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1
00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:06,040
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,840
Oh, uh,
that's my pillow.
3
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,350
What?
4
00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:19,430
That pillow behind you.
That one--
5
00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,140
that one's mine.
6
00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:24,060
Well, there's 2 perfectly good
pillows right there.
7
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:25,310
No way. This one's
too puffy,
8
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:26,650
and this one's
too flat.
9
00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:28,520
Can I have my pillow,
please? I need it.
10
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,570
It's perfect for
my special head needs.
11
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:33,150
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm all set up here,
12
00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:35,490
so why don't you lay
your special head
13
00:00:35,530 --> 00:00:37,700
on one of these pillows,
close your eyes,
14
00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:39,620
and fall asleep?
15
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,330
Is that what you think
happens here every night?
16
00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:46,920
I just close my eyes
and fall asleep?
17
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,380
Yeah. That's pretty much
how it goes down.
18
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:52,050
DOUG: Okay, Carrie,
that is my pillow,
19
00:00:52,090 --> 00:00:55,010
and I want her now.
20
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:57,050
And I am
telling you, Doug,
21
00:00:57,090 --> 00:01:00,600
that I'm...not...moving.
22
00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:37,840
Yeah, yeah.
23
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,980
You know what?
You are such a baby.
24
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:47,350
-DOUG: Yeah.
-Here, here.
25
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:50,270
And now I'm gonna
sleep like one, too.
26
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,670
Actually, I think
that's my pillow,
27
00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:12,790
right there.
28
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,090
SINGER: * My eyes aregettin' weary*
29
00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:18,510
* My back is gettin' tight*
30
00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,510
* I'm sittin' herein traffic*
31
00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:23,470
* On the Queensboro bridgetonight*
32
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:28,730
* But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
33
00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:33,310
* Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
34
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,230
* 'Cause, baby,all my life*
35
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:41,200
* I will be drivin' hometo you*
36
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,540
Gin rummy, you and me,
right now.
37
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,710
Oh, I'm sorry, dad.
38
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,760
I have to finish
this report.
39
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,590
You can keep dealing.
I'm still not playing.
40
00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:05,760
Dad, if you
have nothing to do,
41
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,180
why don't you go down
to the senior center?
42
00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:10,690
No. Not as long as
George Barksdale is president.
43
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:13,400
He picks the movies,
he picks the pudding,
44
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,650
and if you cross him,
45
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:17,780
good luck in getting
a bingo card.
46
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,030
Well, if you're
so unhappy,
47
00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:20,570
why don't you
just say something?
48
00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:23,570
The last guy who did that
was "accidentally"
49
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,740
run over
by a rascal scooter.
50
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,790
Barksdale's goons
are everywhere.
51
00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:34,250
I'll telling you
I gave it back to you.
52
00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:35,500
No, you didn't.
53
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:37,920
Oh. You came a long way
for some humble pie.
54
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,760
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Carr.
55
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,720
Carr, Deacon
seems to think
56
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,050
we have his Earth,
Wind and Fire box set.
57
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,140
Now, you haven't
seen it, right?
58
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,730
Yes. It's right there
on the bookshelf.
59
00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:54,400
I told you to give it
back to him.
60
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,480
Thanks.
61
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,650
Okay, was this...
not clear to you?
62
00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:03,280
-Anyway, I'm gonna head out.
-What are you talking about?
63
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,820
I thought we were
gonna watch the Knicks.
64
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,070
No, I gotta get up
early to take
65
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,200
that personnel evaluation
test at work.
66
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,580
No, they didn't tell you?
It's optional.
67
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,040
I know. I'm still taking it.
68
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,000
Okay, do you know
what "optional" means?
69
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,630
Hey, I don't want to be
a driver my whole life.
70
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:17,880
Here's a chance for me
to improve myself
71
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,210
and move up
in the company.
72
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,960
I think I can get up
an hour earlier for that.
73
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,800
Yeah? Well, while you're
improving yourself,
74
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:23,930
I'll be laying in bed
75
00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:25,760
holding in
a bladderful of pee.
76
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,350
Ha ha ha!
77
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:29,390
[DOOR CLOSES]
78
00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:31,390
Ha ha ha!
79
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:35,480
What's this test
Deacon's talking about?
80
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,690
It's nothing.
81
00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:38,150
Well, he said
it can help you move up
82
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,820
in the company. How come
you're not taking it?
83
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:43,110
Okay, does anybody know
what "optional" means?
84
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,820
It's not for
a specific promotion.
85
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:47,870
It's just some kind
of general aptitude thing.
