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1
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,170
*My back is gettin' tight*
2
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:09,090
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
3
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:11,920
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
4
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:17,510
*But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
5
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:23,270
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
6
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:25,020
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
7
00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:29,820
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
8
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,280
Well, that was
an interesting walk.
9
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,120
Yes. Uh, listen,
I'd like to apologize
10
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,790
for my skirmish
with Cupcake,
11
00:00:42,830 --> 00:00:44,960
but in my defense,
12
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,130
I did see
the tennis ball first.
13
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,880
Well, hopefully you two
can start fresh next time.
14
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,720
Well, that's up to him.
15
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,720
Oh, I have to push back
our walk on Thursday.
16
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,300
I'm going to Sears
to get a picture of me
17
00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:59,220
and the dogs
for my Christmas card.
18
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,140
Sears? I can do it
right here.
19
00:01:01,180 --> 00:01:02,560
Well, I kind
of like Sears
20
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,100
'cause they give you
the little mini ones--
21
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,640
Come on. It'll be
my holiday gift to you.
22
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,060
Well, I already
have an appointment.
23
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,400
But it's mygift
to you.
24
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,400
And I appreciate that--
25
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,190
-It's my gift!
-Okay. Okay.
26
00:01:13,070 --> 00:01:14,530
Ohh!
27
00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,860
There's my man!
28
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:17,950
Ooh!
29
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,080
It's so good
to have you home!
30
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,950
All right. Settle down.
31
00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:23,040
Just me,
not the Sparkletts guy.
32
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,370
[LAUGHS]
33
00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:26,460
I'm sorry. Just bouncing
off the walls here.
34
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,370
Really?
35
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,290
Yeah, when you
don't have a job,
36
00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:31,420
you get up,
you throw on your sweats,
37
00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:33,090
you eat something,
you sit on the couch,
38
00:01:33,130 --> 00:01:35,840
and before you know it,
it's time for bed.
39
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:39,340
That is word for word
one of my top dreams.
40
00:01:40,470 --> 00:01:42,260
Come on, honey,
entertain me, entertain me.
41
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:43,720
All right,
I'd like to start off
42
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:47,310
with a piece called
"Having Doritos."
43
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:49,440
Seriously, honey,
44
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,230
say one of those
funny things you say.
45
00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:54,440
-What do ya got?
-[EXHALES]
46
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,280
Uh...
47
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,860
Arr, rahr, rahr!
48
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,410
Rahr!
49
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:02,580
Rahr!
50
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:03,830
Rahr!
51
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,370
Okay, I remember you being
a lot more interesting.
52
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:09,750
Look, just give me
2 minutes, all right?
53
00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:11,330
Why don't you read
a magazine or something?
54
00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:13,290
I read every magazine
in the house already.
55
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:14,340
Well, here you go,
56
00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:15,800
read
my company newsletter,
57
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,510
I.P. Yes.Go to town.
58
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:22,100
"Snap, crackle, and pop:
59
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:25,850
I.P.S. switches
bubble wrap suppliers."
60
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,690
I'm actually gonna read this.
61
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:33,190
Kids, I think we should
nail down a date
62
00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,280
for our Christmas card
photo shoot.
63
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,150
And as far
as wardrobe goes,
64
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:41,530
I'm thinkin' everyone
in denim shirts and jeans.
65
00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:43,410
And I'm thinking no picture
and you go downstairs
66
00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:46,200
and get last night's
broccoli out of your teeth.
67
00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:48,500
Come on, darling,
what do you say?
68
00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:50,370
Let's show a little
father-daughter
69
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,040
holiday spirit.
70
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,340
Who knows
how many Christmases
71
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:54,960
we have left together?
72
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,250
Ohh.
73
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,760
Maybe next year,
daddy, okay?
74
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,090
Fine.
75
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:03,260
I wanna wish you both
a Merry Christmas in hell!
76
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,600
Oh, my God,
look at this.
77
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,730
4 Doritos
got baked together.
78
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,780
I don't know whether to eat it
or donate it to science.
79
00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:21,950
Huh.
80
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:24,700
What?
81
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:27,040
Your depot is hiring
payroll assistants
82
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,790
to handle
the extra holiday load.
