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1
00:00:01,312 --> 00:00:05,061
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:05,888 --> 00:00:07,756
Thank you, Mindy,
for letting me stay here
3
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:09,324
and forcing me to wear matching pajamas
4
00:00:09,325 --> 00:00:12,227
with you and your infant son.
5
00:00:12,228 --> 00:00:13,895
Those actually used to be Danny's.
6
00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:15,297
You're the same size.
7
00:00:15,298 --> 00:00:18,166
Mm. But I should probably get
dressed for work.
8
00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:20,335
What? Sit that tiny butt down.
9
00:00:20,336 --> 00:00:22,270
I already called in sick for you.
10
00:00:22,271 --> 00:00:23,505
But I'm not sick.
11
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My temperature is a normal 92.1 degrees.
12
00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:28,944
I've never wasted a sick day
on actually being sick.
13
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:31,079
You're heartbroken. You need
to focus on what's important
14
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,447
and nourish your soul.
15
00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:34,616
I'll put Leo down for his nap
and show you what I mean.
16
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,351
Welcome to the whackateria.
17
00:00:36,352 --> 00:00:38,086
Interesting. But just to be clear,
18
00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:39,254
is this pornography
19
00:00:39,255 --> 00:00:41,256
or a documentary
about human trafficking?
20
00:00:41,257 --> 00:00:43,325
Good question. Kind of both.
21
00:00:43,326 --> 00:00:45,093
This is Sploders.com.
22
00:00:45,094 --> 00:00:47,763
It's the Willy Wonka Factory,
but for perverts.
23
00:00:47,764 --> 00:00:50,098
So, what's your sexual thing?
They'll definitely have it.
24
00:00:50,099 --> 00:00:53,535
Oh, no, nothing.
Just normal sex with men.
25
00:00:53,536 --> 00:00:55,704
Anna, sweetheart,
26
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:58,707
you are far too uptight
to not have a kink, okay?
27
00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:00,342
You can tell me. I'm not gonna judge.
28
00:01:00,343 --> 00:01:04,112
Mine is biracial job interviews.
29
00:01:04,113 --> 00:01:05,514
Hairy backs.
30
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All right. That's a good girl.
31
00:01:08,084 --> 00:01:10,485
"Armenian restaurant owner
breaks in new cook."
32
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This is a good one.
33
00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:15,724
It is hot in kitchen.
34
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Maybe I should take off shirt.
35
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,895
Mindy, didn't you say
you had some laundry to fold?
36
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:21,797
Oh, no... oh.
37
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:24,299
Yeah. Yes, I do.
38
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- Horgash likes that.
- Ooh.
39
00:01:25,802 --> 00:01:29,499
[hip-hop music]
40
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,945
Doo-doo-doo it's a beautiful morning
41
00:01:33,946 --> 00:01:35,646
All right.
42
00:01:35,647 --> 00:01:37,248
[ukulele music]
43
00:01:37,249 --> 00:01:39,250
Oh, God! Karen!
44
00:01:39,251 --> 00:01:40,718
What are you doing in here?
45
00:01:40,719 --> 00:01:41,886
Oh, hey, Morgan.
46
00:01:41,887 --> 00:01:45,323
I changed your closet
into a recording studio.
47
00:01:45,324 --> 00:01:47,358
I hope you don't mind
I moved your shirt and pant.
48
00:01:47,359 --> 00:01:50,962
Hey! Why'd you stop playing, beautiful?
49
00:01:50,963 --> 00:01:54,732
I was really groovin' out there
making our Fruity Pebs.
50
00:01:54,733 --> 00:01:57,935
Morgan, is Karen not
the sickest musician?
51
00:01:57,936 --> 00:01:59,170
I've heard better.
52
00:01:59,171 --> 00:02:00,404
She's got such a unique voice.
53
00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:03,407
It's like Carole King
with real bad allergies.
54
00:02:03,408 --> 00:02:05,076
- Mm-hmm.
- Actually, I don't even have
55
00:02:05,077 --> 00:02:06,277
that much vocal training,
56
00:02:06,278 --> 00:02:08,546
unless you count three years
being a whale caller
57
00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:10,515
for the Alaskan Coast Guard.
58
00:02:10,516 --> 00:02:11,516
Huh?
59
00:02:11,517 --> 00:02:14,185
Hey, um, I have a date with Dina,
60
00:02:14,186 --> 00:02:15,620
the lady who works at the cafeteria.
61
00:02:15,621 --> 00:02:17,455
Dina? She's, like, a smoke show.
62
00:02:17,456 --> 00:02:18,623
- Yeah.
- Are you sure
63
00:02:18,624 --> 00:02:19,624
you got a shot, man?
64
00:02:19,625 --> 00:02:20,992
She laughs at all my jokes.
65
00:02:20,993 --> 00:02:23,294
And I'm not sure she understands
what I'm saying
66
00:02:23,295 --> 00:02:24,962
- 'cause her English is so bad.
- Oh.
67
00:02:24,963 --> 00:02:27,698
But it is on, so I would like
to bring her back here tonight.
68
00:02:27,699 --> 00:02:28,933
Ooh, no can do, buddy.
69
00:02:28,934 --> 00:02:31,169
It's... it's our three-week anniversary,
70
00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:33,171
so we're gonna go to fifth base.
71
00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:34,572
It's a lesbian thing.
72
00:02:34,573 --> 00:02:36,274
- Okay.
- Super important.
73
00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:37,975
No. No, no, no. Good for you guys.
74
00:02:37,976 --> 00:02:39,177
I support you as always.
75
00:02:39,178 --> 00:02:42,346
I'm gonna see if Dina can reschedule.
76
00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:44,182
Aw. God, you're a good friend.
77
00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:45,184
Thanks, bud.
78
00:02:46,718 --> 00:02:49,987
- Big plans this weekend?
- You know. The usual. GTL.
