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-I learned so much about myself,
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so much about what I wanted and who I wanted to be.
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That is the best part of dancing.
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You just feel so powerful and it is empowering.
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-I am all work mode.
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As soon as I hit that building, it's all work mode.
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I'm not Yasmine anymore, I'm Ruby, and Ruby,
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she's whatever she needs to be to get the bag
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at the end of the day.
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-I would say that I'm the default
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when you think of a stripper,
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I feel like I'm everyone's type.
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I started making so much more money
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when I stopped putting pressure on myself.
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I try not to care about how much I make in a night,
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but $5,000, that's a great night.
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-When I dancing up on the pole in the air,
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doing anything, I'm really just within myself,
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within my body.
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I could forget about everything else
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that's going on in the world.
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-Pole dancing is definitely an art.
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I'm really an entertainer.
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I go in with the mindset that I just want to entertain
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from women to men.
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Ultimately, I'm trying to sell a fantasy at work.
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Being able to walk into a place and leave with $10,000
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within five to eight hours,
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only in this type of business does that happen.
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-Now that we're in a pandemic
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and get to find extra areas of revenue,
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and one of my forms of revenue is filming content at home.
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So, I got to bring the club home with me,
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which was fucking awesome.
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'Cause then I'm in control of everything.
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-Vegas is a city, of course,
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but I wouldn't even call it a metropolis,
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I would call it a fantasy land in the middle of the desert.
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There's something about the feeling you get in the city
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where everything is larger than life,
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it's covered in lights, everything is the biggest, the best.
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The whole city of Vegas is designed
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around entertainment, and strippers
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are part of that entertainment.
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There's around 20,000 strippers that live in Vegas,
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and that's insane, that's larger than some cities.
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20,000 strippers.
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-I am born and raised
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in Las Vegas, Nevada.
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It's really not all glitz and glam.
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People are still dying on our streets every day,
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just like anywhere else.
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Growing up, my mom worked two to three jobs
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at all times to support me and my brothers.
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So I just had a sense of responsibility instilled
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in me from a young age.
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I kept myself occupied by taking AP and honors classes.
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I did whatever sport I could do.
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I participated in clubs, on top of being a part of sports.
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I did get scholarships, over $76,000 worth of scholarships,
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over three schools.
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-Growing up, my dad did a lot of show business work.
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He also was in the circus for much of my life.
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Growing up, my dad was in a unicycle troupe
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called The King Charles Troupe.
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It consisted of all my uncles, they rode unicycles.
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My early memories of my dad were very good.
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We grew up around some exciting stuff,
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some stuff that most kids don't ever get to see.
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It trickled down to all of his kids as well.
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So, we all know how to ride the unicycle.
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-By the time I could remember it,
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I think maybe I was three or four.
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Modeling was always something
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that was already there.
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My mom had me in baby modeling things,
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and I just remember taking pictures.
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We would have little mini photo shoots outside
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and take pictures, I would dance around the living room,
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get dressed up in all of her scarves and hats.
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Every kid wants to fit in.
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I don't think there's a single kid
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that doesn't wanna fit in.
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I wasn't the popular kid, I was kinda shy.
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Certain people wouldn't hang out with me
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because I wasn't hood enough.
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And then certain people wouldn't hang out with me
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because I was of color.
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So I kinda just stayed focused on my world,
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and my artistic world, and my creative world.
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And that worked for me.
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-My teenage years
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were really rough, I was on my own most of the time.
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Middle school hit, and I had just gotten out of foster care.
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I kinda grew up in the hood to where I got beat up a lot.
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I had to learn how to fight on my own.
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Fighting for myself physically,
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but also mentally fighting for myself.
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I was really depressed, I was really socially just confused.
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Give it to me. -Get up.
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-That's it, come on, get up.
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-I just wanted to be wanted by somebody.
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I just didn't know how to be me.
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-I actually used to joke when I was younger
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that I would make a bomb ass stripper, and I am .
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I had a really good childhood.
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My parents put me into dance, did ballet,
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contemporary, tap, jazz, hip hop.
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When I was seven, I got onto the dance company at my studio.
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When I got into high school,
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I was on the dance company there.
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I traveled, I competed and performed everywhere I could.
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-I actually learned how to swim
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before I learned how to walk.
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I was one of the best swimmers in my town, in my county.
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And so, it made me feel really important.
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It made me feel like it could be a way out of the life
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that I was living at home.
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And so, I had it in my mind from a really young age
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that this is something that could take me to college
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or this is something that could really help me in life.
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And I liked feeling like I was good at something.
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But I wound up getting a full ride scholarship
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to UC Santa Cruz.
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I was the first person on my mom's side of my family
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that went to college.
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And so, there was a pressure to graduate.
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-My sister, Angel, inspired me a lot when she took me
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to my first bachelor party.
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I think I was 16 and it was crazy, it was fun, it was lit.
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My sister had been a dancer for a while.
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She started dancing when she turned 18.
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She's the one who really opened up that world for me.
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I was just so inspired, she did so amazing.
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She was so good at the pole.
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And my biggest dream was to learn pole tricks.
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That's when it all started.
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And I knew at that time, okay, when I'm of age,
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this is what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna find a club.
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I'm gonna go dance one day.
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One day, I said, "Okay, let's do it."
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I bought my ticket, I left my mom.
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I left all that bullshit behind,
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and went to Vegas, and never looked back.
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-So, when I started dancing,
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it brought back that feeling of competition,
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you're competing for money and praise on the tip rail.
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And it made me feel alive again.
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It brings you that feeling
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like you're about to go do a gymnastics competition
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and there's a stadium full of people watching,
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and you have to perform.
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Literally, the second they called my name on stage,
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it was go time.
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-Miss September Reign.
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-When I was 18,
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when I first started thinking about dancing,
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I was with my daughter's dad at the time.
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And I asked him, "What should I do?"
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He got me a pole.
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And we put it up in our one bedroom weekly.
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And I practiced and practiced and practiced for weeks,
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for months before I was able to build the courage
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to go into my first club.
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So by the time I went into my first club,
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I already knew what I was doing.
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And it's because I thought that that's how it was,
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that everybody knew what they were doing,
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and boy, was I wrong.
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-I didn't know pole tricks, I didn't know anything.
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I just knew that I knew how to dance
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and I was going to make it .
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My first night dancing, I made $200
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and I was doped, I was so excited.
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-When I first started
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making money, it was coming really quick because,
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like I said, I knew how to pole dance already.
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And that was my thing.
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I realized very quickly that my body talks to my customers.
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I learned that that was my moneymaker.
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The money was flying, it was coming in really quick.
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My first $1,000 I think I made on my second or third night.
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So, I knew I was just destined for Vegas.
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-I was in five AP classes my senior year of high school,
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and the AP tests were expensive,
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and I needed to get a job to pay for them.
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So I started dancing
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when I was 17 at a bar in my town.
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They asked me if I was 18, I said, yes,
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they didn't check ID, so it wound up working out.
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And it opened me up to a lot of experiences performing
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that I probably wouldn't have gotten otherwise.
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I was spitting fire, I was dancing on bars.
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I was learning the basics of pole dancing.
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My second year of college,
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I started dancing at a very small club.
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It was a pretty tight knit group of girls.
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It was the first time I had a group of girlfriends
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that I really could be myself with.
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-As far as the girls
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in the strip club, don't trust those bitches,
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do not trust those bitches.
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I'm not your friend, she's not your friend.
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We're all here for one reason,
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one reason only, it's crabs in a bucket.
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Bitches are sneaky.
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It wasn't too hard to transition
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from my cheer dance background to stripping.
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If anything, it made it easier.
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I was already flexible,
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I had already knew how to hold my weight,
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and I was already strong,
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so climbing the pole was extremely easy.
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I've been stripping ever since.
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-Growing up having this love for dance,
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I was always open to the idea of going into striping.
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And so, finally I met my friend
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who was a stripper at the time.
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And honestly, she got me to the club the next night.
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I just needed somebody
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to kind of kick my ass through the door and kind of help me,
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guide me through it.
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I wasn't particularly nervous about the dancing
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in front of people or taking my clothes off
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in front of people, I was very comfortable in myself.
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I was more nervous about this whole unknown industry
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that was so looked down upon
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and kind of being uninsured of what I was stepping into.
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-When I'm dancing,
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it's like I'm in a whole different space.
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It's like I'm in a whole different body.
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Most of my clientele are women.
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They love the fact that I go up there and express myself,
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express through my body and art because it's not easy.
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And most women really appreciate that.
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Now, men, you have to work a little bit more,
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but they appreciate the art as well too.
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-Dancing is super therapeutic
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and you're able to move your body to tell a story.
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And whether that story is a sad story,
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a happy story, a sexy story,
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it's your story that you get to tell.
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And that's one thing that's really beautiful about it.
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And you just get lost in the music.
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And I just let go and I move.
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I don't choreograph my dances
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and when I'm done, I feel great.
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-Give it up
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for 2021 Heartbreaker of the year, this is Galaxciii.
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-I love to be aggressive on stage.
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I love to have a good fucking time.
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That is the best part of dancing, and it is empowering.
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-Dance is a part of the performing arts.
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Pole dancing is an art.
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My dancing speaks for me.
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It's never about anyone else, it's always about me.
259
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:56,520
Even though I'm performing, I'm performing for myself.
260
00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:02,480
-When I do a dope pole trick
261
00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:05,360
and all of a sudden I see money rain down on me,
262
00:19:05,490 --> 00:19:08,190
it's fucking dope.
263
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,190
That move that I have been practicing for years
264
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,710
or working on for months,
265
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,930
all of that hard work was worth it.
266
00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:37,870
-Movement really helps to kind of loosen up my body
267
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,570
and I'm able to just really be at peace with myself.
268
00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:49,530
-Here we go, ladies and gentlemen,
269
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,140
get those singles ready,
270
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,140
we've got Sin City's favorite California girl
271
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:55,320
coming up right here on the stage, let's welcome Robi.
272
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:58,500
-I feel like I move like water on stage.
273
00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:03,810
It's like a seductive tease.
274
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:06,590
I can take thousands of dollars from a guy
275
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,640
and not even mention sex.
276
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,730
It's not how everyone hustles,
277
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,860
but that hustle works very well for me.
