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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,253
So apparently,
there's a risk
2
00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:05,130
of extra blood loss
with a cesarean section,
3
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:08,759
but Dr. Howard is pretty sure
I can deliver vaginally.
4
00:00:08,801 --> 00:00:10,051
He says I have
5
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,345
a nice, thick placenta.
6
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,347
What's a placenta?
7
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:14,765
Don't tell him. God!
8
00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:17,058
Why are you boys
being so squeamish?
9
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,352
Come on, Mom.
It's gross!
10
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,561
What are you
talking about?
11
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:20,688
You should
be grateful.
12
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,063
When you were in my womb,
13
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,691
you were feeding off my placenta
for nine months.
14
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,025
Okay, that's it.
15
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,906
I told you we only needed
a medium.
16
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:35,076
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
17
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,705
♪ I don't know ♪
18
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:41,000
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
19
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,084
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
20
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,587
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
21
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:48,089
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
22
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,091
♪ And you're not so big ♪
23
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,511
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
24
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,596
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
25
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,098
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
26
00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:00,019
♪ And you're not so big ♪
27
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:04,314
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
28
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,572
Lois, you're not being fair.
Every year you tell me
29
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,407
what you want for
Valentine's Day-- every year.
30
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,035
Now, this year you want me
to buy you a present
31
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,160
without so much as a clue?
32
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,579
Can we discuss
this later?
33
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,039
When? After I've
brought home
34
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,122
a gift you hate
35
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,332
that makes me
look like a jackass
36
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,584
and you never
forgive me?
37
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,919
Here, mint
or original?
38
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,628
I don't remember
the morning sickness
39
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:27,713
lasting this long.
40
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,339
Well, you are
a lot older.
41
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,132
Honey, you know,
like we all are.
42
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,801
I mean, that's what happens--
everyone gets older
43
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,135
and older until
they die...
44
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,137
and can we get
back to your gift?
45
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,223
Hal, you're going to have at
least four hours at the mall
46
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,516
while I'm shopping
with the boys.
47
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,726
You'll find
something.
48
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,727
This isn't fair.
49
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:42,728
You want to trade?
50
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,063
You want to take
51
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,814
three teenage boys
to the basement sale
52
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,608
at Hanning's
and force them to try on
53
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,192
a year's worth
of school clothes?
54
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,152
No, I'm good.
55
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,154
Oh, God. My feet
are so swollen,
56
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,323
I'm going to need
clown shoes.
57
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,367
I can't believe I'm going
through this again.
58
00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,995
So, a boy or a girl?
59
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,162
What?
60
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,414
Oh, come on--
just between us,
61
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,041
would you rather have
a boy or a girl?
62
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,584
Hal...
Oh, I know, I know.
63
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,336
"As long as it's healthy."
We both know the drill.
64
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,671
But deep down,
65
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,799
you must want one
more than the other.
66
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,674
Well...
67
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,638
I'll get
the vacuum.
68
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,558
You broke my
Space Fighter!
69
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,184
Give it!
You give it!
70
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,979
What is going on here?
71
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:25,646
He stole my pen!
72
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,688
My favorite pen!
73
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,273
Look at him
holding it!
74
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,109
Why is it he always
gets the pen?
75
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,069
I never get the pen!
76
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:34,195
All I want is the pen!
77
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,572
What is wrong with you boys?
78
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,992
You have a whole drawer
full of pens right here.
79
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,409
Why does he
have to have
80
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,787
everything I want?!
I never have what I need!
81
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,204
I don't even have
my own bed!
82
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,205
Why does everything
83
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,415
in my life suck?!
84
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,793
You owe me a new Space Fighter!
85
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,128
Shut up and get your own pen!
86
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,799
Give it to me!
Give it to me!
87
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,216
Give it to me!
88
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,430
Renee, please
don't touch it.
89
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,599
Mallory, you're being silly.
It's just a pen.
90
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,225
I was going to do
homework with it.
91
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,145
Unless there's
a reason
92
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,271
this pen's
important to you.
93
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,273
It's stupid.
94
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,316
No, it isn't,
Mallory.
95
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,400
You can tell her.
96
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,902
Daisy's right.
You can tell me.
97
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,696
How come you never say
what's on your mind?
98
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,949
Yeah, you're always so quiet.
99
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,538
Well...