83
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:32,170
They need people
who can type and do payroll.
84
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:33,210
I've done both.
85
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,290
[COUGHS]
86
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,540
I should apply
for this, right?
87
00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:38,670
-No, I don't know.
-It would be so great
88
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:40,380
to get out of the house
during the day
89
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,840
and make a little money.
You know?
90
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,430
And I'd feel like
I was part of the world again.
91
00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:45,390
I'm gonna go e-mail
my resumé right now.
92
00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:47,430
Oh. If it's cool
with you,
93
00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:49,520
because I would be invading
on your turf, you know?
94
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,850
-What?
-Is that all right?
95
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:52,270
Yeah?
96
00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,360
Yeah!
97
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,270
-Great! Thanks, baby!
-[LAUGHING] Oh, yeah!
98
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,980
No problem.
99
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,360
[WHISPERS] No!
100
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,410
She's standing on the curb,
101
00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:10,250
and I'm gettin' her packages
out of the truck,
102
00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:12,370
when out of nowhere
this car flies by,
103
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:14,420
Hits this huge puddle,
and bam!
104
00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:16,630
We're in the middle
of a wet T-Shirt contest.
105
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,750
[LAUGHTER]
106
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,260
Me against her.
107
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,340
She's winning,
but I'm holding my own.
108
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:24,840
So, anyway,
she's just standing there,
109
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,010
And she's got some
grade-A sweet potatoes.
110
00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:28,180
You know what I'm saying?
111
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,140
-So what she does is--
-Guess who?
112
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:33,020
-Hey!
-[LAUGHS]
113
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,190
Hi, honey.
114
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,270
What are you guys
talking about?
115
00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,810
I heard
sweet potatoes.
116
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,270
Uh, yeah.
117
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,110
We were thinking
about gettin''em
118
00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:42,490
for
the vending machine.
119
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,410
Actually, I was just, uh,
120
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:48,950
telling a story
about this female person
121
00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:50,790
on my route.
Sorry.
122
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:52,870
Oh, that's okay.
I know what guys talk about.
123
00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:54,790
Keep goin' like
I wasn't even here.
124
00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:57,290
Was she hot?
125
00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,130
-That's okay.
-Oh, come on!
126
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:01,300
All right, well, uh,
127
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,800
this w-woman
got splashed by a car
128
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,590
and her--her shirt
kind of got wet.
129
00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:08,260
That's where
the previously mentioned
130
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,430
sweet potatoes
come in.
131
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,560
So I was like, you know,
"Take your package.
132
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,640
"I'm not here
for the show, lady.
133
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:16,980
"I don't know what crap
you're tryin' to pull,
134
00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:19,690
but I love my wife."
you know what I'm sayin'?
135
00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:22,440
God.
136
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,570
Good one, honey.
137
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:25,280
All right, snack time.
138
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,570
Honey, can I tell you
139
00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:28,490
how good it feels
to be back at work?
140
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,240
I already have
a best friend upstairs
141
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,580
anda girl
we both hate.
142
00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,250
-Good for you.
-Yeah.
143
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,330
So, what are
you gonna get?
144
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:37,330
Eh, I'm not sure yet.
145
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,380
Hey, how 'bout this?
You pick the letter.
146
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:40,500
I pick the number.
147
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,880
Live dangerously.
148
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,630
Mmm, I don't think so.
149
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:46,880
I can't risk ending up
with a comb for lunch.
150
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,680
I think
I'm goin' with Fritos.
151
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,510
Oh, don't get the Fritos.
Get the Cheetos.
152
00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:52,930
I'm in the mood
for those.
153
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,390
Uh, well, you know,
for 70 cents,
154
00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:57,190
you can get
your very own bag.
155
00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:58,850
I know, but
I only want a few.
156
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,150
Come on, J-6, J-6, J-6,
J-6, J-6, J-6--
157
00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:02,520
O-O-Okay.
158
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,900
-J-6.
-Yeah!
159
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:13,490
CARRIE [ON C.B. RADIO]:
How's it goin', stud?
160
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,710
Carrie?