278
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,820
-Whether you're a boob man or an ass man,
279
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:21,690
one of the things that everybody loves
280
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:25,390
from men to women is twerking.
281
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:45,500
The way that I can move my body, it makes it look so good,
282
00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:49,420
and most women want to do it and men wanna see it.
283
00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:53,990
So, when you're dancing for somebody, it feels good.
284
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,640
It's just something that I believe everybody loves.
285
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:18,970
-Stripping, there's a very fine line.
286
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:21,750
The line is, I never take my panties off.
287
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,890
We are not gonna have sex no matter what.
288
00:21:23,970 --> 00:21:26,890
And so, I think knowing that that boundary
289
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,630
is there makes me so much more comfortable
290
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,590
just being free and being hyper-sexual,
291
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,070
because it is a role that I get to step into
292
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,600
and I do enjoy the acting part of it.
293
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:57,790
-The VIP room is really tricky because in stripping,
294
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,530
there are a lotta unspoken rules,
295
00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:06,020
and it varies on each club and it varies on each girl.
296
00:22:11,060 --> 00:22:15,020
But you are there by yourself and you are half naked
297
00:22:15,110 --> 00:22:16,460
and you're with a guy that's already,
298
00:22:16,590 --> 00:22:19,380
or a girl, that's already lusting for you.
299
00:22:19,510 --> 00:22:23,210
So depending on the club and what each club will allow
300
00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:27,300
and depending on each girl and what each girl will allow,
301
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:33,000
some stuff can happen.
302
00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:45,710
-Doing VIP is way more intimate.
303
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:51,410
It's hands-on, you have to really get in there a little bit.
304
00:22:52,710 --> 00:22:55,060
I'm good, slap my ass, do whatever you wanna do, rub me.
305
00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:56,500
-Okay, all right.
306
00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,940
-You gotta get what you pay for.
307
00:23:00,070 --> 00:23:03,330
-All right.
308
00:23:03,420 --> 00:23:07,210
-I like the VIP because I'm a very sexual person.
309
00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:11,860
So when I'm back there, I'm trying to give my all.
310
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,700
-Cheers.
311
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,580
Don't be scared to touch.
312
00:23:34,970 --> 00:23:37,500
Will you smack that?
313
00:23:37,630 --> 00:23:38,850
I'll be in the back with people,
314
00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:40,940
and I will be telling them what to do.
315
00:23:41,070 --> 00:23:44,030
I'll be moving their hands onto my body.
316
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,120
I will be repositioning them,
317
00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:49,380
and they can just sit back and enjoy the ride.
318
00:23:49,510 --> 00:23:53,470
And that's not something that these men are used to.
319
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,170
And so, they want that feeling more.
320
00:23:55,820 --> 00:23:58,430
And so, that's when we go back for the second hour,
321
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,430
and that's we get the next bottle.
322
00:24:05,220 --> 00:24:07,660
-I definitely believe stripping is sex work.
323
00:24:09,270 --> 00:24:11,970
Some clubs that I've danced at are fully nude,
324
00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:16,010
so that in itself would be sex work.
325
00:24:16,150 --> 00:24:20,060
You're getting enjoyment and pleasure from my nude body.
326
00:24:29,810 --> 00:24:34,690
-I average 2,000 to $2,500 a night, four nights a week.
327
00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:51,220
-When my money bag is nice and full,
328
00:24:51,750 --> 00:24:54,180
it's honestly such a comforting feeling.
329
00:25:07,110 --> 00:25:08,240
-The best night I ever had, I made over $10,000,
330
00:25:08,330 --> 00:25:12,680
and we stayed in the VIP room from00 p.m.
331
00:25:12,810 --> 00:25:15,380
until00 p.m. the next day.
332
00:25:15,510 --> 00:25:18,080
And I charged over $1,000 an hour.
333
00:25:18,210 --> 00:25:19,690
So you can do the maths on that .
334
00:25:23,470 --> 00:25:26,040
Physically holding a large amount of cash
335
00:25:26,170 --> 00:25:29,910
just makes me feel successful,
336
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:31,830
like I have mastered my craft.
337
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:46,370
-The first time I made $3,000, it just made me go harder.
338
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,930
That first 3,000 turned into 5,000.
339
00:25:50,070 --> 00:25:54,070
The first time you hit big, it's like an adrenaline rush.
340
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,850
Like, you feel like wonder woman,
341
00:25:56,940 --> 00:25:58,730
like you could do anything now .
342
00:26:00,470 --> 00:26:03,730
Every $1,000 that I make is a badge of honor.
343
00:26:04,820 --> 00:26:06,430
I'm a thousandaire, I'm proud .
344
00:26:08,170 --> 00:26:10,910
-There were times where I was making two,
345
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,260
three grand a night easy,
346
00:26:13,390 --> 00:26:15,050
I would make that in like two hours.
347
00:26:24,190 --> 00:26:25,840
-You have some hits, you have some misses.
348
00:26:25,930 --> 00:26:27,620
That's just how it goes.
349
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,190
That's how the hustle is.
350
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,190
You just gotta appreciate those times
351
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,020
when it's really, really, really good
352
00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:38,290
and just prepare for when it's really not.
353
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,030
-Take a live look at the Las Vegas Strip
354
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,470
this morning, just hours after a statewide shelter in place
355
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,470
was declared by Nevada's governor.
356
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:48,690
-We're going to be looking
357
00:26:49,210 --> 00:26:51,520
at a very different Las Vegas Strip.
358
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,130
-The business shut down
359
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,170
will affect one of the biggest tourist spots in the country.
360
00:26:56,910 --> 00:26:59,260
-Corona virus fucked up the game.
361
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,530
It put a stop to everything.
362
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:05,970
-March 15th was the last day any dancer
363
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:07,620
would step foot on a stage.
364
00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:13,240
-Here in Las Vegas,
365
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:15,450
our strip clubs took the hardest hit.
366
00:27:15,590 --> 00:27:18,500
We're not essential businesses at all.
367
00:27:22,460 --> 00:27:24,460
-All the clubs got shut down
368
00:27:24,550 --> 00:27:28,420
and every dancer like myself had to figure out
369
00:27:28,510 --> 00:27:30,210
what the fuck we were gonna do.
370
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,430
So when the pandemic hit
371
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,170
and all these stimulus packages came,
372
00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:40,920
they weren't coming for us.
373
00:27:41,050 --> 00:27:44,220
You couldn't work in an explicit environment.
374
00:27:44,310 --> 00:27:46,790
And stripping, even though it's not sex,
375
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:51,620
is an explicit environment.
376
00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,750
-Strippers have to adapt very quickly
377
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,930
and learn to pivot when needed.
378
00:27:57,060 --> 00:27:59,670
That skill I think translated very well
379
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,020
when everything got shut down
380
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,330
and you didn't have a club to go to anymore.
381
00:28:03,460 --> 00:28:06,110
And we had to figure out
382
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,510
how can we do the same kind of interaction and performance
383
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,770
and entertainment in an online platform.
384
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,870
And using those skills, we found ways to make that work.
385
00:28:24,130 --> 00:28:26,530
-I'm a real hustler, I'm a real trapper.
386
00:28:26,660 --> 00:28:29,350
I'll always have more than one source of income.
387
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,490
I have downloaded Streamates.
388
00:28:35,620 --> 00:28:38,670
It's a streaming app for sex workers.
389
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,760
It's webcam modeling.
390
00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:43,630
You don't have to show anything
391
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,890
if you don't wanna show you anything, it's all up to you.
392
00:28:46,020 --> 00:28:48,370
Oh, that's what you're saying .
393
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,690
Here we go.
394
00:28:56,250 --> 00:29:00,170
I started streaming, within the first 72 hours of streaming,
395
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,390
I had already made $500.
396
00:29:06,130 --> 00:29:08,480
They didn't really care
397
00:29:08,610 --> 00:29:11,660
too much to if I was naked or not.
398
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:14,790
They liked me for my conversation, my awkwardness.
399
00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:22,840
I'm making waffles, strawberry, or not strawberry .
400
00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:25,580
Banana and peanut butter waffles.
401
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,240
I'm just trying to get the gains.
402
00:29:33,420 --> 00:29:36,420
-How about I do this for you, right here?
403
00:29:38,340 --> 00:29:40,560
Give you my Valentine's Day gift .
404
00:29:50,260 --> 00:29:53,440
I literally bring the club in my bedroom.
405
00:30:03,490 --> 00:30:06,970
And I've now taken that toward social media
406
00:30:07,100 --> 00:30:08,890
and my online presence.
407
00:30:09,020 --> 00:30:13,500
And because I got introduced to taking the club home
408
00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:16,900
and doing webcam and live shows,
409
00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:19,030
and it opened up a door for fans
410
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,770
that were all around the world.
411
00:30:34,650 --> 00:30:36,130
-I think it's really cool
412
00:30:36,220 --> 00:30:39,480
to make my space my own private club.
413
00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:51,850
To able to create that from home on your phone online,
414
00:30:53,460 --> 00:30:57,070
and it's more of a personal one-on-one experience
415
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:58,680
with other people.
416
00:31:00,030 --> 00:31:02,380
Overall, I love to dance and I love doing it for myself,
417
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,210
but there's a lot of me that loves doing it
418
00:31:07,340 --> 00:31:08,640
more for other people.
419
00:31:20,350 --> 00:31:21,790
-Having a pole in my house
420
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,140
has definitely helped me out a lot.
421
00:31:24,270 --> 00:31:26,400
When I'm at home, I just like to kind
422
00:31:26,530 --> 00:31:31,970
of really focus on dancing for me
423
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,670
'cause it's different dancing on stage for other people,
424
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,370
and then there's dancing for yourself.
425
00:31:36,450 --> 00:31:38,500
You need to dance for yourself
426
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,200
'cause then you really start to appreciate it.
427
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,710
-My vibe when I dance is real mellow,
428
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,320
and I have the lights as low as I want.
429
00:32:16,450 --> 00:32:19,500
I play my slow songs back to back.
430
00:32:19,630 --> 00:32:22,370
And I really vibe out in here.
431
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,370
And that's what's so important to me.
432
00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:26,420
That's what keeps the energy going.
