Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:04,370
* My eyes aregettin' weary*
2
00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:07,130
*My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,170 --> 00:00:08,800
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,880
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
5
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:17,390
*But I don't care,'cause all I wanna do*
6
00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:21,310
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
7
00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:25,020
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
8
00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:29,150
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,530
MARV ALBERT [OVER TV]:
Good pressure defense,
10
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:39,580
back out to the topof the key, yes!
11
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:42,870
How great is Marv Albert's
"Yes!"?
12
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,370
Classic.
13
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:45,870
You think he had that
since he was a kid?
14
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,540
You know, like, "Marvin,
did you make in the potty?"
15
00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:52,510
[IMITATING MARV]
"Yes! And it counts!"
16
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,470
So where's Carrie tonight?
17
00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:56,800
Firm's having
this big party
18
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,220
because
they won some case.
19
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,310
Ooh, so she's working late
with the boss man?
20
00:01:00,350 --> 00:01:02,390
*Bom boka chicka ba-kow*
21
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,190
*Caboka yeow ow*
22
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:06,440
What is that?
23
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,560
-It's porno music.
-Oh.
24
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,070
I thought it was the
Starsky and Hutchtheme.
25
00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:13,900
It's clearly
porno music.
26
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,030
[SINGING]
27
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,740
That's right.
*Bom--*
28
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:19,870
Aah! Getting
nauseous!
29
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:22,240
Oh, I gotta run. I gotta pick up
the kids at Kelly's.
30
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,950
Can't they wait 10 minutes?
Come on. We got a tie game here.
31
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,910
Nah. It takes me forever to
find a place to park there.
32
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,250
I got a damn ticket when
I dropped them off this morning.
33
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,420
Hey, Arthur.
Have a good one.
34
00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:34,920
You may not want to rush
out of here just yet.
35
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,050
I have an enticing
proposition for you
36
00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:39,680
vis-à-vis
your parking ticket.
37
00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:42,260
What?
38
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:43,770
I have a pal
named Smitty.
39
00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:46,060
We were kosher slaughterers
back in the fifties,
40
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:48,770
the heyday
of kosher meats.
41
00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:49,940
Uh-huh.
42
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:52,940
One day, Smitty
got cute with an axe.
43
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:56,150
Thanks to me,
he still has his thumbs.
44
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,280
No pinkies, though.
45
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,160
Right. My kids are
waiting for me, so--
46
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,450
Smitty works down at
the parking bureau now.
47
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,500
He'll fix
any ticket for me.
48
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:10,040
I appreciate the gesture,
but no, thanks.
49
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,580
Clean out
your ears, fella!
50
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,960
I can make this
whole thing go away!
51
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,050
All right.
Knock yourself out.
52
00:02:16,090 --> 00:02:18,510
I wasn't gonna pay
the thing anyway.
53
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,100
Hello!
54
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,510
Oh, somebody's
in a good mood.
55
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,850
That's because somebody
won a big, fat prize
56
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:27,180
at the party raffle.
57
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,600
For the next month,
58
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:32,730
we get 4 company seats
to the Knicks.
59
00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:34,690
-Yeah!
-Aah!
60
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:35,820
No way!
61
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:38,900
[SCREAMING AND LAUGHING]
62
00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:41,870
-Stop!
-Ohhhh!
63
00:02:41,910 --> 00:02:43,780
-Wa-hoo!
-Look,
64
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,000
this is awkward.
I'm sorry, you guys,
65
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,580
but Doug and I are going
to be taking another couple.
66
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:53,130
-What? Who?
-I don't know yet, but not them.
67
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:56,210
Come on!
We're delightful!
68
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:59,630
Doug, I need a girl
there, okay?
69
00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:01,630
While you and the other guy
are talking about the game,
70
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,640
we could be talking about
which gorgeous black man
71
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,680
fills out
his shorts better.
72
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:09,930
Come on, Car!
73
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:12,980
I don't want to go
to the Knick game
74
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:14,980
with a couple
I've never met before.
75
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,110
I hate people
I don't know.
