All language subtitles for Archer s14e08 Breaking Fabian.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,165 --> 00:00:13,203 [soft jazz music] 2 00:00:13,236 --> 00:00:15,206 [bell jingles] 3 00:00:16,610 --> 00:00:18,680 Uh, name? 4 00:00:20,918 --> 00:00:22,722 [screaming] 5 00:00:22,755 --> 00:00:24,358 [Cyril] Oh, my God. 6 00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,195 Well, that's a grim way to start the morning. 7 00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:27,699 With coffee? Seems normal. 8 00:00:27,732 --> 00:00:29,736 With watching an assassination. 9 00:00:29,769 --> 00:00:31,873 Technically, we don't know that it was an assassination. 10 00:00:31,873 --> 00:00:33,911 A drone shot a man in the head! 11 00:00:33,944 --> 00:00:36,349 Which makes it an execution, Cyril. 12 00:00:36,382 --> 00:00:39,221 It's only an assassination if he was famous. 13 00:00:39,254 --> 00:00:40,792 Connor Fairchild, former low-level 14 00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:42,461 security guard at IIA. 15 00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:44,532 Ugh, he was always rude to me. 16 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,737 Well, who can't come in the commissary 17 00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:49,141 without their badge now, Mr. Connor? 18 00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,381 Is that too dark? 19 00:00:52,414 --> 00:00:54,185 Connor is one of a dozen former IIA employees 20 00:00:54,218 --> 00:00:56,590 to be killed by drones in the last 24 hours. 21 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,661 My memory is a little hazy... 22 00:00:58,694 --> 00:01:00,565 Probably from all the concussions. 23 00:01:00,598 --> 00:01:02,635 - And drinking. - And elderly dementia. 24 00:01:02,668 --> 00:01:05,875 My memory is a little hazy, but didn't we beat IIA? 25 00:01:05,908 --> 00:01:07,812 Yes, the organization was dismantled. 26 00:01:07,845 --> 00:01:09,616 But until now, most of the employees 27 00:01:09,649 --> 00:01:11,519 survived, including us. 28 00:01:11,553 --> 00:01:13,323 Technically, I was never an employee. 29 00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:15,460 I always fill out my start paperwork incorrectly 30 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:16,797 so I don't have to pay taxes. 31 00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:19,268 You know that's not how taxes work, right? 32 00:01:19,301 --> 00:01:21,640 All I know is, I haven't paid taxes in 20 years 33 00:01:21,673 --> 00:01:23,510 or gone to the dentist. 34 00:01:23,544 --> 00:01:25,213 My point is, someone has a grudge 35 00:01:25,246 --> 00:01:26,884 against ex-IIA employees. 36 00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:29,422 We need to figure out who that is and stop them. 37 00:01:29,455 --> 00:01:32,361 And until then, we keep our heads on a swivel. 38 00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:34,599 - [Ray] Hmm. - [Lana] Hmm? 39 00:01:34,632 --> 00:01:36,469 Okay, don't shoot the messenger. 40 00:01:36,502 --> 00:01:37,806 That's the drone's job. 41 00:01:37,839 --> 00:01:40,611 But while I was secretly temping at IIA... 42 00:01:40,644 --> 00:01:42,414 - [coughs] Double agent. - Bless you. 43 00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:45,621 Fabian asked me to place an order for, let's call it, 44 00:01:45,654 --> 00:01:47,491 5,000 weaponized smart drones. 45 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:48,694 [all] What? 46 00:01:48,727 --> 00:01:50,698 We don't know that it's related. 47 00:01:50,731 --> 00:01:52,501 But y'all, it's probably related. 48 00:01:52,534 --> 00:01:54,773 Oh, my God, I do not have time for this. 49 00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:57,679 The UN is holding hearings today on private spy agencies, 50 00:01:57,712 --> 00:01:59,348 and I've gotta make a presentation 51 00:01:59,381 --> 00:02:00,885 about all the good work that we've done. 52 00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:02,822 Ooh, I wouldn't show them these videos. 53 00:02:02,855 --> 00:02:05,762 We need to make sure there are no new videos. 54 00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:07,665 And it seems like there's only one person 55 00:02:07,698 --> 00:02:08,898 who can help us sort this out. 56 00:02:09,936 --> 00:02:11,706 The dead barista? 57 00:02:12,642 --> 00:02:17,719 Well, well, well, look what the cat vomited up. 58 00:02:17,752 --> 00:02:20,323 Um, that's not how that goes. 59 00:02:21,325 --> 00:02:23,263 Idiot. 60 00:02:23,296 --> 00:02:26,335 [main title theme] 61 00:02:26,368 --> 00:02:27,029 ? ? 62 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,313 Sterling Archer. You look old. 63 00:03:05,346 --> 00:03:07,752 And you look imprisoned. 64 00:03:07,785 --> 00:03:10,290 [conspiratorial jazz music] 65 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,860 Is that a squash court? 66 00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:14,599 - What kind of prison is this? - Uh, Swiss. 67 00:03:14,632 --> 00:03:17,872 Remind me to get imprisoned for war crimes in Switzerland. 68 00:03:17,905 --> 00:03:21,012 I mean, if I commit war crimes, which I won't. 69 00:03:21,045 --> 00:03:22,749 Can we make this fast? 70 00:03:22,782 --> 00:03:25,487 We can only reserve the courts for an hour. 71 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,424 I don't believe we've met. 72 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,629 Zara Khan, formerly Interpol, currently top agent 73 00:03:29,662 --> 00:03:31,834 - at the Agency. - What? Says who? 74 00:03:31,867 --> 00:03:33,036 My achievements, dumbass. 