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1
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:05,170
[**]
2
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,310
Wow. You got a whole world
going on in there, huh?
3
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,610
Huh?
4
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,610
Your--your
nightstand.
5
00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:32,150
What else
you got in there?
6
00:00:32,190 --> 00:00:33,450
Oh.
7
00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:35,410
I don't know, uh...
8
00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:37,780
flashlight, ear plugs,
deck of cards,
9
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:40,870
nose spray,
magnifying glass,
10
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,410
Certs, Velamints,
and, uh...
11
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,620
Swiss Army knife.
12
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:52,090
I got some loose change
and a roll of caps.
13
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:55,510
So, uh, give me
some of your stuff.
14
00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,510
No. Get your own stuff.
15
00:00:58,550 --> 00:00:59,600
Come on, Carrie.
16
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,220
I need something big
to start my drawer.
17
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:02,310
What's--what's that book?
18
00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:03,520
Tuesdays with Morrie.
19
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,230
-Give me that.
-No! I am reading that.
20
00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:07,400
Now get back
to your own side.
21
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,110
Fine.
22
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,860
And I don't need you
or your drawer.
23
00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:15,610
Oh, look
what rolled down.
24
00:01:15,650 --> 00:01:18,490
Cherry Chapstick.
Huh?
25
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,330
Ooh. Oh, yeah.
26
00:01:22,370 --> 00:01:24,830
Oh, bring it.
Bring it, bring it.
27
00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:27,290
Soothing.
28
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:29,750
Yeah, it doesn't feel
so good when it's turned
29
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,130
around on you,
now, does it?
30
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,590
Son of a bitch.
31
00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:41,260
MALE SINGER: *My eyesare gettin' weary*
32
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:44,430
*My back is gettin' tight*
33
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:46,270
*I'm sitting herein traffic*
34
00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:49,270
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
35
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:54,610
*But I don't care'cause all I want to do*
36
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:59,160
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
37
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,910
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
38
00:02:01,950 --> 00:02:06,580
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
39
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,510
MALE ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
And we are back.
40
00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:17,880
New York down 2.
41
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,010
14 seconds to go.
42
00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:22,850
Jones inbounds...
43
00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,180
Come on!
44
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,770
-Put it up, will ya?
-No, no. Plenty of time.
45
00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:27,560
Plenty of time.
You gotta work the clock.
46
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,890
Wait--wait for your shot.
47
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,560
TV ANNOUNCER:...double team,immediately.
48
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,110
Good pressure defense.
49
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:34,480
I think that's enough waiting.
You might want to shoot it now.
50
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,820
Shoot it!
51
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:38,740
TV ANNOUNCER:To the topof the key...yes!
52
00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:39,950
That's what I'm
talkin' about!
53
00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:41,610
DOUG: All right, boys,
54
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:43,700
settle in, we're looking
at some sweet overtime.
55
00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:45,790
CARRIE: Doug!
56
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,910
Not now, not now.
57
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,250
What's going on?
58
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:51,580
Oh, she wants me to pick up
medicine for Arthur
59
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,920
at the drug store,
but...it's overtime.
60
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,250
CARRIE: Doug!
61
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,630
It's all right.
I got this under control.
62
00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:02,180
Doug! Answer me!
63
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:03,970
What, honey?
I can't hear you.
64
00:03:04,010 --> 00:03:06,010
I'm working on the car.
65
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:08,980
I can see your legs.
66
00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:12,310
Yeah, I--I
just finished.
67
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:13,520
By the way,
keep your eye on the...
68
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,030
[MUFFLED]
Caminator. Hump.
69
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:19,990
CARRIE: Did you get
my dad's ear drops yet?
70
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,200
I'm gonna go
right after the game.
71
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,280
You have to go now.
72
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,160
The drug store closes
in 15 minutes!
73
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,990
Carrie,
but it's overtime!
74
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,700
Fine. Watch
your stupid game.
75
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,580
Putz.
