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1
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,380
[**]
2
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:13,550
Doug!
3
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,180
I'm here. I'm ready.
4
00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:17,430
Where's the blanket?
5
00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:19,060
-What?
-I just yelled up
6
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,680
for you to bring
down a blanket.
7
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,560
Oh, I couldn't
understand you...
8
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,560
but whatever you wanted,
I was just hoping
it would blow over.
9
00:00:25,770 --> 00:00:27,060
Well, it hasn't.
10
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,820
We are seeing
a movie in the park,
11
00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:31,150
and I would prefer
a layer of protection
12
00:00:31,190 --> 00:00:35,360
between me and whatever
the police horse just left.
13
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,780
Oh, it's not bad enough
14
00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:38,160
we got to go out with Spence
and his new girlfriend,
15
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,870
we got to go see
a movie in a park?
16
00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:42,700
Doug, I think it's great
that he finally has a date.
17
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:44,460
Come on.
You have to be supportive.
18
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,250
-He is your friend.
-DOUG: Yeah, but he's...
19
00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:48,540
he's not a double-date friend.
He's...
20
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,710
he's the third wheel.
21
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,210
He's the one
who watches the coats
22
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,300
when the rest of us
are out dancing.
23
00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,180
Well, tonight,
he has a date,
24
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:59,550
and we have to leave
in five minutes.
25
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,430
So, you, uh, still
on this blanket kick or--
26
00:01:02,470 --> 00:01:04,100
Yes! Go!
27
00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:09,190
-[MICROWAVE OVEN BEEPING]
-Dad, your dinner's ready!
28
00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:10,730
Great. I worked up
quite an appetite
29
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:13,900
at my movement
to music class.
30
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,240
Bring on
the victuals.
31
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,620
-Here you go.
-[SIGHS]
32
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:21,240
A meal in a tray--
thank you, stewardess.
33
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,500
When do we land?
34
00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:25,410
I'm sorry, Dad.
I didn't have time
35
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,580
-to make you a whole thing.
-Probably for the best
36
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,790
based on last night's
pink chicken scare.
37
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,180
What are you doing?
38
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:38,760
What? You wanted
a blanket.
39
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,850
That is the comforter
from our bed.
40
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,600
Why do you always
give me jobs
41
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,390
where you know
I'm gonna fail?
42
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,770
So what movie
we seeing, anyway?
43
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:51,770
Casablanca.
44
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,650
[SIGHS] A black and white movie?
45
00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:55,900
It's a great movie.
Dad, back me up here.
46
00:01:55,940 --> 00:01:57,280
Casablanca...
47
00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,610
never saw it.
48
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:01,200
You must have.
49
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,910
Humphrey Bogart
owns a cafe.
50
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,580
Ingrid Bergman
walks back into--
51
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,700
Don't ruin it for me!
52
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:09,710
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
53
00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,460
MAN [OVER TV]:Sorry I was inno condition to receive you
54
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,790
when you calledon me last night.
55
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,630
WOMAN [OVER TV]:
Doesn't matter.
56
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:15,920
MAN [OVER TV]:Now, forspecial friends of Rick's,
57
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,300
we have a specialdiscount.
58
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:18,430
What is the matter
with you?
59
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,550
I got to keep shifting.
60
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:21,430
My ass is so asleep,
it's dreaming.
61
00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:25,430
Isn't this cool?
62
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:28,890
You got Bogart,
great outdoors...
63
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,310
-and this pretty lady.
-[LAUGHS]
64
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:33,900
-Isn't he cute?
-He is.
65
00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:38,360
Yeah, he's like
a little bobblehead doll
of himself.
66
00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:40,410
[LAUGHS]
67
00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:43,240
Hey, anybody hungry?
I made some stuff.
68
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,790
Uh... mango spring rolls.
69
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:49,370
Mm-hmm, and cider-basted
spare ribs...
70
00:02:49,410 --> 00:02:51,540
-for you.