433
00:32:39,780 --> 00:32:41,300
-Yes, you guys, perfect.
434
00:32:46,220 --> 00:32:47,790
The online classes made it so that people
435
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,660
could from all over can take classes
436
00:32:50,790 --> 00:32:51,880
from me like they've been doing.
437
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,100
I've had people the way in the U.K.,
438
00:32:54,230 --> 00:32:56,800
in Australia, in other rural areas
439
00:32:56,930 --> 00:33:00,800
that aren't able to attend in-person classes.
440
00:33:01,500 --> 00:33:05,590
Nice. -And it forced you
441
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,500
to have to take your brand seriously,
442
00:33:09,630 --> 00:33:13,900
because it's not a short game anymore of dancing,
443
00:33:14,030 --> 00:33:16,690
getting all this guy's money and you never see them again.
444
00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:19,300
You're gonna see them again 'cause you're online,
445
00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:22,730
and word of mouth online travels like that,
446
00:33:22,870 --> 00:33:25,610
and you can lose your fan base, and then where's your money?
447
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,610
-I want you
448
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,610
to grab the rail a little bit, that's perfect, there you go.
449
00:33:34,750 --> 00:33:38,010
-My name now means a lot more to me
450
00:33:38,140 --> 00:33:40,540
and my brand that I'm trying to produce
451
00:33:40,670 --> 00:33:42,320
means a lot more to me.
452
00:33:42,410 --> 00:33:46,670
So, I really try very hard to portray the person I am.
453
00:33:52,070 --> 00:33:53,330
I'm really good at makeup,
454
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,200
obviously, like duh, but .
455
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,910
And I'm not scared to show anybody my bad side,
456
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,300
and I'm not scared to show anybody my goofy side,
457
00:34:06,780 --> 00:34:10,390
and how I've gotten from point A to point Z.
458
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,830
Social media is a great way
459
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,050
for everybody to see how I'm progressing,
460
00:34:15,180 --> 00:34:18,830
because there's a lot of levels to this shit.
461
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:24,270
-One, two.
462
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,190
One more, one more.
463
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:31,500
-So, I obtained and made sure I maintained photo-shoots
464
00:34:31,590 --> 00:34:36,370
and constantly trying to be active on my social media
465
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:38,330
to promote myself, that's all we have.
466
00:34:47,780 --> 00:34:51,130
It's a fantasy ultimately that I'm trying to sell
467
00:34:51,210 --> 00:34:52,780
and that I do sell.
468
00:34:52,910 --> 00:34:55,610
So I wanna be something totally different,
469
00:34:55,740 --> 00:34:59,180
something exclusive, something
470
00:34:59,310 --> 00:35:00,750
that they're fantasizing about.
471
00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:07,840
So, I rely heavily on Instagram.
472
00:35:07,930 --> 00:35:11,630
My first Instagram that I was promoting myself on
473
00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:15,890
had around 87,000 people or followers.
474
00:35:16,020 --> 00:35:19,810
And that page, I made so much money.
475
00:35:26,210 --> 00:35:27,730
-So, at the start of the pandemic,
476
00:35:27,860 --> 00:35:30,780
I was in Santa Cruz for my birthday,
477
00:35:30,860 --> 00:35:33,560
the weekend that everything got shut down.
478
00:35:33,690 --> 00:35:36,610
So, I was in California for a while,
479
00:35:36,740 --> 00:35:38,570
working at the beach lifeguarding.
480
00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:39,830
They needed a lot of help.
481
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,740
We were facing beach closures.
482
00:35:41,870 --> 00:35:45,570
We were doing 70 hour weeks during a pandemic.
483
00:35:45,660 --> 00:35:49,660
-Union 93's 14 John NN3, 108, good morning.
484
00:35:49,790 --> 00:35:51,580
-Good work, good morning.
485
00:35:51,670 --> 00:35:52,970
-Copy, we'll be in route.
486
00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:55,280
It was really high stress.
487
00:35:55,410 --> 00:35:58,500
On top of listening to the 911 scanner all day,
488
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,550
hearing about how there's no beds at the hospital
489
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:02,980
every 10 minutes.
490
00:36:03,460 --> 00:36:06,940
Northern 14th John, entering .
491
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,860
We're just gonna wait until Harbor gets here,
492
00:36:11,990 --> 00:36:13,510
and then you're gonna get on the Harbor boat
493
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,120
and help them with this.
494
00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:16,300
Then we're all gonna go back to the Harbor.
495
00:36:16,430 --> 00:36:17,690
-Sounds good. -Yeah.
496
00:36:18,390 --> 00:36:20,780
You guys get a free jet ski ride today .
497
00:36:20,910 --> 00:36:23,000
There were so many
498
00:36:23,130 --> 00:36:26,270
more deaths, there were so many more drownings.
499
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:31,010
It was a lot.
500
00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:32,400
I love lifeguarding.
501
00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:36,490
I love being able to take control of a situation
502
00:36:36,580 --> 00:36:39,630
where I might be the only person in control.
503
00:36:39,710 --> 00:36:44,810
One hand.
504
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,290
I would lifeguard full-time
505
00:36:50,810 --> 00:36:54,900
if it made sense financially for me.
506
00:36:55,030 --> 00:36:59,080
But I have to be making money, I have to pay bills.
507
00:36:59,730 --> 00:37:01,300
My parents are getting older.
508
00:37:01,390 --> 00:37:04,040
I have to be able to support them.
509
00:37:04,130 --> 00:37:07,390
And I think I have an underlying fear
510
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,270
of being really poor again.
511
00:37:09,350 --> 00:37:12,700
And I'm really willing to do whatever it takes
512
00:37:12,830 --> 00:37:14,440
to make sure that that never happens.
513
00:37:14,530 --> 00:37:17,880
But it is stressful at times, for sure.
514
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,710
-Before COVID,
515
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,450
things were good, but I feel
516
00:37:23,580 --> 00:37:25,670
like I actually started making a lot more money
517
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,760
when COVID hit than I did before.
518
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,640
There was nowhere to work, there was nothing you could do,
519
00:37:33,770 --> 00:37:36,550
but you had to make it work, so you made stuff happen.
520
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,080
I made stuff happen.
521
00:37:38,210 --> 00:37:40,640
Going to the bars, and finding clients,
522
00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:43,390
and throwing parties together, throwing events together.
523
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:48,650
My hustle just turned on,
524
00:37:48,780 --> 00:37:53,220
when everything shut down, my instincts shined.
525
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,440
When you grip with both legs and you just kinda hang.
526
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,270
-Oh, like a side bar to it.
527
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,060
-Mm-hmm, can you do that?
528
00:38:03,190 --> 00:38:04,360
I can teach you that.
529
00:38:05,670 --> 00:38:08,930
During COVID, I actually did start doing pole classes.
530
00:38:10,110 --> 00:38:12,890
Obviously, it was another source of income.
531
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:20,550
Legs up, hold your grip, boom, hold, split, yeah.
532
00:38:25,780 --> 00:38:26,910
And that was another way.
533
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:28,610
And also meeting other girls
534
00:38:28,690 --> 00:38:32,130
that are down to perform at events, at gigs.
535
00:38:32,260 --> 00:38:36,180
You just gotta kind of find where your strengths are.
536
00:38:36,310 --> 00:38:40,840
And my strength is just hustling.
537
00:38:40,970 --> 00:38:42,450
Hustle was within my blood.
538
00:38:56,070 --> 00:39:00,200
-Okay, good job.
539
00:39:01,290 --> 00:39:03,510
I have my own pole company, Tricks By Yas.
540
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,430
I do women's sessions, private one-on-ones.
541
00:39:07,860 --> 00:39:08,950
So, that's fine.
542
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,690
That is my second stream of income.
543
00:39:12,780 --> 00:39:17,220
I would say I've had at least 100 girls
544
00:39:17,350 --> 00:39:21,920
over the past 14 months that have hit me up.
545
00:39:22,050 --> 00:39:24,490
'Cause that way, you'll have more control.
546
00:39:24,620 --> 00:39:26,970
Pole dancing I'm forever progressing at.
547
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:29,140
I always want to meet people
548
00:39:29,230 --> 00:39:33,890
who do teach professional pole dance classes
549
00:39:34,020 --> 00:39:35,980
because I don't have that background.
550
00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:37,720
I never took a pole class.
551
00:39:37,850 --> 00:39:39,980
It's always good to keep learning.
552
00:39:40,110 --> 00:39:41,330
No matter what you're doing,
553
00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:42,810
it's always good to keep learning.
554
00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,730
You can always know more, you can always improve.
555
00:39:55,820 --> 00:39:58,130
-In the pandemic, I started doing Onlyfans
556
00:39:58,220 --> 00:40:00,130
because a second source of income,
557
00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:02,000
they cut our pay at life guarding.
558
00:40:02,130 --> 00:40:05,090
And I was very lucky that my stripper friends
559
00:40:05,220 --> 00:40:08,100
are also doing Onlyfans.
560
00:40:08,230 --> 00:40:11,270
And Jesse helped me so much.
561
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,840
She said, "You have to make your Onlyfans,
562
00:40:14,970 --> 00:40:16,580
"you have to make your online platform,
563
00:40:16,710 --> 00:40:19,240
"a safe space for you."
564
00:40:19,370 --> 00:40:23,810
And if I'm making it reflect me,
565
00:40:23,890 --> 00:40:27,250
then it's gonna be so much easier to put work into it,
566
00:40:27,380 --> 00:40:31,380
and to spend the time editing videos, and networking.
567
00:40:38,390 --> 00:40:41,260
So my mornings start with a cup of coffee,
568
00:40:41,390 --> 00:40:43,570
and sitting on my couch, and catching up
569
00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:46,870
with all of the social media from the night before,
570
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,480
seeing how my Onlyfans did,
571
00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:50,880
how much money did I make while I was sleeping.
572
00:41:06,110 --> 00:41:09,900
-So my mom was a single mom, so she worked a lot.
573
00:41:09,980 --> 00:41:11,860
So, I just wanted to help take care of the family
574
00:41:11,990 --> 00:41:14,420
and help provide for my mom.
575
00:41:14,510 --> 00:41:19,470
And I remember seeing a ad on Craigslist for modeling,
576
00:41:20,470 --> 00:41:22,130
and it was advertised as teen glamor.
