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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,878 ♪ 2 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:04,338 Oliver Putnam, long considered 3 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:07,424 New York's most un-land-able bachelor, is in love. 4 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:10,552 That's right. This merchandise is off the market, bruh. 5 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:13,096 Ah! Loretta. Whom you have yet to ask out. 6 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,101 [text whooshes] 7 00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:20,854 You're not supposed to be here. 8 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,898 There was someone in his dressing room. 9 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,608 Whose lipstick is this? 10 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,235 I would imagine it belongs to our killer. 11 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,612 You found my lipstick. 12 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,823 Charles-Haden Savage, I'd be honored. 13 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,617 The answer is yes. 14 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,161 I would love to marry you! 15 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,913 This is a fun twist. 16 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,004 ♪ gentle melody playing ♪ 17 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,799 [birds chirping] [breeze blowing] 18 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,593 [bicycles rattling] 19 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:55,138 JOY: Ah, love! You gotta love it. 20 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:58,934 Everywhere you look, there it is. 21 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,311 But in the city that never sleeps, 22 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,939 how do you really know who the hell you're sleeping with? 23 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,901 People can conceal some very dirty secrets. 24 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,194 [knocking] 25 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:12,072 [glass shattering] [grunting, yelling] 26 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,700 Or fatally fatal flaws. 27 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,076 [Oliver growls] 28 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,911 [nervous laughter] [Joy muttering] 29 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,955 Everything's fine. [glass shattering] 30 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:20,956 [shuts door] 31 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:23,500 Joy's just loudly shattering sea glass to put in her aquarium. 32 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,877 Sure, sure. 33 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,296 Uh, have you asked your new fiancée about the lipstick yet? 34 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:30,257 Did she write "fucking pig" on Ben's dressing room mirror? 35 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,718 [laughs] Oh yeah. No. But, I will. 36 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,928 Charles, you said you would ask her two days ago. 37 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,430 Let us in. We can talk to her. 38 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:39,558 I am handling the situation in my own time. 39 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,518 - [glass shatters] - See, I told you he didn't need our help, 40 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,687 but I do. Does this scarf say, 41 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,148 "Loretta, I've loved you since the first day I met you"? 42 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,651 I don't know what the scarf is saying, but all I can see is a crayon box. 43 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,195 OLIVER: Ah. Well, see, that's why 44 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,197 we always carry a backup. 45 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,866 - Thank you, Mabel. - Charles, 46 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,576 I can calmly talk to Joy. 47 00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:00,245 You know, investigator woman to suspect woman. 48 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,332 She is not another Jan. I... think. She could be 49 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,876 but it's important for me to be able to interrogate 50 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,754 my murderous girlfriend... fiancée... 51 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,047 [Joy yells, glass shatters] Shit. 52 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,882 What about my hair? 53 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,050 Is it giving Karen... 54 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,135 [imitating Cary Grant] or Cary Grant? 55 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,471 Hold on. [stammering] 56 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,349 - Mabel Mora, are you going out on a date? - Date? 57 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,851 No! I-- No. No. 58 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,728 Tobert has a suspect he has a lead on. 59 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,480 I'm meeting him for a stakeout, 60 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,482 and the place has a dress code. 61 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,484 - Well, it's a date. - Yeah. 62 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,362 It's a stakeout! When two totally platonic, 63 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:36,031 semi-professional investigators wait together, 64 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,158 in an out-of-sight, enclosed space, 65 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,036 and watch while a suspect hopefully incriminates themselves, 66 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,121 while we hold in our pee for hours [Joy grunts, glass shatters] 67 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,540 and eat stale Cheetos. 68 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:46,542 In a cocktail dress. 69 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,544 Look, I'm gonna unmute your texts. 70 00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:50,587 I'll be in the wings if anything should go haywire. 71 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,588 [Joy screams, glass shatters] 72 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,131 [Charles laughs nervously] [twists door knob] 73 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,717 I'll be okay. [Joy grunts, glass shatters] 74 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,929 [Joy screams, glass shatters] [door shuts] 75 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,430 [growls] Oy. 76 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:05,143 JOY: Is it possible you're sleeping next to a lunatic, or a liar? 77 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,687 Sure, it is. [elevator dings] 78 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,855 ♪ 79 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,566 But I always tell people, better lose your mind loving 80 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,609 than to live your life loveless. 81 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,903 It's been a while since I dipped my quill 82 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,738 in a woman's ink pot. 83 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,283 Any new moves I should know about? 