All language subtitles for Only.Murders.in.the.Building.S03E09.WEB.x264-TG.Hi

[knocking]

Ben? Everyone gets
opening night jitters!

♪

- I'm good.
- My review was going to be a pan.

This one... just didn't sing.

NYPD, motherfuckers!

The stalker, he didn't do it!

The killer is
someone in this room.

We've got to get in
on those interviews.

- [whirring, grinding]
- The spooky sound from opening night.

Someone was in here
shredding something.

We need to reassemble these.
There might be a clue.

OLIVER: We have the
interrogations on tape.

CHARLES: We
recorded everything.

OLIVER: You don't owe
me any explanation.

Th-The book is a little odd.

MABEL: These aren't photos of
Ben. They're photos of Dickie.

When he was gone for those
brief moments, I felt free.

And then he was back.

DICKIE: I couldn't
take it anymore.

DONNA: You spend your whole
life looking out for your child,

and you'll do anything to
make sure they're okay.

♪

Wait! I did it. I killed Ben.

No, you can't do this! Leave
her alone! [handcuffs clicking]

[Holter monitor
beeping] Oh, my God...

MABEL: Oliver? What's
going on? Oliver! [grunts]

CHARLES: Call somebody!
Get some help!

♪ Soft piano playing ♪

MABEL: When I was 10,

my future looked so clear to me.

Married to Josh Hartnett

with two kids, driving
a Honda Odyssey.

Not a bad life.

Got another one coming. Push.

Wait, what's going on?
There's been a mistake.

I came here to see one of my
friends. He had a heart attack.

Don't worry. You did
great with the first two.

Just keep pushing.
You're having triplets.

No, I'm... Triplets?

- [mic feedback]
- And now, baby three!

MABEL: But here's the thing
about childhood fantasies.

They almost never come true.

DOCTOR: Congratulations.

It's a podcast.

- Wah! [sucking]
- Mama!

- Wah! Wah!
- Mabel... Mabel.

- Mabel! Mabel!
- Wah!

OLIVER: Mabel! [EKG beeping]

The doctor said I
can finally go home.

- What? No, no, no, no, no.
- Yeah.

The man had a full-on
heart attack five days ago.

You rush him in here,

stick in a stent to prop
up his creaky artery.

- Nobody said creaky.
- Now, you're just gonna go

and send him off into the world?

OLIVER: Mabel, I
need to get back.

My show opens in two days,

and my star is about to
be charged with murder.

Doctor, maybe you should just
run a few more tests to be sure?

His body responded
very well to the stent.

Although I'm sure it was
quite a scare for all of you.

[scoffs] I wasn't scared.

Oh, is that so?

You know, I was just pretending to be
unconscious when I heard you wailing,

"I can't let him go!

Come back to me, you
sweet son of a bitch!"

I was doing a performance
for the nurses.

They're big fans of
mine. What am I gonna do?

Not be Charles-Haden Savage?

Oh, admit it. You're
obsessed with me.

Can't believe I
actually missed this.

♪

Come on, Putnam.
We've got work to do.

Yes, yes, yes.
CHARLES: Let's go.

MABEL: For starters,

if Loretta made up her
confession to protect her son,

don't we need to
prove that her son

is Ben's real killer
to get her out?

Loretta's been in
jail a few days now.

I wonder if she's shaved her
head and gotten all jacked.

I can't let her take the fall for
this. She's the love of my life.

Love? I thought you
were just hooking up.

Oh, we hooked up.

We hooked up big time.

We hooked up and down and
every which direction.

- You name a way, we did a hook.
- Okay, alright, thank you. Enough. Okay.

I promise we will
get her home to you.

No matter how many face
tattoos she has now.

Charles, did you learn anything

from those police interrogations
we so skillfully recorded?

Actually, we haven't
watched them yet.

We were sitting by your
bedside this whole time.

Mabel wanted to wait so
you could be a part of it.

Little softy.

- Aw!
- No! I...

I didn't... It wasn't
like I was like,

"Let's hold hands and watch it
together." It was just like...

Shut up.

[Oliver chuckles] Okay,
we're focusing on Dickie.

Loretta clearly thinks
that he's guilty.

That's why she confessed
to protect him.

