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1
00:00:03,290 --> 00:00:04,830
MALE SINGER: *My eyesare gettin' weary*
2
00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:07,790
*My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,840
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,170
*On the QueensboroBridge tonight*
5
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:18,350
*But I don't care'cause all I wanna do*
6
00:00:18,390 --> 00:00:22,350
*Is cash my check anddrive right home to you*
7
00:00:23,730 --> 00:00:25,400
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
8
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,190
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:36,700
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
10
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,370
Do you remember that weird
history teacher
11
00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:39,660
we had in 9th grade?
12
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,830
Mr. Thorpe! With
theHello, Kittystickers
13
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:43,870
on his briefcase!
14
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,080
But he had that gorgeous
wife, remember?
15
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:47,670
I know. How
was that guy not gay?
16
00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:50,090
Ha ha ha!
17
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:51,170
Hey, remember
we cut his class
18
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:52,710
and went to Waldbaums?
19
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,760
Oh, yeah. You shoved a whole box
of Devil Dogs down your pants.
20
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:58,800
Hello? We had the munchies
and no cash.
21
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,640
Somebody
had to take charge.
22
00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:04,100
I wonder if there are any laws
they didn't break, huh?
23
00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:06,810
I assume there were some.
24
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:08,360
Ya.
25
00:01:10,230 --> 00:01:11,610
Oh, man,
it's getting late.
26
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:13,230
You know, we should
get on the road soon.
27
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,610
No. Stay!
28
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:16,400
We have a 2-hour drive.
29
00:01:16,450 --> 00:01:18,370
Well, who told you to move
to friggin' Rockland County?
30
00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:21,580
My new husband.
He works there. Blame him.
31
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,450
Guilty as charged.
32
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,580
Okay, well, you're not leaving
until you get dessert.
33
00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:26,710
Come on.
Give me a hand.
34
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:28,670
Oh, hey, hey!
Here's a name for you.
35
00:01:28,710 --> 00:01:30,420
Eric Wickstrom.
36
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:32,500
Ah! You know what?
I saw him, like a year ago.
37
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,170
He still
has his braces.
38
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:35,760
Ew! Ha ha ha!
39
00:01:37,510 --> 00:01:40,430
Well, that is a long time
to have braces, am I right?
40
00:01:40,470 --> 00:01:43,310
Maybe he has some sort
of chronic problem.
41
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,140
Let's hope so.
42
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,440
Ha ha ha!
43
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,650
Heh.
44
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:57,570
So what do you do up there
in Rockland County?
45
00:01:57,610 --> 00:01:59,280
Oh, I manage a company.
46
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,450
We make various paper products
from recycled goods--
47
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,580
Paper products.
48
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,830
That's great. Great.
49
00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:07,750
Lookin' at a big fan
right here.
50
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,210
You're at, um...
51
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,250
-I.P.S.
-Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
52
00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:15,380
What do you think
about the head of your company
53
00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:16,970
giving money
to the N.R.A.?
54
00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:18,470
I didn't realize he did.
55
00:02:18,510 --> 00:02:19,970
Half a million dollars.
56
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:21,800
You have to really
like assault rifles
57
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,260
to give that kind of money.
58
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,390
Maybe he just likes
Charlton Heston, you know?
59
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,770
[IMITATING HESTON]
"Get your hands off me,
you damn dirty ape.
60
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:33,190
[LAUGHS]
61
00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:34,820
Right, huh? That movie,
The Planet of the Apes,
62
00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:36,900
that was a good movie, huh?
63
00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:39,200
I think Heston's a Nazi.
64
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,700
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
65
00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:46,830
Hey, guys, we're gonna serve
dessert over there on the couch.
66
00:02:46,870 --> 00:02:47,950
Go. Go, go, go, go.
67
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,000
Heh! So, the couch?
68
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,330
All right.
69
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,630
Ahh! That's better, huh?
70
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,890
Heh.
71
00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:04,260
The couch.
72
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,020
Oh! Who are you voting
for on Tuesday?
73
00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:10,190
Hmm?
