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1
00:00:01,340 --> 00:00:02,842
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:02,875 --> 00:00:04,336
‐ Baby?
‐ 'What's up?'
3
00:00:04,369 --> 00:00:05,605
Hey, have you seen my blouse?
4
00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:07,406
I can't find it anywhere.
5
00:00:07,439 --> 00:00:09,308
Uh, well,
let's retrace our steps.
6
00:00:09,341 --> 00:00:11,443
Let me see,
last night we had a drink.
7
00:00:11,476 --> 00:00:12,712
You know, you grabbed my tie.
8
00:00:12,745 --> 00:00:14,479
You said, "Take me, daddy.
Take me."
9
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,081
‐ Mm‐hm.
‐ Huh?
10
00:00:16,115 --> 00:00:17,783
I said, "Call me Shaka."
11
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,285
Yeah, then I said
"Shaka Zulu or Chaka Khan?"
12
00:00:20,319 --> 00:00:21,521
‐ Uh‐huh. Uh‐huh.
‐ Yeah.
13
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:22,555
Then I threw you
on the bed.
14
00:00:22,588 --> 00:00:24,189
Whoo! You did girl, you did.
15
00:00:24,223 --> 00:00:26,491
Then I said,
"Take it like a man, punk."
16
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,093
Mmm!
17
00:00:28,127 --> 00:00:29,194
And then I rolled you over.
18
00:00:29,228 --> 00:00:30,362
‐ Yeah. Right.
‐ Right.
19
00:00:30,395 --> 00:00:31,597
And then I start
unbuttoning your shirt
20
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:32,632
with my teeth like this.
21
00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:33,733
‐ Mm.
‐ Oh.
22
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:35,134
‐ Mm.
‐ Uh.
23
00:00:35,167 --> 00:00:37,169
‐ Mm.
‐ Umh!
24
00:00:37,202 --> 00:00:38,838
Damn, baby. I think,
I might've ate it.
25
00:00:38,871 --> 00:00:39,872
[phone ringing]
26
00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:43,442
(Robert on answering machine)
'Leave a message.'
27
00:00:43,475 --> 00:00:45,077
[beeping]
28
00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,346
(Neesee on phone)
'Robert, pick up the phone.'
29
00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:49,314
'Your son is trippin'.'
30
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:53,318
Hey, Neesee.
31
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:57,222
He said what to his coach?
32
00:00:57,256 --> 00:00:58,824
Yeah, I'll talk to him.
33
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:01,460
Yeah, alright.
Alright. Later.
34
00:01:01,493 --> 00:01:02,528
Hey, hey, hey, baby.
35
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,696
Where you goin'?
Where you goin'?
36
00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:05,264
No, it's, um, it's late
37
00:01:05,297 --> 00:01:07,232
and I need to get to school
38
00:01:07,266 --> 00:01:09,802
and you need
to finish stuff, so..
39
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:12,237
Aw, come on, baby,
I‐I was talkin' to Neesee
40
00:01:12,271 --> 00:01:14,874
as my son's mother, I wasn't
taking to her as my ex‐wife.
41
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:17,276
I know, sweetie.
It's okay.
42
00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:19,545
Piggyback.
43
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:22,782
‐ Come on, Robert.
‐ Come on, baby.
44
00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:25,585
You know, complete honesty
in the piggyback position.
45
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,086
Come on.
46
00:01:28,453 --> 00:01:30,189
Alright.
47
00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:32,357
What's bothering you?
48
00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:34,293
Well..
49
00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:37,496
...every time Neesee calls,
my man jumps.
50
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:39,899
And I know it's because
he's a great father.
51
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:41,701
and he's doin' the right thing.
52
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,203
But it's not always easy for me.
53
00:01:46,572 --> 00:01:48,874
I know. I know.
54
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,376
But you know
you're my angel, right?
55
00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:53,245
Yes, I do.
56
00:01:53,278 --> 00:01:55,314
But come on, this angel's
gotta cover her wings
57
00:01:55,347 --> 00:01:56,616
and get the halo outta here.
58
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,918
[chuckling]
Alright. You know what?
59
00:01:58,951 --> 00:02:00,285
‐ Alright, you can use this.
‐ What?
60
00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:01,754
‐ You like this? You like that?
‐ Mm.
61
00:02:01,787 --> 00:02:04,323
Damn, you look good
in my shirt.