79
00:02:49,988 --> 00:02:51,923
Like "Jersey Shore"? Gym, Tan, Laundry?
80
00:02:51,924 --> 00:02:53,124
Gin, Tonic, Lacework.
81
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:54,392
Hello, Jeremy.
82
00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:57,128
I was at the coffee shop getting
my morning hot water
83
00:02:57,129 --> 00:02:58,796
and I saw this scone...
would you like it?
84
00:02:58,797 --> 00:03:01,165
Thank you, Anna. That's so considerate.
85
00:03:01,166 --> 00:03:02,934
And people wonder why I always carry
86
00:03:02,935 --> 00:03:05,169
a small jar of currant jam on my person.
87
00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:06,772
- Enjoy.
- Thanks, Anna.
88
00:03:09,341 --> 00:03:11,409
Uh, did you just notice anything?
89
00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:13,678
Yes. The Americans call this a scone,
90
00:03:13,679 --> 00:03:15,546
but it's neither dry nor mealy.
91
00:03:15,547 --> 00:03:18,216
No, dummo. Anna's into you.
92
00:03:18,217 --> 00:03:19,617
No.
93
00:03:19,618 --> 00:03:23,988
I mean, there was this one time where...
94
00:03:23,989 --> 00:03:25,189
no, I mustn't speak of it.
95
00:03:25,190 --> 00:03:27,358
What? You know all my secrets.
96
00:03:27,359 --> 00:03:28,793
I told you my pin number. It's...
97
00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:30,862
[together] 8-0-0-8
because it spells "BOOB."
98
00:03:30,863 --> 00:03:32,396
Okay, fine. The night that Anna was
99
00:03:32,397 --> 00:03:33,531
staying at my apartment...
100
00:03:33,532 --> 00:03:35,600
you know, when she left Tim...
101
00:03:35,601 --> 00:03:36,734
she kissed me.
102
00:03:36,735 --> 00:03:38,469
Oh, my God. Why didn't you pounce?
103
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:39,704
She's so hot.
She's like one of those girls
104
00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:41,072
that tried to drown me at camp.
105
00:03:41,073 --> 00:03:43,241
She was intoxicated,
and she'd just left Tim,
106
00:03:43,242 --> 00:03:44,909
and we work together.
107
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,377
Mindy, it would be inappropriate.
108
00:03:46,378 --> 00:03:48,846
Inappropriate?
Everyone here is inappropriate.
109
00:03:48,847 --> 00:03:50,515
- That's true.
- You got to ask her out.
110
00:03:51,683 --> 00:03:52,750
Hey, Dina.
111
00:03:52,751 --> 00:03:54,151
Can we move our date?
112
00:03:54,152 --> 00:03:56,220
- [both giggling]
- Shh!
113
00:03:56,221 --> 00:03:57,989
Having some roomie drama.
114
00:03:57,990 --> 00:03:59,457
Damn, Karen, I had to get you alone
115
00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:03,761
because your shoulders look so
sharp in that blouse. Come here.
116
00:04:03,762 --> 00:04:05,897
Oh, God!
117
00:04:05,898 --> 00:04:07,532
- I am so sorry.
- Hello? Hello?
118
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,167
Ugh!
119
00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:11,302
- Hey.
- Hey.
120
00:04:11,303 --> 00:04:13,004
Trying to make a sexy phone call.
121
00:04:13,005 --> 00:04:14,772
I'm sorry. I didn't even see you there.
122
00:04:14,773 --> 00:04:16,807
It's just my bangs are getting so long.
123
00:04:16,808 --> 00:04:18,309
You know, I got to say
I had more privacy
124
00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:19,510
when I lived with my grandmother,
125
00:04:19,511 --> 00:04:21,045
and our toilet was in the kitchen.
126
00:04:21,046 --> 00:04:24,315
Excuse me. Get out of the way, please.
127
00:04:24,316 --> 00:04:25,549
Whew.
128
00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:26,684
I got to talk to you.
129
00:04:26,685 --> 00:04:28,286
Do you have anyone in your life
130
00:04:28,287 --> 00:04:30,888
that is just so annoying.
131
00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:33,124
I mean, they're just always
up in your personal space,
132
00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:36,227
and they're not mean...
they're just so annoying!
133
00:04:36,228 --> 00:04:37,795
I know exactly
what you're talking about.
134
00:04:37,796 --> 00:04:40,898
- What do you do?
- [clattering]
135
00:04:40,899 --> 00:04:43,301
What I do in this instance is
136
00:04:43,302 --> 00:04:45,803
I try to use body language
137
00:04:45,804 --> 00:04:47,705
that is clear and obvious
138
00:04:47,706 --> 00:04:49,941
to indicate that I want them to leave.
139
00:04:49,942 --> 00:04:51,642
Yeah. No, no, no, no, but what
if they just...
140
00:04:51,643 --> 00:04:55,646
they don't understand subtle
communication like me and you?
141
00:04:55,647 --> 00:04:57,615
Get out. You are wasting my time.
142
00:04:57,616 --> 00:04:58,816
I could try saying that to Karen,
143
00:04:58,817 --> 00:05:00,584
but I don't know
how she's gonna take it.
144
00:05:00,585 --> 00:05:03,287
- Morgan, get out.
- Okay, okay. No, no, no.
145
00:05:03,288 --> 00:05:06,257
Morgan, colon, dialogue, "Get out!"
146
00:05:06,258 --> 00:05:08,259
I get it. Will it work?
147
00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:10,061
But you're right.
I've got to stand up for myself.
148
00:05:10,062 --> 00:05:11,662
I'm gonna keep my date with Dina.
149
00:05:11,663 --> 00:05:13,364
Get the hell out of here!
150
00:05:13,365 --> 00:05:16,434
Aah, I know! I can't believe
I've got a hot date too!
151
00:05:16,435 --> 00:05:17,535
Ahh.
