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1
00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:04,330
* My eyesare gettin' weary*
2
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:07,170
*My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:09,000
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,920
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
5
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:17,550
*But I don't care,'cause all I wanna do*
6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,350
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
7
00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:25,100
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
8
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:29,270
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:34,070 --> 00:00:35,530
[RUSSIAN ACCENT] So for
first few days of job,
10
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:37,910
we open up the walls,
and we spray the fungicide
11
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,530
to get rid of mold.
12
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:40,620
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:41,660
Then we put back the wall
14
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:43,120
and apply
the anti-microbial coating.
15
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,540
I'll tell ya, I wish
I had some of that coating
16
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:46,670
after this one's
cooking. [LAUGHS]
17
00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:49,420
Fire in the hole!
You know what I'm sayin'?
18
00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:54,220
He's just excited
to meet you.
19
00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:55,550
Yeah, yeah,
we're real happy
20
00:00:55,590 --> 00:00:56,930
you're doin' all this work
for us, Steve.
21
00:00:56,970 --> 00:00:58,640
We--we hear
you're the best.
22
00:00:58,680 --> 00:00:59,850
I did win an award
23
00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:01,510
from Long Island
Mold Contractors' Association.
24
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,480
What do they call
that, "The Moldy"?
25
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,100
[LAUGHING]
26
00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:08,310
It's a very
beautiful award.
27
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,020
So we're
all set then, huh?
28
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,900
Yes, we are all set,
ready to rock 'n' roll.
29
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,900
See you in September.
30
00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:15,990
Wha--
31
00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:17,160
But that's
6 months from now.
32
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,280
Yeah, we can't
wait that long!
33
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,410
I mean, the mold's
under the house,
34
00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:20,660
it--it's in our walls--
35
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,830
What do you want me
to do, wave magic wand?
36
00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:24,250
I have many
big projects going.
37
00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:26,540
But can't we just
work something out?
38
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:27,920
I don't see how.
39
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,380
Darling, remember that
library book you took out for me
40
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:32,090
and accused me
of not returning?
41
00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:33,300
Yeah?
42
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:35,340
Well, here it is.
It's quite overdue,
43
00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:38,760
and I ripped out
several pages in anger.
44
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,180
Thank you.
45
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:41,850
We're kind of in the middle
of something here, Dad.
46
00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:44,100
Dad? This man
is your father?
47
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:46,270
Yeah, he lives with us.
48
00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:48,810
In Russia, we respect
our old people, too.
49
00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:50,360
In this country,
they just dump
50
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,570
in dumpster
like trash.
51
00:01:52,610 --> 00:01:55,190
It's good to see
you people are different.
52
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,070
Yeah, well,
what can you do?
53
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,160
We just love him.
54
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,490
We do. We, uh...
55
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,460
we cherish him.
He's my Yoda.
56
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,170
You know what? Let me see if
I can move some things around,
57
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:11,540
but I'm not sure.
58
00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:13,090
Oh, my God, anything
you can do would be great!
59
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:14,210
Yeah.
60
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:16,010
So, Father, eh,
61
00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:18,050
do they take
good care of you?
62
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,180
Why, yes.
In fact, uh,
63
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:23,850
they give me a very generous
allowance of $20 a week.
64
00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:27,310
By the way, Douglas,
65
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:29,640
-it's Friday.
-Yeah.
66
00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:31,310
All right.
67
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:35,900
And I believe
you forgot last week.
68
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:38,320
Oh, I did? Okay.
69
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,900
Tell you what I can do.
70
00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:41,700
How does Monday sound?
71
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:42,910
You put key under mat,
72
00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:44,160
we come first thing
in morning.
73
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,990
Oh, my God, that's great!
Thank you!
74
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,040
So be it.
75
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,660
-Let me grab paperwork.
-Okay.
76
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,170
Feelin' pretty good,
aren't you?
77
00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:53,000
Oh, yeah. Now take me
to the boat show,
78
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,710
or I blow this thing
wide open.
79
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:58,720
[**]
80
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:12,730
[BOTH SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
81
00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:18,990
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
82
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,240
[SNIFFS] Mmm...
83
00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:28,700
Uh...
84
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,540
Hi?
85
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,040
[RUSSIAN ACCENT]
Don't worry.
86
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,250
We are
with mold company.
87
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,670
Um, I'm not wearing
underpants.
88
00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:41,470
No.
89
00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:44,760
No, we look
for 3-prong outlet,
90
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,550
then we go.
