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1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,604
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:05,471
‐ Yo.
‐ Yo. What up? What up?
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:08,041
‐ Hey. Yeah?
‐ Neesee, you look nice.
4
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:10,043
Oh, muffins? Mr. Fix It comin'?
5
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:11,612
[chuckles]
6
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,246
That's it, that's it, that's it.
7
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:15,516
I am dealin'
with a major crisis here.
8
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,551
You think I have time to worry
about gettin' my hair done
9
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,319
and flirt with some contractor?
10
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,353
[doorbell rings]
11
00:00:20,386 --> 00:00:21,354
[gasps]
12
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,192
You know what, Neesee,
you're right.
13
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:29,462
You're not flirtin' with him,
you're throwin' yourself at him.
14
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,165
You know what else I'm throwing?
15
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,466
Huh? Huh?
16
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:39,405
♪ Often I wish that we ♪
17
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,608
♪ Could take the time to see ♪
18
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,644
♪ The need there is to be ♪
19
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:46,312
♪ A family yeah ♪
20
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,481
♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪
21
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,651
♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪
22
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,553
♪ Time and seasons change ♪
23
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,188
♪ But we will still remain ♪
24
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:58,224
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
25
00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:01,061
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪
26
00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:06,399
[instrumental music]
27
00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:08,502
‐ Hey, let me ask you somethin'.
‐ What up?
28
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,236
I went out with this girl
last night, right?
29
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:11,872
I dropped her off, she said,
"I'll call you."
30
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,174
Haven't heard from her.
You think I should call?
31
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:16,543
It's only 9 a. m.
32
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,682
I can see me now
in my blueprint little kitchen.
33
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,183
That's me all up in there.
34
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,654
This is so crazy.
35
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,757
I‐I must say,
you are my most fun client.
36
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:34,427
Oh, and I must say,
you're my most fun contractor.
37
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:37,731
‐ Neesee.
‐ Oh, Louis.
38
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:42,569
You know what would
really be fun?
39
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,205
‐ What's that?
‐ If we grab dinner sometime.
40
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,575
‐ That would be great.
‐ Oh.
41
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,711
My boyfriend
would love to meet you.
42
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,215
Who would love what now?
43
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,351
My boyfriend, Corey.
44
00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:00,587
I told him all about you.
45
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,255
‐ You did?
‐ Yeah.
46
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,390
Oh, ho‐how nice.
47
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,292
I think it's sweet
48
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:09,329
when a smart, handsome man
49
00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:11,532
tells his male lover about me.
50
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,233
Oh!
51
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,367
Uh, you..
52
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,869
You know what?
53
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:18,204
Does Corey like muffins?
54
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:19,706
‐ Hm?
‐ Uh, yeah.
55
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,575
You bring Corey
these muffins from me, huh?
56
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:22,576
Oh, okay.
57
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,346
‐ Thanks.
‐ Yeah.
58
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:27,881
Uh, what about the bowl?
59
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:29,382
Y'all can have the bowl.
60
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,284
Oh. Okay.
61
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,953
‐ Great. Hm?
‐ Oh. Alright.
62
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,192
See..
63
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:40,794
Women aren't like men,
they don't say I'm gonna call
64
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,895
and not call.
65
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,630
That's my move.
66
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,465
Nobody uses my move.
67
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,333
Aw, maybe she'll buy you a purse
68
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,169
and make it up to you.
69
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,344
What's the matter, Neesee?
70
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,614
‐ Things didn't go well when‐‐
‐ He's gay.
71
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:04,651
Oh, Neesee, any guy who doesn't
want you is gay, right?
72
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:09,289
No, any guy whose girlfriend
is a boyfriend is gay.
73
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:12,225
Look at me.
Why can't I find a man?
74
00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:13,259
Shut up.
75
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,563
Did you ever try
online dating?
76
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:17,864
That's how I met
the girl I'm with.
77
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,233
You mean the girl
that won't call you back?
78
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,802
It's only 9 a. m.
79
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,203
Shut up.
80
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:28,441
I joined a dating service
last week, soulcalmatch.com.
81
00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:31,411
Why would you sign up
for a online dating service?
82
00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:34,715
'Cause the internet
is the Costco of love.
83
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,249
Hundreds of women
right at your fingertips.
84
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,418
It's quick. It's cheap.
It's convenient.