Ben was poisoned,

and then later pushed
down the elevator shaft.

But, we don't know whose
hanky he was holding onto

when he died. I mean,
it could be Dickie's.

We know that someone wrote "fucking
pig" in lipstick on his mirror,

and we have footage of
him in a heated moment

talking to an unseen person,

possibly a lover.

C-Can we just take a beat to
appreciate how magical this is?

The three of us, reunited at
last, investigating as one.

Mabel, you stayed
faithful to the podcast.

You should take the lead.

Just... the besties are back.

Ooh! That should be
our opening line!

You just said Mabel
should take the lead.

Can't I make a suggestion?

I narrowly escaped death, and
now you won't let me live?

Oh, wah, wah.

- Wah, wah!
- Wah, wah!

Oh, this is fucking weird.

Okay, okay. The
besties are back.

[recorder beeps]

The besties are back.

It may take two to tango,

but it takes three
to solve the murder

of an ill-fated movie star.

Welcome to a
brand-new episode of

- Only Murders in the Building.
- Perfection.

♪ Lively theme song playing ♪

♪ vocalizing ♪

♪

Let's just question Dickie without
spilling that Loretta's his mother.

- It's not our place to tell him.
- Right.

[door opens]

Oh!

This one's for you.

Why do you still have
packages coming here?

Our geriatric doorman obviously
forgot I'm back from the hospital.

Lester's six months
younger than you.

"Get well soon and find
me a new leading lady.

Smooches, Donna."

We are not gonna need
a new leading lady.

Oh, my God.

♪

Joy's wedding dress.

She had her mom send the
one she was married in,

so Joy could have it altered
for when she and I were...

- I'll take this.
- Yeah.

Joy's mom is still alive?

Oh, yeah. Her dad, too. In fact,

he was gonna walk her down the
aisle holding her childhood dog.

We ready to go? Uh,
clock's ticking.

OLIVER: Okay. [sighs]

So, Loretta, huh?

I did not see that
coming. OLIVER: Yeah.

Yeah. Us neither.

Hey, you wanna hear something
funny? For a minute,

we thought you did it.

[awkward laughter]

You did? Wh-Why?

Ah, it's so dumb. We, um,

we just know he stole CoBro
from you. OLIVER: Uh-huh.

Oh.

Shit. Really?

Okay. Yeah, I was resentful.

Yeah, and you told me
you cover up things,

so I kinda figured you
covered up his blood work

to hide the poison
in his system.

I did do that.

I mean, I didn't know he
was poisoned when I did it.

I just knew there was other stuff in
there he wouldn't want getting out.

Wait, you believe me, right?

Oh, of course. Yes.

Out of curiosity,

where were you when Ben
was pushed to his death?

Because you weren't
pushing him, obviously.

E-Everyone knows that.
But, uh, unless...

I left your party early.

I was freaked the fuck out
that Ben came back to life

and I had to get outta there.

So, I...

[sighs] I got wasted,
put on Ben's CoBro suit,

and went looking for
drugs and whores.

- Well, who wouldn't?
- Wow.

Why should he have all the fun?

That's what Ben was into?

Every Thursday, he'd
disappear for hours.

And when I asked about it, he'd
say, "Snitches get stitches."

So, I tracked his phone
to a place on Broadway

between 35th and 36th,

where he'd go to...

do sex with his "five whores,"

as he so affectionately
called them.

He even saved opening
night seats for them.

Uh, Trixie, Marigold,
Emerald, Dot, and Mei Mei.

Here. [sighs]

♪

I was outside,
screaming for them

to bring me the five whores.

I slept there all night.

A dog peed on me.

I hope it was a dog.

This is proof you weren't at
the Arconia when Ben was pushed.

The cops got that image
from a security camera

after I told them where I was,

but they didn't really
buy it as an alibi,

since you can't
fully see my face.

I guess I should just be
grateful there isn't audio.

[sighs]

I just can't believe
Loretta did it.

Well, for what it's worth, w-we
don't think she really did do it.

But why else would she confess?

- No idea.
- Oh, yeah, theater folk, cuckoo!

[forced laugh]

Wait a minute.

If you guys think the
killer's still out there,

I should probably
call my lawyer.