62
00:02:04,356 --> 00:02:07,159
You know, maybe you should bring
a few of your own over here.
63
00:02:07,192 --> 00:02:08,661
‐ Really?
‐ I mean, yeah.
64
00:02:08,694 --> 00:02:10,530
You know, we are engaged.
65
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:13,465
I got a little bit
of extra closet space.
66
00:02:13,498 --> 00:02:16,536
And I was gonna
wear that shirt.
67
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,303
Baby, I'd love that
because, you know, that means
68
00:02:18,337 --> 00:02:19,672
that even when
we're not together
69
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:21,574
our little clothes
will be side by side.
70
00:02:21,607 --> 00:02:22,908
[chuckling]
I like that.
I like that.
71
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,844
‐ But I, I got‐I got one rule.
‐ What?
72
00:02:24,877 --> 00:02:27,647
You get to use the hangers
'cause the floor is all me.
73
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,182
Okay. Oh! Oh!
74
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,320
I know, I just need to put
a couple of things away
75
00:02:35,354 --> 00:02:37,690
'cause my fuca‐fuca‐fuca
days are over.
76
00:02:40,225 --> 00:02:42,194
Just put this in the garage.
77
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,531
Then, uh,
move these like that.
78
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:46,866
‐ 'Oh.'
‐ And then..
79
00:02:46,899 --> 00:02:48,834
That's all you, baby.
Get your space on.
80
00:02:50,469 --> 00:02:51,904
I'mma get my gloves on first.
81
00:02:55,941 --> 00:02:58,611
♪ Often I wish that we ♪
82
00:02:58,644 --> 00:03:00,946
♪ Could take the time to see ♪
83
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,248
♪ The need there is to be ♪
84
00:03:03,282 --> 00:03:05,685
♪ A family yeah ♪
85
00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:08,220
♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪
86
00:03:08,253 --> 00:03:10,590
♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪
87
00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,457
♪ Time and seasons change ♪
88
00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:14,894
♪ But we will still remain ♪
89
00:03:14,927 --> 00:03:17,496
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
90
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,865
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
91
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:22,868
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
92
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:25,905
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪
93
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,243
[instrumental music]
94
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,347
Tia, are you all done
with the crayons?
95
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,816
Oh, yeah. I am.
96
00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:39,484
Here you go, Lily.
97
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,586
What happened
to the rest of 'em?
98
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:41,621
What do you think happened?
99
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,822
She has the Peter the eater
100
00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:43,956
in her class.
101
00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:49,995
‐ How many did he have?
‐ Uh, six with a glue chaser.
102
00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:52,665
And after that he pretty much
kept his mouth shut.
103
00:03:53,966 --> 00:03:55,400
Later, guys.
104
00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:56,802
Girl, how hard is it for people
105
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:58,971
to pick up after themselves?
106
00:03:59,004 --> 00:04:01,807
At least Peter the eater
cleans his plate.
107
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,475
I'm not talking about
Peter the eater.
108
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:05,578
I'm talking about
Robert the slob‐ert.
109
00:04:05,611 --> 00:04:07,547
It's like he's ODB's
little brother.
110
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,515
"Oh, Really Dirty Bastard."
111
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:12,985
What, did you really think
112
00:04:13,018 --> 00:04:14,854
just because he looks
clean on TV
113
00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:17,957
he wasn't like every other
funky man, hmm?
114
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,559
Yeah, kinda.
115
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,893
Girl, now you know
116
00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:22,562
I have dated every size, shape
117
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,964
and shade of man there is.
118
00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:26,832
And let me tell you somethin',
they are all the same.
119
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:28,033
So you have two choices.
120
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,969
you either
change them yourself.
121
00:04:30,002 --> 00:04:31,504
Or you have five gay guys
122
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:33,338
do it for you on national TV.
123
00:04:34,406 --> 00:04:35,775
Uh‐uh, girl,
they would never
124
00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:37,910
come out of that closet, no.
125
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:39,679
[instrumental music]
126
00:04:42,381 --> 00:04:43,883
I know
we just started cleaning
127
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,385
but I feel
so much better already.
128
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:49,855
I don't. I don't believe you
suckered me into helping you.
129
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,692
Ah, that was easy.
You are nosey.
130
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:55,828
‐ Guess it's true.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
131
00:04:55,861 --> 00:04:58,698
‐ Hi, Tia. Hi, Ms. Abrahams.
