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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,580 --> 00:00:05,040 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:15,430 [DOOR OPENS] 3 00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:17,800 Good God, it is cold! 4 00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:20,430 What are you doing here? I thought you had to go in early this morning. 5 00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:23,560 I did. I do. But I have been out there for the last half hour 6 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,520 trying to scrape the ice off the stupid windshield. 7 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,610 I think my fingers broke off into my gloves. 8 00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:33,190 You gonna introduce me to that frozen stuff under your nose? 9 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,530 Shut up. Come on, I'm late. Will you help me, please? 10 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,660 All right, all right. 11 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,540 Dougie's here, okay? You just relax, 12 00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:42,330 you warm yourself up... 13 00:00:42,370 --> 00:00:45,670 and let a man do a man's job, Okay? 14 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,460 Looks like you're wearing a dress. 15 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,340 Hey, don't sass me, woman. 16 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:52,460 Just hand me the tool. 17 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:54,340 -Knock yourself out. -All right. 18 00:00:55,590 --> 00:00:57,430 [WIND HOWLING] 19 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,290 Arrh! 20 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,460 [BLOWS] 21 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,170 You're taking the train. 22 00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:39,760 SINGER: *My eyes are gettin' weary* 23 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,220 *My back is gettin' tight* 24 00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:44,270 *I'm sitting here in traffic* 25 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,890 *On the Queensboro Bridge tonight* 26 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:52,440 *But I don't care 'cause all I want to do* 27 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:57,860 *Is cash my check and drive right home to you* 28 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,240 *'Cause, baby, all my life* 29 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:04,240 *I will be drivin' home to you* 30 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,010 Hey, Dad. 31 00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:25,020 Hello, sweetheart. 32 00:02:25,060 --> 00:02:27,810 My God, it is freezing down here! 33 00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:30,350 Yeah, it's a hell of a cold snap we're having, 34 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,020 but don't worry. I'm quite fine. 35 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:34,270 Fine? 36 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,730 Your lips are blue. 37 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,690 I'm fine. If my lips are blue, 38 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:38,820 it's probably because 39 00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:41,610 I was chewing some novelty gum earlier. 40 00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:45,200 You know what? This is crazy. 41 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,580 Come upstairs. You can sleep in my office tonight. 42 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,910 Darling, please, I don't need to come upstairs. 43 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,250 You're not freezing? 44 00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:53,170 Well, I admit I was rather cold 45 00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:55,380 a few hours ago, but that passed. 46 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:58,630 Now, damnedest thing, 47 00:02:58,670 --> 00:03:01,090 I just feel sleepy. 48 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:05,350 There you go. 49 00:03:05,390 --> 00:03:07,180 Sweet Georgia Brown. 50 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,730 A chair that turns into a bed. 51 00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:11,850 Now I've seen it all. 52 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,020 It's a Futon. It's Japanese. 53 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,320 You've never seen one of these? 54 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,190 Not as such, no. 55 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,990 You got to hand it to those Japanese, though. 56 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,280 Clever people. 57 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,280 Still a mystery to me 58 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,860 how we ever got them to surrender 59 00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,950 in the second World War. 60 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,200 Well, we did annihilate 2 of their cities. 61 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,120 True enough. Mystery solved. 62 00:03:32,330 --> 00:03:35,000 Well, hello there, neighbor! 63 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,920 Hello. 64 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,920 Why'd he call me neighbor? 65 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,300 I'm moving him up here for the night. 66 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,090 The basement was freezing. 67 00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:46,760 How freezing? 68 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,720 Stop it. 69 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,140 All right, Dad. Make yourself comfortable, 70 00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:52,440 and if you need anything, 71 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:53,810 you just let me know, all right? 72 00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:55,770 I need nothing. Now, you kids run along, 73 00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:57,650 do your thing, and forget I'm even here. 74 00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:58,820 Okay. Good night. 75 00:03:58,860 --> 00:03:59,860 I love you. 76 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:01,110 Good night. 77 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,950 Douglas. 78 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,950 What's your preference incense-wise, 79 00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:07,330 vanilla or musk? 80 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,170 So, just to review, 81 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,290 I want to order the deluxe miracle wand, 82 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:21,380 the waterproof pen, and 3 cans of the spray-on hair. 83 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:24,130 In orange, yes. It's for a friend. 84 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:27,050 All right! Thank you for your help, young man. 85 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:31,180 I can expect it on Tuesday? Wow, that's speedy. 86 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,980 Where you located, anyway? 87 00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,980 Indiana, huh? 88 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:37,360 The Hoosier state! 