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00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,500
SINGER: **My eyesare gettin' weary*
2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,000
*My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,000
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,800
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
5
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:17,260
*But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
6
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:22,850
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
7
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,480
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
8
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:28,650
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:31,650 --> 00:00:35,570
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
10
00:00:37,910 --> 00:00:39,080
CARRIE: Hey, babe.
Have a seat,
11
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,620
'cause I am making
my man a good,
12
00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:42,080
hearty breakfast.
13
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,000
Oh, you know what?
I'm not gonna have time.
14
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,040
I'm gotta get in early.
15
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,120
Why?
16
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:47,500
Well, Mark Donovan--
17
00:00:47,540 --> 00:00:50,380
you met him. You know,
the driver with the weird ear?
18
00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:51,710
-Don't know him.
-Sure you do.
19
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,590
You know, it's all
folded up like a fortune cookie.
20
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,180
I'm going to be
honest with you, hon.
21
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:57,890
You work with
a lot of freaks.
22
00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,350
Anyway, he's getting
transferred,
23
00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:01,640
and all of a sudden,
I got a whole new route.
24
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,560
All right. Well, I guess
I'll just give these
25
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,310
to my dad.
26
00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:09,270
You know what? I'll just
eat 'em in the car.
27
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:14,740
Beautiful.
28
00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:15,900
Wait a minute.
29
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,490
How are you gonna
eat pancakes,
30
00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:19,660
drink coffee,
and drive?
31
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:20,870
I've eaten won ton soup
32
00:01:20,910 --> 00:01:23,240
driving through San Francisco
on a motorcycle.
33
00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,870
I think I can handle
a couple flapjacks.
34
00:01:27,790 --> 00:01:30,340
Could you get the door?
35
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,760
Thank you.
36
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:39,970
Darling,
37
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:42,010
I was wondering what
arrangements you've made
38
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,430
vis-a-vis your
final resting place.
39
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:46,690
None. I don't plan
on checking out just yet.
40
00:01:46,730 --> 00:01:49,150
Ah. That's exactly
what my boyhood friend
41
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,610
Freddy Gimple
used to say
42
00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:53,610
until someone shoved him
under the "L" train.
43
00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:55,440
Bet that left a mark.
44
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,610
Of course
it left a mark.
45
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,320
He was hit by
a locomotive.
46
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,950
Okay. What's
your point here, Dad?
47
00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:03,240
My point is Shady Acres.
48
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,330
I have a wonderful
plot for sale,
49
00:02:05,370 --> 00:02:08,830
and I'd like to offer you
first crack at it.
50
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:11,380
I purchased his-and-her plots
for me and Lily,
51
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,460
and after the divorce,
I got stuck with them,
52
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,960
and unless the people
atJake and the Fatman
53
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,970
finally decide to buy
one of my ideas,
54
00:02:18,010 --> 00:02:19,970
I can't afford both.
55
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:22,930
Okay. When I die, I want
to be buried next to Doug.
56
00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:26,930
ARTHUR: Oh, please.
Like you kids are gonna make it.
57
00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:29,980
Hey, Arthur. Are you ready
for your walk?
58
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:31,310
Quite ready.
59
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:32,690
Hey, listen, Carrie,
can I ask you something?
60
00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:34,480
-Sure.
-Um, I know you've been...
61
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,610
out of work for a while,
62
00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,320
and--well, I was
just thinking
63
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,820
I have a lot of people
who need their dogs walked,
64
00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:41,490
and I can't handle them
all, and--I'm probably
65
00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:43,320
way of out line. I mean,
I know you were like
66
00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:45,700
a big secretary
and everything.
67
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:47,330
Oh, no, no, no, it's not that.
It's just that
68
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:48,910
I don't really want
to be a dog walker.
69
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,420
You know?
I mean, I don't think
70
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:54,210
I'm quite that desperate yet.
Ha ha!
71
00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:57,130
Not that there's
anything wrong
72
00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:59,340
With being a dog walker.
73
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,010
I mean, I'm pretty sure
it wasn't your life dream,
74
00:03:02,050 --> 00:03:04,390
Am I right? Heh heh!
75
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,350
Or if it is, then you
are living it, girl.
76
00:03:07,390 --> 00:03:08,770
Well, I just thought
I'd ask. You know,
77
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:11,730
you can make like
100 bucks a day.
78
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:18,110
Okay, calm down! Okay, ow!