‐ Aww. Oh, Bobby.
132
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:01,466
‐ What's up?
‐ How's my favorite student?
133
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:05,505
Good. I left my soccer shirt
upstairs, can I go get it?
134
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:07,439
Honey, this is your house
135
00:05:07,472 --> 00:05:09,008
you don't need
to ask permission.
136
00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:13,646
Well, I think it is sweet
137
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:16,115
that you have
such good manners, Bobby.
138
00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:17,482
Go ahead.
139
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:18,984
He got it from his mama.
140
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,354
And where, oh, where
141
00:05:22,387 --> 00:05:25,024
do his mama get hers?
142
00:05:25,057 --> 00:05:26,692
‐ Excuse me!
‐ Huh?
143
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,060
What're you doin'
with my baby's crib?
144
00:05:28,093 --> 00:05:29,829
Tryin' to put it
in the garage.
145
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:33,098
No. My son's crib
doesn't belong in the garage.
146
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:35,568
Well, there is no room
for it in the closet
147
00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:37,937
so, where do you suggest
I stick it?
148
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:39,138
In my trunk.
149
00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:40,606
[car lock beeps]
150
00:05:47,479 --> 00:05:49,381
Well, if you ask me
she look like
151
00:05:49,414 --> 00:05:51,617
she already got enough junk
in her trunk.
152
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:56,088
[instrumental music]
153
00:05:59,925 --> 00:06:01,761
‐ Damn, you look happy.
‐ Huh.
154
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,829
What Tia do to you
last night?
155
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,599
Come on, man. You know
I don't kiss and tell.
156
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:09,134
But she's lovin' me right now.
157
00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:11,837
Check it. I hooked her up
with some closet space.
158
00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:15,775
You crazy, man?
159
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,177
You don't give up
your real estate.
160
00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:20,045
Come on, man,
I'm just sharin' a closet.
161
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,947
No. You are not
sharing anything.
162
00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:25,518
Women don't share,
they dominate.
163
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:29,188
Do you think Ozzy Osbourne
wanted that flowery couch?
164
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:31,624
Come on, think.
This how it started with Neesee.
165
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:32,858
You shared a closet with her.
166
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,460
Now you share
your pre‐tax income.
167
00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:37,630
Yeah, well, that's not
gonna happen this time.
168
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,164
Well, don't be too sure.
169
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,800
In this country 100 percent
170
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,936
of all marriages
end in divorce.
171
00:06:43,969 --> 00:06:45,871
Dirk, that is not
a real statistic.
172
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,741
One hundred percent of
your marriages end in divorce.
173
00:06:48,774 --> 00:06:50,943
That's right.
I'm three for three.
174
00:06:50,976 --> 00:06:53,846
I'm one proud,
average American.
175
00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:55,881
Yeah, well, I'm not.
176
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,049
Really?
177
00:06:57,082 --> 00:06:59,585
Neesee?
You are one for one.
178
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,120
That's 100 percent, bruh.
179
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:07,960
This isn't a closet,
it's a time capsule.
180
00:07:07,993 --> 00:07:09,494
Hey, look.
181
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:12,532
Check out these hammer pants.
Ha‐ha!
182
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,000
Whoo! Can't touch those. Hm.
183
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,169
Girl, look at this stuff,
he's got torn clothes
184
00:07:17,202 --> 00:07:19,905
broken sports equipment,
old video tape.
185
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,675
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
186
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,510
Don't you wanna know
what's on this?
187
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,846
Well, it's unlabeled,
so it's probably blank.
188
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,047
Then this ought to be quick.
189
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,916
Ah, no, no.
We can't, no.
190
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,754
Tia, every man I've dated
has a closet.
191
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,190
And inside that closet
is always an unmarked tape.
192
00:07:38,223 --> 00:07:39,692
So, if you want to know your man
193
00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:43,062
you've got to watch that...tape.
194
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:46,832
[chuckles]
Well, that's not
a good enough reason.
195
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,634
How about to see
if the VCR works?
196
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,035
‐ After you.
‐ Okay.
197
00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:54,807
Tia, come on.
198
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:55,941
Girl, you so nosey.
199
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,610
Yes.
200
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,879
‐ I'm comin'.
‐ Okay. What is this?