161
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,420
CARRIE [ON C.B. RADIO]:
Hi, honey!
162
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,840
What are you doin'
on the C.B.?
163
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,550
CARRIE [ON C.B. RADIO]:
Wanda's teachin' me how.
164
00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:27,800
Right, Wanda?
165
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,760
WANDA [ON C.B. RADIO]:
That's right, Doug.
166
00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:35,390
Well, we're all here, then.
167
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:38,100
CARRIE [ON C.B. RADIO]:
So, what's goin' on?
168
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,810
Uh, just doin' my route.
169
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,650
CARRIE [ON C.B. RADIO]:Oh,you say "rowt"? I say "root."
170
00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:47,150
And yet we still
make it work. Okay.
171
00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:48,190
Gotta wrap this up.
172
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,740
Got a package thing
to do.
173
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:51,870
CARRIE [ON C.B. RADIO]:
Okay. Bye, honey!
174
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:53,450
Bye.
175
00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:55,950
CARRIE [ON C.B. RADIO]:Oh,wait! Say good-bye to Wanda.
176
00:06:57,870 --> 00:07:00,250
Bye, Wanda.
177
00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:02,460
WANDA [ON C.B. RADIO]:
Bye, Doug.
178
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,970
ARTHUR: Okay, I need Hershey
in a little tighter.
179
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,430
Cupcake,
180
00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:11,680
quit the funny business.
181
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,510
This is a family picture.
182
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:16,470
And that's it. Now, hold it.
183
00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:29,610
Now, just wait
for the flash.
184
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,740
Arthur,
I hadn't planned on you
185
00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:32,530
actually being
inthe photo.
186
00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:34,990
Why not? It's a picture
of everyone you walk.
187
00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,080
Well. Yeah,
188
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,660
but I'm sending these
to my clients,
189
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:39,160
and I'm not sure
they would understand
190
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,000
that I walk
a human being.
191
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,960
When they see your name
on the list,
192
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,090
I tell them
you're a Schnauzer.
193
00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,300
Just smile.
194
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:49,760
Arthur, I don't think
I really wanna do--
195
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,300
Do it or you're fired!
196
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,760
Now smile.
197
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:57,140
-Only 80 more seconds.
-Okay. I'm going to Sears.
198
00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,310
Fine, but if
you're so worried
199
00:07:58,350 --> 00:07:59,560
about your picture
being ruined,
200
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,850
-I'd worry about him!
-Buster?
201
00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:03,980
Something that ugly
doesn't deserve a name.
202
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:05,770
[GASPS]
203
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:10,990
Are you sure
Northern Boulevard's
204
00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,660
the best way to go?
There's so many lights.
205
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,950
I think we should cut
through the Waldbaum's
206
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:17,410
and go through
the neighborhood.
207
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:18,660
You know? And then
we'd avoid all that.
208
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,910
Let's try that
tomorrow.
209
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,580
Okey-doke.
210
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,300
[YAWNS]
211
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:31,050
Ohh!
212
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:32,470
Ahh.
213
00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:34,630
I am beat.
I'm gonna head upstairs to bed.
214
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,640
Yeah,
me, too.
215
00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:41,100
You know what? Actually,
I'm gonna stay down
216
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:42,930
and actually watch
a little tele-vis-i-on
217
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,230
for a while.
218
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,900
-Okay, baby.
-Okay.
219
00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,780
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER TELEVISION]
220
00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:12,590
Oh, is that
Patrick Swayze?
221
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:03,560
Hey, man.
222
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,680
Have you seen Carrie?
223
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:05,850
No.
224
00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:08,140
Thank God!
225
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,980
I gotta hit the men's room where
I can grab 20 minutes alone
226
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,400
before we drive home
tonight.
227
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,820
Yeah,
about all that time
228
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:15,690
you're spending
in the bathroom.
229
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,700
The other drivers are
getting a little creeped out
230
00:10:17,740 --> 00:10:18,820
walking in and finding you
231
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:21,200
in that folding chair
by the urinals.
232
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:24,740
I'm sorry, but it's the only
way I can escape her.
233
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,210
She's everywhere!
234
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:28,830
CARRIE: Doug?