75 00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:34,606 Can we focus? 76 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:36,342 Any reason why drones might be murdering 77 00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:37,879 everybody who worked for IIA? 78 00:03:37,912 --> 00:03:41,620 What? Oh, no-fault severance. 79 00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:43,489 Should I punch you before or after 80 00:03:43,522 --> 00:03:44,793 you explain what that means? 81 00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:48,366 At IIA, whenever we needed to cut ties 82 00:03:48,399 --> 00:03:50,003 with a troublesome employee, 83 00:03:50,036 --> 00:03:52,074 we'd check a little box in their file 84 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,044 called "no-fault severance." 85 00:03:54,077 --> 00:03:55,882 And pop, out flew a drone. 86 00:03:55,915 --> 00:03:58,621 Whatever second-rate government bureaucrat 87 00:03:58,654 --> 00:04:00,725 that's now liquidating IIA must... 88 00:04:00,758 --> 00:04:02,629 - ow! - I got tired of waiting. 89 00:04:02,662 --> 00:04:04,365 But also, how do we turn them off? 90 00:04:04,398 --> 00:04:05,668 You can't. 91 00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:07,371 The drones are controlled by an automated 92 00:04:07,404 --> 00:04:09,008 facility in Liechtenstein. 93 00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,945 And I'm the only one with access. 94 00:04:10,978 --> 00:04:12,481 Great, you're coming with us. 95 00:04:12,514 --> 00:04:14,886 One, not your call. Two, no, he's not. 96 00:04:14,919 --> 00:04:16,690 Three, what achievements, Zara? 97 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,794 I'm afraid you won't get past 98 00:04:18,827 --> 00:04:20,565 the fingerprint scanner without me. 99 00:04:20,598 --> 00:04:21,934 We will if I cut off your hand. 100 00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,671 Well, there's also a retinal scanner. 101 00:04:23,704 --> 00:04:24,773 And your eye. 102 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,874 And the voice identification... 103 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,377 And your vocal chords. 104 00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,481 At a certain point, bringing him seems easier 105 00:04:29,514 --> 00:04:30,684 than bringing all these pieces. 106 00:04:30,684 --> 00:04:32,054 We'll put them in a bag. 107 00:04:32,087 --> 00:04:35,493 I'm happy to help without being dismembered. 108 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:39,936 As a former IIA employee, I'm a drone target myself. 109 00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:42,541 And I'd prefer to enjoy my daily bike ride 110 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,946 without being gunned down from the sky. 111 00:04:44,979 --> 00:04:46,783 Daily bike ride? 112 00:04:46,816 --> 00:04:49,021 How the hell is your prison life better than my free life? 113 00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:50,523 We still have to break him out. 114 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,427 This is a Swiss prison. 115 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,901 Anyone with Interpol ID can sign me out for the weekend. 116 00:04:57,437 --> 00:04:59,074 Well, God bless Swiss prisons. 117 00:04:59,107 --> 00:05:00,578 Best in the world. 118 00:05:00,611 --> 00:05:02,782 They really focus on rehabilitating 119 00:05:02,815 --> 00:05:04,920 - the whole person, you know? - [handcuffs ratchet] 120 00:05:04,953 --> 00:05:07,424 - What is this? - Insurance. 121 00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:09,562 This stays on until you're back in prison. 122 00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:11,566 The whole mission? What if you gotta take a leak? 123 00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:13,737 - We'll hold it. - A wise precaution. 124 00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:15,473 But will it be enough? 125 00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:18,112 Even now, an army of IIA loyalists 126 00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:21,452 is no doubt working to secure my freedom. 127 00:05:21,485 --> 00:05:23,205 - Hmm. In that case... - [handcuffs ratchet] 128 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,692 I immediately have to pee. 129 00:05:31,071 --> 00:05:34,144 [drone whirring] 130 00:05:35,179 --> 00:05:36,950 Damn it, window seat. 131 00:05:36,983 --> 00:05:38,854 - Pam, go across the aisle. - No! 132 00:05:38,887 --> 00:05:40,123 I'm not taking the window seat 133 00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:41,827 with killer drones on the loose. 134 00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,129 Also, I still have to pee. 135 00:05:43,162 --> 00:05:44,866 Maybe you should have thought about this 136 00:05:44,899 --> 00:05:47,004 before you handcuffed yourself to two people? 137 00:05:47,037 --> 00:05:48,874 Don't tell me what I should have thought of. 138 00:05:48,907 --> 00:05:50,611 But yeah, maybe. 