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1
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:24,792
Watch it!
2
00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:38,931
Just like the one that got away
3
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,309
So close, but yet so far
4
00:00:41,392 --> 00:00:42,810
UP THE CREEK
5
00:00:42,894 --> 00:00:45,313
I threw my hook into the water
6
00:00:45,396 --> 00:00:47,315
I nearly caught her
7
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,400
How bizarre
8
00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:52,153
Now I'm up the creek
9
00:00:52,236 --> 00:00:54,720
Though I have lost a little pride
10
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,782
I'm up the creek
11
00:00:55,865 --> 00:00:57,575
I know that time is on my side
12
00:00:57,659 --> 00:00:59,535
I'm up the creek
13
00:00:59,619 --> 00:01:01,412
Though you have pulled the plug on me
14
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:03,289
I'm up the creek
15
00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:05,249
There's more than one fish in the sea
16
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:07,850
I'm not about to let it be
17
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,504
I know that I am up the creek
18
00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:12,382
Hey! Hey!
19
00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:19,764
The foreign legion's always there
20
00:01:20,139 --> 00:01:22,600
I need a holiday
21
00:01:23,935 --> 00:01:26,479
Daydream in the desert
22
00:01:26,562 --> 00:01:28,314
With no pressure
23
00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:33,690
That's the way
'cause I'm up the creek
24
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:34,904
Oh, I've lost a little pride
25
00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,823
I'm up the creek
26
00:01:36,906 --> 00:01:38,741
I know that time is on my side
27
00:01:38,825 --> 00:01:40,535
I'm up the creek
28
00:01:40,618 --> 00:01:42,245
Though you have pulled the plug on me
29
00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:44,288
I'm up the creek
30
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,165
There's more than one fish in the sea
31
00:01:46,249 --> 00:01:48,000
I'm not about to let it be
32
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,420
I know that I am up the creek
33
00:01:53,256 --> 00:01:55,490
I'm up the creek
34
00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:56,926
Without a paddle
35
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:58,761
I'm up the creek
36
00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:01,139
But that don't matter at all
37
00:02:03,141 --> 00:02:05,309
Don't matter at all
38
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,897
I'm up the creek
39
00:02:09,981 --> 00:02:11,733
Without a paddle
40
00:02:11,816 --> 00:02:13,359
I'm up the creek
41
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:16,612
But it don't matter at all
42
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,575
Don't matter at all
43
00:02:22,618 --> 00:02:24,120
Oh!
44
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,165
Hey! Hey!
45
00:02:31,878 --> 00:02:39,100
LEPETOMANE UNIVERSITY
LAST CAMPUS
46
00:02:55,651 --> 00:02:59,300
LEPETOMANE
SECURITY
47
00:03:18,382 --> 00:03:19,550
Excuse me, could you...
48
00:03:22,261 --> 00:03:24,222
What a big nightstick!
49
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,954
Mom? No! Take me!
50
00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:50,748
It wasn't Mr. Moo-moo.
Don't wake Mr. Moo-moo!
51
00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:51,958
No!
52
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:08,724
Okay, okay.
How about lunch?
53
00:04:08,808 --> 00:04:09,892
Gotta get lunch, right?
54
00:04:09,976 --> 00:04:11,435
Max, it's five in the morning!
55
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,855
What about dinner?
You gotta get hungry sometime today...
56
00:04:13,938 --> 00:04:14,981
Hello?
57
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:19,680
Desperation's not pretty.
58
00:04:45,803 --> 00:04:46,971
Cheese!
59
00:05:05,656 --> 00:05:06,824
Hey!
60
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,754
See Jose run.
61
00:05:22,173 --> 00:05:23,925
Run, Jose, run!
62
00:05:27,511 --> 00:05:30,598
Jose has no green card.
63
00:05:43,736 --> 00:05:45,710
It was open!
64
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,281
Get out of bed, McGraw,
we haven't got all day.
65
00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,408
The 200's out then, huh?
66
00:05:49,492 --> 00:05:51,350
I've seen your record, McGraw.
67
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,828
I know what kind of a guy you are,
68
00:05:52,912 --> 00:05:54,455
so don't give me
an excuse to use this.
69
00:05:54,956 --> 00:05:57,233
Your mother's ugly.
You're stupid.
70
00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:58,934
- Your sister makes it with...
- You stinking...
71
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,962
Stop it, Leslie.
Get ahold of yourself!
72
00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:02,588
Don't let this jerk get to you.
73
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,966
Come on, I'm sorry.
74
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,968
Let's just forget
I said anything, okay?
75
00:06:07,551 --> 00:06:09,261
Let's be pals.
76
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,847
What do you say, Leslie?
77
00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:13,990
Leslie!
78
00:06:13,182 --> 00:06:14,850
Come on,
let me hit him just once.
79
00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:17,603
Just one little crack on the head,
that's all I'm asking.
80
00:06:17,687 --> 00:06:20,564
All right. Just a little one.
But make it fast.
81
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,858
Hey, don't you guys
have a sense of humor?
82
00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:32,702
Get rid of the bottle, McGraw.
83
00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:35,413
Oh, Leslie.
For you, anything.
84
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,875
Come on. Come on.
85
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,170
Hey!
86
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,477
Dean Burch.
87
00:06:59,895 --> 00:07:03,232
You've had quite a colorful
career as a student, Mr. McGraw.
88
00:07:03,941 --> 00:07:06,986
You've managed to be suspended,
expelled, or physically thrown out of
89
00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:09,822
16 colleges and universities
throughout the country.
90
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:14,243
You've changed your major 23 times.
91
00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:17,790
And your presence has been tied directly
92
00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:20,416
to three university presidents
losing their jobs,
93
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,502
two others being
committed to sanitariums,
94
00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:26,500
and at least one known suicide.
95
00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:28,883
Have I left anything out?
96
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,634
Just the good stuff.
97
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:36,724
Mr. McGraw, as you are aware,
98
00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:40,190
this university, our university
99
00:07:40,102 --> 00:07:44,273
has the reputation as the single worst
educational institution in the country.
100
00:07:44,648 --> 00:07:46,150
That's because it is the worst
101
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,402
educational institution
in the country, sir.
102
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,364
Do you realize
that not one single student,
103
00:07:52,448 --> 00:07:55,760
including you, and them,
104
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,829
has ever won any award
for anything?
105
00:07:59,371 --> 00:08:02,124
Not one ribbon, not one trophy.
106
00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:04,752
In fact,
the only certifiable recognition
107
00:08:04,835 --> 00:08:07,338
that any of our alumni
have ever received
108
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,923
is a parole.
109
00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:16,347
Mr. McGraw,
every year for the past 15 years
110
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,474
the colleges and
universities of this country
111
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:21,769
have held an
intercollegiate raft race.
112
00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:26,524
If just once we...
113
00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:28,943
I mean you
114
00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:31,862
could win this race for our school,
115
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,781
it would mean an end
116
00:08:33,864 --> 00:08:36,117
to jokes like "Lobotomy U."
117
00:08:41,872 --> 00:08:44,875
it would mean that
for the first time in our history...
118
00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:49,672
Let me clarify my position,
so that you can understand.
119
00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,591
A raft means a river,
120
00:08:52,675 --> 00:08:55,594
and a river means rapids,
121
00:08:55,678 --> 00:08:58,472
and rapids spells death.
122
00:08:58,931 --> 00:09:00,182
You got the wrong guy!
123
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,434
Not so fast, McGraw!
124
00:09:03,227 --> 00:09:04,436
Okay.
125
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,982
You've got the wrong guy.
126
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,317
Excuse me, Dean Burch.
127
00:09:10,401 --> 00:09:13,362
Um, I think there's another point
that should be made.
128
00:09:13,445 --> 00:09:15,720
I don't need this aggravation,
129
00:09:15,156 --> 00:09:17,199
and this really
doesn't sound like a lot of fun.
130
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:18,951
I'm damned if I'll let my university
131
00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:21,453
be the laughing stock
of this country any longer!
132
00:09:21,537 --> 00:09:24,373
I want a victory with a capital "V"
and I want it now!
133
00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:27,209
No more excuses!
No more holding back!
134
00:09:27,585 --> 00:09:30,400
That's why I picked you.
And them!
135
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,214
You have the distinct honor of being
136
00:09:32,298 --> 00:09:34,925
the four worst students
in the entire country.
137
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,678
You are not
at the bottom of the list,
138
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,889
you are the bottom of the list!
139
00:09:40,431 --> 00:09:43,684
That's why you're going to
win this race for me and Lepetomane.
140
00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:46,520
You're the only men
who virtually have nothing left to lose!
141
00:09:47,146 --> 00:09:48,772
Except my temper.
142
00:09:49,398 --> 00:09:50,900
Mr. McGraw,
143
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,694
I'm not asking you
to do this for nothing.
144
00:09:54,236 --> 00:09:57,615
In fact, I'm prepared to
make a very generous offer.
145
00:09:58,449 --> 00:10:00,201
Degrees.
146
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:02,620
For all of you.
147
00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:05,164
Degrees?
148
00:10:05,247 --> 00:10:07,374
In whatever subject you like.
149
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,251
English lit?
150
00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:10,961
If that's what you want.
151
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:13,464
Providing, of course, that you win.
152
00:10:13,797 --> 00:10:14,882
Physics?
153
00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:17,509
Biochemistry.
With a minor in art history.
154
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,220
Home Ec?
155
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,645
And what if I say no?
156
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,482
I was hoping
we could avoid this scene,
157
00:10:32,107 --> 00:10:34,526
but since you feel
the need to test me...
158
00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:37,290
I suppose you know nothing
about the student loans
159
00:10:37,112 --> 00:10:40,282
you've taken out
in 35 different names.
160
00:10:40,658 --> 00:10:44,161
Or last semester's bookmaking
operation in the computer center.
161
00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:47,831
You think you can blackmail me
162
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:51,850
into playing this
little game of yours, don't you?
163
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,504
Well, I got news for you, Mister.
164
00:10:53,837 --> 00:10:56,840
This aingt just any dumb schmo
you're dealing with here,
165
00:10:57,299 --> 00:11:01,470
this is Bob McGraw.
The Bob McGraw.
166
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,932
And it's gonna take men
a lot bigger than you
167
00:11:05,474 --> 00:11:07,851
to make this guy play ball.
168
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,824
How about Poli-Sci?
169
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:26,787
I don't believe it!
170
00:11:26,912 --> 00:11:29,390
Bob, listen to this.
She dumped me!
171
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,666
Aw, come on, Max.
172
00:11:30,749 --> 00:11:33,252
Bob, she said she never
wants to see me again.
173
00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:35,879
Let me tell you something about women.
174
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,632
They always say
the opposite of what they mean.
175
00:11:39,910 --> 00:11:40,467
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
176
00:11:40,551 --> 00:11:42,720
"If you come within
a three block radius of my house,
177
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,970
"I will have my new boyfriend Vito
178
00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:47,891
"rip off your head
and spit in your neck."
179
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:50,728
You're right, kid.
You've been dumped.
180
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,813
Forget about her.
Have a drink, huh?
181
00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:55,482
The bar is now open.
Cocktails, anyone?
182
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:58,319
- Banana daiquiri.
- Martini, straight up.
183
00:11:58,402 --> 00:12:01,113
Okay. Here you go,
extra dry, just the way you like it.
184
00:12:01,196 --> 00:12:02,531
Thank you.
185
00:12:03,574 --> 00:12:05,750
How about you, big guy?
186
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,368
I'm all set.
187
00:12:09,246 --> 00:12:11,874
Gonzer, do you realize
what you're doing to your body?
188
00:12:12,207 --> 00:12:13,709
That stuff's gonna kill you!
189
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,128
Maybe not today
and maybe not tomorrow,
190
00:12:16,211 --> 00:12:18,255
but soon,
and for the rest of your life.
191
00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:19,757
Gonz, your body is your temple.
192
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,134
If you don't worship it,
who will?
193
00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:24,636
And, Gonz, your temple
is starting to resemble the astrodome.
194
00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:29,641
Hey, Max is right.
Get rid of that shit.
195
00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:31,977
Come on, Gonzer,
show food who's boss.
196
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:33,187
Throw it out the window.
197
00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:36,106
Gonzer! Gonzer!
198
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:39,777
Gonzer! Gonzer! Gonzer!
199
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,660
- That's the way to go!
- All right, Gonz!
200
00:12:48,744 --> 00:12:50,412
What would you like to drink?
201
00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:53,123
- Let me have a Brandy Alexander.
- Brandy Alexander.
202
00:12:53,624 --> 00:12:55,626
There you go.
Especially for you.