79
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:20,240
Hang on! Hang on!
80
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:38,800
[DOORBELL RINGS]
81
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,010
Hello.
82
00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:41,550
Hi. Uh...
83
00:03:41,590 --> 00:03:43,010
Did I come at
a bad time?
84
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:45,100
Not at all.
85
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:46,550
All right.
Then if you could just
86
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,430
give me your quick
John Han--ahem--cock,
87
00:03:49,470 --> 00:03:50,600
I'll be on my way.
88
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,060
Ooh, great. These must
be Sally's feet.
89
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,730
-Huh?
-Don't call the police.
90
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:57,940
I'm a doll doctor.
91
00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,360
I take broken dolls
and make them whole again.
92
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,900
Oh. That's, uh...
pretty creepy.
93
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:05,240
Okay, if you could
just sign here.
94
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,990
Sure.
95
00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:09,160
Oh! Mr. Belvedere!
96
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,160
Say hello to our
new I.P.S. guy!
97
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,160
Hey, why don't you
show him your dance?
98
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,290
He loves to dance.
99
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:16,000
Come on! Whoo! Shake it!
100
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:20,050
*Shake that body,you little hottie, whoo!*
101
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:22,220
-Whoa!
-Oh! Almost lost it.
102
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:24,380
Yeah. Could you just
sign this, please?
103
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,260
Okay. I get a lot
of packages.
104
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,100
You and I are gonna be
tied at the hip.
105
00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:30,060
Whoo--oh!
Almost lost her again.
106
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,430
All right, then.
Take care now.
107
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:34,350
-Hey, your pen!
-Nah, keep it!
108
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,440
SPENCE:Okay, Arthur.
109
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,440
What's this opportunity
of a lifetime?
110
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,150
You'll see
in a moment.
111
00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:45,110
Just lie back
like this.
112
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,620
-Why?
-Just do it.
113
00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:54,160
Now what?
114
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,120
Picture me and you
like this till
115
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,290
the sun burns out.
116
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,000
What are you
talking about?
117
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,210
Shady Acres.
118
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,920
Turns out I have
an extra burial plot,
119
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,010
and I'd like to offer you
first crack at it.
120
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,140
Okay. No offense, Arthur,
121
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:08,470
but I plan on being
married someday.
122
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,930
I'm gonna want to be
buried next to my wife.
123
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:12,140
Well, that plan seems
right on track.
124
00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:14,390
You're 45 and living
with an iguana.
125
00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:17,230
Hey, I'm 37,
and Allen is my dog!
126
00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:19,110
All right, Arthur,
I'm not gonna buy
127
00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:20,320
the burial plot
next to you.
128
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,320
You're gonna have to
find someone else.
129
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,360
Hey, Mom!
130
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,320
-I come bearing pants.
-Ooh.
131
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,320
Arthur!
132
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,820
What a pleasant
surprise.
133
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,530
Yes. Veronica.
134
00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:34,450
How come you
never took me up
135
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,500
on my dinner
invitation?
136
00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:40,040
I'm sorry. I was in Greenland
doing research.
137
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,670
Greenland.
How was that?
138
00:05:41,710 --> 00:05:45,130
Quite nice. Turns out it's
actually more of a bluish green.
139
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,010
Oh. Go try on
your pants.
140
00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:49,680
Let me know if there's
enough room in the crotch.
141
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:50,680
Mom!
142
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,680
He knows you have
a crotch. Go!
143
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,690
So, what's this
I hear about
144
00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:59,270
you selling
a cemetery plot?
145
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:03,020
Because I haven't
made any arrangements
146
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:05,110
for myself yet.
147
00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:07,450
Right.
148
00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:09,410
Have you considered
burial at sea?
149
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,570
It's all the rage.
150
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,370
No! I'm
an old-fashioned girl.
151
00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:17,540
Now, see, this place
looks very nice.
152
00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:20,380
Well, you know,
it's very expensive.
153
00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:22,340
Oh! How much?
154
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,380
1,100, U.S.
155
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,510
The timing
is perfect!
156
00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:30,430
I just got
a $3,000 settlement
157
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:33,510
for a botched
tummy tuck.
158
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,140
How fortuitous.
159
00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:37,230
Mmm!
160
00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:38,560
Well...
161
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,770
welcome to shady acres.
162
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:51,820
Okay, finish it up.