235
00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:31,040
Oh, my God!
Cover for me!
236
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:36,720
-Hey.
-Hey.
237
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,050
You see
the big guy?
238
00:10:38,090 --> 00:10:40,470
Uh, I--I think he's
still out on his route.
239
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,100
But his truck's
right there.
240
00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:45,640
Oh, he--he must be
delivering on foot, then.
241
00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:47,350
You guys do that?
242
00:10:47,390 --> 00:10:49,730
Uh, we like to mix it up.
243
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:51,480
[BELL DINGS]
244
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,900
Uh, that's my snack.
See you later.
245
00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:54,940
Hey, that's
my lean pocket.
246
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:57,150
-No, it's not.
-Yes, it is.
247
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,400
I need to do this.
248
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,410
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
249
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:18,590
[FOOTSTEPS GOING AWAY]
250
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,610
Aah!
251
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,240
-Hey, baby.
-Hey!
252
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,570
Calm down.
It's just me.
253
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:44,240
I know. What's up?
What's goin' on?
254
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,370
Oh, I was just wondering
if you can store some stuff
255
00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:47,450
in your locker for me.
256
00:11:47,490 --> 00:11:49,910
-Like what?
-Oh, just my sweater
257
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:52,750
and some
of my lady products
258
00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:55,040
and a picture of me
259
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:58,130
so you'll remember me
when I'm not here.
260
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:01,090
And when will that be?!
261
00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:02,430
What?
262
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:04,180
I'm sorry. It's just...
263
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:05,680
every second of every day,
264
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,260
you know? Driving together,
calling me in the truck.
265
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,930
All night with me, you,
and Patrick Swayze.
266
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,600
-I can't take it anymore!
-All right, look, Doug,
267
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,980
maybe I went a little
overboard here, okay?
268
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:17,770
Maybe I called you
a little too much
269
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,940
on your little radio there,
270
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,490
but I'm only gonna
be here for 2 weeks!
271
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:22,070
You couldn't take it
for 2 weeks?
272
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,450
I was surprised myself!
273
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:25,280
You know? But 2 weeks
can seem pretty long!
274
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,280
You know, like,
if you're on jury duty
275
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,120
or trapped in a mine!
276
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,410
Oh! Okay,
so working with me
277
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,620
is like being trapped
in a mine.
278
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,170
Okay, well,
I--you know what, Doug?
279
00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:39,130
I am so sorry that
my very presence here
280
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:41,630
has been so awful
for you.
281
00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:43,170
You know what?
It's really funny,
282
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,260
because for me,
283
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,640
I love spending this
time together.
284
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,560
I--I love being here
with you. You know?
285
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,890
I mean...
286
00:12:51,930 --> 00:12:54,810
watching you work has actually
been a turn-on for me,
287
00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:56,350
if you could believe that.
288
00:13:04,030 --> 00:13:05,860
-Really?
-Yeah.
289
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,070
You know, watching you lift
all those heavy boxes
290
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,540
and gettin' sweaty
and workin' the forklift.
291
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,750
I've never seen you
at work, you know?
292
00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,870
You're good at
what you do. It's sexy.
293
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,960
It is?
294
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,960
Yeah, but
you hate me, so...
295
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,880
what's the point?
296
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,130
I--
297
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,340
I feel
like an idiot now.
298
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,850
Well, you should.
299
00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:30,970
Look,
I'm--I'm sorry.
300
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,350
You know I love you.
I just--
301
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,890
I just
got carried away.
302
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:43,940
So you like
the forklift, huh?
303
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:46,530
Yeah.
304
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:49,870
Especially when you raise
and swivel at the same time.
305
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:52,080
You know, that breaks
every safety code, but...
306
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,910
it's my signature move.
307
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,250
Do you, uh...
308
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:02,250
like it
when I do this here?
309
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,840
Do you like that,
right here? Huh?
310
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,470
-We get it, Doug.
-Yeah.
311
00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:14,470
Give it a rest now.
312
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,350
How 'bout
this stuff here?
313
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:18,730
[BUBBLES POP]
314
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,400
Ohh!
315
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,440
Bubbles no match for me!
