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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,033 Edited at https://subtitletools.com 2 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,603 (Narrator) 'Who has never dreamed of knowing heaven on earth, 3 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,443 'of sailing away to a desert island? 4 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,689 'Well, here's a story about such a dream come true. 5 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,111 'A story that starts in London, at tea time. 6 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,702 'Which is not surprising since it's always tea time in London. 7 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,994 'On this particular day, at the house of The Honourable Mr Bramwell...’ 8 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,419 Your tea, Mr Bramwell. 9 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,800 The heir from America is waiting outside. 10 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,385 The heir from America? 11 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,005 Oh, we can't keep him waiting. Eh, gentlemen? 12 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:06,178 Well, don't stand there gaping, Pringle. Show him in, immediately. 13 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,474 Will you go in now? 14 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,451 - Mr Laurel, I presume. - No, no, I'm Oliver Hardy. 15 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,366 l'm Mr Laurel's financial exchequer. 16 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,991 - But where is Mr Laurel? - Oh, right here. Mr Laurel is... 17 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:34,791 Ah, Mr Laurel, we've had quite a time finding you. 18 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,788 (Clock rings) 19 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,462 And now, gentlemen, let me introduce the two attorneys 20 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,178 who handled your late uncle's affairs in France and in Italy. 21 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:46,139 Mr Hardy, Monsieur Bonfois. Mr Laurel, Signor Paltroni. 22 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,474 How do you do? 23 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,514 Signor Paltroni, Mr Hardy. Mr Bonfois, Mr Laurel. 24 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,887 My name is Bramwell. 25 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,981 Mr Hardy! 26 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:02,607 Well, gentlemen, could we get down to business? 27 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,904 Oh, thank you, Stanley. 28 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,152 Now, just how much was this legacy? 29 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:11,328 Oh, you Americans! You never seem to believe in formalities, do you? 30 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:14,202 (Laughs) There's one thing about us. 31 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:18,046 We always believe in business before pleasure. 32 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,665 You see... 33 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,618 Pardon me. 34 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,625 Thank you very much. 35 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,334 Now, could we proceed? 36 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,713 As a matter of fact, we had better get right to business. 37 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,550 Your uncle was quite an eccentric. 38 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:15,224 He didn't believe in banks. (Laughs) 39 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:18,269 He insisted on keeping his money in cash. 40 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,356 - And here it is. - What is it? 41 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,571 lt's money, I think. 42 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:28,362 Indeed, it is money, and a very large sum. 43 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,328 - ltalian lira. - French francs. 44 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,162 And English pounds. 45 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,781 Stanley... 46 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,418 Mr Laurel, before we actually turn this money over to you, 47 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:41,254 there are, of course, some administrative charges. 48 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,749 These include overhead legal charges... 49 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,716 (Bonfois) Deflation, amortisation... 50 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:51,386 Currency fluctuation, foreign exchange and a few other incidentals. 51 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,054 Gentlemen! 52 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,311 Here's your receipt, Mr Laurel. 53 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,323 Well, gentlemen... 54 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,535 (Bramwell) My dear Mr Hardy, there is another small item. 55 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,746 - What now? - The taxes. 56 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,742 To save you time, we've had them all figured out. 57 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:21,621 lncluding, naturally, a slight fee for our services. 58 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:27,501 These deductions represent income taxes, state taxes, inheritance taxes, 59 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,549 death taxes and living taxes. 60 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,094 And a few other plain taxes. 61 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,682 Gentlemen... 62 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,276 Wish Uncle had left me the taxes! 63 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,649 Is that all we get? 64 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,661 Oh, but you also get an island! 65 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,906 - An island? - And a beautiful yacht. 66 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,624 - A yacht? - Yes, yes. 67 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:04,042 The yacht is tied to a dock right here, see? In Marseilles, France. 68 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,631 And the island is here, in the South Seas. 69 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,716 Gee, that sounds wonderful, Ollie! 70 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,803 Well, that sounds swell, but... 71 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,672 How much are the taxes on that? 72 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:17,221 Oh, none. The island is absolutely tax free! 73 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,345 - Here's your money. - The papers for the boat. 74 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,813 And this is the deed to the island. 75 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,810 Well, now, that cleans out, er... I mean, that cleans up the estate. 76 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,107 Gentlemen, I bid you good day. 77 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,355 Come, Stanley. 78 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,116 Why don't you be careful? 79 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,874 (Ship horn blows) 80 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,250 Take a look. Here's your little boat, gentlemen. 81 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,423 (Blows whistle) 82 00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,143 - And here's your port clearance. - Ah! 83 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,886 Boy, we'll need a crew for this one. 84 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,888 A crew? What do we need a crew for? 85 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,437 - I'm running this boat! - Well, let's get on it. 86 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,311 - Oh, I beg your pardon. Dock fees. - How much? 87 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:11,483 - 19,000. - Lovely! 88 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,903 Thank you, sir, and [90/7 voyage. 89 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,401 - Merc/ beaucoup. - Good day. 90 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,494 - Bon tomorrow! - Thank you. 91 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:22,491 It's a good thing he didn't take the taxes. We'd have had nothing left of that. 92 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:26,370 Pardon me. Thanks a lot for reminding me. | forgot about it. 93 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,462 - Thanks. - Er, Monsieur... 94 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,508 Thank you. It's much too much, sir. Much too much. 95 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,011 What did you have to open your big mouth for? 96 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:43,934 - Well, I didn't know he was going to take it. - Come on and let's take a look at the boat. 97 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,543 (Groans) 98 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,475 We've got plenty of gas! 99 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,488 (Engine squeaks) 100 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,324 Let that thing alone! 101 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,159 (Engine squeaks) 102 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,784 Put that down! 103 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,378 - Look, there’s a tunnel. - Look. 104 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,207 See? Let's go down. 105 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,144 - Why don't you watch where you're walking? - Well, I couldn't help it. 106 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,613 Oh, never mind that. Let's see what we've got here. 107 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,950 (Cats yowling) 108 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,930 Shh! 109 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:48,011 - I didn't know they were living underneath. - Well, they've moved now! 110 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,355 (Yowling) 111 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,230 - What'd he say? - I wouldn't care to repeat it. 112 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,523 Come on! 113 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,567 (.i‘ Humming) 114 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,713 - What happened? - Mind your own business! 115 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,134 Oh, look! 116 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:27,926 What is it? 117 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,769 Well, that's an emergency life raft for four people. 118 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:34,687 - You can't get four people into this thing! - You don't understand. 119 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,401 lnside there's a compressed air cylinder. 120 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:42,115 When you release the valve, it blows up large enough to carry four people. 121 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,698 Well, what about me? 122 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,163 You don't have to be insulting. 123 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,367 Haven't | always taken care of you? 124 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,500 You're the first one I'd think of. 125 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,258 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Ollie. 126 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,799 Ollie. 