84 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,410 Please don't make me take the next one. 85 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,413 ♪ lively theme song playing ♪ 86 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,416 ♪ vocalizing ♪ 87 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,710 [door opens] [footsteps] 88 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:15,214 ♪ soft music playing ♪ 89 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,435 ♪ 90 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,647 Joy, can you come in here, please? 91 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,944 ♪ rapidly hums Wedding March ♪ 92 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:40,364 ♪ Here comes the bride, all dressed in white ♪ 93 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:43,575 ♪ She's wearing a thong, we hope that's not wrong ♪ 94 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,369 ♪ We're late to taste ♪ 95 00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:48,747 ♪ Magnolia Bakery wedding cakes ♪ 96 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,040 [both laughing] 97 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,416 [playful yelp] 98 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,294 - [laughs] Charlie, you ready to go? - Yeah! 99 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,587 Yeah. Hey, Joy! 100 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,340 Hey, this, uh, Ruby Strippers lipstick? 101 00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,883 - Uh-huh. - Did I tell you where we found it? 102 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,301 It was backstage. 103 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,345 - Okay... - Yeah. It was-- 104 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,264 [through kisses] in Ben's dressing room to be exact. 105 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,349 I mean, any clue how that would've gotten there? 106 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,893 [sighs] Hey, Brazzos. 107 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,937 [tough guy accent] Hang up your badge, okay? 108 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,481 We're on hiatus. 109 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,233 Remember? [blows] 110 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:17,985 [Joy laughs] 111 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,779 Yeah, b-but just for my case files, how would it have gotten there? 112 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,782 - [aquarium bubbling] - Seriously, President McKinley? 113 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:27,035 This is your last strike! 114 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,161 President McKinley? 115 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,497 I always wanted to be friends with a president, 116 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,208 but this one's an asshole. 117 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:36,920 You think I don't see what you're doing, you slimy-finned terrorist? 118 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,214 I do not tolerate bullies. [splashing] 119 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,842 You're in solitary, POTUS. 120 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,260 [Joy chuckles] 121 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,930 Joy, 122 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,017 someone wrote a threatening message on Ben's mirror with this. 123 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,186 Do you know anything about that? 124 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,187 ♪ 125 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,564 Charles-Haden Savage. 126 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,985 Do you honestly think I had something to do with Ben's death? 127 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,403 [knocking on door] 128 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,578 - Whoa! - Happy engagement! 129 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:10,579 [both laugh] CHARLES: Ow! 130 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,999 Whoa! Charles, you gotta get you to my Pilates guy. 131 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,501 And my face guy. 132 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,711 You got a little Shar-Pei action going on there. 133 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:19,880 [soft laugh] 134 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,257 - Sazzmatazz! - Almond Joy! 135 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,301 BOTH: Oh... 136 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,762 You know, they say a gift given in love 137 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:29,598 has the power to wipe away any storm brewing. 138 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,225 It's an 18-piece fondue set. 139 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:34,436 - Oh, thank you. - Aw, we missed ya, Sazzmanian Devil. 140 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,813 Well, Wile E. Joy-ote, 141 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,982 apparently not enough for your new fiancé 142 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,443 to make me his understudy in the play. 143 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,570 - Oh, well, I-- - I'm over it. 144 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,156 I'm doing stunts for Bakula next week in LA. 145 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,866 Are you cheating on me with Scott?! 146 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,743 JOY: Ooh. 147 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,537 Woo! 148 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,413 Do send Scotty my love. [Charles laughs] 149 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,582 I miss his faith in me. 150 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,544 He never accuses me of horrible things. 151 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,295 You know what, Charles? 152 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,464 You trust my palate, right? 153 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,217 I think that, uh, I can taste test these cakes on my own. 154 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,427 You stay here with Sazz. 155 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,472 Maybe she wants to be interrogated. 156 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,809 - [slams door] - Ooh. 157 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,521 Okay, talk to mama. 158 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,024 [metal rattling] [exhales, snorts] 159 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,318 [spritz] 160 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,531 [knocking] [door unlocks] 161 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:30,993 - [sighs] Oh! Oliver, you're here. - Ah. 162 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:33,620 - I thought I heard someone. - You're a vision. 163 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,914 - [nervous chuckle] - Well... [nervous chuckle] 164 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,083 Enchanté, ma chérie. [oven timer dings] 165 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,252 Oh. Welcome to my slice of New York. 166 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,629 It's itty-bitty, but it's, you know, it's... 167 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,630 [oven door squeaks] 168 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,465 - Oh! Mm-hmm. - Art! 169 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,467 It's art. 170 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,720 [Loretta sighs] Who are you? 171 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,348 [sighs] I'm a woman with a broken microwave. 