76
00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:34,920
Look, Dad,
Doug's busy right now,
77
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,300
and I've got
all this work that I've
got to get done tonight,
78
00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:39,840
so you think your
swimmer's ear thing
will be OK until tomorrow,
79
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,970
because I can pick up the drops
first thing tomorrow morning.
80
00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:43,590
Is that OK?
81
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,100
You realize I can't hear
a word you're saying?
82
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,180
I'll go get the drops.
83
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,100
-Come again?
-I'll go get the drops!
84
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,270
-Foul. Come on, give a foul!
-[SHORT GAME BUZZER SOUNDS]
85
00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:59,860
Your leg is touching
me again.
86
00:04:01,030 --> 00:04:02,860
I'll be back
in a little while.
87
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,610
Whoa. Whoa,
where you going?
88
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,240
Where do you think
I'm going?
89
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,280
Carrie, I said
I'd get the ear drops.
90
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,120
I need some cushioned
insoles anyway.
91
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,290
Believe me, I want to go.
92
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:12,290
Well, that's touching,
93
00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:14,330
but Walgreens
closes at 10:00.
94
00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:15,960
I'll go
to a different place.
95
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,090
Walgreens has his
prescription on file.
96
00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,750
All right, I'll do it,
I'll go--
97
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,220
-Yeah! Whoo!
-What happened?!
98
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,680
Good-bye.
99
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,720
Wait a second,
Carr'...
100
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,300
I'll go.
101
00:04:28,890 --> 00:04:30,770
[**]
102
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,850
I'm back! And I got
your stupid insoles.
103
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,900
-Ow!
-Ow?
104
00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:39,900
They're foam!
105
00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:41,780
Where you been for so long?
It's almost 11:00.
106
00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:43,070
Well, I was lucky enough
107
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:44,990
to arrive at the pharmacy
108
00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:47,240
just as their
computers went down,
109
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,700
so they sent me
to another drug store
110
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:50,160
where the computers
were up...
111
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,700
but no drops.
112
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,080
So my father
still can't hear,
113
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,120
and I'm going to be up way
past midnight working.
114
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,710
Thank you so much
for your help.
115
00:04:57,750 --> 00:05:00,380
Look. Look at this.
I'm folding laundry. Huh?
116
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:03,130
You know what? These don't fit
me so well anymore.
117
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:08,260
Ha. You're
a funny guy.
118
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:11,220
Carrie, come on!
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
119
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:13,020
I should've went
to the drug store for you.
120
00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:15,390
Uh, the Knicks lost,
by the way,
121
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,020
if it makes you
feel any better.
122
00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:18,360
Yeah, I'm dancin'.
123
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,360
I swear to God, Doug,
it's like when you--
124
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,360
When you're in front
of that stupid TV,
125
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,110
nothing else exists.
126
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:24,940
Look, I tell--
how about this.
127
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:27,070
Tomorrow I'll go pick up
your father's ear drops,
128
00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:28,950
and any time after this
he needs ear drops
129
00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:29,950
or nose drops or drops
130
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,790
for any orifice
above the waist,
131
00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:33,240
I'm your guy.
132
00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:36,370
Hey, speakin' of which,
you wanna...
133
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:37,750
you wanna mess around?
134
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:40,290
Okay, first of all,
135
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,300
that was the worst segue
I've ever heard,
136
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:45,050
and second of all, no.
I've got at least
137
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,800
2 more hours
of work to do.
138
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,140
Come on. I'll do that thing
that really gets you goin'.
139
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:50,140
You know, the thing?
140
00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:51,810
You want me to do
the thing?
141
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,680
You want me
to do the thing...
142
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,930
I'll do it, I'll do it,
I'll do the thing.
143
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,350
Okay, I have no idea what
you're talkin' about.
144
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:10,030
Cereal. Huh.
145
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,200
I had you last night, too.
146
00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:31,850
Carrie!
147
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,310
-Did you call me?
-Yeah.
148
00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:40,400
Could I see you in the garage
for a second, please?
149
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,900
Come here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
150
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,150
Huh?!
151
00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:49,740
Where's your TV?
152
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:51,200
I'm thinkin'
it was stolen.
153
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,740
Oh, my God!
