Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:11,970
[KNOCKS]
2
00:00:12,010 --> 00:00:14,510
ARTHUR:
I'm in here.
3
00:00:14,550 --> 00:00:15,840
Dad, it's the middle
of the night.
4
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,220
What are you doin' up?
5
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:20,060
ARTHUR:I didn't realizeI had a curfew.
6
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,680
I--I'm sorry.
I just, uh,
7
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,020
I need to get something.
8
00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:24,350
ARTHUR:Tell mewhat it is,
9
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:26,690
and I'll slide itunder the door.
10
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,310
Yeah. Won't work.
11
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,690
Um, are you gonna be long?
12
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:32,990
[NEW AGE MUSIC PLAYS]
13
00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:35,740
Could be a few minutes!
14
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,290
SINGER: *My eyesare gettin' weary*
15
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:45,040
*My back is gettin' tight*
16
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,710
*I'm sitting herein traffic*
17
00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:50,170
*On the QueensboroBridge tonight*
18
00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:51,500
*But I don't care*
19
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:55,340
*'Cause all I want to do*
20
00:00:55,380 --> 00:01:00,890
*Is cash my check anddrive right home to you*
21
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,680
*'Cause baby,all my life*
22
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,690
*I will be drivinghome to you*
23
00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:17,570
Gimme somethin'
to punch.
24
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:18,620
What? What's wrong?
25
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:21,450
Gimme somethin'
to punch now!
26
00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:23,910
Not a friend.
27
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,500
All right, don't beat up
our groceries.
28
00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:27,120
Just tell me
what's wrong.
29
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,250
Your father's
what's wrong.
30
00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:29,500
I'm tryin'
to get ready for work,
31
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:30,960
I can't even get
in the freakin' bathroom.
32
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,590
He spends the whole day in
there, like he's at Six Flags.
33
00:01:34,630 --> 00:01:35,880
Doug, he's old.
34
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,760
His machinery just
takes a little longer
35
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,220
to rev up, that's all.
36
00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:40,850
You--you--that's not all.
He's in there messin' around
37
00:01:40,890 --> 00:01:42,930
with a stupid foot massager
for half an hour.
38
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,560
For your information,
it was a Waterpik.
39
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,890
Forgive me for not being
a bigger fan of gum disease.
40
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:49,650
Fine, it was
a Waterpik. My mistake.
41
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:51,310
Oh, and by the way,
one time,
42
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,730
try not aiming it
at the mirror.
43
00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:54,400
It might work out for
you. Give her a shot.
44
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,650
Well, I'd probably
do better
45
00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:57,320
if someone wasn't
banging on the door,
46
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,530
spewing hateful
invectives at me.
47
00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:00,910
CARRIE: All right, Dad.
48
00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:03,160
Stop taunting Doug with
words he doesn't know.
49
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,330
Now, both of you count to 10,
let me get out the door,
50
00:02:05,370 --> 00:02:06,710
and you can start
your slap fight.
51
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:08,120
Sure, you can run
out the door,
52
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,210
but you can't run away
53
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:11,170
from your responsibility
in this matter.
54
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:12,420
Me? What did I do?
55
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:14,460
When you insisted
I come live here with you,
56
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:15,960
you specifically
promised me
57
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,470
a furnished room
with private bath.
58
00:02:18,510 --> 00:02:20,340
I never said that.
59
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,550
You said it
with your eyes.
60
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:25,270
Doug, can we just build
61
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:27,350
a bathroom
downstairs for him?
62
00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:28,600
What? No!
63
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,190
Why not? It's not like
he doesn't need it.
64
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:31,310
He doesn't need it.
65
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:32,610
One bathroom is fine
for this house
66
00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:34,190
if he didn't nap in there.
67
00:02:34,230 --> 00:02:35,900
I don't plan them.
68
00:02:37,780 --> 00:02:39,360
So who's gonna
pay for this, Carrie?
69
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,740
Well, we can dip
into our savings.
70
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:43,030
I betcha we do the whole thing
for less than 1,000.
71
00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:47,580
Oh, just a thou?
Oh, well, in that case--no.
72
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:48,620
Oh, I'm sorry, Douglas.