127 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,641 Ollie. 128 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,597 Yoo-hoo! 129 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,285 Take that snake skin off and get that cargo aboard! 130 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,159 "What about me"... 131 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,122 What about me? 132 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,813 Don't waste time like that. Throw them to me and I'll put them there. 133 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,667 (Ollie continues blowing whistle) 134 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,051 (Groans) 135 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,145 (Groans) 136 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,303 Look at that! 137 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:18,263 - What goes on here? - There's a man in the cage! 138 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,605 - I bet it's Antoine again. - But the guy must be mad. 139 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,444 I'm a monkey, | tell you! 140 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,529 - He's a stateless man. - A what? 141 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,319 Somebody who has no nationality. 142 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:33,286 Oh, he's not a bad guy, really. But no country seems to want him. 143 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,531 He'd do anything to get back on land. Let's go, Antoine. 144 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:43,000 Don't you know it's against the law to land here without a passport? 145 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:47,592 Arrest me, punish me, teach me a lesson, put me in prison! 146 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,178 But remember that to put me in prison you've got to let me land. 147 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,298 How long has he been on your ship, Captain? 148 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,799 Oh, months. 149 00:14:54,936 --> 00:15:00,397 He tried to get ashore at Tetrokovac, Nagasaki, Caracas, Sydney... 150 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,891 - Brooklyn. - Brooklyn, Salonika... 151 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,267 Everywhere we stopped. 152 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:08,738 - All | ask for is a country. - Well, get a passport. 153 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,731 Oh, that's easy to say. 154 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,780 How can I get a passport if I have no country? 155 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,950 And how can I get in the country if I have no passport? 156 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,664 Sorry, I didn't make the regulations. 157 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,159 You're not allowed to land in this country. That's the law! 158 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,751 Fine laws! 159 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,168 You land monkeys without a passport, and not human beings! 160 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,342 Take him back on board. 161 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,342 Let's go! 162 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,763 - Canned food, one crate. - Canned food, one crate. 163 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,851 - Six sheets, plywood. - Six sheets, plywood. 164 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,141 Six sheets, plywood. 165 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,062 - Six sheets, plywood. - Six sheets, plywood. 166 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,607 - Sugar, one sack. - Sugar, one sack. 167 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,832 Oh, all right. 168 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,917 (Man) Sugar, one sack. 169 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,174 Won't you ever stop playing hide and seek with us? 170 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,470 - Go on. Beat it and quick! - But you two always stop me. 171 00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,309 Now, see here. You're probably a good stonemason. 172 00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:23,020 - Why don't you go and work in Italy? - But I'm an immigrant! 173 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,982 - That's just it. lmmigrant in Italy. - You kidding or something? 174 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,146 How can you immigrate to a place you've left already? 175 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,439 Well, maybe. 176 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:33,986 But one sure thing, you're not going to leave Marseilles without paying your passage. 177 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,327 - It's a funny world, huh? - How come? 178 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,951 Well, here we are, catching a man who tries to sneak off a boat 179 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,998 and catching another man who tries to sneak on, 180 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,668 when they could settle it so easily with one another. 181 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,915 (Sighs) 182 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,628 Oh yeah? You borrowed that without asking me. 183 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:58,131 Well, I wouldn't have minded losing it if your trick had finally worked. 184 00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,677 It's tough, eh, Antoine? 185 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,223 - Oh, I'll find another way out, don't worry. - Don't tell me about it, huh? 186 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,438 Good morning, boys. 187 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,152 What'd you say? 188 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,775 I haven't opened my mouth! 189 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,118 Good morning, boys! 190 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,041 - Going on a vacation? - We're going to the South Seas. 191 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:28,753 - That's a long trip there and a long way back! - Yeah, but we're not coming back. 192 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,964 You see, we own an island out there. Don't we, Ollie? 193 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,424 Uh-huh. 194 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,966 - Say, how do you start an engine? - With a mechanic, of course! 195 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,716 We can't afford one. We haven't got any money. 196 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,888 - We did have, but they took it all for taxes! - Well, don't worry. 197 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:47,855 I'm going to send you a mechanic and he won't cost you a cent! 198 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,113 - Well, everything's arranged. - What is? My execution? 199 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,278 There are two characters alongside. 200 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,869 They own an island in the South Seas. You're invited. 201 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:04,410 And you won't need a passport to get ashore. (Whistles) 202 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,954 - Thank you. - Thank you. 203 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,547 - Look out. - Thank you. 204 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,638 (Engine starts) 205 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,046 - Good morning, Stanley. - Good morning, Ollie. 206 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,583 - Er, where are we? - We're here. You see? Right... 207 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,053 Well, we shouldn't be. We'll have to change our course. 208 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,888 Keep her on course. You can eat later. 209 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,888 - But I'm hungry. - So am |! Selfish! 210 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,674 (.i‘ Humming) 211 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:51,012 - Your hat. - Oh, thank you. 212 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:54,390 Forgetting your manners when you get on a yacht... 213 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:01,781 Stanley, this is wonderful. The sea, the sky, the sun... 214 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,651 And you and I alone on the bounding main. 215 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,698 What do you mean, alone? He's with us. 216 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:10,665 Oh, of course, Antoine. He's our very, very good friend. 217 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,033 Yes, sir. 218 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:15,661 And we'll share and share alike. 219 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,254 Thank you. 220 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,589 Thank you. 221 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:28,967 Stanley, open the skylight so we can get some of that good sea air. 222 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:39,189 You know what? You need glasses. 223 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,687 - It's already open. - What? 224 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,613 When you get to the island, you'd better see an optimist. 225 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,282 Hot rolls and butter. 226 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:52,657 And for the place 0’9 res/sfance, Antoine presents his specialty, 227 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,785 the 0079 0’9 veau yam/19. 228 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,913 - Ah! Sounds good. - Mmh! 229 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:04,085 I'm going to enjoy that, I know. I love 0079 de... 230 00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:52,058 Hey, Antoine. I suppose in the yam/e you use a small touch of garlic. 231 00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,427 Oh, I hardly use a pinch. 232 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:15,456 A man that would steal food from a friend is the smallest thing in the world. 233 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,074 Oh, I don't know. 234 00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:21,295 All I hope, Stanley, is that you enjoyed your roll. 235 00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,755 How could I enjoy it, when you stole it? 236 00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:26,751 - What do you mean, I stole it? You stole it! - You're telling... 237 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:31,009 I would like you to know how happy I am to have you both as my friends. 238 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:33,598 I would like to give you a toast. 239 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:36,184 - I give you friendship! - Friendship! 240 00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:37,928 Here's how! 241 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,127 Let's have another, eh? 242 00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:18,636 To friendship! 243 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:20,262 - To friendship! - To friendship! 244 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,264 Here's to your health! 245 00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:34,527 (Scoffs) Friendship! 246 00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,779 Friendship. That's something really swell, no? 247 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,328 No! Definitely no! 248 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:42,543 Oh! Oh, the chops are done. Sit down, my friends. 