76
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,650
Doug, these are my tickets
and I decide.
77
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:22,410
Now, keep bitchin',
I may not even take you.
78
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:26,200
You know, winning this raffle
has really changed you.
79
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:30,210
Oh, I know. I'll take Elly from
spinning class and her husband.
80
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:32,580
I don't know them, okay?
81
00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:35,380
Elly's great, and she told me
her husband's a sports nut.
82
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:36,880
You'll love 'em.
83
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:43,340
Ha! You might be right,
but in his defense,
84
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,140
those are
very baggy shorts.
85
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:47,060
Well, number 28's
shorts are baggy,
86
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,600
and it
ain't hurtin' him.
87
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,390
[LAUGHS]
88
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:54,400
Back in my day, they used
a 2-handed set shot.
89
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,690
Now,
that was basketball.
90
00:03:57,650 --> 00:03:59,230
Did you ever see
Stretch Maloney
91
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,900
play for the old
St. Louis Bombers?
92
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,490
I don't
believe I did, no.
93
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,120
How you doing, hon?
94
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,700
[GRUNTS]
Okay.
95
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:14,080
Think about grabbin'
some food after this?
96
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,710
Ah, you know,
we don't have to.
97
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:18,380
Uh, I'm sure you got an early
day at work tomorrow, so, uh...
98
00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:21,760
-No, I'm retired.
-Heh, of course you are.
99
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,760
Okay, bye, you guys!
We had a great time!
100
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,800
-See ya!
-Bye!
101
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,310
I didn't know, okay?
102
00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,350
In all the times
you were spinning,
103
00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:33,980
she never once said,
"Hey, great workout.
104
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:37,480
By the way, my husband,
a billion years old."
105
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,780
I don't think it's a big deal.
I really don't.
106
00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:42,320
Of course you don't.
Because you're not the one
107
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,030
who had to remind him
where he was
108
00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:46,950
after he woke up
from his nap!
109
00:04:46,990 --> 00:04:49,780
Doug, you are just rejecting him
because he's old.
110
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:52,790
That's called ageism,
and it's illegal.
111
00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:56,330
I oughta punch you
square in the mouth.
112
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:57,880
I understand if you want
to do the couple thing,
113
00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,960
but we got to find a couple
that works for both of us, okay?
114
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,010
And right now, Grandpa Munster
ain't getting it done!
115
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,470
OK, I'm open
to suggestions,
116
00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:08,300
and don't say
Danny and Spence.
117
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,100
-Danny and Deacon.
-No.
118
00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:13,390
Okay, then, hey, how about
Eddie, you know, from work?
119
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,640
-He's got a girlfriend.
-Okay. I like Eddie.
120
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,350
What do we know
about the girlfriend?
121
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,690
I know she has
all her own heart valves.
122
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:29,740
Hello. I'd like
to see Smitty, please.
123
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:30,990
Smitty?
124
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,410
Medium build,
brown hair?
125
00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:36,750
No pinkies?
126
00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:38,750
Oh, Nubsy.
127
00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:40,880
He hasn't been here
in, like, 5 years.
128
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,300
Mmm, that's too bad.
129
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:44,670
He used to handle
my tickets for me.
130
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,220
-[SIGHS]
-Oh, well. I suppose the baton
131
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:48,840
shall pass
to a new generation.
132
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:53,100
Now, make like Houdini and get
this ticket to disappear.
133
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,600
-I'm sorry. I can't.
-Look,
134
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,690
I told my friend
I would make this go away.
135
00:05:57,730 --> 00:06:01,520
Don't make me slink back to him
with my tail between my legs.
136
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,070
Sir, there's really
nothing I can do.
137
00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:09,860
Perhaps a visit
138
00:06:09,910 --> 00:06:15,830
from Mr. Abraham Lincoln
would change your mind?
139
00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:19,790
-I don't think so.
-[SIGHS]
140
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:24,460
What if Mr. Jackson
came along for the ride?
141
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:28,130
Sir, for 2 more dollars,
you could just pay the ticket.
