All language subtitles for The King of Queens (2003) - S05E13 - Attention Deficit_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:04,370 * My eyes are gettin' weary* 2 00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:07,170 *My back is gettin' tight* 3 00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:09,000 *I'm sittin' here in traffic* 4 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,220 *On the Queensboro Bridge tonight* 5 00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:17,550 *But I don't care, 'cause all I want to do* 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,390 *Is cash my check and drive right home to you* 7 00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:24,560 *'Cause, baby, all my life* 8 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,690 *I will be drivin' home to you* 9 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,160 Hey, Lou. 10 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,030 Hey, Carrie. 11 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,200 Everything okay? You seem a little down. 12 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,370 Oh. Ah, it's just this, uh, thing at work. 13 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,000 They brought in some consultant 14 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,120 to evaluate all of us. 15 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,880 I get my pounding tomorrow. 16 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,250 I bet you're gonna do great. 17 00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:50,460 Ohh. That's sweet. 18 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,340 Thanks, Lou. 19 00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:56,090 Hey, babe. 20 00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:58,220 Hey. Come here, come here, quick. 21 00:00:58,260 --> 00:00:59,720 Pick a card. Come on. 22 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,970 Oh, no. Come on, honey. I'm not in the mood. 23 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,220 Not in the mood? You sure you wanna 24 00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:05,390 use that one up on a card trick? 25 00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:08,730 Fine. 26 00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:11,360 Aren't the cards supposed to be facing down? 27 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,820 Why, the little lady's right, 28 00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:14,570 so let's turn 'em over. 29 00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:16,780 Oh! Who is this? 30 00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:19,990 That's you. 31 00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:23,370 Nope. It's 52 of me. 32 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:25,080 I made 'em up special for my Super Bowl party. 33 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,080 Aren't they great? 34 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,460 Mm-hmm. 35 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,290 Hey, look what happens when you flip through them. 36 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,750 I don't move, just like real life. 37 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,720 Oh, please don't tell me we're out of Advil. 38 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,930 Yeah, I think we are. Why? What's the matter with you? 39 00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:39,260 I'm getting a migraine. 40 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,470 Oh, I'm sorry. 41 00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:41,890 Oh, it's this freakin' evaluation 42 00:01:41,930 --> 00:01:43,180 at work tomorrow. 43 00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:44,640 You know, I'm gonna go upstairs and lay down. 44 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,390 Could you do me a favor and bring me that heat wrap? 45 00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:47,810 You have to put it in the microwave for, 46 00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:49,100 like, 3 minutes. 47 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,440 Yes. I was gonna nuke myself a Hot Pocket, 48 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,190 but you go right to the head of the line. 49 00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:55,690 Oh, uh, quick question 50 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,030 vis-a-vismy Super Bowl blowout. 51 00:01:58,070 --> 00:01:59,280 No, honey. I can't focus on that right now-- 52 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,530 But just real quick. 53 00:02:00,570 --> 00:02:02,280 Since the living room TV is being fixed, 54 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,290 can I bring the big screen in from the garage? 55 00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:05,450 -Doug! -DOUG: I'm sorry. 56 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,080 You head on up. I'll see you in 3. 57 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,870 Okay. Thanks. 58 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,380 [SIGHS] 59 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,300 [MICROWAVE CONTROLS BEEP] 60 00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:24,680 [MICROWAVE WHIRRING] 61 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,610 Heh. 62 00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:26,870 Doug? 63 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,540 Shh! 64 00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:34,250 What are you doing?! 65 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:38,760 Oh, I--I guess it needs another couple minutes. 66 00:03:40,090 --> 00:03:42,380 [**] 67 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,930 Gentlemen, a little Super Bowl party update. 68 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:48,930 I'll be introducing a few new recipes this year. 69 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:50,270 Let's just say I found a way 70 00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:53,230 that guacamole can get you drunk. 71 00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,230 [ALL GRUNT IN AGREEMENT] 72 00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:59,480 Talkin' about a guaca-tini! Hello? 73 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,650 Cool. 74 00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:03,660 Is there some sort of problem, or... 75 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:08,790 Well, thing is, Barry, the new guy from the loading dock... 76 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:11,620 he's having a Super Bowl party, too. 77 00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:14,460 Barry, from the loading dock? 78 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,920 He's a good guy. 79 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,050 Yeah, he's a good guy who looks over at me when I pee. 80 00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:20,630 Well, maybe he's, uh, never seen 81 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:22,300 someone pee while eatin' a sandwich. 