74
00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:12,350
The state assembly?
The runoff election?
75
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,230
Ah...yes.
76
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,570
Yes.
77
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:22,530
Do you like Scalas or Perry?
78
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,320
Uh, actually,
we got an oven mitt
79
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,280
from Perry, so probably him.
80
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:27,830
Her.
81
00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:29,370
Her. Her, yeah.
Yeah.
82
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,540
All right.
83
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,500
Arthur! Hey, my man!
84
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:34,500
What's happenin', buddy?
85
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:35,710
Get a hold of yourself, Douglas.
86
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,000
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
87
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,550
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
88
00:03:38,590 --> 00:03:39,920
Hang on a second, man.
89
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,380
Relax. Why don't
you meet Mike.
90
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:43,590
Love to, but I got
to catch myJag.
91
00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:49,020
He's nutty.
92
00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,770
So.
93
00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:56,400
Hey, Doug, we just
had a great idea.
94
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,610
What?
95
00:03:57,650 --> 00:03:59,730
What if Mike and Susie
stayed with us
96
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,700
for the whole
Thanksgiving weekend?
97
00:04:03,070 --> 00:04:04,030
What?
98
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,990
Yeah! They could stay up
in my office on the sofa bed.
99
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,290
What do you think?
100
00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:13,870
Right in front of them.
101
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,840
Right in front of them,
she asks me.
102
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,420
"Can they stay with us through
the whole Thanksgiving weekend?
103
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,760
You know, we've got that
spare room with the sofa bed."
104
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:22,880
That's rough.
105
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,470
What am I supposed to say?
106
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,430
"Yeah, sure, that's OK.
You know, I'd rather
107
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:28,970
put a cigar out on my ass,
but this is good too."
108
00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:33,350
All right, where the hell
is Spence already?
109
00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:34,690
The movie's starting
right now.
110
00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:37,560
I gotta spend 4 days
with this guy,
111
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,020
and with no buffer,
either,
112
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,530
'cause I know Carrie's
gonna peel off with her friend
113
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:42,610
and then just leave me there,
alone with him.
114
00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,610
I'm gonna die.
115
00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:48,030
That's it. I'm gonna die.
116
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,330
His unpleasantness
will actually stop my heart.
117
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,120
Where the hell
you been?
118
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,870
I know. I know. I had
this whole thing with my mom.
119
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,710
The super
was fixing the radiator
120
00:04:57,750 --> 00:05:00,340
and she didn't want me
to leave her alone with him.
121
00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:02,050
Why not?
122
00:05:02,090 --> 00:05:04,720
She kept saying
he was making bedroom eyes.
123
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,340
"Mom, he's 80.
He has glaucoma."
124
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,640
Ah, it was so stupid!
125
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,810
If it was so stupid, Spence,
why don't you just walk out?
126
00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:13,980
Hey, I wanted to,
that's why we had the fight.
127
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:16,390
But what could I do?
It's my mother.
128
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,400
We been hearin' the same crap
for the last 10 years.
129
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,360
"I need to drive
my mommy to the store.
130
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,650
"I have to cut her meat
up for her.
131
00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:22,980
I have to draw her
eyebrows on her."
132
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,690
-Shut up!
-All right!
133
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:25,900
Take it easy,
both of ya.
134
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,110
I'm not gonna
take it easy, Moose.
135
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,780
I missed a movie because
nobody told this wuss
136
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:31,990
that he's 32 years old,
not 8!
137
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,750
All right, you know what?
Forget about it.
138
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:36,080
That's it. I'm goin'
back to the firehouse.
139
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,580
And you know what,
Spence?
140
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,130
I hope the supe is ringin'
your mother's bell right now!
141
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,670
And not her doorbell!
I meant, like, he's ringin'--
142
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,800
I know what you meant!
143
00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:52,810
Don't worry
about him, all right?
144
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:54,720
He's just
in a bad mood.
145
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:02,440
By the way, we're not on a date.
Sit over there.
146
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,860
[SIGHS]
147
00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,030
Do you think
I'm a wuss?