201
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:01,280
Jheri curls, no teeth.
202
00:08:01,313 --> 00:08:02,915
Girl, it's
a Rick James convention.
203
00:08:02,948 --> 00:08:04,650
This is Robert
and Neesee's wedding.
204
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,052
Oh, damn.
Okay. Well, let's watch it.
205
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:15,160
Neesee looks so beautiful.
206
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:20,600
I'd like to propose
a toast, everybody.
207
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:22,234
[glass shatters]
208
00:08:22,267 --> 00:08:24,970
Mazel tov!
209
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:28,240
Hey, I know the day
that Robert met Neesee
210
00:08:28,273 --> 00:08:30,676
'cause that's the same day
211
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,712
that I met Wanda.
212
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:36,048
And Wanda was a freak, man.
213
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:38,050
‐ She had a big ol' a‐‐
‐ Hey.
214
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:42,688
You're supposed to drink
after the toast.
215
00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:47,860
Neesee, I remember
the first day I met you
216
00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:51,296
in Professor Sanders' class,
and I thought..
217
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,633
...there is no way
a pretty girl like that
218
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,568
would ever talk to me.
219
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:56,702
And I was right, y'all.
220
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,638
[laughs]
221
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,239
So, I had to kick it to you.
222
00:09:00,272 --> 00:09:03,042
And we've been kickin' it
ever since.
223
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,744
And we always will.
224
00:09:06,278 --> 00:09:07,580
(Robert)
Neesee..
225
00:09:09,281 --> 00:09:10,916
I never knew
I was looking for you
226
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,318
until I found you.
227
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:15,020
And I thank God for that.
228
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:18,323
Robert, you know,
you're my heart
229
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:21,627
my strength, my best friend.
230
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:24,196
You're my everything, man.
231
00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:27,867
And I can't wait to spend
the rest of my life with you.
232
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:28,968
‐ Mm.
‐ Mmh.
233
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:30,202
I love you, Boo.
234
00:09:30,235 --> 00:09:31,971
I love you too.
235
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:33,906
You know
you're my angel, right?
236
00:09:33,939 --> 00:09:35,207
(Neesee)
'Yes.'
237
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,945
[instrumental music]
238
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:44,584
You know, sweetie.
We don't have to watch this.
239
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:50,956
Ah. Yeah, I just‐just,
we just..
240
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,625
It's okay.
241
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:02,167
[upbeat music]
242
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,369
‐ Hey, baby.
‐ Hey, honey.
243
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,773
Alright, now.
244
00:10:09,441 --> 00:10:11,811
‐ Is there something wrong?
‐ No.
245
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,078
Why would you say that?
246
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,647
I don't know,
I mean, you seem a little‐‐
247
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,048
"A little" what?
248
00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:19,418
Beautiful?
249
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:21,821
Pretty as an angel, Boo.
250
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:25,925
Okay, piggyback.
251
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,361
‐ Robert, come on.
‐ Nuh‐uh, piggyback, girl.
252
00:10:29,394 --> 00:10:31,363
You're right, you're right,
this is definitely
253
00:10:31,396 --> 00:10:33,799
a piggyback moment,
but, honey, if I climb up there
254
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,968
right now, I might
bite your ear off like Tyson.
255
00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,303
Okay, let me just sort
my feelings. When..
256
00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:40,305
Ah, come on, baby.
Is this about the closet?
257
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:41,108
'Cause I can clean it.
258
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,888
I can take the crib
down to the garage
259
00:10:42,921 --> 00:10:43,922
right now if you want.
260
00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:44,956
No, the closet's clean.
261
00:10:44,990 --> 00:10:46,525
Crib's gone. Neesee took it.
262
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,760
Neesee what?
How could you let her take it?
263
00:10:48,794 --> 00:10:51,029
How could I let her?
Baby, it's her crib.
264
00:10:51,062 --> 00:10:52,398
She wanted it,
she took it.
265
00:10:52,431 --> 00:10:54,333
Why do you
have to keep everything?
266
00:10:54,366 --> 00:10:55,601
I don't keep everything.
267
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:57,035
I only keep
what's important to me.
268
00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:59,371
Okay, Robert,
there comes a time
269
00:10:59,405 --> 00:11:01,039
when you have to figure out
what stays.
270
00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:03,008
And what goes.
271
00:11:07,078 --> 00:11:08,780
Could you stay?
