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1
00:00:11,165 --> 00:00:13,203
[soft jazz music]
2
00:00:13,236 --> 00:00:15,206
[bell jingles]
3
00:00:16,610 --> 00:00:18,680
Uh, name?
4
00:00:20,918 --> 00:00:22,722
[screaming]
5
00:00:22,755 --> 00:00:24,358
[Cyril] Oh, my God.
6
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,195
Well, that's a grim way
to start the morning.
7
00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:27,699
With coffee? Seems normal.
8
00:00:27,732 --> 00:00:29,736
With watching an assassination.
9
00:00:29,769 --> 00:00:31,873
Technically, we don't know
that it was an assassination.
10
00:00:31,873 --> 00:00:33,911
A drone shot a man in the head!
11
00:00:33,944 --> 00:00:36,349
Which makes it an
execution, Cyril.
12
00:00:36,382 --> 00:00:39,221
It's only an assassination
if he was famous.
13
00:00:39,254 --> 00:00:40,792
Connor Fairchild,
former low-level
14
00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:42,461
security guard at IIA.
15
00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:44,532
Ugh, he was always rude to me.
16
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,737
Well, who can't come
in the commissary
17
00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:49,141
without their badge
now, Mr. Connor?
18
00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,381
Is that too dark?
19
00:00:52,414 --> 00:00:54,185
Connor is one of a dozen
former IIA employees
20
00:00:54,218 --> 00:00:56,590
to be killed by drones
in the last 24 hours.
21
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,661
My memory is a little hazy...
22
00:00:58,694 --> 00:01:00,565
Probably from all
the concussions.
23
00:01:00,598 --> 00:01:02,635
- And drinking.
- And elderly dementia.
24
00:01:02,668 --> 00:01:05,875
My memory is a little hazy,
but didn't we beat IIA?
25
00:01:05,908 --> 00:01:07,812
Yes, the organization
was dismantled.
26
00:01:07,845 --> 00:01:09,616
But until now, most
of the employees
27
00:01:09,649 --> 00:01:11,519
survived, including us.
28
00:01:11,553 --> 00:01:13,323
Technically, I was
never an employee.
29
00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:15,460
I always fill out my start
paperwork incorrectly
30
00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:16,797
so I don't have to pay taxes.
31
00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:19,268
You know that's not
how taxes work, right?
32
00:01:19,301 --> 00:01:21,640
All I know is, I haven't
paid taxes in 20 years
33
00:01:21,673 --> 00:01:23,510
or gone to the dentist.
34
00:01:23,544 --> 00:01:25,213
My point is,
someone has a grudge
35
00:01:25,246 --> 00:01:26,884
against ex-IIA employees.
36
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:29,422
We need to figure out who
that is and stop them.
37
00:01:29,455 --> 00:01:32,361
And until then, we keep
our heads on a swivel.
38
00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:34,599
- [Ray] Hmm.
- [Lana] Hmm?
39
00:01:34,632 --> 00:01:36,469
Okay, don't shoot the messenger.
40
00:01:36,502 --> 00:01:37,806
That's the drone's job.
41
00:01:37,839 --> 00:01:40,611
But while I was secretly
temping at IIA...
42
00:01:40,644 --> 00:01:42,414
- [coughs] Double agent.
- Bless you.
43
00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:45,621
Fabian asked me to place an
order for, let's call it,
44
00:01:45,654 --> 00:01:47,491
5,000 weaponized smart drones.
45
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:48,694
[all] What?
46
00:01:48,727 --> 00:01:50,698
We don't know that it's related.
47
00:01:50,731 --> 00:01:52,501
But y'all, it's
probably related.
48
00:01:52,534 --> 00:01:54,773
Oh, my God, I do not
have time for this.
49
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:57,679
The UN is holding hearings
today on private spy agencies,
50
00:01:57,712 --> 00:01:59,348
and I've gotta
make a presentation
51
00:01:59,381 --> 00:02:00,885
about all the good
work that we've done.
52
00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:02,822
Ooh, I wouldn't show
them these videos.
53
00:02:02,855 --> 00:02:05,762
We need to make sure
there are no new videos.
54
00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:07,665
And it seems like
there's only one person
55
00:02:07,698 --> 00:02:08,898
who can help us sort this out.
56
00:02:09,936 --> 00:02:11,706
The dead barista?
57
00:02:12,642 --> 00:02:17,719
Well, well, well, look
what the cat vomited up.
58
00:02:17,752 --> 00:02:20,323
Um, that's not how that goes.
59
00:02:21,325 --> 00:02:23,263
Idiot.
60
00:02:23,296 --> 00:02:26,335
[main title theme]
61
00:02:26,368 --> 00:02:27,029
? ?
62
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,313
Sterling Archer. You look old.
63
00:03:05,346 --> 00:03:07,752
And you look imprisoned.
64
00:03:07,785 --> 00:03:10,290
[conspiratorial jazz music]
65
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,860
Is that a squash court?
66
00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:14,599
- What kind of prison is this?
- Uh, Swiss.
67
00:03:14,632 --> 00:03:17,872
Remind me to get imprisoned
for war crimes in Switzerland.