100
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:28,416
this boy dropped it
in biology class.
101
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,960
He chewed on
it a little.
102
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,170
Oh, I am so sorry.
103
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,629
I should have known that.
104
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:33,755
I hate being dumb.
105
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,340
If I didn't grow
such great hair,
106
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,758
my head would be useless.
107
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,468
You don't have
to be a genius.
108
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,261
You're sweet
and thoughtful...
109
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,680
and that's
what counts.
110
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,723
Aw.
111
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,265
Wow.
112
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,144
That was the worst fight
we've had in months.
113
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,272
Why don't you just die?!
114
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,983
Give me my pen!
I'm warning you...
115
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,068
Ooh, I'm scared.
116
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,235
What are you gonna do?
117
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,362
What's the baby
gonna do?
118
00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,406
Malcolm!
119
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,787
Malcolm, you can
take Reese?
120
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,497
No one's "taking" anybody.
121
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,874
I can't believe
you boys.
122
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,293
Oh, my God, look at you!
123
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,338
He'd better not need stitches.
124
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,466
Yeah, like you
weren't begging for it.
125
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,928
Come on!
126
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,721
We got a lot of shopping to do!
127
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,557
Hello.
128
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,308
Mom! Great!
Listen, I need a favor.
129
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,936
I need you to go in the garage.
130
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,479
Under the paint tarps,
next to the rat poison,
131
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,315
is my old box of Mad Magazines,
and the one I need you to find
132
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,358
is in the middle stack.
133
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,236
Francis,
what are you talking about?
134
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,488
I got a $20 bet on whether
the cover is "Stagnum P.I."
135
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,782
or "Magnum P.U."
136
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,201
Francis,
I don't have time for this.
137
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,119
Oh, of course you don't
138
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,327
'cause every time
139
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,871
something important
to me comes up...
140
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,503
Will you hurry up?
141
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,257
We're going to have park,
like, a mile away!
142
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,549
Why do we have
to go shopping, anyway?
143
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,342
Because you ruin
everything you own.
144
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,012
New clothes don't just magically
appear in your drawers.
145
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:04,888
Mine do.
146
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,146
Hal, hurry up!
147
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,939
Why can't you go
shopping without us?
148
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,607
I'm a medium,
I like blue.
Go crazy.
149
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,858
Seriously, Mom,
think about it--
150
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:17,859
you're dragging
us to a place
151
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,069
that we don't like,
152
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:20,361
to buy clothes
we don't care about,
153
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,822
for money you
don't want to spend,
154
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,364
to look nice for
people who hate
our guts.
155
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,283
And if we go
to the shoe store
156
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,408
before we look
for jeans,
157
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,952
we can get yogurt
in between.
158
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,369
Mom, will you help me
pick out earrings?
159
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,080
No, she's gonna help me
pick out tops.
160
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,206
You know what
we should do?
161
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,373
You two take
the first floor,
162
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,625
and we'll take
the second floor,
163
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,002
and we'll meet
every 45 minutes
164
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,377
at the pretzel place
and see what else
165
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,462
we need to get,
and then...
166
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,379
Girls, girls,
167
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:39,589
calm down.
168
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,382
We do this, like,
five times a week.
169
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,051
You think you'd be bored by now.
170
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,886
I know why Mallory wants to meet
at the pretzel place.
171
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,096
That's where Jason McNeil works.
172
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,388
Daisy!
173
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,974
That's who you have
a crush on? Jason?
174
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,767
Maybe.
Mallory, he has
a mustache.
175
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,477
You don't want
anything to do
176
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,687
with a boy like that.
177
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,438
You're always so
protective of me.
178
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,481
Come on, Daddy, hurry.
179
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,608
Dad, come on, the
mall is calling!
180
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,403
Damn it. That's enough!
181
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,698
Now, we are going shopping,
and that is it!
182
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,202
I don't even need
new clothes!
183
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,828
I don't even want
to go the mall!
184
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,412
Do you want big,
do you want small?
185
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,413
Do you want for you?
186
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,414
Do you want
for the house?
187
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,415
Do you want
sincere...?
188
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,335
Hal, you know what I like.
189
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,586
Yes, because
you've always told me!
190
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,630
For the past five
Valentine's Days,
191
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,423
you've asked
for a lawn mower,
192
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,592
bath salts, earrings,
a Hibachi,
193
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,593
a porcelain cat.