73
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:49,960
Were you
saving that money
74
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,630
for yet another
50-foot television set?
75
00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:55,710
What I save my money for
is none of your business.
76
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,050
Fine, but bear in mind,
77
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,970
my bladder has me up
7 or 8 times a night,
78
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:00,680
and that laundry sink
down there
79
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,640
is starting to look
awfully good to me.
80
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,730
And checkmate! Dad wins!
Good-bye and good-bye.
81
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:20,570
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
82
00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:22,570
DEACON: Yeah,
come on in.
83
00:03:22,610 --> 00:03:24,240
Hey, come on, man.
Let's get goin', huh?
84
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,330
What's up with you?
85
00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:26,830
I had a crappy morning.
86
00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:28,750
I gotta shell out
1,000 bucks
87
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:30,540
to build a bathroom for Arthur.
You believe that?
88
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,080
You never built him
a bathroom?
89
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,250
Hmm, that's cold.
90
00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:35,460
Anyway,
91
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,550
it kills me the way
he manipulates Carrie.
92
00:03:37,590 --> 00:03:38,670
He knows what he's doin'.
93
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:40,880
"Oh, I'm old.
94
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:44,220
I have different smells."
95
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,430
Well, he is pretty old.
96
00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:50,770
I'm so not into you today.
97
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:52,100
Listen, don't take it
out on me, man.
98
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,600
I'm not havin' such
a great day myself.
99
00:03:54,650 --> 00:03:56,610
-Yeah? What's up?
-Man, I went out
100
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,400
to marriage counseling
with Kelly last night,
101
00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,780
and--and
it went pretty well,
102
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,190
so we decided to go out
to dinner after,
103
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,110
you know, to keep
talking, right?
104
00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:05,660
-So?
-So...
105
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,530
so he gets all bent out
of shape just because--
106
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,000
Hehas a name.
Thank you.
107
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,540
And perhaps
Doug would like
108
00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:13,670
to hear both sides
of the story, hmm?
109
00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:15,790
Not that much, no.
110
00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,130
Just let it go,
all right?
111
00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:18,800
Oh, me?
I should let it go?
112
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,760
Um, was I the one
that said,
113
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,090
"I'll be home at 8:00.
Order a pizza." Was that me?
114
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,760
I'm tryin' to reconcile
with my wife, man.
115
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,510
Fine.
This is a telephone,
116
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,350
and it was invented
so that people
117
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:32,520
could call other people
118
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,890
and tell them
not to order a pizza
119
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,400
they have no intention
of eating.
120
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,520
It's a pizza. Look, just get
my half out of the fridge,
121
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,650
and I'll pay you
for it, all right?
122
00:04:38,690 --> 00:04:39,940
-Forget it.
-No, come on, here.
123
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,690
I wanna end this.
Take this
124
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,490
and give me the rest
of the pizza. Come on.
125
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,200
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
126
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,410
I ate it, all right?
127
00:04:47,450 --> 00:04:48,910
In a fit
of self-loathing,
128
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:52,750
I wolfed down an entire
large pizza by myself,
129
00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:55,250
and you just made me admit
it in front of Doug!
130
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:56,880
Thank you!
131
00:04:58,670 --> 00:04:59,670
[DOOR SLAMS]
132
00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,710
-You all set?
-Yeah.
133
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,840
[UKRAINIAN ACCENT] And after I
finish with the framing,
134
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,180
I put up half-inch Greenboard.
That's very good.
135
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:12,100
Half-inch Greenboard, huh?
Is that cheapest you have?
136
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:13,680
Well, no. There
is quarter-inch.
137
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,680
You want that?
138
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:15,850
You know what?
That'll be fine.
139
00:05:15,890 --> 00:05:17,560
Quarter-inch?
That's not very thick.
140
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,190
-So?
-What if you get mad at me
141
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:20,520
and try to punch
your way in?
142
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,320
I wanna feel
secure in there.
143
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,570
Quarter-inch.
144
00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:26,360
-I want half-inch.
-You don't need half-inch.
145
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,030
I do need half-inch.
146
00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:30,080
H-h-how about three-eights?
147
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,990
Can I have
four-eights?
148
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,870
Three-eights
will be fine.