-Wow, Becky,
71
00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:52,880
you made all this
for the movie?
72
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:54,500
Oh, it was no trouble.
73
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:56,380
Well, you put me to shame.
All I have is a cloret
74
00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:59,630
and some
old birth-control pills.
75
00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:01,510
Mangia. [LAUGHS]
76
00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:03,470
Don't worry. I go
to the culinary institute,
77
00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:06,390
so this is a project
for one of my classes.
78
00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:07,560
Well, feel free
to tell the teacher
79
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,350
thatDougate
your homework.
80
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,860
Oh, what is this?
81
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:19,900
Oh, it's a shrimp
and chive quesadilla
82
00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:22,860
with salsa
and chili sour cream.
83
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:23,910
[LAUGHS]
84
00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:25,240
[HOARSELY] Really?
85
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,620
You like it?
86
00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:29,790
Like it? I got
a chunk in my teeth
87
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,460
I'm saving
for the ride home.
88
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,380
[LAUGHS]
89
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,540
Really? You're so nice.
90
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,590
[LAUGHING]
91
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:41,260
Why are you
picking out the chives?
92
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:44,590
Because they aggravate
my Patamkin-Reese syndrome.
93
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,390
-DOUG: Mmm!
-What? What? What?
94
00:03:47,430 --> 00:03:48,720
What are
these crispy nuggets,
95
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:49,890
and why aren't they
in every vending machine
96
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,480
across the country?
97
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,440
[LAUGHING] Here. Try them
with the dipping sauces.
98
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,310
-What have you got?
-I got honey-mustard and,
don't laugh...
99
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,730
chocolate.
100
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,280
Don't you laugh
when I dip one nugget
in both.
101
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,490
[LAUGHS]
102
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:04,610
[AS TIME GOES BYPLAYING]
103
00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:24,430
Oh, you got
Casablanca!
104
00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:26,090
It's marvelous.
105
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:30,100
Bogart chooses the
greater good over
his own desires.
106
00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:31,390
Quite an uplifting
message.
107
00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:33,940
I know.
It's a classic.
108
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,190
Personally, I would have turned
the other guy in,
109
00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:38,820
taken Ingrid Bergman back
to the hotel,
110
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,320
and rounded up
her "usual suspects,"
111
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,820
if you know what I mean.
112
00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:48,740
I do, which is why
I just brought up
a little muffin.
113
00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:50,870
Actually, while
I was at the video store,
114
00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:52,290
another box caught my eye.
115
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:56,420
Some kind
of a holiday picture.
116
00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:58,710
It's a Wonderful Life?
117
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:01,420
Who knows? Maybe I discovered
a hidden gem.
118
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:03,470
Keep me posted.
119
00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:07,390
[CLEARS THROAT]
120
00:05:07,430 --> 00:05:09,470
-Hey, honey.
-Hi.
121
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,140
You want to order
some takeout?
122
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,430
Nah, I'm not really hungry.
123
00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:15,230
Seriously. Where do you
want to order from?
124
00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:17,190
Nah, I'm not... I'm not hungry.
I was over at Spence's,
125
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,480
and Becky made me these
incredible grilled scallops
126
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,520
with bacon.
127
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,150
Bacon!
128
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,530
Well, why
didn't you tell me
129
00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:26,820
you were having dinner
over there?
130
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,160
I've been waiting
for you.
131
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,870
I wasn't planning on it.
I just stopped by,
132
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,950
and she asked me my opinion
on a few of her recipes.
133
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,540
I actually brought
a couple scallops
back for you...
134
00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:35,830
but there was a very long line
at northern boulevard...
135
00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:39,130
and they went away.
136
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:41,880
Well, you took them
as far as you could, hon.
137
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,090
Get this. She asked me
if I'd do this for her,
138
00:05:43,130 --> 00:05:44,800
-like, twice a week.
-What do you mean?
139
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,050
Like, just go over there
and eat?
140
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:49,180
-Yeah.
-Well...
141
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,050
why can't Spence
just help her?