203
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,878
Gonz, you look thinner already.
204
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:00,964
Excuse me. Excuse me.
205
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,429
Uh, look, Bob,
I know we're not exactly the best.
206
00:13:07,513 --> 00:13:10,307
As a matter of fact,
we're not even very good.
207
00:13:10,391 --> 00:13:12,267
But, uh, do you think
we have a chance?
208
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,770
Everybody's got a chance, kid.
209
00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:16,688
This is America.
210
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:18,816
Let's take you, for example.
211
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,680
Skinny, uncoordinated,
212
00:13:21,151 --> 00:13:23,695
got a yellow streak
down your back a mile wide,
213
00:13:23,779 --> 00:13:27,320
you're anemic,
you dress like a creep,
214
00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:29,952
you've got the personality
of a mayo and baloney on white.
215
00:13:30,869 --> 00:13:34,810
You're the kind of guy most people
wouldn't give the time of day to.
216
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:36,830
What does that mean?
217
00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:37,376
I don't know.
218
00:13:37,459 --> 00:13:38,627
- That doesn't mean...
- Bob!
219
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:39,795
...you don't have a chance.
220
00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:40,921
Look at me!
221
00:13:44,299 --> 00:13:46,885
Gee, I never thought of it like that.
222
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,120
Hey, don't mention it, kid.
223
00:13:55,185 --> 00:13:56,979
Oh, geez!
224
00:13:57,354 --> 00:13:58,480
Gonzer!
225
00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:02,234
Oh, man!
226
00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:04,194
Gonzer!
227
00:14:04,862 --> 00:14:06,905
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
228
00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:09,320
It wasn't me, man.
229
00:14:09,992 --> 00:14:11,368
Who was it?
230
00:14:11,702 --> 00:14:13,412
- It wasn't!
- Who was it?
231
00:14:13,871 --> 00:14:14,997
It was Chuck!
232
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,972
Ivy U! Ivy U!
233
00:14:44,693 --> 00:14:45,986
Roland Tozer.
234
00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:47,696
- Rex Crandall.
- Rex.
235
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,448
- Roger Van Dyke.
- Roger.
236
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:53,368
Men, I have a lot of race preparation
to do before tomorrow morning.
237
00:14:53,452 --> 00:14:57,164
What do you say we just cut the bullshit
and get down to business?
238
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:01,100
Standard race equipment.
239
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,671
Regulation handle,
stock and blade.
240
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,400
With the exception of
a little added feature.
241
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:10,844
Which is quite effective
when it comes to
242
00:15:10,928 --> 00:15:13,972
slashing the tubes of rafts
without dropping a stroke.
243
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,433
-Impressive.
- Adequate.
244
00:15:16,892 --> 00:15:18,644
You haven't seen anything yet.
245
00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:21,104
The Ivy U race kit.
246
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,106
Baby!
247
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,527
These ought to take care
of any front runners.
248
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,945
Explosives!
249
00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,720
Is this it?
250
00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:33,242
Not to worry.
There's plenty more back at my house.
251
00:15:34,243 --> 00:15:35,994
What you cannot destroy or disable,
252
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,539
I will have my referees disqualify.
253
00:15:39,456 --> 00:15:41,410
Good. Very good.
254
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:45,462
Here it is. $5,000 in hundreds,
just like you requested.
255
00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:47,422
Well, thanks.
256
00:15:47,506 --> 00:15:49,508
Would you like the trophy now,
257
00:15:49,591 --> 00:15:52,135
or do you want to wait until
you actually cross the finish line?
258
00:15:52,511 --> 00:15:54,304
What,
and disappoint the crowd?
259
00:15:55,764 --> 00:15:57,808
I can't wait to be
standing on my deck
260
00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:00,978
watching you come
around that bend. Thanks.
261
00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:03,313
Aren't you gonna count it?
262
00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:08,151
What, distrust of an alumnus?
Class of '63.
263
00:16:10,529 --> 00:16:12,406
I'll see you in the winner's circle.
264
00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:14,199
Thank you, sir.
265
00:16:16,952 --> 00:16:19,204
HINEWILLE
GAS - FOOD - BEER - FISHING TACKLE
266
00:16:35,178 --> 00:16:40,350
I need a shave. Bath.
Cup of coffee and a good woman.
267
00:16:40,809 --> 00:16:44,210
Something told me
we've come to the wrong place.
268
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,147
Fill it up, Gonz.
269
00:16:49,985 --> 00:16:51,570
You got any money?
270
00:16:57,993 --> 00:16:59,536
What the hell's this?
271
00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:06,209
Will you check the oil?
272
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,670
Yes, sir.
Just as soon as I'm done here.
273
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:10,839
What the heck,
I'll do that for you.
274
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:13,175
No use you standing there
holding your hose.
275
00:17:14,885 --> 00:17:16,511
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot.
276
00:17:16,595 --> 00:17:19,222
Sure. That's it there.
277
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,517
- Hiya.
- Hi, how are ya?
278
00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:23,727
Not bad. Yourself?
279
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,145
- Okay.
- Good.
280
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:27,606
Lots of grit.
281
00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:30,250
Yeah, they get
that way, I guess.
282
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:36,114
Looks good.
283
00:17:36,198 --> 00:17:37,824
Looks great to me.
284
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,331
Wait. Wait.
Maybe you better check the battery.
285
00:17:44,414 --> 00:17:45,957
It's in here somewhere.
I'm not sure where it is.
286
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:47,209
It's over here.
287
00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:50,870
- Oh, that's a big one.
- Yeah, they gotta be.
288
00:17:50,462 --> 00:17:51,505
Get up!
289
00:17:51,588 --> 00:17:53,465
You give me a hard on!
290
00:17:53,548 --> 00:17:54,591
Get up!
291
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,968
Party!
292
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,721
Ivy U! Ivy U!
293
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,124
Listen to this part, you guys.
294
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,293
"His strong hands
ran over her hardened nipples.
295
00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:32,838
"The tender touch
of his glistening body
296
00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:35,966
"sent shock waves
running through her naked breasts."
297
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:38,719
I believe I've read
this book before, Molly.
298
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,637
You know, I think I read it, too.
299
00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:42,970
I think it's in the next chapter
300
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:44,975
where they start talking about
his "throbbing spaceship of love."
301
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,610
Is that what Rexy-poo calls it?
302
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,522
Never mind, Corky.
303
00:18:52,607 --> 00:18:55,861
Look! It's Rexy and the Ivy boys.
304
00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:57,612
If it isn't the spaceship of love.
305
00:18:57,696 --> 00:18:59,990
And it's throbbing away, I'm sure.
306
00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:02,576
Can you believe it?
We actually caught up with these guys!
307
00:19:02,659 --> 00:19:04,161
At 110 miles per hour,
308
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,746
I'm surprised
we didn't run them over.
309
00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:06,872
Really!
310
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,598
Looks like Rex has other things
on his mind besides me.
311
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,183
Oh!
312
00:19:26,892 --> 00:19:28,518
Fill it up, okay?
313
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,947
Okay. ls there anything else?
314
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,617
Gaskets? New upholstery?
Retreads? Paint job?
315
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,660
No, I think that's about it.
316
00:19:45,744 --> 00:19:47,245
I think everything's okey-dokey.
317
00:19:47,329 --> 00:19:48,413
- O key-dokey?
- Yeah.
318
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:56,463
Wait!
319
00:20:04,596 --> 00:20:05,764
Is that it?
320
00:20:05,847 --> 00:20:07,849
Well, the air cleaner.
321
00:20:08,183 --> 00:20:10,727
We've been having trouble
with the suction.
322
00:20:13,605 --> 00:20:16,358
Rex, I know you're in there!
Now open this door now!
323
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,277
Ladies!
324
00:20:19,361 --> 00:20:20,904
May I be of some assistance here?
325
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,197
Not unless you can open that door.
326
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,657
No problem. Hair pin?
327
00:20:24,574 --> 00:20:27,118
- Heather!
- Listen, if you guys aren't busy later...
328
00:20:30,455 --> 00:20:31,873
You can't see a thing.
329
00:20:32,749 --> 00:20:34,668
Come on, Rex has got
business to take care of.
330
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,509
Heather! Hi.
331
00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:46,471
Peaches!
What are you doing here?
332
00:20:47,806 --> 00:20:50,225
That's it. That does it.
It's over!
333
00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:52,644
Maybe dinner?
Some dancing?
334
00:20:52,727 --> 00:20:53,979
You're an asshole!
335
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,230
Asshole already?
336
00:20:55,313 --> 00:20:56,481
Heather, wait a minute!
337
00:20:57,315 --> 00:20:59,109
Chuck, next time don't drink
out of the toilet bowl
338
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,277
till I check it first, okay?
339
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,821
- Heather...
- Not now.
340
00:21:04,114 --> 00:21:05,323
Heather!
341
00:21:05,490 --> 00:21:06,783
I have nothing to say to you.
342
00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:08,410
I'm sure if you just
took the time to get to know me
343
00:21:08,493 --> 00:21:09,995
-we could work something out.
- Heather.
344
00:21:10,453 --> 00:21:12,664
I don't even want to see you again, ever.
Do you understand that?
345
00:21:12,747 --> 00:21:14,820
You are nothing
but a cheap, lying bastard.
346
00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:16,209
- I've had enough!
- Calm down!
347
00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:18,837
Who are you?
Get out of my way.
348
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,460
No, no, no. She's right.
349
00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:22,799
You are a cheap, lying bastard
and we've had enough.
350
00:21:22,883 --> 00:21:24,384
You stinking...
351
00:21:27,429 --> 00:21:29,222
I'm so sorry, Heather! I...
352
00:21:30,307 --> 00:21:31,641
Take your hands off her!
353
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:32,976
Take your hands off of me!
354
00:21:33,590 --> 00:21:34,936
Take your hands off of her!
355
00:21:36,313 --> 00:21:38,565
If ever I can be
of further assistance,
356
00:21:38,648 --> 00:21:40,275
feel free to call on me.
357
00:21:40,358 --> 00:21:42,569
Anytime, anywhere.
358
00:21:45,655 --> 00:21:47,115
Thank you.
359
00:21:52,871 --> 00:21:54,205
You son of a bitch.
360
00:21:58,668 --> 00:22:00,860
Sorry.
361
00:22:00,170 --> 00:22:02,964
You get in my way again,
and you're gonna be sorry you were born.
362
00:22:03,256 --> 00:22:06,900
He knew then and there that the
friendship they had had since youth
363
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,219
had died a sudden
and tragic death,
364
00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:10,130
destroyed by
the love of a woman.
365
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,312
Heather! Cupcake, listen to me!
366
00:22:17,395 --> 00:22:18,855
Forget it, Rex! You're history!
367
00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:21,149
Shit.
368
00:22:23,735 --> 00:22:26,404
213.37 - TOTAL SALE
155.9 - GALLONS
369
00:22:26,488 --> 00:22:28,281
$213.37?
370
00:22:30,325 --> 00:22:32,160
Keep the change, pal.
371
00:22:45,256 --> 00:22:47,676
I don't think I need
to remind you gentlemen
372
00:22:47,759 --> 00:22:49,719
about the importance of this race.
373
00:22:50,428 --> 00:22:52,847
I don't think I have to
bore you with the fact
374
00:22:52,931 --> 00:22:55,160
that the Washington Military Institute
375
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,728
has won this race
for the past three years!
376
00:22:59,104 --> 00:23:01,147
I don't think I need
to stress the fact
377
00:23:01,231 --> 00:23:04,192
that we will win this race
at any cost,
378
00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:07,362
because a corpsman,
in his heart, in his gut,
379
00:23:07,445 --> 00:23:09,239
knows no such thing as defeat!
380
00:23:10,782 --> 00:23:13,535
Victory is the only thing he'll eat.
381
00:23:14,350 --> 00:23:15,745
And he'll eat it raw!
382
00:23:16,287 --> 00:23:18,390
Will We Win?
383
00:23:18,123 --> 00:23:19,249
Yes, sir!
384
00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:21,209
Then move out!
385
00:23:21,292 --> 00:23:23,211
Detail, hut!
386
00:23:29,426 --> 00:23:31,386
All right, roll!
387
00:23:33,221 --> 00:23:34,806
You see that?
388
00:23:35,473 --> 00:23:41,210
WELCOME RIVER RACERS
389
00:23:46,276 --> 00:23:48,278
A town like any other town.
390
00:23:48,361 --> 00:23:50,613
A town with nothing to hide.
391
00:23:50,697 --> 00:23:53,199
Until they arrived.
392
00:23:53,283 --> 00:23:54,617
Okay!
393
00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:00,582
Come on, Chuck.