148
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,540
Well, define "wuss."
149
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,910
Someone who keeps inventing
excuses to live at home
150
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,920
'cause he's just too scared
to grow up already.
151
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,420
-Define it again.
-Oh, that's it!
152
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:25,710
I'm a wuss!
153
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,880
I'm just a big, stupid,
doughy wussbag.
154
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,550
You don't have to be, you know.
Just move out already.
155
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,180
You know what?
I might just do that.
156
00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:33,560
Right
after Thanksgiving.
157
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,560
Well, why wait until
after Thanksgiving, ya know?
158
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,860
I don't know.
159
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,730
Give me some time
to ease into the idea.
160
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,570
Ease into the idea?
161
00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:46,780
I'm sorry. What
exactly does that mean?
162
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:50,570
-I don't speak wuss.
-Come on.
163
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:51,990
It's obvious, man.
You don't wanna move out!
164
00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:53,370
I do so!
165
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:55,080
No. You know what someone
who wants to move out says?
166
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,910
They say, "I wanna move out
right now. Tonight!
167
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,540
"That's right. Yeah.
168
00:06:58,580 --> 00:07:00,790
"I'm gonna find a friend
who's got, like, a spare room
169
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:04,840
"with a sofa bed,
and I'm gonna stay there
170
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,880
"through the Thanksgiving
weekend if necessary,
171
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,670
but I'm takin'
my life back tonight!"
172
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,680
Ah, what's the use.
173
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,810
Doug?
174
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:17,930
Yeah?
175
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,240
Ahh...
176
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,620
good...
177
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:36,490
-Aah!
-Aah!
178
00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:37,790
No!
179
00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:45,630
Naked?
180
00:07:45,670 --> 00:07:47,050
Naked.
181
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,470
How--how naked?
182
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:55,350
Any nakeder,
and I'd have seen organs.
183
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,970
The inside ones.
184
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:02,230
Which I would
have preferred.
185
00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:03,190
Well, I'm sorry.
By the time we got back here
186
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:04,600
with all his stuff,
187
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,900
-you were already asleep.
-Well, what happened?
188
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,360
Why is he even here?
189
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,400
He got into a huge fight
with his mother,
190
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,440
decided he wanted
to move out tonight.
191
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:14,530
So I--I told him.
192
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,120
I said, "Look, man,
you can stay with us
193
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:17,530
until you find a place
of your own."
194
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,040
Well, how long do you think
that's gonna be?
195
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,160
I don't know.
How long does it take
196
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,540
to find an apartment,
ya know?
197
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:23,420
A week? 2 weeks?
198
00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:25,670
Doug?! 2 weeks?
199
00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,670
The Gladdens are coming!
200
00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:29,000
Huh?
201
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,340
Mike and Susie?
202
00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:32,050
They're supposed to stay
in that room for 4 days?
203
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,550
Didn't you even
think of that?
204
00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:37,390
Excuse me. No, I didn't
think of that, okay?
205
00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:39,390
My best friend's in the middle
of a huge personal crisis.
206
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:40,470
What am I supposed to
say to him,
207
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,730
"Gee, could you be out
by Thursday
208
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,140
'cause we're
havin' company over."
209
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:45,310
Youare unbelievable!
210
00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:48,400
-Okay.
-No! No! No!
211
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,360
No.
212
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,650
Yeah, well, hey,
I'm sorry I snapped.
213
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,410
But this is a man's life
we're talkin' about.
214
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:58,070
Okay?
215
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,080
Ech! 32 years old, and he
picks this week to grow up.
216
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,080
Bad timing, I know.
217
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,290
So...
218
00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:09,960
should we call
the Gladdens and cancel?
219
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,420
No. No need to do that.
220
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:16,340
Just help Spence
get an apartment by Thursday.
221
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:17,970
Then they can still come,
right?
222
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,060
I'll do everything in my power
to make that happen.
223
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:25,350
All right, Sue,
so I'll call you
224
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,440
as soon as I know
that room is free.
225
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,770
Hey, hey, hey.