82 00:04:22,340 --> 00:04:23,680 [LAUGHTER] 83 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,220 The Super Bowl party's my thing. 84 00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:27,600 Hey, who else offers you a different theme every year, huh? 85 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,310 Oh, yeah, yeah. Last year was, uh, 86 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:32,600 "Bring your own meat, bread and chair." 87 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,940 Yeah. 88 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,440 And then there was the year you hired the stripper. 89 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,770 He was great. 90 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,320 How was I supposed to know. His name was Sandy. 91 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,360 You know what, you guys are just threatened by a man 92 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,990 who's comfortable with his body. 93 00:04:47,030 --> 00:04:48,740 Whatever. 94 00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:51,290 Come on, it's gonna be great this year. 95 00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:52,870 Any other issues? 96 00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:56,960 You never offer any healthy alternatives. 97 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,000 What's with you people? 98 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,380 Deac, will you tell these idiots 99 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,590 they're coming to my Super Bowl party? 100 00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:07,340 Yeah, um... about that... 101 00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:09,050 You're bailing?! 102 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,140 Well, I got my kids this weekend. 103 00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:11,310 DOUG: So? 104 00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,810 So, Barry's gonna have a petting zoo. 105 00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:14,350 A petting zoo. Oh, that's a great idea, yeah. 106 00:05:14,390 --> 00:05:15,850 I hope you like cutting your kid's finger 107 00:05:15,890 --> 00:05:17,480 out of a llama's belly. 108 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,810 And it's just one game. 109 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,980 I mean, don't we watch enough sports together? 110 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,440 The Super Bowl party is my annual thing, man. 111 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,820 It's tradition! 112 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:26,910 Guy, you've had it like 3 of the last 8 years. 113 00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:28,370 Okay, so I haven't had it every year, 114 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:29,530 but I've had it more often than not. 115 00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:31,620 No, it's less often than not. 116 00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:32,660 Look, I'll tell you what. 117 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:33,830 If you can get something together 118 00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:35,330 that's halfway entertaining for my kids, 119 00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,410 then I'll show up. 120 00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:37,670 Thank you. And I expect the same 121 00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:38,920 from all of you, understand? 122 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:39,960 [ALL GRUMBLE] 123 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,000 Could at least pick up a food platter? 124 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,420 All right, you're outta control. 125 00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:48,130 [**] 126 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,180 -Hey, Lou. -Hey, Carrie. 127 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,510 Oh, hey. How was your evaluation? 128 00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:54,350 Oh, uh, it actually got postponed to tomorrow, 129 00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:56,730 but that was so sweet of you to ask. 130 00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:57,890 No problem. 131 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,150 Hey, babe. 132 00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:05,570 Hey. 133 00:06:05,610 --> 00:06:06,950 How was your day? 134 00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:08,740 It was good. 135 00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:12,830 Yeah, my day was pretty crazy, too. 136 00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:15,580 Yeah. So, got a little dilemma here. 137 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,160 I'm looking for the perfect mozzarella stick for my party. 138 00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:21,920 Problem is, I like the cheese from Fanelli's, 139 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,670 but the breading from Sorisi's Pizza. 140 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:28,720 Well, the important thing is not to panic. 141 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,720 Wait, it gets worse. 142 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,890 Best marinara dipping sauce? Cooper's. 143 00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:34,810 It's crazy. 144 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:37,680 Okay, well, good luck with that. 145 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,350 Guess I'll go start dinner, 146 00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,190 unless you had anything else you wanna say 147 00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:44,770 about your day or... mine. 148 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,490 No. 149 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,990 I'm sorry, you want a cheese stick? 150 00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,740 No. 151 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,080 By the way, if you're wondering 152 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,580 how my evaluation went today at work, 153 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,460 you can just go next door and ask Lou Ferrigno. 