152
00:05:17,536 --> 00:05:19,403
Oh, my God. I got to go.
153
00:05:19,404 --> 00:05:20,972
Can't just sit in here
and gab with you all day.
154
00:05:20,973 --> 00:05:22,974
I know you'd love that. Yeah!
155
00:05:22,975 --> 00:05:24,175
Aah!
156
00:05:24,176 --> 00:05:25,710
So I told the TSA woman,
157
00:05:25,711 --> 00:05:27,912
if you're gonna pat down
my breasts for this long,
158
00:05:27,913 --> 00:05:30,114
- I'd like to be paid.
- Excuse me, Jeremy.
159
00:05:30,115 --> 00:05:32,083
I was hoping you could
take a look at Mrs. Suarez.
160
00:05:32,084 --> 00:05:34,752
She wants a second opinion.
Her fetus doesn't like me.
161
00:05:34,753 --> 00:05:36,787
Second opinion? I'm flattered.
162
00:05:36,788 --> 00:05:39,156
People around here
normally ignore my opinions.
163
00:05:39,157 --> 00:05:41,660
Mrs. Suarez is in
the exam room when you're ready.
164
00:05:42,928 --> 00:05:44,628
Now isn't she a breath of fresh air?
165
00:05:44,629 --> 00:05:46,464
Now that she's had a week
to get over her marriage,
166
00:05:46,465 --> 00:05:48,032
I think I'm gonna ask her on a date.
167
00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:49,233
She's the kind of woman
168
00:05:49,234 --> 00:05:51,002
mother would come down
from the attic for.
169
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:52,470
Hm.
170
00:05:52,471 --> 00:05:54,739
Hey, man, you need
to get on this Anna thing fast.
171
00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:56,974
A girl that hot
does not stay single for long.
172
00:05:56,975 --> 00:05:58,976
I can hear Leonardo DiCaprio
turning his yacht around
173
00:05:58,977 --> 00:06:00,311
as we speak.
174
00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:02,646
Ah, this is so stressful.
I haven't journalled
175
00:06:02,647 --> 00:06:04,482
through my feelings on the topic.
176
00:06:04,483 --> 00:06:05,516
[exclaims]
177
00:06:05,517 --> 00:06:06,817
You know what? You're a loser,
178
00:06:06,818 --> 00:06:08,185
and you should stay single till you die,
179
00:06:08,186 --> 00:06:09,286
or you should marry your bird.
180
00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,255
Yeah, as if that's legal.
181
00:06:11,256 --> 00:06:14,058
Fine. I like her. I'm gonna ask her out.
182
00:06:14,059 --> 00:06:16,594
I just... as Jody's friend,
183
00:06:16,595 --> 00:06:18,295
I've got to tell him first.
184
00:06:18,296 --> 00:06:19,797
Boo. Male friendships are boring.
185
00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:21,665
The only friendships
worth thinking about are
186
00:06:21,666 --> 00:06:23,067
Gayle and Oprah or, like,
187
00:06:23,068 --> 00:06:25,669
a young African-American boy
and his Jewish chess master.
188
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:27,905
Yeah, you've already told me
that movie idea.
189
00:06:27,906 --> 00:06:29,340
I love it.
190
00:06:29,341 --> 00:06:30,409
Good luck!
191
00:06:32,177 --> 00:06:33,411
Well, hi, Jeremy. Come on in.
192
00:06:33,412 --> 00:06:34,478
I'm just popping in to let you know
193
00:06:34,479 --> 00:06:36,013
I'm gonna be asking Anna out on a date.
194
00:06:36,014 --> 00:06:37,014
Okay, bye.
195
00:06:37,015 --> 00:06:38,749
Oh, sweetie, no.
196
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,051
Maybe you misheard me.
197
00:06:40,052 --> 00:06:41,952
I'm gonna be asking Anna out.
198
00:06:41,953 --> 00:06:45,056
No. I heard you.
It's just I also like Anna.
199
00:06:45,057 --> 00:06:46,424
And I think she likes me too.
200
00:06:46,425 --> 00:06:48,092
In fact, she kissed me the other day.
201
00:06:48,093 --> 00:06:49,860
So? She kissed me too.
202
00:06:49,861 --> 00:06:51,962
- What?
- And also I called dibs,
203
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,030
and you know the rules.
204
00:06:53,031 --> 00:06:54,565
You can't call dibs on an adult woman
205
00:06:54,566 --> 00:06:57,768
like she's the last comfy chair
at movie night.
206
00:06:57,769 --> 00:06:59,837
Why don't you go find yourself
another nice girl?
207
00:06:59,838 --> 00:07:01,872
As long as it's somebody I
haven't already called dibs on,
208
00:07:01,873 --> 00:07:02,907
you're good to go.
209
00:07:02,908 --> 00:07:04,275
Oh, I see. I see.
210
00:07:04,276 --> 00:07:06,544
I'm meant to let you do
whatever the hell it is you like
211
00:07:06,545 --> 00:07:08,779
just because you're the alpha
and I'm the beta.
212
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:10,247
Well, I wouldn't put it that way.
213
00:07:10,248 --> 00:07:12,149
I'd say I'm the strong, decisive leader,
214
00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:13,784
and you're the sensitive musical one
215
00:07:13,785 --> 00:07:15,219
who looks up to me, the alpha.
216
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,188
Oh, did I go and say it?
217
00:07:17,189 --> 00:07:19,390
Just because my best friends
are a piano and a bird
218
00:07:19,391 --> 00:07:21,158
doesn't make me the beta.
219
00:07:21,159 --> 00:07:23,662
I'm asking Anna out, and I don't
give a damn what you think.
220
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,640
Tamra, I haven't been
on the social scene
221
00:07:27,665 --> 00:07:29,164
since I fell down the steps
at the opera.
222
00:07:29,189 --> 00:07:31,375
What would be an impressive first date
223
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,471
for a woman that, you know,
I really want to wow.