Have her tell Mike I said,
226
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:31,150
"What's up?"
227
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:37,990
Uh, tell Mike, Doug says,
"What's up?"
228
00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:40,580
I don't know.
229
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:43,410
Okay, sweetie,
230
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:46,000
I'll talk to you soon.
Bye-bye.
231
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,580
Okay, with any luck,
232
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,330
this will
still work out.
233
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,630
Good morning, my esteemed
host and hostess.
234
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:56,630
Morning, Spence.
235
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,760
Hey, buddy,
grab yourself some eggs.
236
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,800
Ooh! Don't mind if I do.
237
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,390
By the way, Carrie,
238
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:04,180
I'm sorry about our
little encounter last night.
239
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,600
In my old life,
I was discouraged from, uh...
240
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,650
locking
the bathroom door.
241
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:09,650
Okay, well...
242
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:10,650
new life.
243
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:12,520
Hey.
244
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,190
Hear! Hear!
245
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:15,490
Man, I am exhilarated.
246
00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:18,610
I really did it!
I moved out! I did it!
247
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,410
You realize you're not
done doing it, right?
248
00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:23,540
Yeah. I was gonna get
the paper
249
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,330
and start lookin'
at places today.
250
00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:26,750
Your damn right
you're gonna start today,
251
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:28,710
'cause I'm gonna be on you
like a cheap suit, okay?
252
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:34,050
I could be your best friend,
or I could be your worst enemy.
253
00:10:34,090 --> 00:10:36,550
The choice is yours.
All I know is, you're
getting an apartment.
254
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,090
We are not running
a charity around here.
255
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,760
Okay?
256
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,510
The whole world
doesn't revolve around--
Okay, Doug, relax.
257
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,350
He said he was gonna
start looking today.
258
00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:50,270
Yeah, hesaysa lot
of things.
259
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:53,190
You and me, we go today
after work, you got it?
260
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:55,230
Sure. Happy
for the help.
261
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,320
Okay then.
262
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,700
Good morning.
263
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:00,860
Good morning,
Daddy.
264
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,410
What's this?
265
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,830
Spence moved out of
his mom's house last night,
266
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:10,080
so he's gonna
stay with us
267
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,580
until he gets
a place of his own.
268
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:13,630
Uh-huh. I see.
269
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:15,340
I must have missed
the family meeting
270
00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:16,760
where all this was decided.
271
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,630
There was
no family meeting, Arthur.
272
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,510
Uh-huh.
Well, God bless fascism.
273
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:28,770
So, where is
the little fella staying?
274
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:31,850
On the sofa bed
in my office.
275
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,100
Your office?
276
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,310
Oh, yes.
277
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,400
The warm,
insulated room upstairs.
278
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,440
I'm familiar
with it.
279
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,860
Now, if you'll
excuse me,
280
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,910
I'll return
to my dungeon.
281
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:43,280
Dad, would
you stop it?
282
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,410
Sit down
and have breakfast.
283
00:11:45,450 --> 00:11:46,490
I've lost
my appetite.
284
00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:48,620
Besides, he's sitting
in my chair.
285
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,120
There's another one!
286
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,460
Not with my initials
carved in it!
287
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,300
Hey, Doug, I'm home.
288
00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:58,760
Hey, buddy,
how ya feeling?
289
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,630
Ah, fantastic!
290
00:12:00,670 --> 00:12:03,590
All day at work, I just had
this energy, this mojo.
291
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,680
This pretty girl,
as I was selling her a token,
292
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,180
smiled at me.
293
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:09,430
She knew.
294
00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:12,390
There is no question
about it.
295
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,150
You look radiant.
296
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:14,940
All right,
look what I got.
297
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,440
I got theDaily News.
298
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,230
I got thePost.
I got thePenny Saver.
299
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,650
I even circled
some possibilities
300
00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:21,780
during my lunch hour.
301
00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:23,320
Wow! You are a mad man.
302
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,820
Oh, man, I am fearless.
303
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:25,910
I'm psyched!