154
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:56,120
Well, how--do you think
somebody broke in here?
155
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,040
You know what,
that's one theory.
156
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,870
Here's another. They came in
through the garage door
157
00:06:59,910 --> 00:07:01,210
that you left open!
158
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:02,290
What?
159
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:03,880
No. I did not!
160
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,210
Did, Carrie. Did!
161
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,170
Okay, you were the last one
to use it. It's open.
162
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,380
That means--try and stay
with me here--
163
00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:11,090
that you
left it open!
164
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,510
Doug, would you stop
yelling at me, okay?
165
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:17,060
Because I know I closed it.
I remember distinctly.
166
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:19,180
I drove into the garage,
167
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,060
got out of the car,
168
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,310
walked to the door, and...
169
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,570
Oh.
170
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,940
Oh?! Innocent people don't
say, "Oh," Carrie.
171
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,410
Well, my cell phone rang.
172
00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:33,910
It was my boss,
yelling at me
173
00:07:33,950 --> 00:07:36,080
about the stuff
I hadn't faxed to him yet.
174
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,200
I had--I had the cell phone
in one hand
175
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,370
and your insoles
in the other,
176
00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:41,160
and I--I guess I forgot
to hit the button.
177
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,210
Oh, come on!
178
00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:45,210
Well, the--the button's
too small
179
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,840
and it's not
lit up or anything.
180
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,920
Don't you dare
blame that button.
181
00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:52,260
That button's been
nothing but good to us.
182
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,050
Well, you know what?
183
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,430
If you would have
picked up the ear drops
184
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:59,100
like you said you would,
185
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:00,640
this never
would have happened.
186
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,770
No, that's not why it happened.
I'll tell you why it happened.
187
00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:03,100
It happened 'cause
you wanted it to happen.
188
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:05,900
-What?
-You heard me.
189
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,280
It all makes sense now,
you know. You hated my TV.
190
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,860
So now you wished it into
the corn field, and it's gone.
191
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,450
The corn field?
192
00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:17,910
Yeah. Hi, classicTwilight Zone?
Sci-Fi Channel?
193
00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:18,950
Ever hear of it? No?
194
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:20,370
Hey, let me show you.
195
00:08:20,410 --> 00:08:22,330
Oh! I can't!
196
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:30,260
Would you stop
getting so upset?
197
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,090
We'll just call
the insurance guy.
198
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:34,510
Insurance? Oh, yeah.
199
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,850
Yeah. We paid
exactly $2,688 for it.
200
00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:41,310
Oh, I love
insurance.
201
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:44,020
It's a great invention.
202
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:45,600
Electronics Depot.
That's right.
203
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,650
Hey, you know, the price of big
screens has really come down.
204
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:49,360
I should take the extra
money and get a Discman.
205
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,570
You know. Start power
walkin'. Tone my abs.
206
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:52,990
It's going to be
a whole new me.
207
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:54,900
[VOCALIZING]
208
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:00,200
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
209
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,120
-Uh-huh.
-What?
210
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,670
Okay. Well, just
send us the check.
211
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:08,920
Send the check.
Send the check.
212
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,500
Yeah!
213
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,300
Ooh.
214
00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:14,050
That's awesome, man. Look, you
screw up, I get a brand-new TV.
215
00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,590
I love you, you dizzy
little dingbat.
216
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:18,970
-Uh, Doug?
-Yeah?
217
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:21,260
They're only
giving us $188.
218
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:25,520
But that's
not enough.
219
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,520
I know. When I took
out the policy,
220
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,230
I asked for the highest
deductible--2,500.
221
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,190
What did you do
that for?
222
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:32,440
To get the lowest
premium.
223
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,940
I didn't think we were
ever gonna get robbed.
224
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:36,610
Well, then why did we even get
insurance in the first place?
225
00:09:36,650 --> 00:09:38,070
Because the...
226
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,240
commercial made me cry.
227
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,160
And I guess that's what
you're supposed to do.
228
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,330
Oh. Yeah. You know what else
you're supposed to do?