149
00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:36,790
If you're looking to save
some money elsewhere,
150
00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:38,790
I can get for you
a deal on the toilet.
151
00:05:38,830 --> 00:05:40,250
Whoa! Whoa there, Trotsky.
152
00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:43,340
I already picked out what
I want in that department.
153
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,010
King of Prussia
154
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:48,840
in Pacific blue
or sandstone.
155
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,050
Arthur, this toilet
is 600 bucks!
156
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,100
It's ergonomically correct.
157
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,230
I'm not paying
600 bucks for a toilet!
158
00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,400
Fine!
159
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,900
Why don't we just
dig a hole in the ground,
160
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,400
line it with newspapers?
161
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,610
Or is a nickel
still too much?
162
00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:08,700
Carrie!
163
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,530
[FOOTSTEPS
RUNNING UPSTAIRS]
164
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,700
Carrie, you got to go down
165
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:12,990
and talk to your father
right now.
166
00:06:13,030 --> 00:06:14,290
I'll talk to him later.
167
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:15,910
No, later's too late.
I gotta get to work,
168
00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:17,120
and he's outta control
on this bathroom thing.
169
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,580
It took me 20 minutes
to explain
170
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:21,210
to him why
he can't have a view.
171
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,960
I'll deal with it later.
172
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:28,130
-I don't feel well.
-Wh-what's the matter?
173
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,510
I don't know.
My--my stomach's weird.
174
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:33,930
You think it's that crab taco
you had at the drive-thru?
175
00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:35,850
Youhad that.
176
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,560
You had a bite.
177
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,440
No. You wouldn't
give me one.
178
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,270
They're
not that big.
179
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,610
Whatever!
It's not from that!
180
00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:47,900
I gotta go. I'm so late.
181
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,530
Just talk to your dad
when you can, okay?
182
00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:50,860
And take
some Pepto-Bismol.
183
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,120
It's not
that kind of thing.
184
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,370
-Well, then what is it?
-I don't know!
185
00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:55,990
Okay! Good-bye!
186
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,290
[SLAM]
187
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,040
What the hell is it?
188
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,340
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
189
00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,090
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
190
00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:09,630
I forgot
to put my thingy in.
191
00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,300
I'll be right back, okay?
192
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:12,800
All right.
I'll get started.
193
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,180
You work your way in,
like double dutch.
194
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:21,020
[HANDLE DOESN'T TURN]
195
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:22,770
[KNOCKS]
196
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,480
ARTHUR:
I'm in here!
197
00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:35,160
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
198
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,080
-ARTHUR:Carrie!
-Uh, yeah, Dad?
199
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,500
If you've got a moment,I'd like your thoughts
200
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:41,870
on some wallpaper samples.
201
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,000
Uh, I'll be out
in a minute.
202
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,000
The contractorlikes the striped pattern,
203
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,340
but I'm leaningtoward the seagulls.
204
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,340
They're a marvelous bird,don't you think?
205
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:52,380
Uh, Dad, I just--
I just need a minute.
206
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:56,260
Right-o. I'll wait downstairswith the contractor.
207
00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:10,990
Oh, boy.
208
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,320
[WHISTLING]
209
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,950
So, where are you
from exactly?
210
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,500
I was born in Kiev.
211
00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:24,120
Ah, yes! Kiev.
212
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,670
Jewel of the Ukraine.
213
00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,840
-You have been there?
-No.
214
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,090
But I hear good things
215
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:34,880
Oh, darling, good.
216
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:36,140
Here's a third
wallpaper choice
217
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:37,930
I'm also considering.
218
00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:41,180
Lively cartoons of
various people in the John.
219
00:08:42,930 --> 00:08:44,100
What do you think?
220
00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:45,980
Uh, it's--it's fine.
221
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:48,570
I'm sensing
some hesitation.
222
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,400
Too randy?
223
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,400
Think it might
cause a stir?
224
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,450
I-I'm sorry, Dad.
225
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,990
I really can't focus
on that right now.
226
00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:58,450
Alex, I think we might
have to put a pin in this
227
00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:00,040
till next time.
228
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,040
Okay. I'll see you
tomorrow.
229
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:04,790
Hmm!
