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1
00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:05,239
Ah, shoot.
2
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,840
I was going to go
outside this weekend.
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,343
Maybe the weather's better
on channel seven.
4
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,411
Hey, Alison.
5
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:11,545
Okay, here's
your book report.
6
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:12,713
It's a guaranteed "A."
7
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:13,914
Thank you.
8
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,317
Oh, I totally
forgot to do mine.
9
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:19,220
And I can't afford to get
another "F."
10
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,454
No problem.
11
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,325
Now we'll both
get "C's."
12
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:28,196
♪ Yes, no, maybe
13
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,398
♪ I don't know
14
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,734
♪ Can you repeat the question?
15
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,003
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,406
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
17
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,741
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
18
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,910
♪ And you're not so big
19
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,413
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
20
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,415
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
21
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,917
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
22
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,720
♪ And you're not so big
23
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:57,425
♪ Life is unfair.
24
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,833
Malcolm! Briefcase!
25
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,736
Dewey! Work pants! Ready.
26
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,138
Reese! Vest!
27
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,906
Mom's baby doctor won't let her
come home for a few weeks,
28
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,609
and since she's not working,
Dad had to get a second job.
29
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:16,677
It's really crazy.
30
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,753
But mostly, it's just funny.
31
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,289
I have hired a new baby-sitter
for you boys.
32
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,823
She should be here any minute.
33
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,459
What?! What do we need
a baby-sitter for?
34
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,727
Because I want to house
to be where I left it.
35
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,095
There she is.
36
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,198
Jessica?
Hi.
37
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,135
Hi, Reese. Hi, Malcolm.
38
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,336
You know each other?
39
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:43,971
She's in my class, Dad.
40
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,406
She's a year
younger than me.
41
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,507
I'll be darned.
42
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:47,808
No way is she baby-sitting.
43
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:48,842
She's younger than me.
44
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,010
She's older than me.
45
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,078
Shut up, Dewey.
46
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,580
Look, kids,
I'm sorry for the mix-up,
47
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,482
but today is my first day,
and I can't be late.
48
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,083
So we're just going
to have to pull together
49
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,017
and make
the best of it.
50
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,486
It's going to be
a little embarrassing,
51
00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,920
I'll grant you that,
52
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,822
but ten years from now
you'll look back and laugh.
53
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,258
In college, I had
a poli-sci teacher who was
54
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:05,959
worst dresser in the world.
55
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,596
Why, he was always taking
so much time to get ready...
56
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,701
Wow, this is weird.
57
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:16,570
So, you go set the table,
and you two wash up for dinner.
58
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,442
ALL:
Okay.
59
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,611
Excuse me.
This is so exciting.
60
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,446
Oh, look, a light.
61
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,782
And-and what are these
marvelous things?
62
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,484
C clamps.
The C clamp!
63
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:34,555
Oh, Otto, it's like a dream.
64
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,690
Oh, Francis, what
a brilliant idea,
65
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:39,393
opening our doors
to the film industry.
66
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:40,628
It was no big deal.
67
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,230
When Patrick said he wanted
to direct a movie here,
68
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,731
all I said was, "Sure."
69
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,566
It's not like it's
a big budget movie or anything.
70
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,668
Don't belittle yourself,
Francis.
71
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,570
They will tell their
friends at the Brown Derby.
72
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:50,904
Soon, bigger movies will come.
73
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:54,842
And one day I will be
fluffing the pillow
74
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,878
of Mr. Rutger Hauer.
75
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:02,883
Excuse me.
76
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,652
Are you an actress?
Guilty.
77
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,819
I knew it. I've seen
you in something.
78
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,721
I know I have.
What was it?
79
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:08,756
Dirty Girls Down Under.
80
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,224
Yes!
81
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,525
No.
82
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,826
That's the one I always get.
83
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,863
I won a Bootie Award for
the Best Girl-On-Girl scene.
84
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,533
This is it?
85
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,568
No!
86
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,843
Oh, Otto!
87
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,679
No.
88
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,548
No, no, no, no.
89
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,584
MAN:
All right, listen up.