CHARLES: Hm. [phone
stops recording]

Guys, if he's telling the truth,

he couldn't have pushed Ben.

That means that Loretta gave herself
up for someone who didn't even do it.

If we can find the
real killer in time,

maybe we can convince Loretta
to take back her confession.

Charles, her arraignment
is at 5:00 p.m.

We need to figure out what Ben
was doing and who he was seeing

in the last few days
leading up to his death.

I say we start at
Broadway and 35th.

Except we can't just walk into
a brothel without a reservation.

♪

I know what we need.

[distant siren] Nobody
stops a guy with a ladder!

- It gets you in anywhere.
- [sighs] So the ladder's the new turkey.

It might work better if
the guy carrying the ladder

wasn't also wearing
orthopedic shoes

- and dressed like a leprechaun.
- Hm.

Hey, hey, this is it.

Snitches Get Stitches?

- It's a fabric shop.
- No, no, no, no, no. It's a front.

Brothels always use puns to
name their fake businesses.

I learned that by wandering
in the back of a cabinet shop

called All By My Shelf.

Follow my lead! Let
the ladder do the work.

Wait a second! I
have a better way in.

No one says no to a crying man.

I did a scene in
Brazzos, episode 315.

The Foreign Exchange
Killer. It was a good one.

And I cried a single
solitary tear.

And that week, our fan
mail went sky high.

Mostly from men.
You wanna know why?

You helped them access
their inner feelings.

Yes.

But just gimme a
go. Gimme the stage.

No, no, no, no.

Me first. [struggling]
CHARLES: Stop it!

Just here to change
a light bulb!

No, you can't go back there.

- [door shuts]
- Of course not, dude.

We all know what's going
on in the back room.

Wink, wink.

But did you see my ladder?

[phony crying]

I'm sorry. Is my
crying upsetting you?

You're not crying.

Give it a minute.

[wheezing]

[grunting, gasps]

This guy's made of stone.

Do you have any menthol
for under the eyes?

Yeah, I have a
bucket of menthol.

[grunting, straining]

Do you need a restroom?
We have one in the back.

- Oh! Thank you so much. Get in there.
- Thanks.

OLIVER: Ooh!

[sewing machines whirring]

You're the five whores?

[machines stop]

MABEL: Please ignore him!

I'm sorry. We were just
looking for a group of women

who might have
known Ben Glenroy,

- but we'll just get out of the way.
- Sorry.

Benny!

Oh, yes! We knew him!

Our sewing circle met
here every Thursday.

Benny said sewing kept him off

all those dangerous
street drugs.

We miss him terribly.

When was the last
time you saw him?

Oh, um,

his big opening night
of Death Rattle.

♪

[whirring] We'd stayed up
all night helping him sew

these lovely hankies
for his cast and crew

while running lines.

"Everyone else in that
lighthouse is dead, Nanny.

So the killer is either
you, me, or the baby."

SEAMSTRESSES: "I wouldn't
bet on that baby, detective."

He wanted to make
something special for them.

Something personal.

He said he treated a lot of them

like a steaming
pile of cow manure.

We finished those
hankies just in time,

and off Benny went
to the theater.

Thank you. Thank you.

I'm gonna see you all
at the theater, ladies.

- We're rooting for you. Bye.
- Love you. [kissing]

TRIXIE: But then...

Mei Mei, my phone.

BEN [on phone]: Uh, hey!

It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny.

Um...

A-Are you guys
coming to the show?

I really need you t-to be here.

Uh, I've just never
felt... so alone.

[knocking on door]
OLIVER [on phone]: Ben?

Everyone gets opening night
jitters! I can talk you through it.

That's me just before curtain.

BEN [on phone]: I-I gotta
go. Please get here soon.

I'm surrounded by people I can't
trust. They're all out to get me.

TRIXIE: It's so hard
to hear him like that.

He was so excited for
us to see the show.

[sighs]

- Alright. Okay. Okay.
- Thank you.

- Sorry.
- Thank you. Sorry. Thank you so much.

Oh, this...

It's a gift for you.
It's a-a ladder.

Oh, thank you!

Sorry for calling you whores.

Oh, that's alright.

I used to be one.