224
00:07:34,472 --> 00:07:35,639
Now, this is a real woman
225
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:36,940
and not like the time
you got catfished...
226
00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:38,775
- ...by a man with no arms and no legs.
- By a man with no arms and no legs.
227
00:07:38,776 --> 00:07:40,210
No. This is a real woman, Tamra.
228
00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:41,978
First, take her to dinner at Helsinki.
229
00:07:41,979 --> 00:07:43,513
It's that new ice restaurant
230
00:07:43,514 --> 00:07:45,049
that just opened up in Rhom-Tri.
231
00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:48,018
- The rhombus under Tribeca.
- Okay.
232
00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:49,486
Oh, and then take her to see that play
233
00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:51,888
where Jake Gyllenhaal just moves
furniture around the stage.
234
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,257
- Furniture, Jake Gyllenhaal.
- If you do those two things,
235
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:56,092
you know what the third thing
you're gonna do is.
236
00:07:56,093 --> 00:07:59,596
The apple crumble for dessert
at Serendipity. Scrumptious.
237
00:07:59,597 --> 00:08:01,097
You might run into Dr. K,
'cause I told him
238
00:08:01,098 --> 00:08:02,399
to do the same stuff with Anna
239
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,800
on their first date tomorrow night.
240
00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:05,135
Jody's already asked Anna out?
241
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,070
He got her dad's permission
and everything.
242
00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:08,405
- [sighs]
- Who are you asking out?
243
00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:09,806
Your partner from salsa class?
244
00:08:09,807 --> 00:08:11,107
Tamra, you know we have an odd number,
245
00:08:11,108 --> 00:08:13,177
and I am forced to dance
with Instructor Carlos.
246
00:08:17,248 --> 00:08:19,716
Hey, Anna. Wanna prank call
pizza places with me?
247
00:08:19,717 --> 00:08:21,184
I think you'd be really good at it.
248
00:08:21,185 --> 00:08:24,654
I don't think so. I have some
paperwork I need to do tonight.
249
00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:26,290
- Okay, well...
- [knocking at door]
250
00:08:27,692 --> 00:08:29,659
Hey, what are you doing here?
251
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:30,960
I was just in the neighborhood,
252
00:08:30,961 --> 00:08:32,362
and I thought to myself,
253
00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:33,596
"Well, got some Prosecco
254
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,932
"and some strawberries
and clotted cream,
255
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,133
"a jigsaw puzzle.
256
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:40,303
Why not pop in on my old mate Mindy?"
257
00:08:40,304 --> 00:08:42,572
- Huh? This is weird.
- That's not weird.
258
00:08:42,573 --> 00:08:44,007
Just want to hang out with you,
that's all.
259
00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:45,975
And anyone else who happens to be here.
260
00:08:45,976 --> 00:08:48,011
Oh, Leo. I'm sorry, man.
261
00:08:48,012 --> 00:08:49,112
I don't know how to tell you this,
262
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,246
but he thinks you're lame.
263
00:08:50,247 --> 00:08:51,315
Well, it's...
264
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:55,852
- [whispering] Oh, Anna?
- Yes, you idiot.
265
00:08:55,853 --> 00:08:57,520
Jody's taking her on a date
tomorrow night,
266
00:08:57,521 --> 00:08:58,521
so time is of the essence.
267
00:08:58,522 --> 00:08:59,789
Please just help me out.
268
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,691
Anna, guess who's here? It's Jeremy.
269
00:09:01,692 --> 00:09:03,293
Oh, hello, Jeremy.
270
00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:04,527
What are you doing here?
271
00:09:04,528 --> 00:09:05,662
Oh, this is totally normal.
272
00:09:05,663 --> 00:09:07,297
He comes over all the time
to watch movies.
273
00:09:07,298 --> 00:09:09,666
- We eat snotted cream.
- Clotted cream.
274
00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:11,501
But honestly, Jeremy, old chum,
275
00:09:11,502 --> 00:09:12,902
tonight I won't be able to join you
276
00:09:12,903 --> 00:09:15,205
because my bowels are rumblin'.
277
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,506
[whispers] Just say you're tired.
278
00:09:16,507 --> 00:09:20,043
[grunting] I feel bad.
279
00:09:20,044 --> 00:09:21,911
Ah, man, well,
I'm gonna call it a night.
280
00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:24,581
For your safety, do not go
near the bathroom.
281
00:09:24,582 --> 00:09:26,783
For God's sake.
282
00:09:26,784 --> 00:09:28,151
Turn the fan on.
283
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:33,223
So, dare I pour us a snort of Prosecco?
284
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,158
Oh, uh, okay.
285
00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:37,794
But just a splash, because I really need
286
00:09:37,795 --> 00:09:39,295
to finish this paperwork tonight.
287
00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:42,465
I hear you. Work is important.
288
00:09:42,466 --> 00:09:46,770
So, I warn you,
this English clotted cream is
289
00:09:46,771 --> 00:09:48,705
somewhat clottier
than what you're used to.
290
00:09:48,706 --> 00:09:50,741
I wonder if Mindy has a cream caddy.
291
00:09:52,576 --> 00:09:54,344
- This is my room.
- Big.
292
00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:55,545
Yeah. I got the top bunk.
293
00:09:55,546 --> 00:09:58,114
- That's hot.
- Yeah, it is hot.
294
00:09:58,115 --> 00:10:00,283
Do you... do you want a boost?
'Cause I broke the ladder
295
00:10:00,284 --> 00:10:01,618
on Christmas morning...
I came down too...
296
00:10:01,619 --> 00:10:03,420
- Yeah. Sure, sure. Push me up.
- Great, great, great.
297
00:10:03,421 --> 00:10:06,389
[grunts] Got you. Oh, yeah. Here we go.
298
00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:07,690
Oh, no. Oh.