142
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,260
Because he's allergic
to everything.
143
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,430
The guy's, like,
one sesame seed away
144
00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:55,390
from living
in a plastic bubble.
145
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:02,070
Okay, well,
if that's what
you want to do.
146
00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:03,440
What? What's the matter?
147
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,490
I just don't think
with your 4-digit cholestrol
148
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:06,860
that eating professionally
149
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,410
is the best move
for you right now.
150
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,490
-Come on, Carr.
-I'm serious.
151
00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:14,910
So am I. Look, I've eaten
a lot of food in my day...
152
00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:17,210
cooked by a lot
of different people,
153
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:20,460
and I got to tell you...
this kid's got it.
154
00:06:22,210 --> 00:06:24,090
Carrie, let me be
part of this.
155
00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:27,340
Like Superman...
156
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:29,220
I was put here for a reason.
157
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:37,020
What are you cooking,
Becky?
158
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,440
You got Monterey Jack cheese
159
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,190
melting inside the burger?
160
00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:43,310
It's an inside-out
cheeseburger,
161
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,440
is that what
you're telling me?
162
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,030
Oh, God, does that
sound good.
163
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,280
Okay, let me just throw
this at you, okay?
164
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,280
Now, what if...
165
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,290
instead of fries,
166
00:06:56,330 --> 00:06:59,000
you went
with sweet-potato wedges?
167
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:06,050
Oh, stop. Stop. Hey!
Einstein was a genius.
[LAUGHS]
168
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:09,470
Oh, hey, hon.
169
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:11,050
Okay, so, I'll see you
Thursday.
170
00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:13,140
All right, bye.
171
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,260
Surprised you didn't
try to suck the food
172
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,350
through the phone line.
173
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,480
DOUG: Okay, look, before
you start copping attitude,
174
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,020
I'm going
to the gym again,
175
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:24,060
so with all the extra food,
it's a push.
176
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,900
This area right here
will remain unchanged.
177
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:29,530
That's my pledge to you.
178
00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:32,240
It's not just that,
Doug.
179
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,160
It's this whole...
thing with Becky.
180
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,490
Thing?
There isn't a thing.
181
00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:40,620
Oh, I think
there's a thing.
182
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,000
Hey, you're saying,
that I'm attracted to her
or something?
183
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,000
I don't know
what it is, Doug.
184
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,500
All I know is
you just spent a half-hour
on the phone with her.
185
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,670
[MOCKING] "You hang up."
186
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:51,380
"No, you hang up."
187
00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:54,010
Look, I am not interested
in Becky at all.
188
00:07:54,050 --> 00:07:55,640
We have one thing
in common. That's it.
189
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,510
-You're being ridiculous.
-I don't think I am.
190
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,310
Oh, so according to you,
it is somehow wrong for me
191
00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:01,430
to go to my friend's house
192
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,440
where his girlfriend
cooked me stuff.
193
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,020
Yeah.
194
00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:08,110
What is it then, Carrie?
195
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:10,400
Hey, you know what,
the 70-year-old dispatcher lady
at IPS made me brownies.
196
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,650
Should I just
march into her cage and go,
197
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,200
"You know what, Shantel,
it is over!"
198
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,950
The point is
199
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:20,580
I don't have
little relationships
200
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,370
with other men
where I'm talking
to them on the phone,
201
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,210
hanging out with them
because we have stuff
in common
202
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:27,040
because I know
it would bother you.
203
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,590
[SCOFFS]
Well, you know what?
It absolutely wouldn't.
204
00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:31,380
No? No? Because
there's a partner
at my work
205
00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:33,510
who keeps asking me
to go jogging with him
in the morning.
206
00:08:33,550 --> 00:08:35,010
He's one of
the younger partners,
207
00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:37,300
you know,
on his way up...
208
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,560
so I guess it would be fine
with you if I did that?
209
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,470
-Yeah.
-Oh, good. Good.