154 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,590 You know what? I was just gonna ask you about that. 155 00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:06,050 Oh, yeah? When? 156 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:09,340 After you work through your big dipping sauce crisis? 157 00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:11,590 Okay, I forgot. Okay? I'm sorry. 158 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:14,260 Oh, that's funny because Lou Ferrigno didn't forget. 159 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,760 Apparently he cares more about me 160 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,850 than my own husband does. Good to know. 161 00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:19,930 Oh, come on. Lou-- he has to be nice. 162 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,190 He's a giant. 163 00:07:22,310 --> 00:07:23,730 If he wasn't nice, 164 00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,860 he'd have villagers coming after him with torches. 165 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:26,730 Oh, please. 166 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,570 Just tell me how it went. 167 00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:30,070 It got postponed. 168 00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:31,780 Postponed? Then why are you yelling at me? 169 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:34,120 Because you didn't know that. 170 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,490 Yeah, but I sensed it. 171 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:38,500 You and I, we have an unspoken bond. 172 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,250 It's like we don't even have to ask. We just know. 173 00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:42,330 We're like twins. 174 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:43,920 Yeah. We're like twins. 175 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,500 We should switch clothes and try to fool people. 176 00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:49,960 Okay, it slipped my mind. It happened this one time. 177 00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,840 This one time? Okay, how about last night 178 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,340 when it just slipped your mind that I was upstairs 179 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,510 with one of the worst headaches I've had in my life, 180 00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:59,680 and you're down here building a house of cards? 181 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,600 Yeah, if you want to bring up ancient history. 182 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,690 Look, the point is... 183 00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:05,770 I love you. Come here. 184 00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,360 Oh, please, please. 185 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,030 I think you're blowing this way out of proportion here! 186 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,110 I don't think I am, Doug. Uh, let me ask you a question. 187 00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:12,820 Do you think about me, 188 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,450 you know, throughout your day, when we're not together? 189 00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:15,660 Do you think about me at all? 190 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:16,990 Of course I do. 191 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:20,000 Yeah? Like when? What are your thoughts? 192 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,120 That... 193 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,160 you're...pretty. 194 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,120 Okay. 195 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,670 Oh, okay, and I guess all you do is sit around all day 196 00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,290 just thinking about me. 197 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,840 No, I don't sit around all day thinking about you, Doug, 198 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,420 but I do think about you a lot. 199 00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:31,670 Oh, really? Okay, well, you know what, 200 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,840 give me an example of one of these times 201 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,220 when you're thinking of me. 202 00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:37,100 Go ahead. Take all the time you need, toots. 203 00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:40,060 Okay. Well, you know how you've been having 204 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,520 all these dentist appointments for your impacted molars? 205 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:43,850 Yeah. What about them? 206 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,020 Okay, well, 207 00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:46,600 when I know you're sitting in that chair, 208 00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:48,110 I am thinking of you because I know you're nervous, 209 00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:50,530 and I am hoping that you are okay. 210 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:52,070 Like you have one at 2:00 tomorrow, right? 211 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,860 I will be sitting at my desk thinking about you 212 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:59,620 because you're my husband and I love you. 213 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:03,620 [SCOFFS] That's the best you got? 214 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,760 Hey. 215 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,260 Hey. 216 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,470 All right, so talk to me about this Super Bowl party, Doug. 217 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:21,930 Huh? Oh, it's, uh, it's coming right along. 218 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,810 Really? 'Cause Barry just announced 219 00:09:23,850 --> 00:09:25,100 he's getting a Ben and Jerry's Cart, 220 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,350 and my kids got wind of it. 221 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,770 You know what I think? I think Barry's trying 222 00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:29,980 a little too hard 223 00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,320 to get children to come to his house. 224 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,110 Just tell me what you got planned, all right? 225 00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:37,570 Well, unlike Barry, I don't need showboat. 226 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:41,790 Okay? Let's just say it's gonna be pretty sweet. 