139 00:05:50,644 --> 00:05:53,717 If it's any consolation, we won't be on the train long. 140 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,755 You seriously think people are coming to help you? 141 00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:56,923 Why wouldn't they? 142 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:58,627 Yeah, you know, you weren't 143 00:05:58,660 --> 00:06:00,196 the world's greatest boss, 144 00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:03,036 what with ratting out a lot of people on your way to prison, 145 00:06:03,069 --> 00:06:05,040 and now sending drones to kill 'em. 146 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,177 Yeah, not great. 147 00:06:07,210 --> 00:06:09,014 The board sent those drones. 148 00:06:09,047 --> 00:06:12,154 And I only ratted as necessary. 149 00:06:12,187 --> 00:06:14,491 You can fight about it while I'm in the john. 150 00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:16,528 - Where's the handcuff key? - [laughs] Oh, I don't have one. 151 00:06:16,528 --> 00:06:17,765 What, why? 152 00:06:17,798 --> 00:06:19,501 I'm committing to the method, Pam. 153 00:06:19,534 --> 00:06:21,940 The first thing a rescuer will ask for is a handcuff key. 154 00:06:21,973 --> 00:06:24,511 - Or a bone saw. - No one carries those around. 155 00:06:24,545 --> 00:06:26,650 Fine, I guess we're all going to the bathroom. 156 00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:28,554 Oh, God, no. 157 00:06:28,587 --> 00:06:29,923 I'm not happy about it, either. 158 00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,527 Hey, order us drinks... lots of drinks. 159 00:06:32,561 --> 00:06:34,666 Ooh, what looks good? 160 00:06:34,699 --> 00:06:36,168 [Lana] Ugh, I really don't care. 161 00:06:36,201 --> 00:06:38,206 [Cyril] Well, I do. 162 00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:40,009 It's my first time talking to the United Nations. 163 00:06:40,009 --> 00:06:42,648 Or-or is it before the United Nations? 164 00:06:42,681 --> 00:06:45,520 Do we address the nations? Oh, my God. Lana! 165 00:06:45,554 --> 00:06:47,057 Just let me do the talking, okay? 166 00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:48,927 And relax, all right? 167 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,232 The UN never actually does anything. 168 00:06:51,265 --> 00:06:55,641 I mean, these people are total idiots. [laughs] 169 00:06:55,674 --> 00:06:57,110 Do you need to turn this on or... 170 00:06:57,143 --> 00:06:59,214 It's already on. 171 00:06:59,247 --> 00:07:02,688 [cameras shutters clicking] 172 00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:05,661 Hello, nations. 173 00:07:05,694 --> 00:07:07,064 Nope, that feels wrong. 174 00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:09,101 [Pam] I'm trying my best, you dicks. 175 00:07:09,134 --> 00:07:10,971 I don't think these bathrooms were designed 176 00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:12,575 for three people handcuffed together. 177 00:07:12,608 --> 00:07:14,679 And I don't think sarcasm makes this process faster. 178 00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:16,082 Are you done? 179 00:07:16,115 --> 00:07:18,086 - [Pam] Haven't even started yet. - What? 180 00:07:18,119 --> 00:07:20,156 [Pam] Tell this guy to stop peeking through the cracks! 181 00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:23,731 I can't help where my head is based on where my arms are. 182 00:07:23,764 --> 00:07:26,703 [tense music] 183 00:07:26,736 --> 00:07:31,546 ? ? 184 00:07:31,579 --> 00:07:33,817 Whatever you're doing in there, 185 00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:36,021 I promise there's an easier way. 186 00:07:36,054 --> 00:07:38,025 [Pam] How's this way? 187 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,130 Huh, are we slowing down? 188 00:07:40,163 --> 00:07:42,635 Yes, it's the end of the line. 189 00:07:42,668 --> 00:07:44,973 Carlotta, my loyal number two, 190 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:48,246 come to my unnecessary but grateful res... 191 00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:50,159 - Someone's in here! - We gotta get out of here! 192 00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:52,989 After Pamela washes her hands. 193 00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:54,826 I didn't touch anything. 194 00:07:54,859 --> 00:07:56,730 Carlotta, watch your fire. 195 00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:59,602 She's shooting at you, moron. Come on. 196 00:07:59,635 --> 00:08:02,742 - [grunts] what's the problem? - I'm not leaving. 197 00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:04,579 You got three seconds, asshole. 198 00:08:04,612 --> 00:08:06,048 And I'm shooting your elbow in one. 199 00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:08,921 Okay, okay. Carlotta, they're trying to... 200 00:08:08,954 --> 00:08:11,224 [all grunting] 201 00:08:13,295 --> 00:08:15,801 - [Archer] You're welcome. - For what? 202 00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:18,640 - For rescuing you. - They were rescuing me. 203 00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:21,078 What? They were trying to kill you. 204 00:08:21,111 --> 00:08:23,784 Says the man who pulled me out of a moving train. 