230
00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:07,080
Look at this drunken fella.
231
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,170
Doesn't even realize
the lid's down.
232
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,500
Marvelous!
233
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,220
I'm--I'm pregnant.
234
00:09:15,260 --> 00:09:16,590
Hmm?
235
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:17,680
I'm sorry, dear.
What?
236
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,800
I'm...
237
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:20,890
I'm...
238
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:22,600
I'm pregnant, Dad.
239
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:23,600
Well, that's terrific!
240
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,100
No! No,
it's not terrific!
241
00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:28,440
We weren't--we weren't
trying for this now, Dad.
242
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,610
We just--
we just got careless.
243
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:32,820
So what, darling?
244
00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:35,200
Nature works in
its own wonderful way.
245
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,110
This has nothing
to do with nature.
246
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,280
I couldn't get in the bathroom
and get what I needed,
247
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,160
because you were locked in
there listening to Enya!
248
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:50,750
Well, I offered to slip
your doohickey under the door.
249
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:53,250
Yeah, well, I didn't want
you to touch my doohickey.
250
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:56,090
Okay?
But that's not the point.
251
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:58,130
The point is we're not
prepared for this, Dad.
252
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,350
We--we barely have
enough money in the bank
253
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:02,310
to--to build you
your bathroom.
254
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:04,270
A kid is like
10 bathrooms!
255
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,690
And that's if we don't
let it go to college!
256
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,270
Oy!
257
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,400
Darling, many years ago,
258
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,400
I anticipated that
this day would come,
259
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:15,150
so I put together a plan
that would help you kids out
260
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:17,490
with your financial needs.
261
00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:18,910
-You did?
-Yes.
262
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:22,620
Looking back, I wish I had
followed through on that plan.
263
00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:28,920
But in my defense...
264
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,750
the dog races
are terribly fixed.
265
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:34,840
Dad, you know what?
266
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,340
It's not
your responsibility.
267
00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:39,090
Doug and I made a dumb
mistake, and now--
268
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:41,010
well, I don't
even know what now.
269
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,220
I'll tell you one thing.
270
00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:43,760
You got to talk
to Douglas right away.
271
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,100
I can't. I have
to go to work.
272
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:47,230
Work, schmerk!
This is your life!
273
00:10:47,270 --> 00:10:48,980
You need
to hold each other.
274
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:51,690
Dad, my boss has a huge
deposition today
275
00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:52,810
which starts in--
276
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,320
less than an hour!
I got to go.
277
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,230
I will tell him when I get
home from work tonight,
278
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,530
and don't you tell him
if he gets home first, okay?
279
00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:00,610
Fine, whatever.
280
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,320
Dad, this is
a personal matter, okay?
281
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:05,370
I need you to look me in the
eye and swear on mom's grave
282
00:11:05,410 --> 00:11:07,120
that you
won't tell him.
283
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,330
Pick a different grave.
How about Aunt Lottie?
284
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,960
Dad!
285
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,040
Fine. I won't tell him.
286
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,840
Thank you.
I love you.
287
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,710
Love you, too,
sweetheart.
288
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:28,140
Okay, kids,
last time I checked,
289
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,390
packages don't deliver
themselves. Chop, chop.
290
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,650
All right,
I'm outta here.
291
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:34,110
Where do you want
to meet for lunch?
292
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:37,190
Anywhere as long as it's a
castle and it's white.
293
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,900
-1:00?
-See you then.
294
00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:42,950
Hello, Douglas!
295
00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:44,620
Arthur, what
are you doing here?
296
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,790
Ah, nothing special.
I may be sending a package soon,
297
00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:49,540
and I wanted your outfit to get
first crack at the business.
298
00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:52,790
So far,
I like what I see.
299
00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:54,960
Okay, once again,
what are you doing here?
300
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,050
Is this about
your stupid bathroom?
301
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:59,800
Not at all, but, hey, since fate
has thrown us together,
302
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,090
what say we pop into
the city and see Carrie?
303
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,220
Come on. Road trip!
304
00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:04,550
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa! Whoa.
305
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,140
-Is Carrie okay?
-She's fine. She's fine,
306
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:10,310
but I do think you should
speak to her immediately.