194
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,428
Th-There's no pattern, Lois.
195
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,429
It is madness!
196
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,057
I'm telling you,
it's madness!
197
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,309
Okay, I'm going to let
you do this to yourself.
198
00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:33,810
My feet are killing me.
199
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,146
We're going to hit the
food court before the sale.
200
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,481
Fine! Be that way!
201
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,108
Don't come crying to me
202
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,944
when you end up with a pair
of puppy oven mitts!
203
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:48,283
Do you like puppy oven mitts?!
204
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,453
One salad with light dressing
205
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,497
and three grande
chili stampedes--
206
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,083
one with extra onions,
207
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,459
one with extra beans
and extra onions,
208
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:02,463
and one with extra beans
and extra, extra onions.
209
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,174
You've shot down
my star-pod
210
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,467
for the last time, Zoltan.
211
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:07,969
What you gonna do?
212
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,555
What's the baby gonna do, huh?
213
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,473
Aah! My lip!
214
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,351
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
215
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:16,436
It hurts!
216
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,651
I don't want
a hat, Hal.
217
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,153
Damn.
218
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,072
Okay, if one of you boys
wants to get napkins,
219
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,448
we can start...
220
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,704
Boy, keep the windows
open tonight,
221
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,705
'cause I'm gonna rip
222
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,957
the biggest...
223
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,792
...hole in
my sweater.
224
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,127
Look at this.
225
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,586
I think I snagged it
on something.
226
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,504
I hate when
I ruin my things.
227
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:47,175
Remember when I was two
and I got cake on my jumper?
228
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,135
Don't worry.
229
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,510
I snagged a
blouse once.
230
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,012
That's when Mom
taught me how to sew.
231
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:51,888
Why isn't Daddy back
232
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,307
from the pharmacy yet?
233
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,766
I'll bet he's
sneaking a cigarette.
234
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,976
Now, you girls let him be.
235
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,518
Sometimes he just needs a break.
236
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,397
It's not easy being
the only boy in the family.
237
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,773
Oh, look.
238
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,193
Hi, honey,
we're over here.
239
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,153
Hi, Daddy.
240
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,446
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
241
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,822
Hi, girls.
Sorry it took so long.
242
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,782
No one's upset with me,
are they?
243
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,244
Bought everyone some cookies.
244
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:17,038
Oh... they're gone.
245
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,166
Daddy, you know
how you like
246
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,334
to make me happy?
247
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,543
Yes?
248
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,920
Well, there
is the cutest
249
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,255
little makeup kit at
the Clinique counter.
250
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:26,547
Oh, honey, no.
251
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,425
Now, absolutely not.
252
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,385
I don't even like
253
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:31,552
you wearing makeup,
254
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,762
and that stuff
is so overpriced.
255
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,431
And what's
such a hurry... ?
256
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:35,932
Hal, it's all right.
257
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,143
Mallory, stop manipulating
your father.
258
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,560
You know there's no sport in it.
259
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,438
She wants to look pretty
for Jason.
260
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,481
Who's Jason?
261
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:43,564
Daddy, keep
your voice down.
262
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,565
He's right over there.
263
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,651
God, I can't
believe you.
264
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,196
I don't know what
you see in that guy.
265
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,405
Daddy, don't you think
266
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,614
Mallory should be
with someone else?
267
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,200
No.
Well, that's easy
for you to say.
268
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,617
You have, like,
50 guys after you.
269
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,618
50?!
270
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,958
All right, girls,
that's enough.
271
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,419
Now, Renee, I know
you love your sister,
272
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,587
but you can't live
her life for her.
273
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,215
And, Mallory,
274
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,300
I know you want to look older
and more sophisticated,
275
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,843
but trust me...
276
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,595
that three-dollar lip gloss
is working just fine.
277
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,972
You're right, Mom.
278
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,598
You're always right.
279
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,600
Hey, I was
gonna eat that!
280
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,894
Tough luck!
281
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,603
What the hell's wrong with you?!
282
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,491
No.
283
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,911
Damn.
284
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,163
Can I help you?
285
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,627
Don't do it.
286
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,255
Thank you.
287
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,840
All right,
we're going in.
288
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:53,009
You see anything in your size,
grab it and hold on to it,
289
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,011
no matter what anyone
tries to do to you.
290
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,930
Protect your heads.