85
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,554
I'm lookin' for romance,
not wholesale beef.
86
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,690
[laughing]
87
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,659
[instrumental music]
88
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,329
‐ Yo.
‐ Hey!
89
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,432
‐ What are you doin'?
‐ Nothin'.
90
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,674
You're on soulcalmatch.com.
91
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,676
Alright, alright,
alright, I'm hooked.
92
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,545
You know, I've been
readin' profiles all morning
93
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,580
and I think I met somebody.
94
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,048
This girl,
I've been chatting with her
95
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,283
for the last 45 minutes.
96
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,052
‐ Let me see her photo.
‐ She doesn't have one.
97
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,055
No photo? Run away.
98
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,990
That means she so ugly
she cracked the lens.
99
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,860
Or she's a dude.
100
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,061
I figured that one out
the hard way.
101
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,864
That was a awkward
cup of coffee.
102
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,465
Hey, look, man,
I feel you and everything
103
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:26,733
but I think there's
somethin' real cool
104
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,401
about going beyond the surface
105
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,770
and connectin'
on a different level.
106
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,905
I even told her that
I cried at "Finding Nemo"
107
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,041
and she thought
my sensitivity was sexy.
108
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,010
You'd have to be heartless
not to cry at that movie.
109
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,513
So little.
110
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:41,948
His father couldn't find him.
111
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,752
Just couldn't find him.
112
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,889
Plus, she loves sports
and she drinks beer.
113
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,693
And she told me that
her measurements are 36‐24‐36.
114
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,561
Tell me that ain't
a winnin' hand.
115
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,697
Classic internet mislead.
116
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,398
What woman is that perfect?
117
00:04:58,431 --> 00:04:59,432
[message chimes]
118
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,334
"So, what's your deal?"
119
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,435
[keys clacking]
120
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:05,539
"Are you single, divorced
121
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,340
"or a married man
122
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:10,577
who's dogging his poor wife?"
123
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,013
Yo, yo, check it out,
she's been divorced too.
124
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:16,650
And her ex‐husband
sounds like a real winner.
125
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,753
"He's a unappreciative
petty little man
126
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:22,589
who thinks he's cuter
than he really is."
127
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,059
Tell her you want
to suck her toes.
128
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,062
I'm not telling her that.
129
00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:30,931
[scoffs]
130
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:36,102
"Wait until I tell you
about my ex‐wife."
131
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,905
"Overbearing,
high‐maintenance diva?"
132
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,876
Who would marry
somebody like that?
133
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,648
"If you were my man.."
134
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,949
"...I'd cater to you.
135
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,917
"I'd serve you breakfast in bed
136
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,119
"have a warm bath ready
when you get home
137
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:56,022
"and if you had
a stressful day..
138
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,024
...I'd give you a nice backrub."
139
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,760
That's what I'm talkin' about!
140
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,029
[indistinct talking]
141
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,898
"I wanna suck your toes."
142
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:05,899
[message chimes]
143
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,638
Come on, Dirk,
what is she gonna think, man?
144
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,840
Move.
145
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:18,111
"Sorry, sometimes
I say weird things
146
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,946
without thinking."
147
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,417
"That's okay.
148
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,887
Sometimes I'm into weird."
149
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,489
Jackpot!
150
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,930
"I never told this to anyone
151
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:40,000
"but sometimes when I'm
feelin' really naughty
152
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,502
I like to.."
153
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,671
[keys clacking]
154
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,873
[spits]
155
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,908
[coughs]
156
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,877
[chuckles]
Oh!
157
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,179
I haven't done that
since college.
158
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,854
"You sound fun. How do I know
you're the real deal?"
159
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:01,988
Well..
160
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,124
"Only one way to find out.
161
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,527
"Let's meet at Atwood's
tomorrow night at 8:00
162
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,128
for drinks." Hmm.
163
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:11,231
"We'll both carry white roses."
164
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,465
Damn.
165
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,801
Maybe I'm crazy but, uh..
166
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,740
[instrumental music]
167
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:20,974
Excuse me, folks,
your table's ready.
168
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:22,475
I can seat you now.
169
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:24,978
[clears throat]
170
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,829
[clattering]
171
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,671
[instrumental music]
172
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:58,111
‐ Neesee.
‐ Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
173
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,145
What are you doin' here?
174
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,547
Oh, um..