172 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:57,060 Which is why I'm forced to [coughs] improvise with this... 173 00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,397 prehistoric broiler that I never use! [laughs] 174 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,107 You do like pork chops though, don't you? 175 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,402 Oh, sure. Love solid food. Love... 176 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,030 chewing on a chop. [both laugh] 177 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,740 [coughing] Yeah. 178 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:12,492 You know, I zap a perfectly pink one in my microwave. 179 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,287 - Yeah? Mm... - But it's broken and now my timing, 180 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,873 - the temperature, all thrown off. - C-Can I assist? 181 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,584 No, just, uh, pop a squat, kumquat. 182 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:21,752 - [giggles] - Oh. 183 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,505 [beep] 184 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,964 So... unique. 185 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,424 [pots clanging] 186 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,218 What's this fun thing? 187 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,512 - Oh no! Don't open that! Don't do that! - Oh! 188 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:32,804 [Oliver laughs nervously] 189 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,806 S... I'm sorry. I didn't... 190 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,559 Didn't mean to jump the gun. 191 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,561 ♪ 192 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,980 Dinner before dessert, I always say. 193 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,316 Oh. [nervous laugh] 194 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:47,319 [restaurant chatter] 195 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,322 ♪ soft piano playing ♪ 196 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,658 There you are. 197 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,410 - Hi. - Hi. 198 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,662 You look fantastic. 199 00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,499 Thanks. You also look, um... 200 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,501 Well, you know, I clean up. 201 00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:07,214 So, we're here because your suspect 202 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,715 likes swanky piano bars? 203 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,676 Oh, I already ordered us some, uh, bites. 204 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,094 I wasn't sure what your drink was. 205 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,846 EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome... 206 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:17,057 Wait, what's going on? Wh-Where's your lead? 207 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,976 - [applause, cheering] - [over microphone] Hey, cool cats. 208 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,520 I'm Johnny Jay, and I'm gonna sing for you tonight. 209 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,814 ♪ jaunty piano tune begins ♪ 210 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:27,150 ♪ Just a song at twilight ♪ 211 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,987 ♪ When the lights are low ♪ 212 00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,905 Jonathan? 213 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,449 Howard's sweet boyfriend is your guy? 214 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:37,035 Well, he was. I thought he was a great suspect. 215 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,245 Ben's understudy? 216 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,581 Who else had more to gain from him dying, you know? 217 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,624 But, I've been following him around for a while now, 218 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,419 and all I could find out was that he volunteers with Broadway Cares 219 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:48,088 and has this fantastic weekly cabaret set. 220 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,798 - You've gotta be kidding me. - No, seriously. 221 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:53,010 He did, uh, Somewhere Over The Rainbow last week. I actually wept. 222 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:56,346 Let me get this straight. You texted me saying you have a lead. 223 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,223 I text you saying "tell me more." 224 00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,933 You say "meet me here," I'm here, 225 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,269 and now you're telling me you don't have a lead. 226 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,688 You're just Jonathan's biggest cabaret fan. 227 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:08,525 And now, I am on a date with that cute girl from the armoire. 228 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,527 ♪ piano continues ♪ 229 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,780 Okay, yes, I got creative. Is that okay? 230 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,367 Mezcal old-fashioned. 231 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,119 Is my drink. 232 00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,163 That I'm now gonna need. 233 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:22,664 WAITER: Yes, ma'am. 234 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,249 [Tobert sighs] 235 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,464 [aquarium bubbling] SAZZ: Let's unpack what just happened. 236 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,133 Safe space. Well, safe-ish. [laughs] 237 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,468 This is the Arconia. 238 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,887 Oh, abnormal amount of death in this place. 239 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:40,265 By the way, are we sure that the killer was after Ben, 240 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,267 - and not you, Charles? - What? 241 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,520 Well, I've been getting some vibes. 242 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,271 I also have my ham radio, 243 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,858 and there's chatter of people wishing it was you instead of Ben. 244 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,569 - Me?! - Anywhos, 245 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,238 what's going on with Joy? 246 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:56,156 And have you talked to a therapist about it? 247 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,575 - I don't have a therapist. - I know you don't. 248 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,537 It was always worth me asking, 'cause that big white head of yours? 249 00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:03,705 [laughs] Could use a good shrinking. 250 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,041 Ah, Jan and I laugh about that. 251 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,042 - Jan? - Whoa! 252 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,086 I should've trigger-warned. Yes, yes. 253 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:12,172 I have continued to see Jan, yes. 254 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,216 As in dating? She's a murderer. 255 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,425 Yeah. 256 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,053 You know, I guess it's the, uh, stuntwoman in me. 257 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,931 I got the hots for danger. [soft laugh] 258 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,767 Anyway, it's a bit hard behind plexiglass. 