272
00:11:10,616 --> 00:11:12,751
[instrumental music]
273
00:11:14,853 --> 00:11:16,121
[knock on door]
274
00:11:16,155 --> 00:11:17,889
Daddy!
275
00:11:20,459 --> 00:11:22,661
Hey, hey, what's up, man?
276
00:11:22,694 --> 00:11:24,129
‐ How you doin'?
‐ Fine.
277
00:11:24,163 --> 00:11:26,031
‐ What's up, Neesee?
‐ Hey.
278
00:11:26,064 --> 00:11:28,967
So, how was soccer
practice today?
279
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,669
‐ Fine.
‐ Yeah?
280
00:11:30,702 --> 00:11:32,738
So, tell me what you said
to your coach.
281
00:11:32,771 --> 00:11:34,540
♪ Turn around
and let me see you go ♪
282
00:11:34,573 --> 00:11:36,842
♪ Bomp bomp bomp ♪♪♪
283
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:39,044
That's what I'm talking about.
284
00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:40,846
It is a lady coach, right?
285
00:11:41,747 --> 00:11:43,582
Hey, Bobby, listen..
286
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,517
...I think that
you're a great singer.
287
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:48,086
But there are certain songs
that mommy and daddy
288
00:11:48,119 --> 00:11:49,921
don't want you
to sing around adults.
289
00:11:49,955 --> 00:11:51,990
And that's one of them, okay?
290
00:11:53,492 --> 00:11:54,793
What's up, Robert?
291
00:11:54,826 --> 00:11:57,463
Ah! Just need to talk
a little bit.
292
00:11:57,496 --> 00:11:59,631
Okay, sweetie,
why don't you go to your room
293
00:11:59,665 --> 00:12:01,099
and get your jammies on
and mommy'll be there
294
00:12:01,132 --> 00:12:02,534
in a second to tuck you in.
295
00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:04,002
‐ Okay.
‐ Hey, hey, hey.
296
00:12:04,035 --> 00:12:05,837
You forgettin' somethin'?
Forgettin' somethin'?
297
00:12:05,871 --> 00:12:07,105
Talk to you tomorrow, alright?
298
00:12:07,138 --> 00:12:09,074
‐ Love you.
‐ Love you too.
299
00:12:10,709 --> 00:12:11,843
[chuckles]
300
00:12:17,616 --> 00:12:19,985
Neesee, I don't appreciate
you coming over
301
00:12:20,018 --> 00:12:21,520
to my house
and jackin' my crib.
302
00:12:21,553 --> 00:12:23,622
Robert, I ain't jack jack.
303
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,724
Your little girlfriend
was gonna put it on the curb.
304
00:12:25,757 --> 00:12:28,694
Correction, my fiancee,
soon‐to‐be‐wife
305
00:12:28,727 --> 00:12:30,962
was about to put it
in the garage.
306
00:12:30,996 --> 00:12:34,200
‐ Same smell.
‐ Huh.
307
00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:36,835
Look, Neesee,
what's yours is yours
308
00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:39,571
and what was mine
became yours.
309
00:12:39,605 --> 00:12:41,207
And I paid a gang of money
to an attorney
310
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,575
to keep whatever scraps
that was left over.
311
00:12:43,609 --> 00:12:45,043
Our son is not a scrap.
312
00:12:45,076 --> 00:12:46,912
And he does not belong
in a garage.
313
00:12:46,945 --> 00:12:48,780
I'm not talking about Bobby,
I'm talking about you
314
00:12:48,814 --> 00:12:50,482
comin' over to my house
and takin' something
315
00:12:50,516 --> 00:12:51,850
that does not belong to you.
316
00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:54,153
Look, you don't
give a damn about that crib.
317
00:12:54,186 --> 00:12:55,821
You just don't want me
to have it.
318
00:12:55,854 --> 00:12:57,556
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
319
00:12:57,589 --> 00:12:59,891
So you are listening.
320
00:12:59,925 --> 00:13:01,860
Stay outta my house, Neesee.
321
00:13:03,595 --> 00:13:05,063
Hey.
322
00:13:05,096 --> 00:13:07,533
That used to be my house too,
you know?
323
00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:10,101
AOL keyword, "Used to."
324
00:13:10,135 --> 00:13:13,805
Now, Google this, "You were the
one who gave it up, Neesee."