307
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:13,480
There's a bit
of a situation.
308
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,650
Well, what is it?
309
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:15,980
I am forbidden to tell.
310
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:18,900
-Would you just tell me?!
-I'm forbidden!
311
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:19,820
Heffernan.
312
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,280
That thing
I said before,
313
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,860
that was just
chummy boss talk,
314
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,620
but the fact is packages really
don't deliver themselves.
315
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:26,910
I'm sorry, Mr. O'Boyle.
316
00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:28,410
It's just that I have
a little family crisis.
317
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:29,700
More of a situation
actually.
318
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:31,830
-A situation, right.
-What is it?
319
00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,160
I don't know.
He won't tell me.
320
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:35,170
I've been forbidden.
321
00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:36,210
Who are you?
322
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:37,420
A concerned citizen.
323
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:38,920
He's my father-in-law.
324
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,380
Is it all right if I go into the
city and talk to my wife?
325
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:42,800
What?
Oh, come on, Heffernan.
326
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,970
I mean, I got
wife problems as well.
327
00:12:45,010 --> 00:12:46,680
You don't see me
runnin' outta here
328
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,220
just 'cause she took
the kids back to India.
329
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:53,690
Sir, the man has a legitimate
situation to deal with at once.
330
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:55,900
Well, what the hell
is it?
331
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:58,270
Come here.
332
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,150
-[WHISPERING]
-Really?
333
00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:04,820
Well,
that's terrific.
334
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:07,030
ARTHUR:
Wait. There's more.
335
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:11,490
Ohhh! Ooohh.
336
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,040
That's a shame.
337
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,540
All right, Heffernan,
you can go.
338
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:17,170
Come on!
339
00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:18,340
W-w-w...
340
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,050
-What is it?!
-I'm forbidden!
341
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,130
BERENSON: Now, Mr. Mazzeo,
in your testimony
342
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,180
before the securities
and exchange commission,
343
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,720
you specifically mentioned
that you had no knowledge
344
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,140
of the pending merger.
345
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:33,680
And you signed an affidavit
to that effect as well.
346
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,890
Could I see that,
please, Carrie?
347
00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:39,770
-Carrie?
-Hmm? I'm sorry. What? What?
348
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:41,610
Could I please see Mr. Mazzeo's
affidavit, please?
349
00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:43,280
Oh. Sure, you can.
350
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,990
Okay, affi...affi...
351
00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:48,530
affi...davit.
There you go.
352
00:13:48,570 --> 00:13:49,950
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
353
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:54,330
Now, Mr. Mazzeo, if I
can refer you to page 51,
354
00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:55,910
specifically paragraph 5...
355
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,460
Oh, God, would you look
at this gas bill?
356
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,040
Can we put this
on a credit card?
357
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,300
We could if it hadn't been
scissored in half at McDonalds.
358
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:05,090
[SIGHS] What about all these
frequent flyer miles?
359
00:14:05,130 --> 00:14:07,760
Can we use them
for anything?
360
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,430
Yeah, that's
a minus sign.
361
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:11,350
We owe them miles.
362
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:12,600
[CRASH]
363
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,180
Could you deal
with that, please?
364
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,060
Your turn!
365
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,610
[BABY CRYING]
366
00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,860
CARRIE: Doug
Junior--
367
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:24,730
Oh!
368
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,530
Oh, okay--oh,
that's not good--
369
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:28,150
sweetie, no, no--
370
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:32,530
There we go. There we go.
There we go.
371
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,790
Oh! Oh!
372
00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:35,290
Ooh! No, no, that's
mama's-- mama's--
373
00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:38,460
no, mama's sad--
mama's sad--
374
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:39,790
[BABY TALK]
375
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:41,130
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
376
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:42,170
Dougie--
sweetie--
377
00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:43,290
sweetie,
be careful--
378
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:44,420
you gotta
be careful--
379
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:45,550
play nice--
no, no--
380
00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:47,550
play--
no, no--
381
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:48,800
I need that--
neat, please--
382
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,470
yeah, okay, baby--
383
00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:53,890
[GROANING]
384
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:56,850
It's okay,
it's okay--
385
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,270
[GROANS]
386
00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:11,870
Doug Jr., it's time to go home.