163
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:52,910
I know women who've given birth
164
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,490
faster than this.
165
00:06:56,330 --> 00:06:58,790
Finally!
166
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:00,620
Let's go. Let's go
Let's go. Let's go
167
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,790
MAN: Hey, lady,
pick up after your dog!
168
00:07:02,830 --> 00:07:05,050
-It's the law!
-Oh, is it?
169
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:06,800
Is there a law against
that haircut?
170
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,470
'Cause there should be.
171
00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:18,770
Okay, let's go.
Let's go!
172
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:20,640
Carrie?
173
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:21,810
Hey, guys.
174
00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:22,940
Hey.
175
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,020
How are you?
176
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:28,190
I'm good. Really good.
177
00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:35,370
I should throw this out.
178
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,670
So, how are things
at the firm?
179
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,750
Great. Great.
180
00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:45,170
Everybody misses you.
181
00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:46,670
Looks like you're
keeping busy.
182
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:48,300
Yeah. You know, getting
fired was the best thing
183
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:50,380
that ever happened
to me, you know?
184
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:52,220
Yeah, I need a little
break from the law thing,
185
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:55,720
so now I'm doing
a little dog walking.
186
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,350
-Awesome.
-Yeah.
187
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,560
This one's cute.
188
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:01,980
What's his name?
189
00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:03,020
Uh, I don't know.
190
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,860
But I call him
Sir Poopsalot.
191
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,820
And then we got humpy
and stupid.
192
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:11,150
And pees-when-you-touch-him.
193
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,530
Anyway, I should--
I should get going.
194
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:17,870
Should get these guys home
and still have
195
00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:20,620
enough time to stick
my head in the oven.
196
00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:26,210
-Let's go, let's go.
-Great seeing you.
197
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:27,920
Uh-huh.
198
00:08:36,590 --> 00:08:37,680
What's up with you?
199
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,810
Towel guy again.
200
00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:41,560
5 days in a row,
the guy answers the door,
201
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,390
nothing but a towel.
202
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,060
It's not like he's even
coming out of the shower.
203
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,230
He's not even wet.
204
00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:49,400
And you'd rather
see him wet?
205
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:50,440
I don't know, okay?
206
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,030
All I'm saying is
one day's he's gonna
207
00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:53,190
get sloppy
with that towel tuck,
208
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,070
that towel's gonna
hit the floor and...
209
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:57,530
I'm in an Italian deli.
210
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,990
Well, I'm actually
with Doug on this one.
211
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,000
When I was 5--ahem.
212
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,250
I saw my grandmother
naked once.
213
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,000
To this day,
it still haunts me.
214
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,540
What, did you walk in
on her in the bathroom?
215
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,300
No. Me and my brother
hid in her closet.
216
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,140
[DOORBELL RINGS]
217
00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:21,220
Come on, pants.
Come on, pants!
218
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,310
Hey, you're late today.
Excuse the appearance.
219
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:27,560
I'm doing my baking.
I gotta wash up.
220
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,980
I've got some fudge
on my hands. Come on in.
221
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,180
-DOLL:Mama!-Oh, my God!
222
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:00,470
-Hey, Doug?
-Yeah, yeah?
223
00:10:00,510 --> 00:10:02,010
-Could you do me a favor?
-Sure.
224
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,470
I got a box of hair
up on the top shelf
225
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,980
I need to get. Will you hold
the ladder for me?
226
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:10,110
Oh, uh, okay.
Yeah, sure.
227
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,660
Hey, while you're down there,
will you grab my package?
228
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:24,370
What?!
229
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:25,580
The package
you just brought me.
230
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:27,750
I want to put it away
while I'm up here.
231
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:28,830
Ohh!
232
00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:31,250
[WHISPERING]
Thank you, God!
233
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,520
Would you throw
a damn card?
234
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,520
Relax.
235
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,400
By the way,
236
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,360
you should try the cookies.
They're delicious.
237
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,410
You know what else
is delicious? Gin.
238
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,410
[SIGHS]
239
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:06,700
$1.80.
240
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,580
When you have it.
241
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,330
SPENCE: Hey, Arthur,
you ready?
242
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:17,130
Yes. Thanks for the lift.
I'll just grab my coat.
243
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:21,260
Oh, Arthur?
244
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,720
Evelyn.
245
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:24,890
I saw your flyer.
246
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:27,770
Is your plot at shady acres
still available?