142
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:32,100
How about if only one
of the Washington twins
143
00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:33,640
showed up?
144
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,890
I'm gonna
need them both.
145
00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:37,560
Right-o.
146
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:43,860
EDDIE: Come on!
Play some defense!
147
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:46,820
My cleaning lady could
have blocked that shot!
148
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,450
[CROWD CHEERS]
149
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,950
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
150
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:54,240
Nice steal, man.
Hey, I think he heard you!
151
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:58,080
See, you treat 'em like dirt
and they do what you want.
152
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,670
You know, you're gonna
make a great dad someday.
153
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:04,590
I mean, the doctor told me
it was totally normal,
154
00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:09,220
but I don't know.
Are your breasts lopsided?
155
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,260
No.
156
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,550
[CHEERING]
157
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,390
Oh, Carrie, if you're
free tomorrow afternoon,
158
00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:20,730
you want to maybe
grab some coffee?
159
00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:22,650
Oh, I have a spinning class.
Sorry. Yeah.
160
00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:25,020
Good for you.
I should exercise more.
161
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,780
Do some stretching.
162
00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:30,650
Maybe then sex wouldn't be so
incredibly uncomfortable for me.
163
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,530
I'm tiny down there.
164
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,170
Let me
freshen you up there.
165
00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:47,340
Oh, my,
very generous.
166
00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:50,380
I hope you're not gonna try
to take advantage of me later.
167
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:52,510
Again, Arthur, no.
168
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,720
Hey, Deac.
169
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,680
Arthur! What brings you
to our little watering hole?
170
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,140
Fellas, say hello
to The Fixer.
171
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,060
He's drinking
on me tonight.
172
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,560
-What are you talking about?
-He fixed my parking ticket,
173
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,440
like magic. He's like--
he's like the Lucky Charms guy.
174
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,650
Tell him the story.
175
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:11,650
I merely gave it to my pal
Smitty downtown.
176
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:15,490
He ripped it up and threw it in
the air like so much confetti.
177
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,990
He's theatrical that way.
178
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,330
-[LAUGHTER]
-Wow.
179
00:08:18,370 --> 00:08:19,910
Hey, you know,
me and Spence get tickets
180
00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:21,620
in front
of our building all the time.
181
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,620
Don't worry about it, man.
From now on, just give them
182
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,380
to The Fixer here.
183
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,420
Really?
184
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:27,540
-Could we?
-Ah--
185
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,210
Are you kidding?
This guy's got the hookup.
186
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,970
He just feeds them to Smitty,
and they go away.
187
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:33,430
Right, Arthur?
188
00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:39,510
Park with impunity!
189
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:54,900
*I got a feelin'*
190
00:08:54,950 --> 00:08:58,910
*Everythingis gonna be all right*
191
00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:03,080
*Whoa, I got a feelin'*
192
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,500
*Everythingis gonna be all right*
193
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:11,170
*Whoa, whoa,I got a feelin'*
194
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:14,840
*Everythingis gonna be all right*
195
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,800
*Be all right,be all right*
196
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:22,970
*Be all right*
197
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,110
MAN [OVER TV]:On the attack,bringing the ball up court.
198
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,940
-Houston brings it down...
-EDDIE: Yes!
199
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,490
Ha ha ha!
200
00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:37,990
You know, we should
actually go to the park
201
00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:39,990
and play hoop sometime.
202
00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:43,290
I'm gonna level with you.
I'm winded from this.
203
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,000
Ah, you know what?
I gotta run.
204
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,790
Just gotta make
a pit stop first.
205
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,500
MAN [OVER TV]:
They have 90--
206
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:51,630
[SHUTS GAME OFF]
207
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:52,750
-Hey.
-Hey.
208
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,300
-Hey, Doug.
-Hey, Elly.
209
00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:56,050
All right,
I gotta get going.
210
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,970
Car, can I just fill up
my water bottle?
211
00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,680
CARRIE: Yeah.
Right in there.
212
00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:02,470
Hmm.