394
00:24:02,125 --> 00:24:03,376
Here we are.
395
00:24:04,627 --> 00:24:05,837
Ladies.
396
00:24:11,134 --> 00:24:14,679
Gonzer! Down, boy!
Down, boy. Here you go. Good boy.
397
00:24:19,893 --> 00:24:21,519
Nice finger.
398
00:24:21,603 --> 00:24:23,210
I was just checking out
the competition.
399
00:24:23,354 --> 00:24:24,647
Come on, Chuck!
400
00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:29,486
We're the men from WM!
401
00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:31,404
Shalom aleichem.
402
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,783
Yeah, a few more guys...
403
00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:38,787
Excuse me.
404
00:24:38,870 --> 00:24:40,914
Is that spacelab
up there?
405
00:24:40,997 --> 00:24:43,410
- No, I guess not.
- No.
406
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:55,530
The competition looks
a little weirder than I expected.
407
00:25:01,226 --> 00:25:03,603
What's the matter, Chuck?
You're not thirsty?
408
00:25:08,525 --> 00:25:11,194
Oh, it's the call, isn't it, Chuck?
409
00:25:12,821 --> 00:25:14,239
It's reaching out to you.
410
00:25:14,322 --> 00:25:15,865
It's pulling you from the gut.
411
00:25:16,740 --> 00:25:17,283
Isn't that right, boy?
412
00:25:17,659 --> 00:25:20,829
You meet me tomorrow morning,
10:00, at the portage.
413
00:25:20,912 --> 00:25:22,372
Don't be late.
414
00:25:22,455 --> 00:25:25,500
Come here, come here.
Come here, slugger.
415
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,756
Don't stay up all night,
and don't drink too much.
416
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,635
Remember that night on the west side
with that bitch, binga, binga?
417
00:25:35,718 --> 00:25:37,530
Go on, get outta here.
418
00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,432
Horny bastard.
419
00:25:49,650 --> 00:25:50,400
Thank you.
420
00:25:53,611 --> 00:25:54,904
Nice jugs.
421
00:26:01,244 --> 00:26:02,537
Ringside seats.
422
00:26:04,956 --> 00:26:07,830
Lively crowd, huh?
423
00:26:08,168 --> 00:26:09,794
Hey, did you order me
that old fashioned?
424
00:26:09,878 --> 00:26:12,172
Oh, yeah, just the way
you like it, extra bitters.
425
00:26:12,255 --> 00:26:15,258
I knew I could count on you.
Here's to mediocrity.
426
00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:17,218
Mediocrity, yeah!
427
00:26:24,142 --> 00:26:25,435
Nice right cross.
428
00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:30,273
Now, there's a girl
who knows how to party.
429
00:26:35,236 --> 00:26:36,696
Gonz,
who ordered this?
430
00:26:36,779 --> 00:26:38,239
I'll take it.
431
00:26:41,784 --> 00:26:44,162
There's the woman-hitter
and his colleagues.
432
00:26:44,245 --> 00:26:45,580
Nice hair.
433
00:26:49,792 --> 00:26:51,419
I don't think he likes you.
434
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,675
Would you look at
all that beefcake.
435
00:26:58,218 --> 00:27:01,120
The odds are definitely in our favor.
436
00:27:01,950 --> 00:27:02,764
Take no prisoners.
437
00:27:07,101 --> 00:27:08,686
- Here you go, ladies.
- Thanks.
438
00:27:08,770 --> 00:27:10,630
My pleasure.
439
00:27:10,438 --> 00:27:12,815
So you girls here
for the big race tomorrow?
440
00:27:12,899 --> 00:27:16,110
No, actually,
we're here to get laid.
441
00:27:21,282 --> 00:27:22,617
Look at that one there!
442
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:24,577
Gonzer, that's a guy.
443
00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:31,167
Hey, can I buy you a drink, Irwin?
444
00:27:31,251 --> 00:27:32,752
No, no, I'm fine.
445
00:27:32,835 --> 00:27:34,212
Pink dress.
446
00:27:34,671 --> 00:27:36,890
Max, no!
447
00:27:36,172 --> 00:27:37,382
Come on.
448
00:27:40,677 --> 00:27:42,178
Is it slowing?
449
00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,402
- Way to go, Gonz!
- Good job, buddy!
450
00:27:58,987 --> 00:28:02,615
Gentlemen!
Soldiers, the map! Once again.
451
00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:04,242
Johnson!
452
00:28:04,325 --> 00:28:06,327
We enter left,
we paddle right behind the big rock.
453
00:28:06,411 --> 00:28:08,454
Then left again
past the dead tree, sir!
454
00:28:08,538 --> 00:28:09,664
Brown !
455
00:28:09,747 --> 00:28:11,791
Hard forward
till we reach the turn of the rapids,
456
00:28:11,874 --> 00:28:13,126
then hug the shore, sir.
457
00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:14,752
Lieutenant Whitney!
458
00:28:14,836 --> 00:28:16,504
Baron's rapids,
head for the hole,
459
00:28:16,587 --> 00:28:19,382
do a 360 degree turn
and paddle hard right, sir!
460
00:28:19,716 --> 00:28:21,384
Good. Good.
461
00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:24,220
Now it's time for night-night.
462
00:28:25,596 --> 00:28:30,476
All right, guys, there's work to be done.
It's sabotage time.
463
00:28:41,237 --> 00:28:43,573
- What do you want?
- Stoli with a twist.
464
00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:48,286
Thank you.
465
00:29:07,805 --> 00:29:09,150
Hey, want a little popcorn?
466
00:29:09,980 --> 00:29:11,100
Oh! Excuse me.
Gosh, I spilled that.
467
00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:13,269
I'll get it. That's...
468
00:29:17,774 --> 00:29:19,233
Hey, watch it.
469
00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:21,690
Watch what?
470
00:29:21,152 --> 00:29:23,988
Watch what a fool
I can make out of myself.
471
00:29:24,238 --> 00:29:25,990
Is that worth watching?
472
00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:27,867
I'm very good at it,
473
00:29:27,950 --> 00:29:31,454
especially when I'm in the company
of such an attractive woman.
474
00:29:31,537 --> 00:29:33,539
Haven't we met
somewhere before?
475
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:37,100
I suppose
476
00:29:37,850 --> 00:29:39,670
next you're gonna ask me
if you can buy me a drink.
477
00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:42,256
"Aha" he says to himself,
478
00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:45,968
"here is a woman who knows
a come-on when she hears one.
479
00:29:46,677 --> 00:29:48,763
"He thinks he's got her
where he wants her,
480
00:29:48,846 --> 00:29:50,473
"but he has to make sure."
481
00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:52,809
Can I buy you a drink?
482
00:29:53,351 --> 00:29:55,978
She refuses with a shake
of her beautiful head.
483
00:29:56,620 --> 00:29:57,355
That's perfect!
484
00:29:57,438 --> 00:30:01,401
She's passed the second test,
but she's not an easy mark.
485
00:30:02,276 --> 00:30:04,153
Still, he must try the last line.
486
00:30:04,821 --> 00:30:05,947
What...
487
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:07,156
What's your major?
488
00:30:08,366 --> 00:30:09,659
Gin and tonic.
489
00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:10,993
Gin and tonic for the lady!
490
00:30:14,372 --> 00:30:16,624
Make it two, will you?
Thank you, my man.
491
00:30:16,707 --> 00:30:18,501
You wanna fool around?
You wanna get married?
492
00:30:18,584 --> 00:30:19,752
Want fellatio or what?
493
00:30:19,836 --> 00:30:22,505
If I'm being too forward,
just tell me to back off.
494
00:30:22,588 --> 00:30:24,382
How about a name first?
495
00:30:24,465 --> 00:30:27,218
An old-fashioned girl,
I like that.
496
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,110
McGraw.
497
00:30:30,555 --> 00:30:31,973
Bob McGraw.
498
00:30:33,724 --> 00:30:35,268
Rex, where you going?
499
00:30:35,351 --> 00:30:36,602
Hey, man!
500
00:30:37,687 --> 00:30:39,630
I'm Heather.
501
00:30:39,897 --> 00:30:41,691
Heather Merriweather.
502
00:30:54,454 --> 00:30:56,622
If I'm being too forward,
just tell me.
503
00:30:57,373 --> 00:30:59,584
No, no, no. Not at all.
504
00:31:01,419 --> 00:31:04,505
You know, it's a little crowded in here,
don't you think?
505
00:31:04,755 --> 00:31:05,965
Smoky.
506
00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:07,675
Noisy.
507
00:31:08,259 --> 00:31:09,802
Crowded.
508
00:31:10,344 --> 00:31:12,722
What do you say we go for a walk?
509
00:31:12,805 --> 00:31:14,265
To my room.
510
00:31:14,348 --> 00:31:15,683
What do you say we run?
511
00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:19,270
What do you say
give me 10 minutes?
512
00:31:19,353 --> 00:31:21,230
I'm in room 27.
513
00:31:21,731 --> 00:31:23,357
Do you think
you can remember that?
514
00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,611
I'll carve it in the back of my hand.
515
00:31:37,830 --> 00:31:40,541
I guess this means no bedtime story.
516
00:31:41,830 --> 00:31:43,336
If I'm not back in two hours,
517
00:31:43,419 --> 00:31:44,921
borrow a book.
518
00:31:45,213 --> 00:31:46,422
Book?
519
00:32:11,906 --> 00:32:14,408
You beautiful bomb.
520
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:34,387
It was a night.
521
00:32:34,470 --> 00:32:36,556
A real, wide open night
522
00:32:36,639 --> 00:32:39,600
filled with the stars
of a thousand dreams.
523
00:32:40,101 --> 00:32:43,563
It was the kind of night
that could only be found
524
00:32:43,646 --> 00:32:45,982
in a place called the West.
525
00:32:47,358 --> 00:32:49,819
Or maybe in a cheap spy novel.
526
00:32:50,361 --> 00:32:53,906
The kind with gorgeous,
smooth-skinned women
527
00:32:53,990 --> 00:32:57,660
with accents and .45 caliber lips.
528
00:33:08,588 --> 00:33:10,840
My, how time flies.
You dropped this!
529
00:33:20,391 --> 00:33:21,726
Are you all right?
530
00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:25,688
I'm gonna...
531
00:33:26,230 --> 00:33:27,815
I'm gonna get...
532
00:33:27,898 --> 00:33:29,525
I'm gonna get...
533
00:33:33,404 --> 00:33:35,906
Who's "ooh"?
534
00:33:52,673 --> 00:33:54,342
Who is it?
535
00:33:58,512 --> 00:34:00,348
- Hi.
- Hi.
536
00:34:01,766 --> 00:34:03,893
Why don't you come on in
and shut the door?
537
00:34:08,564 --> 00:34:09,732
Why don't you lock it?
538
00:34:14,987 --> 00:34:17,657
- Why don't you...
- I think I can take it from here.
539
00:34:25,289 --> 00:34:26,749
Well...
540
00:34:26,999 --> 00:34:28,834
Here we are.
541
00:34:29,877 --> 00:34:31,379
All by ourselves.
542
00:34:31,462 --> 00:34:32,546
With the door locked.
543
00:34:33,890 --> 00:34:35,508
And me lying on the bed
in a robe.
544
00:34:37,385 --> 00:34:40,638
I like a woman
who's not afraid to play hard to get.
545
00:34:41,639 --> 00:34:44,141
I like a man
who's not afraid to play hard.
546
00:34:48,396 --> 00:34:50,690
You know something,
Bob McGraw?
547
00:34:52,316 --> 00:34:54,680
You look a little warm.
548
00:34:54,485 --> 00:34:57,905
Why don't you slip into
something more comfortable?
549
00:34:58,489 --> 00:35:01,325
I didn't bring anything
"more comfortable."
550
00:35:02,910 --> 00:35:04,620
Well, how about me?
551
00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:09,375
You talked me into it.
552
00:35:18,551 --> 00:35:19,885
For crying out loud.
553
00:35:19,969 --> 00:35:23,970
This is a race, not a battlefield.
554
00:35:23,514 --> 00:35:26,892
With blatant disregard
for rules and regulations,
555
00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:29,895
frivolous misuse of
equipment and personnel...
556
00:35:29,979 --> 00:35:32,690
Where did you learn
to be a soldier, soldier?
557
00:35:32,773 --> 00:35:33,941
The institute, sir.
558
00:35:34,316 --> 00:35:35,526
Well, I hope, for your sake,
559
00:35:35,609 --> 00:35:37,319
the institute is a lenient one.
560
00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:41,824
Under the circumstances,
I have no choice
561
00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:44,660
but to impound your raft
and disqualify you.