299
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:08,792
[grunts] Pull.
300
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:09,793
You are big man.
301
00:10:09,794 --> 00:10:11,194
I brac-ed feet.
302
00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:12,562
Just go. Big man.
303
00:10:12,563 --> 00:10:15,965
There we go. Oh, my God.
304
00:10:15,966 --> 00:10:17,500
Morgan, make sex to me.
305
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:19,469
Oh, your turtleneck... it's so itchy.
306
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:21,404
Oh, oh, my God. Hey, do me a favor.
307
00:10:21,405 --> 00:10:24,607
Put on the hair net.
Put it on. I got to see it.
308
00:10:24,608 --> 00:10:26,042
- Oh, God!
- [screams]
309
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,344
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Oh, no! I'm sorry!
310
00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:30,013
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
311
00:10:30,014 --> 00:10:31,815
I was just... I was recording in there.
312
00:10:31,816 --> 00:10:33,983
I think the microphone
did pick up some kissing noises,
313
00:10:33,984 --> 00:10:36,085
so I am gonna need to get you
to sign a release.
314
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,287
- Stop it.
- Oh, no.
315
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,756
I think I sprained my scooping hand.
316
00:10:39,757 --> 00:10:41,324
I need for the scoop!
317
00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:43,393
I'm finished in the cafeteria.
318
00:10:43,394 --> 00:10:45,361
They'll put me on the registers.
319
00:10:45,362 --> 00:10:46,563
Oh, no, no.
320
00:10:46,564 --> 00:10:48,565
Morgan, I don't want to see you again.
321
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:50,467
Stay out of my cafeteria.
322
00:10:50,468 --> 00:10:53,336
From now on, you go
to the Garden Street Cafe,
323
00:10:53,337 --> 00:10:55,839
level B1.
324
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,640
- I don't have panini money.
- Level B1.
325
00:10:57,641 --> 00:11:00,743
I can't go. I can't go.
Dina, Dina, Dina!
326
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,679
Oh, my God.
327
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,248
Everywhere I go, Karen, you're there.
328
00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:07,951
Work, home...
329
00:11:07,952 --> 00:11:09,452
those are the only two places I go,
330
00:11:09,453 --> 00:11:10,453
but you're always there.
331
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:11,488
And I'm gonna say to you
332
00:11:11,489 --> 00:11:13,356
what I say to all the penguins
at the zoo:
333
00:11:13,357 --> 00:11:15,926
"Go back to Alaska, you weirdos!"
334
00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:23,199
Time to dig into this puzzle.
335
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,935
Um, I actually...
I have some stuff I need to do.
336
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:29,172
Oh, but it's of the doors
of Rochester, New York.
337
00:11:29,173 --> 00:11:31,841
- My hometown?
- Is it?
338
00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:33,643
Is it really? What a coincidence
339
00:11:33,644 --> 00:11:36,246
that my random choice
340
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:38,715
should have some personal
significance to you.
341
00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:41,017
Okay, here we go.
342
00:11:41,018 --> 00:11:44,187
Okay, so, the easiest way is
343
00:11:44,188 --> 00:11:46,055
finding the corners.
344
00:11:46,056 --> 00:11:47,724
- Jeremy...
- It's actually easiest
345
00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:49,292
because they're
in a very specific shape.
346
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,827
- I don't want to do this.
- They're in a rectangle,
347
00:11:50,828 --> 00:11:52,362
and we don't need to worry
with these little knobbly bits.
348
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:53,363
- Jeremy, please put it away.
- And then we
349
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,497
lay down the corners, and then...
350
00:11:54,498 --> 00:11:55,565
[shouting] Please put the puzzle away.
351
00:11:55,566 --> 00:11:56,867
I don't want to do this.
352
00:11:59,904 --> 00:12:02,772
I misjudged it. I'm so sorry.
353
00:12:02,773 --> 00:12:03,840
My mistake.
354
00:12:03,841 --> 00:12:05,075
Aah!
355
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,810
[exhales]
356
00:12:08,913 --> 00:12:10,480
Oh, no, no, no, Anna, don't cry.
357
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:12,181
The puzzle's fine. The puzzle's okay.
358
00:12:12,182 --> 00:12:14,984
These papers took the brunt of it.
359
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,921
"State of New York divorce filing"?
360
00:12:18,589 --> 00:12:21,491
Oh, Anna, I'm sorry.
361
00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:22,959
It's okay.
362
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,061
[sniffles]
363
00:12:25,062 --> 00:12:27,030
I'm sorry if I was short with you.
364
00:12:27,031 --> 00:12:28,364
No, no. Come on.
365
00:12:28,365 --> 00:12:29,999
It's just I got to the part
in the paperwork
366
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,069
where I have to list
Tim's transgressions,
367
00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:36,206
which hasn't been easy
because there's been so many.
368
00:12:37,274 --> 00:12:39,375
Maybe I could help.
369
00:12:39,376 --> 00:12:41,811
No, I actually helped my mother
with her divorce paperwork
370
00:12:41,812 --> 00:12:43,012
from father,
371
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:46,749
and then later when she divorced
Sheik Mahmoud.
372
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:50,520
Why don't you tell me what to write,
373
00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:51,955
and I'll write it down?
374
00:12:51,956 --> 00:12:53,923
- You would do that?
- Of course.
375
00:12:53,924 --> 00:12:56,626
You know, I actually became
a doctor for the paperwork.
376
00:12:56,627 --> 00:12:57,627
Heh.
377
00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:00,096
[springs squeaking]
378
00:13:00,097 --> 00:13:01,097
Morgan!
379
00:13:01,098 --> 00:13:02,398
Hey! Whoa! No, no, no, no, no.
380
00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:04,133
Hey! Hey! I got the sign up!