210
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,140
I'm glad we had
this conversation,
211
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:47,060
because this opens up
a whole new world for me.
212
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,070
You know, they say
you actually burn
213
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:52,190
more calories speed-walking
than running.
214
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,490
Really?
215
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,410
[PANTING]
216
00:08:57,450 --> 00:09:00,160
-Spence?
-Oh, hey, Carrie.
217
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,040
Oh, I got to stop.
218
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,250
He owes me money.
219
00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:06,120
Well,
I'll circle around.
220
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,420
Oh, okay!
221
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,670
Here we go, Alan.
Come on. Here we go.
222
00:09:11,710 --> 00:09:13,130
Who was that?
223
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,130
He's one of the partners
from my law firm.
224
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,300
Listen, if Doug asks,
he's got a rock-hard ass,
okay?
225
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,220
Ooh, what's going on?
226
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,430
What's going on is,
227
00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:23,560
I'm jogging with
this putz every morning
228
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,480
because Doug is spending
all of his time
229
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,270
-with your girlfriend.
-Yeah, what is up with them?
230
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,770
-I don't know. You tell me.
-Well, they're so annoying.
231
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:31,730
You know, it's like,
"Ooh, Doug, taste this.
232
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,110
Doug, dip that.
233
00:09:33,150 --> 00:09:34,690
Spence, go get Doug
a shrimp fork."
234
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,650
Oh, I know!
And how about
235
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,740
that "incredible veal dish"
she makes, right?
236
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,490
-Not getting that.
-Thank you!
237
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:42,620
It's like ease the throttle
on the garlic, honey.
238
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:44,660
-It's pure showboating.
-I know!
239
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,790
You coming, Carrie?
240
00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:48,630
Oh. Yeah.
241
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:51,750
Just get me
my frigging money.
242
00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:58,010
[**]
243
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:15,280
Rock-hard ass!
244
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:20,200
No, honey, it's me.
245
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,040
Carrie, these jogs
are wiping you out.
246
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,250
You really don't need
to keep doing this
to prove a point.
247
00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:33,130
I am not doing this
to prove a point.
248
00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:36,510
I love the chill
of early morning.
249
00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:38,300
If hanging out with Becky
bothers you this much,
250
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:40,550
you know what?
It's not worth it.
251
00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:42,100
-Really?
-Yes.
252
00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,680
And you know what?
In fact, come with me.
253
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,390
Loving husband
in action.
254
00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:48,060
Here we go.
255
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:52,400
This is the kind of guy
you married right here.
256
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:58,150
[CLEARS THROAT]
It's her machine.
257
00:10:58,190 --> 00:11:00,070
Becky, hi. Yeah, it's Doug.
258
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:02,530
Listen, I'm not gonna
be able to come over
259
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:05,160
and do the food thing
anymore.
260
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,450
Yeah, I'm really busy
at work,
261
00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:08,750
and I got a lot of things
going on...
262
00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:12,540
so from now on
just send the food over
with Spence,
263
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:14,790
and I'll give him
my comments, okay?
264
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,800
All right, thank you.
Bye-bye.
265
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,130
See? Now everybody wins, okay?
266
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,300
I don't see her anymore,
267
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,800
and I still
get to eat her food.
268
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,140
Which reminds me...
269
00:11:24,180 --> 00:11:25,890
I got some
leftover pasta here.
270
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:28,810
This is great. Ahh.
271
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:30,350
Spaghetti and meatballs...
272
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,810
sounds boring,
doesn't it?
273
00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:34,560
Not when it's three
different-colored noodles.
274
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,110
Wshaa!
275
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:46,240
Mmm. It's incredible.
276
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:50,910
Okay, you know what?
Um...
277
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,340
this isn't gonna work
for me, either.
278
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,710
-What?
-Yeah.
279
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,840
I don't want you
eating her food.
280
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,260
I told you
I'm not attracted--
281
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,380
I'm not seeing her
anymore.
282
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:02,930
But you're
still involved.