213
00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,020
Elly's filling up
her water bottle,
214
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,890
and Eddie's
peeing upstairs.
215
00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,980
It's the circle
of life.
216
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,690
Hey, I got Knick tickets
for Friday.
217
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,770
What do you say we give Elly
and Stuart another shot, huh?
218
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,280
Oldie? Not a chance.
Hey, let's--
219
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:15,690
let's ask Eddie
and Simone.
220
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,490
What? Do you think
that couple worked for me?
221
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:22,330
I'm not spending another 3 hours
with--with Lopsidey.
222
00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:25,500
OK, that is a really
dumb nickname.
223
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:28,460
OK, would you prefer
Tiny Giny?
224
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,010
I think I would.
225
00:10:36,050 --> 00:10:37,720
Well, I'm asking Elly.
226
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,930
-I'm--well, I'm asking Eddie.
-Don't you dare.
227
00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,680
-D-don't you dare me.
-Hey! Hey!
228
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,180
You and Stuart wanna go
to the Knicks on Friday?
229
00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:46,680
Oh, I would love to,
but we can't.
230
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,520
Stuart's away at his
50th high school reunion.
231
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,100
Aww.
232
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:54,400
Hey, Eddie, Eddie. You
and Simone busy Friday night?
233
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,280
You wanna go
to the Knick game?
234
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,950
Oh, sorry, man. She's gonna
be out of town for a work thing.
235
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,240
Aww.
236
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,200
Hey. I'm Eddie.
237
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,450
Hey. I'm Elly.
Nice to meet you.
238
00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:15,590
[CHEERING]
239
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,060
There's no way I can pay
all these tickets.
240
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,810
The boys are gonna
find out I'm a fraud.
241
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,360
It's over. Over!
242
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:39,240
Smitty's still gonna take care
of my ticket, right?
243
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:45,280
There is no Smitty,
you crazy old man!
244
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:50,210
Curse the day I ever met
that 8-fingered freak.
245
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,790
What-what if
I called Smitty myself?
246
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:57,130
Shut up!
247
00:11:58,880 --> 00:11:59,960
Great night.
248
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,300
Fantastic.
249
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:03,430
We finally find
the perfect couple,
250
00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,430
and they're not
even a couple.
251
00:12:05,470 --> 00:12:08,180
I know. I mean,
it was incredible.
252
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:11,430
Me and him, you and her,
me and her! You and him!
253
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,270
It was working
from every angle!
254
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:17,150
I mean, why can't Eddie
and Elly just be a couple?
255
00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:18,780
We could do everything
with them.
256
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,440
Movies, barbecues.
257
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,280
Vermont. We've always wanted
to go to Vermont.
258
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,620
They would be phenomenal
in Vermont.
259
00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:29,490
I can't believe they're attached
to other people.
260
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:32,620
-It sucks.
-Cupid really botched this one.
261
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:35,880
Swing and a miss
for the naked baby.
262
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,090
How sweet
would it be
263
00:12:39,130 --> 00:12:42,300
if Oldie and Tiny were out
of the picture?
264
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:45,300
Then we could just put Eddie
and Elly together.
265
00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:47,430
Hey, maybe we can
sit down with all of them
266
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:50,680
and very politely ask them
to switch partners.
267
00:12:52,180 --> 00:12:55,270
Or we can cut Oldie
and Tiny's brakes,
268
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:57,360
like they do
in the movies.
269
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,650
That's good, but I don't
fit under cars anymore.
270
00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:02,360
All right,
let's just stop this.
271
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,490
We're just
torturing ourselves.
272
00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:05,990
You're right,
you're right.
273
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:08,240
Eddie and Elly
are not together,
274
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,160
and they
never will be.
275
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,370
We just need to forget
tonight ever happened.
276
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,830
[HOARSE WHISPER]
I can't.
277
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,970
-Thank you, Mr. Spooner.
-No, thank you.
278
00:13:27,010 --> 00:13:28,090
Now, please make
the check out
279
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,010
to the Parking
Violations Bureau.