304
00:12:25,950 --> 00:12:27,580
Good!
305
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:28,790
All right, well, let's find
you a place quick
306
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:29,950
before you come
to your senses
307
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,790
and realize how scared
you should be, huh?
308
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:34,670
What do you mean?
309
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,750
Nothin'.
310
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:37,290
Okay...
311
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,290
Ooh, here's one.
312
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,380
Look at that.
That looks good.
313
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,670
"Corona Heights,
2 bedroom, one bath."
314
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:42,760
That sounds interesting.
315
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,220
Yeah, and it says,
"Immediate occupancy."
316
00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:45,300
Should we go
check it out?
317
00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:46,640
-Sure.
-All right.
318
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,930
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
319
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,220
What? What?
320
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,520
Mmm...first floor.
321
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,640
I don't feel safe
with you on the first floor.
322
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,640
Why not?
323
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,480
Why not?
A burglar walks by,
324
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,310
"Hey, look at that open window,
slow, fat kid."
325
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,320
-Eee! Eee! Eee!
-Okay, look...
326
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,400
Okay! I didn't think
about that.
327
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,530
But what about this one?
328
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:06,870
Oh, man, I deliver
to that building.
329
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:07,990
Oh.
330
00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:09,370
You like rats?
331
00:13:11,330 --> 00:13:12,330
Not so much.
332
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:13,330
Mmm...
333
00:13:13,370 --> 00:13:14,960
Oh, but this one
is perfect.
334
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,500
Yeah. That is perfect.
335
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,250
And when exactly
did you win the lottery?
336
00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:19,540
'Cause I don't remember
hearing about it.
337
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,340
Come on!
This is ridiculous.
338
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:23,300
One of these has to be okay.
339
00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:24,380
You know what?
If you know it all,
340
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,720
then you go out
and look for yourself.
341
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,430
Take the first place you see.
Have a great time.
342
00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:28,850
Wait! Don't go.
343
00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:30,350
I want your help.
344
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:33,930
Okay, then listen to me,
all right?
345
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,940
Finding an apartment
is the most important decision
346
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:37,480
you'll ever make.
347
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,860
You know, if you pick the wrong
place, there's no undoing it.
348
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,400
Couldn't I just move?
349
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,690
Can I finish
my thought, please?
350
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,530
Sorry.
351
00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,450
Okay, now, if we're
gonna do this together,
352
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,240
help me help you.
353
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,490
Okay, what's
the first step?
354
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,960
So, huh, you feelin',
you feelin' better?
355
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,880
Not really. I kinda wanted
to go look at apartments.
356
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,880
But you kinda wanna
play some defense 'cause...
357
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,590
boom! I just scored
on your white ass!
358
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:10,390
Hello, Douglas.
359
00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:12,350
-Hey.
-Hi, Arthur.
360
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:13,390
Oh...
361
00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:15,890
good evening.
362
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,850
I heard laughter and
some rather ribald comments
363
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:18,980
coming from here,
364
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,400
so I thought
I would investigate.
365
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,070
Just playin' some foosball.
366
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:25,860
Funny. I was
under the impression
367
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,320
that foosball was our game.
368
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,700
Arthur, we played
half a game last March,
369
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,740
and you scored three goals
on yourself.
370
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:37,040
And those memories
mean nothing to you?
371
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,670
Look, we're in the middle
of a very important
372
00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:40,670
tournament here, all right?
373
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:42,090
You and I
can play another time.
374
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,710
Fine. Go ahead and play
with your fancy new friend!
375
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,630
-See if I care!
-Okay, bye-bye.
376
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:48,590
Doug, enough of this.
377
00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:50,680
I wanna go look
at some places.
378
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,600
Good God! You want some cheese
with that whine?
379
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,310
It's after 6:00.
You can do what you want.
380
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:56,430
I'm gonna look at
some of these listings
381
00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:58,020
before the whole day
is shot!
382
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,480
We're in the middle
of a game here!
383
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,900
Doug, what is going on?
384
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:02,110
It's like you don't want me
to get my own apartment!