562
00:35:52,501 --> 00:35:55,296
MOOSEHEAD
563
00:36:00,426 --> 00:36:02,136
- Tell me something.
- What?
564
00:36:03,429 --> 00:36:06,432
Was that as good for you
as it was for me?
565
00:36:06,515 --> 00:36:09,143
No. It was...
566
00:36:10,853 --> 00:36:13,522
Heather, it's Rex!
Are you in there?
567
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,816
- Company. How nice.
- Heather!
568
00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:18,652
Rex, go away!
I have nothing to say to you.
569
00:36:18,736 --> 00:36:21,280
You can just stay right here
and just ignore him, okay?
570
00:36:21,363 --> 00:36:22,698
I hate to eat and run, but...
571
00:36:25,284 --> 00:36:27,787
Bob, am I ever
gonna see you again?
572
00:36:28,537 --> 00:36:30,581
We are going to
see each other again.
573
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,625
You wouldn't lie to me?
574
00:36:33,420 --> 00:36:35,440
Of course I'd lie to you,
I'm a guy.
575
00:36:35,127 --> 00:36:37,400
But I'm not lying now.
576
00:36:38,339 --> 00:36:39,507
You mean it?
577
00:36:39,590 --> 00:36:40,674
Honest.
578
00:36:45,179 --> 00:36:46,972
Hey, GUYS,
579
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,141
it's a little early for the Easter parade,
don't you think?
580
00:36:49,225 --> 00:36:51,180
Look! It's Hailey's comet!
581
00:36:52,478 --> 00:36:54,730
Bright, real bright. Bye!
582
00:37:15,376 --> 00:37:16,836
Hello, asshole.
583
00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:18,712
Oops.
584
00:37:18,796 --> 00:37:21,549
Things looked bad for McGraw.
He had to think fast.
585
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:27,179
Get him!
586
00:37:27,513 --> 00:37:29,980
Oh, shit! Hold it!
587
00:37:29,181 --> 00:37:30,683
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
Guys, guys...
588
00:37:30,766 --> 00:37:33,310
Now, I know you're wondering
why I called you all here tonight,
589
00:37:33,394 --> 00:37:35,938
because I want to talk
to you about herpes.
590
00:37:46,782 --> 00:37:48,909
That's the end of that chapter.
591
00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:53,330
I don't wanna die tomorrow!
592
00:37:53,414 --> 00:37:56,166
You know I hate water.
It ruins a good drink.
593
00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:58,460
Oh, I'm gonna
projectile vomit on everyone!
594
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:00,462
Excuse me.
595
00:38:01,422 --> 00:38:03,700
What am I, a turnstile?
596
00:38:04,592 --> 00:38:06,930
Bay mist.
597
00:38:06,176 --> 00:38:10,306
No, it's either
Misty Crevice or Savage Truth.
598
00:38:10,389 --> 00:38:12,933
No, no, Bay Mist,
I'm telling you.
599
00:38:15,936 --> 00:38:17,313
Bob!
600
00:38:18,981 --> 00:38:21,250
What happened?
Are you okay?
601
00:38:21,734 --> 00:38:23,193
Bob, it's us!
602
00:38:24,361 --> 00:38:27,656
Oh, boy!
Am I glad to see you guys.
603
00:38:27,740 --> 00:38:30,409
This is a terrible place
to spend the night alone.
604
00:38:30,492 --> 00:38:31,952
Who did it?
605
00:38:32,703 --> 00:38:34,496
They got you, too?
606
00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:36,400
Bob, how many were there?
607
00:38:36,123 --> 00:38:38,420
I didn't get all their names,
608
00:38:39,293 --> 00:38:42,546
but they all wore
the same cologne.
609
00:38:46,717 --> 00:38:50,540
You know, this is gonna be
a piece of fucking cake.
610
00:38:51,764 --> 00:38:55,392
Good afternoon and welcome
to this year's annual collegiate
611
00:38:55,476 --> 00:38:57,311
White Water Rafting Race.
612
00:38:57,394 --> 00:39:00,940
It's a perfect day
for rapid competition.
613
00:39:01,230 --> 00:39:03,817
The temperature is
a comfortable 86 degrees,
614
00:39:03,901 --> 00:39:06,987
the water at
a refreshing 53 degrees.
615
00:39:08,739 --> 00:39:11,408
With the disqualification
of last year's winner,
616
00:39:11,492 --> 00:39:13,661
Washington Military Institute,
617
00:39:13,744 --> 00:39:15,871
we have 13 entries this year.
618
00:39:15,955 --> 00:39:19,541
Good luck to all
of our participants!
619
00:39:22,544 --> 00:39:25,589
It's either lose or win
620
00:39:25,673 --> 00:39:28,676
You'll either break or bend
621
00:39:28,759 --> 00:39:31,428
Pushing it one more inch
622
00:39:31,512 --> 00:39:34,848
You better be steady, boy
623
00:39:34,932 --> 00:39:37,977
It's waiting all for you
624
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,105
Need to give all you've got
625
00:39:41,188 --> 00:39:43,649
It's time to take your shot
626
00:39:43,732 --> 00:39:46,986
You got nothing to lose
627
00:39:59,581 --> 00:40:01,500
I thought we got rid of him.
628
00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:04,420
Well, he's obviously a slow learner.
629
00:40:17,558 --> 00:40:18,934
Bob, what happened?
630
00:40:20,811 --> 00:40:22,354
Does it hurt?
631
00:40:22,938 --> 00:40:25,240
Not so much anymore,
now that you're here.
632
00:40:25,274 --> 00:40:26,400
Was it that creep?
633
00:40:26,483 --> 00:40:29,153
Let's just say I slipped
on a bar of soap in the shower
634
00:40:29,236 --> 00:40:30,612
as a bus ran out of control
635
00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:32,322
and crashed into
the medicine cabinet.
636
00:40:32,781 --> 00:40:35,909
I'm really sorry.
ls there anything I can do?
637
00:40:35,993 --> 00:40:38,203
Actually,
I made a list, but, uh...
638
00:40:38,871 --> 00:40:41,457
This will have to suffice
until the race is over.
639
00:40:48,964 --> 00:40:51,759
Ten minutes!
Ten minutes to starting time!
640
00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:54,344
Okay, come on, guys!
Where's your spirit?
641
00:40:54,595 --> 00:40:57,639
We oughta give these teams
some support!
642
00:40:59,475 --> 00:41:02,102
Come on, we can't send
'em down the river with nothing.
643
00:41:02,186 --> 00:41:03,520
What do you say?
644
00:41:06,565 --> 00:41:08,233
Yeah! What do you say?
645
00:41:24,249 --> 00:41:26,335
There they are.
646
00:41:27,586 --> 00:41:31,590
All getting ready for
the start of their little race.
647
00:41:32,508 --> 00:41:36,303
Does that civilian mashed potato
think he can disqualify us?
648
00:41:37,429 --> 00:41:39,181
They'll see.
649
00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:41,225
They'll see!
650
00:41:41,850 --> 00:41:44,353
The race will continue for two days.
651
00:41:44,895 --> 00:41:47,606
Today you will race
to this point, Beaver Flats,
652
00:41:47,689 --> 00:41:50,192
where the first five teams
will pick up flags.
653
00:41:50,275 --> 00:41:53,280
And only the first five teams
to pick up flags
654
00:41:53,112 --> 00:41:54,780
will be in the second day.
655
00:41:54,863 --> 00:41:56,949
And those of you who pick up flags
656
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:58,992
will then portage to Chicken Falls
657
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,203
where you will spend the night
and turn in your flags.
658
00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:03,872
Then tomorrow morning at 10:00,
659
00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:06,291
you will continue the race downriver.
660
00:42:06,583 --> 00:42:10,379
Now, you all come here to represent
your colleges and your universities.
661
00:42:10,462 --> 00:42:13,257
You have come here
to participate in an annual event
662
00:42:13,340 --> 00:42:18,530
that shows good, healthy
American competition is still alive.
663
00:42:20,597 --> 00:42:21,890
Before we start the race,
664
00:42:21,974 --> 00:42:24,170
I'd like to thank you for participating,
665
00:42:24,101 --> 00:42:26,937
wish you good luck, godspeed,
666
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:28,647
and may the best team win.
667
00:42:33,819 --> 00:42:35,320
There he is.
668
00:42:35,779 --> 00:42:38,310
There he is.
669
00:42:38,532 --> 00:42:42,369
I'm gonna get that son of a bitch
if it's the last thing I ever do!
670
00:42:45,956 --> 00:42:49,420
All right.
Rafters, man your paddles!
671
00:42:52,379 --> 00:42:53,672
Ready.
672
00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:58,260
Set.
673
00:43:08,729 --> 00:43:11,640
There's the gun, and they're off!
674
00:43:11,148 --> 00:43:14,359
We've got 13 rafts
racing for their school's honor.
675
00:43:14,526 --> 00:43:17,279
The rivalry between
Arkansas Christian State
676
00:43:17,362 --> 00:43:21,491
and St. Martings Bible College
heats up once again!
677
00:43:27,414 --> 00:43:29,958
And they're hitting the water, folks!
678
00:43:30,959 --> 00:43:33,879
Oh, my, folks, this is bedlam!
679
00:43:36,506 --> 00:43:38,634
The ladies of Iowa A&M...
680
00:43:40,636 --> 00:43:42,804
Uh-oh, what's this?
Oh, that's too bad,
681
00:43:42,888 --> 00:43:45,682
looks like one more
faulty equipment.
682
00:43:46,183 --> 00:43:49,895
We are now down
to nine rafts, just nine!
683
00:43:49,978 --> 00:43:51,521
No, Bob!
684
00:43:53,732 --> 00:43:55,400
Look, guys, please!
I don't wanna die!
685
00:43:55,484 --> 00:43:58,737
I'm so young,
I've got my looks, I've got my health.
686
00:43:58,820 --> 00:44:01,730
- I've got my whole life ahead of me!
- To the water!
687
00:44:01,156 --> 00:44:02,950
I've got too much to live for!
688
00:44:04,201 --> 00:44:05,577
Like what?
689
00:44:05,661 --> 00:44:07,496
Like what? Like what?
690
00:44:07,579 --> 00:44:08,872
Women.
691
00:44:08,956 --> 00:44:11,833
There might be a woman out there
who might want to have sex with me.
692
00:44:17,339 --> 00:44:21,134
And that's Ivy U!
Yes, Ivy U, this year's favorite.
693
00:44:21,885 --> 00:44:24,221
Three, two, one!
694
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,200
Please don't make me do this.
695
00:44:32,104 --> 00:44:35,650
Don't make me go, all right?
I'm gonna die!
696
00:44:35,148 --> 00:44:38,235
I don't wanna die!
I wanna live!
697
00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:45,409
Thanks. I needed that.
698
00:44:46,493 --> 00:44:47,619
Shall we go?
699
00:44:54,918 --> 00:44:55,961
Get him out of there!
700
00:44:57,379 --> 00:44:58,672
Get in here, Shamu!
701
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,427
Hey, that's good.
702
00:45:46,386 --> 00:45:47,721
All right.
703
00:45:48,597 --> 00:45:50,265
Give me a hard left.
704
00:45:55,812 --> 00:45:58,440
Their situation seemed utterly hopeless.
705
00:45:58,523 --> 00:46:00,359
And with damn good reason.
706
00:46:14,915 --> 00:46:16,416
Yeah! All right!
707
00:46:24,591 --> 00:46:26,385
Pull! Pull!
708
00:46:29,304 --> 00:46:30,555
Come on!
709
00:47:06,508 --> 00:47:07,968
This is it, guys.
710
00:47:08,969 --> 00:47:11,638
We can do it, guys,
I know we can. I can feel it.
711
00:47:11,721 --> 00:47:13,807
It's just water and rock, that's all!
712
00:47:14,474 --> 00:47:16,351
We'll show this river who's boss!
713
00:47:16,435 --> 00:47:18,610
This river will be ours!
714
00:47:23,150 --> 00:47:24,734
This is not a good sign.
715
00:47:24,818 --> 00:47:26,278
No.
716
00:47:28,530 --> 00:47:31,283
Sorry, guys,
I guess I got a little carried away.
717
00:47:41,168 --> 00:47:42,669
Stop! Stop!
718
00:47:44,212 --> 00:47:46,506
Oh, my God!
719
00:48:19,998 --> 00:48:22,501
- That was great!
- We did it!
720
00:48:25,300 --> 00:48:26,880
I don't believe it!
721
00:48:27,464 --> 00:48:30,509
Son of a bitch, we did it.
And we're still alive!