229
00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:47,370
You're supposed to press
little buttons
230
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,330
that close giant doors!
231
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:53,050
Look, Doug.
I made a mistake,
232
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:56,340
and I am very, very sorry.
233
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,130
But there's nothing
that we can do about it now,
234
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,550
so you just have
to let it go.
235
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:02,060
Let it go? Let it g--Carrie,
the TV was important to me.
236
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,220
You know. If it
was important to you,
237
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:04,220
I don't think
it would be so easy
238
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,480
for you to let it go.
239
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,560
You know, there are other
things to do in life
240
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,270
other than sitting
on your ass and watching TV.
241
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,230
Oh, yeah? Like what?
242
00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:14,730
I don't know.
243
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,490
How 'bout I buy you
that Discman, huh?
244
00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:18,240
Work on your abs
like you said you would.
245
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,700
Oh, get real. That was never
gonna happen, and you know it.
246
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,670
I--I can't
believe it.
247
00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:36,340
Just last night we were
sittin' here...
248
00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:37,760
watchin'.
249
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,260
Not a care in the world.
250
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,850
Now it's gone.
251
00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:45,350
You never think it'll
happen to you, huh?
252
00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:47,560
Those bastards!
253
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:51,900
How you doin', man?
254
00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:52,900
Look at this.
255
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:54,020
My TV had
picture-in-picture
256
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,860
freeze frame.
257
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:57,440
That's deep.
258
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,530
Channel lock and a whole bunch
of other great features.
259
00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:03,530
I never bothered
to read the manual.
260
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,620
I always thought
there'd be time.
261
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,370
5:00. Right about now
we'd be watchin'
262
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,460
the college football
postgame show.
263
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:14,540
No, man. We would've
flipped over
264
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,420
to catch the end
of the golf.
265
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:19,260
Golf blows. We'd be watching the
postgame show or maybe NASCAR.
266
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:20,470
No. Come on.
267
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:21,430
Wouldn't we want
a change of pace?
268
00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:23,050
Like a double
dose ofRhoda?
269
00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:24,760
No. I'm not
watchin'Rhoda.
270
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,060
I'm not
watchin' NASCAR.
271
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,560
Will you guys stop it,
all right? Look, it's gone!
272
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,480
Okay? There's no sports.
There's noRhoda.
273
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,560
There's a wall! All right?
274
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,270
We can watch the rake
or the air filter.
275
00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,690
The choice is yours.
276
00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:57,590
So where'd you get this?
277
00:11:57,630 --> 00:11:58,840
New place.
278
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:03,800
I like the soup.
279
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,930
Actually, it's bisque.
280
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:09,350
What's the difference?
281
00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:10,640
I don't know.
282
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,730
Actually, I think bisque
is thicker.
283
00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:16,820
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
284
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:17,940
Thicker. Yep.
Yeah.
285
00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:18,980
[CLEARS THROAT]
286
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,370
So how was your day?
287
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:31,710
It was good.
288
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,870
Lots of packages.
289
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,590
Yours?
290
00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:39,630
Fine, fine.
291
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:43,930
Actually,
they finally...
292
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:46,140
gave me
a new computer.
293
00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:48,640
Really nice one,
too.
294
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,100
Fast modem,
big screen.
295
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,860
Sorry.
296
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,830
Okay. Dad, if you
don't sit still,
297
00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:15,830
I'm going to be
cutting more than hair.
298
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:17,580
Not too much
off the top.
299
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,170
I want that
Robert Preston look.
300
00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:21,710
Even if I knew who that was,
301
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,130
I couldn't pull it off.
302
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,680
Just do your best
and lose the attitude.
303
00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:30,180
I'm--I'm sorry, Dad.
It's just...
304
00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:31,720
I don't know.
Things are still weird
305
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:32,970
between Doug and me.
306
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,690
It's this whole TV thing.
307
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:38,020
I wish I could get him
to just let this thing go.
308
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,610
Oh...
309
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:42,690
the potent cocktail
of human emotion.
310
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:47,530
Hey, Dad, remember when
I was, like, 16
311
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:48,870
and we had that
really big fight
312
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,870
over some college guy
I was dating?