387
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,330
Come on, sweetie.
388
00:15:17,370 --> 00:15:19,500
We have to leave now.
389
00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:20,830
Hey, Dougie,
390
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,040
you want some ice cream?
391
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:26,210
Yeah, yeah, come on,
come on baby.
392
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:28,010
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
393
00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:30,800
Yeah, come on.
Come on, baby.
394
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,470
Yeah. Yeah. Oh!
395
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:35,930
It... honey, it's OK,
396
00:15:35,970 --> 00:15:39,520
ice cream. Ice cream. Yeah.
397
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,100
Yeah. Come get it, baby.
398
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,940
Honey, slow...
you gotta slow down, baby.
399
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,900
Baby, you gotta slow down.
Yeah.
400
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:48,230
Slow down. Slow down.
401
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,400
Whoo.
402
00:15:57,910 --> 00:15:59,700
-BERENSON: Carrie!
-Hmm? Oh!
403
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:00,870
Can I see the transcript,
please?
404
00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:04,540
Oh! Sure, I'm sorry.
There you go.
405
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,710
Now, Mr. Mazzeo,
406
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:09,300
on the 14th of August, you--
407
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:15,350
uh, excuse me
one moment, please.
408
00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:16,550
What's going on?
409
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,060
Hi, I'm
Carrie's husband.
410
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,930
Any chance I could just
speak to her for a moment?
411
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:21,140
We're in the middle
of a deposition.
412
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:21,940
Can it wait?
413
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,560
I'm pretty sure
it can't,
414
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,900
but I'm
not positive.
415
00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:27,070
I don't understand.
416
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:28,820
It's a very
sensitive matter
417
00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:31,360
he's not privy to
at the moment.
418
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,240
You see--
419
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,700
-come here.
-Stop telling people!
420
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:38,160
Look, tell me!
421
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,660
I'm forbidden.
422
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:41,410
Doug? Dad?
423
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:42,790
Here's your husband.
424
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:43,790
Now talk to him.
425
00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:45,830
I'll be
waiting in there.
426
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,920
Carrie, what the hell
is going on?
427
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,130
He won't tell me
anything.
428
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:50,550
Dad, why did you
bring him down here?
429
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:51,760
I am working.
430
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,140
This is more important.
Now tell him.
431
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,100
Doug, I--I really
can't talk right now.
432
00:16:57,140 --> 00:16:59,930
The thing is,
um, I'm pregnant.
433
00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:01,140
And I'm terrified
we're gonna be broke,
434
00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:03,480
and I love you,
and we'll talk at home.
435
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,860
So, in the mood
for a knish?
436
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:16,240
They asleep?
437
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,030
Finally. Kirby put up
a helluva fight, though.
438
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,950
Had to read him
Everyone Poops4 times.
439
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,160
God, he's obsessed
with that book.
440
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,960
I think I know it
by heart now.
441
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,830
It's a good book, though.
I actually never realized
442
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,710
that everyone poops.
443
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,300
Yeah, well, the title
does give it away.
444
00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:38,470
Anyway, I guess I should
head on back to Spence's.
445
00:17:38,510 --> 00:17:40,010
Sure. Okay.
446
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,470
So, I'll, uh--
I'll, uh--
447
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,640
see you at counseling
on Thursday, right?
448
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,770
-Right.
-Right.
449
00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:48,190
All right.
450
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:51,520
Deacon...
451
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,820
Yeah?
452
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:54,400
Look, I have half
a lasagna from yesterday.
453
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,950
I could heat it up
if you haven't already eaten.
454
00:17:57,990 --> 00:18:00,580
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
455
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,700
-Hello?
-Hey, man, it's me.
456
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,330
Oh, hey. Where are you?
457
00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:06,710
I'm at home and I'm just gonna
hang out here for dinner, okay?
458
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:07,830
SPENCE:No problemo.
459
00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:09,500
Probably be home
about 10:00.
460
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:10,790
I'll see you then.
461
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,840
And, hey, thanks
for the phone call.
462
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,170
Not so hard, was it?
463
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,180
You're right,
you're right. My bad.
464
00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:18,970
Listen,
have a good dinner.