Okay. That's...
interesting. Bye.

MABEL: So what happened from the
time Ben arrived at the theater,

on top of the world, to
leaving a distressed voicemail

30 minutes later? I mean,

who did he think
was out to get him?

I already know how we can
find out. The interrogations.

Williams questioned everyone who
crossed paths with Ben that night,

and we can use
those interrogations

to make a timeline
of that 30 minutes!

Ah! I knew you were due for a good idea
since your last one six months ago.

- Huh?
- When you proposed

we go halfsies on a New
Yorker digital subscription.

- That was your idea.
- Oh, good.

You owe me $32, and I'm
keeping the free tote.

Shh, guys.

KT's up first.

KT [on video]: All actors must be at the
theater for what we call "half hour."

Boots on the ground 30
minutes before curtain.

Not 28, not 29, 30.

♪

Ben, of course, was late.

[bags rustling]

[sighs]

Check it! I have
gifts for everyone.

Where the fuck have you
been? Get into costume!

Go!

KT sure knows how
to kill a mood.

Someone should really talk
to her about her tone.

- Oh, the producer's son is up next.
- Oh, Cliff.

I saw Ben right after
KT yelled at him.

Not a fan of her tone.

Schmackary's? They're so good.

Mom ordered them special.

Check out the
rattles. Can you even?

You know what, get those away from
me. I'm fasting till after the show.

Wait! No.

Let me just smell 'em.

[deep sniff] Oh, g...

I said get them away from me!

Hey, listen. I need you to check
on my five guests for tonight.

Emerald, Trixie, Marigold,
Dot, and Mei Mei.

The five whores.

Sorry. I... That's how I
learned them in my brain.

Charles, can you
scooch a little?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

So that's new. Ben was
fasting before the show.

Let's keep going. [click]

DICKIE [on computer]: I'll
admit, I was furious with Ben.

I mean, who shows up late
to his opening night?

It was always something
with him, which is why...

[sighs] Loretta was
encouraging me to leave him.

♪

I just... [sighs]

I just think you deserve
so much better, you know?

Look at your arm. Aw...

These are stress hives.

I call 'em "Benny bites."

[Loretta groans]

What about that cortisone
cream I gave you?

Did you use that?
DICKIE: I did.

How did we not get
that she's his mother?

I feel she's about
to give him a bottle.

Doesn't Loretta look pretty?

And did you make that
list of bullet points

to say when you quit?

That always helps
me, I tell you.

Sure. Yeah.

Uh-oh, incoming.

- Hey!
- You losers passing notes?

Okay, I'm gonna go warm up.

See you at fight call.

Give it! [laughs]

Wait, what is this?

Are you quitting?

I was gonna wait
till after the show.

Sh-She put you up to this.

'Cause you know fucking
Loretta, she's been...

she's been driving a wedge
between us from day one.

It's not Loretta! It's you!

I've spent my entire life
catering to the great Ben Glenroy!

Who we all know isn't exactly
a delight to be around!

See bullet point four!

Ju...

You know what? Fine.
Alright, fine. Go.

Fuck if I care!

You're a lousy manager anyway.

And you know what? And you're
an even lousier brother.

I know you think you created it,

but I am CoBro!

Actually, no. You know what?

The way you just betrayed me?

I'm NoBro.

Because I don't have
a brother anymore.

♪

OLIVER: Loretta was encouraging
Dickie to leave Ben?

Messy, messy.
Who's next? [click]

After Ben arrived, I went to KT's
office to get the ritual broom.

The door was locked,

which I thought was odd.

[rattling knob]

That's odd.

[shredder whirring, grinding]

♪

I'll do a progress
check on the shredder.

And so, it was the brilliant
Howard Francis Morris

who cracked the case

[wind blowing] by...
Oh, fuckity fuck!

[text notification chimes]

Howard says he needs more time.

If I'm not mistaken,

next up is Ben and Loretta's
fight call rehearsal.

Oh, she told me about
this on our date. [click]

Well, Ben accused me of trying
to steal Dickie from him.

And this was just moments

after he learned his
brother was quitting.

[Ben panting]

♪

- You're late.
- Whatever. Let's just do this.

That's enough, Detective.

I'm not gonna let
you take that baby.