205 00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,888 Well, you're alive, aren't you? 206 00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:28,059 Guys, I don't think this tree is... 207 00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,998 [all screaming] 208 00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:32,266 Nope, it's not. 209 00:08:37,277 --> 00:08:39,214 They were obviously trying to assassinate you. 210 00:08:39,247 --> 00:08:42,922 What possible reason would my employees have to kill me? 211 00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:44,291 I think we're clear for now. 212 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,661 Uh, how about, you made their lives miserable 213 00:08:45,661 --> 00:08:47,230 and they hate you? 214 00:08:47,263 --> 00:08:50,403 The brightest emerald is forged in the hardest granite. 215 00:08:50,436 --> 00:08:52,708 Hey, can we focus on the real problem? 216 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,044 Being lost in the woods? 217 00:08:54,077 --> 00:08:56,382 Hmm, the ex-IIA hit squad coming for us? 218 00:08:56,415 --> 00:08:58,319 - The drones? - Oh, right. 219 00:08:58,352 --> 00:09:00,323 Yeah, and if that hit squad... 220 00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:01,960 AKA rescue squad. 221 00:09:01,993 --> 00:09:04,064 AKA, you're delusional. 222 00:09:04,097 --> 00:09:05,734 If the hit squad kills Fabian, 223 00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:07,037 he can't deactivate the drones, 224 00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:08,674 and they'll kill all of us. 225 00:09:08,707 --> 00:09:11,178 So by the transitive property, 226 00:09:11,211 --> 00:09:13,049 you must keep me alive. 227 00:09:13,082 --> 00:09:14,886 That's not the transitive property. 228 00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:17,023 It's a contrapositive conditional. 229 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,894 Well, on the bright side, Ray and Zara 230 00:09:18,927 --> 00:09:20,229 are probably already coming for us. 231 00:09:20,229 --> 00:09:22,067 [Ray] Oh, my God! 232 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,071 Look at those mountains. 233 00:09:24,104 --> 00:09:26,175 - Um, Zara? - [Zara gulps, gasps] 234 00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:28,045 The drinks on this train are free. 235 00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:29,749 I got one for you, but then I drank it. 236 00:09:29,782 --> 00:09:31,653 These are for me. 237 00:09:31,686 --> 00:09:33,055 Hey, whenever y'all are done whispering 238 00:09:33,055 --> 00:09:35,326 and pointing at shit, can you bring me a mimosa? 239 00:09:35,359 --> 00:09:36,663 [plates clatter] 240 00:09:36,696 --> 00:09:38,266 Um, where are they going? 241 00:09:38,299 --> 00:09:40,169 [Pam] To Liechtenstein! 242 00:09:40,202 --> 00:09:42,240 We're walking to another country? 243 00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:43,911 Unless you have a better idea. 244 00:09:43,944 --> 00:09:45,681 Uh, yeah, let the drones kill us. 245 00:09:45,714 --> 00:09:47,417 I have an even better idea. 246 00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:49,923 I defeat you in unarmed combat 247 00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:52,427 and reunite with my cadre of faithfuls. 248 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:54,866 Get your hand off my wrist. 249 00:09:54,899 --> 00:09:59,174 I believe the parlance is, compel me, brother. 250 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,378 Can you not while I'm attached to you? 251 00:10:01,411 --> 00:10:03,684 [drone whirring] 252 00:10:03,717 --> 00:10:05,720 Any chance that's a totally unrelated drone? 253 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,694 I mean, some. 254 00:10:08,727 --> 00:10:09,762 Run! 255 00:10:09,795 --> 00:10:11,832 [all screaming] 256 00:10:14,104 --> 00:10:16,242 Can we please stop falling off things? 257 00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:18,045 Oh, boy, they're coming. 258 00:10:18,078 --> 00:10:20,149 Fabian, I hope you can hold your breath for three minutes 259 00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:22,320 because that's how long I'm holding you underwater. 260 00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,857 That won't work, I'm afraid. 261 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,128 These drones are top of the line. 262 00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:29,368 They cannot be fooled by water or darkness or disguise. 263 00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:31,873 They are relentless and unbamboozable. 264 00:10:31,906 --> 00:10:33,542 Maybe use a less silly word for the drones 265 00:10:33,542 --> 00:10:35,046 - coming to kill us. - Screw the words. 266 00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:36,448 What do we do? 267 00:10:36,481 --> 00:10:38,486 Make peace with the god you choose, 268 00:10:38,519 --> 00:10:40,791 for the day of judgment is at hand. 269 00:10:40,824 --> 00:10:43,328 [drone beeping and whirring] 270 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,304 [laughs] We're alive! 271 00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:49,341 Uh, although, I guess this could also be hell. 272 00:10:49,374 --> 00:10:50,778 What just happened? 273 00:10:50,811 --> 00:10:52,414 My guess, Ray bought shitty drones 274 00:10:52,447 --> 00:10:54,151 that couldn't detect us through the mud. 275 00:10:54,184 --> 00:10:56,756 But he spent the entire drone budget. 276 00:10:57,992 --> 00:10:59,194 Oh, what they don't know 277 00:10:59,227 --> 00:11:00,964 can't kill them won't kill them. 278 00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,804 [robot] More daiquiri, Mr. Gillette? 279 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,808 What do you think, dummy? 