313
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:51,910
Oh, yes.
314
00:13:51,950 --> 00:13:54,620
Russell
from Suny Binghamton.
315
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:56,080
Wow. Heh.
316
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,630
Anyway, uh, remember
during the fight, I--
317
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,040
I threw my shoe
at the bookcase
318
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,750
and it broke your favorite
Herb Alpert
319
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,170
and the Tijuana
Brass album?
320
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,130
Herb Alpert? No--no.
321
00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:08,180
It was my Allan
Sherman record.
322
00:14:08,220 --> 00:14:10,600
No. It was
the Herb Alpert record.
323
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,010
But anyway,
that's not the point.
324
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,470
You were so mad at me
325
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,430
for breaking that record.
326
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,140
What--what was it that...
327
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,770
made you finally forgive me?
328
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:23,570
You wanna know
why I forgave you?
329
00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:25,820
Because
you're my daughter
330
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:27,450
and I love you.
331
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,620
My God,
your head is tiny.
332
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,910
Anyway,
so that was it?
333
00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:37,870
You forgave me
because you love me?
334
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,250
Well, also because
you went out
335
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:40,500
and spent
your hard-earned money
336
00:14:40,540 --> 00:14:42,540
to replace my record.
337
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:43,710
I never replaced it.
338
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,880
Course you did.
339
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,470
It's right on my shelf.
340
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:49,090
I exercised
this morning to...
341
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:52,550
Hello Muddah,Hello Faddah.
342
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,220
Yes. That's 'cause
I never broke that record.
343
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,270
I broke your
Herb Alpert record.
344
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:57,560
Did you?
345
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,520
Yes.
346
00:14:58,560 --> 00:14:59,640
South of the Border?
347
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:00,980
I smashed it to bits.
348
00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:03,940
Oh, so that's why I haven't
heard it in 15 years.
349
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,690
Carrie Spooner,
350
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,610
I'm very disappointed
with you.
351
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:10,110
Leave the room!
352
00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:13,660
Thanks
for the talk, Dad.
353
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:14,950
Sorry, pussycat.
354
00:15:14,990 --> 00:15:17,080
Kiss won't save you
this time.
355
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,960
So she was just
screamin' at me.
356
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,260
Finally I just said,
"Lady, 2 words:
357
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,670
Fed Ex."
358
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,260
You're lucky. I had
to deliver to the guy
359
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:32,510
wearing a towel again.
360
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:33,800
-Ooh.
-Yeah. It's brutal.
361
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,680
You know. He's movin'
and he's signin'.
362
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,680
I just don't have faith
363
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,730
-in that tuck.
-Hmm.
364
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:40,770
Hey. Want to get your ass
kicked in foosball?
365
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:42,650
Yeah. Let's do it.
Come on.
366
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,190
I tell you, you know,
at this point, I just want
367
00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:45,270
the towel to fall.
You know?
368
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,940
Get it over with.
369
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,110
I'm just tired
of livin' in fear.
370
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,530
DEACON: Whoa.
371
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:54,950
What the...
372
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,540
"Doug. I love you,
373
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,870
"and I really don't want
to spend the rest of my life
374
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,170
"being the person who left
the garage door open.
375
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:08,800
"So I got you this used,
but still very large TV.
376
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,840
"And don't say we can't
afford it 'cause...
377
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,970
"I'm going to work overtime
to pay it off.
378
00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:14,340
"Carrie.
379
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,810
And don't worry.
I'm not hooking."
380
00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:25,270
God, man,
she bought me a TV!
381
00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:26,270
I know.
382
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:29,780
You read
the note out loud.
383
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:32,070
What an unbelievable
woman I married.
384
00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:33,570
I mean, I've been acting
385
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:35,280
like such a baby about this.
386
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,870
Oh, man.
387
00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:39,160
I hate my ugly...
388
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,250
suck...face!
389
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,670
DOUG: Carrie?
390
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:48,130
Honey?
391
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:02,310
Dear Carrie,
392
00:17:02,350 --> 00:17:04,350
you are...