91
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,140
I think there's one
over there, but, shh!
92
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:50,230
[WHISPERS] Oh.
93
00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:52,390
Shh!
94
00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:01,150
-Oh, boy!
-It's all right.
95
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:02,200
Don't worry.
96
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,160
We are
with mold company.
97
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,740
Ahem.
98
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,620
Doug...
99
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,910
[WHISPERS]
Get them outta here!
100
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,250
[WHISPERS]
Okay, but...
101
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:13,540
I'm not wearing
underpants.
102
00:04:14,790 --> 00:04:19,000
[POUNDING]
103
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:40,980
This feels
a little awkward.
104
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,490
What do we do?
105
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:46,700
Just ignore 'em?
Do we offer 'em cereal?
106
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:48,490
No, you don't
offer them cereal,
107
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:51,370
you just act
like a normal person.
108
00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:53,410
Hi, guys.
109
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,670
What?
110
00:04:57,710 --> 00:05:00,420
Oh, nothing,
I was just saying hi.
111
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,880
We are
with mold company.
112
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,130
We have to be here.
113
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,300
Yeah. No, no, no,
it's fine.
114
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,050
Yeah.
115
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,930
You want cereal?
116
00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:15,940
No, I had bagel.
117
00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:18,060
ARTHUR: Help!
118
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,520
Dad?
119
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,110
ARTHUR: I'm looking for
Douglas and Carrie Heffernan!
120
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,320
Don't answer!
121
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,280
This is our chance
for a fresh start.
122
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,780
We're in here.
Just follow my voice!
123
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:30,830
[PIANO NOTES PLAY]
124
00:05:30,870 --> 00:05:32,700
Keep comin',
you're gettin' warmer.
125
00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:33,830
Keep comin'.
126
00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:34,870
[DOOR SLAMS]
127
00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:37,040
And he's outside. Okay.
128
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:40,130
Doug, come here a sec.
129
00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:42,340
I got something
I need to show you.
130
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:45,590
You see how the seams in
there are failing?
131
00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:49,390
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
132
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:51,470
I think we need to use
the H.E.P.A. vacuum
133
00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:53,680
and then install sill flashings
and a kickout.
134
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,180
Now, it's going to cost you
about $300 extra,
135
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,520
but I think
in the long run,
136
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:58,810
it'll save you money.
137
00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:00,360
What do you think?
138
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,730
I think
that sounds great.
139
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:03,940
You, uh--you got
your own H.E.P.A. vacuum,
140
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,490
or you wanna use mine?
141
00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:08,570
I have one.
142
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:12,950
Good. Uh, th-that's good
that you have one. Okay.
143
00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:16,410
What was that about?
144
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:17,540
Oh, Steve thinks
we need to H.E.P.A.
145
00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:18,870
the whole thing
out in there,
146
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,670
and install some sill
flashings and a kickout.
147
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:23,340
I agree.
148
00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,960
And do you know
what any of that means?
149
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,050
Why do you always need
to know what things mean?
150
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,430
It's not
an attractive quality.
151
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:31,970
Well, is it gonna
cost any more?
152
00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:33,970
300, but it's gonna save us
money in the long run.
153
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:36,470
Doug, the guy
gave us an estimate.
154
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,060
Why didn't he see it the first
time when he came here?
155
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,270
I don't know!
156
00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:41,900
Well, don't you think
you should ask him?
157
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:43,230
[SIGHS]
158
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,030
Fine.
159
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,280
It never ends.
160
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,610
-What?
-I sa--I said you're beautiful.
161
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,570
Hey, Steve.
162
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:53,580
-What's up?
-Uh, question for ya.
163
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:56,040
Uh, how come the stuff
you were just telling me about
164
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,910
wasn't included
in the original estimate?
165
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,630
Just curious.
166
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:04,420
You are curious,
167
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:06,550
like the monkey, George?
168
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:08,920
Yeah, I--I guess.
169
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,590
Well, I didn't put
in estimate,
170
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:11,930
'cause I didn't see it.
171
00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:13,800
I didn't see it
because it was behind the wall,
172
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,470
and I cannot see
through the wall.
173
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:17,140
You want somebody
who can see through the wall,
174
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,930
maybe you should call Captain
Superman to help you out!
175
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,690
No, no, no, you don't need
to call Captain Superman.
176
00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,440
I was just wonderin',
you know.
177
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:25,770
Tryin' to learn
about mold.
178
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,570
[CHUCKLING]
You know?