You are just a nanny.

You can't keep him.
You're not the mother.

He needs me to be his
mother now. [grunts]

It's my job to protect him as
if he were born of my own flesh!

Wow, this dialogue
really lines up.

What are you... [gasps]

Stay out of our lives!

- What?
- I mean it!

Stay the fuck away from my
brother. [Loretta yelps]

♪

LORETTA: He's been
nothing but loyal to you!

All you do is treat
him like shit!

You weaseled your way
into this production.

No! Let me go, you fucking
pig. CHARLES: Hey, look.

There's me.

God, I'm pale.

What the hell's going on?

Is that what I sound like?

He attacked me!

BEN: What? No, I didn't.
We were rehearsing.

- Stay out of it, fuck bag.
- Hey! [grunts]

That's...

My face!

I still can't
believe you hit him.

Well, why don't you add "for
good reason" to the board?

Or "Charles punches Ben
and he had it coming"?

Anyway, this is where Joy comes
in to touch up the bruise,

- which wasn't that bad anyway.
- Yeah, easy, Cassius.

Joy leaves her lipstick behind
in Ben's dressing room, and...

who's the next
person to see him?

♪

[click] DONNA [on computer]:
I did see Ben, yes.

It was right after I gave
Cliff a little pep talk.

[laughs]

My tummy is in knots.

Oh, it's almost showtime.

I've put everything into this
play. I need it to be a hit.

Oh, it will be. I won't
let you fail, sweetie.

Here's a kiss from Mommy.
[footsteps approaching]

BEN: Hey!

Wh-Where are my guests? I
don't see them in their seats.

Yeah, I think
traffic's pretty bad.

Something's happening at
the UN. I don't know what.

You know, I'm boycotting global
politics until everyone just gets along.

Fuck.

DONNA: I'm going to be
straight with you, Ben.

It's opening night,
and you look like shit.

Can you see a mark?

- What?
- It's f-fucking Charles and Loretta.

I-I'm done with them both!

I don't know what's going
on with you, darling,

but this is not a good energy.

Go to your dressing room.

Be nice to Ben.

Do whatever it takes to get your
ass ready to go on that stage.

[sighs] Alright.

♪

TOBERT: Oh, hey, you're here!

Yeah, where the shit
else would I be?

Right. Well, how about we start shooting
some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh?

Look, dude, you... I-I'm
not an animal in your zoo.

What?

I'm doing the thing
you're paying me to do.

- You know what? Not anymore.
- Wait!

Gimme that! Why don't
you fuck the fuck off?

You know what? Fucking happy to!

[punches door]

♪

So, Ben takes Tobert's camera

into his dressing room where
he's caught talking to somebody.

Watch.

[clicking]

I want you so fucking bad.

[sighs]

But you're gonna ruin my career.

And I'm gonna like it.

Who the hell is he talking to?

Everyone's accounted for.

This, my friends, is
what we call a dead end.

♪

[sighing]

I told Ben, "I
know what you did."

But I didn't have
the whole picture.

H-His brother was leaving him.

I punched him.

He was fasting.

His elderly sewing ladies
got stuck in UN traffic

and didn't even see the show.

And all this goes on

30 minutes before
his Broadway debut

after being up all night
making hankies for everybody?

Oh, my God.

It was Ben who needed
a hanky to cry into.

[sobs] Oh jeez!

Oh!

The damn has burst!

[sobbing]

Nah, there's a little bit.

- There's a little something.
- Eh, not much.

Thank God that's over.

[sighs]

Ben must have been poisoned
in that pocket of time

by whoever he was talking to.

If we could just figure
out... CHARLES: Give it up.

We don't know what
we don't know.

[sighs] Sorry, Oliver. I don't
think we're gonna solve this

in time to free Loretta.

I suppose it's fine.

I guess I'll just
die sad and alone.

Wanna know how I was able to
access those tears just now?

I thought about Joy.

Seeing her wedding dress
was like a punch in the gut.

I hear she's with Bakula now.

Scott or Jeff?

Scott. Who's Jeff Bakula?

Meh, I have both of you beat

in the "we're
losers" competition.

I still don't have
my life figured out,

I haven't solved this case,
and I have no place to live.