86
00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:49,910
Oh, I see. So you're
taking yourself
87
00:04:49,950 --> 00:04:52,750
out of the running
for any promotion ever?
88
00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:55,170
From your lips
to his ears.
89
00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:57,250
Look, Carrie, I'd probably
do lousy at it, anyway.
90
00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:58,170
Well, how do you know
91
00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,670
if you don't even
try, Doug?
92
00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,170
You know, we've been
married for 10 years,
93
00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:03,760
but I've never seen you
really try for anything.
94
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,050
Believe me,
I've tried for things.
95
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:07,010
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You did try to finish
96
00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:09,470
Newark's
biggest burrito.
97
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,520
It would've been free.
98
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:13,640
All right, forget it.
99
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,730
I'm sorry I even
brought it up.
100
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:24,030
You know, I did try
for something once.
101
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:26,820
DOUG: It was 1989,
102
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,070
and I wasworking as a bouncer
103
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,780
at this placecalled Poison,
104
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:33,080
one of the hottest clubsin Queens,
105
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,290
but what Ireally wanted to be...
106
00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:38,250
was a bartender.
107
00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:40,840
The movieCocktail wastaking the world by storm,
108
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,710
and dishing out boozewas the coolest job
109
00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:44,420
a guy could have.
110
00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:49,390
Then finally one night,my boss said the magic words
111
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:50,930
I'd been waiting to hear.
112
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:52,390
[DOUG'S VOICE]
Mike called in sick.
113
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:53,810
He ate some bad salmon.
114
00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:56,270
He's been on the toiletall day.
115
00:05:58,350 --> 00:06:01,560
I finally got my shot.
116
00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,570
Oh!
117
00:06:03,610 --> 00:06:06,740
Aah! Oh!
118
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:08,490
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
119
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:11,870
[PEOPLE SHOUTING]
120
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:26,920
You understand now?
121
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,050
CARRIE: Well, I don't
remember Cocktail
122
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,260
taking the world
by storm,
123
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,180
but other than that,
yeah, I guess.
124
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:35,270
Let me tell you,
I learned something that night.
125
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:38,100
You don't try for things,
you don't get hurt.
126
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:40,600
Doug, is this all
because of what happened
127
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,650
15 years ago
at some stupid club?
128
00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:45,940
Stupid? Okay. Stupid club.
129
00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:48,900
That's why Bell, Biv,
and Devoe were regulars.
130
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:55,120
All I'm saying,
in my career, okay,
131
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,080
I try for things
and yet I fail,
132
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,000
and it hurts,
but I keep trying.
133
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,620
You want to know why?
134
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,710
You're a slow learner?
135
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:06,170
No, because I want
a better life for us.
136
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,760
Heh! Better?!
137
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,930
[WHEEZING LAUGH]
138
00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:12,390
Doug, please.
139
00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:14,300
Look, Carrie, I don't know
what you want from me, okay?
140
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,470
I'm just a truck driver,
and I'm fine with that.
141
00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:17,930
Why can't you be?
142
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,060
Because I don't think you're
just a truck driver, Doug.
143
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:23,100
I think you're
a smart, talented guy
144
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:25,730
who could do anything
he wants to.
145
00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:29,030
I just wish
you felt the same way.
146
00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:34,450
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
147
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,120
-I did it!
-Did what?
148
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,370
I thought about
what you said last night,
149
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,880
and you're right.
I shouldn't be afraid
150
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,840
to try something,
so I went out and I did it.
151
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,420
You took
the I.P.S. Test?
152
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:50,630
No, no, no. I enrolled
in bartending school.
153
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,180
Bartending school?
154
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,350
Yeah, it's a 2-week course.
155
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,310
I already called Paddy
down at Cooper's.
156
00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:01,640
He's gonna give me
some shifts
157
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,190
as soon as
I get my certification.
158
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,360
CARRIE: Doug, you're
gonna be a bartender
159
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,320
and quit
your job at I.P.S.?
160
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,320
No, no, no, not yet,
but, hey, who knows
161
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,150
where this wild ride
is gonna take us, you know?
162
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:13,450
All right, you know what?
I don't want a wild ride.
163
00:08:13,490 --> 00:08:15,910
Hey, you know what? Maybe
someday we'll have our own bar.
164
00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:18,700
We can call it
"Doug's Place."
165
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:21,000
-Okay. Slow down, honey--
-Or I can change my name
166
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,210
to Melrose, and we can call it
"Melrose Place.
167
00:08:25,290 --> 00:08:26,880
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
168
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,710
-I'm going back to school.
-Oh, great!
169
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,090
CARRIE: Yeah, bartending school.
170
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:32,130
Ooh, better yet.