89 00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:53,830 Carrie. 90 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,170 Mm? 91 00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:57,380 I-I'm drenched in sweat. 92 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,050 Me, too. 93 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,180 Do we have Malaria? 94 00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:08,720 It's boiling in here! 95 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,850 Ohh... 96 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,350 The thermostat is set at 90! 97 00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:18,020 He's trying to cook us! 98 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,400 No. He probably just got cold at night 99 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,980 and couldn't see the numbers, that's all. 100 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,360 Oh, come on, he sees. 101 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,400 He sees exactly what he wants to see. 102 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,280 Wha--whoa! What are you, insane? 103 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,780 Well, I'm trying to cool the room down. 104 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,080 Doug, we are hot and sweaty, and it's 10 below out there. 105 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,080 That's how people die. 106 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,210 I need it open a crack. 107 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:43,420 Fine. I'm gonna go make some coffee. 108 00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:47,970 Oh, God... it's 6:30. 109 00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:50,510 I haven't been up this early on a Saturday since I was 2. 110 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,100 Even then I was annoyed. 111 00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:57,310 Morning, neighbor! 112 00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:01,820 Oh, what a beautiful morning. 113 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,570 I love these cold, crisp days. Don't you, Douglas? 114 00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:06,820 Uh-huh. 115 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:10,160 You know, when I was a boy, 116 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,080 winter time was my favorite time of year. 117 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,870 I remember one winter... [CHUCKLES] 118 00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:17,960 I couldn't have been more than 8 or 9-- 119 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,250 no, I was 10-- 120 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:22,040 No, no, I couldn't have been 10. 121 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,920 I was in the army. 122 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,380 Well, anyway, 123 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:30,220 there I was at Fort Dix, and they put me... 124 00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:31,430 MAN [OVER TV]:Well, we're heading into our fourth day 125 00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,100 in a row of subzero temperatures 126 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:34,310 with no end in sight. 127 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,810 Boy, is there egg on my face! 128 00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,980 I said it was supposed to warm up by Saturday. 129 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,940 Hope you didn't plan any picnics on my say-so, ha ha! 130 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,110 [MOCKING LAUGHTER] 131 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:44,440 You're so funny, yeah. 132 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,230 Oh, look at that. The sun's got earmuffs, 133 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,110 and the big cloud is blowing! 134 00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:51,030 You make me sick! 135 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,450 ARTHUR: Okay. Morning, Douglas. 136 00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:56,950 Wh-what are you doing? 137 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,290 Just getting a few things to bring upstairs. 138 00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,120 Have you read Lonesome Dove? 139 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,000 Can't say that I have. 140 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:07,050 Apparently it's "A gripping epic tale of the old west." 141 00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:10,090 I'll be sure to float it across the hall to you when I'm done. 142 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:13,220 CARRIE: Hi, Dad. 143 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:14,890 Hello. 144 00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:17,350 Don't hello me. Did you see him? Did you? Did you? 145 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:18,430 Yes. 146 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,230 Yeah, and what was he carrying? 147 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:22,980 Some stuff. 148 00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:25,900 No, no, not "some stuff". Some personal stuff. 149 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:27,530 All right, so he brought up a book. Big deal. 150 00:07:27,570 --> 00:07:29,070 No, 2 books, Carrie, 2! 151 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:31,570 And one was thick as a steak! 152 00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:33,160 And he had some clothes and some kind of clock-- 153 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,450 All right. What's your point? 154 00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,410 He's nesting! 155 00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:37,950 You showed him a nice, warm place, 156 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,080 and he likes it. 157 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,500 He's made it his own, 158 00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:42,170 and now he's getting ready to lay his eggs. 159 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:48,090 Okay, thank you for that image. 160 00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:49,340 Carrie, what are we gonna do? That's our space! 161 00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,510 That's our... Arthur-free zone. 162 00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:54,220 Doug, what do you want me to do? I can't send him back downstairs. 163 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,640 I mean, he might freeze to death. 164 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,140 He might not. He might not, right? 165 00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:59,020 We can check on him from time to time. 166 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:01,520 I can bring cocoa. 167 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,060 Doug, I am not making him move downstairs. 168 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,110 It is too cold. 169 00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:08,690 Why is it so cold? 170 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:12,320 What ever happened to that global warming they talked about? 