249 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:45,997 Antoine is going to serve you his masterpiece. 250 00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:30,337 - What's the matter now? - You know what's the matter. 251 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:34,587 I want my chop! Varnished with garlic! 252 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,173 You've got a lot of nerve! 253 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:41,017 You want my chop after you've eaten yours! 254 00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:47,983 - I'm sorry. - Well, you should be! 255 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:53,439 Just a minute! 256 00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:55,691 Where's my potato? 257 00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:57,743 Now, listen. 258 00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:01,955 If you think I've eaten your roll and your potato and drank your wine, 259 00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:05,417 - weigh me. - Well, if you didn't, who did? 260 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,761 (Blade wobbles) 261 00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:21,758 You can't scare us with that. 262 00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:24,978 As admiral of this ship, I'll have Stanley put you in irons! 263 00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:27,348 What's all this about? 264 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:31,818 - You stole my potato! - Yeah! And my roll, wine and chop! 265 00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:37,783 Incidentally, who's steering the boat? 266 00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:43,122 Oh, I forgot to tell you. | tied the wheel on its course. 267 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,961 Well, for once you have used your head. 268 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:56,256 Thank you, Ollie. I'll try and do that more often. 269 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,594 (Engine stutters) 270 00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:03,725 (Engine stops) 271 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:07,142 - What was that? - The motor's stopped! 272 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:08,889 Fix it. You're the engineer. 273 00:26:09,026 --> 00:26:11,062 To tell you the truth, I'm not a mechanic. 274 00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:14,153 The captain on the boat cooked up that story just to get rid of me. 275 00:26:14,281 --> 00:26:19,025 As usual, I'll have to do everything myself! 276 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:22,824 - Get up on deck and stand by! - Stand by what? 277 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:25,413 Stand up on deck! 278 00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:28,951 We'll take this little matter up later! 279 00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:31,044 (Blade wobbles) 280 00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:41,046 What do you think is wrong with it? 281 00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:45,513 It's no use guessing. We'll just have to take it apart and find out. 282 00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:47,511 In other words, use your head. 283 00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:49,434 What for? 284 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:52,774 Well, you could use yours for a bowling ball! 285 00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:57,779 - You mean one of those with a hole in? - Exactly! 286 00:26:59,535 --> 00:27:01,400 Now, give me a hand. 287 00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:07,035 Now let that be a lesson to you. 288 00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:11,118 (Clattering) 289 00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:20,377 Here. 290 00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:34,400 - (Squeaking) - (Ollie) Put that down! 291 00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:50,540 (Stan) Ollie? 292 00:27:51,962 --> 00:27:55,045 - What? - The gas tank's empty! 293 00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:59,588 Why didn't you tell me that before? 294 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,712 Give me the parts and I'll put them back together. 295 00:28:14,443 --> 00:28:17,310 Now we've got nothing left but the sail. 296 00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:28,780 Now, when I give the signal, you pull. 297 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:39,127 What are you doing? I could have broken my arm! 298 00:28:39,259 --> 00:28:41,215 Who are you and what are you doing on this boat? 299 00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:42,710 You have no rights here! 300 00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:45,258 l have my rights! I am travelling as a stowaway! 301 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:47,472 They didn't tell us a stowaway came with the boat. 302 00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:49,057 - No. - Listen, fellas... 303 00:28:49,186 --> 00:28:51,598 I could have easily been a stowaway on any other boat. 304 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,095 I happened to pick this one. 305 00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:55,393 Then you have to find me and spoil everything. 306 00:28:55,525 --> 00:28:58,688 Well, we had to use the sail because the engine broke! 307 00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:03,610 - Well, why don't you try fixing the motor? - We tried to, but it fell in the sea. 308 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,448 Fell in the sea! Holy mackerel! 309 00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:08,569 Just my luck to be a stowaway on a boat run by two land lubbers 310 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:11,913 who manage to drop the engine in the ocean! The ocean! Argh! 311 00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:13,748 You know, I think we've offended him. 312 00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:15,162 What's happened? What goes on here? 313 00:29:15,295 --> 00:29:18,287 We've got a stowaway aboard. This is Antoine, the chef. 314 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,630 - Giovanni Copini. - Glad to meet you, sir. 315 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:23,125 - And this is Stanley. - How do you do? 316 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:32,263 How do you do? 317 00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:36,972 Why don't you be careful? 318 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,600 Come on, we can't waste all day just talking! 319 00:29:39,736 --> 00:29:42,352 Get that rope! Get the sail up! Go ahead! 320 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,525 You, the fat one, get on the other side! 321 00:29:44,658 --> 00:29:46,398 Pull! It takes muscle to raise a sail! 322 00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:48,992 The fat one, the other side! All together now! 323 00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:53,330 Hey, ho! 324 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,995 Hey, ho! Come on, pull on this. 325 00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:58,790 Ho! Hey, ho! 326 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:01,288 Hey, ho! 327 00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:36,994 - Just in time to eat lunch. - Never mind eating! 328 00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:39,083 What happened to my pants? 329 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:42,921 I put them right there to dry. It's getting to the place that you... 330 00:30:43,050 --> 00:30:45,632 Hey, the boat's moving! 331 00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:48,335 You g... 332 00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:02,600 - Kinda nice, eh, Stanley? - Sure is. 333 00:31:02,736 --> 00:31:05,569 Just like playing hooky from school. 334 00:31:05,697 --> 00:31:07,813 We're all playing hooky more or less. 335 00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:11,237 Giovanni, what are you playing hooky from? 336 00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:14,703 From a world where I'm always being told what to do and then how to do it. 337 00:31:15,582 --> 00:31:19,416 One day, a rich real-estate man in my village hired me to build a wall. 338 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:24,038 I spent weeks trying to find bricks the right shape and kind of colour he wanted. 339 00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:26,711 l fitted them into place one by one, 340 00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:29,300 as if they were jewels. 341 00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:33,092 When the wall was finished, it was shining in the sun like a real work of art, 342 00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:36,809 because it was me, Giovanni, the best mason in Italy who'd built it. 343 00:31:37,646 --> 00:31:39,807 Then the man came to have a look. 344 00:31:39,940 --> 00:31:41,646 And he ordered me to tear down the wall. 345 00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:44,938 He'd suddenly changed his mind. He wanted a picket fence. 346 00:31:45,070 --> 00:31:48,688 - That's when I decided to play hooky. - We don't blame you. 347 00:31:48,824 --> 00:31:51,315 - And you, what are you playing hooky from? - Taxes! 348 00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:54,238 Yeah, we don't like taxes! 349 00:31:55,664 --> 00:31:58,701 Hey, Antoine, what about you? Where is your home? 350 00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:02,292 My home? I don't know. 351 00:32:02,421 --> 00:32:04,787 The whole world ought to be man's country. 352 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,504 But for me... 353 00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,249 Someone seems to have locked all the doors. 354 00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:13,303 I can just see our island now. 355 00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:17,216 Palm trees and flowers... 356 00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:21,436 The sun to warm us, and the gentle rain. 357 00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:23,226 (Blows raspberry) 358 00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:31,897 (Thunderclap) 359 00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:34,649 It's a storm! Don't you think you'd better get the boat ready? 360 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,697 Oh, yes, it looks like a bad one. 361 00:32:36,830 --> 00:32:39,867 - I never saw one like this before. - Me neither! 362 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,618 - We'd better pull down the sail! - I'll go and get the life raft! 363 00:33:14,117 --> 00:33:16,073 Pull down the sail! 364 00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:41,951 (Hissing) 365 00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:16,437 (Crying) 366 00:35:44,017 --> 00:35:45,973 (Screams) 367 00:35:58,365 --> 00:36:01,232 Help! 368 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,741 Help! 369 00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:25,315 Ah, look at that! 370 00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:30,119 - An island! - We're on an island! 371 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,489 Stanley, we're on it. 372 00:37:42,969 --> 00:37:45,381 We're on an island! Take a peep! 373 00:37:46,389 --> 00:37:47,845 Take a peep! 374 00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:50,465 - I'm too popped to peep. - (Growls) 375 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:53,267 Oh! 376 00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:56,103 Oh, look. Look! 377 00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:58,564 Oh, boy! 378 00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:00,855 It's an atoll! 