280 00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:08,947 Oi, more of these and these and some crisps, yeah? 281 00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:11,418 For me and those snobs across the aisle 282 00:11:11,451 --> 00:11:13,222 who clearly think they're better than me. 283 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,093 And how long does it take three people 284 00:11:15,126 --> 00:11:17,530 handcuffed together to use the bathroom? 285 00:11:17,564 --> 00:11:21,171 [Cyril] Um, this doesn't feel administrative. 286 00:11:21,204 --> 00:11:24,411 Secretary General Hernandez, a pleasure, as always. 287 00:11:24,444 --> 00:11:27,283 [clears throat] I wish I could say the same. 288 00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:28,920 Yeah, what's the deal here, guys? 289 00:11:28,953 --> 00:11:31,125 I thought this was basically a meet-and-greet. 290 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,095 This is a disciplinary hearing 291 00:11:33,128 --> 00:11:35,834 to determine if independent spy agencies 292 00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:39,408 will be allowed to continue operating on the global stage. 293 00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:41,445 What? And you're telling me now? 294 00:11:41,478 --> 00:11:43,249 [Hernandez] I told your secretary. 295 00:11:43,282 --> 00:11:45,520 [Cheryl] Uh, I'm an office administrator. 296 00:11:45,554 --> 00:11:47,524 Cheryl, what are you doing here? 297 00:11:47,558 --> 00:11:49,127 I'm a surprise witness. 298 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,831 A surprise witness for what? 299 00:11:50,864 --> 00:11:52,033 The United Nations. 300 00:11:52,066 --> 00:11:53,570 We're in their house, silly. 301 00:11:53,603 --> 00:11:55,406 So the surprise is against us? 302 00:11:55,439 --> 00:11:57,344 Well, they offered me immunity. 303 00:11:57,377 --> 00:11:59,147 Immunity from what? 304 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:00,984 We haven't done anything wrong. 305 00:12:01,017 --> 00:12:04,224 - Well... - Nothing legally wrong. 306 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,495 Oh, my God, Lana, when someone offers you immunity, 307 00:12:06,528 --> 00:12:08,366 you take it. [laughs] 308 00:12:08,399 --> 00:12:10,169 And all I had to do was tell him all the bad things 309 00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:11,305 we ever did ever. 310 00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:12,575 Shall we begin? 311 00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:14,311 - [Archer] No. - [Pam] No? 312 00:12:14,344 --> 00:12:15,547 [Archer] No! You already had your chance 313 00:12:15,547 --> 00:12:17,217 to pee on the train. 314 00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:18,610 My chance to pee with the door open 315 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,256 that got interrupted by a gunfight. 316 00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:21,492 More than some people get. 317 00:12:21,525 --> 00:12:23,229 Do those people also have to hold it 318 00:12:23,262 --> 00:12:25,366 while falling out of a moving train 319 00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,279 and then slogging through a river covered in mud 320 00:12:27,303 --> 00:12:28,607 that they can't clean off 321 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,410 or a cheap-ass drone will come and kill them? 322 00:12:30,443 --> 00:12:32,147 I also have to pee. 323 00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:35,153 Don't worry. You'll be peeing very soon. 324 00:12:35,186 --> 00:12:37,090 Carlotta, thank goodness. 325 00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,296 Tell my friends you're here to rescue me and then kill them. 326 00:12:40,329 --> 00:12:42,367 Rescue? I'm here to kill you. 327 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,071 You, them? 328 00:12:44,104 --> 00:12:46,609 You as in you, you pompous, abusive, 329 00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,947 culturally ambiguous middle manager. 330 00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:50,349 Middle manager? 331 00:12:50,382 --> 00:12:52,287 I led the company! 332 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,857 That's what you got from that? 333 00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:55,861 Jesus, this is why everyone hates you. 334 00:12:55,894 --> 00:12:58,600 Carlotta, I assure you, I did my best. 335 00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:01,405 Anything you disagreed with, that was the board. 336 00:13:01,438 --> 00:13:02,975 There was no board! 337 00:13:03,008 --> 00:13:05,446 You just made them up to have someone to blame 338 00:13:05,479 --> 00:13:07,250 for all your bad choices. 339 00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:09,287 Whoa, that's actually a good idea. 340 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,327 Technically, the board did exist for a week. 341 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,563 And then had them killed. 342 00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:15,199 Tell them I say hello. 343 00:13:15,232 --> 00:13:17,003 Wait, he's the only one who can stop the drones 344 00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:18,372 that are coming to kill us all. 345 00:13:18,405 --> 00:13:19,441 I'll take that risk. 346 00:13:19,474 --> 00:13:21,345 [gunfire] 347 00:13:21,378 --> 00:13:24,184 - Ow! God damn it. - Sorry. 