179
00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,780
Uh, and you guys are doin'
a great job, by the way.
180
00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:31,030
Really,
and you know what,
181
00:07:31,070 --> 00:07:32,950
you guys make
the coveralls work, too.
182
00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:34,160
You really do.
183
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,240
You stick me in them,
184
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,540
and I'd look
like a peanut M&M.
185
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,790
I'll see ya tomorrow.
186
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,670
[**]
187
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,170
Hello?
188
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:50,590
Anybody here?
189
00:07:50,630 --> 00:07:52,340
Their tools are gone.
190
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:53,970
Where are they?
191
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:56,760
I don't know.
Maybe they're late.
192
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,600
Maybe, maybe today,
they didn't feel like rushin'.
193
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,520
[LAUGHING]
194
00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:07,820
Am I gonna hear a Russian joke
every morning?
195
00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:10,610
Not with that attitude.
196
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,790
Doug,
197
00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,830
it's been 4 days
since they've been here.
198
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,500
I can't live like this.
Did you call them again?
199
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:30,460
Yes. I left message 17
an hour ago.
200
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,970
Did you leave him
our number?
201
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,760
[SARCASTICALLY] Oh, gee,
no, I forgot to do that.
202
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,640
Actually, you know what,
I may have forgot.
203
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,060
ARTHUR: Hello?
204
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,470
Dad, we're in here.
205
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,480
Just follow the tape
we put down.
206
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,020
ARTHUR: It's taking
me in circles!
207
00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:47,520
It's not taking
you in circles.
208
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,650
Actually, it is.
209
00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:51,190
Uh, payback
for the allowance thing.
210
00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:54,860
CARRIE: Come on.
211
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,160
ARTHUR:
Thank you, darling.
212
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,580
I was spinning like
a dreidel out there.
213
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:01,540
Shh. It's ringing.
It's ringing.
214
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,200
Uh, hey, Steve, uh--
215
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,250
uh, Doug Heffernan here.
216
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,420
Oh, hello, Doug,
how are you doing?
217
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:09,130
Oh, I'm doing good.
How about you?
218
00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:10,090
Uh-huh.
219
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,090
Yeah, yeah,
it is cold, isn't it?
220
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:15,220
Ooh, it's very cold, I--
221
00:09:15,260 --> 00:09:17,050
Uh, question for ya.
222
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,720
Uh, we've kind
of been wondering
223
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,470
where you guys have been?
224
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:21,770
STEVE [OVER PHONE]:
Like I told you,
225
00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:23,220
we have manybig projects going.
226
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:25,440
Yeah, but you said
you'd squeeze us in,
227
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,770
and now our house is--
it's kind of--
228
00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:28,150
it's kind of
ripped apart.
229
00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:30,820
Okay, okay.
230
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,570
How does a week
from Friday sound?
231
00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:35,700
That--that--that's
2 weeks from now.
232
00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:37,160
Well, if that doesn't
make you happy,
233
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,030
maybe you wanna call
Captain Superman.
234
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,990
No, no, no, no,
th-that'll be fine.
235
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,620
-Okay.
-What, what, what?
236
00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:44,950
He's gonna come
a week from Friday.
237
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,420
No, that's
unacceptable!
238
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:48,540
Look, is there any way,
uh, you could--
239
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:49,920
Doug,
it's unacceptable.
240
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,550
-Use the word!
-Uh...
241
00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:56,590
Uh, Steve, what you're
doing is very un...
242
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,970
-nice of you.
-All right, all right!
243
00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:58,930
Gimme this.
244
00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:01,470
Hello, this
is Carrie Heffernan--
245
00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:03,350
Yes--Mrs. Doug.
246
00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:06,270
Um, your behavior
is unacceptable.
247
00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:07,560
Now, there may be
other people
248
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,940
who fall for
this kind of crap,
249
00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:10,480
but not us,
buddy-boy, okay?
250
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,020
I happen to work
for a law firm
251
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,860
that specializes
in civil litigation.
252
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,820
So if I don't seeyou guys tomorrow,
253
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:18,490
here, at 8:00 am,
254
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,870
I will be introducingmy foot-ski
255
00:10:20,910 --> 00:10:23,280
to your ass-ski!
256
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,210
I think he got
the message.
257
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,710
So they left our home
completely ripped apart,
258
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:36,460
we haven't seen
them for 6 days.