171 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,910 I had such high hopes for that. 172 00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,410 Honey, just relax, okay? 173 00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:18,240 As soon as it warms back up, 174 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,370 he will go downstairs all on his own, okay? 175 00:08:21,410 --> 00:08:24,540 I'd like so much to believe that's true. 176 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,040 It is. Trust me. 177 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,630 MAN [OVER RADIO]:...and a strong high-pressure system 178 00:08:28,670 --> 00:08:30,170 moved into the New York area overnight, 179 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,670 bringing balmy temperatures, 180 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,590 which should stay with us through the weekend. 181 00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:36,930 WCBS News time, 6:45. 182 00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:37,640 [TURNS RADIO OFF] 183 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,220 Carrie. 184 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,220 -Hmm? -Carrie, did you hear that? 185 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,520 The guy on the radio... 186 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,400 he said it's gonna be balmy out. 187 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,480 Balmy means warm, right? 188 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,030 It's balmy. 189 00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,230 Ba-balmy, balmy. 190 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,400 It's ba-balmy balmy balmy. 191 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:57,240 It's balmy. It's balmy. B-b-balmy-- 192 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,700 Damn it, now I said it too much. It's got no meaning! 193 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,410 Where's the dictionary? 194 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:04,080 Or I could just go and open the window 195 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,210 and find out. 196 00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:07,000 Yeah, do that. 197 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,260 Oh... 198 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,390 it is warm. 199 00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:18,550 -DOUG: It is? -Yeah. 200 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,720 It is! 201 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,180 Hee hee! 202 00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,180 It's, like--it's, like, 40 degrees out. 203 00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:24,770 God...hey, honey, 204 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,730 look at the drippy icicle, huh? 205 00:09:27,770 --> 00:09:30,980 Oh. Oh, and look at the little squirrel. 206 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,570 Hi there, fella. 207 00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:36,030 Look at him. Look at him with the little acorn in his little hands. 208 00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:38,280 Mmm. 209 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,370 Yeah. You're happy 'cause it's warm. 210 00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,490 -Yeah. -Yes, you are. 211 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,660 Yes, you are--whoa! 212 00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:48,580 Whoa, he really came at us, huh? 213 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,000 Yeah. He didn't look quite right, did he? 214 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,380 So, uh... 215 00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:53,510 you gonna go across the hall 216 00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,090 and tell your father it's warm? 217 00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,300 -No. -Why not? 218 00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:59,090 Well, I don't want to seem overeager. 219 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,260 It'll just spook him. 220 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,600 Let's just leave him alone. 221 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,020 He'll go back down on his own tonight. 222 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,140 Carrie, I love you very much, 223 00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:07,520 but if you are wrong, 224 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,310 I will tie you down outside 225 00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:11,060 and sprinkle you with acorns. 226 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,360 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 227 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,700 LANSBURY [OVER TV]:... when the embezzlement came out, 228 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:21,320 Marian might add things up. 229 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,030 She might remember the briefcase, 230 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,040 the missing money, who took it. 231 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,710 You had to silence her, 232 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,830 and once she was dead, the case would be closed. 233 00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:31,420 [CLOSING CREDITS MUSIC PLAYS] 234 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,090 Oh, gosh, I am getting tired. 235 00:10:34,130 --> 00:10:37,510 Whoo! Oh, yeah. Getting on towards bedtime. 236 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,590 What a warm night. 237 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,680 It is warm, isn't it? 238 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,430 Oh, it's downright balmy. 239 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,390 Well, kids, I think I'm gonna turn in. 240 00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:49,230 Oh, yeah, you gonna? 241 00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:52,110 You gonna... head on down to bed? 242 00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,230 Yeah. It's getting late. 243 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,480 Sleep tight. 244 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,440 -You, too, Dad. -Yeah. Good night. 245 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:18,550 He went down. 246 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:20,550 You see? I told you he would. 247 00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:22,550 You did tell me, and thank you for telling me, 248 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,800 and thank you for being the smart and nice 249 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,720 and decent person I always knew you were. 250 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,480 Just some beans in case I get hungry in the wee hours. 251 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,810 Good night. 252 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,570 CARRIE: Doug... 253 00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:39,280 you're hurting me. 254 00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:46,910 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 255 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,160 Hey. 256 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,380 Greetings. 