577
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:28,000
At 16 $600 a day for two days, that's a lot.
578
00:41:28,130 --> 00:41:31,090
So that kind of drove me to do it.
579
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,310
I definitely ended up thinking I
580
00:41:36,450 --> 00:41:40,010
was gonna be taking pictures with just a bra and panty.
581
00:41:40,140 --> 00:41:41,930
And I ended up being naked
582
00:41:42,060 --> 00:41:44,240
with a shear sheet, covering me.
583
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:50,940
The makeup I think for me was more shocking now
584
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:52,770
than it was at the time.
585
00:41:52,850 --> 00:41:55,290
I should have known better.
586
00:41:56,990 --> 00:42:00,690
We're half naked and were under the age of 18.
587
00:42:00,820 --> 00:42:02,380
When you're 15, 16,
588
00:42:02,470 --> 00:42:04,950
you don't think about the consequences of the choices
589
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,820
that you make and how those will play a part
590
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,300
of your future life.
591
00:42:09,910 --> 00:42:12,390
So, to take that two seconds of time to say, hey,
592
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:15,400
is this something I'm really prepared for?
593
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,620
Is this something I really can handle?
594
00:42:19,310 --> 00:42:21,190
And understanding that once you get in it,
595
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:26,500
you can't go back, it might change the path
596
00:42:27,450 --> 00:42:29,190
that the younger me would have took.
597
00:42:30,410 --> 00:42:34,550
-So my mom was a single mom.
598
00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:39,460
We were pretty poor, but she did a really good job
599
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,600
of not making it feel that way.
600
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,990
We were still able to prioritize fun on the weekends.
601
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:53,390
Instead of doing Christmas
602
00:42:54,220 --> 00:42:55,220
where we have lots of presents and stuff like that,
603
00:42:55,350 --> 00:42:58,350
we would focus on experiences instead.
604
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,140
It's not Christmas eve. -Oh, okay.
605
00:43:00,270 --> 00:43:02,270
I thought that was Santa at the doors or something.
606
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,010
-And around middle school and high school,
607
00:43:04,140 --> 00:43:05,970
my mom and me stopped getting along.
608
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:08,710
We would fight almost every day.
609
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,190
Sometimes it would get pretty bad.
610
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,060
The cops came to our house quite a few times.
611
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:18,850
She was really strict and that made me rebellious.
612
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,430
-Come in, you don't go around
613
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,650
like that with the camera, you just turn it off,
614
00:43:30,780 --> 00:43:32,650
and then you leave it.
615
00:43:32,780 --> 00:43:34,220
Are you off? -No, I'm waiting
616
00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:37,040
for you to put it in.
617
00:43:37,170 --> 00:43:39,830
I thought it was her problem.
618
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:44,180
I thought that she is just out to get me.
619
00:43:44,270 --> 00:43:46,270
And I didn't realize
620
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,490
that she has her own mental health issues.
621
00:43:49,620 --> 00:43:53,800
And so, I think if I could tell my younger self anything,
622
00:43:53,890 --> 00:43:58,810
it would be to just be a little bit more understanding.
623
00:44:00,070 --> 00:44:03,240
There's things that you might not know about her story,
624
00:44:03,370 --> 00:44:04,940
about anyone's story, really
625
00:44:05,070 --> 00:44:08,380
that impact how they interact with people.
626
00:44:14,390 --> 00:44:16,910
-Growing up, I kind of always have struggled a little bit
627
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,040
with anxiety and depression.
628
00:44:20,170 --> 00:44:23,740
Get very nervous just going outside, anywhere in public.
629
00:44:25,610 --> 00:44:26,700
I don't like going to the gas station.
630
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,010
I don't like going to the grocery store, I literally can't.
631
00:44:29,140 --> 00:44:31,530
I will literally go sit in my car,
632
00:44:31,620 --> 00:44:34,010
freak the fuck out and be like, no,
633
00:44:34,140 --> 00:44:35,710
and I've even done that with clubs.
634
00:44:36,490 --> 00:44:38,320
I've literally driven up to a club, sat there in my car,
635
00:44:38,450 --> 00:44:41,630
and I was like, fuck that, and drove away
636
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,290
because I was just kind of so anxious
637
00:44:44,370 --> 00:44:47,290
and just could not get myself to step out of the car,
638
00:44:47,420 --> 00:44:49,990
I had to really leave to calm down.
639
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,900
And I've even been working in the club
640
00:44:52,030 --> 00:44:53,640
and ended up having to go home
641
00:44:53,730 --> 00:44:56,340
just because it was affecting me that much.
642
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,040
If I could talk to myself when I was younger,
643
00:45:03,170 --> 00:45:07,570
15, still in high school, still trying to figure stuff out,
644
00:45:07,660 --> 00:45:09,180
is that even though you're lost,
645
00:45:09,310 --> 00:45:11,570
you're going to figure it on out.
646
00:45:11,660 --> 00:45:14,450
And even though people look at you differently,
647
00:45:14,580 --> 00:45:16,360
you are going to find somewhere where you fit in,
648
00:45:16,490 --> 00:45:18,540
you are going to find a community.
649
00:45:25,070 --> 00:45:26,720
-When we moved to Vegas
650
00:45:26,850 --> 00:45:28,240
after my grandmother died,
651
00:45:28,330 --> 00:45:30,680
I started taking on a different role
652
00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:32,680
as the parent, a second mom.
653
00:45:32,810 --> 00:45:35,120
We had to come to Vegas from New York,
654
00:45:35,250 --> 00:45:38,470
and it was just a really rough time.
655
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,390
My dad started falling apart.
656
00:45:41,470 --> 00:45:44,780
I started realizing that things were getting really bad
657
00:45:44,910 --> 00:45:49,350
around 12 or 13, we would go without lights, water, food.
658
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,960
I had to make sure that my brothers
659
00:45:52,090 --> 00:45:54,090
and sisters made it to school,
660
00:45:54,220 --> 00:45:57,360
all while trying to get myself ready for school.
661
00:45:57,490 --> 00:46:00,800
And I would miss most of my schooling,
662
00:46:00,930 --> 00:46:04,540
making sure that all of the babies made it to school first.
663
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:09,020
Most would think where was your mom at during all of this,
664
00:46:09,150 --> 00:46:10,760
how could she let that stuff go on,
665
00:46:10,890 --> 00:46:14,290
but ultimately, they were doing drugs together.
666
00:46:14,420 --> 00:46:16,680
So she was weakened anyway.
667
00:46:16,810 --> 00:46:20,210
It was a lot more struggles than happiness.
668
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:23,600
If I could say anything to my dad right now,
669
00:46:23,730 --> 00:46:26,340
it would be that I'm happy
670
00:46:26,470 --> 00:46:29,650
that we did go through what we went through,
671
00:46:29,780 --> 00:46:34,220
but it was really tough on me being the oldest.
672
00:46:35,790 --> 00:46:38,530
Excuse me .
673
00:46:49,450 --> 00:46:52,150
I'm just happy that God made it me
674
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,980
to go through it with them,
675
00:46:54,110 --> 00:46:58,160
because there's no telling where we would be
676
00:46:58,290 --> 00:46:59,460
if it wasn't me.
677
00:47:01,730 --> 00:47:02,600
Fuzzy hair .
678
00:47:02,730 --> 00:47:03,470
-Thanks .
679
00:47:15,350 --> 00:47:20,310
-My drug use and alcohol abuse started probably at 14.
680
00:47:24,270 --> 00:47:26,190
-Go Mandy, go Mandy, go, yeah, ooh.
681
00:47:32,410 --> 00:47:37,590
-Pills, coke, Molly, meth, alcohol.
682
00:47:38,850 --> 00:47:41,510
I would chug liquor like it was nobody's business.
683
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,900
I would chug liquor like it was water.
684
00:47:44,940 --> 00:47:46,550
The people I had met,
685
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:48,730
again they were six years older than me,
686
00:47:48,860 --> 00:47:53,520
we would ride around all night, all day, all night,
687
00:47:53,650 --> 00:47:56,910
all day, they would sell, I would sell for them.
688
00:47:58,090 --> 00:48:01,310
We would do coke all night, we would do acid all day,
689
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,480
pop Molly, pop E, I would blink
690
00:48:03,610 --> 00:48:05,440
and it would be a month had gone by
691
00:48:05,530 --> 00:48:07,710
and I had no idea what had just happened.
692
00:48:09,580 --> 00:48:15,100
I have been hospitalized
693
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:19,280
three times from overdosing. -Come on, Mandy.
694
00:48:19,370 --> 00:48:23,720
-Whoa, Mandy, yes, Mandy, oh, smack that ass.
695
00:48:27,900 --> 00:48:30,380
-Since I was a young kid hanging out with the big kids,
696
00:48:30,510 --> 00:48:33,380
I just wanted to flaunt, I just wanted to brag
697
00:48:33,510 --> 00:48:35,300
about the things I was doing.
698
00:48:35,390 --> 00:48:38,080
I just felt the need to post it.
699
00:48:38,210 --> 00:48:41,390
And also if I was selling it for other people
700
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,700
in order for me to have a place to stay,
701
00:48:43,830 --> 00:48:45,790
that's what I would do.
702
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,660
Almost every second of it, I would document.
703
00:48:48,750 --> 00:48:51,970
I would post all the crazy college parties I was going to.
704
00:48:52,100 --> 00:48:54,270
At first it was, people were like, whoa,
705
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,540
this girl's life is so exciting.
706
00:48:56,670 --> 00:49:00,280
And then, it started getting down to, wow,
707
00:49:00,410 --> 00:49:02,890
you've lost a lot of weight, are you okay?
708
00:49:04,590 --> 00:49:07,900
I had moved to Vegas and I weighed 100 pounds.
709
00:49:08,030 --> 00:49:10,900
My priorities were still fucked up.
710
00:49:11,030 --> 00:49:13,950
But as I started progressing,
711
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,210
I started dropping a lot of people.
712
00:49:16,340 --> 00:49:17,910
I stopped hanging out with a lot of people.
713
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,300
I stopped partying, I stopped drinking.
714
00:49:20,430 --> 00:49:21,950
So I quit drinking.
715
00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:25,310
I am two months sober now.