68
00:03:17,905 --> 00:03:21,012
I mean, if I commit war
crimes, which I won't.
69
00:03:21,045 --> 00:03:22,749
Can we make this fast?
70
00:03:22,782 --> 00:03:25,487
We can only reserve
the courts for an hour.
71
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,424
I don't believe we've met.
72
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,629
Zara Khan, formerly
Interpol, currently top agent
73
00:03:29,662 --> 00:03:31,834
- at the Agency.
- What? Says who?
74
00:03:31,867 --> 00:03:33,036
My achievements, dumbass.
75
00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:34,606
Can we focus?
76
00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:36,342
Any reason why drones
might be murdering
77
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:37,879
everybody who worked for IIA?
78
00:03:37,912 --> 00:03:41,620
What? Oh, no-fault severance.
79
00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:43,489
Should I punch you
before or after
80
00:03:43,522 --> 00:03:44,793
you explain what that means?
81
00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:48,366
At IIA, whenever we
needed to cut ties
82
00:03:48,399 --> 00:03:50,003
with a troublesome employee,
83
00:03:50,036 --> 00:03:52,074
we'd check a little
box in their file
84
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,044
called "no-fault severance."
85
00:03:54,077 --> 00:03:55,882
And pop, out flew a drone.
86
00:03:55,915 --> 00:03:58,621
Whatever second-rate
government bureaucrat
87
00:03:58,654 --> 00:04:00,725
that's now liquidating
IIA must...
88
00:04:00,758 --> 00:04:02,629
- ow!
- I got tired of waiting.
89
00:04:02,662 --> 00:04:04,365
But also, how do
we turn them off?
90
00:04:04,398 --> 00:04:05,668
You can't.
91
00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:07,371
The drones are controlled
by an automated
92
00:04:07,404 --> 00:04:09,008
facility in Liechtenstein.
93
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,945
And I'm the only
one with access.
94
00:04:10,978 --> 00:04:12,481
Great, you're coming with us.
95
00:04:12,514 --> 00:04:14,886
One, not your call.
Two, no, he's not.
96
00:04:14,919 --> 00:04:16,690
Three, what achievements, Zara?
97
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,794
I'm afraid you won't get past
98
00:04:18,827 --> 00:04:20,565
the fingerprint
scanner without me.
99
00:04:20,598 --> 00:04:21,934
We will if I cut off your hand.
100
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,671
Well, there's also
a retinal scanner.
101
00:04:23,704 --> 00:04:24,773
And your eye.
102
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,874
And the voice identification...
103
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,377
And your vocal chords.
104
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,481
At a certain point,
bringing him seems easier
105
00:04:29,514 --> 00:04:30,684
than bringing all these pieces.
106
00:04:30,684 --> 00:04:32,054
We'll put them in a bag.
107
00:04:32,087 --> 00:04:35,493
I'm happy to help without
being dismembered.
108
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:39,936
As a former IIA employee,
I'm a drone target myself.
109
00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:42,541
And I'd prefer to enjoy
my daily bike ride
110
00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,946
without being gunned
down from the sky.
111
00:04:44,979 --> 00:04:46,783
Daily bike ride?
112
00:04:46,816 --> 00:04:49,021
How the hell is your prison
life better than my free life?
113
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:50,523
We still have to break him out.
114
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,427
This is a Swiss prison.
115
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,901
Anyone with Interpol ID can
sign me out for the weekend.
116
00:04:57,437 --> 00:04:59,074
Well, God bless Swiss prisons.
117
00:04:59,107 --> 00:05:00,578
Best in the world.
118
00:05:00,611 --> 00:05:02,782
They really focus
on rehabilitating
119
00:05:02,815 --> 00:05:04,920
- the whole person, you know?
- [handcuffs ratchet]
120
00:05:04,953 --> 00:05:07,424
- What is this?
- Insurance.
121
00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:09,562
This stays on until
you're back in prison.
122
00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:11,566
The whole mission? What
if you gotta take a leak?
123
00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:13,737
- We'll hold it.
- A wise precaution.
124
00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:15,473
But will it be enough?
125
00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:18,112
Even now, an army
of IIA loyalists
126
00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:21,452
is no doubt working
to secure my freedom.
127
00:05:21,485 --> 00:05:23,205
- Hmm. In that case...
- [handcuffs ratchet]
128
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,692
I immediately have to pee.
129
00:05:31,071 --> 00:05:34,144
[drone whirring]
130
00:05:35,179 --> 00:05:36,950
Damn it, window seat.
131
00:05:36,983 --> 00:05:38,854
- Pam, go across the aisle.
- No!
132
00:05:38,887 --> 00:05:40,123
I'm not taking the window seat
133
00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:41,827
with killer drones on the loose.
134
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,129
Also, I still have to pee.
135
00:05:43,162 --> 00:05:44,866
Maybe you should have
thought about this
136
00:05:44,899 --> 00:05:47,004
before you handcuffed
yourself to two people?
137
00:05:47,037 --> 00:05:48,874
Don't tell me what I
should have thought of.
138
00:05:48,907 --> 00:05:50,611
But yeah, maybe.