259 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,520 Or, as Jan calls it, sexi-glass. 260 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:30,607 There's only so much you can do with a raised eyebrow, 261 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,735 a wet lip, and a sliver of tit. 262 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,946 God, you are tense, man. 263 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,197 Sazz. 264 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,033 - I'm worried that Joy is another killer. - What?! 265 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,743 Joy? 266 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,537 We've known her for decades. 267 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,080 No, no, no, no, no. 268 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,125 You've got the case and the engagement all mushed up. 269 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,043 You have to prove to yourself Joy's not a murderer, 270 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,336 so you can go ahead with the wedding. 271 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,089 No. I have to prove Joy isn't a murderer, 272 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,465 so I can break up with her 273 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,843 and not be in fear for my life like I was with Jan! 274 00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:01,305 Charles, you are suffering from MGDS: 275 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:04,683 Murderous Girlfriend Derangement Syndrome. 276 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,852 It's rare. I invented it. 277 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:09,229 But it also means I know the treatment. 278 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,399 Whoa. You know you got the Rolls Royce of fish tanks here. 279 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,360 ♪ 280 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,822 We're gonna play a game. 281 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,451 Cheers. 282 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,286 Cheers. [glasses clink] 283 00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:26,830 So glad we didn't waste our money going to Le Cirque. 284 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,708 - [both laugh] - Yeah. 285 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,001 Hm... 286 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,253 Mm. [sighs] 287 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,507 LORETTA: Mm... [sighs] 288 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,136 [Oliver grunts] 289 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,432 It's so solid. So fully formed, you know? 290 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,726 - Damn broiler. I'm just-- - No, it's just... 291 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,770 Oh, what the hell, I'm just gonna... 292 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,147 Look at this. [loud grunt] That's what I'm gonna... 293 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:54,107 - Well... - Wh-Why cut it? 294 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,108 Why not? 295 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,944 [crunching] [loud grunt] 296 00:12:58,070 --> 00:13:00,322 So good. [smacks lips] 297 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,784 ♪ 298 00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:05,494 [Oliver sighs] 299 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,996 - Oh, my God! - Oh! 300 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,748 So sorry! [both gasp] 301 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:12,084 Is that mine?! LORETTA: Oh no, I'm so mortified! 302 00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:13,961 Let me get you some ice or something. 303 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:17,881 No, no, no, I don't-- I-I actually don't feel anything... 304 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,466 - You sure? - No. 305 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,803 Oh God. 306 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,973 [gasps] [weak whistling] 307 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,934 [both laugh] 308 00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,269 [snorts] 309 00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:32,980 [Oliver groans] I love that little snort you do. 310 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,232 [laughs] You do? LORETTA: Yeah, 311 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:38,235 I do. [laughs] You're like an adorable little piglet. 312 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:41,738 [Loretta snorting] [awkward laugh] 313 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,867 I played a pig in the cruise ship production 314 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,244 of Charlotte's Web once, in my 30s, 315 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:50,205 but I think I really honed my snort 316 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:53,709 when I played Snowball in a black box production 317 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:55,627 of, um, Animal Farm. 318 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,421 How many pigs have you played? 319 00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,548 [imitating pig] I don't know. [oinking] 320 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,466 - [laughing] - Come on. 321 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,678 Fucking pigs. Fucking pi-- 322 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,681 Hey, you know who was a real fucking pig? [laughs] 323 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,100 Ben Glenroy. 324 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,186 [laughs, clears throat] 325 00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:13,604 Let's toast to him. 326 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,190 ♪ 327 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,696 - What's the matter? - N-Nothing. 328 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:23,739 You just went white. 329 00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:26,742 No, no, no, nothing. I just, um, it's just those words. 330 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,912 Did you ever tell Ben that? 331 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,664 That he was a, how'd you put it, a fucking pig? 332 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:35,584 Let's not talk about Ben now. I mean... 333 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,295 Yes! No, no, no. No, no, no, n-- 334 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,465 No more Ben talk. No more Ben. No Ben. 335 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:42,716 Just... 336 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,721 - [clears throat] - Did I just make things weird? 337 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,516 - No! No, no, no. No. Just... - Yes. 338 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:54,269 You poor thing. Your tooth. 339 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,649 Do you trust me? 340 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,067 Huh? 341 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,736 Wanna get outta here? 342 00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:07,741 I know just the place for this. 343 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:11,245 ♪ upbeat piano playing ♪ 344 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:17,793 ♪ Meet me tonight in dreamland ♪ 345 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:21,129 Mm! Okay, so your drink of choice, mezcal. 346 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,633 Your weather of choice, rain. And your favorite time of day, night. 347 00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:26,927 Not exactly a fount of information, are you? 348 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,638 Hey, you got me here under false pretenses. 