722
00:48:30,884 --> 00:48:33,940
Un-fucking-believable!
723
00:48:33,178 --> 00:48:35,805
Wasn't bad for
a bunch of losers!
724
00:48:36,181 --> 00:48:40,180
Well, you have just made it through
the world's most dangerous rapid!
725
00:48:40,268 --> 00:48:42,646
And now, it's beer time!
726
00:48:44,397 --> 00:48:47,108
I risked my life,
and you give me light beer?
727
00:48:47,943 --> 00:48:50,779
Lepetomane!
Lepetomane!
728
00:48:50,862 --> 00:48:52,280
Lepetomane!
729
00:48:56,993 --> 00:48:58,453
Das raft!
730
00:48:58,787 --> 00:49:00,872
We toast you!
731
00:49:02,374 --> 00:49:04,584
Hey, where've you
Nazis been, huh?
732
00:49:04,668 --> 00:49:06,440
Didn't you see us
go through those rapids?
733
00:49:06,127 --> 00:49:07,879
You think we're
kidding around here?
734
00:49:11,550 --> 00:49:12,676
Hi, boys!
735
00:49:12,759 --> 00:49:15,110
Shoot him, Rex.
736
00:49:15,637 --> 00:49:17,889
I don't like those guys.
737
00:49:19,432 --> 00:49:21,518
I warned you, you bozo!
738
00:49:27,899 --> 00:49:29,250
What the hell is that?
739
00:49:29,109 --> 00:49:31,361
Oh, they hit us with a little dart.
740
00:49:32,571 --> 00:49:34,364
Good shot, Rex, good shot.
741
00:49:34,864 --> 00:49:37,450
Bob, it's ticking.
742
00:49:46,334 --> 00:49:50,380
Five, four, three, two, one!
743
00:49:55,677 --> 00:49:57,178
Take that, suckers!
744
00:49:59,514 --> 00:50:01,725
Were those the guys
that got you last night?
745
00:50:01,808 --> 00:50:03,180
How could ya tell?
746
00:50:03,101 --> 00:50:04,978
They're all wearing
the same cologne.
747
00:50:06,896 --> 00:50:08,230
Come on, guys,
748
00:50:08,106 --> 00:50:09,858
let's get the hell
out of Dodge!
749
00:50:16,281 --> 00:50:19,750
All right, now get that rock
in the sling...
750
00:50:19,159 --> 00:50:20,660
I'm going up!
751
00:50:27,584 --> 00:50:29,850
- Push, man!
- I'm pushing!
752
00:50:43,391 --> 00:50:44,476
How we doing, guys?
753
00:50:44,559 --> 00:50:45,602
Ready, Bob.
754
00:50:45,727 --> 00:50:47,312
- Okay, let's go.
- Darn, it's empty.
755
00:50:48,355 --> 00:50:50,774
Bob, it's empty.
756
00:50:50,857 --> 00:50:53,193
I gotta have a drink.
I don't think I can make it.
757
00:50:53,276 --> 00:50:54,402
You can do it, kid,
I know you can.
758
00:50:54,486 --> 00:50:55,987
No,no,no.
I don't think I can.
759
00:50:57,720 --> 00:50:58,823
You're not trying.
760
00:50:59,908 --> 00:51:01,409
Lemme give it another shot.
761
00:51:02,327 --> 00:51:03,536
I knew you could do it.
762
00:51:05,413 --> 00:51:06,623
Irwin.
763
00:51:18,885 --> 00:51:20,970
All right. Left turn!
764
00:51:22,222 --> 00:51:23,306
Forward easy!
765
00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:36,736
- Push, man!
- I'm pushing!
766
00:51:38,530 --> 00:51:39,656
Now!
767
00:51:40,782 --> 00:51:41,908
- Now?
- Now?
768
00:51:50,583 --> 00:51:52,877
Unidentified flying asshole.
769
00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:58,967
- Party time!
- Two! Two!
770
00:52:39,591 --> 00:52:41,634
Let's move!
771
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:47,474
BEAVER FLATS
PORTAGE
772
00:52:52,187 --> 00:52:53,396
Where's Ivy U?
773
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,231
Who cares, as long as
they're not ahead of us!
774
00:52:55,315 --> 00:52:56,733
Let's go)!
775
00:52:59,569 --> 00:53:00,862
Grab a flag!
776
00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:04,240
Got a flag!
777
00:53:06,910 --> 00:53:08,119
- Brown.
- Sir!
778
00:53:08,244 --> 00:53:09,579
- Johnson.
- Sir!
779
00:53:09,662 --> 00:53:11,414
Good job, men, good job!
780
00:53:14,959 --> 00:53:16,252
Whitney.
781
00:53:17,170 --> 00:53:18,421
Soon...
782
00:53:21,883 --> 00:53:23,176
Soon.
783
00:53:41,694 --> 00:53:42,987
Look at that!
784
00:53:43,710 --> 00:53:45,198
Now, that can stop us.
785
00:53:45,573 --> 00:53:47,158
Duck! Duck!
786
00:54:01,673 --> 00:54:04,500
Say your prayers, gentlemen.
787
00:54:08,429 --> 00:54:10,557
Come on, come on!
They're gonna get past!
788
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:11,933
Now!
789
00:54:15,270 --> 00:54:16,729
It's going the wrong way!
790
00:54:22,610 --> 00:54:24,654
- Go! Go!
- Move it! Move it!
791
00:54:45,675 --> 00:54:48,887
Tonight, we are gonna be
in bimbette's heaven!
792
00:54:50,471 --> 00:54:52,560
Good work!
793
00:54:52,765 --> 00:54:54,309
All right, now, Rocky,
794
00:54:54,392 --> 00:54:56,352
get one flag
and lose the other!
795
00:54:56,436 --> 00:54:57,770
Gotcha.
796
00:54:58,646 --> 00:55:00,189
Let's go, man.
797
00:55:00,398 --> 00:55:03,260
- One, two...
- Yeah!
798
00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:07,405
Keep it up, guys-
799
00:55:07,488 --> 00:55:09,320
Keep it going.
800
00:55:09,407 --> 00:55:11,159
I know it's tough.
801
00:55:11,242 --> 00:55:12,827
And I know that
you know it's tough.
802
00:55:13,453 --> 00:55:15,790
But try not to think about it.
803
00:55:15,538 --> 00:55:17,415
Think about those degrees
we're gonna get
804
00:55:17,498 --> 00:55:19,417
when we win this race!
805
00:55:19,584 --> 00:55:21,461
Maybe that'll help you
forget the pain.
806
00:55:25,381 --> 00:55:27,800
More likely it won't,
but give it a shot.
807
00:55:30,940 --> 00:55:32,388
Your bag of goodies
was a real bargain, Doctor.
808
00:55:32,472 --> 00:55:33,556
You bet your bottom dollar.
809
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:34,766
There's only four boats left.
810
00:55:34,849 --> 00:55:37,852
I think we earned
that little soiree of yours tonight.
811
00:55:38,190 --> 00:55:39,771
St. Martings, Sara Teasdale,
Texas State, and us.
812
00:55:40,146 --> 00:55:41,439
And Lepetomane.
813
00:55:41,522 --> 00:55:42,982
- Lepetomane?
- What?
814
00:55:43,660 --> 00:55:45,443
We took care of those remedials
after the first rapids!
815
00:55:45,526 --> 00:55:47,654
Well, whoever "we" is
didn't do a very thorough job,
816
00:55:47,737 --> 00:55:48,947
'cause they're still on the river.
817
00:55:49,300 --> 00:55:50,156
- What?
- I don't believe it.
818
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:52,750
I thought we nailed those Twinkies!
819
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:03,252
Control tower to Ivy,
you're cleared for takeoff.
820
00:56:05,713 --> 00:56:07,173
I love it.
821
00:56:12,387 --> 00:56:14,130
I don't like the sound of this.
822
00:56:15,264 --> 00:56:18,142
It's too quiet.
823
00:56:19,978 --> 00:56:21,813
What could it be?
824
00:56:23,231 --> 00:56:24,357
Indians!
825
00:56:28,861 --> 00:56:30,405
What the hell is that?
826
00:56:31,720 --> 00:56:32,490
Sounds like big mosquitoes.
827
00:56:41,916 --> 00:56:43,334
It's coming at us!
828
00:56:43,418 --> 00:56:44,961
Get down!
829
00:56:49,382 --> 00:56:51,920
It's coming back!
830
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:54,303
Bob, get down!
831
00:56:55,763 --> 00:56:56,973
This is dangerous!
832
00:56:59,350 --> 00:57:01,600
How'd you like that, guys?
833
00:57:08,985 --> 00:57:11,700
This has gone far enough!
834
00:57:11,487 --> 00:57:14,907
He's right!
It's gone far enough!
835
00:57:22,123 --> 00:57:24,250
Gonz! Get down!
836
00:57:31,674 --> 00:57:33,468
Abandon ship!
837
00:57:34,930 --> 00:57:35,928
- Get out! Get out!
- Not again!
838
00:57:36,804 --> 00:57:38,306
Kamikaze!
839
00:57:45,855 --> 00:57:48,274
Let's see you get out of that one,
you dipshit!
840
00:57:48,357 --> 00:57:49,442
Let's get out of here.
841
00:57:49,525 --> 00:57:50,777
Max!
842
00:57:52,361 --> 00:57:53,696
Hey, Max!
843
00:58:00,369 --> 00:58:02,380
I want the blond!
844
00:58:02,121 --> 00:58:03,748
- You putz!
- Are those real breasts?
845
00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:09,754
I want leverage!
846
00:58:09,879 --> 00:58:14,342
Him, his doggie,
one of his men, anyone!
847
00:58:14,926 --> 00:58:16,928
Reconnoiter 0600 sharp!
848
00:58:19,430 --> 00:58:21,682
Come back with a prisoner,
849
00:58:22,892 --> 00:58:24,685
or don't come back!
850
00:58:24,894 --> 00:58:26,620
Yes, sir!
851
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:28,940
Hey, it's Chuck!
852
00:58:29,230 --> 00:58:31,317
Wow, he's got the last flag!
853
00:58:35,863 --> 00:58:37,490
What is this?
An attitude?
854
00:58:39,117 --> 00:58:40,618
I'm sorry if we were a little bit late,
855
00:58:40,701 --> 00:58:42,620
we had a few problems.
856
00:58:42,829 --> 00:58:45,248
We weren't out on the town
like someone I could mention.
857
00:58:45,331 --> 00:58:47,959
- Chuck, he was mugged last night!
- Let him be!
858
00:58:48,420 --> 00:58:49,752
If he wants to be
a complete jerk, let him.
859
00:58:49,919 --> 00:58:51,712
I don't think we need to
explain to him that somebody
860
00:58:51,796 --> 00:58:55,258
tried to destroy our raft,
knock us out of the race.
861
00:58:55,341 --> 00:58:57,260
No, if he's gonna get
his nose bent out of shape
862
00:58:57,343 --> 00:58:59,950
over a little lost time,
863
00:58:59,178 --> 00:59:01,597
I'd rather not talk to him, either.
You're a dog.
864
00:59:02,598 --> 00:59:03,683
Grab the raft.
865
00:59:08,271 --> 00:59:10,481
I suppose it doesn't make any difference
that they beat up Bob?
866
00:59:11,774 --> 00:59:15,690
That's right. Pipes, bottles,
chains, hitting, pain...
867
00:59:15,153 --> 00:59:17,280
There were 10 of 'em.
Ten big ones.
868
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:19,310
Maybe eleven.
869
00:59:19,115 --> 00:59:21,909
Oh, and you should've heard
the names they called him.
870
00:59:24,745 --> 00:59:26,372
Sensitive dog.
871
00:59:27,874 --> 00:59:32,170
Yes, okay, okay, I forgive you.
872
00:59:32,253 --> 00:59:34,422
I know you were playing hard to get.
873
00:59:35,339 --> 00:59:37,258
Chuck, what is it?
874
00:59:37,341 --> 00:59:38,467
I smell it, too.
875
00:59:38,551 --> 00:59:40,219
It smells like...
876
00:59:40,344 --> 00:59:41,637
Cologne.
877
00:59:45,266 --> 00:59:48,978
Suddenly he knew what
the night held in store for them.
878
00:59:50,620 --> 00:59:52,190
And he liked the smell of it.
879
00:59:56,444 --> 00:59:57,945
Are you okay?
880
00:59:59,530 --> 01:00:01,324
You know something?
881
01:00:01,699 --> 01:00:05,119
I really thought that McGraw
had a chance.
882
01:00:05,828 --> 01:00:06,913
I mean, however slim,
883
01:00:06,996 --> 01:00:08,915
I really thought
that he might make it.