316
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:27,570
Look, I'm--
317
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:30,660
I'm really sorry.
Okay?
318
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,380
[BUBBLES POP]
319
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:44,800
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
320
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:47,590
Have a good day
at work, tiger.
321
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:50,090
Mmm. I hate
to see you go,
322
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,050
but I love
to watch you leave.
323
00:14:55,430 --> 00:14:56,730
What's up
with you two now?
324
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:59,140
Oh, just found out
there's a couple of perks
325
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,150
to havin' your wife
around at work.
326
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:02,270
What do you mean?
327
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,440
Mmm. I don't
like to have sex
328
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,650
in a truck and tell.
329
00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:10,280
Oh, wait. I guess I do.
330
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,700
-Nice.
-Yahtzee!
331
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,240
Doug and Carrie,
332
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,620
back of his truck.
333
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:22,080
Turnin' this place
into I.P. "Oh, yes."
334
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,380
That's the story, Duke.
335
00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:27,380
And by the way,
he punched outafter.
336
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,260
Rockin' on the clock.
337
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,630
Now, that's
the way to do it.
338
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,800
I heard it was
surprisingly tender.
339
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,470
I think it's
pretty inappropriate.
340
00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:37,470
Aren't they married?
341
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,350
Yeah.
Still, in a truck?
342
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,140
Yeah, guess
you're right.
343
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,520
Why are temps
always so slutty?
344
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:57,290
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
345
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:00,750
Spence, my good man!
346
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,210
Yeah, I'm here. Um...
347
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:06,880
why did you want me
to wear a green turtleneck?
348
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,630
For our Christmas card,
of course.
349
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:10,880
Come again?
350
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,050
A simple snapshot.
351
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:14,180
You offer me these
chocolate chip cookies,
352
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:17,430
and I react with delight,
thusly:
353
00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:19,970
Hey!
354
00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:21,810
What--
355
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,900
what exactly
is our relationship
356
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:26,690
that we're sending out
a Christmas card together?
357
00:16:26,730 --> 00:16:28,190
Buddies, confidantes,
358
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:30,570
2 Randy Gents
about town.
359
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:32,740
Don't you think
that seems...
360
00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:36,030
Joyous? Inspired?
361
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:37,910
Gay.
362
00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:40,410
Christmas is no time
for bigotry!
363
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:41,750
I'm not homophobic!
364
00:16:41,790 --> 00:16:44,370
I just don't wanna
be on a card with you.
365
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,630
These aren't even real!
366
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,090
Of course not.
They're prop cookies.
367
00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,840
Real cookies photograph
like buttons, idiot!
368
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:51,970
Merry Christmas, Arthur.
369
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,340
Good! Leave, then.
370
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,260
Now I don't have
to explain to people
371
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,970
how I befriended
a lawn dwarf!
372
00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:03,180
Back of the truck. Now.
373
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,110
Ahh.
374
00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:12,110
Comin' back for
some more Dougie lovin', huh?
375
00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:14,700
I guess once you pop,
you can't stop.
376
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:16,320
Ow!
377
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,910
Tough love. I'm in.
378
00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:20,950
I can't believe
you told everyone!
379
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,870
-What are you talkin' about?
-What am I talking about?
380
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,620
About what we did here.
381
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:26,000
Oh, and you didn't
tell anyone?
382
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,380
Oh, yeah, I just couldn't wait
to tell everyone
383
00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:29,960
how chunky nailed me
on bubble wrap.
384
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,380
You see, I knew this was wrong
for a husband and wife
385
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:33,970
-to work together!
-Well, you know what,
386
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:35,680
you don't have to worry
about that anymore,
387
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,800
because for the rest
of my time here,
388
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,100
we are not husband
and wife, okay?
389
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,850
We are separate employees
390
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,640
with separate lives.
391
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,810
Works for me!
392
00:17:43,850 --> 00:17:45,350
Perfect!
393
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,490
Okay, payday!
394
00:17:57,530 --> 00:17:59,410
Who wants
a paycheck?
395
00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:00,580
Uh, La Pointe?
396
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:01,910
La Pon-tay.
397
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,290
Right.
There you go.
398
00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:04,250
Deacon?