379 00:38:00,987 --> 00:38:03,729 That's what it is, an atoll! Come on! 380 00:38:03,865 --> 00:38:06,356 - Yes, yes. - Come on, brother. Easy, easy. 381 00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:07,903 Easy, easy! 382 00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:10,823 It's all right! It's all right. Let's go fishing now, eh? 383 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,786 - Hand me a basket. - Right away! 384 00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:17,326 Quick! A pot, some wood. Build a fire for the boa/Y/abal'sse. 385 00:38:17,462 --> 00:38:18,952 Don't forget to put some garlic in it. 386 00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:22,626 Oh, without it, it wouldn't be a real boa/Y/abal'sse. 387 00:38:59,712 --> 00:39:01,202 Well, it don't look so bad. 388 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:03,625 Still in good condition. 389 00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:25,060 Antoine, what time are you serving dinner? 390 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,437 If you want to eat, you'd better go build a fire. 391 00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:30,441 And you, my boy, clean the fish. 392 00:39:31,744 --> 00:39:34,281 You get the paper and I'll get the wood. 393 00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:41,000 - Ollie? - Yeah? 394 00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:43,836 Hold this a minute, will you? I can't... 395 00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:58,427 You know, boys? There seems to be a lot of room for building houses here. 396 00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:01,100 Yeah, it sure is naked around here. 397 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:03,723 Admiral, what do we do on a deserted island? 398 00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:07,148 Here's a man that was shipwrecked and he did all right. 399 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,816 Listen. 400 00:40:08,948 --> 00:40:12,111 "Robinson Crusoe was born in the city of York. 401 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:14,655 "His father wanted him to become a lawyer. 402 00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:17,824 "But young Crusoe longed to go to sea." 403 00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:31,551 (Narrator) 'Our modern Robinson Crusoes have gotten used to their new life. 404 00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:34,011 'By using the latest scientific farming methods, 405 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,927 'they have tamed the wild land. 406 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,649 'And Mother Nature has supplied them with plenty of fresh water.' 407 00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:51,028 (.i‘ Whistling) 408 00:41:01,334 --> 00:41:04,121 'Man has set to work. So has nature. 409 00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:08,246 'She has quickly changed a barren rock into an enchanting paradise. 410 00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:11,591 'Weeks, months, years have passed. 411 00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,675 'Everything has now improved. 412 00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:18,925 'At last our castaways have earned the right to take a little time off from their hard work.' 413 00:41:27,527 --> 00:41:30,985 Oscar. Oscar! 414 00:41:31,114 --> 00:41:32,854 (Whistles) 415 00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:54,543 (Narrator) 'For the animals, as well as for the men, 416 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:57,136 'this island has become a real paradise. 417 00:41:57,265 --> 00:42:00,177 'Yes, but a Garden of Eden without Eve, 418 00:42:00,309 --> 00:42:03,016 'and Adam is bored. 419 00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,477 'But... but What's this? 420 00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:07,563 'Where are these skipping stones leading us to? 421 00:42:07,692 --> 00:42:10,274 'To Papeete, the capital of Tahiti. 422 00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:15,067 'And who do we find? Eve! I beg your pardon... Cherie Lamour. 423 00:42:15,199 --> 00:42:19,613 'As you can see, she's got plenty of brains and culture. 424 00:42:19,746 --> 00:42:21,953 'The most glamorous girl in Tahiti, 425 00:42:22,081 --> 00:42:24,743 'and born in Paris, of course. 426 00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:26,366 'Today is her big day. 427 00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:29,164 'First of all, she is taking an audition at the Cockatoo, 428 00:42:29,297 --> 00:42:31,003 'the smartest night club in town. 429 00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:35,883 'And also she is expected at the courthouse for an important occasion. 430 00:42:36,012 --> 00:42:38,879 'She's going to marry Lieutenant Jack Frazer.’ 431 00:42:47,023 --> 00:42:48,433 What time is it? 432 00:42:49,275 --> 00:42:50,435 Twelve fifteen! 433 00:42:51,736 --> 00:42:54,648 (.i‘ Band starts to play) 434 00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:05,038 .i‘ When you are sad and lonely 435 00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:09,410 .i‘ And your heart will break 436 00:43:11,339 --> 00:43:16,629 .i‘ Ask who's not so lonely 437 00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:20,299 J‘ You lie awake 438 00:43:21,307 --> 00:43:24,049 .i‘ Why should you let yourself be blue 439 00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:28,519 .i‘ When I have got a cure for you? 440 00:43:30,525 --> 00:43:34,143 .i‘ Suppose your heart, for lack of love, is pining 441 00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,109 .i‘ Then come and get it 442 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,854 .i‘ Oh, come and get it 443 00:43:37,990 --> 00:43:41,528 .i‘ You'll find the joy for which your heart's inclining 444 00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:45,404 .i‘ If you surrender yourself to me 445 00:43:49,335 --> 00:43:53,374 .i‘ To love I dedicate myself completely 446 00:43:53,506 --> 00:43:57,124 .i‘ So come and get it, you won't regret it 447 00:43:57,260 --> 00:44:00,627 .i‘ And first of all, I'll hold my tongue discreetly 448 00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:04,426 .i‘ When you surrender yourself to me 449 00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:09,765 .i‘ I give you all the love you deserve 450 00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:13,481 .i‘ If only for a day 451 00:44:14,193 --> 00:44:18,732 .i‘ And if of our affair you should tire 452 00:44:18,865 --> 00:44:23,950 .i‘ Don't send me on my way 453 00:44:25,246 --> 00:44:28,909 .i‘ If love is what your lonely heart's still missing 454 00:44:29,041 --> 00:44:30,827 .i‘ Then come and get it 455 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:35,294 .i‘ And once you've met me 456 00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:38,836 .i‘ Enjoy the rapture of my expertise 457 00:44:38,968 --> 00:44:43,086 .i‘ And learn how tender my love can be 458 00:44:43,222 --> 00:44:46,180 .l‘Ah... 459 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:49,930 .i‘ Will you explore a month of spring 460 00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:53,270 .l‘ Ah-ha... 461 00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:58,981 .i‘ Put up your hand and show you will .i‘ 462 00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,152 Thank you. 463 00:45:06,662 --> 00:45:08,323 Can't you stay and have a drink on that? 464 00:45:08,456 --> 00:45:11,914 Oh, no, no, no, I'm late, there'll be fireworks. Thank you. Goodbye. 465 00:45:12,043 --> 00:45:13,908 Thank you. Goodbye. 466 00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:17,996 Ah, Miss Lamour. This way, please. 467 00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:20,710 Ah! 468 00:45:20,843 --> 00:45:22,925 Oh, sweetheart, I'm so pleased. 469 00:45:23,054 --> 00:45:24,965 Hardly looks like it! You're three quarters of an hour late. 470 00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:27,713 You're not going to grumble about three little quarters of an hour? 471 00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,262 Your Honour, I didn't keep you waiting, I hope? 472 00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:33,181 - Well, er... - Uh-uh-uh! Cherie! 473 00:45:34,607 --> 00:45:38,725 Oh, Your Honour, look at them. Aren't they lovely? 474 00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:40,977 - But you've been so extravagant, my dear. - Don't mention it. 475 00:45:41,113 --> 00:45:45,732 Miss Lamour and you, sir. Marriage is a most important thing. 476 00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:47,608 And I should like before proceeding any further... 477 00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:49,861 - I got my contract. - What contract? 478 00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:52,454 When we're married we're going to share everything in common. 479 00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:55,746 That's not what I'm talking about. My contract with the Cockatoo! 480 00:45:55,878 --> 00:45:57,243 My debut's tomorrow night, 481 00:45:57,380 --> 00:45:59,416 so you'll have a chance to come and see me before you sail. 482 00:45:59,548 --> 00:46:03,757 - Miss Lamour, if you please, won't you... - Oh, but I'm listening to you, Your Honour. 483 00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:08,262 Miss Lamour, Lieutenant, marriage is a most important thing. 484 00:46:08,391 --> 00:46:09,471 Just a minute. 485 00:46:12,478 --> 00:46:14,469 but I've something to straighten out with my fiancee. 486 00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:16,391 It's most unusual, but if... 487 00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:20,062 Am I to understand that you intend to continue your career after we are married? 488 00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:23,857 But of course, my sweetheart. You never suggested that I should give it up. 489 00:46:23,990 --> 00:46:25,480 I never broached the subject 490 00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:27,732 because I took it for granted that after we were married 491 00:46:27,868 --> 00:46:29,483 you'd devote yourself entirely to me. 492 00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,282 Nothing would please me more if you were here all the time. 493 00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:35,407 But when you spend ten months out of the year sailing the seas, 494 00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:38,501 what do you expect me to do? Swim behind your little barge? 495 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:39,914 Well, look, honey, 496 00:46:40,047 --> 00:46:43,039 I'm not going to tolerate that while I'm out at sea 497 00:46:43,175 --> 00:46:46,633 you spend your nights playing "Come On, Girl" in some clip joint. 498 00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:49,970 Oh! "Come On, Girl" in some clip joint! 499 00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:53,057 What do you think I am? I'm an artiste, not a bum. 500 00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:56,018 You know what people call me? The female Caruso. 501 00:46:56,147 --> 00:46:58,729 That's a fact, Your Honour. The female Caruso! 502 00:46:58,858 --> 00:47:00,894 (.i‘ Sings) 503 00:47:03,029 --> 00:47:06,613 - Calm yourself, Miss Lamour. - I'm very calm, Your Honour! 504 00:47:06,741 --> 00:47:08,697 But I'm not going to submit to this kind of blackmail! 505 00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:11,158 In that case I'm not going to hang around here. 506 00:47:11,287 --> 00:47:13,699 You think about it, but think fast. 507 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,037 Please, sir... 508 00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:18,033 Let him go away, Your Honour. I won't run after him! Do you hear me? 509 00:47:18,169 --> 00:47:19,454 Miss Lamour... 510 00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:22,545 Think about it as well, and come and give me your answer tomorrow night at the Cockatoo. 511 00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:24,629 If you're not in the audience, I know what your answer is. 512 00:47:24,759 --> 00:47:27,091 Jack! Sweetheart! 