90
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,452
I want you guys
to meet Hal.
91
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:39,887
Hi.
Hey.
92
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,121
Hi, guys.
93
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,523
These are the idiots.
94
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,991
They're totally useless.
95
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,760
I'm serious.
Whatever they do,
96
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:47,995
you do the opposite.
97
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,735
I don't know
what that was about,
98
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,604
but I'm looking forward
to working with you guys.
99
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:57,938
I'm sure you can teach me a lot.
100
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:58,939
Can you help me?
101
00:03:58,972 --> 00:03:59,940
Oh, sure, ma'am.
102
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,810
Is this a clock radio
or just a radio?
103
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,978
Oh, uh, uh,
it's a clock radio.
104
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,580
It's also a CD player.
105
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:07,615
Oh, thank you.
106
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:08,749
You're welcome.
107
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:10,718
Did you see that?
108
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,553
Did either of you
idiots see that?
109
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,755
This guy's been on the job
two minutes, already he's done
110
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,124
more than the two of you
jackasses put together.
111
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,926
I-I just read the sign.
112
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,129
Either of you chowder heads
ever bother to read a sign?
113
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:24,064
No, unlike you shiftless losers,
114
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,099
this is a man
who's going to get me
115
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,068
out of the hellhole of
assistant night manager!
116
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,837
Thank you.
117
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,644
So you guys have
a softball team?
118
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,648
I don't understand
what relative density is.
119
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,282
It's the weight of an object
compared to the weight
120
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,584
of an equal volume of water.
121
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,085
Oh, neat.
122
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,521
Reese, you have
the next bath after Dewey.
123
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:48,956
Two more
minutes, Dewey.
124
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:49,957
DEWEY:
Okay.
125
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,425
You can't make me take a bath.
126
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,494
I'll go outside and
roll in the mud,
127
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,128
and I'll go to
bed that way.
128
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,597
Come on, be a big boy.
129
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,832
I'll take the tugboat,
and you can have the ducky.
130
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,000
You think this is funny?
131
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,034
It's kind of funny.
132
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,670
Reese, I'll make
you a deal.
133
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,538
Help me with the dishes, and
I won't make you take a bath.
134
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,340
You can't make me do anything!
135
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:09,343
Boy, Alison was right
about your temper.
136
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:10,878
What are you talking about?
137
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,446
Oh, she was kind of
saying that you were...
138
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,048
You know what? Never mind.
139
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,049
Is she mad at me?
140
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,485
I wouldn't say mad.
141
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,219
What'd she say?
142
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:20,554
I probably shouldn't.
143
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,122
No, no, no,
you have to.
144
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,323
Give me that.
145
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,527
Well, it wasn't really
what she said.
146
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,396
It was more
the w she said it.
147
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,898
Oh, that's baked on. You'll need
some cleanser for that.
148
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,299
Oh, okay.
149
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,468
Go on.
150
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:38,606
Okay, Reese is easy,
but she's good.
151
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,074
Otto...
Ooh, Francis.
152
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,209
There's a problem
with this film.
153
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,211
We heard about the actors
that didn't show up,
154
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,413
but don't worry.
155
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,081
They gave the part
to Gretchen.
156
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,217
What?! No!
157
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,318
It's not a big part.
158
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,487
I just walk in und say,
159
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:56,590
"Looks like we're going
to need more towels."
160
00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,191
Und then I walk out.
161
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,594
Do you have any idea
what kind of a movie this is?
162
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,830
So it's an
independent film.
163
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,033
If the Sundance Film Festival
has taught us anything,
164
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:10,103
it is that the low budget film
can compete with the big boys.
165
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,839
But this...
It doesn't matter
166
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,574
what kind of movie it is.
167
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:18,679
It makes me feel so-so good,
you know?
168
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,748
I guess, like any little girl,
169
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,082
I had dreams, ja,
170
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,084
but they said I
wasn't pretty enough,
171
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,086
and they said I
wasn't smart enough.
172
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,589
Your mother was
a jealous cow.
173
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,624
Thank you, Francis.
174
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,960
I owe it all to you.