227 00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,000 Ooh, yeah. 228 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,620 I knew it. You got nothing. 229 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,790 You know what? We're going to Barry's party. 230 00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:49,250 Okay, you wanna know what we got? 231 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:50,880 We got a haunted house in the garage. 232 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,960 There. Way to ruin the surprise. 233 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,210 A haunted house? 234 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,010 Yeah, a haunted house, with skeletons and a-- 235 00:09:56,050 --> 00:09:58,470 a bowl full of eyeballs. Very scary stuff. 236 00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,470 If I were you, I'd pack 'em extra Underoos. 237 00:10:00,510 --> 00:10:02,310 All right, I guess we'll come. 238 00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:04,430 Okay, are we done talking about your precious offspring? 239 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:05,770 'Cause, believe it or not, I actually have 240 00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:06,770 other things on my mind. 241 00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:08,690 Oh, yeah? Like what? 242 00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:11,480 [SIGHS] Last night, Carrie and I had this big fight 243 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,650 about how I forgot to ask her about 244 00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:16,190 her evaluation at work, and how she's always 245 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,570 thinking about what's going on in my life. 246 00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:19,860 She told you that? 247 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,160 Yeah. Like when I'm at the dentist, 248 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,790 she said she's feeling all bad for me. 249 00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:25,290 Sucker. 250 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,580 What do you mean? 251 00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:29,670 Women love to talk about how much they think about you. 252 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,830 It's a big scam. 253 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,290 You know what they're really thinking about? 254 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,420 What? 255 00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:34,420 Chick crap. 256 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:37,050 You know, throw pillows and lotions 257 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:39,340 and private schools and Lenny Kravitz 258 00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:40,840 and fat-free sour cream. 259 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,140 But not you, babe. Oh, no. 260 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:45,520 All right. How much should I discount 261 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:46,850 what you're saying 262 00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:50,600 because you're coming off a very bitter divorce? 263 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,690 20%. 264 00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:54,110 Okay. 265 00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:56,570 But you know what? You still make a point. 266 00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:57,740 Where you going? 267 00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,740 We'll just see how much she thinks about me. 268 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,740 [**] 269 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,580 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 270 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,210 -WOMAN: You're kidding me. -CARRIE: No. 271 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,040 Ugh, he couldn't be grosser. 272 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,380 Oh, I know. I know. 273 00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:14,880 Then I'm desperately trying to get away. 274 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,210 DOUG: Well, well, well... 275 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:19,920 Excuse me one second. 276 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,590 Doug, what are you doing here? 277 00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:23,430 Well, I just thought I'd pay you a little visit 278 00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:25,680 at 2:00 when I'm supposed to be having 279 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,640 my dentist appointment. 280 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,060 -What? -Yeah, you know, 281 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:32,690 when you said you were gonna be thinking of me. 282 00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:33,610 Oh, my God. 283 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:34,860 Yeah, I guess laughing it up 284 00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:35,860 with your little pajama party 285 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,530 is how you feel my pain. 286 00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:39,610 How touching. 287 00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:43,070 Okay, let me get this straight. 288 00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:45,080 You actually came down here 289 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,040 to catch me not thinking of you? 290 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,580 That's right. 291 00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:51,250 What about your dentist appointment? 292 00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,750 I canceled it. 293 00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:55,170 Good plan, Doug. 294 00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:56,880 Let another day's worth of food get stuck in there 295 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,010 because I can't get enough of watching you work that thing 296 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,130 with your tongue. 297 00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:05,180 Ah, you know, what? 298 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:07,220 Don't try to make this about my mouth, okay? 299 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,470 This is about the fact 300 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,350 that you are no better than I am, sister. 301 00:12:10,390 --> 00:12:12,230 You know what you are? You're a hypocrite. 