257 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,000 How was your day? 258 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,920 Very good. 259 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,590 Somebody misspelled the word "plaintiff" in a brief today and I caught it, 260 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:03,050 so I'm thinking any day now on that big raise. 261 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:05,050 Ha ha. Yeah. 262 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,930 -Still up there, huh? -Oh, he's still up there. 263 00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:13,850 Man... 264 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,060 any chance he's up there packing? 265 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,690 He's been hammering. 266 00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:19,530 Oh, my God. 267 00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:20,900 What are we gonna do? 268 00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,400 What are we gonna do? 269 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,200 I think the person who invited him upstairs 270 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,570 should put him on down, hmm-ski? 271 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,740 I have to evict my own father? 272 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,120 Yeah, that should be fun. 273 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,870 Hey, you know what? We can make it fun, you know? 274 00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:35,000 We'll hire a clown or maybe a singing telegram, you know? 275 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,920 *Old man, you got to move on down* 276 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,420 I'm off-key. You got to imagine a professional doing it. 277 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,130 Doug, how...how bad would it be 278 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,430 if we just let him live in that room? 279 00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:49,100 You mean that room. 280 00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:51,640 Thatroom. 281 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,690 Tha-a-atroom. 282 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,860 -Now, come on, stop it. -What are you saying, 283 00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,770 you want him to live across the hall from us? 284 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,150 Well, Doug, I don't know what else to do. 285 00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:01,530 I mean, it's so obvious 286 00:13:01,570 --> 00:13:03,190 he just wants to be close to us. 287 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,650 You know, he's like a little kid 288 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,910 who wants to crawl into bed with his parents at night. 289 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:08,450 Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. 290 00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:09,740 You know what we should do? We should leave the door unlocked. 291 00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:10,910 That way he can come in any time he wants, 292 00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:13,910 and all 3 of us can spoon. Yeah! 293 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,670 Look, I know it's not ideal, but what if we... 294 00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:18,710 what if we laid some ground rules first? 295 00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:20,000 -No, Carrie. -Like he can't talk on the phone 296 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,670 after 10:00, he can't cook... 297 00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:22,800 -Carrie. -He can't keep testing 298 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,550 -the smoke alarms-- -Shh! Shh! Shh! 299 00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,510 Honey, it's not about the phone. 300 00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:29,600 It's not about the smoke alarms. 301 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,970 It's not even about the odd smells. 302 00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:37,020 It's about the very essence of him being across the hall. 303 00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,100 It's wrong, 304 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,650 and we both know it. 305 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:44,150 -But what-- -Shh! Shh! Shh! 306 00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:47,910 We both know it. 307 00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:50,280 All right, a little up the nose on that one, honey. 308 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,080 -Oh, was I? -Yeah. 309 00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:55,540 -Oh. Hello, kids. -Hi. 310 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,870 I had this blown up at the drug store. 311 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,670 The bastards took me for 11.95, but it's worth it. 312 00:14:04,090 --> 00:14:05,260 Um...Dad, 313 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,680 Doug--Doug and I were just thinking-- 314 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,050 Hope you didn't sprain anything. 315 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,760 I tease with love. 316 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,100 Come in. Relax. 317 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,970 Help yourself to a sucking candy. 318 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,640 Oh. 319 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:17,480 So you've gotten pretty comfortable up here, huh? 320 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,650 Oh, yeah. That cold snap 321 00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,980 was a blessing in disguise. 322 00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:24,150 Of course, I feel badly for the 12 people who died, 323 00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:27,860 but for me, it couldn't have worked out better. 324 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,160 Well, actually, Dad, the thing is, uh... 325 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,790 Yes, darling? 326 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:37,330 Well, now that it's-- that it's-- 327 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,620 that it's warmed up, um... 328 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,670 we just thought that, uh... 329 00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:44,710 you know, you should--well, we--we should all go back 330 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:48,630 to our original living...situations. 331 00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,890 I don't follow. 332 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,680 Well, like, um... 333 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,020 ahem--you know, we should all go back to the rooms 334 00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:01,730 that we were in before it got so cold, you know? 335 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,860 Like, uh, oh, like Doug--Doug and I 336 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:07,110 we were--were in that room, so... 337 00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:08,190 I guess--I guess we w-would 338 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,160 probably stay in there then, right? 339 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,870 Yeah. Right. Okay, yeah. 340 00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:13,870 And then you, Dad, you should, uh... 341 00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:15,700 I should move back to the basement. 