716
00:49:26,780 --> 00:49:31,010
No drugs, no drinking.
717
00:49:31,090 --> 00:49:35,180
Being sober, I feel like I appreciate myself so much more.
718
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:40,620
The advice that I would give to my teenage self
719
00:49:43,060 --> 00:49:44,630
would be don't change anything,
720
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:47,200
because if I didn't go through
721
00:49:47,330 --> 00:49:49,810
what I went through as a teenager,
722
00:49:49,940 --> 00:49:51,510
I would be going through it right now.
723
00:50:08,780 --> 00:50:10,350
-But I kind of fumbled my bag a bit
724
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,920
and I lost my scholarship
725
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:16,360
because I wasn't able to maintain the GPA required
726
00:50:16,490 --> 00:50:17,710
for that scholarship.
727
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,400
It took a really big toll on me.
728
00:50:23,410 --> 00:50:26,240
Depression is a motherfucker.
729
00:50:26,370 --> 00:50:27,850
It doesn't get easier,
730
00:50:27,980 --> 00:50:30,940
and I don't think it will ever go away.
731
00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:34,370
No one's talking about depression.
732
00:50:34,500 --> 00:50:38,990
So it's only enabling the feeling that okay,
733
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,250
black people don't get depressed.
734
00:50:40,380 --> 00:50:41,560
This is a real thing.
735
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:43,300
Black people are not allowed to be depressed.
736
00:50:43,820 --> 00:50:46,470
We can't, we just deal with it, we gotta deal with it.
737
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,610
And since I was in that depression,
738
00:50:49,740 --> 00:50:52,040
I started thinking about everything.
739
00:50:52,170 --> 00:50:56,660
I was like, well, dang, you should be
740
00:50:56,790 --> 00:50:58,790
on your way to graduation right now,
741
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:02,490
but you fucked up your scholarship for what?
742
00:51:02,620 --> 00:51:04,620
You're a fuck up, that's how I felt.
743
00:51:04,750 --> 00:51:08,580
You're undeserving of anything, you're undeserving of life.
744
00:51:08,710 --> 00:51:10,710
And I took it upon myself
745
00:51:10,850 --> 00:51:15,020
to take every prescription medication,
746
00:51:15,110 --> 00:51:18,810
I overdosed on 30 plus pills.
747
00:51:20,420 --> 00:51:24,860
The person who found me was my boyfriend at the time.
748
00:51:24,990 --> 00:51:26,210
And had he not came,
749
00:51:26,860 --> 00:51:28,340
I probably wouldn't be sitting in this chair,
750
00:51:28,470 --> 00:51:30,470
saying this story today because I was
751
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,520
on life support for three days,
752
00:51:33,650 --> 00:51:37,050
and just waking up, that's nothing,
753
00:51:37,180 --> 00:51:42,090
but God, depression does not belong to a race.
754
00:51:43,750 --> 00:51:45,580
It comes for everybody
755
00:51:45,710 --> 00:51:47,750
and it comes in many different ways.
756
00:51:51,710 --> 00:51:54,410
Suicide is definitely not the answer.
757
00:52:08,860 --> 00:52:13,560
-Bow slightly, three, two.
758
00:52:13,690 --> 00:52:15,170
Shit.
759
00:52:15,740 --> 00:52:19,480
-I am fortunate that I have a partner in my life.
760
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:27,270
My partner is a photographer.
761
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:29,880
We have a lot of fun together, we laugh a lot.
762
00:52:29,970 --> 00:52:33,010
I cannot laugh, okay .
763
00:52:40,330 --> 00:52:43,290
Shut up .
764
00:52:46,980 --> 00:52:48,330
We're both competitive.
765
00:52:49,810 --> 00:52:51,860
We also clash because of that,
766
00:52:51,990 --> 00:52:56,600
because he's a power dude and I'm a power woman.
767
00:52:56,690 --> 00:52:58,820
Sometimes we're at odds.
768
00:52:58,950 --> 00:53:00,870
We can go all day about the stupid TV.
769
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,520
You wanna know how much I disliked the TV,
770
00:53:03,650 --> 00:53:06,050
because I was happily on my way
771
00:53:06,180 --> 00:53:08,750
to go get the drill, remember?
772
00:53:08,830 --> 00:53:12,050
And then you came over and tried to rub up behind me,
773
00:53:12,180 --> 00:53:14,840
like, babe, can I go next door and buy the TV?
774
00:53:17,010 --> 00:53:19,020
And remember I brought the drill over there,
775
00:53:19,150 --> 00:53:22,980
and we've now been to three separate fucking Walmarts
776
00:53:23,980 --> 00:53:26,550
where the drill doesn't grab the bit.
777
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:28,070
-So, that's you hate of my TV,
778
00:53:28,940 --> 00:53:30,030
it's got to do with the drill? -Yeah, your TV is, yeah.
779
00:53:30,110 --> 00:53:31,680
Okay, so, we're gonna
780
00:53:31,810 --> 00:53:34,860
put that there, I don't want, babe, stop, no.
781
00:53:36,430 --> 00:53:38,170
-How much I'm putting .
782
00:53:59,710 --> 00:54:02,760
-I love bonding with my sister, it's a lot of fun.
783
00:54:02,890 --> 00:54:05,020
It's great to know that she helps me
784
00:54:05,110 --> 00:54:06,460
in a lot of different areas,
785
00:54:06,540 --> 00:54:07,890
I help her in a lot of different.
786
00:54:09,460 --> 00:54:10,850
Oh, yeah.
787
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:15,900
We used to always play cards together actually before,
788
00:54:15,990 --> 00:54:17,160
even with our mom, we would play cards.
789
00:54:17,810 --> 00:54:20,340
So when she comes over and we get to do that,
790
00:54:20,470 --> 00:54:23,690
it's super cool.
791
00:54:25,170 --> 00:54:27,560
-Shit, wait, whoa. -Don't fuck around,
792
00:54:27,690 --> 00:54:32,610
I know what you've got.
793
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:37,400
-I thought you had a Jack, why did I think you had a Jack?
794
00:54:37,530 --> 00:54:38,570
-I don't know, you saw what I had too.
795
00:54:38,660 --> 00:54:43,230
-I did, stupid.
796
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:49,020
-Don't shoulder mount and Superman, if anything,
797
00:54:49,150 --> 00:54:53,290
shoulder mount, leg hang, grab, Superman.
798
00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:56,680
-Oh, okay, let's try that, let's try that, okay.
799
00:54:57,940 --> 00:54:59,200
-Leg hang. -Rob.
800
00:54:59,330 --> 00:55:01,160
-Up. -Bring it in, okay.
801
00:55:02,340 --> 00:55:03,900
-Up, grab. -Superman.
802
00:55:04,470 --> 00:55:05,650
-Superman, don't lock your feet, don't lock your feet.
803
00:55:05,780 --> 00:55:07,170
-See, and that is where I get stuck.
804
00:55:07,260 --> 00:55:09,650
-Point your toes, grab yourself up.
805
00:55:09,780 --> 00:55:12,610
-And that's where I get stuck.
806
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:15,050
-She doesn't really do pole tricks that much anymore,
807
00:55:15,130 --> 00:55:17,400
but she's very experienced, so when she does,
808
00:55:17,530 --> 00:55:19,570
she's been doing this a lot longer than me.
809
00:55:19,700 --> 00:55:21,230
So when she comes over,
810
00:55:21,970 --> 00:55:23,710
I like to teach her and show her the stuff that I know
811
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:25,450
and the stuff that I've learned.
812
00:55:29,150 --> 00:55:31,410
It's really fun to be able to teach her those things
813
00:55:31,540 --> 00:55:34,980
because she is the reason why I do this in the first place.
814
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:52,870
-There you go. -That was really good.
815
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,690
-Did I do okay ?
816
00:55:54,780 --> 00:55:56,000
-So, wait, okay, ready?
817
00:55:56,130 --> 00:55:58,130
Come on, three, two.
818
00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:08,190
I have a seven year old daughter, she's my pride and joy.
819
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:12,890
She came in my 12th grade year of high school.
820
00:56:14,020 --> 00:56:16,320
I like that, hey.
821
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:23,380
The importance of family to me is everything.
822
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,820
They're the only ones who know my struggle.
823
00:56:30,990 --> 00:56:32,430
Me and my brothers and sisters,
824
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:35,000
we get together very frequently,
825
00:56:35,130 --> 00:56:36,780
whether it be dinner or going out.
826
00:56:36,910 --> 00:56:38,560
But one of our favorite things
827
00:56:38,650 --> 00:56:40,960
are just eating and vibing together.
828
00:56:47,140 --> 00:56:49,840
It gives my daughter a chance to be around her family,
829
00:56:49,970 --> 00:56:52,450
her uncles who love her so much.
830
00:56:52,580 --> 00:56:54,190
And she loves them being around.
831
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:57,580
So, they really give her a lotta love.
832
00:56:57,710 --> 00:57:01,060
They're everything to her.
833
00:57:04,370 --> 00:57:07,110
Watching my brothers interact with my daughter
834
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,730
just makes me so proud that I was able
835
00:57:09,860 --> 00:57:13,600
to one, bring up loving and caring men,
836
00:57:13,690 --> 00:57:16,250
and for two, it just makes me so happy
837
00:57:16,380 --> 00:57:19,650
to see that she's able to be a kid
838
00:57:19,780 --> 00:57:22,740
and she's able to have fun and smile and laugh.
839
00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:29,880
During this pandemic, it's really tough on me though.
840
00:57:30,010 --> 00:57:32,530
I'm sure any parent could understand
841
00:57:32,620 --> 00:57:35,970
what I'm going through with online school,
842
00:57:36,100 --> 00:57:39,800
it's the most tedious thing.
843
00:57:39,930 --> 00:57:42,720
10, so it's 10, 20? -30?
844
00:57:47,020 --> 00:57:51,070
-One, two, three, you have to look at the last number.
845
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,070
So if all the first numbers are the same,
846
00:57:54,470 --> 00:57:55,900
look at the second number, good job.
847
00:57:56,030 --> 00:57:59,860
Having a seven year old try and sit down all day
848
00:57:59,990 --> 00:58:02,300
is the hardest job I've ever had in my life.
849
00:58:04,300 --> 00:58:06,650
-Join the party.