302 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:14,020 Hypocrite? Pretty big word there. 303 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,270 Yeah, I checked it. It's right. 304 00:12:16,310 --> 00:12:17,360 All right, Doug. You know what? 305 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,730 Okay, you caught me. You caught me. 306 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,950 At exactly 2:00, no, I was not thinking about you. 307 00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:23,150 Hmm! 308 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,370 But at my lunch hour, I did go and get you 309 00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,490 the Jackie Chan movie you've been wanting to see 310 00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:30,200 because I knew you'd need a little pick-me-up. 311 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,370 -Shanghai Noon. -Mm-hmm. 312 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,250 He's in the old west in this one. 313 00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:37,460 And then I went by that deli 314 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:38,750 and got you that soup that you like 315 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,380 because I knew your mouth would hurt. 316 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:41,590 If you don't believe me, it's in the refrigerator 317 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:42,380 over there. 318 00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:43,720 No, I--I believe you. 319 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,090 Yeah, you know what, Doug? 320 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,720 If you put this much energy into thinking about me 321 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:50,310 once in a while that you put into trying to catch me, 322 00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:52,310 you'd avoid the kind of humiliation 323 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:55,020 you're feeling right now. 324 00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:57,480 -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. -CARRIE: Yeah. 325 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,980 Well, I'm gonna get back to work. 326 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,980 I have my evaluation at 5:00. 327 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,110 -That's today? -Yeah. 328 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,160 Hey, good luck. 329 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,280 [**] 330 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,370 So I'm looking over the supply orders 331 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:11,450 for the past year, 332 00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:12,950 and I'm noticing that your invoices 333 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,080 are pretty high. 334 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,750 Oh, well, what can I tell ya? 335 00:13:15,790 --> 00:13:18,750 Highlighters, Post-Its, they're my weakness. 336 00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:22,340 [CHUCKLES] 337 00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:25,050 I buy extras so we don't run out. 338 00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:27,510 I see you haven't taken any of the legal research seminars 339 00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:29,850 that the firm offers on Saturday mornings. 340 00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:31,140 Well, no. 341 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,770 I have not done that. 342 00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:34,100 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 343 00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:36,020 Hello? 344 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:38,980 Could you hold on a second? 345 00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:41,110 It's your husband. 346 00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,690 Could you tell him I'll call him back? 347 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,740 I'm sorry. She'll have to call you back. 348 00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,910 He says he really needs to talk to you. 349 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,290 Thanks. 350 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:55,120 [CLEARS THROAT] 351 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,620 Hello? What's going on, Doug? 352 00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:01,090 DOUG [SING-SONG]: *I'm thinking of you* 353 00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:02,960 Okay, thank you. 354 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,130 Gotta run. 355 00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:05,550 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 356 00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:08,510 Look, I just wanna say I'm sorry about everything before, 357 00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:11,100 and I know you're gonna do great on your evaluation. 358 00:14:11,140 --> 00:14:12,720 Hey, if you get nervous, 359 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,810 just picture the guy dressed up like a big baby. 360 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:21,900 Actually, um, hon, 361 00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:24,980 I'm in my evaluation right now. 362 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,610 Oh, okay, well, I'll let ya go. 363 00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:28,280 Knock 'em dead and remember... 364 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:32,370 [SING-SONG] *I'm thinking of you* 365 00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:33,830 [TIRES SCREECH] 366 00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:36,290 -[CRASH] -Doug? 367 00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,300 Carrie! 368 00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,720 Carrie! 369 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,800 CARRIE: Coming! 370 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,350 This thing's giving me wet heat. 371 00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:56,560 The doctor said I'm supposed to have dry heat. 372 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,770 It is dry heat. 373 00:14:57,810 --> 00:15:00,440 You're sitting on a juice box. 374 00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,440 Ow. 375 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,110 Honey, why are you still trying to have this party? 376 00:15:05,150 --> 00:15:06,990 I mean, you were in a car accident. 377 00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:08,650 Why don't you just call the guys and cancel? 