
crappy little radio...
331
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:51,094
Hey, it's a nice radio, hon'.
332
00:13:51,162 --> 00:13:53,063
How could I even let him leave?
333
00:13:53,131 --> 00:13:54,565
I'm his daughter.
334
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,667
I'm supposed to be
taking care of him.
335
00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:58,936
C-come on, honey,
he's gonna be fine.
336
00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:00,337
I love you.
337
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,875
What are we doing here?
Up or down?
338
00:14:04,943 --> 00:14:06,276
I don't know.
339
00:14:06,344 --> 00:14:09,079
Deke, go see what she's
doing in the kitchen, huh?
340
00:14:14,185 --> 00:14:15,619
How you doing?
341
00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:19,389
She's sitting at the table.
342
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,825
And?
343
00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:22,626
Crying.
But not hard.
344
00:14:24,629 --> 00:14:26,229
Back up, back up.
345
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:31,802
Honey, it's a housewarming.
346
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,571
I still say we should've
brought something.
347
00:14:33,638 --> 00:14:36,139
If not a plant, at least a pie.
348
00:14:36,207 --> 00:14:38,742
Doug, we are not going
for a housewarming.
349
00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:41,278
We are going there to tell
him, without fighting,
350
00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:42,546
that he can't live like this
351
00:14:42,614 --> 00:14:44,147
and he has to come home.
352
00:14:44,215 --> 00:14:45,950
Fine.
353
00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:48,285
I can't see
how a pie would hurt.
354
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:51,755
Welcome!
355
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,593
Hey, Arthur.
356
00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:59,029
So, darling, what do you think?
357
00:15:00,431 --> 00:15:02,533
Dad, I--I want you
to come home.
358
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:04,802
You can't live like this.
359
00:15:06,204 --> 00:15:08,739
Honey, come on,
there's an omelet bar.
360
00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:13,644
I gotta tell you,
361
00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:17,347
the man throws a great party.
362
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:20,684
I had no idea he could
play the piano like that.
363
00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:22,620
Mmm-hmm.
364
00:15:22,687 --> 00:15:25,255
Come on, honey, cheer up. This
is a great situation for him.
365
00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:26,456
He was living in a basement,
366
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:27,491
now he's got a
367
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,292
deluxe apartment in the
368
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,996
♪ sky 7
369
00:15:32,063 --> 00:15:34,598
I don't understand why
you're not happy for him.
370
00:15:34,666 --> 00:15:37,968
I am. I just--
I feel guilty.
371
00:15:38,036 --> 00:15:39,570
About what?
372
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,471
Well, he was with us
for a year,
373
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,642
and I had a real chance to get
closer to him and I didn't.
374
00:15:44,709 --> 00:15:45,843
I just blew him off.
375
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:46,844
No.
376
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,246
Doug, there are some days
377
00:15:49,313 --> 00:15:52,449
that all I said to him
was, "good morning."
378
00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:53,984
And not even
a full "good morning."
379
00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:56,053
It was more like
a "g'morning."
380
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,522
I couldn't even
give him the "ood."
381
00:16:01,893 --> 00:16:03,794
Do you know that there
was one day last week
382
00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:06,329
that I actually hid from him?
383
00:16:06,397 --> 00:16:07,932
Hey, who hasn't?
384
00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:11,635
Now, come on,
this is good, right?
385
00:16:11,703 --> 00:16:13,470
I mean, we got our life back.
386
00:16:13,538 --> 00:16:14,838
Oh, I know.
387
00:16:14,906 --> 00:16:16,941
It's good, I guess.
388
00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:19,076
Hey, I know what'll put
a smile on your face.
389
00:16:19,143 --> 00:16:21,579
How about I go splash those
people at that bus stop.
390
00:16:23,748 --> 00:16:26,584
Well, if you're gonna do it,
you're gonna have to speed up.