850
00:58:08,390 --> 00:58:10,830
-When I say my dad is my best friend,
851
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:14,010
I mean that my dad is my best friend.
852
00:58:15,790 --> 00:58:17,750
-Up to it, down to it.
853
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,010
Fuck those that don't do it.
854
00:58:20,140 --> 00:58:23,020
We do it 'cause we used to, drink,
855
00:58:23,150 --> 00:58:25,710
mother fucker, drink, woo, woo.
856
00:58:27,020 --> 00:58:31,420
-We can sit with each other forever and not say anything
857
00:58:32,550 --> 00:58:35,160
or say everything and still have more to say.
858
00:58:36,810 --> 00:58:40,120
My dad is always surprising me.
859
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:44,210
His stories, they go on and on and on.
860
00:58:44,340 --> 00:58:46,390
And they're so interesting. -I was getting ready
861
00:58:46,470 --> 00:58:48,690
to go on a new kids tour, and that's when they
862
00:58:48,820 --> 00:58:49,960
had just designed this shirts
863
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:52,050
for the tour, you know what I mean?
864
00:58:52,180 --> 00:58:53,920
We selling t-shirts on the tour.
865
00:58:58,830 --> 00:59:00,530
-I thought you knew.
866
00:59:00,620 --> 00:59:04,750
The relationship that I have with my little sister,
867
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:09,500
I try to set the best example for her as her big sister.
868
00:59:09,630 --> 00:59:11,850
I try to be someone that she can confide in.
869
00:59:11,980 --> 00:59:15,500
I also try to be someone that she can have fun with.
870
00:59:15,590 --> 00:59:19,290
It's a crazy family, but we all take care of each other
871
00:59:19,420 --> 00:59:23,160
at the end of the day.
872
00:59:26,950 --> 00:59:28,170
-So, I'm an only child.
873
00:59:28,910 --> 00:59:32,260
So, I have found myself placing a lot of value
874
00:59:32,350 --> 00:59:37,180
on my friendships and investing a lot of time
875
00:59:38,220 --> 00:59:39,750
and love into those friendships.
876
00:59:42,530 --> 00:59:45,360
Doing photo shoots with my friends who are also sex workers,
877
00:59:45,490 --> 00:59:49,020
is it's so different, the energy is different.
878
00:59:49,150 --> 00:59:50,970
Goldie makes me feel so sexy
879
00:59:51,100 --> 00:59:53,540
when I get in front of her camera, and it's always fun,
880
00:59:53,670 --> 00:59:57,240
and I never feel drained afterwards.
881
01:00:00,590 --> 01:00:05,070
Sometimes I need to be around people who understand,
882
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:09,510
because maybe I'm having a problem
883
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:13,260
that is so specific to how society views us.
884
01:00:20,390 --> 01:00:24,660
-And stretch on out.
885
01:00:37,450 --> 01:00:40,280
One thing that I love about stripping
886
01:00:40,410 --> 01:00:42,290
is the people it's allowed me to meet,
887
01:00:43,420 --> 01:00:44,330
like my friend Kevin.
888
01:01:04,310 --> 01:01:06,140
You can choose your support system
889
01:01:06,270 --> 01:01:08,570
through the friends that you have around you.
890
01:01:08,660 --> 01:01:13,530
And having somebody there while we're all struggling through
891
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:15,710
what's going on in the world
892
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,670
can really just make a whole lot of a difference.
893
01:01:25,420 --> 01:01:28,030
We all really need is a support system.
894
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:31,380
And some people have their families, some don't.
895
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:58,190
-With adult entertainment, you are bare.
896
01:01:59,540 --> 01:02:03,020
Once you take that outfit off, it is what you got working.
897
01:02:03,150 --> 01:02:05,370
And either it works or doesn't.
898
01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:08,500
Getting my boobs for me
899
01:02:08,630 --> 01:02:11,420
was the best investment I've ever made
900
01:02:11,550 --> 01:02:15,510
because it improved my income dramatically.
901
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,860
And I don't think it was because of my boobs being big.
902
01:02:18,990 --> 01:02:20,820
I think it was a confidence factor.
903
01:02:20,950 --> 01:02:23,690
I think that when you are constantly under a microscope
904
01:02:23,820 --> 01:02:25,260
and judging yourself,
905
01:02:26,090 --> 01:02:28,000
when you do that little thing that makes you feel good,
906
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:30,570
it gives you that sense of inner confidence.
907
01:02:30,700 --> 01:02:33,440
And that's what shows, that's what they're reading.
908
01:02:33,570 --> 01:02:36,180
When you're in that environment,
909
01:02:36,310 --> 01:02:38,270
they're feeling that energy.
910
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:43,060
Does this girl need my money or does she want my money?
911
01:02:43,150 --> 01:02:45,970
And the girl that's hot, that's in control of herself,
912
01:02:46,060 --> 01:02:48,850
oh, I want your money, but I don't need your money.
913
01:02:48,980 --> 01:02:49,850
And that's sexy.
914
01:02:52,630 --> 01:02:55,940
-I don't feel like bodies are some weird sexual thing
915
01:02:56,070 --> 01:02:58,290
that you have to keep covered.
916
01:02:58,420 --> 01:03:00,680
I just feel like it's just a body.
917
01:03:00,820 --> 01:03:02,640
It's not that big of a deal.
918
01:03:02,730 --> 01:03:08,000
And so, getting on stage and being half naked,
919
01:03:09,350 --> 01:03:11,430
it just doesn't feel weird to me, it feels really natural.
920
01:03:13,570 --> 01:03:16,000
I wouldn't get my nails done if I wasn't a stripper,
921
01:03:16,140 --> 01:03:20,310
I wouldn't spend so much money on dyeing my hair.
922
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:23,060
I wouldn't be buying makeup.
923
01:03:23,190 --> 01:03:25,800
I wouldn't be doing this stuff if I wasn't a stripper.
924
01:03:25,930 --> 01:03:29,320
My day-to-day life, I don't wear makeup, I have a hard time,
925
01:03:29,450 --> 01:03:31,240
I struggle with having long hair.
926
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:34,630
I think if I wasn't a stripper, I would've shaved my head
927
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,550
probably five years ago,
928
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:41,420
but it's something that I have to do to make money.
929
01:03:43,420 --> 01:03:45,950
I am a luxury product.
930
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:51,000
So I have to spend time and money into being luxury.
931
01:03:57,700 --> 01:04:00,960
I knew at a very young age that I always wanted boobs.
932
01:04:01,090 --> 01:04:03,360
So it's something that I did for myself.
933
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,490
It has nothing to do with the strip club at all.
934
01:04:06,620 --> 01:04:09,060
But I did go ahead after a few years
935
01:04:09,190 --> 01:04:11,020
of working in a strip club,
936
01:04:11,150 --> 01:04:15,410
get a breast augmentation and it made the money go up.
937
01:04:18,150 --> 01:04:21,240
I started getting tattoos at a very young age,
938
01:04:21,330 --> 01:04:23,940
which was a very bad decision.
939
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:29,600
All my tattoos were between the age of 15 and 19.
940
01:04:29,690 --> 01:04:33,040
And I almost hate every single last one of them.
941
01:04:40,220 --> 01:04:41,960
-Confidence is everything.
942
01:04:42,090 --> 01:04:43,920
If you don't have confidence,
943
01:04:44,050 --> 01:04:48,580
you are going to get ate the fuck up in this industry,
944
01:04:48,710 --> 01:04:51,270
not just by the girls, but by the customers,
945
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,580
and yourself especially.
946
01:04:53,670 --> 01:04:56,100
These strip clubs out here in Las Vegas,
947
01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:58,370
all you see is plastic.
948
01:04:58,450 --> 01:05:00,540
And that's a reason why I do so well
949
01:05:00,670 --> 01:05:04,940
is because I'm not plastic, I have real features on me.
950
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:07,810
Perfect.
951
01:05:07,940 --> 01:05:09,340
And you can squeeze my breasts
952
01:05:09,470 --> 01:05:11,080
and not think you're gonna pop it.
953
01:05:13,950 --> 01:05:17,000
The majority of the women in there have their breasts done
954
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:21,350
and they have some type of ass implant or a hip sculpted,
955
01:05:22,910 --> 01:05:25,920
or maybe a rib or two taken out, shit, I don't know.
956
01:05:26,050 --> 01:05:27,350
They look good though .
957
01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:35,670
-I used to be a very depressed person.
958
01:05:35,750 --> 01:05:36,880
I used to cut myself.
959
01:05:37,540 --> 01:05:39,500
I used to do all types of crazy things.
960
01:05:39,630 --> 01:05:43,200
And so, instead of harming myself, I'll go get a tattoo
961
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,760
if I really feel down.
962
01:05:47,070 --> 01:05:50,810
And then the tattoo on my neck, it was on my 13th birthday.
963
01:05:50,940 --> 01:05:54,290
I went to the hood, did it with a homemade tattoo gun.
964
01:05:54,420 --> 01:05:56,340
It is my Zodiac sign.
965
01:05:56,470 --> 01:05:58,780
No, it does not look like what it's supposed to look like.
966
01:06:09,530 --> 01:06:12,620
-You can be your own biggest critic, honestly.
967
01:06:14,310 --> 01:06:17,010
Sometimes I'm like, yes, I'm that bitch.
968
01:06:17,140 --> 01:06:18,620
I look bomb, I look good.
969
01:06:21,450 --> 01:06:24,190
My body really fluctuates a lot.
970
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,590
You're going to be thicker, you're going to be skinnier,
971
01:06:26,670 --> 01:06:28,810
you're going to be stronger, you're going to be weaker.
972
01:06:28,940 --> 01:06:31,240
All you can do when your body fluctuates
973
01:06:31,370 --> 01:06:34,640
is just love it in every form it's in.
974
01:06:56,660 --> 01:06:58,620
Another way that I love to express myself
975
01:06:58,750 --> 01:07:01,060
is through my tattoos and body mods.
976
01:07:02,670 --> 01:07:04,360
I started getting tattoos when I was younger.
977
01:07:04,490 --> 01:07:05,760
My parents bought me my first one
978
01:07:05,890 --> 01:07:07,240
when I was 16 for my birthday.