259
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:39,090
I mean, they think that they can
take advantage of us,
260
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:40,680
but they don't know
that I work for the--
261
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,010
well, I'll just say it--
262
00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:44,310
the toughest litigator
in New York City.
263
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,930
That's very kind
of you, Carrie.
264
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,180
So what do we do?
265
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,520
We just start
with a threatening letter,
266
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,190
or we just go
right for the lawsuit?
267
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,860
-Well, here's the thing..
-What?
268
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,770
You're screwed.
269
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,360
What do you mean,
we're screwed?
270
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,860
We--we--we have
a contract!
271
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,860
Yes, a very nice one.
272
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,370
Now, let me tell you
a little story
273
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:04,450
about a brick pizza oven.
274
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:07,540
My wife had to have one
installed in our house.
275
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:11,710
Apparently, it was critical
to our social standing.
276
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,210
So I hired a contractor.
277
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,090
The guy ripped
a hole in our wall,
278
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:16,960
then decided
he'd only show up
279
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,050
when it was convenient.
280
00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:20,260
So I sued the bastard.
281
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:25,060
2 years and $78,000 later,
282
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,060
I got my pizza oven.
283
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:30,310
By then Tiffany
was on a no-carb diet.
284
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:33,770
We keep books
in there now.
285
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,360
So, you're sayin'
286
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,610
I could have a pizza oven
in my house?
287
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:43,070
Doug!
288
00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:46,530
Sorry, I'm just trying
to find the good here.
289
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,080
All right,
so we can't sue them,
290
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,620
but, I mean,
come on, please,
291
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,080
there's gotta be
something we can do.
292
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,330
My professional advice?
293
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,210
Start kissing some keister.
294
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,340
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
295
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,510
I've got vodka!
296
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,810
[POWER DRILL BUZZING]
297
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:17,270
Look at you.
298
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,030
What happened
last night?
299
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:20,570
I went to drop off
the vodka,
300
00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:22,860
and he made me stay
and drink with him.
301
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,780
I don't remember
much after that...
302
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:28,160
except at some point
I was dancing with men.
303
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,710
Oh, and I may have
played Russian roulette.
304
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,290
You know you can't
drink hard liquor.
305
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,790
Yeah, I know. I did
what I had to do.
306
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,710
Look, they're back here.
You should be happy.
307
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:41,300
Oh, yeah,
they showed up for work,
let's throw 'em a parade.
308
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,470
Shh! You keep up that attitude,
309
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:44,010
they're gonna walk
out of here again.
310
00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:45,510
What do you want me to do,
smile all day like an idiot?
311
00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:47,010
You know what, if you
really want to help,
312
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,390
you should throw
on a pair of daisy dukes,
313
00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:51,060
go out, and wash the car
during their lunch break.
314
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:54,060
-Hey, Doug, my friend!
-Hey, bud!
315
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,190
-How's it goin'?
-Ohh!
316
00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:58,860
This guy
likes his vodka!
317
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:01,530
He also does
a great robot dance.
318
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,570
Okay, so here's
where we're at.
319
00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:07,740
Basement is
finished, no mold.
320
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:08,620
And the living room,
321
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,580
2 walls finished,
2 to go.
322
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,290
That's great,
that sounds great!
323
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,370
Do you mind?
324
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,830
Uh, no, no, no.
Go ahead, go ahead.
325
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:16,920
Please.
326
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,170
[SPEAKS RUSSIAN]
327
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,880
[BOTH SPEAK RUSSIAN]
328
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:24,920
[GAGS]
329
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,130
Uh, you know, we're
gonna take our coffee
330
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,180
in the other room.
331
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,550
-Okay, Doug.
-All right.
332
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:31,970
Oh, hello.
333
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,480
Hey, Father,
how are you?
334
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,520
Or, as we say in Russia--
[SPEAKS RUSSIAN]
335
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:39,810
Hey, yeah!
Marvelous, yeah!
336
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:43,440
So, uh,
337
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,240
what part
of the U.S.S.R.
338
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,320
do you hail from,
son?
339
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,660
I am from Kiev,
340
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:51,120
but it's no longer called
U.S.S.R., thank God.
341
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,870
"Thank God"? What are
you talkin' about?
342
00:13:52,910 --> 00:13:54,200
It's a mess there now!
343
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,540
Oh, it's much better now
344
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,710
without the stinking
communists running things.
345
00:13:57,750 --> 00:14:00,540
Oh, please! You people
had a workers' paradise
346
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,710
-and you blew it!
-A paradise?!
347
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:05,550
The K.G.B., they throw
my mother in the Gulag!