Still lost.

You don't have to have it all
worked out. You've got time.

Yeah, well, tell that
to 10-year-old Mabel.

[sighs] This is a MASH
from when I was a kid.

You know, the game that
tells you your future?

Anyway, mine predicted

that I would be married
to Josh Hartnett,

with two kids,

driving a Honda Odyssey.

I was so sure this
MASH was right.

I made my mom promise to send
it to me when I turned 30.

Came in the mail today,
so perfect timing.

Wait.

Are you saying today's
your 30th birthday?

[sighs]

And you spent it running around
looking for clues with the two of us?

Honestly, there's no
way I'd rather spend it.

[sighs]

What do you think
10-year-old Mabel would say

if she could see how your
life actually turned out?

Oh, she'd be horrified.

But what the fuck did she
know? She shopped at Wet Seal.

[door opens] HOWARD: I did it!

I solved the shredder paper!

But I've been taping too long.

My vision's gone
blurry. I can't read it.

- No, no, o-over here. Yes, okay.
- Oh, you're over here.

OM God! I know what this is.

- That fast?
- No, I just need to read two words.

Two words I'll never forget.

"Didn't sing."

This is Maxine's review
of my original show,

but it was never published.

How did someone get ahold
of this? HOWARD: Two words.

I need to get LASIK, and
he only needed two words.

- What is that?
- Torn paper?

I need to tape it
together. [grabs paper]

Look what you've turned me into!

[thuds] Ow.

This review says Ben was
the weak link of the show.

She said, "He was as wooden as
the lighthouse he's standing on."

What if someone read
this that night?

Maybe they decided to get
rid of Ben to save the play.

There are a lot of careers
riding on it being a hit.

Not mine, of course. I came to
it as an established TV veteran.

- Yes, and thank you for your service.
- Guys?

This could be our motive.

Now we're getting somewhere!

I-I need to refuel.

Charles, please tell me
you have some dips...

I think there's some Norwegian
red herring in the fridge.

♪

Hey, did that review
mention my performance?

Huh? Oh, uh, no. Nothing.

Really? 'Cause I kinda
had a big, big role...

Charles, don't.
[lighter clicking]

♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪

BOTH: Happy birthday to you!

♪ Happy birthday, dear Mabel ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪

- You're flat, horrible.
- I know.

Thank you, guys. [all laugh]

Come on. Make a wish.

[sighs] Ah, yes. CHARLES:
Hey, come on. Sit down.

There you go.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.

- [giggles]
- They tried to keep us apart,

make me stick to my
heart-healthy diet,

but you found your
way back to me.

- [growls, moaning]
- Oliver, keep going.

Yeah... Why?

I know you feel it, too.

You want me... No, you
need me to tear into you,

you naughty little
mistress. [loud chewing]

I know who Ben was talking to.

- Wait!
- Gimme that!

Why don't you fuck the fuck off?

TOBERT [muffled]: You know
what? Fucking happy to!

[Tobert punches door]

♪

[coat hangers rattle]

You're not supposed to be here.

We both know you're bad.

[panting]

[sighs]

[sighs] God, I want you.

I want you so fucking bad.

But we both know
you'll ruin my career

and I'm gonna like it.

[turns off camera]

[sighs]

[deep sniffing, sighing]

[loud moan]

Mm!

[mouth full] Oh, my God!

Oh!

[moaning]

[heavy breathing]

What the fuck did you just do?

[sighs]

You ate the whole thing.

You're disgusting.

[swallows, sighs]

Loretta was right.

You're a fucking pig.

You're a fucking pig!

You're a fucking
pig. You... are...

a fucking... pig!

Pig! [panting]

Pig! [oinking]
You're a fucking pig!

[oinking]

[squealing]

[snorts] Fucking pig!

♪

[gasping]

[sobs]

[dialing]

[gasping]

[dial tone] [gasps]

TRIXIE [on phone]: This is
Trixie. Please leave me a message.

Uh, hey!

It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny.

Um...

A-Are you guys
coming to the show?

I really need you t-to be here.

Uh...

I've just never felt so alone.

[knocking] OLIVER
[muffled]: Ben!

Everyone gets opening night
jitters! I can talk you through it.