381
00:13:04,134 --> 00:13:06,769
Come on, man. [grunts]
382
00:13:06,770 --> 00:13:08,771
Why did I get a text from my girlfriend
383
00:13:08,772 --> 00:13:11,441
saying she's not coming
to our apartment anymore?
384
00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:13,076
Because she ruined my night of passion.
385
00:13:13,077 --> 00:13:15,244
That is not passion.
386
00:13:15,245 --> 00:13:16,746
Let me tell you something.
I got Dina back here.
387
00:13:16,747 --> 00:13:19,182
Finally. And we were
getting in our underwear,
388
00:13:19,183 --> 00:13:21,017
and all of a sudden,
Karen pops out of my closet
389
00:13:21,018 --> 00:13:23,086
like a ghost, and I fling Dina
across the room.
390
00:13:23,087 --> 00:13:24,687
You know how hard it is to get a woman
391
00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:25,788
to come back to your apartment
392
00:13:25,789 --> 00:13:27,991
when you live 85 stops off the subway.
393
00:13:27,992 --> 00:13:29,626
I'm just gonna be real with you.
Your girlfriend's
394
00:13:29,627 --> 00:13:31,194
- really annoying.
- Mm.
395
00:13:31,195 --> 00:13:32,729
Yeah, she's always
running around this apartment
396
00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:33,830
practicing her yo-yo,
397
00:13:33,831 --> 00:13:35,598
and she hit one of my dogs in the eye,
398
00:13:35,599 --> 00:13:37,133
and he has to wear an eye patch.
399
00:13:37,134 --> 00:13:38,768
Scooter looks like an idiot!
400
00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:40,303
- Scooter is an idiot!
- You're an idiot!
401
00:13:40,304 --> 00:13:42,805
- Arg! It's clobbering time!
- [grunts]
402
00:13:42,806 --> 00:13:44,574
[shouts]
403
00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:46,909
[both grunting]
404
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:50,079
[shouting and grunting]
405
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,783
[dogs barking]
406
00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:04,193
Stop. Tap out. Tap out. Oh, oh!
407
00:14:04,194 --> 00:14:08,564
Okay, I can't afford steroids like you.
408
00:14:08,565 --> 00:14:11,000
I won't put you in another headlock,
409
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,702
but you got to listen to me.
410
00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:15,338
Karen was the first girl I've
liked in a really long time,
411
00:14:15,339 --> 00:14:17,241
and you messed it up.
412
00:14:19,043 --> 00:14:20,209
[dogs whine]
413
00:14:20,210 --> 00:14:21,678
I'm going for a bike ride.
414
00:14:21,679 --> 00:14:23,446
Colette, I...
415
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:25,048
Colette, I'm sorry.
416
00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:26,616
Colette, come back here, please.
417
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,818
I'm sorry!
418
00:14:28,819 --> 00:14:30,620
Et tu, Scooter?
419
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:31,822
[sighs]
420
00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:36,159
He cheated on me constantly.
421
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,394
He slept with the caterer
during the father-daughter dance
422
00:14:38,395 --> 00:14:39,762
at our wedding.
423
00:14:39,763 --> 00:14:41,431
I could hear his moans from the closet
424
00:14:41,432 --> 00:14:43,299
over Suga Suga's "How'd You Get So Fly."
425
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,869
I'll just put "various infidelities."
426
00:14:47,438 --> 00:14:49,739
Thank you for helping me
with this, Jeremy.
427
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:51,541
It really has made it a lot easier.
428
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:52,975
Well, you know, I like being here,
429
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:54,377
even under the circumstances.
430
00:14:54,378 --> 00:14:55,946
[pager beeping]
431
00:14:57,748 --> 00:15:00,583
Oh, it's the hospital.
432
00:15:00,584 --> 00:15:02,586
I guess one of my patients went
into labor early.
433
00:15:05,456 --> 00:15:08,191
I really do appreciate
the company tonight, Jeremy.
434
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:10,159
- Oh.
- Oh, and, um,
435
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,462
if you wouldn't mind checking
on Mindy...
436
00:15:12,463 --> 00:15:14,263
I think she fell asleep on the toilet.
437
00:15:14,264 --> 00:15:15,299
Right.
438
00:15:16,767 --> 00:15:18,067
Dr. Ziev is on her way.
439
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,902
What birthing suite would you
like for us to prep?
440
00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:21,270
Oh, that won't be necessary.
441
00:15:21,271 --> 00:15:25,074
But could you find me an ice bucket?
442
00:15:25,075 --> 00:15:28,205
Never mind. I'll just fill a
bedpan with ice from the morgue.
443
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,001
Uh, what are you doing
444
00:15:35,026 --> 00:15:37,394
on the floor of the scrub-in room?
445
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,129
Well, I just couldn't wait
for our date tomorrow,
446
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:42,332
so I decided to throw you
a spontaneous picnic.
447
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,301
I'm sorry. Did you just take
a photograph of me?
448
00:15:44,302 --> 00:15:46,903
I just want to document the moment.
449
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,039
Can I pour you some ros??
450
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,774
No. I can't drink.
451
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,509
I got called in for a procedure.
452
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:54,010
Well, good news!
453
00:15:54,011 --> 00:15:55,679
I made that up to get you here.
454
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,681
Yay, romantic ruse!
455
00:15:57,682 --> 00:15:59,883
Would you like a water cracker?
456
00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:01,718
Are you out of your mind?
457
00:16:01,719 --> 00:16:04,487
I just called Stephanie Ruiz's husband
458
00:16:04,488 --> 00:16:06,323
in Afghanistan.
459
00:16:06,324 --> 00:16:07,724
Oops.
460
00:16:07,725 --> 00:16:09,359
But now that you're here,
461
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,861
why don't you take a seat?
462
00:16:11,862 --> 00:16:12,996
This is insane.
463
00:16:12,997 --> 00:16:14,331
And unhygienic.
464
00:16:14,332 --> 00:16:15,799
Do you have any idea how much placenta
465
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,267
must have been tracked on this floor?