349 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:31,181 I'm making you work for it. [laughs] 350 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:35,102 That's fair. So, um, Oliver and Charles, what is that deal? 351 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,271 Are they, like, your dads, your patrons, 352 00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:39,231 your volunteer work, what? [laughs] 353 00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:42,192 No! They're... my best buds. 354 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:44,194 Okay. That's rad. 355 00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:46,989 But, like, what do you talk about? 356 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,824 Murder, mostly. 357 00:15:48,824 --> 00:15:51,827 And how to connect to Bluetooth. We talk about that a lot. 358 00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:54,037 So what do you say? Have I earned a second round? 359 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,207 - WAITER: Yes, ma'am? - Two more, please. 360 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,458 WAITER: Coming right up. 361 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,546 Alright, so who's in your crew? And wildlife doesn't count. 362 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,965 Honestly, it's really tough to stay in contact 363 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,592 with anybody when you're constantly traveling. 364 00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:11,430 And if you don't have a partner to ground you, put down roots... 365 00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,726 Is that something you want? 366 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,270 I think about it. 367 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:22,107 SAZZ: Welcome to "Commit Or Be Committed!" 368 00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,401 And tonight's contestants are me, 369 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,111 in the role of Joy Payne, 370 00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,863 makeup artist to the stars. 371 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:30,949 And playing opposite Joy, you know him as Brazzos, 372 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,952 - Charles-Haden Savage! - Hey. [chuckles] 373 00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:37,164 Our first category... 374 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:40,083 is sexual relations. 375 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,461 [whispers] Now, remember. I'm Joy. 376 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,382 [imitating Joy] I need sex twice a day, 377 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,468 three times on weekends! 378 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:54,431 [imitates buzzer] Wrong answer! 379 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,392 Nothing wrong with a supercharged sex drive, Charles. 380 00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:01,021 Our next category is the future. 381 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,190 [imitating Joy] You are my future. 382 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:06,818 And I'll never, ever leave you, Charlie. Ever! 383 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:09,530 Never! Never ever! 384 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:13,617 [lights click] Well! Our first green light. 385 00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:16,620 Alright. You're up. Dig deep. 386 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,288 [sighs] 387 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:23,669 Joy has been this close to my face for 30-plus years, 388 00:17:23,669 --> 00:17:26,004 looking at every flaw and pore, 389 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,757 and she still wants to jump my bones, often twice a day. 390 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,343 Now, isn't that the behavior of a psychopath? 391 00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:34,680 Mm, sounds like the behavior of someone who loves you for you. 392 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,640 But I'm me. 393 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,602 Look at me. Is this the face of someone who deserves Joy? 394 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,104 [click] SAZZ: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! 395 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:43,730 I think we have a diagnosis. 396 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,357 Charles-Haden Savage, 397 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,485 you're not afraid of uppercase "J" Joy. 398 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,655 You're afraid of lowercase "j" joy. 399 00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:54,825 ♪ 400 00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:58,036 [aquarium bubbling] 401 00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,997 That's it. 402 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,207 That's my problem. 403 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,293 Now do you still think she's capable of murder? 404 00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,086 No, I was crazy for thinking that. 405 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:09,548 No, you're not that complex. You do need to stop being a scaredy cat. 406 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,553 [both trill lips, sigh] 407 00:18:14,553 --> 00:18:17,556 ♪ 408 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,351 LORETTA: Whoa. 409 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,061 [gasps] [Oliver laughs] 410 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,563 Wow! 411 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:27,524 - Oh, my gosh. - You know, it is truly amazing 412 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,735 that you can charter a yacht 413 00:18:29,735 --> 00:18:32,029 in the greatest city on Earth for four dollars. 414 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,655 [laughs] Yeah. 415 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,616 [laughs] Is there a destination? 416 00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,826 - The tropics? - You'll see. 417 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,077 [both laugh] 418 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,287 Pick your poison. 419 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,997 Poison? 420 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,166 Or... 421 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,044 Hoo-wee! 422 00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:49,463 Now, we're talking. [Loretta giggles] 423 00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:52,049 - Look, that joint has purple rolling paper. - I know. 424 00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:53,342 Groovy-doobie. 425 00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:54,968 [Indian accent] Do you doobie, baby? 426 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,054 [both laugh] 427 00:18:57,054 --> 00:19:00,307 My 12th roommate, Babette Claus, 428 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,559 gave me this back in 1978. 429 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,186 [soft laugh] 430 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,563 - Wait, Babette? I-Is-- - Yeah. 431 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,566 Is that the chorus girl that got struck by lightning 432 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,985 - skinny dipping in Central Park-- - Skinny dipping, Central Park Reservoir. 433 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:15,113 - I know... Mm-hmm. - Oh my-- Okay, this is... this is insane. 