BEN: I-I gotta go.
Please get here soon.

I'm surrounded by people I can't
trust. They're all out to get me.

[hangs up] [sighs]

♪

[sniffles]

[sniffs, coughs] Uh...

I'm good.

I'm good.

[door opens]

This whole time, it wasn't
who Ben was talking to.

It was what.

You think if those last 30
minutes hadn't been so brutal,

maybe Ben wouldn't have
needed to eat that cookie.

Maybe he'd still be alive.

That cookie!

It was from Donna.

Mabel, what did that review
say about Ben's performance?

It said he was as wooden
as the lighthouse.

Donna said that exact
thing at sitzprobe.

She'd read the review.

A-And you know, she was always bragging
about her connection to the paper.

I bet she sweet-talked someone
into slipping her a copy.

She'd sabotage her own play?

It wasn't hers.

It was her son's.

His first production.

And if it had been panned,

it could have also
been his last.

♪

MABEL: So, let's say Donna
gets her hands on the review

which says Ben is the
weak link of the show.

[Donna sighs]

[doorknob rattling]

HOWARD [muffled]: That's odd.

[whirring, grinding]

She spots the rat poison.

Then, the cookie.

And she gets the
idea to poison Ben.

[sighs]

♪

OLIVER: She leaves him the
cookie, knowing it's his weakness,

and that he's in a
bad spot emotionally.

The perfect temptation.

CHARLES: All she has to do now
is make sure he eats the cookie.

Go to your dressing
room. Be nice to Ben.

Do whatever it takes to get your
ass ready to go on that stage.

Yeah. [sighs]

TOBERT: Oh, hey, you're here!

BEN: Yeah, where the
shit else would I be?

TOBERT: Right. Well, how
about we start shooting

some behind-the-scenes
stuff, huh?

BEN: Look, dude, you... I-I'm
not an animal in your zoo.

So, we have our
motive, the review.

We have the murder
weapon, a cookie.

And when the cookie
doesn't work,

she pushes him down
the elevator shaft.

She was in and out of
that party all night.

She could have easily
made a murderous pit stop.

So

We have our killer, Donna.

Which means we can
get Loretta out!

I-I don't know.

Her arraignment's in 20 minutes,

and the courthouse
is way downtown.

And I'm all out of ladders.

And I can't cry
twice in one day.

Unless I think of
my dad. Or my mom.

Or any moment from my childhood.

Mabel, what is it?

Nobody stops a bride.

♪

[church bells tolling]

I still don't get why
you guys wore tuxes.

Oh, I never miss a
chance to put on my tux.

Last time I wore
this was 1987 Emmys.

Wait, wait! That means... Hey!

- Bebe Neuwirth's phone number!
- Ah!

Oh! Oh, oh, oh! MABEL: Oh no!

OLIVER: A bride
needs a cab, please.

Bride. Bride needs a cab.
MABEL: Oh, thank you.

You, out. You, in.
MABEL: Thank you, ma'am!

OLIVER: That's very good.

MABEL: Wanna know
what I wished for

over that birthday candle
stuck in a tub of dip?

You're looking at it.

Thank you...

Me with my two besties
doing murder stuff.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Not a bad life.

Wait. Whoa, whoa. Slow down.
Y'all got an appointment?

It's my wedding, ma'am.

And you guys are,
what, her two dads?

That's right. We're the
fathers of the bride. [laughs]

- Oh, that's fun.
- So you got a groom in there?

[panting] Why does there
always have to be a groom?

- Many happy returns.
- Thank you.

♪

- [crowd gasps]
- There she is.

Loretta, wait!

Oliver, what are you doing here?

I came to stop you.
Don't plead guilty.

Wow. You look...
great in orange.

Oh! I do?

[giggles] Thanks.

You look really nice, too.

- I do?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, this old thing.
I... [both laugh]

We know who murdered Ben.

You only confessed
to save Dickie,

but he didn't do it.
And we can prove that.

- You have to trust me.
- [sighs] I do.

I trust you. I just...

[whispers] I've gone down
this road so far already.

[sighing]

Who do you think did it?

Um, Oliver?

♪ Dramatic sting ♪

[Oliver snorts]

Fuckity fuck.

♪