884
01:00:09,749 --> 01:00:11,459
I would have liked
to have seen him again.
885
01:00:11,542 --> 01:00:13,252
"Seen," young lady?
886
01:00:13,336 --> 01:00:14,670
For starters.
887
01:00:14,754 --> 01:00:16,881
You mean to tell me
you're not coming?
888
01:00:17,632 --> 01:00:18,674
No.
889
01:00:18,758 --> 01:00:20,509
Okey-dokey, honey.
See ya later.
890
01:00:21,260 --> 01:00:23,221
- Happy trails.
- Bye-bye, hon.
891
01:00:38,694 --> 01:00:40,529
Revenge is a dish
best eaten cold
892
01:00:40,613 --> 01:00:42,448
and with your hands.
893
01:00:51,499 --> 01:00:53,960
It's a little early
for Christmas, isn't it?
894
01:01:23,114 --> 01:01:24,407
Tomorrow should be a breeze.
895
01:01:24,490 --> 01:01:26,409
By the time you cross that finish line,
896
01:01:26,492 --> 01:01:29,745
I'm betting that yours
is the only raft on the river.
897
01:01:52,143 --> 01:01:54,103
Let's have some more champagne!
898
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:07,533
Waiter!
899
01:02:23,758 --> 01:02:25,468
Wait a minute, I know that dog!
900
01:02:26,969 --> 01:02:28,637
I know that dog!
901
01:02:29,263 --> 01:02:30,973
Hey, what's going on?
902
01:02:31,724 --> 01:02:32,767
Wait a minute!
903
01:02:47,406 --> 01:02:48,783
Well, well, what is this?
904
01:02:48,866 --> 01:02:50,785
A meeting of the assholes of America?
905
01:02:50,951 --> 01:02:52,244
Look who's here.
906
01:02:52,328 --> 01:02:53,579
We missed you guys!
907
01:02:53,662 --> 01:02:55,247
We didn't miss you, you jerk.
908
01:02:55,331 --> 01:02:57,458
Hurry up, put that on!
I haven't got all night!
909
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:58,793
You asshole!
910
01:02:58,876 --> 01:03:00,503
Oh, excuse me.
911
01:03:19,188 --> 01:03:21,315
You wouldn't hit a lady,
would you?
912
01:03:29,281 --> 01:03:30,324
Mocha.
913
01:03:37,623 --> 01:03:40,167
No,no,no,no!
No. No.
914
01:03:42,211 --> 01:03:43,504
Get out, come on.
915
01:03:45,589 --> 01:03:47,299
Now I got you, you bastard.
916
01:03:49,343 --> 01:03:51,720
It's so much better this way.
917
01:03:54,723 --> 01:03:56,100
So much for the piano.
918
01:03:59,478 --> 01:04:01,147
Bob. The tub.
919
01:04:03,566 --> 01:04:04,692
Bye.
920
01:04:05,151 --> 01:04:06,694
Table for one.
921
01:04:21,417 --> 01:04:22,960
You incompetent twits!
922
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,839
Let's get outta here!
923
01:04:44,899 --> 01:04:46,775
There you are.
924
01:04:47,151 --> 01:04:50,821
Bob! Where have you been?
What's going on around here?
925
01:04:50,905 --> 01:04:53,115
It's such a long story.
926
01:04:54,283 --> 01:04:56,994
Gosh, is there someplace
that we can talk?
927
01:05:00,122 --> 01:05:04,100
Well, is there someplace
that we can pet heavily?
928
01:05:14,595 --> 01:05:15,930
Terrific!
929
01:05:16,388 --> 01:05:17,473
Look at that!
930
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:21,685
Wait! What...
931
01:05:31,654 --> 01:05:33,239
Now, tell me,
932
01:05:34,406 --> 01:05:38,327
was it as good for you
as it was for me that time?
933
01:05:40,790 --> 01:05:41,539
Not exactly.
934
01:05:42,248 --> 01:05:44,667
Bob! Irwings gone,
we can't find him anywhere.
935
01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:46,627
I think something happened to him.
936
01:05:47,127 --> 01:05:48,712
Did I interrupt anything?
937
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:52,341
Not exactly.
938
01:05:52,424 --> 01:05:54,218
Look, I'll meet you at the raft.
939
01:05:54,301 --> 01:05:55,803
Oh, Max, this is Heather.
Heather, this Max.
940
01:05:55,886 --> 01:05:56,971
- Hi.
- Hi.
941
01:05:58,389 --> 01:05:59,682
Pleasure to meet you.
942
01:06:00,558 --> 01:06:01,600
Do you need any help?
943
01:06:02,184 --> 01:06:04,770
No, thanks. I've been
dressing myself for years.
944
01:06:04,853 --> 01:06:07,220
But I appreciate the offer.
945
01:06:11,235 --> 01:06:12,570
When this is over
946
01:06:12,653 --> 01:06:14,822
and somebody's won this damn thing,
947
01:06:14,905 --> 01:06:16,991
I'd like to think I could
jump on you again sometime.
948
01:06:28,419 --> 01:06:30,713
Disqualify me, will they?
949
01:06:31,460 --> 01:06:35,920
Well, now I've got them
right where I want them!
950
01:06:35,843 --> 01:06:38,762
You thought the disguise would fool me?
951
01:06:40,598 --> 01:06:43,580
They can't beat me. No!
952
01:06:43,642 --> 01:06:46,353
Because I'm the cream
of the military crop,
953
01:06:46,437 --> 01:06:48,814
and I have a hostage.
954
01:06:49,607 --> 01:06:52,943
A living, human hostage!
955
01:06:53,819 --> 01:06:55,571
I can't find Irwin anywhere.
956
01:06:55,821 --> 01:06:57,720
Poor little guy.
957
01:06:57,156 --> 01:06:58,907
Hey, Gonz, don't you worry.
958
01:06:58,991 --> 01:07:01,285
We're gonna find lrwin
if it takes a hundred years.
959
01:07:01,368 --> 01:07:03,454
Hey, Bob.
He'll be dead by then.
960
01:07:04,288 --> 01:07:05,706
Good point.
961
01:07:06,749 --> 01:07:07,875
Wait a minute.
962
01:07:07,958 --> 01:07:10,127
Wait a minute!
What about Chuck?
963
01:07:13,464 --> 01:07:14,506
Come on, Chuck.
964
01:07:14,590 --> 01:07:17,900
I know you're tired,
but we need your help.
965
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:19,762
We've got to find Irwin
before it's too late!
966
01:07:19,845 --> 01:07:21,764
We'll take the water,
you take the land. Whaddya say?
967
01:07:21,847 --> 01:07:22,931
Come on, Chuck,
you remember Irwin.
968
01:07:23,150 --> 01:07:25,142
He's got glasses,
he's skinny, he drinks a lot.
969
01:07:27,519 --> 01:07:29,855
Here, Chuck, here. Try this.
970
01:07:30,814 --> 01:07:32,691
You remember him now,
don't you, Chuck?
971
01:07:34,652 --> 01:07:36,695
All right. All right, Chuck,
972
01:07:36,779 --> 01:07:39,310
there's a new collar
in it for you, huh?
973
01:07:39,114 --> 01:07:41,241
Does that jar your memory?
974
01:07:42,242 --> 01:07:43,661
Okey, Okey.
975
01:07:44,203 --> 01:07:46,997
No more plain-wrap dog food.
Does that ring any bells for you?
976
01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:52,336
I'll put you up for stud.
But that's it, take it or leave it.
977
01:07:59,927 --> 01:08:01,950
Boy, what's the world coming to
978
01:08:01,178 --> 01:08:03,305
when you have to
bribe your own dog?
979
01:08:03,389 --> 01:08:04,723
The dog's a whore, Bob.
980
01:08:04,807 --> 01:08:06,225
I trained him well.
981
01:08:08,894 --> 01:08:11,522
Nobody does that to Ivy!
982
01:08:11,605 --> 01:08:15,234
Guys, we got a race to win here,
act like adults.
983
01:08:15,484 --> 01:08:17,611
I'm gonna get that weenie!
984
01:08:17,736 --> 01:08:19,613
We're gonna get that weenie!
985
01:08:19,697 --> 01:08:21,323
We're gonna win this race!
986
01:08:21,448 --> 01:08:24,118
Geez, Rex, too much caffeine
making you tense?
987
01:08:24,952 --> 01:08:27,705
After last night,
you wanna go again, huh?
988
01:08:27,788 --> 01:08:29,748
- That's right.
- You must've liked it, huh?
989
01:08:29,832 --> 01:08:30,958
I'm ready and willing.
990
01:08:31,410 --> 01:08:33,419
- I'm always able.
- All right! Nice!
991
01:08:33,502 --> 01:08:35,421
Left turn, men,
we've got company!
992
01:08:35,504 --> 01:08:36,630
What?
993
01:08:40,676 --> 01:08:42,136
Check it out.
994
01:08:42,845 --> 01:08:44,596
- Hey.
- The bleach boys.
995
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:46,932
Good afternoon, ladies!
996
01:08:47,224 --> 01:08:49,268
All right, guys, listen.
997
01:08:49,393 --> 01:08:50,853
We're gonna beat 'em,
and we're gonna win,
998
01:08:50,936 --> 01:08:52,896
and let's go into a hard forward.
999
01:08:54,314 --> 01:08:56,525
The instrument, maestro,
if you will.
1000
01:08:56,734 --> 01:08:58,694
See ya, ladies!
1001
01:08:59,945 --> 01:09:01,697
They'll like this, won't they?
1002
01:09:01,780 --> 01:09:03,866
- What's that?
- What the hell is that?
1003
01:09:03,949 --> 01:09:05,367
All right,
sweetheart.
1004
01:09:08,912 --> 01:09:10,581
- It's a torpedo.
- Oh, shit!
1005
01:09:18,297 --> 01:09:19,965
Good shot, Rex, good shot!
1006
01:09:20,716 --> 01:09:22,301
You jerks!
1007
01:09:27,347 --> 01:09:28,390
Adios, ladies!
1008
01:09:31,590 --> 01:09:34,313
We got those morons.
So let's go get Lepetomane!
1009
01:09:35,564 --> 01:09:37,483
Well done, soldiers, well done!
1010
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,280
From here, we take the island.
1011
01:09:43,363 --> 01:09:45,115
We beach the craft in the south,
1012
01:09:45,199 --> 01:09:47,242
then move to a high point above.
1013
01:09:47,326 --> 01:09:51,622
Then, we hang the bait, and wait!
1014
01:09:52,331 --> 01:09:53,957
Now move out!
1015
01:09:56,710 --> 01:09:59,129
Stroke! Stroke!
1016
01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:01,256
Stroke!
1017
01:10:01,673 --> 01:10:03,910
Stroke!
1018
01:10:06,470 --> 01:10:07,846
Johnson,
1019
01:10:08,180 --> 01:10:09,807
ready the jet.
1020
01:10:10,390 --> 01:10:11,809
Yes, sir.
1021
01:10:13,180 --> 01:10:16,563
Brown, ready the wireless control system.
1022
01:10:16,855 --> 01:10:17,898
Yes, sir.
1023
01:10:21,902 --> 01:10:23,987
It's those G.l. Joe guys!
1024
01:10:25,739 --> 01:10:26,949
- Where?
- There.
1025
01:10:31,954 --> 01:10:33,497
Get back in your pouch!
1026
01:10:34,390 --> 01:10:36,708
They got lrwin!
In a wet bag!
1027
01:10:38,627 --> 01:10:39,962
Come on!
1028
01:10:41,460 --> 01:10:42,840
It's toboggan time!
1029
01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:46,930
Wait a minute, Bob!
Are you sure that's a good idea?
1030
01:10:46,176 --> 01:10:48,136
Nah, but at this point
it's beside the point.
1031
01:10:48,220 --> 01:10:49,805
Oh, boy.
1032
01:10:50,222 --> 01:10:52,516
Forward easy.
1033
01:10:55,727 --> 01:10:57,620
Bob!No!
1034
01:10:59,523 --> 01:11:00,816
- Too fast! Too fast!
- Shit!
1035
01:11:00,899 --> 01:11:05,700
No!
1036
01:11:08,615 --> 01:11:10,909
We're gonna get wet again!
1037
01:11:18,292 --> 01:11:19,877
Nice shot, Bob.
1038
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,587
Come on!
Irwings getting away!
1039
01:11:24,339 --> 01:11:26,884
All right, so I miscalculated.
What are you gonna do, fire me?
1040
01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:28,844
I'll think about it.
1041
01:11:29,970 --> 01:11:31,430
Stroke!