513 00:47:28,763 --> 00:47:30,845 He will come, won't he? 514 00:47:30,973 --> 00:47:33,464 Tell him that if he doesn't show up tomorrow night, 515 00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:35,512 he'll never see me again. 516 00:47:35,644 --> 00:47:37,600 I don't know what I'll do yet, 517 00:47:37,730 --> 00:47:40,096 but I’ll see to it he never finds me. 518 00:47:40,232 --> 00:47:43,975 OK, I'll give him the message, but you know him better than I do. 519 00:47:44,111 --> 00:47:47,444 Hm! Well, then, he'll show up, I'm sure. 520 00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:51,611 (.i‘ Piano plays) 521 00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:57,580 J‘ Can you guess just how much I adore you 522 00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:03,920 .i‘ How I long for your sweet embrace 523 00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:10,294 J‘ Can you guess how the love that | feel for you 524 00:48:10,429 --> 00:48:16,425 .i‘ Fills my heart with such bliss when we meet and we kiss 525 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:22,055 J‘ Can you guess how I love to be near you 526 00:48:22,191 --> 00:48:28,403 .i‘ How I scream at each tender caress 527 00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:31,443 .i‘ For the song that poets sing 528 00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:35,159 .i‘ Can't describe that precious thing 529 00:48:35,287 --> 00:48:40,907 .i‘ And the love that I want to express 530 00:48:41,043 --> 00:48:44,956 .i‘ Only you can guess 531 00:48:47,049 --> 00:48:50,166 .i‘ My window looks upon the square 532 00:48:50,302 --> 00:48:52,964 .i‘ When I'm alone I hear the feet 533 00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:56,180 .i‘ Of people passing in the street 534 00:48:56,308 --> 00:49:00,551 .i‘ But for tonight no sorrow to bear 535 00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:06,232 .i‘ Come close to me and hold my hand 536 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:09,852 .i‘ I can't hear your heart beating near 537 00:49:09,989 --> 00:49:14,733 .i‘ And feel the touch I love so much 538 00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:20,580 .i‘ And our delight fills all the night 539 00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:27,329 J‘ Can you guess just how much I adore you? 540 00:49:28,674 --> 00:49:33,509 .i‘ How I long for your sweet embrace 541 00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:40,889 J‘ Can you guess all the love that | feel for you 542 00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:47,016 .i‘ Fills my heart with such bliss when we meet and we kiss 543 00:49:47,151 --> 00:49:51,941 J‘ Can you guess how I long to be near you? 544 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:58,910 .i‘ How I scream at each tender caress 545 00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:02,201 .i‘ For the song that poets sing 546 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:06,997 .i‘ Can't describe that precious thing 547 00:50:07,129 --> 00:50:12,749 .i‘ And the love that I want to express 548 00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:18,839 .i‘ Only you can guess .i‘ 549 00:50:18,974 --> 00:50:21,807 Magnificent! And to think that pighead didn't show up! 550 00:50:21,936 --> 00:50:24,348 (Cheering) 551 00:50:31,737 --> 00:50:34,274 (Sobbing) 552 00:50:41,163 --> 00:50:44,371 He didn't show up! He didn't show up! He ruined everything! 553 00:50:45,584 --> 00:50:47,870 - Where is he? - He sailed this morning. 554 00:50:48,003 --> 00:50:49,994 I wouldn't even listen. He said he wouldn't give in. 555 00:50:50,130 --> 00:50:52,246 I won't give in either. 556 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:55,041 Did you tell him he might lose me forever? 557 00:50:56,178 --> 00:50:57,213 I did. 558 00:50:57,346 --> 00:50:58,756 Encore! Encore! 559 00:51:04,937 --> 00:51:07,178 - They want an encore. Hurry up, quick! - Yes, yes. 560 00:51:07,314 --> 00:51:09,430 But Jack will be back in two weeks. You'll see him again. 561 00:51:09,567 --> 00:51:11,523 - What do I care? I won't be here. - What? 562 00:51:11,652 --> 00:51:14,689 - When is your ship sailing, Captain? - Next Friday. Why? 563 00:51:14,822 --> 00:51:18,314 - Take me as a passenger. - But my tub's no luxury liner, understand? 564 00:51:18,450 --> 00:51:20,611 It makes no difference. All I want is to leave. 565 00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:24,202 Hey! There's also my wife. 566 00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:26,822 Aye-aye-aye. .. 567 00:52:05,873 --> 00:52:09,616 - Ah! The hunting season's on? - Get up! Out of that bed! 568 00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:12,459 Your husband should've warned me you're coming on this voyage. 569 00:52:12,588 --> 00:52:14,544 I wouldn't have sailed on this slave ship. 570 00:52:14,673 --> 00:52:16,959 I never believed that story of your marriage with Frazer being off. 571 00:52:17,718 --> 00:52:20,505 I had a hunch you were going to make a play for my husband. 572 00:52:20,638 --> 00:52:22,845 Get up! And start your packing! 573 00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,385 - You're going to throw me overboard? - No. 574 00:52:26,268 --> 00:52:30,602 We're going to land you on an island. An island unknown. 575 00:52:30,731 --> 00:52:32,187 Are there people on it? 576 00:52:32,316 --> 00:52:34,523 You'll find out about that as soon as you land. 577 00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:37,940 Wherever you appear, in no time you're surrounded by men. 578 00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:40,108 (Ship horn blares) 579 00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:45,363 No, ltell you it isn't fair to put this poor girl up in a deserted island. 580 00:52:45,496 --> 00:52:47,032 There are houses. I saw them. 581 00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:48,950 Where there are houses, there are people. 582 00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:50,619 - lt suits me. - Get moving! 583 00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:53,868 But I keep telling you, she only came aboard on account of Frazer, 584 00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:55,164 just to make him jealous. 585 00:52:55,297 --> 00:52:57,629 He'll blow his top if I tell him I put you off on an island. 586 00:52:57,758 --> 00:52:59,965 You don't have to tell him about it. 587 00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:05,095 Or rather... tell him I can be just as stubborn as he can. 588 00:53:07,393 --> 00:53:11,011 - l'll row you over. - No, you don't! You stay right here. 589 00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:15,014 She knows how to row, and if she can't, she'll have to swim. 590 00:53:15,150 --> 00:53:17,391 - So long, sweetheart! - No! 591 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,815 I'm glad you boys are here. I want to talk to you. 592 00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:26,738 Where were you fellas a while ago? 593 00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:29,577 l was down at the beach getting these fish for dinner. See? 594 00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,993 l was working in the garden. 595 00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,492 Did you see or hear anything? 596 00:53:34,628 --> 00:53:36,118 - Just the waves. - Why? 597 00:53:36,255 --> 00:53:39,873 I'll tell you why. Because I was down by the lagoon, 598 00:53:40,008 --> 00:53:42,750 and I thought I heard the engines of a big boat. 599 00:53:42,886 --> 00:53:44,126 Then it whistled. 600 00:53:44,263 --> 00:53:47,847 By the time I climbed up to see, there was nothing there. 601 00:53:47,975 --> 00:53:51,263 - That's because it had gone. - Oh! 602 00:53:52,104 --> 00:53:54,937 - What had gone? - The boat. 603 00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:58,273 (lmitates ship horn) 604 00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:02,937 Do you mean to tell me that you saw a boat and didn't let us know? 605 00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:07,612 Well, I saw and l waved to it, but it didn't wave back, so I... 606 00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:11,203 Get us something to drink before I forget myself. 607 00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:16,955 Stan has certainly received more than his share of stupidity. 608 00:54:17,087 --> 00:54:20,045 Yeah, no one person could be really such a blockhead. 609 00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:25,759 Pardon me. 610 00:54:37,232 --> 00:54:41,100 - What’s the matter with you? - I think I saw something. 611 00:54:41,236 --> 00:54:43,318 What are you talking about? 612 00:54:43,447 --> 00:54:45,984 There's a girl in the kitchen. 613 00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:49,950 You are absolutely right. 614 00:54:50,078 --> 00:54:52,490 - There she is! - Hello. 615 00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:04,627 Well, hello, fellas. 616 00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:06,754 How did you get here? 617 00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:10,880 Well, I guess you might say l was dropped by a witch. 618 00:55:11,016 --> 00:55:12,972 Like the one that rides on a broom? 619 00:55:13,101 --> 00:55:14,807 (Laughs) No. 620 00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,768 This one used a shotgun. 621 00:55:16,897 --> 00:55:20,685 I'm sorry for this intrusion, but you'll have to take me as a guest, I'm afraid. 622 00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:22,149 It will be a pleasure. 623 00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,393 I knew I should've built a guest house a long time ago. 624 00:55:24,530 --> 00:55:27,567 Oh... There's no place for me to stay? 625 00:55:27,699 --> 00:55:30,315 Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about that. 626 00:55:30,452 --> 00:55:32,818 Giovanni and Antoine will move in with Stanley and me. 627 00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:36,622 - And you can stay right here. - You're very kind. 628 00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:39,617 Come, my little princess, and I shall show you to your boudoir. 629 00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:42,415 You know, I think I'm going to like this place. 630 00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:45,881 lt's swell. You don't have to shave or anything. 631 00:55:46,009 --> 00:55:48,170 (Laughs) 632 00:55:53,684 --> 00:55:57,393 I left my taxi down at the beach with all my things. 633 00:55:57,521 --> 00:56:00,888 Er, gentlemen, get the lady's luggage and bring it to her chateau. 634 00:56:01,024 --> 00:56:03,015 Thank you. 635 00:56:03,151 --> 00:56:04,311 What's that funny thing up there? 636 00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:07,857 That, my dear, is the wreckage of the good ship Momus. 637 00:56:07,990 --> 00:56:10,902 I shall never forget the day that I found this island. 638 00:56:11,034 --> 00:56:14,367 It was a terrible night, dark as pitch. 639 00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:17,454 It was so pitch, you couldn't see your hand behind your back. 640 00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:19,790 Exactly, Stanley! 641 00:56:19,918 --> 00:56:23,536 Then, all of a sudden, I spotted that harbour. 642 00:56:23,672 --> 00:56:26,539 I put her bow into the teeth of the gale, 643 00:56:26,675 --> 00:56:31,465 lashed myself to the wheel and beached her on that pinnacle. 644 00:56:31,597 --> 00:56:34,054 And it's been there ever since. 645 00:56:34,182 --> 00:56:37,049 Well boys, you must have had trouble getting it up so high. 646 00:56:37,185 --> 00:56:40,393 - He read it in a book. - Er, come, my dear. Book... 647 00:56:42,316 --> 00:56:45,399 One, two, three... It's all there. Thank you. 648 00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:50,611 (Honks horn) 649 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:41,743 Stanley, have you forgotten that we have company? 650 00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:49,834 Gentlemen, make yourselves comfortable. 651 00:57:58,642 --> 00:58:00,553 Gentlemen! 