175
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,715
...my‐my business meeting
got cancelled.
176
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:02,916
So I just stopped by
to get some food.
177
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,818
Hey, my man,
can I get some chili to go?
178
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:05,819
Alright.
179
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,593
So, um, you here
waiting for someone?
180
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,528
If you must know
181
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,563
I don't have a business meeting,
I have a date.
182
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,700
Oh, wha..
Why didn't you just say so?
183
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,635
Because frankly,
it's none of your business.
184
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,136
But you would know that
if you were a thoughtful
185
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,539
and intelligent man,
like him.
186
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,977
Oh, so he's thoughtful
187
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,278
and intelligent.
188
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,082
Sounds like a good guy, Neesee.
189
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,720
He is. He's also sweet,
and romantic, and sophisticated.
190
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,588
‐ Ooh, alright.
‐ Not like you.
191
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,992
He understands that
there's a world beyond his own.
192
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,795
Ah‐hah!
193
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:51,565
I know it's hard to hear,
but it's true.
194
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:52,733
Now, would you move on
down the bar
195
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,767
so he won't think you
196
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,201
clutterin' up my space.
197
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,703
Does he look better than me?
198
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,138
Boy, please, do you think
199
00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,740
I'm tryin' to go backwards?
200
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:05,278
Damn, Neesee, homeboy sound
too good to be true.
201
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,947
So, so, so, so, um..
202
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,016
Where did you
two lovebirds meet?
203
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,685
I don't have to
tell you nothin'.
204
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,219
Kick rocks.
205
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,755
No, no, no, I'm just askin',
you know
206
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,356
whe‐where'd you guys meet?
207
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,926
‐ We met where people meet.
‐ Hm.
208
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,829
Ma'am, your table is ready.
Is this the rest of your party?
209
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,799
Ha, if Robert's here, you really
can't call it a party.
210
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,903
Goodbye and enjoy
your dinner for one.
211
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:30,904
[giggles]
212
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,154
[instrumental music]
213
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,892
I'm not gonna do it.
214
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,326
I'm not gonna call her.
215
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,861
Be strong.
216
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,162
Eye of the tiger.
217
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,033
‐ What's wrong?
‐ Huh?
218
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,868
Oh, nothin' you'd understand,
little man.
219
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,870
Woman problems.
220
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,171
Been there.
221
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,978
Alright, so there's this girl
I'm into, right?
222
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,379
We were supposed to go out
later on tonight.
223
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,181
She said she was gonna
call me at 8:00.
224
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,017
But now it's 8:30.
225
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,952
That's when the little hand's
on eight and the big..
226
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:22,255
‐ I know how to tell time.
‐ Right.
227
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,357
So now, I don't know
if I should just be patient
228
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,892
or if she's stringin' me along.
229
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,293
I just need to know.
230
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,829
Well, does she play with you?
231
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,964
Not as much as I'd like.
232
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:33,433
But when you do play,
does she share her snacks?
233
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,101
Not as much as I'd like.
234
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,738
Hm.
235
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,706
But she made
another playdate, right?
236
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,942
‐ Yeah.
‐ Then she likes you.
237
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,078
She wouldn't make a playdate
if she didn't like you.
238
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,112
I guess you're right.
239
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,348
Maybe I was just freakin' out.
240
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:51,184
This is good stuff, little man.
What else you got?
241
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,419
Well, for starters,
if a girl tells you
242
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,321
not to touch her glitter
243
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,190
you better not
touch her glitter.
244
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,660
Oh, I know that.
245
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,437
What happened? Got stood up?
246
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,907
No. He'll be here.
247
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,909
Probably came here already
and got intimidated
248
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,844
when he saw me.
249
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:21,147
Yeah, right.
The fool waitin' on the chili.
250
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,051
[slurping]
251
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,221
‐ Here you go, sir.
‐ Hm.
252
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,355
Hallelujah.
253
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,341
[sighs]
254
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,078
‐ Neesee.
‐ You still here?
255
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,747
Go home, dude.
256
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,019
You know what?
257
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:01,955
Have a good date.
258
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,397
[telephone ringing]
259
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,733
It's her.
260
00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:17,871
Cool.
Remember what we talked about.
261
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,173
"Be nice and use my words."
262
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,443
Hello.
263
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,478
Hey, what's up, girl?
264
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,814
Nothin'.