391
00:16:30,455 --> 00:16:32,089
All I'm saying is
392
00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:34,792
in Europe, women's
breasts are no big deal.
393
00:16:34,859 --> 00:16:37,094
They lie topless
on the beach all day,
394
00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:39,096
and men don't even care.
395
00:16:39,163 --> 00:16:41,865
You ever stop to think that European
guys just pretend not to care
396
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:44,468
so the women will
take their tops off?
397
00:16:44,535 --> 00:16:45,469
Yeah.
398
00:16:45,536 --> 00:16:47,004
This way they get to sip coffee
399
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,439
and stare at boobies
all day long.
400
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:51,976
Boobies?
401
00:16:52,043 --> 00:16:54,511
That's interesting. You think
that would work on women here?
402
00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:55,913
Nah, it would take
too many years
403
00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:58,348
to fool women into thinking
that we don't care.
404
00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:01,251
Although, it would be something
nice to do for future generations.
405
00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:02,519
Yeah.
406
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:05,623
I'd like my son to grow up
in that kind of world.
407
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:07,992
Well, I'm out of here.
408
00:17:08,059 --> 00:17:09,493
I gotta go back
to the firehouse.
409
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,194
Yeah, I gotta roll, too.
410
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:12,997
Oh, uh, one of you
give me a ride?
411
00:17:13,064 --> 00:17:15,966
Yeah, sure, you can
hop in the trunk.
412
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:17,434
Remember Friday night,
413
00:17:17,502 --> 00:17:19,402
uh, mets-braves,
right here, ok?
414
00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:22,072
Oh, hey, and we're breaking in the
George foreman healthy grill,
415
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:23,540
so bring your chopped meat.
416
00:17:34,485 --> 00:17:35,853
Douglas?
417
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,521
Hey, Arthur.
What brings you by?
418
00:17:37,588 --> 00:17:39,023
Uh, in my haste to pack,
419
00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:41,625
I inadvertently took
a 3-pronged adapter.
420
00:17:41,693 --> 00:17:43,393
I believe this is yours.
421
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:45,362
We were worried.
Thank you.
422
00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:46,630
Hey, can I get you a beer?
423
00:17:46,698 --> 00:17:49,266
Sure. That's what
the air bags are for.
424
00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:55,539
By the way, I'm glad
you could make it over
425
00:17:55,606 --> 00:17:57,675
to my soiree the other night.
426
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,977
Well, thanks for the invite.
I had a great time.
427
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,512
Ah, you really knocked 'em
dead with the charades.
428
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:03,814
Of course, you, uh, lucked out
429
00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:06,817
with the
"Jake and the fatman."
430
00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:08,385
Yeah, I really
caught a break, huh?
431
00:18:08,452 --> 00:18:09,486
Yeah.
432
00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:13,090
Yeah.
433
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,993
The old room.
434
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:19,362
This really takes me back.
435
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:22,265
So, how are you and Carrie
doing since I left?
436
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:23,734
Great.
We're doing fine.
437
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:26,436
You sure? 'Cause sometimes
someone moves out,
438
00:18:26,504 --> 00:18:27,905
and everything
gets out of whack.
439
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,208
Trust me,
everything's in whack.
440
00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:32,409
Good.
441
00:18:32,476 --> 00:18:35,579
'Cause if my leaving
caused any problems,
442
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:37,047
I'd move right back in.
443
00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:43,020
Hey, you'd have
to kill me first.
444
00:18:45,323 --> 00:18:47,057
Ah, no, seriously, Arthur,
445
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,792
I'm, you know, I'm
really happy for you.
446
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:50,060
You found your own apartment
447
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:52,562
and, uh, I hope you enjoy it.
448
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:54,798
Speaking of the apartment,
449
00:18:54,866 --> 00:18:58,368
any chance you could lend me
$1,700 a month indefinitely?
450
00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:01,638
What?
451
00:19:01,706 --> 00:19:04,208
I may have over-leveraged
myself a bit
452
00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:05,709
in getting that place.