348
00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:08,760
Well, I'm sure they had
a very good reason.
349
00:14:09,590 --> 00:14:11,390
Just imagine,
2 weeks from now,
350
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,600
all this is
gonna be done,
351
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,430
and the only mold
in this house will...
352
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,390
be on the whole wheat
bread you keep buying
353
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,060
and that I never eat.
354
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,230
STEVE: You don't
know anything
355
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:23,020
about what you're
talking about!
356
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,860
The collectivization
of the farms
357
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:25,900
was a stroke of genius!
358
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:27,570
We lost our home!
359
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:30,320
It's all about you,
isn't it?
360
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,570
Dad, what's going on?
361
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,030
We can't stay
here anymore.
362
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,330
[SPEAKS RUSSIAN]
363
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:35,790
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
364
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:36,830
What happened here?
365
00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:38,460
This man knows nothing
about communism!
366
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,880
What did he say?
Hey, we love communism!
367
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,090
You love communism?!
368
00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:44,670
Let me finish!
369
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:46,590
We love that you
got rid of it!
370
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:48,510
Ohh, this man
is an old fool!
371
00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:51,260
Well, look, you don't
like him, he's gone!
372
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,640
You'll never
see him again!
373
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,270
[MUSIC AND LAUGHTER]
374
00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:01,730
[SONG SUNG IN RUSSIAN]
375
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,300
[RUSSIAN SONG CONTINUES
OVER SPEAKERS IN DISTANCE]
376
00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:37,930
MAN:Bashnicki!
377
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:42,060
[MEN SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN]
378
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,560
ARTHUR: All right.
All right, boys.
379
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,150
Papa needs
a new fur hat!
380
00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:48,690
[SPITS TWICE]
381
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,280
Hey!
382
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,530
Whatcha doin'?
383
00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:53,200
PlayingBashnicki.
It's a Russian game
384
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,030
involving cards,
dice, and dominoes,
385
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,410
and it's positively
addicting!
386
00:15:57,450 --> 00:16:00,370
[CHUCKLES] Well, I'm glad
to see you guys made up,
387
00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,670
but I'm just, uh,
trying to work in there.
388
00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,960
So, if you guys
could just keep it down?
389
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,760
-Absolutely.
-ALL: Sure, sure.
390
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,180
[SIGHS]
391
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,230
ARTHUR:Bashnicki!
392
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:25,360
Sorry, darling, but I just
won back the dining room table!
393
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,400
[ALL MUTTERING]
394
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,940
ARTHUR: Hey, come on,
one more game! Come on!
395
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,370
Oh, Steve.
396
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:36,780
Yes?
397
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,240
Oh, um...
398
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,620
everything looks
great downstairs.
399
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:41,910
Yeah, it's just
that I--I--
400
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,750
I thought you guys
were done up here.
401
00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:45,080
Yes, done
with fungicide,
402
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,630
but now comes
the fun part.
403
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:50,550
The ventilation of
microbial contaminants.
404
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:53,260
Okay, plug in yellow
extension cord!
405
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:54,590
MAN: Okay!
406
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:57,720
It--it's just that I have
this report due tomorrow,
407
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,600
and it's kind of hard
to work downstairs
408
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,810
with the screaming
and the gambling.
409
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:05,100
And, oh, I think
they're roasting something.
410
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,770
I bring you
your laptop.
411
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:09,730
Did you unplug that?
412
00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:14,150
Yes, I needed the--
the 3-prong outlet.
413
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,320
But I didn't save
my report yet!
414
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,160
Ohh, you should
always back up your work.
415
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,660
You're right.
416
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,330
My bad.
417
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:32,050
-Hey, hon.
-Hi.
418
00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:33,470
Oh, traffic
was killer today.
419
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,970
They shut down 2 lanes
on the Grand Central.
420
00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:39,220
It was brutal.
Ohh...
421
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:41,810
What is that?
422
00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:44,060
My belt.
423
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,270
What have I told you
424
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,810
about throwing
your belt on the bed?
425
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:48,480
When you take
your belt off,
426
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,980
hang it up, you animal!
427
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,200
Wow.
428
00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,870
Either you're mad
at something else,
429
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:03,620
or I think
I want a divorce.
430
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:04,870
It's these mold guys.
431
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,500
They're driving me crazy
432
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:09,040
with theBashnickiand the
smoking and my computer.
433
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,590
Doug, let me kill them.
434
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:11,630
Please let me kill 'em?