139
00:05:50,644 --> 00:05:53,717
If it's any consolation, we
won't be on the train long.
140
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,755
You seriously think people
are coming to help you?
141
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:56,923
Why wouldn't they?
142
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:58,627
Yeah, you know, you weren't
143
00:05:58,660 --> 00:06:00,196
the world's greatest boss,
144
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:03,036
what with ratting out a lot of
people on your way to prison,
145
00:06:03,069 --> 00:06:05,040
and now sending
drones to kill 'em.
146
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,177
Yeah, not great.
147
00:06:07,210 --> 00:06:09,014
The board sent those drones.
148
00:06:09,047 --> 00:06:12,154
And I only ratted as necessary.
149
00:06:12,187 --> 00:06:14,491
You can fight about it
while I'm in the john.
150
00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:16,528
- Where's the handcuff key?
- [laughs] Oh, I don't have one.
151
00:06:16,528 --> 00:06:17,765
What, why?
152
00:06:17,798 --> 00:06:19,501
I'm committing to
the method, Pam.
153
00:06:19,534 --> 00:06:21,940
The first thing a rescuer will
ask for is a handcuff key.
154
00:06:21,973 --> 00:06:24,511
- Or a bone saw.
- No one carries those around.
155
00:06:24,545 --> 00:06:26,650
Fine, I guess we're all
going to the bathroom.
156
00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:28,554
Oh, God, no.
157
00:06:28,587 --> 00:06:29,923
I'm not happy about it, either.
158
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,527
Hey, order us drinks...
lots of drinks.
159
00:06:32,561 --> 00:06:34,666
Ooh, what looks good?
160
00:06:34,699 --> 00:06:36,168
[Lana] Ugh, I
really don't care.
161
00:06:36,201 --> 00:06:38,206
[Cyril] Well, I do.
162
00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:40,009
It's my first time talking
to the United Nations.
163
00:06:40,009 --> 00:06:42,648
Or-or is it before
the United Nations?
164
00:06:42,681 --> 00:06:45,520
Do we address the
nations? Oh, my God. Lana!
165
00:06:45,554 --> 00:06:47,057
Just let me do
the talking, okay?
166
00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:48,927
And relax, all right?
167
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,232
The UN never actually
does anything.
168
00:06:51,265 --> 00:06:55,641
I mean, these people are
total idiots. [laughs]
169
00:06:55,674 --> 00:06:57,110
Do you need to
turn this on or...
170
00:06:57,143 --> 00:06:59,214
It's already on.
171
00:06:59,247 --> 00:07:02,688
[cameras shutters clicking]
172
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:05,661
Hello, nations.
173
00:07:05,694 --> 00:07:07,064
Nope, that feels wrong.
174
00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:09,101
[Pam] I'm trying
my best, you dicks.
175
00:07:09,134 --> 00:07:10,971
I don't think these
bathrooms were designed
176
00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:12,575
for three people
handcuffed together.
177
00:07:12,608 --> 00:07:14,679
And I don't think sarcasm
makes this process faster.
178
00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:16,082
Are you done?
179
00:07:16,115 --> 00:07:18,086
- [Pam] Haven't even started yet.
- What?
180
00:07:18,119 --> 00:07:20,156
[Pam] Tell this guy to stop
peeking through the cracks!
181
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:23,731
I can't help where my head is
based on where my arms are.
182
00:07:23,764 --> 00:07:26,703
[tense music]
183
00:07:26,736 --> 00:07:31,546
? ?
184
00:07:31,579 --> 00:07:33,817
Whatever you're doing in there,
185
00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:36,021
I promise there's an easier way.
186
00:07:36,054 --> 00:07:38,025
[Pam] How's this way?
187
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,130
Huh, are we slowing down?
188
00:07:40,163 --> 00:07:42,635
Yes, it's the end of the line.
189
00:07:42,668 --> 00:07:44,973
Carlotta, my loyal number two,
190
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:48,246
come to my unnecessary
but grateful res...
191
00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:50,159
- Someone's in here!
- We gotta get out of here!
192
00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:52,989
After Pamela washes her hands.
193
00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:54,826
I didn't touch anything.
194
00:07:54,859 --> 00:07:56,730
Carlotta, watch your fire.
195
00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:59,602
She's shooting at
you, moron. Come on.
196
00:07:59,635 --> 00:08:02,742
- [grunts] what's the problem?
- I'm not leaving.
197
00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:04,579
You got three seconds, asshole.
198
00:08:04,612 --> 00:08:06,048
And I'm shooting
your elbow in one.
199
00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:08,921
Okay, okay. Carlotta,
they're trying to...
200
00:08:08,954 --> 00:08:11,224
[all grunting]
201
00:08:13,295 --> 00:08:15,801
- [Archer] You're welcome.
- For what?
202
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:18,640
- For rescuing you.
- They were rescuing me.
203
00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:21,078
What? They were
trying to kill you.
204
00:08:21,111 --> 00:08:23,784
Says the man who pulled
me out of a moving train.
205
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,888
Well, you're alive, aren't you?
206
00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:28,059
Guys, I don't think
this tree is...