348 00:13:24,217 --> 00:13:26,021 [tense music] 349 00:13:26,054 --> 00:13:28,225 [drones whirring] 350 00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:29,360 [Carlotta] Take it down! 351 00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:35,574 What the hell, Archer? 352 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,076 Sorry, it was instinct. 353 00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:38,212 To save me? 354 00:13:38,245 --> 00:13:40,082 God, no, to save the mission. 355 00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:42,621 Um, guys, do I have as little mud on my face 356 00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:44,157 as you do on yours? 357 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,295 How could I possibly make that comparison? 358 00:13:46,328 --> 00:13:47,598 [drone beeping and whirring] 359 00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:48,633 [Pam] Go! 360 00:13:50,369 --> 00:13:51,371 [all screaming] 361 00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:57,217 Okay, state your name for the record. 362 00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,054 - Uh, pass. - [Hernandez] What? 363 00:13:59,087 --> 00:14:00,490 I just prefer not to. 364 00:14:00,523 --> 00:14:02,527 - You understand. - I don't. 365 00:14:02,561 --> 00:14:05,266 Well, the surprise witness is surprising the surprisers. 366 00:14:05,299 --> 00:14:06,703 No one at the office is answering. 367 00:14:06,736 --> 00:14:08,172 We are not ready for this. 368 00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:09,440 Lana, our record speaks for itself. 369 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,711 We do good in the world. 370 00:14:10,744 --> 00:14:12,247 And Cheryl is wearing them down. 371 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,050 State your name for the record! 372 00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:16,255 Let's just move on to the evidence. 373 00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:19,294 Can you confirm that this is the work of the Agency? 374 00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,465 [Cheryl] Yep. Uh-huh. 375 00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:22,668 Uh, probably. 376 00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:24,471 [laughs] Yeah. 377 00:14:24,504 --> 00:14:27,578 In our defense, that was full of hydrogen. 378 00:14:27,611 --> 00:14:29,414 Oh, God, I was wrong about our record. 379 00:14:29,447 --> 00:14:31,418 - We're monsters. - Can you not? 380 00:14:31,451 --> 00:14:33,122 [Pam] Not what? 381 00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:35,627 Pam, can you not look at me while we're doing this? 382 00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:37,297 You choose the handcuffs. 383 00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:40,102 I chose where I look. Boi-oi-oing. 384 00:14:40,135 --> 00:14:41,538 [Fabian] They all hate me. 385 00:14:41,572 --> 00:14:42,708 After everything I did for them. 386 00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,344 [laughs] Okay. 387 00:14:44,377 --> 00:14:46,248 On the bright side, we made it to Liechtenstein. 388 00:14:46,248 --> 00:14:48,219 Pants up and never speak of this on three. 389 00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:50,056 One, two, three. 390 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,593 Hey, I hear cars that way. 391 00:14:51,626 --> 00:14:53,429 - We can find a ride. - [Fabian grunts] 392 00:14:53,462 --> 00:14:55,266 Seriously? We're almost there. 393 00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:56,501 What are you doing, Fabian? 394 00:14:56,534 --> 00:14:58,272 I'm giving up. 395 00:14:58,305 --> 00:14:59,642 Let the drones take me. 396 00:14:59,675 --> 00:15:03,182 For what is life without the respect of my peers? 397 00:15:03,215 --> 00:15:05,119 Hey, bud, you have my respect. 398 00:15:05,152 --> 00:15:07,156 [Fabian] I don't really care about that. 399 00:15:07,189 --> 00:15:09,762 [somber music] 400 00:15:09,795 --> 00:15:12,400 ? ? 401 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:15,239 - You have my respect, Fabian. - Really? 402 00:15:15,272 --> 00:15:17,243 Yeah, you know, I still hate you, 403 00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:19,414 but you're a semi-worthy adversary. 404 00:15:19,447 --> 00:15:21,418 I feel the same way. 405 00:15:21,451 --> 00:15:24,357 In spite of everything, we're not so different. 406 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,729 No, I didn't say that. We're very, very different. 407 00:15:26,762 --> 00:15:30,571 You handcuffed us together so we could bond. 408 00:15:30,604 --> 00:15:34,511 Two lone wolves, learning to survive as a pack. 409 00:15:34,545 --> 00:15:36,481 [howls] 410 00:15:36,514 --> 00:15:38,519 I'm coming around to death by drone. 411 00:15:38,553 --> 00:15:40,456 Oh, shit, I hear something else coming around. 412 00:15:40,489 --> 00:15:43,329 [motorcycles rumbling] 413 00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:45,266 [Archer] Ha, ha, found our ride. 414 00:15:45,299 --> 00:15:47,103 You mean the guys that wanna kill us? 415 00:15:47,136 --> 00:15:49,040 I have an idea. 416 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,443 [dramatic music] 417 00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:51,746 [motorcyclist growls] 418 00:15:51,779 --> 00:15:54,351 [engine revving] 419 00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:56,221 [Fabian] You've been got... oh! 420 00:15:57,223 --> 00:16:00,463 [Pam laughs] Oh, damn, dude, that just popped right off. 421 00:16:00,496 --> 00:16:02,200 Why was his neck so weak? 422 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:04,639 More importantly, how are we all fitting on this thing? 