Don't trust anyone.
291
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,639
What are you trying to do,
scare us?
292
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,682
Yes. Fear is good.
293
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,226
It's an 80%-off sale.
294
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,270
Fear will keep you alive.
295
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,190
Don't worry.
We're with Malcolm.
296
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,862
Ooh.
297
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,614
Oh...
298
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,494
Oh, the foot spa.
Those are good, right?
299
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,537
Oh, yeah, they're amazing.
300
00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:21,662
I already have two.
301
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,123
This one's for
my downstairs bathroom.
302
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,874
Well, enjoy.
303
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,544
I would like the deluxe foot spa
with remote control,
304
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,670
and I'd like it gift-wrapped,
please.
305
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,506
I'm sorry.
That was our last one.
306
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:34,717
No! Well, what about
the one in the window?
307
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,137
It's a display model.
It's just a shell.
308
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,473
But you have to...
309
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,142
I need the... the perfect...
310
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,185
My wife...
311
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,646
Sir! Sir!
312
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:49,774
Excuse me. Hi.
313
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,067
I'm Hal, remember?
314
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,693
Your friend from
just now in the store.
315
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,279
Yeah, hi.
Hi.
316
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,697
I was trying to get one of
those foot spas for my wife.
317
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:57,991
Oh, really?
318
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,909
Yeah, my pregnant wife.
319
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:02,287
For Valentine's Day, you know.
320
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,998
And apparently,
you bought the last one.
321
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,502
So, I was wondering,
since you already have two,
322
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,546
uh, if you wouldn't mind
selling me that one.
323
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,715
No, I don't
think so. Sorry.
324
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,134
Look, you don't understand.
325
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,553
I have been searching
and searching.
326
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,305
I'll give you double
what you paid for.
327
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,516
No! I'll give you triple.
328
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,724
Look, I'm sorry, but no.
329
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,101
This is mine. I bought it.
330
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,727
I'm sure if you just
keep looking around,
331
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:27,728
you'll find something else.
332
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,772
Oh, okay, okay.
333
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,859
Um, ah, how about this?
334
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,366
I can see through
that old lady's bra.
335
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,785
We've got to get out of here
before we're scarred for life.
336
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,329
Come on.
337
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,290
Hey, Mom, we've...
338
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,875
You did not already
try on those clothes.
339
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,420
And you do not have a term
paper due, and you are not
340
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,004
going to suddenly
develop stomach cramps.
341
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,715
How did you...?
Please, who do you think
342
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,798
you're talking to?
343
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,800
Now, go, try on
those clothes.
344
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,010
Reese.
345
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,470
Takes these and go
with your brother.
346
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,722
Mom, what are you doing?
347
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,515
Why are you giving me
a pink shirt?
348
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,183
I don't wear pink.
I've never worn pink.
349
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,809
That shirt is red.
350
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,811
If you have something to say,
just come out and say it.
351
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,441
For the love of God,
I'll find you another one.
352
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:57,776
Excuse me.
353
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,114
Wow, what happened to your face?
354
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,699
I slept on it wrong.
355
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:03,824
What do you mean?
356
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,702
Well, I'm sleeping like this,
357
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,621
and then my knee went
up into my elbow,
358
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,830
and my elbow hit my hand
and it went in my mouth,
359
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,832
and no one hit me, okay?
360
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,419
I don't want to hear
any more of your whining.
361
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,795
You try this on right now,
understood?!
362
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:24,887
Why are you
standing here?
363
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,556
You're wasting time.
364
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,224
I'm not changing out here
in front of everybody.
365
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,268
You know what?
I don't even need new clothes.
366
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,019
I'll just live off the lost
and found at school.
367
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,438
It's all better
than this crap anyway.
368
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,107
Mom, Mom,
there you are.
369
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,068
Look, it's a $200 dress
they marked down to $30.
370
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,779
Oh, my God.
This is like a dream.
371
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:41,904
Mom, you will not
believe this.
372
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,740
I had Daisy
dig through the cabinets
373
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,700
under the sales table,
and we found all this stuff
374
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,535
they were saving to put out
for tomorrow.
375
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,912
Yeah, we've got all the clothes
we need for the whole year.
376
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,372
Good work, girls.
377
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,832
Uh-oh, look who's here.
378
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,173
You know, I wouldn't
be insulted if you wanted
379
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,382
to go for an ice cream
with him.