207
00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,998
[all screaming]
208
00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:32,266
Nope, it's not.
209
00:08:37,277 --> 00:08:39,214
They were obviously
trying to assassinate you.
210
00:08:39,247 --> 00:08:42,922
What possible reason would
my employees have to kill me?
211
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:44,291
I think we're clear for now.
212
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,661
Uh, how about, you made
their lives miserable
213
00:08:45,661 --> 00:08:47,230
and they hate you?
214
00:08:47,263 --> 00:08:50,403
The brightest emerald is
forged in the hardest granite.
215
00:08:50,436 --> 00:08:52,708
Hey, can we focus
on the real problem?
216
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,044
Being lost in the woods?
217
00:08:54,077 --> 00:08:56,382
Hmm, the ex-IIA hit
squad coming for us?
218
00:08:56,415 --> 00:08:58,319
- The drones?
- Oh, right.
219
00:08:58,352 --> 00:09:00,323
Yeah, and if that hit squad...
220
00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:01,960
AKA rescue squad.
221
00:09:01,993 --> 00:09:04,064
AKA, you're delusional.
222
00:09:04,097 --> 00:09:05,734
If the hit squad kills Fabian,
223
00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:07,037
he can't deactivate the drones,
224
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:08,674
and they'll kill all of us.
225
00:09:08,707 --> 00:09:11,178
So by the transitive property,
226
00:09:11,211 --> 00:09:13,049
you must keep me alive.
227
00:09:13,082 --> 00:09:14,886
That's not the
transitive property.
228
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:17,023
It's a contrapositive
conditional.
229
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,894
Well, on the bright
side, Ray and Zara
230
00:09:18,927 --> 00:09:20,229
are probably already
coming for us.
231
00:09:20,229 --> 00:09:22,067
[Ray] Oh, my God!
232
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,071
Look at those mountains.
233
00:09:24,104 --> 00:09:26,175
- Um, Zara?
- [Zara gulps, gasps]
234
00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:28,045
The drinks on this
train are free.
235
00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:29,749
I got one for you,
but then I drank it.
236
00:09:29,782 --> 00:09:31,653
These are for me.
237
00:09:31,686 --> 00:09:33,055
Hey, whenever y'all
are done whispering
238
00:09:33,055 --> 00:09:35,326
and pointing at shit, can
you bring me a mimosa?
239
00:09:35,359 --> 00:09:36,663
[plates clatter]
240
00:09:36,696 --> 00:09:38,266
Um, where are they going?
241
00:09:38,299 --> 00:09:40,169
[Pam] To Liechtenstein!
242
00:09:40,202 --> 00:09:42,240
We're walking to
another country?
243
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:43,911
Unless you have a better idea.
244
00:09:43,944 --> 00:09:45,681
Uh, yeah, let the
drones kill us.
245
00:09:45,714 --> 00:09:47,417
I have an even better idea.
246
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:49,923
I defeat you in unarmed combat
247
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:52,427
and reunite with my
cadre of faithfuls.
248
00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:54,866
Get your hand off my wrist.
249
00:09:54,899 --> 00:09:59,174
I believe the parlance
is, compel me, brother.
250
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,378
Can you not while
I'm attached to you?
251
00:10:01,411 --> 00:10:03,684
[drone whirring]
252
00:10:03,717 --> 00:10:05,720
Any chance that's a
totally unrelated drone?
253
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,694
I mean, some.
254
00:10:08,727 --> 00:10:09,762
Run!
255
00:10:09,795 --> 00:10:11,832
[all screaming]
256
00:10:14,104 --> 00:10:16,242
Can we please stop
falling off things?
257
00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:18,045
Oh, boy, they're coming.
258
00:10:18,078 --> 00:10:20,149
Fabian, I hope you can hold
your breath for three minutes
259
00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:22,320
because that's how long
I'm holding you underwater.
260
00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,857
That won't work, I'm afraid.
261
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,128
These drones are
top of the line.
262
00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:29,368
They cannot be fooled by
water or darkness or disguise.
263
00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:31,873
They are relentless
and unbamboozable.
264
00:10:31,906 --> 00:10:33,542
Maybe use a less silly
word for the drones
265
00:10:33,542 --> 00:10:35,046
- coming to kill us.
- Screw the words.
266
00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:36,448
What do we do?
267
00:10:36,481 --> 00:10:38,486
Make peace with
the god you choose,
268
00:10:38,519 --> 00:10:40,791
for the day of
judgment is at hand.
269
00:10:40,824 --> 00:10:43,328
[drone beeping and whirring]
270
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,304
[laughs] We're alive!
271
00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:49,341
Uh, although, I guess
this could also be hell.
272
00:10:49,374 --> 00:10:50,778
What just happened?
273
00:10:50,811 --> 00:10:52,414
My guess, Ray
bought shitty drones
274
00:10:52,447 --> 00:10:54,151
that couldn't detect
us through the mud.
275
00:10:54,184 --> 00:10:56,756
But he spent the
entire drone budget.
276
00:10:57,992 --> 00:10:59,194
Oh, what they don't know
277
00:10:59,227 --> 00:11:00,964
can't kill them won't kill them.