342 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,000 Is that where you were, down there? 343 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,040 Oh! Okay, great! Good! So we're all set. All right. 344 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,130 Okay, so you need help moving anything, or, uh... 345 00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:29,220 I must say I feel rather foolish. 346 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:31,380 I didn't realize... 347 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,050 this arrangement was such a problem for you. 348 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,350 It's not a-- it's not a problem per se. 349 00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:38,680 -It's just-- -You were up, you're down, 350 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,310 it's crazy, you know? Before, when we needed you, 351 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:41,810 it was, like, "Hey, where's Arthur?" 352 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,810 "Where is he? He's in the basement. 353 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,020 He's Basement Artie." 354 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:46,110 That was our nickname for you. 355 00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:48,070 Yeah. Can't change it now. 356 00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:51,200 Please, don't insult my intelligence. 357 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,370 If my presence here is so distasteful to you, 358 00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:57,740 at least have the courtesy to say it to my face. 359 00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:03,790 So be it. 360 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,380 Well, I understand. 361 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,930 I'll reimburse you for the spackle. 362 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:31,990 Delicious chicken, Carrie. 363 00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:33,660 You've outdone yourself again. 364 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,030 Thank you, Dad. 365 00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:36,910 I made it just the way you like it. 366 00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:38,700 Nice and pink inside. 367 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,960 Douglas, 368 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000 your anecdote about the vending machine at work 369 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,090 was amusing, yet quite poignant. 370 00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,130 Thank you, Arthur. 371 00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:54,090 Think I'll call it a night. 372 00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:56,680 MAN [OVER TV]: Well, folks, if it felt like it was getting colder today, 373 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,850 it wasn't your imagination. 374 00:16:57,890 --> 00:16:59,970 Jack Frost is back with a vengeance. 375 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,020 Temperatures should drop well below zero tonight 376 00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:05,190 and stay down in that range through the weekend. 377 00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:08,270 I'm getting my long johns out of the closet, Steve. How about you? 378 00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:10,730 Nighty-night. 379 00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:23,040 Okay, Dad, come on. What are you doing? 380 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,330 Just reading a bit before I retire. 381 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,880 Okay, Dad, you made your point. Now, come on. 382 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,800 You have to sleep upstairs tonight. 383 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,340 Sleep upstairs? But I'm Basement Artie. 384 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,930 I'd hate to lose that little moniker. 385 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:40,260 You know what? You can jump in anytime. 386 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,720 Um... c-come on, Arthur. 387 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,190 We both want you to come upstairs. 388 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:48,520 Unless you're positive you're okay down here. 389 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,520 -Doug. -Uh, come on up, Arthur. 390 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,940 Yeah, Dad. Stop being a martyr. 391 00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:53,860 You will freeze to death down here! 392 00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,030 Oh, will I? 393 00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:57,030 Well, let me tell you both something. 394 00:17:57,070 --> 00:17:59,320 I'd much rather freeze by the natural hand of God 395 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,450 than by the icy chill 396 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:03,410 you two have created up in that room! 397 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,410 Of course, I speak figuratively. 398 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,120 I very much want to live. 399 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,540 Okay, that's enough, Dad. 400 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,210 You are sleeping upstairs, 401 00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:13,800 and that is final. 402 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,340 No, I am not. 403 00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:16,760 -Yes, you are. -No! 404 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:17,930 CARRIE: Fine. Fine. You know what? 405 00:18:17,970 --> 00:18:19,470 You want to sleep down here? That's fine. 406 00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:20,970 But you will not have a blanket, 407 00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,890 and you will not have a pillow, 408 00:18:22,930 --> 00:18:24,770 and you will not have a light bulb--ow! 409 00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:26,270 Dad, will you just come upstairs? 410 00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,850 I will not. 411 00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:29,480 I will not sleep across the hall 412 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,770 from two people who do not want me near them, 413 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,780 and that's final! 414 00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:40,030 [SNORING] 415 00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:54,920 Could you move over? 416 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,420 I have one leg off the side as it is, right? 417 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:58,300 And give me some blanket! 418 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,340 Watch the knee! 419 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,660 [SIGHS] 420 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:31,370 ["THE WAY WE WERE" PLAYS] 421 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,010 Yeah, it was quite a time. 422 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:40,860 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 30119

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