465
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,970
I'll catch you later,
buddy boy.
466
00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:23,470
[TELEPHONE BEEPS OFF]
467
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,030
CARRIE: I'm not ready.
I'm not ready.
468
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:35,320
I am so not ready.
469
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:37,110
All right, come on,
will you just calm down.
470
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,240
Doug, this is
not a situation
471
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,910
that calls
for calming down, okay?
472
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:42,080
As a matter of fact,
why don't you calm up?!
473
00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:44,040
OK, there's no such thing.
474
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,910
You can only calm
in one direction.
475
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,460
Well then maybe they
should change that.
476
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,620
Why are you so upset?
477
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:50,880
We wanted to have
a baby eventually, right?
478
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,170
Yes, eventually, Doug.
Not today.
479
00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:54,800
It's like being offered
a job on Monday,
480
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,050
but you have
to start on Tuesday.
481
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:59,630
"Congratulations, you're
our new pregnant person!
482
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,180
See you at 9 A.M.!"
483
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,600
and I can't even tell them
that I don't want the job
484
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,930
because I've already
been fired from my old job
485
00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:06,350
as a not-pregnant person.
486
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:08,060
I'm not even allowed
near the building!
487
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,730
Okay, will you stop
straightening up for a second?
488
00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:11,400
I can't!
We're having a baby!
489
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,400
Yeah, well, he's not
dropping by tonight.
490
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,570
[SIGHS]
Now, listen to me.
491
00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:21,780
What?
492
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:24,080
Everything
is gonna be fine.
493
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:27,040
But you have
to stop worrying.
494
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,460
How can I stop
worrying, Doug?
495
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,080
We're--we're broke,
we're unprepared,
496
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,080
and I drop things.
497
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,250
You know
your Jets mug?
498
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,960
That wasn't my dad.
That was me.
499
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,970
Come here. Will you
just listen to me?
500
00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:42,760
From this moment
501
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,600
until the moment
Bruce is born...
502
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,140
Bruce?
503
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:53,690
-After Springsteen, no?
-No, but go on.
504
00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:55,900
Until the moment he is born,
505
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:58,650
all the burden
is on me.
506
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:01,950
Okay, I'm gonna work overtime,
I'll get a job at night,
507
00:20:01,990 --> 00:20:04,280
we'll sock away
a lot of money, okay?
508
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:05,830
And if anything comes up,
I'll take care of it.
509
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,580
Anything.
510
00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:09,910
Well, what do I do?
511
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:11,290
You just think
happy thoughts
512
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:14,250
and grow a baby.
That's your only job.
513
00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:18,590
Not counting your regular job.
We need that.
514
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,420
I'll try.
515
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,510
But I'm gonna freak out,
Doug, sometimes.
516
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,800
-I can't help that.
-So then you freak out.
517
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,060
But then you call me, okay?
518
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,390
'cause I'm always
wearing my phone, huh?
519
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,060
Oh.
520
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,940
Other side.
It's on the other side.
521
00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:37,270
Look, it'll ring, I'll find it,
trust me.
522
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:40,320
Are we
on the same page?
523
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,070
I just feel bad giving
you the whole burden.
524
00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,320
Don't feel bad.
Burden me up!
525
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,080
Grrrr!
526
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,410
All right?
527
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,750
Fine.
528
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,500
Well? Give it to me.
529
00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:58,630
What? You want me
to, like,
530
00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:01,170
mime giving it to you?
531
00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:04,470
I think it would be a nice
symbolic gesture, yes.
532
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,760
All right.
533
00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:18,480
That's it?
534
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,110
Yes.
535
00:21:20,150 --> 00:21:22,030
You're lying.
I know there's more!
536
00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:24,360
I know there's more.
Come on, you're holding!
537
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,160
Aha!
538
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,370
Ohhh!
539
00:21:29,410 --> 00:21:32,410
Oh, that is
pure burden.
540
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,290
You're an idiot.
541
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,750
I love you.
542
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,340
So, should I conclude that
543
00:21:45,380 --> 00:21:48,680
the storm has passed?
544
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,760
Yes, Dad.
545
00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:02,440
And break.
546
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,700
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
38251
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.