325
00:13:13,839 --> 00:13:15,707
Well, maybe because
I didn't wanna stay in a house
326
00:13:15,741 --> 00:13:18,644
with a chalk outline
of my marriage on the floor.
327
00:13:18,677 --> 00:13:20,779
Yeah, well, you were
the one who drew it.
328
00:13:23,114 --> 00:13:24,483
I'm takin' the crib.
329
00:13:24,516 --> 00:13:26,585
Ah, no, no.
Uh‐uh‐uh, huh, huh.
330
00:13:26,618 --> 00:13:28,854
You better think again.
331
00:13:28,887 --> 00:13:30,789
I'm thinkin'.
332
00:13:39,665 --> 00:13:42,634
[instrumental music]
333
00:13:42,668 --> 00:13:45,036
Live from Hollywood,
this is Mr. LA
334
00:13:45,070 --> 00:13:48,574
saying peace to you.
335
00:13:48,607 --> 00:13:49,908
(male #1)
'And clear!'
336
00:13:51,910 --> 00:13:54,913
That was the worst show ever.
337
00:13:54,946 --> 00:13:57,115
Really? You think
that was my worst show ever?
338
00:13:57,149 --> 00:13:59,518
I think, that was
the worst show ever
339
00:13:59,551 --> 00:14:01,787
in the history of television.
340
00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:02,988
What's goin' on with you?
341
00:14:03,021 --> 00:14:04,590
Man, I'm just worn out
from goin'
342
00:14:04,623 --> 00:14:06,525
fifteen rounds with Neesee.
343
00:14:06,558 --> 00:14:07,826
She tried to take my crib.
344
00:14:07,859 --> 00:14:10,095
She tried to take your house?
345
00:14:10,128 --> 00:14:11,830
No, Bobby's crib.
346
00:14:11,863 --> 00:14:14,633
‐ And then Tia spun out.
‐ What'd you do?
347
00:14:14,666 --> 00:14:17,269
I didn't do nothin'. She's mad
at me for no reason, Dirk.
348
00:14:17,303 --> 00:14:18,870
Brother, there's always
a reason.
349
00:14:18,904 --> 00:14:21,940
Phone number in your pocket,
glitter on your cheek..
350
00:14:21,973 --> 00:14:24,109
...lab results.
351
00:14:24,142 --> 00:14:27,078
Dirk, your past
is not helping me
352
00:14:27,112 --> 00:14:28,814
figure out why
Tia's mad at me.
353
00:14:28,847 --> 00:14:30,716
She probably just mad 'cause
you took my advice and told her
354
00:14:30,749 --> 00:14:32,218
to keep her stuff
out of your closet.
355
00:14:32,251 --> 00:14:33,885
Yeah, but I didn't,
when I got home
356
00:14:33,919 --> 00:14:35,221
she had already cleaned it out.
357
00:14:35,254 --> 00:14:37,589
See, I knew givin' a freeway
into your closet
358
00:14:37,623 --> 00:14:38,890
was your first mistake.
359
00:14:38,924 --> 00:14:40,326
‐ What was my second?
‐ Shoot!
360
00:14:40,359 --> 00:14:42,828
First one's so bad
I'mma count it twice.
361
00:14:42,861 --> 00:14:44,563
She obviously spent all
afternoon going through
362
00:14:44,596 --> 00:14:46,732
your closet, found something
that pissed her off.
363
00:14:46,765 --> 00:14:48,934
Classic "Bluebeard."
364
00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:50,101
Bluebeard?
365
00:14:50,135 --> 00:14:51,903
"Bluebeard." The Fable?
366
00:14:51,937 --> 00:14:53,305
Pirate dude. Had a castle.
367
00:14:53,339 --> 00:14:55,106
Gave his wife
the keys to every room.
368
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,176
Told her she could go
in all of 'em except for one.
369
00:14:57,209 --> 00:14:58,877
As soon as
he hit the high seas
370
00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:01,146
home‐girl hightailed it
to that room.
371
00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:02,214
And you know
what was in there?
372
00:15:02,248 --> 00:15:05,217
The end of this story,
I hope.
373
00:15:05,251 --> 00:15:07,953
The bones of all
his other nosey ass wives.
374
00:15:07,986 --> 00:15:10,189
[chuckles]
375
00:15:10,222 --> 00:15:12,324
What's your point, Dirk?