466
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:18,702
I took a wet wipe to it.
467
00:16:18,703 --> 00:16:20,070
I'm leaving.
468
00:16:20,071 --> 00:16:21,638
For one thing, I'm not comfortable
469
00:16:21,639 --> 00:16:25,875
with how close those candles are
to that oxygen tank.
470
00:16:25,876 --> 00:16:27,344
Oh, idiots.
471
00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:29,012
How'd it go with Anna?
472
00:16:29,013 --> 00:16:31,147
You know, I think I laid
some really good groundwork.
473
00:16:31,148 --> 00:16:33,350
I was a great shoulder to cry on,
474
00:16:33,351 --> 00:16:34,517
very masculine,
475
00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:36,052
and also I took your advice
476
00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:38,788
and didn't once mention my harp
lessons or sleeping gloves.
477
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,924
Oh, my God, Jeremy. This might happen.
478
00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:42,926
Oh, I'm gonna give
the best speech at your wedding.
479
00:16:42,927 --> 00:16:44,261
[phone buzzes]
480
00:16:44,262 --> 00:16:46,096
Ooh, you're blowing up.
Let's see who it is.
481
00:16:46,097 --> 00:16:47,964
Mm.
482
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,133
Oh.
483
00:16:50,201 --> 00:16:51,301
Never mind.
484
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,602
There's not gonna be a wedding.
485
00:16:52,603 --> 00:16:54,704
I mean, unless it's
between Anna and Jody.
486
00:16:54,705 --> 00:16:57,607
- All is lost.
- What are you talking about?
487
00:16:57,608 --> 00:17:00,210
Oh, come on.
488
00:17:00,211 --> 00:17:01,878
Hey, man, I'm really sorry.
489
00:17:01,879 --> 00:17:04,447
But you know what? I'm not gonna
go to their wedding.
490
00:17:04,448 --> 00:17:07,684
But they're both really rich.
It'll be really fun.
491
00:17:07,685 --> 00:17:09,719
You know what? I'm not gonna
go to their brunch.
492
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,522
I never do. I'm always too hungover.
493
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,325
Thanks?
494
00:17:16,694 --> 00:17:19,195
- Hey, Karen.
- Morgan! Oh, my gosh.
495
00:17:19,196 --> 00:17:21,665
Oh, my gosh.
I am so sorry about yesterday.
496
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,700
That was my second-worst
coming out of the closet.
497
00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,503
The third was telling my parents
I was gay.
498
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:29,239
Wait. I'm sorry.
You're apologizing to me?
499
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,008
I wrote you a song on the
ukulele to make up for it.
500
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,744
It's called "When Morgans Cry."
501
00:17:34,745 --> 00:17:38,415
How could I anger such a large man?
502
00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:41,518
Shh, shh, shh. Stop, stop, stop.
503
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,053
I appreciate that gesture,
504
00:17:43,054 --> 00:17:44,487
and I know you're trying.
505
00:17:44,488 --> 00:17:48,525
The singing is the core problem
I'm having with you.
506
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,927
I know that I can be pretty irritating.
507
00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:52,996
Do you know that I had to leave Alaska
508
00:17:52,997 --> 00:17:55,098
because I was so annoying?
509
00:17:55,099 --> 00:17:59,169
They sent me into Canada on
a dog sled while I was asleep.
510
00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:02,439
I have not always been
this charismatic chick magnet
511
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,441
- that stands before you.
- Really?
512
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:05,542
You know what I've been called?
513
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,243
Annoying.
514
00:18:07,244 --> 00:18:08,712
They made a movie about me on Lifetime
515
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,780
called "Unbearable:
The Morgan Tookers Story."
516
00:18:10,781 --> 00:18:11,848
- Whoa.
- I've been called
517
00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:13,183
a lot of stuff: intolerable,
518
00:18:13,184 --> 00:18:14,784
bad storyteller,
519
00:18:14,785 --> 00:18:16,853
the worst thing ever
on the Lifetime network.
520
00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:21,324
My high school paid me $100 to
not go to my ten-year reunion.
521
00:18:21,325 --> 00:18:23,326
Maybe you and I have more
in common than I thought.
522
00:18:23,327 --> 00:18:25,195
And we've both been in Colette's pants.
523
00:18:25,196 --> 00:18:26,896
- Oh.
- I'm wearing them right now.
524
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,398
- Oh!
- Yeah. I spilled...
525
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,300
one of the Mexican corns on my pants.
526
00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:32,001
- Oh, yeah. Uh-oh.
- Yeah, I know.
527
00:18:32,002 --> 00:18:33,470
We got to make this work.
528
00:18:33,471 --> 00:18:36,473
Okay. I promise I'm gonna
be real normal from now on.
529
00:18:36,474 --> 00:18:37,841
You won't regret it.
530
00:18:37,842 --> 00:18:39,242
There you go.
531
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,846
How could I anger such a large man?
532
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:44,381
I'll give it back to you later on.
533
00:18:44,382 --> 00:18:45,615
Oh, okay.
534
00:18:45,616 --> 00:18:46,816
See you later.
535
00:18:46,817 --> 00:18:49,018
[crashing]
536
00:18:49,019 --> 00:18:50,087
Oh.
537
00:18:51,489 --> 00:18:52,889
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
538
00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:55,792
This is the downtown local.
539
00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:58,862
Station stop is 72nd Street.
540
00:18:58,863 --> 00:19:02,232
Stand clear
of the closing doors, please.
541
00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:05,236
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Jeremy.
542
00:19:08,372 --> 00:19:10,006
You know what? No.
543
00:19:10,007 --> 00:19:13,042
It's... it's not a good morning.
It's a bad morning!
544
00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:15,779
What you did yesterday was ungentlemanly
545
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:16,946
and unsportsmanlike,
546
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,416
and just... just really shitty.