171
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,180
Bravo, Douglas, and while
we're making announcements,
172
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:37,180
I've decided to run
for senior center president.
173
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,560
-Good for you.
-ARTHUR: Yes.
174
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,560
I'm going to end Barksdale's
reign of terror
175
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,980
and begin my own.
176
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,270
All right,
see you guys later.
177
00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:48,270
-DOUG: All right.
-Bartender.
178
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,610
Rowrr!
179
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,360
Doug, you have
a union job
180
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,870
with a pension
and health benefits.
181
00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:00,950
You can't throw all that away.
That's crazy.
182
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:02,500
I know it's crazy,
but you told me
183
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,250
I'm talented and I'm great,
and you said
184
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:05,710
I could do whatever
I wanted, right?
185
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:07,080
Yes.
186
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,710
Well, if you believe in me,
that's all I need.
187
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,460
Mmwah! Ha ha!
188
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:16,050
Crap.
189
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:22,970
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
190
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,060
All right, everybody,
settle down.
191
00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:30,940
So...
192
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:34,490
you people think you have
what it takes, huh?
193
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:37,200
Think you can cut it?
194
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,450
Think you got
the right stuff?
195
00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:42,450
Is this the 1, 2, 3
bartending class?
196
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:44,620
-Get out.
-Huh?
197
00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:47,370
Get out!
198
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,080
You thought
this was gonna be easy.
199
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,630
Well, let me tell you
something.
200
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:53,760
1 out of 3 of you ain't gonna
make it through this course,
201
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,420
so I want you to look
at the person to your left
202
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,430
and look at the person
to your right,
203
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:01,850
because one of those people
ain't gonna be here tomorrow,
204
00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:04,720
and that person could--
205
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,180
where are you
looking, meat?
206
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,150
I--I--didn't have
anybody to my right, so I just--
207
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:10,230
you know what?
I'll go--
208
00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:12,320
-Sit down.
-I'm gonna sit down.
209
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:18,280
All right, let's dive in.
210
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:21,320
Rule number one.
211
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:25,370
A depressed customer
is the best customer.
212
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:31,540
SINGER:
* Off the Florida keys*
213
00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:36,630
* There's a placecalled Kokomo*
214
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:40,050
* That's whereyou wanna go*
215
00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:43,390
* To get away from it all*
216
00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:49,060
* Bodies in the sand*
217
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:53,480
* Tropical drink meltingin your hand*
218
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,530
* We'll be falling in love*
219
00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:59,320
* To the rhythmof a steel drum band*
220
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,240
* Down in Kokomo*
221
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:05,160
SINGERS: * Aruba, Jamaica,ooh, I wanna take ya*
222
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,870
* To Bermuda, Bahama,come on, pretty mama*
223
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:10,870
* Key Largo, Montego,baby, why don't we go?*
224
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:15,500
SINGER: * Ooh, I wannatake you down to Kokomo*
225
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,170
* We'll get there fast*
226
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:20,220
* And then we'lltake it slow*
227
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:24,300
* That's where we wanna go*
228
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,010
* Way down in Kokomo*
229
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:30,690
SINGER: * To Martinique,that Montserrat Mystique*
230
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:34,810
SINGER:
* We'll put out to sea*
231
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:38,940
* And we'll perfectour chemistry*
232
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:44,870
* By and by, we'll defya little bit of gravity*
233
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,580
Good job, huh?
234
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:53,250
Hey.
235
00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:55,210
I ain't shaking
your hand, meat.
236
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:56,800
You're not?
237
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,670
Come here. Ha ha!
238
00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:00,920
[APPLAUSE]
239
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,300
Huh? Hey! Ha ha!
240
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:12,140
There he is,
the smug despot,
241
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,940
drunk with power.
242
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:17,440
All right, Holly,
you're my campaign manager.
243
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,440
Let's get goin'.
244
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,110
Okay, well, I guess
you should tell people
245
00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:22,950
why you're running.
What's your platform?
246
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:24,410
Essentially,
my platform is,
247
00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:27,830
I'd like to be president
very badly.
248
00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:29,450
Okay, but the voters
are gonna wanna know
249
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:31,330
what you're gonna do
once you're elected.
250
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:33,160
That's none
of their business.
251
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,550
[EXHALES]
Okay, here we go.
252
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:47,510
What can I get you?
253
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:49,510
Uh, club soda, please.
254
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,310
Yeah.
255
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:52,430
What is it?
256
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,480
Oh, it's just that
I just graduated
257
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:55,520
from bartending school,
258
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,190
and you're
my first customer.
259
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,480
Well, that's great.