652 00:58:04,147 --> 00:58:05,227 (Clattering) 653 00:58:27,295 --> 00:58:29,331 Stanley... 654 00:58:29,464 --> 00:58:33,582 - This is my side. - Well, there's no room on my side. 655 00:58:33,719 --> 00:58:36,631 Well, the fair thing to do is to take turns. 656 00:58:36,763 --> 00:58:39,129 While one sits up, the other sleeps. 657 00:58:39,266 --> 00:58:42,724 And when he wakes up, we change. 658 00:58:42,853 --> 00:58:47,222 Now, that's what I call a sport. Thank you, Ollie. 659 00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:49,439 That's a good idea. 660 00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:54,608 I sleep, and then when you wake up, I sleep again. 661 00:58:54,740 --> 00:58:57,402 And haven't you forgotten something? 662 00:58:58,285 --> 00:59:01,493 - Huh? - Haven't you forgotten something? 663 00:59:02,664 --> 00:59:04,370 Oh... Good night, Ollie. 664 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,536 - I'm sorry, I... - Get up and put that candle out. 665 00:59:07,669 --> 00:59:10,160 - But you said that I could... - Go ahead, selfish. 666 00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:27,261 Ollie. 667 00:59:28,648 --> 00:59:30,058 Ollie. 668 00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:33,107 Ollie. 669 00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:36,478 - Are you awake yet? - No! 670 01:00:00,263 --> 01:00:01,844 (Snoring) 671 01:00:08,021 --> 01:00:10,103 Pardon me. Shh! 672 01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:15,642 (Snoring continues) 673 01:00:57,070 --> 01:00:59,061 (Exclaims) 674 01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:01,108 (Bat squeaking) 675 01:01:08,582 --> 01:01:10,243 (Screams) 676 01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:21,424 (Screams) 677 01:01:28,935 --> 01:01:31,768 - What is that thing? What is it? - Look out! 678 01:01:31,897 --> 01:01:34,855 (lndistinct shouting) 679 01:01:42,699 --> 01:01:45,156 (Bat squeaking) 680 01:01:47,287 --> 01:01:49,243 Open the window and we'll drive him out. 681 01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:11,759 .i‘ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la-la 682 01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:13,726 .i‘ Oh, come and get it 683 01:02:13,855 --> 01:02:17,097 .i‘ La-la, la-la-la .i‘ 684 01:02:17,234 --> 01:02:19,316 - Ah! - This morning I'm going to prepare 685 01:02:19,444 --> 01:02:22,277 a magnificent seagull egg omelette with fine herbs. 686 01:02:22,405 --> 01:02:23,861 Omelette... Bah! 687 01:02:23,990 --> 01:02:27,608 Well, today I'm gonna draw the plans for a splendid villa with a big roman bath. 688 01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:28,859 What are you going to do, Ollie? 689 01:02:28,995 --> 01:02:31,737 I'm going to give you fellas a piece of my mind. 690 01:02:31,873 --> 01:02:34,615 - Cherie's a nice girl, isn't she? - Exquisite! 691 01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:36,412 - Charming! - Pretty, too! 692 01:02:36,544 --> 01:02:38,034 And we're all friends, aren't we? 693 01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:39,331 - Of course. - Naturally. 694 01:02:39,464 --> 01:02:42,831 Well, | make a motion that we never let a woman come between us. 695 01:02:42,968 --> 01:02:44,128 - Agreed? - Of course. 696 01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:46,968 - I agree. - Now, let's all get dressed. 697 01:02:49,891 --> 01:02:53,600 - Say, Ollie, where's the sandpaper? - Sandpaper? 698 01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:56,970 - In that locker. - Thank you. 699 01:03:00,443 --> 01:03:02,354 (Bat squeaks, Stan screams) 700 01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:05,357 (Screams) 701 01:03:06,825 --> 01:03:08,315 (Harrumphs) 702 01:03:12,497 --> 01:03:14,328 Pardon me. 703 01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:16,581 Thank you. 704 01:03:17,294 --> 01:03:18,955 Pardon me. 705 01:03:19,754 --> 01:03:21,415 Thank you. 706 01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:27,883 Pardon me. 707 01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:33,552 Thanks a lot. 708 01:03:33,685 --> 01:03:35,300 Pardon me. 709 01:03:38,940 --> 01:03:41,226 Thank you. 710 01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:44,401 Pardon me. 711 01:03:46,865 --> 01:03:48,981 (Sandpapenng) 712 01:04:22,233 --> 01:04:24,144 Hey! 713 01:04:26,279 --> 01:04:27,985 Look! 714 01:04:38,583 --> 01:04:40,198 Hello. 715 01:04:42,921 --> 01:04:45,207 What's the matter? The cat got your tongues? 716 01:04:46,674 --> 01:04:47,709 Uh-uh. 717 01:04:47,842 --> 01:04:50,049 Mmh! How nice you look this morning. 718 01:04:52,597 --> 01:04:54,087 Come on, come on, I want you to sit down. 719 01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:01,637 I'll have the food on the table in two seconds. 720 01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:18,157 Look! She's put on clean plates! 721 01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:20,701 - Even a table cloth! - And clean napkins! 722 01:05:20,834 --> 01:05:22,916 - Yes, she even swept the floor. - Yes. 723 01:05:38,726 --> 01:05:41,217 Does this belong to anybody? 724 01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:42,594 Never saw that guy before. 725 01:05:42,730 --> 01:05:44,812 - Nobody I know. - No. 726 01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:51,937 lt's mine. It's a friend. 727 01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:56,487 It's just someone I knew once. 728 01:06:09,466 --> 01:06:11,923 l have a little surprise which I hope you're going to like. 729 01:06:12,051 --> 01:06:15,168 - What, another one? - What is it? 730 01:06:15,305 --> 01:06:17,216 A boa/Y/abal'sse! 731 01:06:18,683 --> 01:06:22,096 Tell me, was your boyfriend fond of boa/Y/abal'sse? 732 01:06:22,228 --> 01:06:24,719 - Oh, he loved it. - (Sobbing) 733 01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:15,854 Is this the warehouse you've been building? 734 01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:18,732 As warehouses go, it's a funny warehouse. 735 01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,699 (Laughs) 736 01:07:23,623 --> 01:07:25,955 This is no warehouse! 737 01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:47,727 It's for you. 738 01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:51,518 - For me? - Yes, for you. It sure is easy to fool you. 739 01:07:51,651 --> 01:07:54,267 Did you really think we were building a refrigerator? 740 01:07:54,404 --> 01:07:58,613 We were afraid you'd find out, so we put on all the decorations last night. 741 01:07:58,741 --> 01:08:00,231 Oh! 742 01:08:23,057 --> 01:08:24,968 Come on in. 743 01:08:57,842 --> 01:08:59,707 (Cherie) It's just lovely. 744 01:09:04,432 --> 01:09:08,641 You've all been such wonderful friends. This is the first real home I've ever had. 745 01:09:08,770 --> 01:09:10,556 I'm so happy, I... 746 01:09:12,357 --> 01:09:14,769 You're not contentjust to be a singer. 747 01:09:14,901 --> 01:09:16,391 You've also got to be the comedian. 748 01:09:26,621 --> 01:09:31,206 What are you playing now? Snow white and the seven dwarves? 749 01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:36,669 That's the fella in the picture that she carries around with her. 750 01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:41,382 All right! You've tracked me down! Now what? 751 01:09:41,511 --> 01:09:44,298 You're wrong, baby. I never tried tracking you down. 752 01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:47,843 Our old friend Dolan reported he'd seen an uncharted island. 753 01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:51,012 My business here is to chart it. My men are out there working at it now. 754 01:09:52,897 --> 01:09:56,310 Look here. I suppose I oughta have my head examined, 755 01:09:56,442 --> 01:09:59,058 but I'm going to give you one more chance. 756 01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:03,188 Go and pack you're things and be down at the beach in 15 minutes. 757 01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:06,524 What for? 758 01:10:06,661 --> 01:10:09,073 Well, I suppose you want to be rescued, don't you? 759 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:10,866 Not by you! 760 01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:15,495 Lieutenant! Come right away! We've found something! 761 01:10:15,628 --> 01:10:17,835 OK. I'll be right with you. 762 01:10:19,716 --> 01:10:22,002 This is your last chance. Are you coming? 763 01:10:24,095 --> 01:10:26,336 No! 764 01:10:33,187 --> 01:10:35,018 We'd better keep an eye on that guy. 765 01:10:35,148 --> 01:10:37,855 He looks like a man that would steal our island. 766 01:10:50,163 --> 01:10:51,528 (Crackling) 767 01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:56,036 lt's uranium! The place is loaded with it. 768 01:10:57,044 --> 01:10:59,205 Uranium? 769 01:11:02,550 --> 01:11:04,836 Which one of you fellas happened to land first on this island? 770 01:11:04,969 --> 01:11:07,085 Let me handle this, fellas. 771 01:11:07,221 --> 01:11:08,461 Why do you ask that? 772 01:11:08,598 --> 01:11:11,180 Because it will determine which nation owns the island. 773 01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,515 We all own it. 774 01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:15,263 Of course, of course... You own the island. 775 01:11:15,396 --> 01:11:19,389 You're the real proprietors, but some country has got to claim sovereignty. 776 01:11:20,276 --> 01:11:23,689 International law specifies that an island belongs to the country 777 01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:25,607 whose citizen was first to set foot on it. 778 01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:29,153 - So some country can take our island? - That's right. 779 01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:31,571 And if that country has immigration laws? 780 01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:34,616 - You'll have to abide by those laws. - Even income tax laws? 781 01:11:34,749 --> 01:11:38,617 Income tax laws, inheritance taxes and sales taxes. 782 01:11:38,753 --> 01:11:42,416 You know what they are trying to do? They're trying to take our geraniums. 783 01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,084 That's it, exactly! 784 01:11:44,217 --> 01:11:47,254 Pardon us forjust one moment! 785 01:11:56,896 --> 01:12:01,105 Let's tell him that we all landed on the island at the same time. 786 01:12:01,234 --> 01:12:05,102 We can't tell a lie. Antoine was the first to land. 787 01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:08,321 - It was a terrible night and... - All right, all right. 788 01:12:14,747 --> 01:12:18,080 Here's how it is. l was the first man to set foot on this island. 789 01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:20,871 - OK. What's your name? - Antoine. 790 01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:24,791 - Antoine what? - Antoine, Master of Cooking. 791 01:12:24,924 --> 01:12:27,210 - Nationality? - I haven't any! 792 01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:30,426 You see, he is what is known as a stateless man. 793 01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:33,422 Or in other words, a misplaced person. 794 01:12:33,558 --> 01:12:36,391 You see, he's lost and he can't find himself. 795 01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:38,931 - Listen, you've got to have a nationality. - You're telling me! 796 01:12:39,063 --> 01:12:41,600 I explained that in every port wherever I tried to land, 797 01:12:41,732 --> 01:12:43,893 but no country wanted to have me. 798 01:12:44,026 --> 01:12:47,143 Every country now will want to have you! 799 01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:50,238 I'll go and radio the authorities and dump it in somebody's lap. 800 01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:51,697 So long, gentlemen. 801 01:12:51,826 --> 01:12:54,488 - Bye, bye... - So long, Lieutenant. 802 01:12:54,620 --> 01:12:57,157 (Beeping, rattling) 803 01:13:00,751 --> 01:13:03,288 Show in the gentlemen of the press. 804 01:13:08,759 --> 01:13:10,420 Is it true a new island's been discovered? 805 01:13:10,553 --> 01:13:12,418 - Can you give us the facts? - Who does it belong to? 806 01:13:12,555 --> 01:13:15,092 Not so fast, gentlemen. Not so fast. 807 01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:17,761 The island belongs to no one. For the time being. 