278
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,804
[robot] More daiquiri,
Mr. Gillette?
279
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,808
What do you think, dummy?
280
00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:08,947
Oi, more of these and these
and some crisps, yeah?
281
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:11,418
For me and those
snobs across the aisle
282
00:11:11,451 --> 00:11:13,222
who clearly think
they're better than me.
283
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,093
And how long does
it take three people
284
00:11:15,126 --> 00:11:17,530
handcuffed together
to use the bathroom?
285
00:11:17,564 --> 00:11:21,171
[Cyril] Um, this doesn't
feel administrative.
286
00:11:21,204 --> 00:11:24,411
Secretary General Hernandez,
a pleasure, as always.
287
00:11:24,444 --> 00:11:27,283
[clears throat] I wish
I could say the same.
288
00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:28,920
Yeah, what's the
deal here, guys?
289
00:11:28,953 --> 00:11:31,125
I thought this was
basically a meet-and-greet.
290
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,095
This is a disciplinary hearing
291
00:11:33,128 --> 00:11:35,834
to determine if
independent spy agencies
292
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:39,408
will be allowed to continue
operating on the global stage.
293
00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:41,445
What? And you're
telling me now?
294
00:11:41,478 --> 00:11:43,249
[Hernandez] I told
your secretary.
295
00:11:43,282 --> 00:11:45,520
[Cheryl] Uh, I'm an
office administrator.
296
00:11:45,554 --> 00:11:47,524
Cheryl, what are you doing here?
297
00:11:47,558 --> 00:11:49,127
I'm a surprise witness.
298
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,831
A surprise witness for what?
299
00:11:50,864 --> 00:11:52,033
The United Nations.
300
00:11:52,066 --> 00:11:53,570
We're in their house, silly.
301
00:11:53,603 --> 00:11:55,406
So the surprise is against us?
302
00:11:55,439 --> 00:11:57,344
Well, they offered me immunity.
303
00:11:57,377 --> 00:11:59,147
Immunity from what?
304
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:00,984
We haven't done anything wrong.
305
00:12:01,017 --> 00:12:04,224
- Well...
- Nothing legally wrong.
306
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,495
Oh, my God, Lana, when
someone offers you immunity,
307
00:12:06,528 --> 00:12:08,366
you take it. [laughs]
308
00:12:08,399 --> 00:12:10,169
And all I had to do was
tell him all the bad things
309
00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:11,305
we ever did ever.
310
00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:12,575
Shall we begin?
311
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:14,311
- [Archer] No.
- [Pam] No?
312
00:12:14,344 --> 00:12:15,547
[Archer] No! You
already had your chance
313
00:12:15,547 --> 00:12:17,217
to pee on the train.
314
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:18,610
My chance to pee
with the door open
315
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,256
that got interrupted
by a gunfight.
316
00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:21,492
More than some people get.
317
00:12:21,525 --> 00:12:23,229
Do those people
also have to hold it
318
00:12:23,262 --> 00:12:25,366
while falling out
of a moving train
319
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,279
and then slogging through
a river covered in mud
320
00:12:27,303 --> 00:12:28,607
that they can't clean off
321
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,410
or a cheap-ass drone
will come and kill them?
322
00:12:30,443 --> 00:12:32,147
I also have to pee.
323
00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:35,153
Don't worry. You'll
be peeing very soon.
324
00:12:35,186 --> 00:12:37,090
Carlotta, thank goodness.
325
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,296
Tell my friends you're here to
rescue me and then kill them.
326
00:12:40,329 --> 00:12:42,367
Rescue? I'm here to kill you.
327
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,071
You, them?
328
00:12:44,104 --> 00:12:46,609
You as in you, you
pompous, abusive,
329
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,947
culturally ambiguous
middle manager.
330
00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:50,349
Middle manager?
331
00:12:50,382 --> 00:12:52,287
I led the company!
332
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,857
That's what you got from that?
333
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:55,861
Jesus, this is why
everyone hates you.
334
00:12:55,894 --> 00:12:58,600
Carlotta, I assure
you, I did my best.
335
00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:01,405
Anything you disagreed
with, that was the board.
336
00:13:01,438 --> 00:13:02,975
There was no board!
337
00:13:03,008 --> 00:13:05,446
You just made them up
to have someone to blame
338
00:13:05,479 --> 00:13:07,250
for all your bad choices.
339
00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:09,287
Whoa, that's
actually a good idea.
340
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,327
Technically, the board
did exist for a week.
341
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,563
And then had them killed.
342
00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:15,199
Tell them I say hello.
343
00:13:15,232 --> 00:13:17,003
Wait, he's the only one
who can stop the drones
344
00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:18,372
that are coming to kill us all.
345
00:13:18,405 --> 00:13:19,441
I'll take that risk.
346
00:13:19,474 --> 00:13:21,345
[gunfire]
347
00:13:21,378 --> 00:13:24,184
- Ow! God damn it.
- Sorry.
348
00:13:24,217 --> 00:13:26,021
[tense music]
349
00:13:26,054 --> 00:13:28,225
[drones whirring]
350
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:29,360
[Carlotta] Take it down!