260
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,820
Yeah, I was kind of hoping
that my first drink
261
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,860
would be memorable,
you know, like a Mai Tai
262
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:05,700
or a Bermuda Rum
Swizzle.
263
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:09,580
Heh! Yeah. Look, I've got
a little drinking problem,
264
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:12,160
you know, so I'd
just rather not, yeah.
265
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,080
Guy, just one.
266
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,170
Double Scotch, neat.
267
00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:22,170
DOUG: There you go.
268
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:24,220
Ha ha ha!
269
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:26,340
Ahem.
All righty.
270
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,110
Oh, yeah.
271
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,780
Hey, what can I
get for you?
272
00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:50,240
Just a Bud Light.
273
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,620
Uh, you know,
I do serve
274
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:54,000
16 kinds of beer
from Europe.
275
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,870
Great. You're
a regular Epcot center.
276
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,620
Just give me a Bud Light.
277
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,170
Coming right up.
278
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:01,210
Here we go.
279
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:03,510
Oh-ho, all right.
280
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:05,010
Okay, uh--oh!
281
00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:07,760
Okay! Whoa. That's half price,
that one right there.
282
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,090
That's half price.
283
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,430
WOMAN: I mean, I just
don't know what to do.
284
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:14,770
Should I talk to Steve?
Should I not talk to Steve?
285
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:17,850
I mean, is he
ever gonna change?
286
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,520
Uh, you know, ladies,
287
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,440
those drinks come
with free advice,
288
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,780
and man problems...
289
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,280
is my specialty.
290
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,280
Oh. Well, can you tell me
how to get my husband
291
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,120
to stop sleeping
with every woman he meets
292
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,910
and spend about 10 minutes
with his own son?
293
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:36,710
No, but let me set you ladies up
with some beer nuts.
294
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:44,170
[CONVERSATIONS OVERLAPPING]
295
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,430
Hey.
296
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:58,020
CARRIE: So, how'd it go?
297
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,190
I did good.
298
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:02,610
Great. I'm officially
a bartender's wife.
299
00:15:02,650 --> 00:15:06,990
Just what I've always wanted,
a husband who reeks of olives.
300
00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:09,860
Actually, you're gonna
have that either way.
301
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,120
But don't worry.
I'm giving up bartending.
302
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,490
I'm gonna
stick with I.P.S.
303
00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:15,790
-Really?
-DOUG: Yeah.
304
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:17,250
You know, I don't know.
All these years,
305
00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:19,710
I built up bartending
to be such this magical thing,
306
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:22,710
and now it turns out it's just
another stupid job.
307
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,290
I'll tell you,
I'm glad I did it, though,
308
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:28,210
because 15 years ago, oh,
I screwed up big time, you know,
309
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,970
and tonight I just proved
that I could do it.
310
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,390
You know, I just
conquered my demon.
311
00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:42,850
Did you, uh,
312
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,190
make this all
tonight in tips?
313
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:46,820
Actually, more.
On the way home,
314
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:49,110
I hit an Arby's
drive-through pretty hard.
315
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,200
Are you sure
you're not giving up
316
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,240
on this bartending thing
a little too soon?
317
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,990
What are you talking about?
You said it was a dumb idea.
318
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:58,200
CARRIE: Yeah, but that
was before--enh!
319
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,210
I mean, honey,
if you can make all this
320
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,880
in one night
in some crappy bar in Queens,
321
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,000
just think what you
can make in Manhattan.
322
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,130
As a matter of fact,
there's a bar
323
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:08,710
right next door
to where I work.
324
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,090
I know the owner.
I can get you in there.
325
00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:12,220
No, that's it.
I'm done with this whole thing.
326
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:13,890
I'm over it.
I conquered my demon.
327
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:16,510
-I don't think you did.
-DOUG: What are ya...
328
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,560
What are you talkin' about?
I conquered the crap out of it.
329
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:24,230
No, no, I don't think
you conquered your demon at all.
330
00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:25,560
You know, now that
I think about it,
331
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,150
your demon
wasn't not trying,
332
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:29,860
you know,
it was quitting.
333
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,740
Yeah, that's your
demon right there. Quitter.
334
00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:34,070
No, no, no,
that's not my demon.
335
00:16:34,110 --> 00:16:36,570
I'll tell you what my demon is.
My demon is you.
336
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,080
Come on, Doug. All we've been
talking about is your dreams.
337
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,580
What about my dreams?
You know I've always
338
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,040
wanted to live
in Manhattan,
339
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,870
and if we had more money,
we could do that.
340
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,840
Look, I want you
to be happy, okay?
341
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,840
Maybe I'll take
that I.P.S. Test
342
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,170
and I can move up
through the company--
343
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,050
Okay, you know what?