399
00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:05,870
-Thanks, Carrie.
-You're welcome.
400
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,500
And...
401
00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,960
Hefferman?
402
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,590
Actually,
it's Heffer-nan.
403
00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:12,840
Oh!
404
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,300
Right. Okay, well,
here's your check,Dick.
405
00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:18,180
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's Doug.
406
00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:19,800
I'm sorry.
I'm new here.
407
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,720
Okay, Florsheim?
408
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,640
Listen, I do need
to speak to you
409
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,850
about one non-work-related
matter
410
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:27,730
-if that's okay.
-What is it?
411
00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:28,980
Well, it's about
our Christmas tree.
412
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,360
We're supposed
to get it tonight,
413
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,020
that is, if we're still
celebrating Christmas.
414
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,480
Well, I knowIam.
415
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,400
As am I. In fact,
416
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,900
I'm gettin'
a Santa tattoo.
417
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:42,990
How 'bout this, Doug,
418
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:45,500
how 'bout we each get
our own tree this year? Hmm?
419
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:47,000
Sounds good to me.
Now I can break out
420
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,250
my naked lady ornaments.
421
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:57,050
DOUG: [GRUNTS]
422
00:18:57,090 --> 00:19:00,050
Ohh. Well,
I gotmytree.
423
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:01,640
Oh, is that one
yours?
424
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,430
That's adorable.
425
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,600
Actually, um, no.
426
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,850
I'm gonna--
this is the tree
427
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:09,100
that I'm getting
right here.
428
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:11,730
-Okay.
-There you go.
429
00:19:11,770 --> 00:19:12,900
-I got it.
-Yeah.
430
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,320
Okay.
431
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:18,450
-Hi.
-Hi.
432
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,570
How much for this one?
433
00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:20,820
Uh, that's $55.
434
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,740
$55. All righty.
435
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:26,080
Here we go. 60.
436
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,120
Ben, honey?
437
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,200
-Yeah?
-You got change?
438
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,750
Oh, I sure do,
sweetheart.
439
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:32,330
Well, where--where'd
I put my fanny pack?
440
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,210
-It's in the trailer.
-Right.
441
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,090
He never remembers
anything.
442
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,920
In case you forget,
your hat's on your head.
443
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,260
[LAUGHS]
444
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:41,220
-You guys are married?
-Oh, yeah.
445
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,640
And you work
together?
446
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:47,060
We've been together
24 hours a day since 1951.
447
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,600
Let me get some rope
for your car.
448
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,060
Okay.
449
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:52,520
Wow.
450
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,520
They've worked together
for half a century,
451
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,940
and, uh...
452
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:57,690
we couldn't even
make it for 10 days.
453
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:58,820
[SIGHS]
454
00:19:58,860 --> 00:19:59,940
We suck.
455
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,610
Yeah.
456
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:02,950
[SIGHS] Look, I'm--
457
00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:05,370
I'm sorry
about all of this. I--
458
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:06,950
I love being with you,
and if you want,
459
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:08,870
you can work
at I.P.S. full-time.
460
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:10,120
Should I quit?
461
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,170
That would make it
the best Christmasever.
462
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,130
Yes, sir,
got the change.
463
00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:16,960
And did you want
the other tree as well?
464
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,130
Uh, you know what?
465
00:20:18,170 --> 00:20:19,880
I think the one
is just good for us.
466
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,050
We're fine.
Thank you.
467
00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:23,090
Yeah. Thank you,
you guys.
468
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:25,600
-Merry Christmas.
-BOTH: Merry Christmas.
469
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:30,310
Nice work. You
just cost us a sale.
470
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:31,310
Idid?
471
00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:32,770
Yeah, if you'd
had your fanny pack
472
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:34,060
around your waist
where it belongs,
473
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,480
they wouldn't have time
to change their mind.
474
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,190
But the money's safer
in the trailer!
475
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,030
Oh, you get stupider
every year!
476
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:40,280
Oh, shut up!
477
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,820
[OVER HER TALKING]
Shut up. Shut up!
478
00:20:42,860 --> 00:20:44,360
Shut up!
479
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,500
Fire!
480
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:46,800
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
32803
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