434 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:18,951 I rolled 10 joints for Babette 435 00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:22,412 using a purple streamer from Studio 54 that year. 436 00:19:23,247 --> 00:19:25,040 - At Grace Jones'-- - Her 30th birthday party! 437 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,041 Yes! 438 00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,627 - I was at that party! Yes, I was! - No, you were not. 439 00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:30,045 Oh, my God! 440 00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:33,257 That's the only time I ever got in there. [laughs] 441 00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:36,510 This is ridic-- I can't believe this. I think I rolled that joint. 442 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:40,305 - Now, spark it, baby! - Wow. 443 00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,057 [laughing] 444 00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:44,601 So I guess-- I guess we've been 445 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,437 running in the same circles for a long time. 446 00:19:48,689 --> 00:19:51,108 - Oh, yes. - It's a shame our orbits never crossed. 447 00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:54,069 Well, I may not have been on your radar, 448 00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:57,364 but you were certainly on mine. [exhales] 449 00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:02,661 I would've killed to be in one of your productions but [sniffs]... 450 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:06,623 something always happened to screw it up. 451 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:09,585 Like my ponytail got stuck in the subway doors once 452 00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:13,422 on the way to audition for your Merry Wives. 453 00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:15,424 Oh, and then there was the time Bernadette Peters 454 00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:18,302 gave me a bottled water that was laced with Valium. 455 00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,596 And then I passed out in the waiting room, 456 00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:23,348 and I missed the chance to be your Annie Oakley. 457 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,726 You made that all up, didn't you? [both laugh] 458 00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:27,561 [horn blares] [both yelp] 459 00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:28,854 Oh Jesus. 460 00:20:28,854 --> 00:20:31,899 [horn continues] Dear God. Oh my... 461 00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:32,941 Wow. [sniffs] 462 00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,943 Yeah, but you know, it is always something 463 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:38,780 just infuriatingly, um, banal. 464 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:42,326 Like, "your accent is too authentic," 465 00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:45,495 o-or, "casting doesn't like you," or-- I don't know. 466 00:20:45,996 --> 00:20:48,790 You know, when I was a kid, they called me Lucky Durkin 467 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,628 because I won the school raffle four times. 468 00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,173 But, since then... 469 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:59,426 [deep inhale, deep exhale] 470 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,845 Some nickname that turned out to be. 471 00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:05,390 Maybe I'm just cursed. [weak laugh] 472 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,850 [sighs] 473 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,645 Or... it's probably... 474 00:21:10,062 --> 00:21:11,855 what I deserve. 475 00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:15,442 Oh, come on. What could you have done to deserve being cursed? 476 00:21:18,195 --> 00:21:19,446 [sighs] 477 00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,534 Open your mouth. 478 00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:26,620 ♪ 479 00:21:28,539 --> 00:21:30,207 [exhales] 480 00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:31,458 [Oliver inhales] 481 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,585 ♪ 482 00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,506 [gap whistling] That was super sexy. 483 00:21:38,257 --> 00:21:40,259 Am I crazy? [laughs] 484 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,678 I thi... 485 00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:45,556 I think the gap is handsome. 486 00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:48,767 Well, that might be the 40-year-old weed taking effect, 487 00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:51,395 you know? [both laugh] 488 00:21:51,770 --> 00:21:56,358 ♪ There let my dreams... ♪ 489 00:21:56,358 --> 00:22:02,114 ♪ Come true... ♪ 490 00:22:02,114 --> 00:22:04,950 [cheering and applause] 491 00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:09,538 God, I can't believe you ever thought Jonathan was... 492 00:22:09,538 --> 00:22:11,540 ♪ A murdering man ♪ 493 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:14,251 That's still not a song, but cute. 494 00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:18,172 So, what, you solved the first two murders just on your first try, I presume? 495 00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:21,466 Yeah, totally. Between me, Charles, and Oliver, 496 00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:23,719 it's just, like, a one-day process. 497 00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:27,639 Well, lucky for me, this one's taking you a little bit longer. 498 00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,516 ♪ soft piano playing ♪ 499 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,560 Oh, there's Jonathan again. 500 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,563 [inaudible] 501 00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:35,939 Who's he hugging hello? 502 00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,651 No! Don't look. Don't draw attention. 503 00:22:40,736 --> 00:22:42,571 Could Jonathan be... 504 00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,741 No, he wouldn't cheat on Howard. 505 00:22:45,741 --> 00:22:47,618 With who? There's somebody? Describe him. 506 00:22:47,618 --> 00:22:50,621 Well, he looks like he should be in a limo. 507 00:22:50,621 --> 00:22:52,581 Rider or driver, I can't tell. 508 00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:54,166 That's your description? 509 00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:58,086 - He's wearing a red coat and a cap. - Huh. 510 00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:01,340 MABEL: Oh, now Jonathan's handing him an envelope, 511 00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,510 and the guy is giving him a slip of paper? 512 00:23:04,510 --> 00:23:06,136 Okay, this is killing me. I'm just gonna come to that side, 513 00:23:06,136 --> 00:23:07,596 - and we can both be watching. - No! 514 00:23:07,596 --> 00:23:09,723 [glasses shatter] [patrons gasp] 515 00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:12,351 - Sorry! Sorry. You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 516 00:23:12,351 --> 00:23:14,269 I think we should stay down here for a second. 517 00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:15,812 Yeah. 518 00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,189 - Okay, I gotta look. - No, no, no, don't. 519 00:23:17,189 --> 00:23:18,774 You look, he'll definitely see you. 520 00:23:18,774 --> 00:23:20,859 I mean, unless we do the classic move 521 00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:23,487 from the secret spy movies where the target looks, 522 00:23:23,487 --> 00:23:25,822 and just sees two unassuming secret agents making out. 523 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:27,991 Yeah, I don't think that'll be necessary. 