808 01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:18,929 To no one? 809 01:13:19,061 --> 01:13:20,801 Four shipwrecked men have settled down there, 810 01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:24,351 but the first man who stepped on the island is a stateless person, 811 01:13:24,483 --> 01:13:27,225 a citizen of no nationality. 812 01:13:27,361 --> 01:13:30,979 Consequently, no country is in a position to lay claim to sovereignty on the island. 813 01:13:31,115 --> 01:13:32,275 Is it an important island? 814 01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:36,777 Important? It is loaded with the biggest deposits of uranium discovered to this day. 815 01:13:36,913 --> 01:13:38,494 (All) Uranium? 816 01:13:38,623 --> 01:13:43,208 Shh! Here's the complete file, gentlemen. You can go through it as you please. 817 01:13:46,714 --> 01:13:48,921 (Beeping) 818 01:13:49,050 --> 01:13:51,962 Every hour on the hour, this station is giving you up-to-the-minute reports... 819 01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:56,633 (Announcements in various foreign languages) 820 01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:58,176 The recent discovery in the Pacific... 821 01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:03,599 ...on an island which will be known henceforth as Atoll "l-l". 822 01:14:03,731 --> 01:14:07,599 I beg your pardon, Atoll K. 823 01:14:07,735 --> 01:14:09,771 After a fortnight of conferences... 824 01:14:09,904 --> 01:14:12,566 ...the great powers, in a joint statement issued today, 825 01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:15,235 announced the appointment of an international commission 826 01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:18,485 to decide which nation will be awarded sovereignty rights 827 01:14:18,621 --> 01:14:21,829 over the island which has emerged from the ocean only a short time ago 828 01:14:21,958 --> 01:14:24,290 and will be known as Atoll "K". 829 01:14:24,418 --> 01:14:27,501 'This statement was welcomed with relief in the world capitals. 830 01:14:27,630 --> 01:14:29,791 'Now it has become only a question of time 831 01:14:29,924 --> 01:14:32,415 'before some government raises its flag over Atoll "K'.' 832 01:14:33,928 --> 01:14:36,510 Some government's flag, they say. 833 01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:37,754 Do you hear that? 834 01:14:37,890 --> 01:14:40,632 Well, why don't we make a government of our own? 835 01:14:40,768 --> 01:14:43,180 Chérie's right! 836 01:14:45,648 --> 01:14:49,812 I'll write a constitution like has never been written before. 837 01:14:50,903 --> 01:14:53,736 Er... sharpen this! 838 01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:08,159 This will have to be a short constitution. 839 01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:11,620 Now... 840 01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:16,626 We, the people of... 841 01:15:18,264 --> 01:15:20,596 Of? 842 01:15:20,725 --> 01:15:23,011 Crusoeland... 843 01:15:23,144 --> 01:15:25,260 (All laughing) 844 01:15:26,731 --> 01:15:29,564 ...in order to save our island, 845 01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:35,608 do hereby form a government. 846 01:15:36,824 --> 01:15:38,564 Now, what kind of government do we want? 847 01:15:38,701 --> 01:15:40,407 Very little government would be good, I think. 848 01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:42,652 - Without too many laws. - And no passports. 849 01:15:43,497 --> 01:15:45,453 No passports. 850 01:15:45,583 --> 01:15:48,575 - And no prisons. - No prisons. 851 01:15:48,711 --> 01:15:50,542 (Mumbles) No taxes. 852 01:15:52,631 --> 01:15:54,212 What? 853 01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:58,593 - No taxes. - No taxes. 854 01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:02,129 Say, this is getting to be a perfect government. 855 01:16:02,266 --> 01:16:05,929 And I will add "no laws" and "no money". 856 01:16:06,729 --> 01:16:08,265 And that's all we have room for. 857 01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:13,023 Now, the next thing is to hold an election. | vote for myself as President. 858 01:16:13,152 --> 01:16:15,234 And Stanley seconds the motion. 859 01:16:15,362 --> 01:16:18,570 But I'm the discoverer of our island! | vote for me! 860 01:16:18,699 --> 01:16:20,690 - You vote for me too, don't you? - No, no, no, no. 861 01:16:20,826 --> 01:16:22,691 Giovanni, votes only for Giovanni! 862 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:26,112 The electioneering is over! 863 01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:31,997 Cherie. 864 01:16:32,129 --> 01:16:34,085 Count the votes. 865 01:16:34,215 --> 01:16:36,422 One vote for Giovanni. 866 01:16:36,550 --> 01:16:38,836 One vote for Antoine. 867 01:16:38,969 --> 01:16:41,711 One, two, three... 868 01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:43,633 Three votes for Oliver Crusoe. 869 01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:46,758 The President is elected by a comfortable majority. 870 01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:55,524 As President of Crusoeland, I will now choose my cabinet. 871 01:16:55,653 --> 01:16:58,269 Cherie, you are my Vice President. 872 01:16:58,405 --> 01:17:01,192 Oh, thank you, Mr President. 873 01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:04,237 Antoine, and you are my foreign minister. 874 01:17:05,079 --> 01:17:07,445 I am very proud. 875 01:17:07,581 --> 01:17:10,243 Giovanni, you are the minister of construction. 876 01:17:10,376 --> 01:17:12,833 You couldn't have made a better choice. 877 01:17:14,004 --> 01:17:15,710 Well, that's that! 878 01:17:19,468 --> 01:17:24,087 - What about me? - Stanley, you are the people! 879 01:17:24,223 --> 01:17:26,430 I don't want to be the people. 880 01:17:26,559 --> 01:17:28,595 What do you mean, you don't want to be the people? 881 01:17:28,727 --> 01:17:31,093 There are more of you than there are of us! 882 01:17:31,230 --> 01:17:33,767 - You mean, there's a lot of me? - Certainly! 883 01:17:33,899 --> 01:17:36,732 Oh, well! Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know. 884 01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:40,603 Mr President, but now we will have to have a flag. 885 01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:44,899 Giovanni's right. We can't have a government without a flag. 886 01:17:46,871 --> 01:17:50,580 - Can't we use this as a flag? - That will be perfect! 887 01:17:50,708 --> 01:17:53,165 Yes, but we'll need an emblem. 888 01:17:53,294 --> 01:17:56,252 Wait a second. I have an idea. 889 01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:26,816 (Train whistle blows) 890 01:18:36,837 --> 01:18:39,249 (.i‘ Humming) 891 01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:42,498 It's impossible to keep this house clean. 892 01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,377 Look at that. Terrible. 893 01:18:51,685 --> 01:18:53,676 See? The dust did that. 894 01:18:57,524 --> 01:18:59,810 (.i‘ Bagpipes playing) 895 01:19:21,674 --> 01:19:23,414 Stan, Ollie! 896 01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:25,256 - What happened? - Looks like we're being invaded. 897 01:19:25,386 --> 01:19:27,217 - What happened? - Take a look at the beach. 898 01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:44,102 (Official) Under the principle of self-determination, 899 01:19:44,238 --> 01:19:48,402 the constitution proposed by the government has been ratified by unanimous vote. 900 01:19:49,618 --> 01:19:51,199 We have no other alternative 901 01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:54,991 but to recognise this new sovereign state, the Crusoeland. 902 01:20:42,629 --> 01:20:44,210 Pardon me. 903 01:20:45,382 --> 01:20:47,464 Pardon me. 904 01:20:50,929 --> 01:20:53,386 Oh boy, oh boy, it's great, my boa/Y/abal'sse. 905 01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:57,303 - Waiter, waiter! - Antoine, more boa/Y/abal'sse. 906 01:20:57,436 --> 01:21:00,052 - Poor Antoine. - "Poor Antoine" is right. 907 01:21:05,569 --> 01:21:07,776 - How much do I owe you, buddy? - Nothing. 908 01:21:07,905 --> 01:21:10,112 - Nothing at all? - Oh, absolutely nothing. 909 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:12,105 This is a free country. 910 01:21:12,242 --> 01:21:14,824 Oh, boy, if I'd known that, I'd have taken a bottle. 911 01:21:14,953 --> 01:21:16,193 Here, take one. 912 01:21:16,330 --> 01:21:19,413 - Er, give him another one, Stanley. - Why, certainly. 913 01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:22,624 Oh, gee, thanks, mister. Thanks a million, mister. 914 01:21:23,837 --> 01:21:25,953 Give me that. 915 01:21:27,966 --> 01:21:30,048 (People screaming) 916 01:21:32,596 --> 01:21:34,632 What's the idea of giving that stuff away? 917 01:21:34,765 --> 01:21:37,757 I brought this liquor out here so I could sell it. I want cash. 918 01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:40,305 But money is against the rules of our constitution. 919 01:21:40,437 --> 01:21:43,929 - Yeah, and we have no taxes either. - Oh, yeah? 920 01:21:44,066 --> 01:21:46,182 Taxes I don't care about. 921 01:21:46,318 --> 01:21:48,400 You gotta make money for me, or else! 922 01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:51,396 Out of my way, fatty! 923 01:21:51,532 --> 01:21:53,568 Give me a bottle of cognac. 924 01:21:58,580 --> 01:21:59,740 Which one? 925 01:22:00,916 --> 01:22:02,406 (People screaming) 926 01:22:04,670 --> 01:22:06,410 That one. 927 01:22:11,760 --> 01:22:15,127 - I'm sorry, but you'll have to pay for that. - Who said so? 928 01:22:16,348 --> 01:22:17,963 He did. 929 01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:22,726 (People screaming) 930 01:22:30,571 --> 01:22:32,857 What are you having? 931 01:22:32,990 --> 01:22:35,572 - You! - Let me go. You can't do that. 932 01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:38,363 (Laughs) They say it's a free country here. 933 01:22:38,495 --> 01:22:42,113 As President of this island I demand that you desist. 934 01:22:42,249 --> 01:22:43,329 Ow! 935 01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:47,626 (Laughs) 936 01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:51,209 Ow! 937 01:22:51,341 --> 01:22:53,047 Do that again! 938 01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:59,133 You keep out of this, nitwit! 939 01:22:59,266 --> 01:23:01,427 I'll have you thrown off of this island for that! 940 01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:03,096 Yeah, we'll have you imported! 941 01:23:03,228 --> 01:23:06,641 If I were you, my fine friends, I wouldn't be too sure. 942 01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:10,061 See you later. 943 01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:12,567 Gentlemen. 944 01:23:12,696 --> 01:23:16,109 I'll have him thrown off of this island if it's the last thing I do. 945 01:23:16,241 --> 01:23:17,447 That's not possible. 946 01:23:17,576 --> 01:23:19,567 - Why not? - Because we have no such laws. 947 01:23:19,703 --> 01:23:22,786 Yes, that would be pretty difficult. We'd be forced to change the constitution. 948 01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:26,783 If you want my advice, Mr President, call a meeting of the cabinet. 949 01:23:26,919 --> 01:23:28,830 That's a good idea. Come on. 950 01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,419 We'll attend to that right now! 951 01:23:32,758 --> 01:23:34,874 Enjoy yourself, folks. We'll be right back. 952 01:23:35,010 --> 01:23:37,251 (.i‘ Accordion plays) 953 01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:43,136 This island is a paradise governed by idiots. 954 01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:46,852 A man like me could put himself in power 955 01:23:46,980 --> 01:23:51,223 and lay his hands on a chunk of money, just think of it! 956 01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:52,475 Do you want to come in on it with me? 957 01:23:52,611 --> 01:23:55,102 Sounds all right, but what are the people going to say? 958 01:23:55,239 --> 01:23:56,945 They are happy with things the way they are. 959 01:23:57,074 --> 01:23:59,235 The people! Bah! 960 01:23:59,368 --> 01:24:01,359 We'll just tell them they're not happy. 