380
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,509
Maybe later.
381
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,051
This is our
special day, Mom.
382
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,387
Yeah, and we haven't even gotten
to the best part yet.
383
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,139
When we help find things
for you.
384
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,685
I can't really describe him.
385
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,561
He was just
an average-looking guy,
386
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,146
but he had
kind of crazy eyes.
387
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,105
Is that helpful?
388
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,065
Sir, I'm so sorry.
389
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,318
I don't know what
came over me earlier.
390
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,069
I'm really not
that kind of person.
391
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,824
I-I just think it was all
the pressure of Valentine's Day,
392
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,909
and I was so upset
and irrational.
393
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:33,289
But the bottom line is
that I made a mistake and...
394
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,667
grabbed the wrong bag!
395
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,187
Oh, God...
396
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,222
Look at him.
Yeah.
397
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,892
I assume you'll want
the same deal I had with him.
398
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,226
What are you
talking about?
399
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,394
Look, Reese is as good
400
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,772
as dead, at least
on the inside.
401
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,273
That puts you in charge.
402
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,608
You get half my candy,
403
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:42,983
full control of the remote,
404
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,694
and since I can't do
your homework for you,
405
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:45,986
how about a nice warm towel
406
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,488
whenever you come out
of the shower?
407
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,073
Will you shut up?
He's going to be fine.
408
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,409
Whatever you say... sir.
409
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,119
Come on.
410
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,496
Hey.
411
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,665
I'm sorry, I was here first.
412
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:58,999
No, you weren't. We're next.
413
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,710
I'll only take a minute.
414
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,003
I've only got two things
to try on.
415
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,005
Lady, we've been waiting
in line for a half hour.
416
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,633
We have to meet our mom.
417
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,384
I'm sorry, but we're next.
418
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,385
Back off, brat!
419
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,595
This may be
your first sale,
420
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,638
but it isn't mine!
421
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:12,680
Let him go.
422
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,014
It's our turn.
423
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,057
Looks like you need someone
424
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,976
to teach you
to mind your elders.
425
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,438
You looking for a dance partner?
426
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,315
You think you can do
427
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,608
whatever you want, don't you?
428
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,025
That people
aren't going to say
429
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,195
or do anything
because you're... "frail."
430
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,113
Deal's off.
431
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,240
All right,
Reese is back.
432
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,910
You want to take your teeth out
before we start this, Grandma?
433
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:37,121
Oh, no, Reese is back.
434
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,708
Hi, I'm Karen Tracy.
435
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,335
I was speaking to one
of your boys earlier.
436
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,504
Oh, my God, I'll kill him.
437
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,046
See, these kind of outbursts
438
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,841
are exactly the sort of thing
we can help you with.
439
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,425
I'm with the Department
of Child Services.
440
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,218
What? What are you
talking about?
441
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,053
Look, we're not making
any judgments yet,
442
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,430
but the department takes
443
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,056
the safety of children
very seriously.
444
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,976
I'd like you to come in
for an evaluation.
445
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,059
What's the last known
446
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,854
address of the boy's father?
447
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:03,356
Wait a minute.
This is a mistake.
448
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,691
My boys are fine.
449
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,066
It wasn't me--
somebody planted
450
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:06,860
those teeth on me.
451
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,068
These your kids?
452
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,529
I was just trying
to buy a slip,
453
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,155
and they all jumped
on me like jackals.
454
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,740
She's lying.
455
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,950
We were just trying
to pull Reese off of her.
456
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,952
Oh, Lois, thank God I found you.
457
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,787
Look, we got to get
out of here before...
458
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,292
Run!
459
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:30,008
Mom, seriously,
get the lead out!
460
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,973
You must be so happy.
461
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:39,099
You wouldn't believe
some of the families
462
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,810
I have to deal with.
463
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:42,102
Oh, girls.
464
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,103
Hurry up.
465
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:45,147
It's our turn at the register.
466
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,274
I can't decide between the
peach, the melon or the salmon.
467
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,985
I just have to
get all three.
468
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,111
No, honey, now you're
going to make a choice.
469
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,697
Gee, Mom, if you're
going to force me
470
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,323
to wear knock-offs,
can I at least
471
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,408
just get
what I want?
472
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,617
Here you go, sweetie.