435
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:12,670
Look, you're not
killing anyone.
436
00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:14,670
Just one--
you can pick 'im!
437
00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:15,920
Calm down.
438
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,510
No. You know what?
I'm gonna go downstairs
439
00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:19,470
and at least tell them
that they can't treat
440
00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:20,510
human beings like this.
441
00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:21,600
No! No, Carrie,
you can't!
442
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,850
Doug, get out
of my way!
443
00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:23,930
Listen to me!
444
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,180
I can't drink
any more vodka.
445
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,100
Today, I delivered a package
to a nursery school,
446
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,860
and I threw up in
a little water fountain.
447
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,320
Come on, they have
one wall to go,
448
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:33,940
and then
they're done. One wall!
449
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,320
I don't care!
If I don't unload on somebody,
450
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,450
I'm gonna explode!
451
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:38,530
So?
452
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:40,410
Take it out on me.
453
00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:42,580
Twist my nipples.
454
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:46,370
-What?
-Twist 'em.
455
00:18:46,410 --> 00:18:48,750
You always wanna twist them when
you're angry with me, right?
456
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:49,960
Yeah.
457
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,670
And don't you always
feel happy after?
458
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,210
-Sure.
-So...
459
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:56,670
twist the dials!
Come in, Tokyo!
460
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,470
Oh, for God's sakes, if you're
gonna do it, do it now.
461
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,140
Aah-aah-aah! Yaz-bah!
462
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,060
Oh, God!
463
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,890
You feel better
at least?
464
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,060
Not really.
465
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,110
My hand slipped
off the left one.
466
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,570
-Let me do it again.
-No!
467
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:14,570
Stop!
468
00:19:14,610 --> 00:19:16,230
Douglas,
is Steve in here?
469
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,570
I got a bone to pick
with him about his men.
470
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:19,650
What's the problem?
471
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,070
They're cheats.
472
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,780
I drew 2 jacks,
473
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,030
I rolled snake eyes,
474
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,240
and I matched 2 dominoes.
475
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,910
That's a Kalashnikov
where I come from.
476
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:30,120
Arthur,
you listen to me.
477
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,960
You say one word
to Steve,
478
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,800
and your dream of owning
a hamster is dead.
479
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,090
Checkmate.
480
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:39,300
You'll get no more
trouble from me.
481
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,760
You may want
to wear these
482
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,310
so you don't inhale
the toxic fume.
483
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:47,640
Do you mind?
484
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:57,940
Carrie!
485
00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,610
Your time will come.
486
00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:02,410
Your time will come.
487
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:06,700
Hey, Doug!
We are finished.
488
00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:09,250
Come, one last drink
together.
489
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:12,120
Uh...
490
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,170
I--I really shouldn't.
491
00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,340
Ahh.
492
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,970
Perhaps now is
good time to tell you.
493
00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:28,310
Pavel broke your toilet.
494
00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:33,650
That's okay.
495
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,270
Good. Then we go now.
496
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,610
That's it?
You--you're sure?
497
00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:38,780
You're--
we're mold-free?
498
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,490
100%. Our work
here is done.
499
00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:44,820
Hold on a second. I think Carrie
wanted to say good-bye to you.
500
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:46,490
Honey?
501
00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:47,990
Go get 'em.
502
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:49,790
Oh. Hey...
503
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:52,160
Pavel broke
our toilet.
504
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:57,590
Who the hell do you people
think you are?
505
00:20:57,630 --> 00:20:59,250
I want you all to know
506
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:02,010
that if I see any of you
walking down the street
507
00:21:02,050 --> 00:21:03,680
and I am in my car,
508
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,050
I will run you down!
509
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:06,850
Okay? And just when
you think it's over,
510
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:09,970
I'm gonna put it in reverse,
I'm gonna back over you!
511
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:12,680
Okay? Then I'm gonna
get out of the car,
512
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:17,270
and that's where
the real whup-ass begins.
513
00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:22,990
And the Moldy goes to...
514
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:25,910
[LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]
515
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:27,030
I love my life!
516
00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:28,280
Steve Psarovich!
517
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,910
[INSTRUMENTAL FLOURISH
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
518
00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,950
MALE ANNOUNCER [OVER P.A.]:
This is Steve Psarovich's
519
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,080
second Moldy.
520
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,750
Whoo! Thank you.
521
00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:40,420
Oh, this is what it's all about!
522
00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:41,460
Whoo!
523
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:45,840
[**]
35868
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