351
00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:35,574
What the hell, Archer?
352
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,076
Sorry, it was instinct.
353
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:38,212
To save me?
354
00:13:38,245 --> 00:13:40,082
God, no, to save the mission.
355
00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:42,621
Um, guys, do I have as
little mud on my face
356
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:44,157
as you do on yours?
357
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,295
How could I possibly
make that comparison?
358
00:13:46,328 --> 00:13:47,598
[drone beeping and whirring]
359
00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:48,633
[Pam] Go!
360
00:13:50,369 --> 00:13:51,371
[all screaming]
361
00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:57,217
Okay, state your
name for the record.
362
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,054
- Uh, pass.
- [Hernandez] What?
363
00:13:59,087 --> 00:14:00,490
I just prefer not to.
364
00:14:00,523 --> 00:14:02,527
- You understand.
- I don't.
365
00:14:02,561 --> 00:14:05,266
Well, the surprise witness
is surprising the surprisers.
366
00:14:05,299 --> 00:14:06,703
No one at the
office is answering.
367
00:14:06,736 --> 00:14:08,172
We are not ready for this.
368
00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:09,440
Lana, our record
speaks for itself.
369
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,711
We do good in the world.
370
00:14:10,744 --> 00:14:12,247
And Cheryl is wearing them down.
371
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,050
State your name for the record!
372
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:16,255
Let's just move on
to the evidence.
373
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:19,294
Can you confirm that this
is the work of the Agency?
374
00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,465
[Cheryl] Yep. Uh-huh.
375
00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:22,668
Uh, probably.
376
00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:24,471
[laughs] Yeah.
377
00:14:24,504 --> 00:14:27,578
In our defense, that
was full of hydrogen.
378
00:14:27,611 --> 00:14:29,414
Oh, God, I was wrong
about our record.
379
00:14:29,447 --> 00:14:31,418
- We're monsters.
- Can you not?
380
00:14:31,451 --> 00:14:33,122
[Pam] Not what?
381
00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:35,627
Pam, can you not look at
me while we're doing this?
382
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:37,297
You choose the handcuffs.
383
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:40,102
I chose where I
look. Boi-oi-oing.
384
00:14:40,135 --> 00:14:41,538
[Fabian] They all hate me.
385
00:14:41,572 --> 00:14:42,708
After everything I did for them.
386
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,344
[laughs] Okay.
387
00:14:44,377 --> 00:14:46,248
On the bright side, we
made it to Liechtenstein.
388
00:14:46,248 --> 00:14:48,219
Pants up and never
speak of this on three.
389
00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:50,056
One, two, three.
390
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,593
Hey, I hear cars that way.
391
00:14:51,626 --> 00:14:53,429
- We can find a ride.
- [Fabian grunts]
392
00:14:53,462 --> 00:14:55,266
Seriously? We're almost there.
393
00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:56,501
What are you doing, Fabian?
394
00:14:56,534 --> 00:14:58,272
I'm giving up.
395
00:14:58,305 --> 00:14:59,642
Let the drones take me.
396
00:14:59,675 --> 00:15:03,182
For what is life without
the respect of my peers?
397
00:15:03,215 --> 00:15:05,119
Hey, bud, you have my respect.
398
00:15:05,152 --> 00:15:07,156
[Fabian] I don't
really care about that.
399
00:15:07,189 --> 00:15:09,762
[somber music]
400
00:15:09,795 --> 00:15:12,400
? ?
401
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:15,239
- You have my respect, Fabian.
- Really?
402
00:15:15,272 --> 00:15:17,243
Yeah, you know,
I still hate you,
403
00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:19,414
but you're a
semi-worthy adversary.
404
00:15:19,447 --> 00:15:21,418
I feel the same way.
405
00:15:21,451 --> 00:15:24,357
In spite of everything,
we're not so different.
406
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,729
No, I didn't say that.
We're very, very different.
407
00:15:26,762 --> 00:15:30,571
You handcuffed us
together so we could bond.
408
00:15:30,604 --> 00:15:34,511
Two lone wolves, learning
to survive as a pack.
409
00:15:34,545 --> 00:15:36,481
[howls]
410
00:15:36,514 --> 00:15:38,519
I'm coming around
to death by drone.
411
00:15:38,553 --> 00:15:40,456
Oh, shit, I hear something
else coming around.
412
00:15:40,489 --> 00:15:43,329
[motorcycles rumbling]
413
00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:45,266
[Archer] Ha, ha,
found our ride.
414
00:15:45,299 --> 00:15:47,103
You mean the guys
that wanna kill us?
415
00:15:47,136 --> 00:15:49,040
I have an idea.
416
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,443
[dramatic music]
417
00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:51,746
[motorcyclist growls]
418
00:15:51,779 --> 00:15:54,351
[engine revving]
419
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:56,221
[Fabian] You've been got... oh!
420
00:15:57,223 --> 00:16:00,463
[Pam laughs] Oh, damn, dude,
that just popped right off.
421
00:16:00,496 --> 00:16:02,200
Why was his neck so weak?