247
00:11:27,810 --> 00:11:29,230
Why, yes, it is.
248
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:31,140
Oh, wonderful!
249
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,730
It is wonderful.
250
00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:36,150
And you are wonderful.
251
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:38,820
Arthur, what are
you doing?
252
00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:41,820
Nothing. He's my driver.
253
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:42,910
Let's put a pin in this
254
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,780
until tomorrow's
pottery class.
255
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:46,330
Okay!
256
00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:50,580
You sold that plot
to my mother!
257
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:51,870
Deal's off.
258
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,080
You can't do that!
259
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,880
But Evelyn was
Miss Yonkers 1957.
260
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,920
I don't care.
That's my mom's plot.
261
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,510
Look, I have
a chance to walk
262
00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:02,220
into the pearly gates
with a bombshell.
263
00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,220
Just tell your mother
she'll have to work it out.
264
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,470
No, Arthur, all right?
265
00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:07,350
Being dead next to you
is all she can talk about.
266
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:09,810
She's at the cemetery now
checking it out.
267
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:14,650
If you're gonna crush
her dream, do it yourself.
268
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:20,610
You see that building
over there?
269
00:12:20,650 --> 00:12:22,700
Across the river?
270
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,910
That's the building
where I used to work.
271
00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:27,370
Yeah, that's right.
272
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,500
And not once
in all my time there
273
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:35,460
did anybody ever throw up
and try to eat it.
274
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,090
Wow. How'd you get
so many dogs?
275
00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:40,760
Oh, they're not mine.
I'm just walking them.
276
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,840
I wish I had one,
but my mom won't let me.
277
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,470
You like dogs, do you?
278
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:48,300
Yeah.
279
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:52,060
Well, you know, uh,
I just might be willing
280
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,940
to let you walk mine.
281
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,150
-Really?
-Yeah.
282
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:57,110
And not just once.
How about every Monday,
283
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:59,480
Wednesday, and Friday?
How's that sound?
284
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,650
-Well, I do have Hebrew school.
-All right, listen.
285
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:02,990
If you're not
serious about this,
286
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,570
I can find somebody
who is, okay?
287
00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:06,820
No, no, no, no!
I'll do it.
288
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,160
All right.
289
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,660
Well, if all goes well
and you meet me back here
290
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:14,210
in 2 hours sharp,
I will give you...
291
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,620
a dollar!
292
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:17,580
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
293
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,960
I would've
done it for free.
294
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,840
[MUTTERS] Damn it.
295
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,050
All right,
well, here you go.
296
00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:24,920
Here's the poop bags
right there,
297
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,510
and then there's
their treats,
298
00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:28,970
and one of them
gets the pill.
299
00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:30,140
I don't know which one,
300
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:31,390
but I've just been
giving it to that one.
301
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:33,430
He seems to like it.
All right, there you go.
302
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,940
Now get on out of here.
Have a good time.
303
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:37,100
We'll see you
in a little bit.
304
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,560
Bye-bye! Scoot, scoot!
305
00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:53,410
DEACON: Hey,
what's up, player?
306
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:56,290
Yeah,
how's it going?
307
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:59,210
DEACON: You got any change?
'cause I'm a little short here.
308
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:00,920
You got change?
309
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:04,260
Very funny, guys.
Very mature, yeah.
310
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:07,260
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
311
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,260
Uh, Mr. O'Boyle,
312
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,890
I really need
to talk to you.
313
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:14,060
Yeah, okay, well, you know,
I'll just tell corporate
314
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,560
that I couldn't get
the quarterlies done
315
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,650
because Heffernan really
needed to talk to me.
316
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,480
What?
317
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,150
I was just wondering
if there's any way
318
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:26,240
I could stop delivery
to 1616 Meridian Street.
319
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,950
Why is that?
320
00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:29,530
Well, the guy
who lives there,
321
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:32,780
he always answers
the door in a towel.
322
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,080
Oh, for God sakes!
323
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,040
Heffernan,
it's called a turban.
324
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,290
You remember anything
from sensitivity training?
325
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:42,170
No, no, no. The towel's
around his waist.
326
00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:43,250
Oh. So?
327
00:14:43,290 --> 00:14:45,630
I don't know.
It's just--it's weird.
328
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:48,050
Oh. Okay, so you don't
want to deliver
329
00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:50,050
to weird people
anymore, huh?