423 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,811 [birds cawing] 424 00:16:07,844 --> 00:16:10,182 - Hang on. - It's a short drive. 425 00:16:10,215 --> 00:16:12,387 Yeah, it better be. 426 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:14,324 Oh, God, crows are pecking at the head. 427 00:16:14,357 --> 00:16:16,361 [vomits] 428 00:16:16,394 --> 00:16:18,465 I forgive you, friend. 429 00:16:18,498 --> 00:16:20,236 Great, 'cause I'm about to do it again. 430 00:16:20,269 --> 00:16:22,273 [vomiting] 431 00:16:26,147 --> 00:16:29,521 [jaunty polka music] 432 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,527 Champagne to go. I mean, who does that? 433 00:16:32,561 --> 00:16:33,763 Switzerland does it. 434 00:16:33,796 --> 00:16:35,299 Can you believe the others spent 435 00:16:35,332 --> 00:16:37,503 the entire ride in the toilet? 436 00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:40,811 I did until a second ago. 437 00:16:40,844 --> 00:16:44,752 [gunfire] 438 00:16:44,785 --> 00:16:46,154 - We're close. - How close? 439 00:16:46,187 --> 00:16:47,758 Time or distance? 440 00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:48,860 Will we die before we get there? 441 00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:50,764 That depends on one thing: 442 00:16:50,797 --> 00:16:53,168 the intimacy of our friendship. 443 00:16:53,201 --> 00:16:55,574 Can you not say stuff like that while we're penis to penis? 444 00:16:55,607 --> 00:16:56,843 Just say nose to nose. 445 00:16:56,876 --> 00:16:59,147 [tense music] 446 00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,784 [grunts] 447 00:17:00,817 --> 00:17:03,322 I was born to an Albanian seamstress. 448 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,126 It was a breech birth. 449 00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:07,698 For my fifth birthday, I was gifted a kitten by my uncle 450 00:17:07,731 --> 00:17:10,570 but gave it up upon discovering a mild allergy. 451 00:17:10,603 --> 00:17:11,723 What the hell are you doing? 452 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,843 [Fabian] Bonding by sharing traumas. 453 00:17:13,876 --> 00:17:16,515 You call those traumas? I never knew my father. 454 00:17:16,549 --> 00:17:19,187 My mother started me drinking at eight to keep me quiet. 455 00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:22,460 I lost my virginity and my dog to a Brazilian au pair. 456 00:17:22,493 --> 00:17:25,801 My archrival killed and later dated my one true love. 457 00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:27,838 Thank you for sharing. I see you. 458 00:17:27,871 --> 00:17:29,474 I wasn't connecting. 459 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:30,711 I was one-upping. 460 00:17:30,744 --> 00:17:31,405 ? ? 461 00:17:41,932 --> 00:17:44,237 Damn it, probably shouldn't have handcuffed my gun hand. 462 00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,241 I can help. Give me a gun. 463 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,546 Better idea, I'll just shoot myself in the face 464 00:17:48,579 --> 00:17:49,682 and cut out the middleman. 465 00:17:49,715 --> 00:17:51,451 Sterling, trust me. 466 00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:54,725 We're all about to die. Just give him the damn gun. 467 00:17:54,758 --> 00:17:56,260 Ugh. 468 00:17:58,365 --> 00:17:59,835 Bang, bang. 469 00:17:59,868 --> 00:18:01,739 Just kidding, my friend. 470 00:18:01,772 --> 00:18:02,433 ? ? 471 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,258 - [gun clicks] - I'm out. 472 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,895 - [Pam] We're here. - Brake! 473 00:18:12,928 --> 00:18:14,497 [tires squeal] 474 00:18:16,234 --> 00:18:17,938 [Fabian] Oh, dear God. 475 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,209 What is happening with necks in this country? 476 00:18:20,242 --> 00:18:21,511 [Pam] We've got bigger problems. 477 00:18:21,545 --> 00:18:23,883 Specifically, lots of smaller problems. 478 00:18:23,916 --> 00:18:27,891 [drones whirring] 479 00:18:27,924 --> 00:18:30,630 - Are those... - The good drones. 480 00:18:30,663 --> 00:18:34,370 [drones beeping and whirring] 481 00:18:34,403 --> 00:18:37,778 [gunfire] 482 00:18:37,811 --> 00:18:42,520 Well, if I have to die, I'm glad it's next to friends. 483 00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:44,190 Stop making this something it's not. 484 00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:48,331 Damn it, who buys a drone with knives? 485 00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:53,843 - [glass shatters] - [explosion] 486 00:18:53,876 --> 00:18:55,413 The same person with two thumbs 487 00:18:55,446 --> 00:18:58,385 and no more champagne... this guy. 488 00:18:58,418 --> 00:19:01,224 I am still drunk from the train. 489 00:19:01,257 --> 00:19:03,529 Get inside and deactivate these fuckers. 490 00:19:03,563 --> 00:19:05,700 - [Cyril] Not cool. - [Hernandez] Excuse me? 491 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,403 What are you doing? 492 00:19:07,436 --> 00:19:08,940 Speaking truth to power. 