422
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:04,639
More importantly, how are we
all fitting on this thing?
423
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,811
[birds cawing]
424
00:16:07,844 --> 00:16:10,182
- Hang on.
- It's a short drive.
425
00:16:10,215 --> 00:16:12,387
Yeah, it better be.
426
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:14,324
Oh, God, crows are
pecking at the head.
427
00:16:14,357 --> 00:16:16,361
[vomits]
428
00:16:16,394 --> 00:16:18,465
I forgive you, friend.
429
00:16:18,498 --> 00:16:20,236
Great, 'cause I'm
about to do it again.
430
00:16:20,269 --> 00:16:22,273
[vomiting]
431
00:16:26,147 --> 00:16:29,521
[jaunty polka music]
432
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,527
Champagne to go. I
mean, who does that?
433
00:16:32,561 --> 00:16:33,763
Switzerland does it.
434
00:16:33,796 --> 00:16:35,299
Can you believe the others spent
435
00:16:35,332 --> 00:16:37,503
the entire ride in the toilet?
436
00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:40,811
I did until a second ago.
437
00:16:40,844 --> 00:16:44,752
[gunfire]
438
00:16:44,785 --> 00:16:46,154
- We're close.
- How close?
439
00:16:46,187 --> 00:16:47,758
Time or distance?
440
00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:48,860
Will we die before we get there?
441
00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:50,764
That depends on one thing:
442
00:16:50,797 --> 00:16:53,168
the intimacy of our friendship.
443
00:16:53,201 --> 00:16:55,574
Can you not say stuff like that
while we're penis to penis?
444
00:16:55,607 --> 00:16:56,843
Just say nose to nose.
445
00:16:56,876 --> 00:16:59,147
[tense music]
446
00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,784
[grunts]
447
00:17:00,817 --> 00:17:03,322
I was born to an
Albanian seamstress.
448
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,126
It was a breech birth.
449
00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:07,698
For my fifth birthday, I was
gifted a kitten by my uncle
450
00:17:07,731 --> 00:17:10,570
but gave it up upon
discovering a mild allergy.
451
00:17:10,603 --> 00:17:11,723
What the hell are you doing?
452
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,843
[Fabian] Bonding
by sharing traumas.
453
00:17:13,876 --> 00:17:16,515
You call those traumas?
I never knew my father.
454
00:17:16,549 --> 00:17:19,187
My mother started me drinking
at eight to keep me quiet.
455
00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:22,460
I lost my virginity and my
dog to a Brazilian au pair.
456
00:17:22,493 --> 00:17:25,801
My archrival killed and
later dated my one true love.
457
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:27,838
Thank you for
sharing. I see you.
458
00:17:27,871 --> 00:17:29,474
I wasn't connecting.
459
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:30,711
I was one-upping.
460
00:17:30,744 --> 00:17:31,405
? ?
461
00:17:41,932 --> 00:17:44,237
Damn it, probably shouldn't
have handcuffed my gun hand.
462
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,241
I can help. Give me a gun.
463
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,546
Better idea, I'll just
shoot myself in the face
464
00:17:48,579 --> 00:17:49,682
and cut out the middleman.
465
00:17:49,715 --> 00:17:51,451
Sterling, trust me.
466
00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:54,725
We're all about to die.
Just give him the damn gun.
467
00:17:54,758 --> 00:17:56,260
Ugh.
468
00:17:58,365 --> 00:17:59,835
Bang, bang.
469
00:17:59,868 --> 00:18:01,739
Just kidding, my friend.
470
00:18:01,772 --> 00:18:02,433
? ?
471
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,258
- [gun clicks]
- I'm out.
472
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,895
- [Pam] We're here.
- Brake!
473
00:18:12,928 --> 00:18:14,497
[tires squeal]
474
00:18:16,234 --> 00:18:17,938
[Fabian] Oh, dear God.
475
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,209
What is happening with
necks in this country?
476
00:18:20,242 --> 00:18:21,511
[Pam] We've got
bigger problems.
477
00:18:21,545 --> 00:18:23,883
Specifically, lots
of smaller problems.
478
00:18:23,916 --> 00:18:27,891
[drones whirring]
479
00:18:27,924 --> 00:18:30,630
- Are those...
- The good drones.
480
00:18:30,663 --> 00:18:34,370
[drones beeping and whirring]
481
00:18:34,403 --> 00:18:37,778
[gunfire]
482
00:18:37,811 --> 00:18:42,520
Well, if I have to die, I'm
glad it's next to friends.
483
00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:44,190
Stop making this
something it's not.
484
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:48,331
Damn it, who buys a
drone with knives?
485
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:53,843
- [glass shatters]
- [explosion]
486
00:18:53,876 --> 00:18:55,413
The same person with two thumbs
487
00:18:55,446 --> 00:18:58,385
and no more
champagne... this guy.
488
00:18:58,418 --> 00:19:01,224
I am still drunk from the train.
489
00:19:01,257 --> 00:19:03,529
Get inside and
deactivate these fuckers.
490
00:19:03,563 --> 00:19:05,700
- [Cyril] Not cool.
- [Hernandez] Excuse me?