175
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,596
Dad doesn't have time
to find us a new baby-sitter,
176
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:38,532
so we're stuck with Jessica,
which is fine with me.
177
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,401
I don't plan on spending
any time here anyway.
178
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:42,936
Dewey, what are
you eating?
179
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,738
Carrot sticks.
180
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,240
Jessica says
we have to eat healthier.
181
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,644
I don't what company
makes this stuff, but I hate it.
182
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,448
Reese?
Don't step on the floor.
183
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,416
Jessica said
if I scrubbed the floor,
184
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,085
she'd tell me how far Alison's
willing to go with me.
185
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,920
JESSICA:
Oh, hi, Malcolm.
186
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,722
Listen, I need you to make
a salad and set the table.
187
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,890
Oh, that's interesting.
188
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,157
I need you to do it yourself
189
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,425
because I'm going to a movie.
190
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,794
On a school night?
191
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,162
You really think
Hal would want you to?
192
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,498
Well, he's not here,
193
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,633
so if I want to go to a movie,
I'll go to a movie.
194
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,434
You know, Malcolm,
I think Hal looks to you...
195
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,003
Stop calling
him Hal.
196
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,606
Look, don't think
you can control me
197
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,173
the way you can these two.
198
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:21,942
What are you talking about?
199
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,577
I'm not saying
you don't have some skills.
200
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:24,845
They're just wasted on me.
201
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,079
I'm smarter than you.
202
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,115
Smarter how?
203
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,083
My brain just works
differently, okay?
204
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,419
I can see what you're
doing and what you're
planning at the same time.
205
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,188
So what, you have, like,
two brains?
206
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,456
Of course not!
207
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,991
Nobody has two brains.
208
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,960
Look, do you know how
multitasking works
209
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,028
on a computer?
210
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:43,997
Here, I'll draw
you a diagram.
211
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,867
Let's say this circle
is your conscious mind
212
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,802
during a normal conversation.
213
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,004
This intersecting circle
represents another track.
214
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,172
Not opposed
to the first...
215
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,941
Wait, wait, wait.
Slow down.
216
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,977
For lack of a better term,
we'll call this track subtext.
217
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,612
Now, with my brain,
218
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,313
there can be four tracks
going at one time,
219
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,649
plus one supervisor track
that keeps them all in line,
220
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,183
unless you're
talking about...
221
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,120
Hey, guys.
222
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,322
So, when you're not at work,
what do you do for fun?
223
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,357
Nothing.
224
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,960
Yeah, me, too. Word.
225
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,730
I hold in my hand two
tickets to Ozzfest.
226
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:19,032
They go to our
tops salesman of the month.
227
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,801
Hal!
228
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,035
What?
Oh, man.
229
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,571
You guys are pathetic.
230
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,405
He beat you in one day.
231
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:28,308
I just got lucky.
232
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,843
Hey, you know what?
I really can't use these.
233
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,078
If you guys
want to go...
Oh, no,
234
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,044
I gave those
tickets to you.
235
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:33,113
They're
nontransferable.
236
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,884
We can't reward
these idiots
237
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,020
for standing around
doing nothing!
238
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,655
Randy, let me...
239
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,425
Randy, I'm not trying
to tell you how to
do your job,
240
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,427
but sometimes
a little...
241
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,901
Are-are-are they
doing that at me?
242
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,569
You know what that sound is?
243
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:58,405
That's the sound of success.
244
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,008
And sometimes
my thoughts are,
245
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,342
like, three-dimensional.
246
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,777
I can almost reach out
and touch them.
247
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,212
Or they could just be
pure logic, like...
248
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,347
Malcolm, it's getting late.
249
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,716
Is it?
250
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,084
Oh, man, the movie
was over an hour ago.
251
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,452
Huh.
252
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,421
Well, anyway, I'm glad to know
253
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,824
how much smarter
you are than me.
254
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,299
Okay, Jessica has taken over
the house,
255
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,201
and we need to get it back.
256
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,569
She can't get
away with this.
257
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,805
Once she finishes laying out
our clothes for tomorrow,
258
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:32,873
she's dead meat.