280
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,520
Oh, we don't pay people
for their blood anymore.
281
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,810
What?
282
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:37,600
Only the less reputable
places still pay cash.
283
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,730
Uh-huh.
284
00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:40,650
I'd like my blood
back, please.
285
00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:42,400
-What?
-You heard me.
286
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,570
Pump it back in.
287
00:13:43,610 --> 00:13:45,400
I'm taking
my business elsewhere.
288
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,240
I can't pump
your blood back in.
289
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,370
You were gonna pump it
into someone else, right?
290
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:52,240
-Yes.
-Well, meet someone else.
291
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,750
Sorry.
292
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,620
[DEEP SIGH]
293
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:11,970
[ELECTRO POP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS WITHIN]
294
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,770
I had a great time
the other night
295
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:16,640
with you guys
and Eddie.
296
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,980
Oh, we did, too.
Great time.
297
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,650
Actually, it was
just what I needed.
298
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,900
Huh?
299
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:26,860
-Well, can I tell you something?
-Sure.
300
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,200
Things aren't going that well
between me and Stuart.
301
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,030
Well--well,
what do you mean?
302
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,950
Oh, don't get me wrong.
He's great.
303
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,540
Really. It's just
a lot of stuff.
304
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:41,000
I mean, the age difference
and, uh...
305
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:42,790
You know what?
306
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,880
I'm overreacting.
307
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,090
Forget it.
Everything's fine.
308
00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:47,800
No, no--hey, slow down
there, girly-girl.
309
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:49,930
Let's talk.
310
00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:58,640
What--what's with you?
311
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,310
I did it, Doug.
312
00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:01,480
Did what?
313
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,810
I don't know
how it started,
314
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,360
but--but--but
she said something
315
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,570
about things not going well
with her and Stuart,
316
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:07,940
you know, like,
he's old and everything.
317
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,240
And before I knew it,
I said, "Yeah,
318
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,030
and what if you guys
dowanna have kids--"
319
00:15:12,070 --> 00:15:13,700
I just thought of that one
right there on the spot--
320
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:16,160
and she said, "Yeah,"
321
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,500
that ithasbeen an issue,
and then I said, "Well,
322
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,670
hey, maybe you guys should
think about takin' a break,"
323
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:22,000
and now--and she said, "Yeah,"
324
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,750
and now they're separating.
Ha ha-- [GASPS]
325
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:27,960
-What?!
-I'm hungry, Doug!
326
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,380
Come on, let's go
get some steaks, baby.
327
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:30,880
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
328
00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,090
You broke up a marriage?!
329
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:35,180
It was headed there anyway.
Now all you gotta do
330
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:38,020
-is break up Eddie and Tiny.
-What?!
331
00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:40,350
What "what"? This is exactly
what we talked about!
332
00:15:40,390 --> 00:15:41,940
Yeah, we also talked
about cutting their brakes.
333
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,650
You wanna do that, too?
334
00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:45,690
We don't have to do
that now, ya doof.
335
00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:47,110
Hello?
336
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,030
Oh, my God,
you are terrifying.
337
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:53,030
Kids are gonna start wearing
you as a Halloween mask!
338
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:55,740
Doug! Doug,
we're halfway there.
339
00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,200
I broke up a marriage.
All you gotta do
340
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,950
is break up a boyfriend
and a girlfriend.
341
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,540
I could do that
before breakfast.
342
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,750
No, no! I'm--
I'm not doin' it!
343
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:03,380
Doug, Vermont!
344
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,040
Think of Vermont.
345
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,210
Skiing...
346
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,920
just the 4 of us
relaxing in the hot tub?
347
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,050
I betcha they look
pretty when they're wet.
348
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:14,090
No, that is it!
End of story, okay?
349
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,270
Stop staring, devil woman!
350
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,730
I--I'm sorry I didn't
check in, Simone.
351
00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:30,280
Yeah, I just--I can't
call you every 10 minutes!
352
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,490
Yeah. I'm havin' a beer
with Doug.