979
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:11,540
Just like the walls of my house,
980
01:07:12,110 --> 01:07:13,590
I loved how I could take something the way
981
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:16,980
that I see the world and put it just right up on my body.
982
01:07:18,330 --> 01:07:19,380
It's another way for me
983
01:07:20,030 --> 01:07:22,770
to show what I'm about through piercing.
984
01:07:22,900 --> 01:07:24,510
I do have my tongue split.
985
01:07:32,830 --> 01:07:34,650
-Hi Ryan.
986
01:07:34,780 --> 01:07:37,790
-I started playing hockey
987
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:40,830
when I was about five years old.
988
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:44,580
I liked being aggressive and pushing boys around.
989
01:07:44,710 --> 01:07:46,230
It made me feel very powerful.
990
01:07:53,410 --> 01:07:54,720
-Whoa, that was a shot.
991
01:07:56,370 --> 01:07:58,200
-I really prioritize playtime.
992
01:07:58,330 --> 01:08:01,720
I think playing just for the sake of play
993
01:08:01,860 --> 01:08:04,210
is the best thing I can do for my mental health.
994
01:08:04,290 --> 01:08:09,600
And so, being able to play hockey and get a workout in,
995
01:08:10,470 --> 01:08:11,520
it's fantastic and it's so fun.
996
01:08:18,390 --> 01:08:20,090
-When I light my sage,
997
01:08:20,220 --> 01:08:22,660
It's the first thing that I do in the morning.
998
01:08:22,790 --> 01:08:27,580
It gets rid of all the bad energies that's in the house.
999
01:08:35,060 --> 01:08:39,280
I light my candles for peace and for protection.
1000
01:08:39,410 --> 01:08:43,110
It just helps me set the tone for my day.
1001
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:45,510
If I don't do it, the whole day is out of whack.
1002
01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:57,870
-Anytime I can take a day off, get out the house,
1003
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:01,610
be in the desert, hiking, fuck yeah, bring it on.
1004
01:09:03,310 --> 01:09:08,230
I try to keep a balance of being September
1005
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:11,930
and being who I am at home.
1006
01:09:12,060 --> 01:09:13,970
And when you live in a city like this
1007
01:09:14,100 --> 01:09:15,620
that never fucking sleeps,
1008
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:18,850
it is so hard to keep that balance.
1009
01:09:28,070 --> 01:09:29,380
-All right, can you hear me?
1010
01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:30,770
-Yes. -All right, cool.
1011
01:09:31,510 --> 01:09:32,160
We're gonna run it from the top, okay?
1012
01:09:33,210 --> 01:09:34,080
-Okay. -You ready?
1013
01:09:34,210 --> 01:09:35,860
-Mm-hmm.
1014
01:09:36,430 --> 01:09:40,780
Making music has been more of an eye opening experience
1015
01:09:42,130 --> 01:09:43,780
when I'm sober.
1016
01:10:02,670 --> 01:10:04,930
I am so much more clear headed.
1017
01:10:05,070 --> 01:10:07,200
I feel so much more inspired.
1018
01:10:07,330 --> 01:10:09,810
My whole entire life I was saying I've wrote poems,
1019
01:10:09,940 --> 01:10:13,470
and my vision is becoming a reality,
1020
01:10:13,550 --> 01:10:17,030
because now I can clearly see that vision.
1021
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:22,080
I'm not drunk, I'm not high.
1022
01:10:22,170 --> 01:10:23,560
He'll send me beats and I'll go through them,
1023
01:10:23,690 --> 01:10:26,090
choose ones that I feel most inspired by.
1024
01:10:26,220 --> 01:10:28,000
And then, I will just start writing from there.
1025
01:10:28,130 --> 01:10:30,660
Like this song right here, I love this beat.
1026
01:10:30,790 --> 01:10:33,090
I started writing to it the other day
1027
01:10:33,220 --> 01:10:36,270
and I just instantly just started going at it.
1028
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:38,360
And then now to finish the song,
1029
01:10:38,490 --> 01:10:40,800
I'm finding some interesting words
1030
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:43,630
to use just to make it music.
1031
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:46,020
If I'm having a creative block,
1032
01:10:46,150 --> 01:10:48,760
I'll open up the dictionary, just randomly.
1033
01:10:48,890 --> 01:10:50,020
I'll find one of the words,
1034
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,240
and then I'll use that to start a verse with,
1035
01:10:52,370 --> 01:10:55,680
I'll go to Google and I'll try to other meanings
1036
01:10:55,810 --> 01:10:57,340
or other words that match with that.
1037
01:10:57,470 --> 01:10:59,900
I'll go to the thesaurus, flip through that,
1038
01:11:00,030 --> 01:11:02,910
see if I can find something more creative in there.
1039
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:06,080
And I just try to fact check what I'm writing, just in case.
1040
01:11:06,210 --> 01:11:08,690
You never know if someone's gonna fact check you.
1041
01:11:08,820 --> 01:11:10,480
So, I fact check myself first.
1042
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:20,230
-That was a great take.
1043
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,530
-Okay yeah.
1044
01:11:28,630 --> 01:11:30,720
-I changed my degree to computational mathematics.
1045
01:11:30,850 --> 01:11:32,020
Not because I was good at math,
1046
01:11:32,590 --> 01:11:34,630
but because it was interesting to me,
1047
01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:37,940
and I really like reading math books,
1048
01:11:38,070 --> 01:11:40,550
books about math in terms of the universe.
1049
01:11:40,680 --> 01:11:42,340
And so, I don't like reading fiction,
1050
01:11:42,420 --> 01:11:44,950
I don't like reading stories about stuff.
1051
01:11:47,430 --> 01:11:50,080
-My love of reading, it followed all the way
1052
01:11:50,210 --> 01:11:52,690
into adulthood, to say the least.
1053
01:11:52,830 --> 01:11:54,310
I read every day.
1054
01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:56,740
If I am not physically reading a book,
1055
01:11:56,870 --> 01:12:00,350
I'm listening to a book on Audible.
1056
01:12:00,490 --> 01:12:04,750
I've currently just finished reading "The Metamorphosis".
1057
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:07,970
I've read that book for probably the fourth time.
1058
01:12:11,540 --> 01:12:13,890
-I learned how to code Python in college.
1059
01:12:14,020 --> 01:12:18,420
And I've been teaching myself web design out of college,
1060
01:12:19,720 --> 01:12:22,380
JavaScript, HTML with CSS.
1061
01:12:22,510 --> 01:12:24,770
It just feels like another way to use my skills
1062
01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:28,340
and kind of abstract them and apply them to new things.
1063
01:12:28,470 --> 01:12:32,430
Right now, I'm working on a website, just my website.
1064
01:12:33,650 --> 01:12:36,390
It's been really fun to make just from scratch.
1065
01:12:45,180 --> 01:12:49,320
Chess is a really a mathematical, logical game.
1066
01:12:49,450 --> 01:12:54,410
And it's funny, I've actually started playing chess
1067
01:12:56,060 --> 01:12:58,150
with people from OnlyFans.
1068
01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:01,200
And if they lose, they have to pay me.
1069
01:13:01,330 --> 01:13:04,640
And if I lose, I send them a nude.
1070
01:13:04,770 --> 01:13:09,210
And I haven't lost yet.
1071
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:14,430
-I used to watch "Being Mary Jane" a lot.
1072
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:18,650
And I kinda took from her when she would write her quotes
1073
01:13:18,780 --> 01:13:22,960
on a sticky note and place them on her room window.
1074
01:13:23,090 --> 01:13:25,180
Whenever I'm having a rough day
1075
01:13:25,310 --> 01:13:27,270
or even if I'm not having a rough day
1076
01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:29,700
and I just walk past and I stop,
1077
01:13:29,790 --> 01:13:32,450
and it's normally the first one that I look at
1078
01:13:32,580 --> 01:13:36,540
that has the most relevance to me for that time.
1079
01:13:36,670 --> 01:13:40,370
And it's just another way of humbling me
1080
01:13:40,450 --> 01:13:45,200
and just another comfort, coping mechanism for my anxiety.
1081
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:53,690
-My favorite thing to do on my time off
1082
01:13:53,770 --> 01:13:55,160
is absolutely nothing.
1083
01:13:55,300 --> 01:13:58,080
The club itself is the party.
1084
01:13:58,170 --> 01:14:00,560
I need to recuperate from the night before.
1085
01:14:00,690 --> 01:14:04,570
So a lot of times, I prefer to just relax,
1086
01:14:04,650 --> 01:14:07,660
smoke some weed, allow my body to recuperate,
1087
01:14:07,740 --> 01:14:10,700
not really force it to do so much.
1088
01:14:10,830 --> 01:14:15,840
-Just sleep, that's the best thing is sleep.
1089
01:14:23,580 --> 01:14:27,980
Just being here with my daughter, ultimately being a mom,
1090
01:14:28,110 --> 01:14:30,770
it's everything that I live for.
1091
01:14:32,160 --> 01:14:35,600
I got her a puppy almost two years ago now,
1092
01:14:35,730 --> 01:14:38,080
and her name is Sugar.
1093
01:14:39,340 --> 01:14:41,730
She has a very big personality for such a little dog.
1094
01:14:41,860 --> 01:14:43,650
She thinks she's a pit bull.
1095
01:14:43,780 --> 01:14:46,000
I think Sugar helped my daughter a lot
1096
01:14:46,130 --> 01:14:48,130
with not feeling alone.
1097
01:14:49,780 --> 01:14:53,530
-My little babies, this right here is Arya.
1098
01:14:55,570 --> 01:14:58,310
I have three cats altogether.
1099
01:14:58,450 --> 01:15:01,320
I also have a snake and a gecko,
1100
01:15:02,620 --> 01:15:04,450
my little scaly babies .
1101
01:15:05,630 --> 01:15:07,850
They definitely have helped me to stay grounded
1102
01:15:07,980 --> 01:15:12,110
and just kind of have something nice, and soft,
1103
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:16,160
and so sweet to come home and cuddle up to.
1104
01:15:24,780 --> 01:15:25,520
-Denali .
1105
01:15:31,910 --> 01:15:35,130
Oh, well.
1106
01:15:35,260 --> 01:15:37,570
Huskies are really human like.