385
00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,610
-I do!
-Then let me go look!
386
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:04,770
No! No!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
387
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,360
Come on. Come on, please.
388
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,450
All right, look, you're right.
I want you to stay.
389
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:10,950
I need you around here
for a while.
390
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,370
Why?
391
00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:14,740
Well, the truth is...
392
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,120
it's me and Carrie.
393
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,830
The marriage is in trouble.
394
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:21,960
Oh, God. Really?
395
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,960
Yeah. It's--
it's a mess.
396
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,590
Well, you--you do a good job
of hiding it.
397
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:29,880
Yeah. Well, sometimes
you gotta put on a show.
398
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,470
It must be
really difficult now.
399
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:36,350
I mean, especially
during the holidays.
400
00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:38,100
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
401
00:15:38,140 --> 00:15:40,020
But at least with
you here, she'll, uh...
402
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:41,640
she'll
watch her drinking.
403
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:42,850
Oh!
404
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:46,900
Aw, jeez!
405
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:48,400
Jeez, man--
406
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,360
Tsk!
407
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,820
Come here, buddy.
Yeah...
408
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:51,780
Come here.
409
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,370
Aw, that's
good medicine.
410
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,750
Hey, let's
go play some foosball.
411
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:02,120
Sure.
412
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,630
You gotta promise me.
413
00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:05,630
You can't tell Carrie
anything about this, all right?
414
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:07,130
-Oh...
-All right?
415
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:08,920
As far as she's concerned,
we're still apartment-hunting.
416
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,920
Hey, you were there for me.
I'm here for you.
417
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,800
Okay.
418
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,760
There they are.
419
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,890
And they won't
let me play!
420
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,560
Doug, what is goin' on here?
421
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,730
I thought you guys were out
lookin' for apartments?
422
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:27,480
We were workin' on it.
We're takin' a break here.
423
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,940
Could I talk to you
outside for a second?
424
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,400
Sure.
425
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:37,200
What is goin' on here?
426
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,790
I know. It's brutal,
isn't it?
427
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:41,080
He's fightin' me
every step of the way.
428
00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:46,460
What do you mean,
he's fighting you?
429
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,550
You open up a newspaper,
you point to the rentals,
430
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,630
you say, "Here,
you, live. Go!"
431
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:51,720
Yeah. I know. I know.
432
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,720
Look through the window.
433
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:53,760
Are there not, like,
several papers
434
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,880
on that table right there?
435
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,050
Okay, so what's the problem?
436
00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:57,640
The problem is--
I'll tell ya--
437
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,640
he's completely petrified
of the idea
438
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,640
of living on his own.
439
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,100
He's like a child,
you know?
440
00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:03,850
Twice today,
he called me "Mommy."
441
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,600
Once..."Nanna."
442
00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:08,570
Oh, my God.
443
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:09,900
What should we do?
You want me to go talk to him?
444
00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:11,570
No. No, no, no.
445
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:14,820
Look, he'll get real embarrassed
if he knew I told you.
446
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:16,030
I'll tell you what.
Let me work on it,
447
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,780
and I'll see if I
can nudge him along.
448
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:20,240
Okay, well, do you think you can
nudge him out by Thursday?
449
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,080
I think I can give it
one hell of a try.
450
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,910
Thank you.
451
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,590
Oh! And let my father
play foosball with you.
452
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:32,010
Sorry, Arthur.
No go.
453
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,760
[**]
454
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:43,600
So Carrie thinks that Spence
is afraid to get a place,
455
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,060
and Spencer thinks that you
and Carrie are on the outs?
456
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,400
Yeah, and I told them both
not to talk
457
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,310
to each other about it.
458
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,900
So, how's that sound?
You think it'll all hold up?
459
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,740
Sure. Hell, Moose,
you're great at this.
460
00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:56,990
You know, you could fool around
on her if you wanted to.
461
00:17:57,030 --> 00:18:00,240
Whoa, whoa, whoa, man!
I love my wife.
462
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,240
But thank you.
463
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,330
You're welcome.