259
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,742
No more early bedtimes,
260
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,577
and no more being
a Clean Plate Ranger.
261
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:38,646
Then we're agreed...
262
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,080
it ends now.
263
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:44,151
You know, I
really am tired.
264
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:47,721
Me, too. 8:00 is pretty late.
265
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,723
And I'm really much better
at making someone dead meat
266
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,224
after I've had
a good night's sleep.
267
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,259
But tomorrow...
268
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,426
She's going down.
269
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,795
No question.
270
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,698
:
Did everyone brush our teeth?
271
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,569
Excuse me, Patrick?
272
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,604
Can I talk to you
about Gretchen?
273
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:05,639
I love Gretchen.
274
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:06,807
She's just like my mom,
275
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,776
except she's not
a 60-year-old stripper.
276
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,410
Look, I didn't know
when I booked your company
277
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,612
that you made... porn.
278
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,081
My problem is Gretchen
279
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,116
really has her heart
set on doing this, and...
280
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,584
I don't want to call
the police.
281
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,286
Oh, I get it.
282
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,989
So, what's your pleasure--
Debbie or Lance?
283
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,324
No! No, that's not
what I'm talking about.
284
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,826
I just have
a little rewrite.
285
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:26,827
Rewrite?
286
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,029
Let me explain something
to you--
287
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,998
these people are not actors.
288
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,300
You can't just change
the words on them
at the last second.
289
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,002
Just look it over.
It's only a little different.
290
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,105
Uh, Sicilian volcano,
four letters.
291
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,039
Etna.
292
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,607
A-T...
293
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,676
E-T-N-A.
294
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:46,046
We haven't managed
to get rid of Jessica yet,
295
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,782
but we've been putting
the screws to her pretty good.
296
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,317
It's just a question of time.
297
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,551
Your tea.
298
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,787
Thank you, Malcolm.
299
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,022
Isn't he sweet?
300
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,225
All right, boys, bedtime!
301
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,227
No way!
302
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,964
No, I want to stay up
and do more sew...
303
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,632
Oh, my God!
304
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,235
Boys. They're overtired.
305
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,237
:
Excuse me.
306
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,642
All right. Get your butts
in your bed right now,
307
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,144
or I'll tell
everyone you know...
308
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,512
that you walk around
in your mother's shoes.
309
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,681
But that's a secret!
310
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,150
And I'll tell Alison
311
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,584
you spent an hour
on the phone with Cindy Reid.
312
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,988
Oh, now it's a crime
to be a good listener?
313
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:32,359
And a certain boy genius takes
Pro-Gro Bodybuilding Supplement.
314
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,226
I do not.
315
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:39,933
"Bulk up now,
watch the ladies say wow."
316
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,701
No one will believe you.
317
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,670
Maybe not. We'll just leave it
to the tough,
318
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,206
but always fair, court
of high school public opinion.
319
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,110
For the love of God,
320
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,344
it's 7:30.
321
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,446
We're supposed
to be tougher than her.
322
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,215
Well, Malcolm's supposed
to be smarter than her.
323
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,349
I am smarter
than her.
324
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,919
She just caught me off
guard a couple of times.
325
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,453
I'll come up
with something.
326
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:03,957
Something heinous,
something brutal.
327
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:05,358
Dewey, get your
footy pajamas.
328
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,459
I'm not wearing those.
329
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,428
Do you want to spend
the rest of your life
330
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,731
trying to remember what
chocolate tastes like?
331
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,636
And take
Professor Cuddles.
332
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,712
Dewey, what are
you doing up?
333
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:32,119
I'm trying to be a big boy,
but... I miss my mommy.
334
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,720
:
Aww...
335
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,355
Come here, honey.
336
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,691
Awww...
337
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,496
:
Okay, he's asleep.
338
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,798
Whose turn was it?
339
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,499
Yours. Truth or dare?
340
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,135
Truth.
341
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:51,171
What is your deepest,
darkest secret?
342
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,505
Well...
343
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,177
CLERK:
Attention shoppers:
the store is now closed.
344
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,478
Please bring your purchases...