330
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,300
Well, you know,
maybe you should
331
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,470
just make up
a list of people
332
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:53,810
that you'd be willing
to deliver to,
333
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:56,470
and then I can work
around you. How about this?
334
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,480
Just supermodels
and bakeries.
335
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,150
I'm not asking that.
I mean,
336
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:02,690
I wouldn't fight
you on it, either--
337
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:04,360
Heffernan, I can't
help you out here.
338
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,070
I mean, if the guy had
a vicious dog or something,
339
00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:07,820
then maybe I could do
something for you.
340
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:10,740
You know, he does--
he does have a dog.
341
00:15:10,780 --> 00:15:12,490
Is he vicious?
342
00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:13,870
Yeah.
343
00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:16,240
Okay. Why didn't you
just say so, then?
344
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,830
You don't have to go making up
stories about a guy in a towel.
345
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:20,830
Fill out this 10-17, you don't
have to go there anymore.
346
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:24,460
Great. Well, thanks
a lot, Mr. O'Boyle.
347
00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:32,970
No, no, no.
No, no, no!
348
00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:35,850
You're new here.
You haven't earned that!
349
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,900
Veronica, there you are.
350
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,860
Oh, Arthur, hi!
351
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:47,980
It's so lovely here.
352
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,860
What a place to die.
353
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,950
What cemetery
are you at?
354
00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:54,240
The grass hasn't been mowed.
There's poor drainage.
355
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,870
I have no choice but to
give you a full refund.
356
00:15:56,910 --> 00:15:59,870
Oh, don't be ridiculous!
I love it here.
357
00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:01,040
You'll love it
till it rains
358
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,580
and you're floating
down the expressway.
359
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,840
Oh, stop!
360
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,670
Look, you can't
have the plot.
361
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:08,920
What are you
talking about?
362
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,300
I met someone else.
363
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:11,930
-Who?
-Evelyn Ross.
364
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:16,350
You may know her
as Miss Yonkers 1957.
365
00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:18,560
I don't
believe this.
366
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,680
I already paid you.
367
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,850
And here's
your money back.
368
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:24,900
Where's the rest?
369
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,110
You'll get it
when I return
370
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,730
a now slightly used
mustache groomer
371
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,400
to Hammacher-Schlemmer.
372
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,700
Oh, right. That sounds like
another one of your lies,
373
00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,860
like when you said you
were in Greenland.
374
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:35,910
I was in Greenland!
375
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:37,620
I saw you
in Waldbaum's!
376
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,790
I had 2 days off!
377
00:16:39,830 --> 00:16:40,910
You know...
378
00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:42,910
I understand
that you hate me.
379
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,580
What I don't get is
that when you're dead,
380
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,590
what difference does it
make who you're next to?
381
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:51,800
Open your ears!
She's Miss Yonkers!
382
00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:55,970
Veronica.
383
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:59,850
You'll find
another plot, I know.
384
00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:00,890
What do you care, anyway?
385
00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:04,140
ARTHUR: I care
very deeply.
386
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,190
Here's one.
Beautiful spot.
387
00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:11,280
Right to next to
Bill Johnson.
388
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:12,490
Huh?
389
00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:16,910
Bill Johnson? I knew
a Bill Johnson years ago.
390
00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:18,120
I wonder if it's
the same one?
391
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,450
Of course
it's the same one.
392
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:21,910
How many Bill Johnsons
could there be?
393
00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,960
Oh! You know,
way back when,
394
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,170
Bill and I actually had a little
thing for each other,
395
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:30,800
but we were both
too shy to act on it.
396
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,880
Well, better late
than never.
397
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,420
I say we go
to the office
398
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,800
and see
what we can do
399
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,850
to get you
in this grave today.
400
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:44,770
Carrie?
401
00:17:44,810 --> 00:17:45,850
Oh.
402
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:46,980
Hey, Hol. What are you
doing here?
403
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:48,770
Don't you usually
walk your dogs
404
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:50,190
at the park
on hillside?
405
00:17:50,230 --> 00:17:52,280
I do, but they found
a body there,
406
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,650
so we thought we'd
try something new.
407
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,160
Where are your dogs?
408
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,910
Uh, oh!
409
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:02,790
They were here
a minute ago.
410
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:03,950
All right, you guys!
411
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,000
I'm gonna count to 10!
This isn't funny!
412
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,830
They're only messing with me
'cause you're here.