Just chillin' with my boy.
265
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:30,951
Still wanna grab that drink?
266
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,988
Oh, okay. No.
267
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,257
No problem. I understand.
268
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,925
We could get ice cream.
269
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,295
Uh, how about
we get some ice cream?
270
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,366
Yeah, it is a good idea.
271
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,134
No, a‐alright.
Alright, I'll see you there.
272
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,303
I can't wait either. Okay.
273
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,905
Nice work, Bobby Deuce.
274
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,239
She totally went
for the ice cream thing.
275
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,908
‐ How'd you know?
‐ I didn't.
276
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,943
I meant for you and me
to get ice cream.
277
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,546
Oh. Rain check?
278
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:01,314
Okay, but you owe me sprinkles.
279
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,315
You got it.
280
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,952
‐ Daddy!
‐ Hey, son.
281
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,321
‐ How'd it go?
‐ Canceled.
282
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,523
You should get tips
from this man.
283
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,057
[laughs]
284
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,559
I don't know,
maybe in the morning.
285
00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:14,528
Why don't you go upstairs
and get yourself ready for bed?
286
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,963
‐ Oh, man.
‐ "Oh, man."
287
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,264
[laughs]
288
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,900
‐ Goodnight, daddy.
‐ Goodnight.
289
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,134
Goodnight, Uncle Dirk.
290
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,469
Be sure to let her
get two flavors.
291
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:27,240
That boy's got my back.
292
00:13:32,513 --> 00:13:34,915
‐ So?
‐ It was a disaster.
293
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,249
She was Neesee.
294
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:37,417
Oh, I hate it
when I date a woman
295
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,485
that reminds me of my ex.
296
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:43,156
No, she didn't remind me
of Neesee, she was Neesee.
297
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,258
Whoa, Neesee Neesee?
298
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,561
Neesee with the attitude?
299
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,095
Your baby mama Neesee?
300
00:13:50,531 --> 00:13:52,465
Yes, I tried to leave
but she saw me.
301
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,869
So, I had to lie, man.
302
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,905
So now, she thinks
the guy that she met online
303
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,040
stood her up.
304
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,643
You stood Neesee up,
that's cold.
305
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,211
I know, man, you don't think
I feel terrible?
306
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,080
You should have
seen her there, Dirk.
307
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,883
Sittin' there all by herself.
308
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,052
Flickin' that
sorry little flower.
309
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,321
The flower
you told her to bring?
310
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,057
I know.
311
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,191
[message chimes]
312
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,094
Oh, damn, that's her.
313
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,063
Yeah, she's mad.
"Where the hell were you?"
314
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,233
Um.. Um..
315
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,069
I got it.
316
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,672
"I was there but when I saw you
317
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:32,906
"I couldn't come in.
318
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,941
"I felt like you were
319
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,042
out of my league."
320
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,044
Ha..
321
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,981
"You were too beautiful."
322
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,282
[message chimes]
323
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,450
‐ Neesee's gonna eat that up.
‐ Yeah.
324
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:47,921
"It's my blessing and my curse."
325
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,290
[message chimes]
326
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:03,604
[message chimes]
327
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,675
You're Robert?
328
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,179
Oh! No, he did not.
329
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,549
Oh, no, I did not.
330
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,184
And all the time, I knew..
331
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,086
He knew about the..
332
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,322
And I'm talkin' to.. Oh..
333
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,291
Woo!
334
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:28,428
It is on now,
you little lyin' chili man.
335
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,297
[message chimes]
336
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,301
"Then I guess this is goodbye."
Yes!
337
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,603
Ha‐ha, it's over.
338
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,440
[message chimes]
339
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,342
"I'm going to go
lie down on my bed
340
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,177
and cry myself to sleep."
341
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,246
[door shuts]
342
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:54,187
[crying]
343
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,465
Neesee?
344
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:07,568
Oh!
345
00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,503
Hi, Robert.
346
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:14,007
I just came from my, uh, date.
347
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,310
Uh, what's the matter?
348
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:18,712
You were right.
349
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,547
I got stood up.
350
00:16:20,581 --> 00:16:23,216
I sat in that restaurant
by myself
351
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:25,519
just prayin'
to see a man, any man
352
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,353
holdin' that white rose.
353
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,725
[sobbing]
354
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,260
[blows nose]
355
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:37,063
Uh! Oh! I'm sorry.