491
00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,403
What are you doing?
492
00:19:07,436 --> 00:19:08,940
Speaking truth to power.
493
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,811
And the truth is,
this isn't cool.
494
00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:12,681
You called us in
here for an ambush.
495
00:19:12,714 --> 00:19:15,821
Mr. Figgis, this is a
fact-finding meeting.
496
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,925
Oh, yeah, with quorum
of member states
497
00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:19,728
as required to
adopt a resolution,
498
00:19:19,761 --> 00:19:21,531
per the UN rules of procedure?
499
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:24,404
That's what I thought.
You're grandstanding.
500
00:19:24,437 --> 00:19:25,607
You already know
what you plan to do.
501
00:19:25,607 --> 00:19:28,312
But guess what?
We're the Agency.
502
00:19:28,345 --> 00:19:32,386
We're used to ambushes and bad
odds and terrible situations.
503
00:19:32,419 --> 00:19:34,523
[gunfire]
504
00:19:37,463 --> 00:19:39,702
That's where we thrive...
505
00:19:39,735 --> 00:19:40,770
because we're not
just the front lines.
506
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:41,905
We're a step beyond that.
507
00:19:45,345 --> 00:19:48,586
If we do our job right,
there never is a front line.
508
00:19:48,619 --> 00:19:50,757
So you can look at the screen
and see our failures, sure.
509
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:51,859
What the?
510
00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:53,462
But the world you're living in,
511
00:19:53,495 --> 00:19:55,466
the world you're
living in right now,
512
00:19:55,499 --> 00:19:57,303
that is our success.
513
00:19:57,336 --> 00:19:58,304
- [yelps]
- [explosion]
514
00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:02,748
I tried. Your turn.
515
00:20:02,781 --> 00:20:04,350
I don't have a gun.
516
00:20:04,383 --> 00:20:06,021
You can't shoot me!
517
00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:08,424
I never filled out my
starting paperwork!
518
00:20:09,728 --> 00:20:10,864
[screams]
519
00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:11,558
? ?
520
00:20:17,042 --> 00:20:18,278
You're welcome.
521
00:20:21,484 --> 00:20:23,455
What the hell happened?
522
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,594
The door only allows one
person through at a time.
523
00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:27,330
Getting pretty droney out here.
524
00:20:27,363 --> 00:20:29,033
How do I deactivate the drones?
525
00:20:29,066 --> 00:20:31,638
You can't, not without my
handprint for the scanner.
526
00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:38,653
We almost made it all the
way, didn't we, friend?
527
00:20:38,686 --> 00:20:40,624
I couldn't have made it
this far without you.
528
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,493
But I've got it
from here, friend.
529
00:20:42,526 --> 00:20:43,763
[grunts]
530
00:20:43,796 --> 00:20:46,736
Ow! What the shit?
531
00:20:46,769 --> 00:20:48,505
[Archer] Thanks for
the hand, friend.
532
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:49,875
[laughs]
533
00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:51,612
[computer] Protocol
deactivated.
534
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:57,925
[drone powers down]
535
00:20:57,958 --> 00:21:00,764
So how we all feeling?
536
00:21:00,797 --> 00:21:02,400
[Archer] Better than Fabian.
537
00:21:02,433 --> 00:21:04,838
Can you believe he doesn't
wanna be friends anymore?
538
00:21:04,871 --> 00:21:07,109
- You cut off his hand.
- For a good cause.
539
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,613
And I gave it back to him.
540
00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:10,082
After you shot him
the bird with it.
541
00:21:10,115 --> 00:21:11,518
That was Zara's idea.
542
00:21:11,552 --> 00:21:13,388
- [laughs] And it was hilarious.
- Thanks.
543
00:21:13,421 --> 00:21:15,025
It's not my first dismemberment.
544
00:21:15,058 --> 00:21:16,696
Going forward, no
more cutting off hands
545
00:21:16,729 --> 00:21:18,532
and taunting people with them.
546
00:21:18,566 --> 00:21:20,535
The UN came after us today,
but we really dodged a bullet
547
00:21:20,535 --> 00:21:22,540
by saving them from bullets.
548
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:24,812
I just wanna say
I was only siding
549
00:21:24,845 --> 00:21:26,448
with the UN for immunity.
550
00:21:26,481 --> 00:21:27,851
Yeah, you told us.
551
00:21:27,884 --> 00:21:29,588
Oh, no. Uh, guys?
552
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,101
[Hernandez] In light
of recent events,
553
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,395
it is with overwhelming support
554
00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:36,134
from our member nations
that this council votes
555
00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:39,107
to declare all
private independent
556
00:21:39,140 --> 00:21:41,846
spy agencies illegal.
557
00:21:41,879 --> 00:21:45,085
They will be given
30 days to disband.
558
00:21:45,118 --> 00:21:46,354
[all gasp]
559
00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:52,065
Is that 30 calendar
days or business days?
560
00:21:53,602 --> 00:21:55,071
[sighs] God damn it.
561
00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:57,269
? ?
562
00:22:15,847 --> 00:22:18,953
Made in Georgia.
563
00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:23,553
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