413
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,130
Speaking of you, you look great.
Is that tan real?
414
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:14,590
Hi, Mrs. Heffernan.
415
00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:17,760
Hey! What are you
doing with my dogs?
416
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,010
Walking them.
You paid me to.
417
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:22,850
Tsk! No one likes
a liar, son.
418
00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:24,850
Shouldn't you be
in Hebrew school?
419
00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:26,270
Okay, Carrie, what is
going on here?
420
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,850
-That's what I'd like to know.
-Carrie!
421
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:30,020
All--yeah, all right,
you want to know
422
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:32,570
what's going on?
I hate this, okay?
423
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:33,860
That's what's going on!
424
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:36,360
I hate dogs. I hate poop.
I hate outside.
425
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,160
So you're pawning them
off on a 9-year-old?
426
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,240
Look, he is better
at this than I am.
427
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,370
I mean, he walks them
and washes them,
428
00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:47,000
[MUTTERS] and he does it all
for a dollar a day.
429
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,540
A dollar a day?
430
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:50,540
Mm-hmm!
431
00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:52,590
Oh! Oh!
432
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,140
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
433
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,940
MAN: Look, it's
my job, pal, all right?
434
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:14,610
Please! Please!
I'll give you a doll!
435
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:16,900
I'm just trying to do
my job here, all right?
436
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:18,360
You can't take my dog!
437
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,070
This is so unfair!
You cannot take my dog!
438
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:23,240
-I'm sorry, sir.
-No, please!
439
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,990
-What's going on?
-Doug, they're trying to take
440
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,450
Mr. Belvedere away!
441
00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:28,250
Someone filed a complaint.
They said he bit someone.
442
00:19:28,290 --> 00:19:31,080
They're gonna
put him to sleep!
443
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,290
This guy wouldn't
do that, would you?
444
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:36,960
Me? No.
That's Bruce's job.
445
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,220
-[SOBS]
-This is--this is crazy.
446
00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,090
Mr. Belvedere
isn't vicious.
447
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:42,930
He's a sweetheart.
448
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,930
Aren't you, Mr. Belvedere?
Aren't you--
449
00:19:44,970 --> 00:19:48,390
-Oh, God!
-Is he biting you?
450
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:51,270
Oh, no. We're just playing
a little game of clampsy.
451
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:53,940
Oh, jeez, he's going
for the high score now.
452
00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:56,440
Look at that!
All right!
453
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,070
You want--
you want to try?
454
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:01,780
No, no, thank you.
455
00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:03,450
Okay! Rematch later.
456
00:20:03,490 --> 00:20:07,870
Look, someone reported
him. I gotta do this.
457
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:09,040
Oh!
458
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,370
All right, look,
it was me, all right.
459
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:12,290
What?
460
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:13,920
I put in
the complaint.
461
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,000
But why? He's been
nothing but good to you.
462
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,460
He danced for you!
Why would you do that?
463
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,970
Because you come
to the door in a towel!
464
00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,930
So you kill my dog?!
465
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:26,010
Not me. Bruce.
466
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,390
Look, you gotta
let the dog go.
467
00:20:27,430 --> 00:20:29,970
All right? I officially
withdraw my complaint.
468
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,310
Okay.
469
00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:33,440
And the next time you two
have a lovers' spat,
470
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,730
leave animal control
out of it.
471
00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:38,230
It's okay, Mr. Belvedere.
472
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:40,030
I know you didn't bite
anybody.
473
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:43,150
Actually, he did. He bit
me pretty good just now.
474
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,160
Oh, my God!
You're bleeding.
475
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:50,040
-Here, take my towel.
-Oh!
476
00:20:56,580 --> 00:21:00,300
Evelyn, I don't understand.
I thought we had a deal.
477
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:02,050
Well, Arthur,
it's just that, um,
478
00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:03,590
well, I've met
someone else.
479
00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:09,180
And I think I would prefer
to be buried with him.
480
00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:11,980
I see. Well,
follow your heart.
481
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:16,480
And I certainly hope
you both die very soon.
482
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:21,820
Arthur? Time for
your walk.
483
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:24,900
Tell me, son, have you
made your arrangements
484
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,320
for the hereafter?
485
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,620
Because I got
a plot for sale,
486
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:32,830
and I'd like to give you
first crack at it.
487
00:21:33,580 --> 00:21:37,710
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
34321
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