393
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:05,900
the best...
394
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:09,270
wife ever.
395
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,280
As long as
they don't steal you,
396
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:14,780
I have everything I need.
397
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:17,370
I love you.
398
00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:18,910
Okay. Spell check.
399
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,950
Spell check.
400
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,750
There we go.
401
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,670
9 errors. Wow.
402
00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:30,630
Oh, well.
403
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,630
[CRASH]
404
00:17:40,850 --> 00:17:42,810
I broke
her computer?
405
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:46,100
No. I did. I just need you
to say that you did.
406
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,400
Why would I
say that?
407
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,770
Because I've been giving her
all kinds of crap
408
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:50,110
about getting
my TV stolen.
409
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:51,820
She'll think I did this
out of spite.
410
00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:53,280
I just couldn't
handle it.
411
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,860
That's true.
You're decent, but weak.
412
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,780
Look, if you tell her
that you did it by accident--
413
00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:00,870
she's not going to get mad
at you. You're her father.
414
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:03,410
You know, plus you break
things all the time.
415
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,410
So she's used to that.
416
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,670
So. What do you--
what do you say?
417
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,960
All right.
418
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,210
I'll take the bullet
for you, Douglas.
419
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:13,800
Thank you.
There you go.
420
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,130
Okay. Now you--you say
you were up there.
421
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:16,170
You were
borrowing a pen,
422
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,680
and uh, you turned
to walk away,
423
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:18,970
and your foot
caught on the cord,
424
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,100
and bam. The computer
fell on the floor. Okay?
425
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:23,180
No.
426
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,680
-Why not?
-It's ludicrous.
427
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,270
She wouldn't believe it.
428
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:28,770
Arthur, that's exactly how I
broke it. I tripped on the cord.
429
00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:29,810
Yes, but I'm nimble.
430
00:18:29,850 --> 00:18:31,230
I move like a dancer.
431
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:34,820
Fine. What do you
want to say, then?
432
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:35,990
Let's see...
433
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:37,780
Okay. Got it.
434
00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,200
Early this morning,
435
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,820
I received a telegram
from the war department.
436
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,330
Oh, God.
437
00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:46,330
So it was only after I yanked
the computer off the desk
438
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:47,460
that I realized the smoke
439
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,750
was actually just steam
from my coffee.
440
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,720
What were you even
doing in my office?
441
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:02,180
I have
no further comment.
442
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,520
Look, the important thing
is everyone's okay.
443
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,940
Wait a minute.
444
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:13,190
Did you do this
to get back at me
445
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:15,820
for breaking your
Tijuana Brass record?
446
00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:19,450
Hey, if I had, I'd be fully
within my rights.
447
00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:20,950
I cannot believe you.
448
00:19:20,990 --> 00:19:23,240
I had all my files
in that computer.
449
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,490
I broke that stupid
record 15 years ago.
450
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,870
Yes, but it stings
like it was yesterday.
451
00:19:27,910 --> 00:19:29,500
You know what?
This sounds like a private
452
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,170
father-daughter
thing, honey.
453
00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:33,790
I'll be out there
watching my new TV.
454
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,460
Thanks again.
I love you.
455
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:36,460
For what it's worth, Arthur,
456
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,210
I think you're a little
out of line.
457
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,800
He did it!
458
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,090
CARRIE: Oh, please.
459
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,180
*Hello Muddah,hello Faddah*
460
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,230
*Here I am at*
461
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,230
*Camp Grenada*
462
00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:57,440
*Camp is very entertaining*
463
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,530
*And they saywe'll have some fun*
464
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:01,740
*If it stops raining*
465
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:05,780
*I went hikingwith Joe Spivey*
466
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:10,000
*He developed poison ivy*
467
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:14,170
*You rememberLeonard Skinner*
468
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:18,250
*He got Ptomaine poisoninglast night after dinner*
469
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,550
*All the counselors*
470
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:23,510
*Hate the waiters and--*
471
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:40,070
[TIJUANA TAXI PLAYING]
472
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,720
[**]
32890
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