345
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,081
I mean, don't I seem
likable to you?
346
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,916
I don't seem like
a suck-up, do I?
347
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,118
Throughout our conversation
here, I haven't used
348
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,987
any unnecessary
compliments, have I?
349
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,488
I just want a toaster.
350
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,756
I haven't once said
351
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,624
that you have a
square jaw or a
beautiful voice.
352
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:12,993
Even if I think so,
353
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,261
I didn't say it.
354
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,262
Hang on a second.
355
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,330
Hey... hey, guys. Guys!
356
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,799
Hey, hey, you want
to go get a beer?
357
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,001
I'm buying.
358
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,535
We kind
of have plans.
359
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,137
Oh. Where you going?
360
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,606
Party. I mean, nowhere.
361
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,041
Nowhere interesting.
362
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,809
You know, just some
other guys...
363
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,879
From work.
364
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,346
Hey! Well, I'm
a guy from work.
365
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:34,948
Uh, why don't I
follow you there?
366
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,349
That sounds like
a lot of fun.
367
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,617
Yeah, okay.
368
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,819
:
Way to go.
369
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:47,861
Randy, I-I know you
asked me to help
you close up,
370
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:49,629
but I'm feeling
a little bit ill.
371
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,031
You want to go to that party.
372
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,499
No, no, I...
373
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,067
Hal, look, I don't
know why you care
374
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,368
what those guys think,
375
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,204
but I'm going to protect
you from yourself.
376
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,305
I'm really not
feeling well.
377
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,739
Hal, you need
to make a choice.
378
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,708
Do you really want
to jeopardize your job
379
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:02,742
just to make friends
380
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,444
with a bunch
of brain-dead idiots?
381
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:06,880
Guys!
382
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,415
Wait up!
383
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,151
I won't let you do it, Hal!
384
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:41,548
I can't believe they're
letting us watch them film.
385
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,917
Okay, and uh...
386
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,585
action!
387
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,626
Room service.
388
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:57,597
Mmm, I really
need some service.
389
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,032
Where do you
want me to...
390
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,633
put it?
391
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,704
Anywhere you want to... put it.
392
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,839
Well, I want to put it here.
393
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,810
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
394
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,212
And...
395
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,713
here.
396
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,648
Yeah, that's even better.
397
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,252
Mmm. Yeah.
398
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,955
Can anyone join in?!
399
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:26,326
Yeah.
400
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,927
That's it.
401
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,667
You're the best.
402
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:42,342
Looks like we're going
to need more towels!
403
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,510
And cut.
404
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,777
Bravo!
405
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,581
Can we get back
to work now?
406
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,517
I'm shooting my sister's
wedding in six hours.
407
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:51,518
Sure. Thank you.
408
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,519
OTTO:
The cinema
409
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,821
has a brilliant
new light,
410
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,823
and her name is
Gretchen Mannkusser.
411
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,858
Oh, Otto!
412
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,193
You were great.
413
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,995
Really?
I don't know.
414
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:04,597
I found that whole scene
was kind of stupid
415
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,033
and pointless.
416
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,101
You know what
would have helped?
417
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,136
Some sex.
418
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,503
Ja, ja, ja.
419
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:13,440
:
But you know
these Americans--
420
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,642
they have lots
of hang-ups, eh?
421
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,178
Night.
422
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,546
Oh, come back tomorrow.
423
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,981
I'll have the boys
make stroganoff.
424
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,220
Dewey, I thought
you were asleep.
425
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,456
You thought a lot of things.
426
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,624
What are you boys doing dressed?
427
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,193
You want
to handle this?
428
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,494
Oh, yeah.
429
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,462
Where are you going?
430
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,464
Come back here!
431
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,731
I'm calling Alison!
432
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,300
Are you going to tell her
you said she was stupid,
433
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,169
and you're only friends with her
to borrow her clothes?
434
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,171
Why, you little...
435
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,638
Or would you rather
call your parents
436
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:46,839
and tell them
you're the one
437
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,175
who stole your
grandmother's ring?