283
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:04,300
With her spaghetti!
284
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,260
Even so!
285
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,850
I'm eating it!
I'm not sleeping with it!
286
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:10,310
It's food!
287
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,310
Exactly! It's like
you're having...
288
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:13,810
a food affair.
289
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:16,480
Eating is not
cheating!
290
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,610
Well,
it still bothers me.
291
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,940
Okay, fine.
You know what?
You win, okay?
292
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,530
You know what?
Well, she found us out,
293
00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:24,280
so I'm gonna
have to end it.
294
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,660
Yeah, oh, yeah.
I love you, spaghetti,
295
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,450
but you're
gonna have to go.
296
00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:29,740
Oh, just
one more kiss!
297
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,330
[SMOOCHING]
298
00:12:32,370 --> 00:12:33,870
Oh, daddy loves you.
299
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,960
Oh, yes, he does.
300
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,880
Now, go! Go! Go! Go!
301
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,800
Oh, God forgive me.
302
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,560
[AULD LANG SYNEPLAYING ON TV]
303
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,190
Oh,It's a WonderfulLife.
304
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:56,020
Pretty great, huh?
305
00:12:56,060 --> 00:13:01,690
Actually, I think this one's
a swing and a miss.
306
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,070
What are you
talking about?
307
00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:06,610
It's one of
the greatest movies
of all time.
308
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,240
Well, I don't get it.
309
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,160
With George Bailey,
the town couldn't be duller.
310
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,120
Without him,
there's nightclubs,
casinos.
311
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,290
It's fabulous.
312
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:20,710
I wish
he never had been born.
313
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,710
Well, that's
a fresh take on it.
314
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,720
By the way,
I was talking to Spence.
315
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,880
He was
recommending a film
316
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,350
about a young girl
from Kansas
317
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:32,140
who goes to some
magical land.
318
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,930
Have you heard
of it, darling?
319
00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:37,770
Good lord.
320
00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:39,730
Well, I understand
there are midgets in it,
321
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:42,070
and that spells "funny."
322
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:45,650
Anyway, I invited Spence
and his new ladyfriend over
323
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,780
to watch it with us
tomorrow night.
324
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,370
What? No.
325
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:50,620
What's the matter?
326
00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:53,040
Oh, I... I had
this big thing
327
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,750
with Doug
and Spence's girlfriend.
328
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,330
It's a long story,
but basically...
329
00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,340
he likes her spaghetti
too much.
330
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,300
I see, and, uh...
331
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:06,130
what is "spaghetti"
a euphemism for?
332
00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:10,100
No, Dad, he really
just likes her spaghetti.
333
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,680
Uh-huh...
334
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,770
and did you catch him
"liking her spaghetti"?
335
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:18,020
Dad, it's really
the food.
336
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:19,230
Becky's a great cook,
337
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:21,360
and Doug loves
what she makes.
338
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,730
Well, what's
wrong with that?
339
00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:24,650
I want him to like
what I make.
340
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:25,780
You know, like,
remember how mom
341
00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:27,070
used to make
those huge dinners
342
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:28,740
with the homemade
biscuits and gravy,
343
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,120
you'd be so happy.
344
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,700
Oh, sure, but your mother
was home all day.
345
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:33,950
You're a career woman.
346
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:36,710
Yeah, but even
if I wasn't,
I mean, I...
347
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,370
I'm not like mom
or Becky, you know.
348
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,830
I don't have it in me.
349
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,790
-I'm not a nurturer.
-Of course, you are.
350
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,670
Why, you've been
nothing but warm
and loving to me.
351
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:44,800
Oh, that's not true.
352
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,300
I make you sleep
in the basement.
353
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,010
I know.
354
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:50,180
I was just trying to
throw you abound.
355
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,760
Hey, man.
356
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:55,970
What's up?
357
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:13,910
That Tupperware
looks familiar.
358
00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:15,790
Is that...
is that Becky's?
359
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:17,330
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She made some stuff for me.