493 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,811 And the truth is, this isn't cool. 494 00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:12,681 You called us in here for an ambush. 495 00:19:12,714 --> 00:19:15,821 Mr. Figgis, this is a fact-finding meeting. 496 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,925 Oh, yeah, with quorum of member states 497 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:19,728 as required to adopt a resolution, 498 00:19:19,761 --> 00:19:21,531 per the UN rules of procedure? 499 00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:24,404 That's what I thought. You're grandstanding. 500 00:19:24,437 --> 00:19:25,607 You already know what you plan to do. 501 00:19:25,607 --> 00:19:28,312 But guess what? We're the Agency. 502 00:19:28,345 --> 00:19:32,386 We're used to ambushes and bad odds and terrible situations. 503 00:19:32,419 --> 00:19:34,523 [gunfire] 504 00:19:37,463 --> 00:19:39,702 That's where we thrive... 505 00:19:39,735 --> 00:19:40,770 because we're not just the front lines. 506 00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:41,905 We're a step beyond that. 507 00:19:45,345 --> 00:19:48,586 If we do our job right, there never is a front line. 508 00:19:48,619 --> 00:19:50,757 So you can look at the screen and see our failures, sure. 509 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:51,859 What the? 510 00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:53,462 But the world you're living in, 511 00:19:53,495 --> 00:19:55,466 the world you're living in right now, 512 00:19:55,499 --> 00:19:57,303 that is our success. 513 00:19:57,336 --> 00:19:58,304 - [yelps] - [explosion] 514 00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:02,748 I tried. Your turn. 515 00:20:02,781 --> 00:20:04,350 I don't have a gun. 516 00:20:04,383 --> 00:20:06,021 You can't shoot me! 517 00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:08,424 I never filled out my starting paperwork! 518 00:20:09,728 --> 00:20:10,864 [screams] 519 00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:11,558 ? ? 520 00:20:17,042 --> 00:20:18,278 You're welcome. 521 00:20:21,484 --> 00:20:23,455 What the hell happened? 522 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,594 The door only allows one person through at a time. 523 00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:27,330 Getting pretty droney out here. 524 00:20:27,363 --> 00:20:29,033 How do I deactivate the drones? 525 00:20:29,066 --> 00:20:31,638 You can't, not without my handprint for the scanner. 526 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:38,653 We almost made it all the way, didn't we, friend? 527 00:20:38,686 --> 00:20:40,624 I couldn't have made it this far without you. 528 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,493 But I've got it from here, friend. 529 00:20:42,526 --> 00:20:43,763 [grunts] 530 00:20:43,796 --> 00:20:46,736 Ow! What the shit? 531 00:20:46,769 --> 00:20:48,505 [Archer] Thanks for the hand, friend. 532 00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:49,875 [laughs] 533 00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:51,612 [computer] Protocol deactivated. 534 00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:57,925 [drone powers down] 535 00:20:57,958 --> 00:21:00,764 So how we all feeling? 536 00:21:00,797 --> 00:21:02,400 [Archer] Better than Fabian. 537 00:21:02,433 --> 00:21:04,838 Can you believe he doesn't wanna be friends anymore? 538 00:21:04,871 --> 00:21:07,109 - You cut off his hand. - For a good cause. 539 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,613 And I gave it back to him. 540 00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:10,082 After you shot him the bird with it. 541 00:21:10,115 --> 00:21:11,518 That was Zara's idea. 542 00:21:11,552 --> 00:21:13,388 - [laughs] And it was hilarious. - Thanks. 543 00:21:13,421 --> 00:21:15,025 It's not my first dismemberment. 544 00:21:15,058 --> 00:21:16,696 Going forward, no more cutting off hands 545 00:21:16,729 --> 00:21:18,532 and taunting people with them. 546 00:21:18,566 --> 00:21:20,535 The UN came after us today, but we really dodged a bullet 547 00:21:20,535 --> 00:21:22,540 by saving them from bullets. 548 00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:24,812 I just wanna say I was only siding 549 00:21:24,845 --> 00:21:26,448 with the UN for immunity. 550 00:21:26,481 --> 00:21:27,851 Yeah, you told us. 551 00:21:27,884 --> 00:21:29,588 Oh, no. Uh, guys? 552 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,101 [Hernandez] In light of recent events, 553 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,395 it is with overwhelming support 554 00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:36,134 from our member nations that this council votes 555 00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:39,107 to declare all private independent 556 00:21:39,140 --> 00:21:41,846 spy agencies illegal. 557 00:21:41,879 --> 00:21:45,085 They will be given 30 days to disband. 558 00:21:45,118 --> 00:21:46,354 [all gasp] 559 00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:52,065 Is that 30 calendar days or business days? 560 00:21:53,602 --> 00:21:55,071 [sighs] God damn it. 561 00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:57,269 ? ? 562 00:22:15,847 --> 00:22:18,953 Made in Georgia. 563 00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:23,553 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40572

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