473
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:57,827
Here's the makeup
you wanted.
474
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:58,703
Oh, thank you
so much, Daddy.
475
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,913
Hal, what are you doing?
476
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,372
We said she couldn't have that.
477
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,123
Well, she asked me again
478
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,292
and told me that you said
it would be okay after all,
479
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,211
and then, you know,
she started...
480
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,129
getting all teary-eyed.
481
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:13,133
You know, I...
I-I just... I...
482
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,845
Mallory, how could you do that?
483
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,847
Don't worry, Mom. I won't
wear it around the house.
484
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:20,099
I know how desperate you are
to be the prettiest.
485
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,398
Mallory, I think we're all
getting a little bit frazzled.
486
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,315
Why don't we
487
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,026
talk about this when
488
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,402
we're modeling our clothes
for each other at home.
489
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,987
Yeah, that's
really good, Mom,
490
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,155
because by that time the
buzz from her diet pills
491
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,449
will have worn off.
492
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,784
Diet pills?
493
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,410
I have a slow
metabolism, okay?
494
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,871
And I don't burn up calories
having sex with a different boy
495
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,330
every night down by the creek.
496
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,750
I thought you were
at band practice every night.
497
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,167
There is no band!
498
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,211
Shut up, flatsy patsy,
you don't know anything.
499
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,421
I know you're pregnant.
500
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,173
She is lying.
That is ridiculous.
501
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,884
I am not pregnant,
because I know
502
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:56,886
that sex is wrong
and immoral and fun.
503
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:57,887
No, wait...
504
00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,179
It's all right, Renee.
505
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,514
It's good
that they know.
506
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,102
I'm ready for
teenage marriage.
507
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,185
It'll be awesome.
508
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,270
He's the father?
509
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,438
You only slept with him
510
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,189
because you knew
that I liked him!
511
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,191
Maybe you should have asked
to use my hair brush first.
512
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,076
Girls, please, can you just...?
513
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,869
Girls, don't do this.
514
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,454
You're supposed to be easy.
515
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,914
No, Mom,
you're easy.
516
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,206
We can fool you
about anything.
517
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,709
We're girls.
We know how you think.
518
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,670
And we're not above using it.
519
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,172
Mom, Dad, hi.
520
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:36,926
Francis,
what are you doing here?
521
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,636
You're supposed to be
away at college.
522
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,014
I dropped out,
but don't worry, I'm working.
523
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:43,057
At the new Hooters
out by the lumberyard.
524
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,100
With tips, I can
525
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:45,225
pay rent on the trailer
526
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,477
and still keep
my husband in beer.
527
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,812
Hey, got to go.
528
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,271
Cockfight starts
in half an hour.
529
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,231
You still got to load
the cages into my pickup.
530
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,151
Uh, you know, you could
talk to my daughter...
531
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,234
Leave him alone!
532
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,235
You never like
533
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,612
any of my husbands.
534
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,072
You've always tried
to come between us,
535
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,239
and that's why I hate you!
536
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,116
Ever since you lost
537
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,241
all that weight,
538
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,326
nothing is ever
good enough for you!
539
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,873
This isn't right.
540
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,750
Girls don't do these things.
541
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,211
Girls are nicer.
542
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,254
Girls are better.
543
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:15,255
Oh, come off it.
544
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,549
Who do you think
made us this way?
545
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,843
It's all your fault.
546
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,268
Honey, come on, you can do it.
547
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:31,271
It's just another 300 yards
after Señor Jelly Bean's.
548
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,066
Trust me, Hal.
There's no escape.
549
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:35,317
There's no escape
no matter what.
550
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,867
Happy Valentine's Day,
honey.
551
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,994
It finally came
to me last night.
552
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,537
The perfect gift.
553
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,248
And I know you'll love it
because it's not for you.
554
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,336
Thank you, Hal. It's perfect.
555
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,296
Come on, Dad,
let's go.
556
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,464
Oh, I get Malcolm.
557
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,592
Wait, we almost
forgot the thing.
558
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:03,888
Happy Valentine's
Day, Mom.
559
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,139
Yeah, happy Valentine's Day.
560
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,306
We saved you
the coconut ones
561
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,600
'cause we know
they're you're favorite.
562
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:10,269
Thank you, boys. I love it.
563
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,064
See you in a bit.
564
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:17,985
I hope you're a girl.
39077
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