360
00:15:17,370 --> 00:15:19,250
Said she wanted
my opinion.
361
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:25,250
You know, I used to do that,
but, whatever.
362
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,500
Yeah, she said, uh,
you couldn't do it anymore.
363
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,340
Yeah, Carrie got
all psycho about it.
364
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,010
Oh, one man's
psycho wife
365
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:32,720
is another man's
turkey meatloaf.
366
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:38,390
And, oh...
367
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:42,060
sweet potato wedges.
Mmm.
368
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,440
Mmm!
369
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,270
Huh!
370
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,320
You know, she, uh...
371
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,740
she got that idea
from me...
372
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:53,870
but it was
a million years ago.
373
00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:57,160
Mmm! Mmm.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
374
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,250
You know, you just...
you just can't eat it.
375
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,120
You got to think
about it, you know?
376
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,870
You're supposed to give her
a professional opinion.
377
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,840
Yeah, well,
my professional opinion
is "damn!"
378
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,460
Okay, you know what?
This isn't right.
379
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,010
-What?
-This food
380
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,300
is supposed to be mine.
It's meant for me.
381
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:12,930
You see this label?
After the "D"
382
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:14,470
it should say
"OUG" not "EACON."
383
00:16:14,510 --> 00:16:16,140
-You're crazy, man.
-No, no, no. You know...
384
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,220
I'm not gone from
Becky's table
for two minutes,
385
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:19,350
and you're already
sitting down,
386
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,230
sticking your fork
in my food.
387
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:27,070
You getting busy
with this chick
or something?
388
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:30,820
No.
389
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:33,860
My God, Carrie's right.
390
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,910
I'm having a food affair.
391
00:16:38,450 --> 00:16:40,120
Excuse me.
392
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:44,920
[**]
393
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,250
Hey, honey,
I got to talk to you.
394
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:47,290
Hey, stir this.
395
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,800
What? What's going on?
396
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,510
Oh, my dad invited
Spence and Becky over
397
00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:54,050
to watchThe Wizard of Oz,
and I am making dinner.
398
00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:55,930
I am cooking all the things
you love in the world.
399
00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:57,100
Oh, crap! The Biscuits.
400
00:16:57,140 --> 00:16:58,510
You don't
have to do all this.
401
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,520
Yes, Doug,
you were not getting
402
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:01,600
what you need from me.
403
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,020
I need to nurture you.
404
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:05,020
No, no. I was
totally wrong, okay?
405
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:06,150
I got crazy
over Becky's food.
406
00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:08,270
It was stupid.
It's over now.
407
00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:09,520
No, no, no.
Listen to me.
408
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,940
You are a big guy.
You love food,
409
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,450
and I took you
for granted.
410
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:15,820
I just assumed
whatever slop
I put in front of you
411
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,450
you'd be fine with.
412
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:19,030
I was fine with it.
Look at me.
413
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,990
I could eat the table
and be happy.
414
00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:25,330
The point is,
I didn't put anything
into it, you know?
415
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:27,420
I didn't put any love
into it like Becky does.
416
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:29,460
Okay, Carrie, look.
You got to believe me, okay?
417
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,010
It doesn't matter what Becky
makes her food with...
418
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:36,630
love,
little chunks
of ham...
419
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,430
I don't need it.
420
00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:39,550
-Really?
-Yeah, absolutely.
421
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,600
I mean, I love you,
and...
422
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,980
whatever you make for me,
that's all I need.
423
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:48,060
Thank you, honey.
424
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,980
-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Oh, that's them!
425
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,230
Okay, all right.
426
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,280
-We're here.
-BECKY: Hi
427
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,450
-What's going on?
-Thanks for having us.
428
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:57,950
Oh, no problem.
429
00:17:57,990 --> 00:18:00,030
I threw together
a little salad.
430
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,000
Thank you.
That was so sweet.
431
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,420
I'm glad to help
if you need me.