If I hear one more word
344
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:56,090
about that stupid I.P.S. Test,
I'm gonna puke.
345
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,560
Come on, honey.
We could do this.
346
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,020
I mean, we'll
have my salary.
347
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,180
You'll be working in the bar
4 or 5 times a week.
348
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:06,230
In this dream, am I
also working at I.P.S.?
349
00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:08,940
Manhattan ain't
cheap, babe. Okay?
350
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:10,690
This is a whole new
life for us!
351
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,900
Yeah, but if I'm working all
the time, you'll never see me.
352
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:15,410
Yeah, but
I'll have--enh!
353
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,870
Thank you very much.
354
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,120
Ah, Josephine,
my dear,
355
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,960
I hope I can
count on your vote.
356
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,790
Oh, well, actually
I'm voting for Mr. Barksdale.
357
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,800
I think he's doing
a very nice job.
358
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,170
I see.
359
00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:36,970
Welcome
to my enemies list.
360
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,760
MR. BARKSDALE:
Spooner, I understand
361
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,970
you've been questioning
my war record.
362
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,100
I just think people
have a right to know
363
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:46,600
why you didn't
serve in Vietnam.
364
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,020
Because I was 60.
365
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,900
60 or just
plain yella?
366
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,200
How are we doing
in the polls?
367
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,910
10 people say they're
gonna vote for you,
368
00:17:57,950 --> 00:18:01,160
16 for Barksdale,
and 3 for McGovern.
369
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,870
There's my problem.
370
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:08,170
He's got the black vote
all sewn up.
371
00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:11,000
Not much you
can do about that.
372
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,510
Or is there?
373
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,180
Hey, what's going on?
374
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:21,760
You said there was
some sort of emergency.
375
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:24,020
Ah, Deacon,
slap it high.
376
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,850
What?
377
00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:30,480
How's by you, my talented
and very equal friend?
378
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,980
Wh--what exactly
is the emergency?
379
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,280
Well, actually it was
an emergency of the heart.
380
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,740
I haven't seen you
since the Million Man March,
381
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:41,490
and I need a hug.
382
00:18:41,530 --> 00:18:43,660
Now.
383
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,200
What the hell's
going on?
384
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,330
All right, look, I'm running
for senior center president,
385
00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,210
and I need
the black vote to win.
386
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,330
Play ball, and
you and your family
387
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,960
will have powdered milk
for the rest of your lives.
388
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,300
What? Do you know
how insulting this is?
389
00:18:58,510 --> 00:18:59,380
Hey, everybody,
390
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:02,470
Arthur Spooner
is a bad man.
391
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:07,140
You hear that,
everyone? I'm bad!
392
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,690
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
393
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,290
They keep coming!
Why is everyone so thirsty?!
394
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,450
You're doing great. Just move
a little faster, honey.
395
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,910
Oh, God.
396
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,960
Hey. Great
bartender, huh?
397
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,670
Cute, too,
don't you think?
398
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:36,590
He's kind of sweaty.
399
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:40,010
And I ain't hating it.
400
00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:41,630
Whoa. 50-cent tip.
401
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,050
How am I gonna get
to Manhattan with that?
402
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:51,310
Doug, do that.
Do what he's doing.
403
00:19:51,350 --> 00:19:54,020
-What?
-Do the bottle flip.
404
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,940
The only time I did
that move was in class,
405
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:58,280
and it was
with a Nerf bottle.
406
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,650
Do it for me,
baby, please?
407
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:06,990
Hey! Ha ha ha!
408
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:25,680
Okay. So the bartending
didn't work out
409
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,310
as well as we hoped,
410
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,770
but you're still great,
411
00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:32,230
and you're still talented.
412
00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:33,690
Okay, you know what?
413
00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:36,360
Tomorrow morning,
you are gonna march in there,
414
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,150
and you are gonna take
that I.P.S. Test,
415
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:41,030
and you're gonna
show 'em what's what.
416
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,030
-Oh.
-Yeah.
417
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:47,240
"Employee demonstrates
no special skills
418
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,370
"or potential
for advancement.
419
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:51,910
"His qualifications
for his current job
420
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,960
are questionable
at best."
421
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,080
[WHIMPERS]
422
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,500
Well...now we know.
423
00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:07,890
Spooner.
424
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:10,060
Hello, Barksdale.
425
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:13,810
Congratulations
on your unanimous victory.
426
00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:17,020
I hope we can put
all this ugliness behind us.
427
00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:19,770
Afraid not.
[WHISTLES]
428
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,620
Just not
in the face.
429
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,540
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
31551
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