378 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,240 I can't. Then they'll all go to Barry's. 379 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,200 So? 380 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,660 So he hosts one successful party, 381 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:13,990 I'm out of the picture for good. 382 00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:17,500 The I.P.S. party scene is very cutthroat. 383 00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:19,000 Look, just help me out here, okay? 384 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,290 You're doing a beautiful job. 385 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:23,000 Fine. Fine. 386 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,670 Oh, oh. 387 00:15:24,710 --> 00:15:26,130 What? 388 00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:29,340 Nothing. It's just that those Doritos, they're Cool Ranch. 389 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:30,510 And...? 390 00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:33,470 And you already put out Nacho Cheese. 391 00:15:33,510 --> 00:15:36,680 Well, remember? I feature a different chip every quarter. 392 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,980 We went over this. 393 00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:41,900 You know what? Don't worry about it. 394 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:42,900 It's fine, it's fine. 395 00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:44,150 That's right. It is fine. 396 00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:46,440 All right, so, I got everything-- 397 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,860 the chips, the ice, 398 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:50,240 the sandwiches, the subs. 399 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,200 Anything else? 400 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,200 Nope. Everything else looks great. 401 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,530 Now just zip the big screen on in here, 402 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,870 and we're good to go. 403 00:15:57,910 --> 00:15:59,870 What? By myself? 404 00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:02,120 The thing weighs, like, 1,000 pounds. 405 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,290 It's on wheels. It's like pushing a shopping cart. 406 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,590 Doug, you have a bunch of guys coming over here, 407 00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:08,590 one of whom is Lou Ferrigno, 408 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:11,050 the world's strongest man. 409 00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:12,930 Excuse me. Being strong is his job. 410 00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:14,010 You don't ask a heart surgeon 411 00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:16,760 to open you up on his day off. 412 00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:20,600 DOUG: What's happening? 413 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,060 It's stuck. It's too heavy. 414 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,440 You know what? You're not gonna move it 415 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,520 like that. 416 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:26,610 You gotta get lower. 417 00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:28,820 You gotta push with your legs. 418 00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:29,940 Well, hello. 419 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:31,280 I see somebody wore their lucky 420 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,950 Super Bowl thong. 421 00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:35,990 All right, you know what'd help me move this TV? 422 00:16:36,030 --> 00:16:39,830 If you would shut your Doritos chute. 423 00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:41,160 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 424 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,580 Not sure why I'm catching so much attitude. 425 00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,120 Remember, I only hurt my back 426 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,830 'cause I called to say I was thinking of you. 427 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,670 And once again, very sweet, 428 00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:49,880 but here's a little tip. 429 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,130 Next time you think of me, pull over. 430 00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:54,590 Oh! Are you kiddin'? Are you trying to say 431 00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:56,010 all this is my fault? 432 00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,720 Oh, you know, so sorry I was trying to put you 433 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,100 in a good place for your evaluation. 434 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:00,850 Oh, yeah. Really put me in a good place 435 00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:02,680 when I heard the crunching of metal 436 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:03,940 and the phone going dead. 437 00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,440 Really, really took the edge off. 438 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,980 You know what, none of this would have happened 439 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:08,270 in the first place if you hadn't freaked out 440 00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:10,530 'cause I don't think about you 24-7. 441 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:12,110 Oh, okay. I'm sorry. 442 00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:14,240 In the future, I'll just go to Lou Ferrigno 443 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,950 for all my emotional needs. 444 00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:20,290 Oh, you just love your Lou Ferrigno, don't ya? 445 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,000 You know what? Maybe when he comes over here, 446 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,960 you guys can go off alone and hold each other. 447 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,170 "Oh, how was your day?" "How was your day?" 448 00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:29,210 "Oh, they were mean to me at work." 449 00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,800 "Somebody dropped a dumbbell on my toe." 450 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,800 Okay, that's it. Have a great party. Good-bye. 451 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,880 Wait, Car! Where ya going?! 