961 01:24:01,495 --> 01:24:03,451 They're always ready to believe that. 962 01:24:03,580 --> 01:24:06,037 We'll have to organise a few demonstrations, 963 01:24:06,166 --> 01:24:09,283 just to show them how dangerous it is to live without laws. 964 01:24:09,419 --> 01:24:10,829 I'm afraid you're late. 965 01:24:10,963 --> 01:24:12,919 The President has just put up a proclamation 966 01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:16,336 declaring that from now on, law and order will be the rule. 967 01:24:39,449 --> 01:24:41,030 It sure is quiet out there. 968 01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:44,151 That's because I showed a firm hand with our proclamation. 969 01:24:44,288 --> 01:24:46,745 (Clamouring) 970 01:24:49,835 --> 01:24:51,871 Come on! Read that! 971 01:24:58,844 --> 01:25:01,756 Now I'll make a tour round the island and test the public's reaction. 972 01:25:04,933 --> 01:25:07,424 You don't have to. They're coming to visit you. 973 01:25:07,561 --> 01:25:08,767 They're coming to apologise. 974 01:25:08,854 --> 01:25:13,314 (Laughs) I knew that would bring them to their senses. 975 01:25:19,072 --> 01:25:22,235 - Who wrote that? - He did! 976 01:25:24,244 --> 01:25:25,859 Ow! 977 01:25:25,996 --> 01:25:28,988 - | now put you under arrest! - But he's the President. 978 01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:31,581 He certainly is. 979 01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:35,623 Why don't you hang him? 980 01:25:35,756 --> 01:25:39,169 You have just given me an excellent idea. 981 01:25:39,301 --> 01:25:41,337 As defender of law and order, 982 01:25:41,470 --> 01:25:44,257 I can guarantee you will have a fair and honest trial. 983 01:25:44,973 --> 01:25:50,093 You will confess everything and then you will be hanged like gentlemen, at sunrise. 984 01:25:50,228 --> 01:25:51,559 Thank you very much. 985 01:25:52,606 --> 01:25:54,096 Er... 986 01:25:55,484 --> 01:25:57,065 What'd he say? 987 01:25:57,194 --> 01:25:59,856 Why don't you keep your big mouth shut? 988 01:25:59,988 --> 01:26:02,070 Are you going to hang her, too? 989 01:26:02,199 --> 01:26:03,905 Of course not. 990 01:26:04,034 --> 01:26:06,320 She is much too beautiful. 991 01:26:06,453 --> 01:26:09,035 If you will consent, my dear, 992 01:26:12,959 --> 01:26:15,075 What can I say, but "thank you"? 993 01:26:15,212 --> 01:26:17,794 I can't believe my ears. 994 01:26:17,923 --> 01:26:21,791 Well, if you can't believe those ears, you can't believe anything. 995 01:26:21,927 --> 01:26:23,633 Put some guards around the house. 996 01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:27,095 l'll immediately go and start a crew building a gallows. 997 01:26:27,224 --> 01:26:32,594 Oh, by the way... Now that I'm going to be President, I'll need that outfit. 998 01:26:32,729 --> 01:26:36,392 - Will you accompany me, my dear? - But of course. 999 01:26:45,200 --> 01:26:48,363 - I still can't believe my... - Oh, shut up! 1000 01:26:48,495 --> 01:26:49,701 Mmh! 1001 01:27:00,924 --> 01:27:03,711 See if the guards are still out there. 1002 01:27:16,231 --> 01:27:18,017 (Gunshots) 1003 01:27:18,150 --> 01:27:19,640 He missed me! 1004 01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:31,944 (Radio) 'Attention! Attention! 1005 01:27:32,080 --> 01:27:34,662 'Commander in chief, geographic station Tahiti. 1006 01:27:34,791 --> 01:27:37,373 'calling Lieutenant Frazer. SS Aria. 1007 01:27:37,502 --> 01:27:41,836 'Report your position. 8:30am, wavelength 15 metres. Over.' 1008 01:27:41,965 --> 01:27:45,002 It was lucky I was hired to come here as a radio operator. 1009 01:27:46,720 --> 01:27:49,257 Which reminds me, he was just looking for you, Alecto. 1010 01:27:49,389 --> 01:27:50,799 Huh? 1011 01:27:51,641 --> 01:27:54,633 - Where is he? - Er, over there. 1012 01:27:59,524 --> 01:28:03,608 Hello. Lieutenant Frazer. Lieutenant Frazer! 1013 01:28:07,407 --> 01:28:09,989 Lieutenant, it's for you. 1014 01:28:12,871 --> 01:28:14,156 Sounds like a dame. 1015 01:28:14,289 --> 01:28:16,245 Lieutenant Frazer. Lieutenant Frazer! 1016 01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:20,038 Hello, Snow White. Don't tell me the dwarves are annoying you. 1017 01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:21,910 Hello, Jack. Oh, listen to me. 1018 01:28:22,047 --> 01:28:24,254 You've got to come right away. They've started a revolution. 1019 01:28:24,382 --> 01:28:26,589 They've built the gallows. They're going to hang everyone. 1020 01:28:26,718 --> 01:28:28,629 I need you! Do you hear me? 1021 01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:31,469 Change your course, 20 points to starboard. 1022 01:28:31,598 --> 01:28:32,678 (Bell rings) 1023 01:28:35,101 --> 01:28:38,514 Of course I can hear you, but you don't really need me. 1024 01:28:38,647 --> 01:28:41,354 But Jack, don't kid me. There isn't a minute to lose. 1025 01:28:41,483 --> 01:28:43,314 - lfyou love me... - (Ringleader) You two! 1026 01:28:43,443 --> 01:28:47,561 Round up everybody and tell them the traitors to the government of Crusoeland 1027 01:28:47,697 --> 01:28:49,608 will be hanged within the hour. 1028 01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:52,904 And now let's get the principal actors a little opera. 1029 01:29:03,046 --> 01:29:06,334 One, two, three, four... 1030 01:29:06,466 --> 01:29:08,172 Let's go! 1031 01:30:25,378 --> 01:30:28,415 (Sneezing) 1032 01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:30,755 (Thud) 1033 01:30:33,595 --> 01:30:35,756 - Get away! Quick! - Is this another one of your tricks? 1034 01:30:35,889 --> 01:30:39,006 - What do you mean, tricks? - Tricks! Sure, she's full of them. 1035 01:30:39,142 --> 01:30:42,179 - We go outside and the guards shoot us. - You're wrong! 1036 01:30:42,312 --> 01:30:44,428 | just got rid of the guards outside. 1037 01:30:44,564 --> 01:30:46,646 I put a stone in my purse. 1038 01:30:46,775 --> 01:30:48,060 Oh! 1039 01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:52,277 I went with Alecto only because one of us had to remain free to save the others. 1040 01:30:52,405 --> 01:30:54,896 - What are we waiting for? - Come on! 1041 01:30:55,742 --> 01:30:58,859 - No. I'm staying here. - But we can't leave you here! 1042 01:30:58,995 --> 01:31:00,986 I've got to stay here and send them in the other direction. 1043 01:31:01,122 --> 01:31:05,035 - Thank you very much, Miss. - Oh, no, hurry up! Hurry up! 1044 01:31:20,517 --> 01:31:22,974 (Clamouring) 1045 01:31:30,443 --> 01:31:32,650 - How did it happen? - I haven't got time to explain! 1046 01:31:32,779 --> 01:31:35,486 You've got to run and try and catch those brutes. 1047 01:31:35,615 --> 01:31:38,106 But did you notice which way they went? 1048 01:31:38,243 --> 01:31:39,653 That way! 1049 01:31:39,786 --> 01:31:41,276 Follow me! 1050 01:31:54,718 --> 01:31:56,424 Come on! 1051 01:32:03,518 --> 01:32:05,133 (Shouting) 1052 01:32:06,771 --> 01:32:08,932 Follow me! 1053 01:32:23,747 --> 01:32:25,738 Hurry up! They went this way! 1054 01:32:36,718 --> 01:32:39,209 - Hey, look at that! - Oh! 1055 01:32:55,779 --> 01:32:57,144 I think we're safe here. 1056 01:32:58,490 --> 01:33:00,105 Don't you? 1057 01:33:11,753 --> 01:33:13,869 He must have fainted. 1058 01:33:28,144 --> 01:33:30,556 What happened? 1059 01:33:38,154 --> 01:33:39,269 Cherie! 1060 01:33:39,739 --> 01:33:40,774 Oh! 1061 01:33:40,907 --> 01:33:42,772 lt's Cherie! 1062 01:33:48,039 --> 01:33:50,280 Stan, answer me. Forgive me. 1063 01:33:50,416 --> 01:33:53,032 I didn't know it was you. Please, look at me. 1064 01:33:55,213 --> 01:33:57,795 - How did you manage to catch them? - But I... l... 1065 01:33:59,384 --> 01:34:04,674 The girl is absolutely wonderful. She has a stone in her bag! (Laughs) 1066 01:34:05,181 --> 01:34:06,762 Quick! Get them out! 1067 01:34:06,891 --> 01:34:09,348 We're going to give the signal for the show to begin. 1068 01:34:10,019 --> 01:34:12,260 As a token of thanks for your help, 1069 01:34:12,397 --> 01:34:14,888 without which I could never have succeeded, 1070 01:34:15,024 --> 01:34:18,107 I am giving you the honour of pulling the lever 1071 01:34:18,236 --> 01:34:21,728 that will drop these traitors into eternity. 1072 01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:35,785 Alecto! Alecto! This girl is in cahoots with the traitors! 1073 01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:37,831 Look where he's standing. 1074 01:34:37,964 --> 01:34:41,172 - What are you talking about? - She overpowered us and let them escape! 1075 01:34:41,718 --> 01:34:44,130 Argh! Argh! 1076 01:34:56,149 --> 01:34:58,265 (Screaming) 1077 01:35:52,121 --> 01:35:54,077 I don't get it. I've just been checking. 1078 01:35:54,207 --> 01:35:57,370 We're exactly on the position where the island stood. 1079 01:36:00,171 --> 01:36:02,753 (Narrator) 'This is what you'd call a lucky break.' 1080 01:36:05,385 --> 01:36:08,673 - Oh, no! - What do you mean, "no"? 1081 01:36:08,805 --> 01:36:11,387 - I don't want to be rescued by him! - Why not? 1082 01:36:11,516 --> 01:36:13,256 He was too long getting here! 1083 01:36:13,393 --> 01:36:15,805 (Narrator) 'This world of ours is definitely no fair place, 1084 01:36:15,937 --> 01:36:18,553 'but people go on living just the same. 1085 01:36:18,690 --> 01:36:21,272 'Cherie Lamour is finally marrying her Lieutenant, 1086 01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:25,235 'and they look forward to many years of happily married life.' 1087 01:36:25,363 --> 01:36:28,321 Do you take for your wedded wife Miss Cherie Lamour? 1088 01:36:28,449 --> 01:36:30,610 - OK, OK! - Right, right. 1089 01:36:30,743 --> 01:36:33,576 - | now pronounce you man and wife. - It was you who jilted me! 1090 01:36:33,705 --> 01:36:34,945 - ljilted you, you say? - Yes! 1091 01:36:35,081 --> 01:36:37,322 (Narrator) 'Giovanni has gone back to his native ltaly. 1092 01:36:37,458 --> 01:36:41,918 'lnstead of building marble palaces, he'll go on forever building fences. 1093 01:36:43,006 --> 01:36:46,123 'Antoine has been brought back to the boat from which he ran away. 1094 01:36:46,259 --> 01:36:48,625 'Still anxious to give up this life of wandering, 1095 01:36:48,761 --> 01:36:51,844 'he tries once more his usual means of escape. 1096 01:36:51,973 --> 01:36:55,761 'But this time he's gotten into the wrong sort of cage.' 1097 01:36:55,893 --> 01:36:58,350 (Roaring) 1098 01:37:03,943 --> 01:37:05,524 'As for our two heroes, 1099 01:37:05,653 --> 01:37:09,316 'after all their mishaps, they've finally gotten their inheritance - 1100 01:37:09,449 --> 01:37:11,815 'their own South Sea island. 1101 01:37:11,951 --> 01:37:15,535 'And there, far away from all the cares of the world, 1102 01:37:15,663 --> 01:37:18,370 'they settle down to a well-earned rest.' 1103 01:37:18,499 --> 01:37:21,206 Gee, that was sure was nice of Frazer and Cherie 1104 01:37:21,336 --> 01:37:24,123 to land us here on our own real island. 1105 01:37:24,255 --> 01:37:27,088 Give us all this food and everything. 1106 01:37:27,216 --> 01:37:30,629 - Just like a fresh start in life. - It certainly is. 1107 01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:34,346 And they're going to bring us new supplies every six months. 1108 01:37:34,474 --> 01:37:37,307 At last, all of our troubles are over. 1109 01:37:37,435 --> 01:37:42,304 Yes, sir. Nothing to do from now on but eat and sleep. 1110 01:37:42,440 --> 01:37:45,523 And nobody to tell us what to do. 1111 01:37:48,404 --> 01:37:51,271 - What are you doing here? - What are we doing here? 1112 01:37:51,407 --> 01:37:53,363 This is ourisland! 1113 01:37:53,493 --> 01:37:54,653 There must be some mistake. 1114 01:37:54,786 --> 01:37:56,742 This island has been taken over by the government 1115 01:37:56,871 --> 01:37:58,736 for insufficient payment of inheritance taxes. 1116 01:37:58,873 --> 01:38:01,239 Moreover, you've also been fined for the delay. 1117 01:38:02,126 --> 01:38:04,583 It's my duty to seize your supplies and food. 1118 01:38:04,712 --> 01:38:06,623 Take it away! 1119 01:38:13,971 --> 01:38:18,089 Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into! 1120 01:38:18,226 --> 01:38:21,889 (Crying) Well, I couldn't help it. You're always blaming me for everything. 1121 01:38:22,021 --> 01:38:24,854 I didn't know... (Continues indistinctly) 1122 01:38:26,484 --> 01:38:28,691 (Sobbing) 87860