438
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,478
Okay, here's how
it's going to work:
439
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,512
Reese and I
are going out,
440
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,513
and you're gonna
tell my dad
441
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,514
we were here
the whole time.
442
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:55,748
You're gonna stay
here with Dewey,
443
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:56,916
and wait on him
hand and foot.
444
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,918
I want a sundae
and then some pizza.
445
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:01,621
And then another pizza
and then a pizza sundae.
446
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,992
Let's face it--
you had this coming.
447
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,396
If I were you,
I'd learn something from this.
448
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,564
You have to realize
when you're over-matched.
449
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,666
What are you doing?
450
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:18,204
:
Just get out of here.
451
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:22,040
Hey, you're the one who...
452
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,742
Look, don't cry.
453
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,378
I can do whatever I want.
I'm horrible.
454
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:30,117
Everybody hates me.
455
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,084
No, they don't.
456
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,119
Well, they should.
457
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:36,356
I don't know why
I'm like this. I just...
458
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:43,463
It's okay...
it's okay.
459
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,541
Hey, guys.
460
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,776
:
Sure beats the hell
461
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,145
out of working,
am I right?
462
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,812
Don't you have
a family?
463
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:03,983
Hey! Who's up for
a Tijuana carwash, huh?
464
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,918
Right here.
Yeah, me, too, me, too!
465
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,087
I am totally up
for a Tijuana car wash.
466
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:10,823
Dude, have you ever done
a Tijuana car wash?
467
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,426
Have I ever done
a Tijuana carwash?
468
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,461
Okay, him first.
469
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,666
ALL:
Car wash, car wash!
470
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,260
Yeah! Yeah!
471
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,329
That was
awesome, man!
472
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:52,499
Whoo, that
was hilarious!
473
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,334
That was
hilarious.
474
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,669
:
I can't believe
you did that.
475
00:18:56,703 --> 00:19:01,107
Well, you know...
party guy... me.
476
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,210
:
Can I get you a beer?
477
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,211
I'm good.
478
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,446
Everyone get out of here!
479
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,149
My parents are back from Maui!
480
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,134
SETH:
Did they see you?
481
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,503
I don't think so.
482
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,873
What am I doing?
483
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,643
What the hell am I doing?
484
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,479
There's no reason
for me to be here.
485
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,214
You're an idiot.
486
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,850
Your friends are idiots.
487
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,719
Everyone jammed into
this playhouse is an idiot.
488
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:50,923
:
You just called
yourself an idiot.
489
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,726
I think I'm going
to be sick.
490
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:57,664
I know you guys.
491
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,433
I used to be one of you
before my family.
492
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,869
Now thanks to them, I know
what's really important,
493
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,537
and it's not what
you think of me,
494
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:05,872
it's what they think of me.
495
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,608
Thank God for my wife.
496
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,343
Thank God for my kids.
497
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,912
BOY:
You're welcome.
498
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,049
Reese?
499
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,886
Can I get a ride home with you?
500
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,555
I used to think
I was so smart.
501
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,357
But I'm just selfish.
502
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,592
Here.
503
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,193
Drink this.
504
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,029
Thank you.
505
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,398
I'll tell you
one thing--
506
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,367
you made me take
a good, hard
look at myself,
507
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,202
and I don't like
what I see.
508
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,137
Look, you're not a bad person.
509
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,607
I didn't mean
to put you through this.
510
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,442
I was just trying to...
HAL:
We're back!
511
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,446
Dad, Reese, what are you...?
512
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:47,780
What time is it?
513
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,282
Listen, Jessica,
you've been a big help,
514
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:50,950
but tonight's going to be
your last night.
515
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,820
I don't have that
job anymore-- sorry.
516
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:54,887
It's okay.
517
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:55,988
It was a lot
of fun.
518
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,724
They're good kids.
519
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,925
Bye.
520
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,126
Wh...
All right,
521
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,260
the two of you-- get to bed.
522
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,097
Dude, you missed
an awesome party.
523
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,071
Wait, she didn't...
524
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,474
I'm smarter than...
525
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,443
She...
526
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,979
Okay, I'm just going to call it
a tie and go to bed.
35988
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