1107
01:15:37,660 --> 01:15:40,970
They are almost like monkey status.
1108
01:15:41,100 --> 01:15:43,230
Denali played a huge role
1109
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:45,800
with the pandemic and my support system,
1110
01:15:45,930 --> 01:15:48,630
because she's so human like,
1111
01:15:48,710 --> 01:15:52,190
that I almost felt like she heard me and she understood me.
1112
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:57,460
I don't think I chose Denali, I think Denali chose me.
1113
01:16:01,380 --> 01:16:03,420
-So, I live with two boys .
1114
01:16:04,340 --> 01:16:07,210
Where are they at, boys ?
1115
01:16:07,300 --> 01:16:09,650
They're brothers, I love them so much.
1116
01:16:09,730 --> 01:16:11,000
They bring me a lot of company,
1117
01:16:11,130 --> 01:16:12,260
they bring me a lot of joy,
1118
01:16:12,870 --> 01:16:14,390
and it's really nice having them around,
1119
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:16,480
even though they fuck everything up .
1120
01:16:16,610 --> 01:16:19,220
You're so dirty, I feel so bad.
1121
01:16:27,010 --> 01:16:28,970
-Blake, Blake, Blake,
1122
01:16:29,100 --> 01:16:33,930
Blake, Blakey, he is my puppy, he's six months.
1123
01:16:35,410 --> 01:16:38,020
Just looking at him and how happy he is,
1124
01:16:38,110 --> 01:16:41,240
it really makes my heart smile.
1125
01:16:51,820 --> 01:16:56,690
-Bailey, shake, shake, nice to meet you.
1126
01:16:56,820 --> 01:16:58,700
We had horses when I was younger.
1127
01:16:58,830 --> 01:17:01,130
And the connection that I've had with Bailey
1128
01:17:01,260 --> 01:17:04,570
has been so special.
1129
01:17:04,700 --> 01:17:05,570
Good girl.
1130
01:17:06,750 --> 01:17:09,270
We've kind of grown together.
1131
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:11,190
We were both kids when I first got her
1132
01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:14,930
and we were both teenagers at the same time.
1133
01:17:15,060 --> 01:17:18,720
And we both have angsty, bitchy personalities.
1134
01:17:21,590 --> 01:17:22,810
We just grew up together.
1135
01:17:23,370 --> 01:17:26,200
And so we would be running down the beach,
1136
01:17:26,290 --> 01:17:29,420
bare back in bikinis, and we would go in the water,
1137
01:17:29,550 --> 01:17:31,380
and we would go swimming afterwards.
1138
01:17:31,510 --> 01:17:34,250
And she was enjoying every single minute of it.
1139
01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:45,130
Zoey.
1140
01:18:01,060 --> 01:18:03,330
-I've never had stability growing up.
1141
01:18:05,020 --> 01:18:06,760
-So, we already talked about this prior
1142
01:18:06,890 --> 01:18:09,720
to coming here, but that's three bedrooms, two baths.
1143
01:18:09,850 --> 01:18:13,640
All right, so come on in, we have an open floor plan,
1144
01:18:13,770 --> 01:18:15,900
and then there is a next gen suite.
1145
01:18:16,030 --> 01:18:18,080
-It doesn't even look that big from outside.
1146
01:18:18,210 --> 01:18:20,300
-Yeah, I know, it's kind of a longer one.
1147
01:18:20,430 --> 01:18:21,650
I used to be in the industry,
1148
01:18:22,390 --> 01:18:24,000
I used to be a cocktail waitress at .
1149
01:18:24,090 --> 01:18:27,480
And so I know that your money is, it comes on the track,
1150
01:18:27,610 --> 01:18:29,610
it comes fast and it's in the bank.
1151
01:18:30,830 --> 01:18:33,400
So, what they can do is statements based loans.
1152
01:18:33,530 --> 01:18:35,530
So they're able to look at your bank statements
1153
01:18:35,660 --> 01:18:39,620
and determine what you make every day or monthly.
1154
01:18:40,620 --> 01:18:42,930
-I'm just trying to live my dream.
1155
01:18:43,060 --> 01:18:46,670
I'm trying to raise the best human that I possibly can
1156
01:18:46,800 --> 01:18:49,150
and make sure that my brothers and sisters
1157
01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:50,980
have somebody to look up to.
1158
01:18:53,200 --> 01:18:55,860
I'm just trying to do what I believe everybody
1159
01:18:55,940 --> 01:19:00,080
should be doing, and that's just living my best life.
1160
01:19:00,170 --> 01:19:05,080
I just want to live the rest of my life to the fullest
1161
01:19:06,740 --> 01:19:08,780
and embrace all my flaws, and all my struggles,
1162
01:19:08,910 --> 01:19:12,220
and everything that I went through because that's who I am.
1163
01:19:15,270 --> 01:19:17,620
-Everything was a choice for me.
1164
01:19:17,750 --> 01:19:22,670
It wasn't forced upon me and I happen to like being sexy,
1165
01:19:23,540 --> 01:19:25,020
and that's a choice.
1166
01:19:25,150 --> 01:19:27,980
So, not every girl wants to be a teacher.
1167
01:19:28,110 --> 01:19:31,590
Some women like to fucking take their clothes off
1168
01:19:31,720 --> 01:19:33,630
and make money, it's okay .
1169
01:19:37,330 --> 01:19:39,640
-I really enjoy dancing.
1170
01:19:39,730 --> 01:19:43,250
I really enjoy being able to turn someone on so much.
1171
01:19:43,380 --> 01:19:47,390
And at the same time, I'm not into it at all.
1172
01:19:49,390 --> 01:19:52,650
Me, myself, I'm queer, I'm pretty asexual.
1173
01:19:52,780 --> 01:19:56,400
The intimacy that I have with my friends is enough for me.
1174
01:19:56,530 --> 01:19:58,790
I don't need romantic relationships.
1175
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:03,320
I don't need sex in my life to be a complete person.
1176
01:20:03,450 --> 01:20:05,320
It's not something that I crave.
1177
01:20:05,450 --> 01:20:08,190
And so, I don't feel the sexual attraction
1178
01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:10,240
that they're feeling regardless.
1179
01:20:10,370 --> 01:20:12,630
And so, it keeps me focused.
1180
01:20:12,760 --> 01:20:14,280
And at the same time, it's kind of ironic.
1181
01:20:14,410 --> 01:20:15,410
It's kind of funny.
1182
01:20:18,900 --> 01:20:22,810
There's so many stigmas around dancing
1183
01:20:22,940 --> 01:20:27,560
and around being slutty that are hard to conceptualize
1184
01:20:28,910 --> 01:20:31,130
when you don't have sex, I guess.
1185
01:20:34,560 --> 01:20:37,130
-It's the world looks down on us like crazy.
1186
01:20:37,260 --> 01:20:41,440
We need just more places where we
1187
01:20:41,570 --> 01:20:43,830
could be ourselves unapologetically
1188
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:47,930
and just be able to strive and be successful.
1189
01:20:49,190 --> 01:20:51,840
-Don't really match my house though, gaso, gaso.
1190
01:20:51,970 --> 01:20:53,930
-Thank you
1191
01:20:54,060 --> 01:20:56,850
so much, congratulations on your new place.
1192
01:20:56,980 --> 01:20:58,500
-Thank you, I appreciate it.
1193
01:21:00,420 --> 01:21:03,850
What it's like having my first place is amazing.
1194
01:21:03,980 --> 01:21:05,330
I feel so much more stable.
1195
01:21:05,420 --> 01:21:07,250
I feel so much more happy.
1196
01:21:07,340 --> 01:21:09,640
I feel so much more responsible.
1197
01:21:16,170 --> 01:21:18,870
I have only started doing this, it's been what,
1198
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:22,790
two, three months in the process of changing my diet,
1199
01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:27,570
changing my life, being sober, being clear headed,
1200
01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:29,140
and not partying.
1201
01:21:30,790 --> 01:21:32,450
It's all a work in progress.
1202
01:21:41,110 --> 01:21:44,370
-I've never really been the type to think too far
1203
01:21:44,500 --> 01:21:46,590
into the future.
1204
01:21:46,720 --> 01:21:50,070
I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow.
1205
01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:53,950
So, I just kinda take it day by day.
1206
01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:56,730
And I really try to live in the moment.
1207
01:21:58,470 --> 01:22:03,390
Always remember to keep yourself first.
1208
01:22:05,050 --> 01:22:06,960
Decision-making isn't easy, but it's necessary.
1209
01:22:07,090 --> 01:22:10,440
So, always try to make the best decision for you.
1210
01:22:14,620 --> 01:22:16,970
-So one thing about stripping,
1211
01:22:17,100 --> 01:22:19,410
I always say it has a shelf life.
1212
01:22:19,490 --> 01:22:21,500
Milk has an expiration date.
1213
01:22:21,630 --> 01:22:23,980
You gotta get out while you're still good,
1214
01:22:24,060 --> 01:22:24,940
before you expire.
1215
01:22:26,500 --> 01:22:30,290
You don't wanna be the girl that they threw you out.
1216
01:22:30,420 --> 01:22:33,810
You definitely wanna be the girl that said,
1217
01:22:33,940 --> 01:22:36,900
okay, I'm done, you're welcome .
1218
01:22:50,530 --> 01:22:52,010
-It's really cool to see
1219
01:22:52,140 --> 01:22:55,050
that some of the life is coming back into Vegas.
1220
01:22:55,140 --> 01:22:57,660
Some of the casinos are open.
1221
01:22:57,790 --> 01:22:59,010
Clubs are opening up.
1222
01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:00,490
People are out on the streets,
1223
01:23:00,580 --> 01:23:02,450
the streets aren't empty anymore.
1224
01:23:02,580 --> 01:23:05,710
There is a sense of hope that this city is resilient
1225
01:23:05,850 --> 01:23:09,150
and strong and that things will come back.
1226
01:23:09,280 --> 01:23:12,070
Vegas will be Vegas again.
1227
01:23:13,290 --> 01:23:17,340
It'll be full of people, packed clubs, all of that.
1228
01:23:17,470 --> 01:23:21,990
And a pandemic that's put the world to its knees
1229
01:23:23,380 --> 01:23:27,040
still can't get Vegas down.
95956
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