452 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,430 -What about my TV?! -[DOOR SLAMS] 453 00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:40,180 Ow. 454 00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:44,140 Aah! 455 00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:45,940 Oh, my-- 456 00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:51,020 Ohh! 457 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,240 [MUTTERING] 458 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,570 Ohh! 459 00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:57,660 [STRAINING] All right. 460 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,160 Oh, my God. 461 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,990 Ohh. 462 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,370 Oh, God. 463 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,080 Ugh. 464 00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:13,590 You didn't unplug it! 465 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,560 [SUPER BOWL PLAYING ON TV] 466 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,060 What just happened? 467 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,810 Well, the gray team intercepted the ball 468 00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:29,230 from the slightly less gray team. 469 00:18:29,270 --> 00:18:30,650 Come on. It's black and white. 470 00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,520 We're kickin' it old school. 471 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,780 Oh, and by the way, guys, 472 00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,690 we're 3 minutes away from a new chip coming out. 473 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:39,780 Chip change! Chip change! 474 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:40,950 Nice haunted house, man. 475 00:18:40,990 --> 00:18:42,370 I walk in, and my kids are playing 476 00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:44,910 with jumper cables and an open can of turpentine. 477 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,290 I gotta tell ya, sounds pretty scary to me. 478 00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:49,040 Yeah. I'm going to Barry's. 479 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,460 Oh, Deac, come on, man. 480 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,420 Whoo, I thought he'd never leave, huh? 481 00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:56,210 I mean, who brings kids to a Super Bowl party? 482 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,590 Loser! 483 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,260 You know, if we leave now, 484 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,600 we can get to Barry's by the second quarter. 485 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,060 Let's go. 486 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,310 We're going to Barry's. 487 00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:08,770 Oh, oh, come on! 488 00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,850 See ya later, Doug. 489 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,110 All right, fine. Leave, 490 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,860 but know this. You walk out now, 491 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,900 it's a lifetime ban, my friends, 492 00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:19,450 and that includes my Stanley Cup sleep-over. 493 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,790 Just go! 494 00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:31,830 Are you sure? 495 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,960 Yes. 496 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,090 Feel better, buddy. 497 00:19:36,380 --> 00:19:39,720 Oh, by the way, how did Carrie's evaluation go? 498 00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:42,430 It was fine. 499 00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:44,640 I'm glad. 500 00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:52,940 Hey, where did everybody go? 501 00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:54,270 They left. 502 00:19:54,310 --> 00:19:56,940 If I could walk, I'd go to Barry's, too. 503 00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:59,650 Oh, they didn't stay long. 504 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,950 They weren't shy about eating, though. 505 00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:05,990 Oh, man, they ate all the mini eggrolls. 506 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:09,290 Actually, there are 3 left. 507 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,870 I know you like 'em, so I... 508 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,090 put 'em aside for you. 509 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:18,090 You did? That was sweet. 510 00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:19,960 Where are they? 511 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,630 I got 'em right here. I've been keeping 'em-- 512 00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:26,550 I've been keeping 'em warm next to my body 513 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,520 like a mother hen. 514 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,480 Dipping sauce. 515 00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:42,820 You did save these for me, right? 516 00:20:42,860 --> 00:20:44,490 Oh, yeah, yeah. 517 00:20:44,530 --> 00:20:48,330 I mean, I put 3 aside 'cause I couldn't quite remember 518 00:20:48,370 --> 00:20:50,160 exactly how many you like to eat, 519 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,290 whether it was three or one. 520 00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:03,260 I'm gonna get a drink. 521 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,720 Wait, don't bother. 522 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,390 Here ya go. 523 00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:19,480 Hey, man. You ready to go to lunch? 524 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,570 Yeah, just give me a second, I'm trying to set aside 525 00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:24,110 a little time every day to think about Carrie. 526 00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:27,660 And you can't do that in the truck? 527 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,830 Just give me a sec. 528 00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:39,090 * You are always on my mind * 529 00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:43,130 * You are always on my mind * 530 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:52,470 * You are always on my mind * 531 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:59,020 * You are always on my mind * 532 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:05,700 [**] 37474

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