547
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:22,385
I liked Anna, Jody. I really liked her.
548
00:19:22,386 --> 00:19:24,454
And I am sick of only being allowed
549
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,889
to date women that you've passed on.
550
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:28,124
Well, guess what.
From now on, I call dibs...
551
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,527
on everyone in this subway,
552
00:19:30,528 --> 00:19:32,595
everyone in the entire world.
553
00:19:32,596 --> 00:19:35,865
On... on... on that one.
And on that one there.
554
00:19:35,866 --> 00:19:37,467
And that Asian woman.
555
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:41,805
And on S. Epatha Merkerson
on that ad for "Chicago Med,"
556
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,339
which looks pretty good...
got to be honest.
557
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:45,408
And on her!
558
00:19:45,409 --> 00:19:46,810
I...
559
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,878
You know what? Good for you.
I was hoping this would happen.
560
00:19:48,879 --> 00:19:50,580
You've finally stood up for yourself.
561
00:19:50,581 --> 00:19:53,216
Now I can cancel my date
with Anna tonight.
562
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:54,717
- Really?
- You know this whole
563
00:19:54,718 --> 00:19:56,186
dating thing was just a trick
564
00:19:56,187 --> 00:19:57,821
to get you to stand up for yourself.
565
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,789
Oh, my God.
566
00:19:59,790 --> 00:20:01,391
She rejected you, didn't she?
567
00:20:01,392 --> 00:20:02,659
No, no. That is wrong.
568
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,895
I tricked her into thinking
she rejected me.
569
00:20:05,896 --> 00:20:07,764
She rejected you,
570
00:20:07,765 --> 00:20:10,133
and that must mean that she likes me.
571
00:20:10,134 --> 00:20:11,968
But only because I wanted it.
572
00:20:11,969 --> 00:20:14,737
Let's not forget I am
the victorious party here.
573
00:20:14,738 --> 00:20:18,842
She likes me. Whoo!
574
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,276
Aah!
575
00:20:20,277 --> 00:20:21,744
Good morning, Jeremy.
576
00:20:21,745 --> 00:20:23,580
I just wanted to thank you
for last night.
577
00:20:23,581 --> 00:20:25,715
I was so emotional
I snapped the handles off
578
00:20:25,716 --> 00:20:26,983
an elliptical machine.
579
00:20:26,984 --> 00:20:28,785
I don't know what I would have
done without you.
580
00:20:28,786 --> 00:20:31,088
Anna, you don't need to say any more.
581
00:20:34,124 --> 00:20:35,425
[sighs]
582
00:20:35,426 --> 00:20:37,260
I understand completely.
583
00:20:37,261 --> 00:20:39,329
And I feel the same way.
584
00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:41,264
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
585
00:20:41,265 --> 00:20:42,699
- Oh, my God.
- What are you doing?
586
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,234
I'm so sorry. It's just...
587
00:20:44,235 --> 00:20:46,669
you rejected Jody,
and I thought that maybe...
588
00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:47,871
Oh, for Christ's sake.
589
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:50,373
- Oh.
- Come with me.
590
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:51,975
Everyone,
591
00:20:51,976 --> 00:20:53,276
I have an announcement.
592
00:20:53,277 --> 00:20:55,178
I am currently going through a divorce.
593
00:20:55,179 --> 00:20:57,580
This is not easy for me as a WASP.
594
00:20:57,581 --> 00:21:00,216
I am not comfortable talking about love,
595
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,585
money, lawyers, hardship...
596
00:21:02,586 --> 00:21:05,088
basically anything besides the weather
597
00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:06,823
and a few select towns in Connecticut.
598
00:21:06,824 --> 00:21:07,824
But for the record,
599
00:21:07,825 --> 00:21:09,759
I did not leave my cheating husband
600
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,227
because I'm dying to date
601
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,197
one of the tiny number of men
in this office.
602
00:21:14,198 --> 00:21:15,498
I disagree.
603
00:21:15,499 --> 00:21:17,800
- I don't know your name.
- It's Morgan.
604
00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:19,569
Homegirl, there's no use
putting up a fight.
605
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,170
I gave the same exact speech,
606
00:21:21,171 --> 00:21:22,805
and then, against all laws of nature,
607
00:21:22,806 --> 00:21:24,841
ended up dating Morgan for two years.
608
00:21:24,842 --> 00:21:25,842
He was terrible.
609
00:21:25,843 --> 00:21:27,176
I disagree.
610
00:21:27,177 --> 00:21:29,345
There's something very wrong
with this office.
611
00:21:29,346 --> 00:21:30,747
We don't all have to date each other
612
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:33,016
just because we're in close
proximity to one another, okay?
613
00:21:33,017 --> 00:21:34,517
Normal offices don't work like that.
614
00:21:34,518 --> 00:21:37,654
So, please, don't hit on me
615
00:21:37,655 --> 00:21:39,355
and don't try to kiss me.
616
00:21:39,356 --> 00:21:42,425
I won't like it.
617
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,861
Thank you for your time.
618
00:21:44,862 --> 00:21:47,130
Hey, do you think that
applies to women too?
619
00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:48,831
- No, mm-mm.
- Wow.
620
00:21:48,832 --> 00:21:51,301
That was pretty embarrassing
for the pair of us.
621
00:21:51,302 --> 00:21:53,036
Let's never speak of it again.
622
00:21:53,037 --> 00:21:54,504
Drink the memories away in your office?
623
00:21:54,505 --> 00:21:56,239
Way ahead of you, brother.
624
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:57,607
[clears throat]
625
00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:59,143
[whistling]
626
00:22:04,014 --> 00:22:07,016
[light instrumental music]
627
00:22:07,017 --> 00:22:13,958
628
00:22:18,306 --> 00:22:23,306
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
629
00:22:23,701 --> 00:22:24,702
Go to bed.
630
00:22:24,752 --> 00:22:29,302
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