1042
01:11:31,555 --> 01:11:32,806
Stroke!
1043
01:11:33,140 --> 01:11:34,182
Stroke!
1044
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,767
- Stroke!
- Sir!
1045
01:11:37,185 --> 01:11:38,979
The island's just up ahead, sir!
1046
01:11:39,563 --> 01:11:41,565
Good. Good.
1047
01:11:41,648 --> 01:11:43,901
I'm ready with the jet, sir.
1048
01:11:43,984 --> 01:11:47,700
Ready with the wireless
control system, sir.
1049
01:11:49,907 --> 01:11:51,740
Now!
1050
01:12:05,339 --> 01:12:08,300
Victory! We are men!
1051
01:12:44,962 --> 01:12:46,630
All right, meatheads!
1052
01:12:46,713 --> 01:12:49,490
What are you sitting around for?
This is no picnic!
1053
01:12:49,132 --> 01:12:50,676
Captain, we can't win.
1054
01:12:50,759 --> 01:12:52,594
We were disqualified yesterday.
1055
01:12:52,886 --> 01:12:55,389
Disqualified?
We're not disqualified!
1056
01:12:55,472 --> 01:12:58,392
Not till I say we're disqualified!
1057
01:12:58,684 --> 01:13:01,603
It takes a river to win this war.
1058
01:13:03,210 --> 01:13:05,440
And there can't be a winner,
1059
01:13:05,524 --> 01:13:07,776
if there isn't a river!
1060
01:13:08,193 --> 01:13:09,319
Sir?
1061
01:13:10,278 --> 01:13:13,949
We're gonna blow the mother up!
1062
01:13:26,628 --> 01:13:28,255
All right!
1063
01:13:28,338 --> 01:13:29,631
Women!
1064
01:13:34,219 --> 01:13:35,637
What is she doing out there?
1065
01:13:36,179 --> 01:13:37,764
Getting tanned.
1066
01:13:38,473 --> 01:13:39,975
Forward easy.
1067
01:13:44,563 --> 01:13:46,314
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine.
1068
01:13:47,774 --> 01:13:49,526
Let me guess what happened.
1069
01:13:50,402 --> 01:13:51,695
That good old Ivy U.
1070
01:13:51,778 --> 01:13:54,948
You didn't have to tell me,
I woulda caught it.
1071
01:13:59,360 --> 01:14:01,246
Those guys almost killed us.
1072
01:14:01,580 --> 01:14:04,249
He's beginning to get a little nervy.
1073
01:14:04,332 --> 01:14:07,419
The thought of them winning this race
really makes me sick.
1074
01:14:08,670 --> 01:14:10,422
It isn't over yet.
1075
01:14:10,839 --> 01:14:12,132
Well, what are we waiting for?
1076
01:14:13,675 --> 01:14:15,844
Just a few indecent thoughts.
1077
01:14:19,806 --> 01:14:21,725
Okay, I'm ready now.
1078
01:14:21,808 --> 01:14:24,853
First, we get Irwin.
Then we get the trophy!
1079
01:14:24,936 --> 01:14:27,647
Hey, you guys!
I'll see you later, okay?
1080
01:14:27,731 --> 01:14:29,900
Revenge! Revenge!
Get 'em!
1081
01:14:32,270 --> 01:14:33,153
Forward easy!
1082
01:14:36,156 --> 01:14:39,659
Soon the river will go ka-boom!
1083
01:14:42,245 --> 01:14:45,248
A commander couldn't ask
for better soldiers.
1084
01:14:57,552 --> 01:14:58,804
Well,
1085
01:14:59,429 --> 01:15:01,140
while we're waiting for your captain
1086
01:15:01,980 --> 01:15:02,974
to come to your rescue,
1087
01:15:03,580 --> 01:15:05,143
maybe I should
warm up on you a little.
1088
01:15:05,227 --> 01:15:06,895
No? All right.
1089
01:15:08,647 --> 01:15:11,650
How about the old bamboo
under the fingernails?
1090
01:15:12,484 --> 01:15:15,153
It's a personal favorite of mine,
1091
01:15:15,237 --> 01:15:17,489
and a nice way to loosen up, too,
1092
01:15:17,572 --> 01:15:19,533
you little schmo!
1093
01:15:24,579 --> 01:15:25,664
No!
1094
01:15:44,850 --> 01:15:48,103
Chuck, puppy! Am I glad to see you!
Where the hell you been?
1095
01:15:48,270 --> 01:15:50,605
Chuck, we're in
some kind of trouble, okay?
1096
01:15:50,689 --> 01:15:52,274
The guys are heading
right in for a trap,
1097
01:15:52,357 --> 01:15:53,441
we gotta warn 'em, all right?
1098
01:15:53,525 --> 01:15:55,235
So get me outta here.
Come on. Get me out.
1099
01:15:55,861 --> 01:15:57,696
What are you doing?
No, Chuck!
1100
01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:01,366
No, don't do...
Where are you going with those?
1101
01:16:01,449 --> 01:16:03,340
Don't leave me!
1102
01:16:03,368 --> 01:16:05,203
Chuck... What's that?
1103
01:16:05,453 --> 01:16:07,622
What are you doing?
Don't put that on there!
1104
01:16:08,915 --> 01:16:10,458
Chuck! Where you going?
1105
01:16:11,251 --> 01:16:13,670
No! No, Chuck, no!
1106
01:16:14,450 --> 01:16:16,339
Chuck, no! Chuck...
I can't... Not like...
1107
01:16:16,423 --> 01:16:18,175
This is not good, Chuck!
1108
01:16:18,258 --> 01:16:20,385
Oh, God, I'm so depressed!
1109
01:16:39,487 --> 01:16:40,780
Irwin...
1110
01:16:42,282 --> 01:16:43,742
Irwin...
1111
01:16:45,452 --> 01:16:46,912
Irwin...
1112
01:16:47,829 --> 01:16:49,164
Irwin.
1113
01:16:49,497 --> 01:16:50,874
Irwin!
1114
01:16:51,499 --> 01:16:52,876
Irwin!
1115
01:16:53,210 --> 01:16:56,546
Irwin! Irwin!
1116
01:16:56,630 --> 01:16:57,839
Irwin!
1117
01:16:58,890 --> 01:17:01,343
Irwin! lrwin! lrwin!
1118
01:17:01,426 --> 01:17:03,110
What the hell?
1119
01:17:03,345 --> 01:17:05,130
Let's wait here.
1120
01:17:05,305 --> 01:17:07,570
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1121
01:17:07,140 --> 01:17:09,517
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1122
01:17:13,355 --> 01:17:15,230
Hey, it's Chuck!
1123
01:17:15,106 --> 01:17:16,608
Hey! Chucker!
1124
01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:23,990
Bob, it looks like
he's been drinking again.
1125
01:17:24,740 --> 01:17:25,492
No, not drinking.
1126
01:17:25,575 --> 01:17:28,119
Look! In his mouth!
It's Irwings underwear.
1127
01:17:28,203 --> 01:17:29,746
No wonder he's acting like that.
1128
01:17:32,457 --> 01:17:34,209
That can only mean one thing!
1129
01:17:35,100 --> 01:17:36,544
Irwings naked.
1130
01:17:37,462 --> 01:17:38,505
Right!
1131
01:17:38,588 --> 01:17:40,590
And Chuck knows where he is!
1132
01:17:40,674 --> 01:17:42,800
Let's go)!
1133
01:17:43,385 --> 01:17:45,804
Left turn!
Forward easy!
1134
01:17:46,137 --> 01:17:48,765
They're quitting!
They've given up!
1135
01:17:49,933 --> 01:17:51,851
I knew they didn't have what it takes!
1136
01:17:53,603 --> 01:17:56,731
Hey! That's Lepetomane U
for ya, you degenerates!
1137
01:17:56,856 --> 01:17:59,567
Good old Lobotomy U!
1138
01:18:00,193 --> 01:18:02,237
Let's move out of here.
1139
01:18:02,696 --> 01:18:05,949
Let's just kick back and coast,
because the trophy is ours!
1140
01:18:07,325 --> 01:18:08,368
Scumbags!
1141
01:18:09,786 --> 01:18:11,204
Hey, Chuck!
1142
01:18:12,289 --> 01:18:15,917
It's good to see you, too,
but first things first, huh?
1143
01:18:16,251 --> 01:18:18,837
Now, where is he?
Where's Irwin, Chuck?
1144
01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,966
Oh, my God!
They killed him!
1145
01:18:23,133 --> 01:18:26,177
No, they haven't killed him,
but he's... He's...
1146
01:18:27,950 --> 01:18:28,763
He's lying on the ground somewhere!
1147
01:18:28,847 --> 01:18:29,973
Right, Chuck?
1148
01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:32,642
No, on the nose!
1149
01:18:32,726 --> 01:18:35,228
But where is Irwin now, Chuck?
Where is he now?
1150
01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:44,362
He's trying to
get into the wet bag.
1151
01:18:44,529 --> 01:18:47,991
- Wet bag, dirtbag, douchebag...
- Bag lady?
1152
01:18:51,619 --> 01:18:53,371
He's got a bone...
1153
01:18:53,621 --> 01:18:55,400
Oh, my God!
1154
01:18:55,165 --> 01:18:56,791
They cut him into steaks!
1155
01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:02,547
They haven't cut him into steaks,
they've, uh, uh...
1156
01:19:02,630 --> 01:19:05,508
They staked him to the ground!
1157
01:19:05,592 --> 01:19:08,345
Where is he, Chuck?
Where is Irwin now?
1158
01:19:09,179 --> 01:19:10,680
Chuck, that's my jacket!
1159
01:19:10,764 --> 01:19:12,682
He's trying to tell us something!
1160
01:19:14,392 --> 01:19:16,311
They plucked him!
1161
01:19:21,149 --> 01:19:22,359
I'm trying.
1162
01:19:22,442 --> 01:19:25,403
They haven't plucked him,
it's something to do with...
1163
01:19:25,487 --> 01:19:26,696
Feathers! Feathers!
1164
01:19:26,780 --> 01:19:29,199
No, those aren't feathers!
That's down!
1165
01:19:29,699 --> 01:19:31,743
Down! Down! All right!
1166
01:19:31,951 --> 01:19:34,496
Down something.
They've got Irwin down something.
1167
01:19:34,579 --> 01:19:36,748
Come on, Chuck, where?
Give us another clue, quick!
1168
01:19:36,831 --> 01:19:37,874
Chuck, how many syllables?
1169
01:19:39,209 --> 01:19:41,252
- Two!
- Two syllables!
1170
01:19:44,547 --> 01:19:47,425
God! They cut out his liver!
1171
01:19:50,261 --> 01:19:53,560
Down... Down...
Down liver... Uh...
1172
01:19:53,807 --> 01:19:54,891
I've got it!
1173
01:19:54,974 --> 01:19:56,226
- What?
- What?
1174
01:19:56,309 --> 01:19:58,978
"Down liver," that's Japanese
for "downriver"!
1175
01:20:04,250 --> 01:20:05,276
All right, Chuck!
1176
01:20:07,278 --> 01:20:08,488
Those were great clues.
1177
01:20:08,571 --> 01:20:10,115
I thought they were kinda hard.
1178
01:20:17,380 --> 01:20:20,166
My sweet boom-boom maker.
1179
01:20:30,802 --> 01:20:32,554
Where's your doggie?
1180
01:20:32,637 --> 01:20:34,130
Look, I think there's been some mistake.
1181
01:20:34,970 --> 01:20:36,141
Where's your underwear?
1182
01:20:36,224 --> 01:20:38,184
I don't know.
The dog ran off...
1183
01:20:38,268 --> 01:20:39,811
Don't wanna cooperate, huh?
1184
01:20:41,688 --> 01:20:43,273
That's okay.
1185
01:20:43,982 --> 01:20:46,151
Your time is up anyway.
1186
01:20:47,944 --> 01:20:49,654
Say VOW prayers,
1187
01:20:49,779 --> 01:20:53,241
you pinko commie slime!
1188
01:20:54,284 --> 01:20:55,493
Slime?
1189
01:20:56,286 --> 01:20:58,746
No shooting with the gun, please!
1190
01:20:58,830 --> 01:21:00,874
Oh, look,
if we can talk about this...
1191
01:21:06,754 --> 01:21:08,840
Oh, hi, guys.
Glad you could stop by.
1192
01:21:10,967 --> 01:21:12,677
Well, well, well.
1193
01:21:13,386 --> 01:21:15,680
You finally decided
to show your face, eh?
1194
01:21:17,223 --> 01:21:19,580
Well, you walked
right into my little trap,
1195
01:21:19,142 --> 01:21:21,144
and you'll never get out alive.