524 00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:29,910 - They didn't see us. - Well. 525 00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:32,246 ♪ 526 00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:37,709 Ah, we should've done the kissing thing. 527 00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:44,842 What the hell? 528 00:23:44,842 --> 00:23:48,345 We need to figure out who this guy in the cap is. 529 00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,138 Actually, I think I do know that guy. 530 00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:52,057 ♪ 531 00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:57,521 [water lapping] LORETTA: We were very tired. 532 00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:59,773 We were very merry. 533 00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:03,360 We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry. 534 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,361 [Oliver chuckles] 535 00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:06,363 This is really... 536 00:24:07,906 --> 00:24:09,741 really nice. 537 00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:11,869 It is. [distant ship horn] 538 00:24:13,287 --> 00:24:16,290 [sighs] I'm sorry about earlier. 539 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,418 At my place. 540 00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:21,753 I didn't mean to get weird about Ben. 541 00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:25,132 I just had an idea about tonight 542 00:24:25,132 --> 00:24:29,094 and talking about a dead person just didn't feel like the mood. 543 00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,639 Well, it-it-it's alright to talk about him. 544 00:24:33,432 --> 00:24:36,935 You know, I mean it-it's quite the thing we all went through. 545 00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,353 - Yeah. - It's just... 546 00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:40,856 that was a very... [Loretta sighs] 547 00:24:40,856 --> 00:24:43,567 specific turn of phrase you used. 548 00:24:43,567 --> 00:24:45,110 "Fucking pig." 549 00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:47,863 [laughs] Yeah, shit, because I... 550 00:24:47,863 --> 00:24:50,991 I did call him that. [sighs] 551 00:24:50,991 --> 00:24:52,576 ♪ 552 00:24:52,576 --> 00:24:53,577 We had a fight. 553 00:24:53,577 --> 00:24:55,621 [sniffles] Yeah. 554 00:24:55,621 --> 00:24:58,248 Just half an hour before he went on the stage that night. 555 00:24:58,248 --> 00:24:59,583 [Ben struggling] [Loretta screams] 556 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:02,461 He said that I was obsessed with him, 557 00:25:02,461 --> 00:25:06,215 and that, uh, I had wormed my way into the show 558 00:25:06,715 --> 00:25:10,552 and that he didn't really want to share the stage with a no-name. 559 00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:14,473 So, I-- Yeah, I snapped. 560 00:25:14,473 --> 00:25:16,183 "You fucking pig." 561 00:25:16,183 --> 00:25:18,185 [struggling] Let go of me, you fucking pig! 562 00:25:18,185 --> 00:25:19,436 [sighs] 563 00:25:21,146 --> 00:25:23,649 The last thing I said to him... 564 00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:27,444 before he collapsed. Ugh. 565 00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:30,822 But I was... 566 00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:34,743 far from the only person in that theater who felt that way about him. 567 00:25:34,743 --> 00:25:37,246 He was an asshole to everybody. 568 00:25:38,747 --> 00:25:40,499 Even his [sighs]... 569 00:25:40,499 --> 00:25:44,044 kind-hearted brother. 570 00:25:47,506 --> 00:25:49,633 ♪ 571 00:25:49,633 --> 00:25:52,845 But I'm really sorry you didn't get your opening night. 572 00:25:54,972 --> 00:25:57,224 Well, I'm sorry he was terrible to you. 573 00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:00,811 I adore you, 574 00:26:00,811 --> 00:26:02,771 Loretta Lucky Durkin, 575 00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:05,524 and everything about you. 576 00:26:05,524 --> 00:26:08,402 Apart from that pork chop. I'll never forgive you for that. 577 00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:12,322 [both laugh, sigh] 578 00:26:14,116 --> 00:26:15,117 [quiet gasp] 579 00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:17,202 Here we are. 580 00:26:17,202 --> 00:26:20,205 This is why I brought you out on the ferry! 581 00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:22,040 What? 582 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,834 Family tradition. 583 00:26:23,834 --> 00:26:27,045 When I was a girl, whenever I lost a tooth, 584 00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:30,632 my mom would take me out on the Mississippi River, 585 00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,968 on the ferry boat and 586 00:26:32,968 --> 00:26:35,095 when we got underneath a bridge, 587 00:26:35,095 --> 00:26:38,140 we'd throw the tooth overboard 588 00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:39,474 and make a wish. 589 00:26:39,975 --> 00:26:41,727 The Tooth Fairy can swim? 590 00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:45,772 - It's-- - Tooth ferry. 591 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,357 - Tooth ferry! - Yeah. 592 00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:50,736 - Okay, okay. - I know, it's really corny. 593 00:26:50,736 --> 00:26:52,654 Oh, I-I'm a... 594 00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:55,657 - big fan of corny. - Well, here's your tooth. 595 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:58,035 Right. Alright. 596 00:26:58,035 --> 00:27:01,288 ♪ 597 00:27:01,288 --> 00:27:01,955 [quiet splash] 598 00:27:03,290 --> 00:27:06,293 ♪ vocalizing ♪ 599 00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:08,086 What'd you wish for? 600 00:27:16,553 --> 00:27:19,556 ♪ gentle crescendo ♪ 601 00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:29,399 ♪ music fades ♪ 602 00:27:29,399 --> 00:27:31,610 So who was he? 603 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:34,738 That was-- Thank you. That was Ben's private doctor. 604 00:27:34,738 --> 00:27:36,490 One of those, uh, celebrity concierge, 605 00:27:36,490 --> 00:27:38,617 anything-you-need prescription-filler types. 606 00:27:38,617 --> 00:27:40,827 He's actually come to see Ben a few times this past year. 607 00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:42,663 Huh. You know what for? 608 00:27:42,663 --> 00:27:45,749 Uh, they never let me in the room. I just know they call him Dr. C. 609 00:27:45,749 --> 00:27:48,001 Great, that's a perfect combination 610 00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:50,420 of mysterious and un-Googleable. 611 00:27:51,797 --> 00:27:54,007 But what was he talking to Jonathan about? 612 00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:57,052 And if Jonathan was paying him for something-- 613 00:27:57,052 --> 00:27:59,137 You are so cute when you theorize. 614 00:28:02,391 --> 00:28:03,892 We should get outta here. 615 00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:13,277 Hey! I'm sorry you missed Sazz. 616 00:28:13,277 --> 00:28:14,987 She asked me to give you a playful punch on the arm, 617 00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:17,322 but I don't wanna do that. How'd the tasting go? 618 00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:18,949 I brought back 20 samples, 619 00:28:18,949 --> 00:28:21,743 so I wouldn't accidentally leave a particular flavor behind 620 00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:24,621 and have you give me the third degree about it. 621 00:28:24,621 --> 00:28:26,081 Oh, about that. 622 00:28:26,081 --> 00:28:28,166 I-I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about the lipstick. 623 00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:32,045 [sighs] 624 00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:34,256 I was backstage on opening night. 625 00:28:34,256 --> 00:28:35,632 Oh? 626 00:28:35,632 --> 00:28:37,843 Howard summoned me back there in a panic 627 00:28:37,843 --> 00:28:41,013 because Ben had a cosmetic emergency. 