I should kill Tia?
376
00:15:12,358 --> 00:15:15,927
No. Women snoop.
You gave Tia a key.
377
00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:17,663
She found a skeleton
in your closet.
378
00:15:17,696 --> 00:15:20,999
Yeah, well,
I don't have any skeletons.
379
00:15:21,032 --> 00:15:23,335
Oh, my God!
The tape!
380
00:15:23,369 --> 00:15:25,003
Tia found the sex tape.
381
00:15:25,036 --> 00:15:26,972
You got a sex tape,
you didn't make me a copy?
382
00:15:28,106 --> 00:15:29,341
It's of me and Neesee.
383
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,776
You got a sex tape
of you and Neesee
384
00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:32,878
you didn't make me a copy?
385
00:15:32,911 --> 00:15:35,614
Could you be serious?
I got a problem here, man.
386
00:15:35,647 --> 00:15:37,183
I know you do, how could you
leave something like that
387
00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:38,917
in your house
where Tia could find it?
388
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,153
I forgot I even had it.
I only watched it once.
389
00:15:41,187 --> 00:15:43,121
Once? Why?
390
00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:45,924
Here's a tip.
391
00:15:45,957 --> 00:15:49,328
If you are gonna make
a sex tape, don't be on top
392
00:15:49,361 --> 00:15:52,298
or you'll spend 20 minutes
starin' at your own ass.
393
00:15:57,836 --> 00:16:00,239
[instrumental music]
394
00:16:03,942 --> 00:16:06,111
[knock on door]
395
00:16:06,144 --> 00:16:07,279
Thanks for coming by, baby.
396
00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:08,314
You're welcome.
397
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,183
[sighs]
398
00:16:11,217 --> 00:16:13,219
I know you found the tape.
399
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,223
You know, you should
have said somethin', baby.
400
00:16:17,256 --> 00:16:18,690
I know, but..
401
00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:21,660
It was so romantic
and you were so..
402
00:16:21,693 --> 00:16:23,962
...into her.
403
00:16:23,995 --> 00:16:26,265
Yeah, well the cameras
come on and..
404
00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:28,400
...you just perform.
405
00:16:28,434 --> 00:16:30,336
Oh, no, baby.
That was no performance.
406
00:16:30,369 --> 00:16:31,703
And Neesee?
407
00:16:31,737 --> 00:16:32,738
I mean, I'm used to her
408
00:16:32,771 --> 00:16:33,972
looking at you with disgust.
409
00:16:34,005 --> 00:16:36,275
But there was pure joy
in her eyes.
410
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:38,244
And why wouldn't it be?
411
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:41,947
Near the end
when all that love
412
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:44,082
came pourin' out of you..
413
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,925
What part of the tape
were you watchin'?
414
00:16:55,794 --> 00:16:57,263
I was watchin' the wedding.
Well, no.
415
00:16:57,296 --> 00:16:58,997
Actually,
it was just the reception.
416
00:17:00,432 --> 00:17:02,401
The wedding video.
417
00:17:02,434 --> 00:17:04,102
Yeah.
418
00:17:05,136 --> 00:17:07,072
[laughing]
419
00:17:08,307 --> 00:17:10,942
[both laughing]
420
00:17:12,278 --> 00:17:14,346
‐ What?
‐ Nothin', nothin', nothin'.
421
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,248
Oh, no, no, no. Piggyback.
422
00:17:16,282 --> 00:17:17,483
Uh‐huh, uh‐huh, uh‐huh.
423
00:17:17,516 --> 00:17:19,117
Baby, girls can't call
piggyback.
424
00:17:19,151 --> 00:17:20,386
Only guys
can call piggyback.
425
00:17:20,419 --> 00:17:22,087
Come on. Man up, let's go.
426
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:25,857
No, it's.. No, it's cool.
It's cool. It's cool. It's cool.
427
00:17:25,891 --> 00:17:28,026
‐ Okay.
‐ Alright.
428
00:17:30,896 --> 00:17:33,165
I thought you seen the sex tape
with me and Neesee.
429
00:17:33,199 --> 00:17:35,367
Woo! Uh‐huh.
430
00:17:35,401 --> 00:17:36,935
Robert, okay.
431
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:40,306
Um, okay.
That's okay. It's..
432
00:17:40,339 --> 00:17:43,275
That just means there's two
tapes you need to get rid of.