453
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:07,510
What are you saying?
You can't afford it?
454
00:19:07,578 --> 00:19:10,547
Mmm, not at
the present time, no.
455
00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:12,249
Although, I have
an idea for something
456
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:13,450
that could make millions,
457
00:19:13,517 --> 00:19:15,619
if a lot of left-handed
people are willing
458
00:19:15,686 --> 00:19:18,055
to give me a weekend
of their time.
459
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:21,258
What is wrong with you?
460
00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:23,026
Why did you take a place
that you can't pay for?
461
00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:25,829
I wanted to prove that you were wrong.
That I could live on my own.
462
00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:27,330
But you couldn't.
463
00:19:27,398 --> 00:19:29,666
Only because I didn't
have the money.
464
00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:30,901
Well, that's a big part
465
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:32,936
of the "living
on your own" package.
466
00:19:33,004 --> 00:19:34,571
Fair enough.
467
00:19:34,639 --> 00:19:35,873
Now that we agree on that,
468
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,775
let's talk about
my moving back in.
469
00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:40,177
When will your truck
be available?
470
00:19:45,449 --> 00:19:46,616
Douglas?
471
00:19:48,352 --> 00:19:50,553
So, you want to move
back in, huh?
472
00:19:50,621 --> 00:19:52,722
That would be real convenient
for you, wouldn't it?
473
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,524
You leave for a few days,
474
00:19:54,592 --> 00:19:56,026
you bounce around the
outside world for a while
475
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,962
like that bird who's
"cuckoo for cocoa puffs,"
476
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,531
and then you just
waltz back in.
477
00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:03,200
Well, you know what, Arthur?
478
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:04,968
Take my basement back.
479
00:20:05,036 --> 00:20:06,736
It's yours. You know what?
Fine, take it.
480
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:07,838
And while you're at it,
481
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,439
why don't you take
the t.V., too?
482
00:20:09,507 --> 00:20:11,474
And--and the fussballtable,
483
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:13,143
and, uh, hey, the couch.
484
00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:14,778
It yours.
It's all yours.
485
00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:18,682
Hey, take my mustard-stained
jets blanket, huh?
486
00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:21,151
Oh, and--and my
baseball encyclopedia,
487
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:24,454
oh, and my x-rated video
with the label,
488
00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,389
"bad news bears go to Japan,"
489
00:20:26,457 --> 00:20:28,926
so Carrie won't notice it.
490
00:20:28,993 --> 00:20:30,294
Take it all, Arthur!
491
00:20:30,361 --> 00:20:31,795
Hey, what else can
I get for you?
492
00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,063
Hey, do you want the flooring?
493
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:34,464
'Cause I could rip up
the carpet.
494
00:20:34,532 --> 00:20:35,933
Come on, what else
can I give you?
495
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,701
How 'bout my kidneys?
Come on, I have 2.
496
00:20:37,768 --> 00:20:40,470
What the hell,
take 'em both, Arthur!
497
00:20:40,538 --> 00:20:42,739
God, why should I
have anything, right?
498
00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:44,708
All I do is
go to work every day
499
00:20:44,775 --> 00:20:46,443
and pay my mortgage on time.
500
00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:47,777
And when it's not on time,
501
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:50,580
it's certainly within
the grace period!
502
00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:55,752
But I guess that means
nothing. Nothing!
503
00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:57,054
And you know what?
That's fine.
504
00:20:57,121 --> 00:20:59,389
I'll just be a guy
going through life
505
00:20:59,457 --> 00:21:01,225
with no basement
506
00:21:01,292 --> 00:21:02,625
and no kidneys!
507
00:21:42,733 --> 00:21:45,202
Ok, keep doing it.
You got it. You got it.
508
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:46,803
All right,
shimmy it up, will you?
509
00:21:46,871 --> 00:21:49,239
For God's sake,
lift with your legs.
35971
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