432
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:12,340
Oh, I'm sure you are,
433
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:14,460
but this salad
is quite enough,
434
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,510
especially after
I specifically told you
435
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:19,930
not to bring anything.
436
00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:21,100
Well, I thought
I should bring something.
437
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:24,180
Yeah, I'm sure you did,
but, um...
438
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:26,310
I did tell you
not to bring anything.
439
00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:30,060
I guess next time
we'll just have to
put it in writing. [LAUGHS]
440
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,310
DOUG: Uh, honey, I'm just
gonna bring the crackers
441
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,400
-in the other room.
-Okay, sweetie.
442
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,360
All right,
you listen to me, cookie.
443
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,030
I'm on to your game,
okay?
444
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,370
And it ain't gonna work.
445
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:52,420
Okay, we've got fried chicken,
biscuits and gravy...
446
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,460
salad. Dig in.
447
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,550
Everything
looks great, honey.
448
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:58,090
-Thank you.
-Hear, hear.
449
00:18:58,130 --> 00:19:00,260
Bravo, Carrie.
450
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:03,390
Becky,
breast or thigh?
451
00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:06,310
Um, whatever you say.
452
00:19:06,350 --> 00:19:10,060
ARTHUR: Oh, wow, Carrie,
you've outdone yourself
with the salad...
453
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,270
the pine nuts,
the cheese.
454
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:14,230
Douglas, why aren't
you having salad?
455
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:16,990
Uh, uh, I'm not really
in the mood for salad.
456
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,990
Have some.
It's delicious.
457
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:20,660
No, thank you.
458
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,660
Your wife has made you
salad with love.
459
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,580
Eat it,
you ungrateful bastard!
460
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:36,500
Actually...
[CLEARS THROAT] Dad...
461
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,720
Becky made
the salad.
462
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,090
Oh, I see.
463
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:45,640
Well, then...
have a biscuit.
464
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,720
Some of them came out
pretty well.
465
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:52,350
[**]
466
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:56,570
-Here, honey, I'll get that.
-No way.
467
00:19:56,610 --> 00:19:58,610
You made a delicious,
nurturing meal.
468
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:00,070
I'm cleaning up, okay?
469
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:03,370
-Yeah?
-Absolutely. I'm full here...
470
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:07,490
but more importantly,
I'm full here.
471
00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:26,430
I can't believe
he's never seen
The Wizard of Oz.
472
00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:29,310
So how you liking it
so far, Dad?
473
00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:32,390
Is anyone else
but me terrified?
474
00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:39,030
Who wants
some more coffee?
475
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,740
-Uh, sure.
-Okay, I'll go make another pot.
476
00:20:57,710 --> 00:20:58,840
I can explain.
477
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,170
Salad?
478
00:21:00,210 --> 00:21:01,630
No, I was just--
I wasn't--
479
00:21:01,670 --> 00:21:03,800
I could understand
if it was a piece of fudge,
480
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,260
maybe a calzone,
but a salad?
481
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:11,810
You would do this to me
over a salad?
482
00:21:11,850 --> 00:21:14,190
I'm very weak.
483
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,350
Okay, here's how
it's gonna go down.
484
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,110
You're gonna
clean the bleu cheese
485
00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:20,070
from underneath your
stubby little fingernails,
486
00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:21,650
then you're gonna
rinse out that bowl,
487
00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:24,150
and if I see another piece
of that woman's Tupperware
488
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,320
in my kitchen again...
489
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:29,780
I'll kill you both.
490
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:33,250
What? Are you gonna
whip one of your biscuits
at my head?
491
00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:41,710
Oh, God.
492
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,090
[**]
493
00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:49,760
Darlin', come here.
494
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,520
I just stumbled
on a marvelous
television program.
495
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:53,930
-Oh, yeah
-Yes.
496
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,600
It's a period piece
about a simpler time.
497
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,270
Let me bring you
upto speed.
498
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:02,030
The one in the leather jacket
is called Fonzie.
499
00:22:07,070 --> 00:22:08,870
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
35807
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