353
00:16:34,490 --> 00:16:36,450
Oh, it's one beer, okay?
354
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:38,330
I'll see you at home.
355
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,700
[SIGHS]
356
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,960
Man, Simone is
all over me lately.
357
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,790
You know
what I'm all over?
358
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,840
Purple M & M's.
359
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,630
I fought 'em
for a while, but...
360
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:52,300
they won.
361
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,430
I mean,
she's pretty, but...
362
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,260
she's really needy!
363
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,810
You know, she's always asking
if I think
364
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,810
her boobs look normal.
365
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:06,310
"They look fine. Now,
can you put them back in?"
366
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,820
I just don't know.
What should I do here, Doug?
367
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,080
It's done.
368
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:46,900
Hey,
it's The Fixer!
369
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:50,020
-[ALL APPLAUSE]
-DANNY: Hey, Fixie! Hey!
370
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,070
Gentlemen, can I have
a moment of your time?
371
00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:58,110
Sure. Make some space
for The Fixer, boys.
372
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,660
There we go.
Right there.
373
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:00,660
Fellas,
374
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,740
these, uh,
past few weeks
375
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,660
we've
spent together,
376
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,670
they've meant
the world to me,
377
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,000
but the truth is...
378
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:11,250
[SIGHS]
379
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:16,970
The truth is...
380
00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:20,970
It's an honor
to fix your tickets!
381
00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,390
[ALL LAUGHING]
382
00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:23,390
Fixie!
383
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,430
Fixie!
384
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:25,680
F-F-Fixie!
385
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,020
-ALL: Hey!
-DEACON: F-F-Fixie!
386
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,440
The Doctor!
Fixie!
387
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,690
Hey! Fixie! Fixie!
388
00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:32,480
Aw, sweet!
389
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,610
[WOMAN SINGING OPERA ARIA]
390
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:17,940
[**]
391
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:21,490
[CHEERING]
392
00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:27,370
Great game,
huh, honey?
393
00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,500
What's your problem?
394
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:32,250
They're my problem.
395
00:19:32,290 --> 00:19:34,170
What? Well, look at them.
They're perfect!
396
00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:35,630
We made
a beautiful match.
397
00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:37,590
No, we took 4 innocent people
into the lab
398
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:39,970
and built ourselves
a Franken-couple.
399
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,510
Just stop it!
400
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,720
Hey, uh, are you guys
okay over there?
401
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,220
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all good
over here. No problems.
402
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,100
Yeah, it's all good.
We're fine.
403
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:50,770
We--we got what we want,
and, clearly,
404
00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:53,440
that's all that
really matters.
405
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,860
Oh, just Diet Coke
for me, baby. Thanks.
406
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,400
Mm-wah.
407
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:01,280
What is up
with Doug?
408
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,490
I don't know. He's been actin'
like a real tool lately.
409
00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:07,120
I don't get it.
What does Carrie see in him?
410
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,540
I don't know.
[LAUGHS]
411
00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:10,960
[CROWD GROANS]
412
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,750
Jeff!
413
00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:14,580
Oh, my God! Eddie!
How ya doin'?
414
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,840
Great! Wow, it's
been a few years, huh?
415
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,170
How'd you score
these seats?
416
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,550
Oh, uh, we got them
from our friend Carrie.
417
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:22,840
Ooh, she's cute.
418
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,430
What's
her situation?
419
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,720
Well...
420
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:33,190
She's with someone,
but they seem
421
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,560
to fight a lot lately.
422
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:38,940
Uh, Carrie?
423
00:20:38,980 --> 00:20:40,780
Meet Jeff.
424
00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:42,450
Hello.
425
00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:57,750
-Hi.
-Hi.
426
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,750
Oh, I'm sorry. I--
I didn't mean to stare,
427
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,720
but you just look so lovely
in that sweater.
428
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:04,880
Really?
429
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:08,180
'Cause it--it's hard
for me to shop.
430
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,600
I'm a little uneven
on top.
431
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,690
Well, you look
perfect to me.
432
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,650
[**]
31228
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof