All language subtitles for S01E20 - Best Prom Ever

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,314 --> 00:00:19,679 Kids, about eight months 2 00:00:19,782 --> 00:00:21,841 into Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's engagement, 3 00:00:21,951 --> 00:00:24,317 there occurred a game-changing emergency, 4 00:00:25,655 --> 00:00:27,350 - Van Smoot is available. - Oh, my God. 5 00:00:27,457 --> 00:00:29,425 Van Smoot House was a gorgeous mansion 6 00:00:29,525 --> 00:00:30,719 right on the Hudson River, 7 00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:33,523 It had everything Marshall and Lily wanted for their wedding, 8 00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:37,066 but it was never available, And then, suddenly, it was, 9 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,761 There was a cancellation two months from now. 10 00:00:39,869 --> 00:00:42,167 You want to have our wedding in two months? 11 00:00:42,272 --> 00:00:43,739 No. It's impossible. 12 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,308 It's Van Smoot, Lily. It's the dream. 13 00:00:46,776 --> 00:00:49,438 No, there's just not enough time. There's no... 14 00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:51,675 Mini-vomit. 15 00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:54,443 Okay, look, look, look. I know that it's sudden, but check it. 16 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:57,644 If we don't take this, guess who's on their way with a deposit check? 17 00:00:57,754 --> 00:00:58,982 Todd and Valerie? 18 00:01:01,457 --> 00:01:02,754 When you're planning a wedding, 19 00:01:02,859 --> 00:01:04,520 there's always one couple with similar taste 20 00:01:04,627 --> 00:01:06,788 that seems to be one step ahead of you, 21 00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:08,989 Todd and Valerie were that couple, 22 00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:13,363 We got to make a decision. Todd and Valerie are in motion. 23 00:01:15,471 --> 00:01:16,961 Van Smoot! 24 00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:19,603 No! Kids, color! 25 00:01:23,212 --> 00:01:25,908 - Baby, pick me. - Come on, come on, come on. 26 00:01:39,329 --> 00:01:42,264 Hello, Marshall. Lily. 27 00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:45,896 Todd. Valerie. 28 00:01:47,870 --> 00:01:49,269 Stairs. 29 00:01:52,108 --> 00:01:55,976 I can't believe it. We got Van Smoot House. 30 00:01:56,079 --> 00:02:01,016 It is on. It is on! Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan. 31 00:02:02,352 --> 00:02:03,649 - What? - You're a wonder. 32 00:02:03,753 --> 00:02:05,812 Wow. You guys are getting married in two months. 33 00:02:05,922 --> 00:02:07,287 How are you going to get everything done? 34 00:02:07,390 --> 00:02:10,689 Division of labor. Everyone's got a job to do, so listen up. 35 00:02:10,793 --> 00:02:13,660 Okay, Robin, you and Ted go to the florist. 36 00:02:15,264 --> 00:02:18,427 Robin had been mad at me since the night I slightly exaggerated 37 00:02:18,534 --> 00:02:20,866 my not-having-a-girlfriend-ness, 38 00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:23,263 - Was it... - It was your girlfriend. 39 00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:26,331 You might want to call her back. 40 00:02:26,843 --> 00:02:30,677 Or, actually, Robin, why don't you go to the florist? 41 00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:35,615 And, Ted, I could use your keen architectural eye on the invitations. 42 00:02:36,319 --> 00:02:38,947 Wow, that was really awkward, Lil. 43 00:02:41,224 --> 00:02:44,216 And still. It's still really awkward right now. 44 00:02:46,062 --> 00:02:48,223 Hey, what about me? What's my job? What do I get to do? 45 00:02:48,331 --> 00:02:49,958 Okay, your job is very simple. 46 00:02:50,066 --> 00:02:54,799 At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me. 47 00:02:57,774 --> 00:03:00,334 Lil, you know I can't promise that. 48 00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:09,380 Look how cute she looks. All tuckered out. 49 00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:15,421 Hey, babe. Hey, little one. Hey, Lilypad. 50 00:03:15,525 --> 00:03:18,585 Crap! Band! We forgot a band! 51 00:03:18,694 --> 00:03:21,527 It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing. 52 00:03:21,631 --> 00:03:25,567 Baby, don't worry about it. I called The 88! 53 00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:27,462 - Who? - The 88. 54 00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:30,368 They're this awesome band. They played my law review party. 55 00:03:30,473 --> 00:03:33,306 They were found guilty. On three counts of rocking. 56 00:03:33,409 --> 00:03:35,536 Yeah, I saw them two months ago at my cousin Bonzo's wedding. 57 00:03:35,645 --> 00:03:36,634 They were great. 58 00:03:36,746 --> 00:03:39,510 John "Bonzo" Bonham from Led Zeppelin? 59 00:03:39,615 --> 00:03:42,914 Yes, Lily, my cousin, the drummer from Led Zeppelin who died in 1980, 60 00:03:43,019 --> 00:03:45,078 got married two months ago. 61 00:03:45,822 --> 00:03:48,882 Look, I can't sign off on a band I've never even seen. 62 00:03:48,991 --> 00:03:51,016 We don't even know if they can play our song. 63 00:03:51,127 --> 00:03:53,652 They're going to have to come over here and audition. 64 00:03:53,763 --> 00:03:57,699 Baby, The 88 don't audition. They're like The Wiggles of wedding bands. 65 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,161 Well, then I have to say no. 66 00:04:01,804 --> 00:04:04,432 Baby, they're only holding the date until Monday. 67 00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:07,065 Well, are they playing anywhere this weekend? 68 00:04:07,777 --> 00:04:09,540 Let me check their website. 69 00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:11,974 What? 70 00:04:12,115 --> 00:04:14,549 Lily, you're being a wee bit intense about this band thing. 71 00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:20,054 Intense? I have a wedding to plan in nine weeks for 200 people. 72 00:04:20,323 --> 00:04:23,349 Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt 73 00:04:23,459 --> 00:04:25,154 and consume this coffee table, 74 00:04:25,261 --> 00:04:28,492 - I need you to roll with it, okay? - Wow. 75 00:04:29,465 --> 00:04:32,730 Guys. I just tasted an amazing caterer. 76 00:04:32,835 --> 00:04:36,271 - We already have a caterer. - Oh, right. You're getting married. 77 00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:38,532 You see what I did there? 78 00:04:39,108 --> 00:04:43,067 It looks like The 88 are playing at a high school prom 79 00:04:43,179 --> 00:04:45,044 in New Jersey tomorrow. 80 00:04:45,148 --> 00:04:47,207 A prom? Can we go to that? 81 00:04:47,316 --> 00:04:51,343 Yeah, we'll just call the high school, they'll let us stand in the back and watch. 82 00:04:52,355 --> 00:04:54,186 - Yeah. No, they won't. - Why not? 83 00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:56,155 'Cause it turns out we're not in high school. 84 00:04:56,259 --> 00:04:57,658 No sweat, we'll just sneak in. 85 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,785 We're not sneaking into a high school prom. 86 00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:01,761 Yes, we are. It's the only way. 87 00:05:01,864 --> 00:05:03,354 You're getting on board with Barney's idea? 88 00:05:03,466 --> 00:05:05,400 Man, you really have snapped. 89 00:05:05,501 --> 00:05:07,901 It's nine weeks till the wedding. At this point, 90 00:05:08,004 --> 00:05:10,234 I'd say yes to just about anything. 91 00:05:10,339 --> 00:05:12,000 - Well... - No, Barney. 92 00:05:14,317 --> 00:05:17,650 And so, Aunt Lily hatched the plan to crash a prom, 93 00:05:17,754 --> 00:05:19,346 - I'll go with you. - Really? 94 00:05:19,456 --> 00:05:20,946 Yeah, I never got to go to my prom. 95 00:05:21,057 --> 00:05:23,491 We always had field hockey nationals in the spring. 96 00:05:24,727 --> 00:05:25,921 Lesbian. 97 00:05:26,429 --> 00:05:28,761 The cough is supposed to cover the "lesbian." 98 00:05:28,865 --> 00:05:32,130 No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate. 99 00:05:32,502 --> 00:05:35,232 Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school? 100 00:05:35,338 --> 00:05:38,205 Please, I'm ageless, Scherbatsky just needs a good night's sleep, 101 00:05:38,308 --> 00:05:41,300 and you've got "statutory" written all over your body. 102 00:05:41,811 --> 00:05:43,210 Hey, why don't we all go? 103 00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:45,406 I don't know. More people might be harder to sneak in. 104 00:05:45,515 --> 00:05:47,847 We don't want to mess things up for Lily. 105 00:05:47,951 --> 00:05:50,852 Yeah, you're right. Besides, Marshall and I have been planning 106 00:05:50,954 --> 00:05:52,615 on having a guys' night out before the wedding. 107 00:05:52,722 --> 00:05:54,189 Why don't we just make it tomorrow night? 108 00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:57,555 Sounds awesome. We should go out and just get fricking weird. 109 00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:58,718 - Yeah. - 'Cause, you know, 110 00:05:58,828 --> 00:06:00,193 you'd be a bad, bad man, 111 00:06:00,296 --> 00:06:01,729 and I be an outlaw. 112 00:06:02,899 --> 00:06:03,888 What? 113 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,232 Wow. Hey, Thelma, Louise, y'all don't drive off no cliffs now, you hear? 114 00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:10,069 Lame! 115 00:06:11,574 --> 00:06:15,271 But seriously, leave me a message, and we'll meet up later. 116 00:06:17,881 --> 00:06:19,781 All right, what do you think? 117 00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:21,814 Horrible. 118 00:06:22,252 --> 00:06:24,379 You're gonna make such a great dad. 119 00:06:25,121 --> 00:06:28,420 You look so classy and nice. You're gonna stick out like a sore thumb. 120 00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:30,720 Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, 121 00:06:30,827 --> 00:06:33,227 with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris? 122 00:06:33,329 --> 00:06:36,787 They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home. 123 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,228 Well, we have to get in. I have to see this band, 124 00:06:40,336 --> 00:06:42,270 'cause we have to make a decision by Monday, 125 00:06:42,372 --> 00:06:44,135 'cause I'm getting married in 71 days, 126 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,332 and we still don't have... 127 00:06:45,441 --> 00:06:48,433 Sweetie, just focus on one thing at a time, okay? 128 00:06:48,545 --> 00:06:51,605 Right now, you just have to dress like a whore and that's it. 129 00:06:51,714 --> 00:06:53,682 - All right. - That's the spirit. 130 00:06:53,783 --> 00:06:55,978 Now, ladies, slut up. 131 00:06:59,622 --> 00:07:04,116 I never thought this would be a bad thing, but my wardrobe just isn't slutty enough. 132 00:07:05,929 --> 00:07:08,830 - I didn't know I still had this. - What? 133 00:07:10,066 --> 00:07:12,500 The dress I wore to my actual prom. 134 00:07:17,807 --> 00:07:23,040 Dude, you are the hottest girl at this prom, and not like in a corporate, plastic way. 135 00:07:23,146 --> 00:07:26,707 Like, truly, truly hot. Like a hot soul. 136 00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:30,575 You look great, too, Scooter. 137 00:07:30,687 --> 00:07:34,453 So, big news. I heard from umpire school. I'm in! 138 00:07:35,191 --> 00:07:40,060 Oh, disco! I am so happy for you. 139 00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:43,092 You mean happy for us, right, babe? 140 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:47,194 Scooter, you're gonna be an umpire someday. 141 00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:51,700 No, baby. We're gonna be an umpire someday. 142 00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:54,777 Nice. 143 00:07:54,877 --> 00:07:58,074 Now, you ladies look good, but your outfits are missing just one thing. 144 00:07:58,181 --> 00:08:01,344 No, Barney, this is as far as we're going to go. I'm not showing any more... 145 00:08:01,451 --> 00:08:04,887 Two beautiful flowers for two beautiful flowers. 146 00:08:06,155 --> 00:08:08,453 Sweet. Thank you. 147 00:08:08,558 --> 00:08:09,547 Hmm. 148 00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:10,960 - Robin, are you tearing up? - No. 149 00:08:10,961 --> 00:08:13,485 - Robin, are you tearing up? - No. 150 00:08:14,464 --> 00:08:16,898 I've never been to prom before, okay? 151 00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:19,594 - We got to go. See you. - Bye, have fun. 152 00:08:19,702 --> 00:08:20,999 - Bye. - See you. 153 00:08:23,373 --> 00:08:26,240 They grow up into skanks so fast, don't they, Ted? 154 00:08:26,342 --> 00:08:28,367 - So, what, we ready for tonight? - Yeah. 155 00:08:28,478 --> 00:08:29,740 Just one thing we got to do first. 156 00:08:29,846 --> 00:08:30,835 Shot of Jim Beam? 157 00:08:30,947 --> 00:08:32,039 - Yeah. - Yes! 158 00:08:32,148 --> 00:08:35,675 And then I promised Lily that we'd stuff 200 wedding invitations. 159 00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:37,308 - What? - I'm sorry, dude, 160 00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:38,944 but you saw how stressed out she is. 161 00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:42,081 Come on! You've been doing wedding stuff nonstop. Take a break. 162 00:08:42,191 --> 00:08:43,749 Once you're married, if we go out, 163 00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:45,953 and you get so drunk you throw up, it'll be sad, 164 00:08:46,062 --> 00:08:48,929 but if we do it tonight, it'll be less sad. 165 00:08:49,032 --> 00:08:52,160 Okay, it'll be cool. I'll tell you what. We'll make a game out of it. 166 00:08:52,268 --> 00:08:55,567 First one to stuff 100 invitations gets a big prize. 167 00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:57,599 Do I look like I'm four? 168 00:08:58,174 --> 00:09:00,802 All right, what kind of prize are we talking about? 169 00:09:02,378 --> 00:09:05,006 Wow, a lot more security than when we were kids. 170 00:09:05,114 --> 00:09:06,638 - Is this gonna work? - Yeah. 171 00:09:06,749 --> 00:09:10,378 Look, when I was 17, I used to sneak into clubs all the time. 172 00:09:10,486 --> 00:09:13,421 It's all about confidence. Follow me. 173 00:09:14,223 --> 00:09:17,556 Happy prom, everybody. Going to prom. 174 00:09:19,529 --> 00:09:21,360 - You're adults. - Okay, bye. 175 00:09:22,832 --> 00:09:27,599 Okay, look, I just need to see the band. I'm getting married in two months, and... 176 00:09:27,704 --> 00:09:29,365 And you're just finding a band? 177 00:09:29,472 --> 00:09:30,996 Hey, hey. 178 00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:36,235 I'm sorry, ma'am. You either need to be a student or the date of a student. 179 00:09:39,048 --> 00:09:41,949 Wow. "Ma'am?" Check and mate. 180 00:09:42,051 --> 00:09:44,383 It's cool. Time to activate Plan "B." 181 00:09:44,487 --> 00:09:47,422 Scherbatsky, how comfortable are you with a crossbow? 182 00:09:47,757 --> 00:09:49,088 Scherbatsky? 183 00:09:49,792 --> 00:09:53,023 Hey, guys. You want to take two hot girls to prom? 184 00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:56,391 We don't have that kind of money. 185 00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:58,797 - For free. - Oh, hell yeah. 186 00:09:59,035 --> 00:10:01,902 - Great. I'm Robin, this is my friend Lily. - Hi. 187 00:10:02,004 --> 00:10:03,562 - Shall we? - Sure. 188 00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:07,768 I knew it would happen. This is the dream. 189 00:10:08,678 --> 00:10:10,373 Hey, wait. How's Barney getting in? 190 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,573 Don't worry about me. I'll get in. 191 00:10:13,549 --> 00:10:16,143 Oh, I'll get in. 192 00:10:28,415 --> 00:10:30,542 - We're in! - Thank you, We're going to take a break, 193 00:10:30,684 --> 00:10:32,015 You're kidding me. 194 00:10:32,118 --> 00:10:35,349 Hey, you ladies want something to take the edge off? 195 00:10:37,424 --> 00:10:39,619 Yeah, what the hell? It's prom. 196 00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:45,691 That tastes like cough syrup. 197 00:10:45,799 --> 00:10:49,860 Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol. Our fake IDs say we're only 20. 198 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:52,632 We didn't realize it till after we bought them. 199 00:10:52,872 --> 00:10:57,070 Nerds who aren't good at math? Life's going to be rough, boys. 200 00:11:00,347 --> 00:11:01,939 Hi. Excuse me. 201 00:11:02,048 --> 00:11:05,711 I was wondering if you guys could play Good Feeling by the Violent Femmes. 202 00:11:05,819 --> 00:11:07,582 I know it's probably not in your repertoire, 203 00:11:07,687 --> 00:11:11,088 but I'm getting married and my fiancé wants to hire you guys as the band, 204 00:11:11,224 --> 00:11:13,317 but I can't sign off on it until I hear you play Good Feeling 205 00:11:13,426 --> 00:11:14,688 because that's our song, 206 00:11:14,794 --> 00:11:15,988 and what kind of wedding band would you be 207 00:11:16,096 --> 00:11:18,860 if you couldn't play our song, right? Right? 208 00:11:18,965 --> 00:11:23,095 Look, I'm kind of wasted right now, so I didn't understand any of that. 209 00:11:23,203 --> 00:11:26,172 But if you get us the sheet music, we'll play your song. 210 00:11:26,272 --> 00:11:27,261 Okay. 211 00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:29,706 So, you buzzing, baby? 212 00:11:30,977 --> 00:11:32,842 My phlegm feels looser. 213 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:50,494 This is pathetic. It's guys' night. We should be out in a bar getting in fights. 214 00:11:51,865 --> 00:11:54,060 Hey, if I got in a fight, would you have my back? 215 00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:55,532 You know it. 216 00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:58,804 I'd have your back, too. 217 00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:00,765 That's cool. 218 00:12:02,509 --> 00:12:05,842 What, you don't think you'd need my help? Hey, you don't know what I can do. 219 00:12:05,945 --> 00:12:07,003 I'm like... 220 00:12:08,248 --> 00:12:09,272 Like a berserker. 221 00:12:09,382 --> 00:12:11,816 Okay, Ted. Hello? 222 00:12:12,018 --> 00:12:13,451 Hey, it's Robin. 223 00:12:13,553 --> 00:12:16,579 Lily needs you to download the sheet music for Good Feeling 224 00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:18,954 and bring it out here, like, now. 225 00:12:19,259 --> 00:12:22,490 Hang on. It's Robin. She wants me to go to prom. 226 00:12:24,164 --> 00:12:27,031 - Can Ted come? - Wait! Don't ask! That's so lame! 227 00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:28,964 I don't even want to go, anyway. 228 00:12:30,136 --> 00:12:32,570 I don't know. Things have been so weird between us. 229 00:12:32,972 --> 00:12:34,462 What'd she say? What'd she say? 230 00:12:35,341 --> 00:12:37,866 He lied and told me he broke up with his girlfriend 231 00:12:37,977 --> 00:12:39,672 to try to hook up with me. 232 00:12:39,779 --> 00:12:43,840 I mean, I know he apologized for it but it's just... It's not easy to forgive. 233 00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:46,612 Well, look, if you absolutely must bring Ted, 234 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,780 it's not like I'm going to claw my own eyes out if he comes. 235 00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:51,615 Okay, bye. 236 00:12:53,059 --> 00:12:54,424 She totally wants you to come. 237 00:12:58,998 --> 00:13:01,398 All right, sheet music's on the way. 238 00:13:03,303 --> 00:13:04,497 You okay? 239 00:13:05,171 --> 00:13:09,198 There's just so much to do for this wedding. My head is swirling. 240 00:13:09,309 --> 00:13:11,869 It's just all moving too fast. 241 00:13:12,178 --> 00:13:15,909 How is it moving too fast? We've been together for two years. 242 00:13:16,015 --> 00:13:17,209 I just... 243 00:13:17,484 --> 00:13:21,079 I just don't want everything in my life to be decided already. 244 00:13:21,187 --> 00:13:24,623 What's decided? I go to umpire school, you go to college. 245 00:13:24,724 --> 00:13:26,851 We move into my dad's house in Staten Island. 246 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,987 We have kids, we grow old together. What's decided? It's wide open! 247 00:13:32,699 --> 00:13:37,830 Scooter, when I go off to college, that's the end for us. 248 00:13:39,205 --> 00:13:41,696 You're breaking up with me? 249 00:13:42,308 --> 00:13:44,833 There's still so much I want to do. 250 00:13:44,944 --> 00:13:48,710 I want to travel, live overseas as an artist, 251 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,406 maybe have a lesbian relationship. 252 00:13:52,519 --> 00:13:57,081 Plus, I think I was just dating you 'cause you look a little bit like Kurt Cobain. 253 00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:58,953 I can't believe this. 254 00:13:59,759 --> 00:14:02,250 I can change. I can look more like Kurt Cobain. 255 00:14:02,362 --> 00:14:06,264 Please, just don't leave me! I'm nothing without you, baby. 256 00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:10,063 Please don't put that kind of pressure on me! It's too much! 257 00:14:10,603 --> 00:14:13,663 - It's just one dance. God! - What? 258 00:14:14,407 --> 00:14:16,568 Well, we did promise them one dance. 259 00:14:17,277 --> 00:14:18,767 Yeah, sure, okay. 260 00:14:27,153 --> 00:14:32,090 So, Andrew, what's your big plan? What's life going to be like after tonight? 261 00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:35,025 Well, you know, I got it all worked out. 262 00:14:35,128 --> 00:14:38,222 Leave this place in my dust, four awesome years at college, 263 00:14:38,331 --> 00:14:42,358 and then I'll move to Prague or start my own video game company or something. 264 00:14:42,468 --> 00:14:44,333 - No, you won't. - I won't? 265 00:14:44,437 --> 00:14:47,873 No, you won't accomplish anything you set out to. 266 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,408 You'll get a girlfriend the first day of college 267 00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:53,104 and you'll give up your independence and you'll never live abroad 268 00:14:53,213 --> 00:14:55,477 and you'll wind up old before your time, wondering, 269 00:14:55,582 --> 00:14:58,551 "Whatever happened to my hopes and my dreams?" 270 00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:02,181 You really think I'll get a girlfriend? 271 00:15:03,523 --> 00:15:06,856 So, what's the deal here? Am I getting lucky tonight? 272 00:15:08,261 --> 00:15:13,665 Sean, look, you're a nice guy, but I just don't... 273 00:15:16,603 --> 00:15:19,128 No, you're not getting lucky tonight. 274 00:15:31,382 --> 00:15:33,612 Okay, just be cool. Don't look at me. 275 00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:36,846 - Okay. - How'd you get in here? 276 00:15:37,321 --> 00:15:39,516 What's it to you, giant turtle? 277 00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,181 It's me. Barney. 278 00:15:43,327 --> 00:15:46,922 - Hey. Where's Lily? - She's in the bathroom. 279 00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:48,589 - Wait here, I should go talk to the band. - All right. 280 00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:50,030 How did you guys get in here? 281 00:15:50,134 --> 00:15:53,160 - We just snuck in the back. - You just... Are you serious? 282 00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:55,431 I've been trying to get in here all night. 283 00:15:55,539 --> 00:16:00,101 I finally paid a janitor 200 bucks to let me borrow this mascot costume. 284 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:02,409 - But you got in. - Yeah. 285 00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:04,874 Slow and steady won the race. 286 00:16:07,818 --> 00:16:10,309 Hey, bro, have you seen my fiancée, Lily? 287 00:16:10,421 --> 00:16:14,187 Your fiancée? Whoa. Tonight she's with me, bro. 288 00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:16,282 Unless you're looking for trouble. 289 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:19,521 Listen, little buddy, I understand it's prom and the adrenaline's pumping, but... 290 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,621 No, not tonight. I've waited too long for this. 291 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:25,065 I finally got a girl and I'm not going to let you take her away from me. 292 00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:26,693 Whoah, whoah. 293 00:16:26,804 --> 00:16:29,898 - Look, let's not get carried away. - Nunchaku! 294 00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:32,632 I'm coming at you! 295 00:16:33,944 --> 00:16:37,072 I can't believe I unloaded like that on a high school senior. 296 00:16:37,181 --> 00:16:40,947 I can't believe a high school senior unloaded like that on me. 297 00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:46,278 I'm going to ask you something and maybe it's crazy 298 00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:48,324 'cause you guys are the cutest couple ever. 299 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:51,417 But are you having second thoughts? 300 00:16:54,698 --> 00:16:55,790 Yeah. 301 00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:58,963 But not about Marshall. About me. 302 00:16:59,703 --> 00:17:03,867 I just keep thinking about the girl I was 10 years ago 303 00:17:03,974 --> 00:17:06,306 and wondering what happened to her. 304 00:17:07,111 --> 00:17:08,840 I don't want to be tied down. 305 00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:12,177 I want to live in France and Spain and Italy 306 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,649 and just soak up life and put it on a canvas, 307 00:17:15,753 --> 00:17:19,621 even if it means being a waitress in crappy cafés for five years, 308 00:17:19,723 --> 00:17:22,157 I don't care. I'm going to be a painter. 309 00:17:22,259 --> 00:17:27,094 And I can't do any of that with a boyfriend shackled around my neck, you know? 310 00:17:28,999 --> 00:17:32,935 But, anyway, I'm blabbering. Way to make new friends, Lily. 311 00:17:34,271 --> 00:17:36,432 I'm sorry. What was your name again? 312 00:17:37,107 --> 00:17:38,506 Marshall. 313 00:17:39,376 --> 00:17:42,607 Nice to meet you, Marshall. Guess we're hall mates. 314 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,247 Yeah. 315 00:17:47,351 --> 00:17:48,909 It works. 316 00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:53,686 - Violent Femmes. I love this song. - Me, too. 317 00:17:56,794 --> 00:18:00,321 I didn't have any of the experiences I set out to. 318 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:06,735 The travel, the bohemian art life, my big lesbian experience. 319 00:18:07,204 --> 00:18:09,035 I didn't do any of it. 320 00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:13,535 Lily, you're marrying your best friend in the world. 321 00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:17,541 I mean, isn't that worth all the other experiences combined? 322 00:18:18,982 --> 00:18:20,108 Yeah. 323 00:18:20,484 --> 00:18:24,079 And, look, you can still travel. I mean, you can still paint. 324 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:26,884 And as far as your lesbian experience... 325 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,889 - Happy? - Yeah. 326 00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:35,262 - So field hockey, huh? - Shut up. 327 00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:40,732 Trespassing, assaulting a minor. 328 00:18:40,838 --> 00:18:43,773 And this mascot costume you stole cost $5,000. 329 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,433 We can have you guys arrested, you know that? 330 00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:48,909 Oh, come on, you're the one who let in a kid with nunchucks. 331 00:18:49,012 --> 00:18:51,776 You call yourself security guards? I was just defending my boy here. 332 00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:54,942 - I totally could have taken that kid. - Yeah, and I totally had your back, so... 333 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:57,987 - Well, I didn't need it, but thanks. - Yeah, you did, and you're welcome. 334 00:18:58,088 --> 00:19:00,989 No, the kid was totally like a white belt and I'm gigantic. 335 00:19:01,091 --> 00:19:04,618 Listen, guys, I'm sorry. Please, I just need to get in there for one more song. 336 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,252 Absolutely not. 337 00:19:07,498 --> 00:19:10,399 You guys will thank me for this later, okay? 338 00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:15,027 - Listen, Don, Ray, can't we all... - Hey! 339 00:19:17,674 --> 00:19:20,370 You know, for a turtle, he's surprisingly quick. 340 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,807 This one goes out to that redhead girl and that tall guy. 341 00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:54,568 - So, how was your first prom? - You tell me. 342 00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:59,973 I hated my dress, my date got wasted and puked on me, there was a huge fight, 343 00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:01,812 and I kissed a girl. 344 00:20:02,252 --> 00:20:04,243 So, basically, it was a prom. 345 00:20:06,323 --> 00:20:10,657 Okay, I've missed you. Not in a we're-going-to-make-out way, 346 00:20:11,562 --> 00:20:16,465 not even in an I-forgive-you way. Just in an I've-missed-you way. 347 00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:19,763 I'll take what I can get. 348 00:20:22,573 --> 00:20:25,599 And that, my friends, is why you don't get your money's worth 349 00:20:25,709 --> 00:20:28,041 when you wear jeans to a strip club. 350 00:20:31,281 --> 00:20:34,546 So you got to admit, The 88 are rocking our song. 351 00:20:34,985 --> 00:20:36,543 Yeah, it's good. 352 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,118 Band. Check. 353 00:20:40,724 --> 00:20:43,625 Two months, baby. Two months. 354 00:20:45,862 --> 00:20:47,193 Two months. 355 00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:59,506 Resynced by Ameen 29107

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