433
00:17:44,543 --> 00:17:46,144
Well, I don't even know
434
00:17:46,178 --> 00:17:48,780
where the sex tape is..
435
00:17:48,814 --> 00:17:50,882
...but the wedding video
stays, babe.
436
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:54,920
Look, that's my life
and my history.
437
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:57,789
It contributed to the man
that you fell in love with.
438
00:17:57,823 --> 00:17:59,791
Just like your history
contributed to the woman
439
00:17:59,825 --> 00:18:01,227
I fell in love with.
440
00:18:02,494 --> 00:18:04,029
Okay.
441
00:18:04,062 --> 00:18:06,865
But, sweetie,
you called Neesee angel.
442
00:18:06,898 --> 00:18:08,434
That's what you call me.
443
00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:12,171
Grandfather used to call
my grandmother that.
444
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:15,974
Oh, baby, that's sweet, but..
445
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,744
...I'd like my own
pet name, okay?
446
00:18:20,812 --> 00:18:21,947
We could do that.
447
00:18:23,282 --> 00:18:25,347
How about "thickums?"
448
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,782
‐ No.
‐ Now then..
449
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,817
‐ How about, uh, "sugar tush?"
‐ Sugar tush?
450
00:18:28,851 --> 00:18:31,319
‐ Huh? You like that?
‐ I am sweet like that.
451
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,361
Oh, God.
452
00:18:41,530 --> 00:18:43,231
Could you try knocking
next time?
453
00:18:43,265 --> 00:18:47,670
You know what, I came over here
to bring you your crib back.
454
00:18:47,703 --> 00:18:49,404
Because I didn't want you
comin' into my house
455
00:18:49,437 --> 00:18:51,206
tryin' to take my stuff.
456
00:18:51,239 --> 00:18:53,108
But, oh, I wanna let you know.
457
00:18:53,141 --> 00:18:55,611
I think you're being
real petty.
458
00:18:56,779 --> 00:18:59,482
Uh, Neesee, wait, wait.
459
00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:01,484
Baby, you don't even
want that crib
460
00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:03,586
so, why don't you just
let her have it?
461
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,689
Well, maybe if she asks me.
462
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,726
Neesee, is there something
463
00:19:10,759 --> 00:19:13,195
you would like to ask Robert?
464
00:19:14,897 --> 00:19:16,699
Yeah.
465
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:20,836
Robert..
466
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,739
...you think..
467
00:19:23,772 --> 00:19:25,340
...your girlfriend
can get this back in my trunk
468
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,742
without scratchin' the paint?
469
00:19:26,775 --> 00:19:29,111
[car lock beeps]
470
00:19:37,753 --> 00:19:40,322
Yeah, I'mma go out there
and scratch somethin'.
471
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,397
[chuckles]
472
00:19:49,431 --> 00:19:51,687
Baby, you just cannot get enough
473
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,321
of this wedding video, can you?
474
00:19:53,355 --> 00:19:55,591
Please, I'm just tryin' to see
what I am marrying into.
475
00:19:55,624 --> 00:19:58,627
Okay, so now, who's this guy
flossin' in the dashiki?
476
00:19:58,661 --> 00:20:00,128
That's my Uncle Ernie,
but don't worry.
477
00:20:00,162 --> 00:20:01,464
He's not coming
to our wedding.
478
00:20:01,497 --> 00:20:03,766
Unless we get married
in three to five.
479
00:20:03,799 --> 00:20:06,569
And the fat guy
in the wheel chair, who is he?
480
00:20:06,602 --> 00:20:08,371
That's my Aunt Myrtle.
481
00:20:08,404 --> 00:20:09,738
She's a hell of a cook.
482
00:20:09,772 --> 00:20:12,307
Now, see, now those people
are dressed nicely.
483
00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,877
‐ Okay, who are they?
‐ Waiters.
484
00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:18,146
You know what, let's just
do this some other time.
485
00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:20,449
I think that's a good idea.
486
00:20:20,483 --> 00:20:21,484
‐ Hey.
‐ What?
487
00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:22,885
Let's practice the honeymoon.
488
00:20:22,918 --> 00:20:24,820
Yeah.
489
00:20:24,853 --> 00:20:26,789
[instrumental music]
490
00:20:29,291 --> 00:20:31,527
[theme music]
34885
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