464
00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:06,750
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Yep. All right,
465
00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:08,670
looks like it's gonna be
a Mike-free Thanksgiving.
466
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,920
It's just that...
What?
467
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,260
For some reason,
I just keep thinkin' like,
468
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,640
I overlooked something.
469
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,270
Hi.
470
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:30,150
Still here, I see.
471
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,400
Oh, yeah.
472
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,650
Are you done
in the bathroom?
473
00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,030
Oh, I'm done.
474
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,280
-Oh, darling?
-Yeah?
475
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,370
There's a leaky faucet
up there.
476
00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:45,700
You may wanna look
at it.
477
00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:48,670
Okay.
478
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:52,840
[DOOR OPENS]
479
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,130
-CARRIE: Oh, man!
-SPENCE: Aah!
480
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:55,050
CARRIE:
Oh! Spence!
481
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,970
[DOOR SLAMS]
482
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,430
I think my point is made.
483
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,010
He doesn't belong here.
484
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,100
Oh! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
485
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:08,810
Spence, you have to stop
letting me see you naked!
486
00:19:08,850 --> 00:19:11,480
It's very, very disturbing!
487
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,860
I know. I'm sorry.
488
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,860
God, what
is the big deal anyway?
489
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,150
About what?
490
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:17,490
Look, I know you're scared,
491
00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:19,200
but you just gotta suck it up
and get your own place
492
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,360
and stop calling
my husband, "Mommy"!
493
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,370
Oh, God! You're drunk.
494
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:32,080
What are you talking about?
495
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,210
What areyou
talking about?
496
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:40,260
Mike is very, very annoying.
497
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,850
So all this time, just to keep
Mike and Susie from coming,
498
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:47,270
you've been
stopping Spence
499
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:49,140
from
getting an apartment?
500
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,850
I can't say I've been
makin' it easy for him.
501
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:55,400
Did he even want to move out
of his mom's in the first place?
502
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,070
I like to think so.
503
00:19:58,190 --> 00:19:59,940
You are psychotic!
504
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,860
I can't believe
you did all this
505
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:05,370
just to avoid spending
one weekend with a boring guy.
506
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:08,040
Look, I admit it, okay?
507
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,370
I was a little out
of my mind.
508
00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:11,120
I was like one of those mothers
who lifts up a car
509
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,420
to save her baby.
510
00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:13,920
The adrenaline was pumpin'!
511
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,040
I'm sorry.
512
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:16,840
Yeah. Sorry. Okay. Thanks.
513
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,260
I mean, Susie is one
of my best friends.
514
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,840
I never get to
see her anymore.
515
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,180
This was a perfect
opportunity for us to spend
516
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:24,430
a little time together.
517
00:20:25,930 --> 00:20:27,390
Look, look...
518
00:20:27,430 --> 00:20:29,310
I caused this problem,
all right?
519
00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:31,390
So I'm gonna fix it.
520
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,350
How? How? It's already
Tuesday night.
521
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,480
How are you gonna find Spence
an apartment in one day?
522
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,980
Well, hey, I don't know
if I can for sure,
523
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:38,320
but I'll tell ya this:
we will apartment-hunt
524
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,070
all day long, okay?
525
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:43,110
Sunup to sundown,
we will pound that pavement.
526
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,450
That is my pledge
to you!
527
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:53,370
[SCREECH]
528
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,470
Do you realize
how much raw sewage
529
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:12,480
is seeping into
that groundwater every day?
530
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,150
No.
531
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:20,980
8,900 cubic meters.
532
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,990
Well, all right. I knew
it was in the 80s, but wow.
533
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,580
God, this has been
so much fun!
534
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,290
You know what,
you guys have to come up
to our place for Easter.
535
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:34,960
You know what? Doug and I
both have that week off.
536
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,330
We're there.
537
00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:37,920
Right, Doug?
538
00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:56,480
Yo, Spence! Hustle it up!
539
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,560
-I'm coming!
-The turkey's ready.
540
00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:02,690
Has anybody seen my loofah?
541
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,320
[**]
37885
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