356
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,733
I, I know how you feel
about your clothes.
357
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,568
Oh, oh, it‐it, it's cool.
358
00:16:42,536 --> 00:16:44,170
Thank you.
359
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,471
[blows nose]
360
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,611
I never even ordered.
361
00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:52,513
You didn't eat dinner?
362
00:16:52,546 --> 00:16:54,147
And I didn't have lunch today
363
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,449
because I wanted to look
thin and pretty.
364
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,286
Dirk, you heard her,
go get her some chili, man.
365
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,291
And you know
what the worst part is?
366
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,127
You know how I met this guy?
367
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:10,296
At a church picnic?
368
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:15,068
The internet.
369
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,570
But I know you don't know
anything about that
370
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,338
because you would
never cruise for love
371
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,306
on a information superhighway.
372
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:22,475
True.
373
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,445
Well..
374
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:28,782
And me and this stupid outfit
375
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:32,553
and these stupid, stupid shoes..
376
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,289
You know what these shoes
do to my feet?
377
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:41,294
Ow, ow, ow.
378
00:17:42,696 --> 00:17:45,098
I would rub them myself
379
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,668
but I pricked my fingers
so many times
380
00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:50,370
holdin' that rose.
381
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,206
Oh, oh, you know what,
I‐I got you.
382
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,341
I got you, Neesee.
383
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,810
‐ Oh!
‐ You alright?
384
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,645
You don't have to do that.
385
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,314
A little firmer.
386
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:06,352
Here you go, I put
some cheddar on the top too.
387
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:11,858
Oh, oh, I‐I‐I just feel
so...helpless.
388
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:13,694
Feed me some of that,
would you, Dirk?
389
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:21,735
Mm.
390
00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:26,573
[sobbing]
391
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:31,177
Uh, you know
what would make me feel better?
392
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,746
What? Anything.
393
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,581
If you would suck my toes.
394
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,585
Who da what?
395
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,657
I said, "Suck my toes,
chili man."
396
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,326
You knew?
397
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,730
Damn straight.
398
00:18:49,763 --> 00:18:52,298
You sat there
in that restaurant all night
399
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,267
tryin' to make me
look like the fool.
400
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,270
Like you need my help with that?
401
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,439
Braggin' about your date
when your date was me
402
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,541
the guy who you think is
403
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,308
a unappreciative
petty little man
404
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,177
who think he's cuter than he is.
405
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:08,181
Well, Neesee,
I am cuter than I am.
406
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:10,851
Oh, I'm sorry, Robert,
did I hurt your feelings, hm?
407
00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:12,418
Oh, I know how sensitive you are
408
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,556
Mr. Cry‐Over‐A‐Cartoon‐Fish.
409
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:18,191
Hey, Neesee,
you're wrong for that one.
410
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,325
He was lost.
411
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,462
Father couldn't find him.
412
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,765
He had a broken fin.
413
00:19:24,798 --> 00:19:26,466
And after five years of marriage
414
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,234
where was my backrub,
Neesee, huh?
415
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,703
My shoulders are still sore.
416
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,437
Well, all I wanna know is
when did you start
417
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,707
suckin' toes, Robert?
418
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,576
Ha! It was Dirk.
419
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:36,910
Hey, wait, both of y'all
hold up.
420
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,879
Don't you think it's weird
that of all the people
421
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:42,348
on the internet, you two still
managed to find each other?
422
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,517
Maybe that means somethin'.
423
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,422
No, you gotta be kiddin' me.
It don't mean..
424
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:51,558
That means I need to start
surfing the net.
425
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:52,893
That's what that means.
426
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:53,994
That means maybe we need
to stop livin' together.
427
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:57,430
[overlapping chatter]
428
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:07,340
So, then what happened?
429
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,910
She ordered strawberry
and chocolate chip.
430
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:13,346
Ooh, she has good taste.
431
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,281
Did you ask her
if she ate already?
432
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,482
No, why?
433
00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,585
Because if she
spoiled her dinner
434
00:20:18,619 --> 00:20:20,687
she could've gotten in trouble
with her mom.
435
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:25,258
You never wanna
get a girl in trouble.
436
00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:28,762
I hear that.
437
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:29,763
[instrumental music]
438
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:33,900
[theme music]
439
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:51,985
[record scratching]
29919
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