628 00:28:41,013 --> 00:28:44,141 I don't know, I guess somebody hit him in the face, 629 00:28:44,141 --> 00:28:45,601 and left a big red mark, 630 00:28:45,601 --> 00:28:48,604 - and it needed covering, which I did. - Oh, wow. 631 00:28:48,604 --> 00:28:52,065 I'm guessing that my lipstick fell out of my clutch when I was back there. 632 00:28:55,611 --> 00:28:57,613 But I didn't write on his mirror 633 00:28:57,613 --> 00:29:00,449 because I didn't kill Ben, Charlie. 634 00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:03,368 Well, here's one I never told anyone. 635 00:29:03,368 --> 00:29:06,914 I may, uh... probably, 636 00:29:06,914 --> 00:29:09,374 have been the person who hit Ben. 637 00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:12,961 - [struggling] - [screams] Let go of me, you fucking pig! 638 00:29:12,961 --> 00:29:14,171 What the hell's going on? 639 00:29:14,171 --> 00:29:16,256 - LORETTA: He attacked me! - No, I didn't-- 640 00:29:16,256 --> 00:29:18,550 We were rehearsing. Stay out of it, fuckbag! 641 00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:19,551 CHARLES: Hey! 642 00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:21,845 [Charles grunts] [Loretta gasps] 643 00:29:21,845 --> 00:29:25,098 Wait, you hit Ben? The night he died? 644 00:29:25,974 --> 00:29:27,809 And yet, for some reason, 645 00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:30,395 you've been thinking that I could be the killer? 646 00:29:30,395 --> 00:29:31,855 Wh-- For how long? 647 00:29:31,855 --> 00:29:33,232 - Oh, not long at all. - Oh. 648 00:29:33,232 --> 00:29:36,735 I mean, at first, I was like, "Joy? My Joy? No way!" 649 00:29:36,735 --> 00:29:38,946 But then, Oliver and Mabel weren't so sure. 650 00:29:38,946 --> 00:29:42,157 Wh-- You talked about this with everyone else except me? 651 00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:45,035 And you still proposed thinking all this? 652 00:29:45,035 --> 00:29:47,829 [nervous laugh] Well, you know, funny story. 653 00:29:47,829 --> 00:29:50,082 That was actually an accident. 654 00:29:50,082 --> 00:29:51,250 Accident? 655 00:29:51,250 --> 00:29:53,669 Well... [stammering] 656 00:29:53,669 --> 00:29:56,588 No. Not a-- I mean, it was, but then-- 657 00:29:56,588 --> 00:29:58,632 You didn't mean to propose to me? 658 00:29:58,632 --> 00:30:00,384 No, I didn't. 659 00:30:00,384 --> 00:30:01,593 What? 660 00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:04,263 Wow. Okay. 661 00:30:04,263 --> 00:30:05,514 Gut punch. 662 00:30:05,514 --> 00:30:07,891 ♪ 663 00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:09,393 So... 664 00:30:11,144 --> 00:30:12,646 But... 665 00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:18,151 Do you wanna marry me now? 666 00:30:18,151 --> 00:30:21,071 I do! And it was great that you left me with Sazz 667 00:30:21,071 --> 00:30:24,157 because she did this thing with the fish tank, and a quiz. 668 00:30:24,157 --> 00:30:26,827 And it was like, uh, "Is Joy a nymphomaniac?" 669 00:30:26,827 --> 00:30:28,912 Do you hear yourself right now? 670 00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:33,125 I think of all the years of you in my makeup chair, Charlie. 671 00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:34,376 Joking. 672 00:30:35,419 --> 00:30:37,796 Little winks in the mirror. 673 00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:39,965 That kick in your step when you hopped up, 674 00:30:39,965 --> 00:30:42,301 looking good to go to the set. 675 00:30:42,301 --> 00:30:45,679 I always thought we had something special, Charlie! 676 00:30:45,679 --> 00:30:47,931 So I looked past all the stuff. 677 00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:50,100 Your ego, your self-absorption, 678 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:52,269 your psoriasis elbows. 679 00:30:52,269 --> 00:30:54,813 - You gave me a cream-- - It's not working! 680 00:30:55,397 --> 00:30:57,107 You know, Charlie, 681 00:30:57,107 --> 00:30:59,943 I've been trying to have an open dialogue 682 00:30:59,943 --> 00:31:01,945 about what we both want. 683 00:31:03,322 --> 00:31:06,325 But I'm kidding myself to think you're really ready 684 00:31:06,325 --> 00:31:09,828 to open up to a woman as open as I am. 685 00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:12,706 I tried telling myself you're gonna change, 686 00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:15,125 but I think it might be too late for you. 687 00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:16,710 No. 688 00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:19,671 It's not too late because I have realized 689 00:31:19,671 --> 00:31:21,882 you are Joy... 690 00:31:21,882 --> 00:31:23,675 and joy. 691 00:31:23,675 --> 00:31:26,053 And I can embrace both of you. 692 00:31:26,053 --> 00:31:28,180 And I want to, Joy. 693 00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:30,599 I do. I do. 694 00:31:30,599 --> 00:31:32,518 ♪ 695 00:31:35,896 --> 00:31:37,231 Embrace this. 696 00:31:38,690 --> 00:31:39,691 [plate clatters] 697 00:31:40,817 --> 00:31:42,819 The engagement's off. 698 00:31:48,075 --> 00:31:50,285 [door opens, slams shut] 699 00:31:52,913 --> 00:31:53,914 [door shuts] [lights click] 700 00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,710 Only two other men have seen this before. 701 00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:00,712 ♪ 702 00:32:02,464 --> 00:32:04,800 TOBERT: I was pretty confident going into tonight, 703 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,136 but I did not expect to get all the way to the Murder Board. 704 00:32:08,679 --> 00:32:11,765 - Wow, really? [laughs] - Due diligence. 705 00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:13,767 You really know how to make a guy feel special. 706 00:32:14,726 --> 00:32:16,687 - May I? - Uh, I... 707 00:32:16,687 --> 00:32:18,313 don't know. I'm worried about your handwriting. 708 00:32:18,313 --> 00:32:19,523 You shouldn't be. 709 00:32:21,483 --> 00:32:22,484 MABEL: Well... 710 00:32:22,484 --> 00:32:23,652 ♪ 711 00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:30,576 Look at us. Real-life Rizzoli and Isles over here. 712 00:32:31,743 --> 00:32:33,161 What are you doing? 713 00:32:33,161 --> 00:32:34,663 Following the lead. 714 00:32:40,377 --> 00:32:43,380 ♪ 715 00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:50,345 [distant siren] 716 00:32:53,223 --> 00:32:56,685 I may not be good at dinner... 717 00:32:56,685 --> 00:33:00,397 But you excel at dessert. [soft laugh] 718 00:33:03,901 --> 00:33:05,611 ♪ 719 00:33:05,611 --> 00:33:07,112 [both moan softly] 720 00:33:07,112 --> 00:33:09,823 Shall I draw us a bath? 721 00:33:10,365 --> 00:33:12,367 - OLIVER: You have one in here? - Well, it's... 722 00:33:13,327 --> 00:33:16,455 more of a glorified barrel. [both laugh] 723 00:33:16,455 --> 00:33:18,165 OLIVER: Sounds cozy-wozy. 724 00:33:18,165 --> 00:33:21,168 [Loretta sighs, groans] 725 00:33:25,047 --> 00:33:27,549 [bathroom door opens, shuts] 726 00:33:28,675 --> 00:33:30,677 [water runs] 727 00:33:30,677 --> 00:33:33,680 ♪ 728 00:33:39,478 --> 00:33:41,980 JOY: I will say one other thing about love. 729 00:33:42,731 --> 00:33:44,274 There are times 730 00:33:44,274 --> 00:33:47,528 when you've been totally blinded 731 00:33:47,528 --> 00:33:50,531 by the mirage of your own desires. 732 00:33:50,531 --> 00:33:51,949 Hm. 733 00:33:55,953 --> 00:33:58,956 ♪ vocalizing ♪ 734 00:34:11,218 --> 00:34:14,888 JOY: And when the truth of who you gave your heart to, 735 00:34:14,888 --> 00:34:17,599 of who they really are 736 00:34:17,599 --> 00:34:20,727 is suddenly staring you right in the face? 737 00:34:20,727 --> 00:34:22,479 ♪ 738 00:34:22,479 --> 00:34:25,899 It might be a sign that things just aren't meant to be. 739 00:34:27,067 --> 00:34:28,235 Or worse. 740 00:34:29,444 --> 00:34:33,073 ♪ 741 00:34:38,996 --> 00:34:39,997 LORETTA: Oliver? 742 00:34:39,997 --> 00:34:42,583 [water running] 743 00:34:42,583 --> 00:34:44,835 I'm waiting... 744 00:34:46,587 --> 00:34:49,590 ♪ gentle piano melody playing ♪ 745 00:34:49,590 --> 00:34:51,592 ♪ 51286

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