1196
01:21:29,444 --> 01:21:30,904
Be my guest.
1197
01:21:35,408 --> 01:21:36,951
Take my money!
Anything you want! No, anything!
1198
01:21:37,350 --> 01:21:39,496
Go ahead, just ask me,
I'll tell you anything! Anything!
1199
01:21:39,829 --> 01:21:41,498
I'd like to know
what he did with my pants.
1200
01:21:46,794 --> 01:21:48,838
Good for you.
Son of a bitch.
1201
01:21:50,215 --> 01:21:51,424
Irwin!
1202
01:21:51,925 --> 01:21:53,885
Just in time to turn me over.
1203
01:21:56,540 --> 01:21:58,723
What's he doing?
He should be here by now!
1204
01:21:59,933 --> 01:22:01,142
Johnson,
1205
01:22:01,226 --> 01:22:02,685
go get Captain Braverman.
1206
01:22:02,769 --> 01:22:05,271
You go get him.
I don't miss him.
1207
01:22:05,396 --> 01:22:07,524
Johnson, you see this?
You know what this means?
1208
01:22:07,607 --> 01:22:11,361
Hey, you see this, sparky?
You know what this means, huh?
1209
01:22:14,364 --> 01:22:15,949
What do you got there, Chuck?
1210
01:22:16,320 --> 01:22:17,492
What is that?
1211
01:22:17,575 --> 01:22:19,869
Oh, laughing gas.
1212
01:22:29,128 --> 01:22:30,964
Men? Men!
1213
01:22:33,967 --> 01:22:35,843
The enemy is upon us!
1214
01:22:37,136 --> 01:22:38,513
Charge!
1215
01:22:40,473 --> 01:22:41,641
Gosh, is he dead?
1216
01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:43,726
I sure as hell hope so.
1217
01:23:03,746 --> 01:23:05,123
That one, right there!
1218
01:23:05,206 --> 01:23:06,833
You get him, we'll take the others.
1219
01:23:18,177 --> 01:23:21,431
There's nothing like the peace
and quiet of the wilderness.
1220
01:23:21,514 --> 01:23:22,599
Shall we go?
1221
01:23:22,682 --> 01:23:23,725
- I think we should.
- Absolutely.
1222
01:23:26,394 --> 01:23:27,854
Hey, guys,
where you been?
1223
01:23:28,187 --> 01:23:29,772
Taking care of
a little unfinished business.
1224
01:23:29,856 --> 01:23:31,190
You know, returning a favor.
1225
01:23:31,274 --> 01:23:33,234
Irwin, you look good!
1226
01:23:33,318 --> 01:23:34,944
I feel good. Can't complain.
1227
01:23:35,653 --> 01:23:37,238
GUYS, guys...
1228
01:23:37,322 --> 01:23:38,740
Enough of this hearts and flowers stuff.
1229
01:23:38,823 --> 01:23:41,659
What do you say
we win this race for us?
1230
01:23:45,204 --> 01:23:47,874
No, no. You dickhead.
1231
01:23:47,957 --> 01:23:51,377
You weren't supposed to get it engraved
until after they cross the finish line.
1232
01:23:51,461 --> 01:23:52,545
Now hide it.
1233
01:23:57,842 --> 01:23:59,469
Five minutes,
ladies and gentlemen.
1234
01:24:00,845 --> 01:24:03,806
Five minutes and counting.
Any bets?
1235
01:24:08,936 --> 01:24:10,313
Keep it steady.
1236
01:24:10,396 --> 01:24:11,773
That's it.
1237
01:24:12,982 --> 01:24:16,152
You know, guys, I can see it all now.
1238
01:24:16,402 --> 01:24:17,779
All of us being
carried around the square
1239
01:24:17,862 --> 01:24:19,822
on the shoulders
of cheering hordes.
1240
01:24:19,906 --> 01:24:23,660
Co-eds beating down our doors,
chaining themselves to our beds.
1241
01:24:24,952 --> 01:24:27,246
We're gonna get laid
for six months off this one.
1242
01:24:27,538 --> 01:24:30,458
Are you kidding? We're gonna be inducted
into the stud hall of fame.
1243
01:24:31,420 --> 01:24:33,200
I thought we already were.
I know I am.
1244
01:24:33,127 --> 01:24:35,400
You're such an animal.
1245
01:24:35,880 --> 01:24:37,900
Come on!
Forward, men, let's do it!
1246
01:24:37,632 --> 01:24:39,133
Move! Let's go.
1247
01:24:39,217 --> 01:24:40,927
Hard forward, that's it.
1248
01:24:41,100 --> 01:24:42,950
Keep it steady.
1249
01:25:09,455 --> 01:25:10,707
Powers.
1250
01:25:11,791 --> 01:25:14,627
Powers... The plunger.
1251
01:25:15,712 --> 01:25:19,507
Powers!
That's an order, bean head!
1252
01:25:50,288 --> 01:25:51,873
Stroke! Stroke!
1253
01:25:51,956 --> 01:25:53,791
Come on, forward!
1254
01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:56,461
So long, jerks!
1255
01:26:12,101 --> 01:26:13,144
Go! Go!
1256
01:26:13,227 --> 01:26:14,645
Go! Go!
1257
01:26:21,277 --> 01:26:23,863
Oh, God! You give great vibes.
1258
01:26:48,429 --> 01:26:49,514
Where's the river?
1259
01:26:55,770 --> 01:26:56,938
There's the river!
1260
01:26:58,606 --> 01:26:59,774
My God!
1261
01:26:59,857 --> 01:27:02,260
Back paddle!
Back paddle!
1262
01:27:36,102 --> 01:27:37,353
We did it! Come on!
1263
01:27:37,854 --> 01:27:40,273
Another victory for the Mighty Crimson!
1264
01:27:54,203 --> 01:27:55,538
Let's get out of here!
1265
01:28:01,168 --> 01:28:03,796
Oh, I think maybe
your toilet's overflowing.
1266
01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:24,293
Cocktails, anyone?
1267
01:29:35,596 --> 01:29:37,932
There's Ivy!
There's Ivy!
1268
01:29:41,394 --> 01:29:42,520
There's the finish line!
1269
01:29:44,438 --> 01:29:47,984
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
1270
01:29:57,660 --> 01:29:59,780
Come on, you guys!
1271
01:29:59,912 --> 01:30:01,372
See ya, Ivy!
1272
01:30:02,415 --> 01:30:03,958
They can't do that!
1273
01:30:04,410 --> 01:30:05,918
- That's cheating!
- They can't do that!
1274
01:30:10,172 --> 01:30:11,382
Yeah!
1275
01:30:23,185 --> 01:30:25,210
Team Lepetomane!
1276
01:30:25,396 --> 01:30:26,564
We did it!
1277
01:30:30,260 --> 01:30:31,902
Congratulations.
1278
01:31:00,598 --> 01:31:01,974
Tell me,
1279
01:31:02,558 --> 01:31:04,477
was it as good for you
1280
01:31:04,643 --> 01:31:06,979
as it was for me that time?
1281
01:31:07,730 --> 01:31:09,732
- No.
- No?
1282
01:31:12,777 --> 01:31:14,320
It was better.
1283
01:31:30,669 --> 01:31:31,837
Bob...
1284
01:31:32,880 --> 01:31:35,490
How big could it really be?
1285
01:31:37,927 --> 01:31:39,887
Well, let's find out.
1286
01:31:55,903 --> 01:31:58,197
I'm up the creek
1287
01:31:59,615 --> 01:32:02,201
I'm up the creek
1288
01:32:14,588 --> 01:32:18,259
Just like the one that got away
1289
01:32:18,634 --> 01:32:21,137
So close, but yet so far
1290
01:32:22,540 --> 01:32:24,807
I threw my hook into the water
1291
01:32:24,890 --> 01:32:27,560
I nearly caught her
1292
01:32:27,643 --> 01:32:29,190
How bizarre
1293
01:32:29,103 --> 01:32:31,522
Now I'm up the creek
1294
01:32:31,605 --> 01:32:33,440
Though I have lost a little pride
1295
01:32:33,524 --> 01:32:35,276
I'm up the creek
1296
01:32:35,359 --> 01:32:37,820
I know that time is on my side
1297
01:32:37,903 --> 01:32:39,196
I'm up the creek
1298
01:32:39,280 --> 01:32:41,198
Though you have pulled the plug on me
1299
01:32:41,282 --> 01:32:42,741
I'm up the creek
1300
01:32:42,825 --> 01:32:44,660
There's more than one fish in the sea
1301
01:32:44,743 --> 01:32:46,537
I'm not about to let it be
1302
01:32:46,620 --> 01:32:48,664
I know that I am up the creek
1303
01:32:50,291 --> 01:32:51,917
Hey! Hey!
1304
01:32:56,460 --> 01:32:58,924
The foreign legion's always there
1305
01:32:59,633 --> 01:33:02,136
I need a holiday
1306
01:33:03,262 --> 01:33:05,931
Daydream in the desert
1307
01:33:06,150 --> 01:33:08,434
With no pressure
1308
01:33:08,517 --> 01:33:12,396
That's the way
'cause I'm up the creek
1309
01:33:12,479 --> 01:33:14,398
Though I have lost a little drive
1310
01:33:14,481 --> 01:33:16,233
I'm up the creek
1311
01:33:16,317 --> 01:33:18,680
I know that time is on my side
1312
01:33:18,152 --> 01:33:19,904
I'm up the creek
1313
01:33:19,987 --> 01:33:21,697
Though you have pulled the plug on me
1314
01:33:21,780 --> 01:33:23,699
I'm up the creek
1315
01:33:23,782 --> 01:33:25,576
There's more than one fish in the sea
1316
01:33:25,659 --> 01:33:27,453
I'm not about to let it be
1317
01:33:27,536 --> 01:33:29,914
I know that I'm up the creek
1318
01:33:32,583 --> 01:33:34,543
I'm up the creek
1319
01:33:34,627 --> 01:33:36,253
Without a paddle
1320
01:33:36,337 --> 01:33:38,880
I'm up the creek
1321
01:33:38,172 --> 01:33:41,910
But that don't matter at all
1322
01:33:42,509 --> 01:33:46,130
No matter at all
1323
01:33:47,306 --> 01:33:49,990
I'm up the creek
1324
01:33:49,183 --> 01:33:50,893
Without a paddle
1325
01:33:50,976 --> 01:33:52,895
I'm up the creek
1326
01:33:52,978 --> 01:33:56,230
I'm learning to paddle it all
1327
01:33:57,816 --> 01:34:01,862
Paddle it all
1328
01:34:04,782 --> 01:34:06,283
Hey! Hey!
1329
01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:14,792
I'm up the creek
1330
01:34:17,461 --> 01:34:22,490
I'm up the creek
1331
01:34:24,802 --> 01:34:29,431
I'm up the creek
1332
01:34:29,515 --> 01:34:32,393
Here I go!
You want to go?
1333
01:34:32,476 --> 01:34:36,772
I'm up the creek
1334
01:34:36,855 --> 01:34:39,733
Help me! Help me! Help me!
1335
01:34:39,817 --> 01:34:44,446
I'm up the creek
1336
01:34:47,157 --> 01:34:51,787
I'm up the creek
1337
01:34:51,870 --> 01:34:55,457
Watch it! Wow!
1338
01:34:58,335 --> 01:35:02,214
The foreign legion's always there
1339
01:35:02,298 --> 01:35:04,842
I need a holiday
1340
01:35:06,100 --> 01:35:08,679
Daydream in the desert
1341
01:35:08,762 --> 01:35:11,307
With no pressure
1342
01:35:11,390 --> 01:35:15,352
That's the way
'cause I'm up the creek
1343
01:35:15,436 --> 01:35:17,479
Though I have lost a little drive
1344
01:35:17,563 --> 01:35:19,231
I'm up the creek
1345
01:35:19,315 --> 01:35:21,567
I know that time is on my side
1346
01:35:21,650 --> 01:35:22,860
I'm up the creek
1347
01:35:22,943 --> 01:35:24,778
Though you have pulled the plug on me
1348
01:35:24,862 --> 01:35:26,447
I'm up the creek
1349
01:35:26,530 --> 01:35:28,324
There's more than one fish in the sea
1350
01:35:28,407 --> 01:35:30,159
I'm not about to let it be
1351
01:35:30,242 --> 01:35:32,745
I know that I'm up the creek
1352
01:35:35,372 --> 01:35:37,207
I'm up the creek
1353
01:35:37,291 --> 01:35:38,959
Without a paddle
1354
01:35:39,430 --> 01:35:40,961
I'm up the creek...
86911
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