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1
00:00:01,239 --> 00:00:02,789
Previously on "The Mindy Project"...
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00:00:03,109 --> 00:00:04,789
I'm with Ben now, so I don't
have to think about
3
00:00:04,814 --> 00:00:06,406
these weirdos and losers ever again.
4
00:00:06,431 --> 00:00:08,398
Weirdos and losers? Which one am I?
5
00:00:08,423 --> 00:00:09,882
- Hi, Jamie.
- Are you seeing anyone?
6
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,858
His name is Ben, and he works as a...
7
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,580
we work at the hospital together.
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00:00:13,605 --> 00:00:15,856
You are such a good nurse.
I want other people to see that.
9
00:00:15,881 --> 00:00:16,989
- Where do you work, man?
- I'm a, uh...
10
00:00:17,014 --> 00:00:18,958
- He's a television personality.
- What's going on? What's wrong?
11
00:00:18,983 --> 00:00:21,656
We are going friggin' live on
"The Today Show," and I can't find Ben.
12
00:00:21,681 --> 00:00:24,134
- What should we drink to?
- Dumb boyfriends.
13
00:00:26,191 --> 00:00:27,725
All this time, you've been wondering
14
00:00:27,750 --> 00:00:28,750
if I'm good enough for you.
15
00:00:28,775 --> 00:00:30,769
But you know what, Mindy?
I don't think you're good enough for me.
16
00:00:30,879 --> 00:00:33,214
I'ma be your love
17
00:00:33,525 --> 00:00:34,825
[dramatic music]
18
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,828
[whimsical music]
19
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:44,469
20
00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:48,339
- [C.R. Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" ringtone]
-
Hey, I just met you
21
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,274
And this is crazy
22
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:52,043
But here's my number
23
00:00:52,044 --> 00:00:53,377
[splash]
24
00:00:53,378 --> 00:00:55,046
[sighs]
25
00:00:55,047 --> 00:00:57,915
Damn it, that's my
third phone this month.
26
00:00:57,916 --> 00:00:59,617
Ugh.
27
00:00:59,618 --> 00:01:03,421
28
00:01:03,422 --> 00:01:06,357
Oh, my God.
29
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,192
Speaking of month... Ugh.
30
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,595
I'm getting my monthly visit
from the Kool-Aid man.
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00:01:10,596 --> 00:01:13,030
Oh, yeah.
32
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,160
Ugh.
33
00:01:14,185 --> 00:01:16,701
Why do I keep using these
to clean my ears?
34
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,604
35
00:01:19,605 --> 00:01:22,785
Well, at least I know where my gun is.
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00:01:22,941 --> 00:01:24,876
I am an adult in my 30s.
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00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:25,977
Why can't I even remember
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00:01:25,978 --> 00:01:27,645
to steal bathroom stuff from work?
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00:01:27,646 --> 00:01:30,091
Oh, come on.
40
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:32,984
Wow, those super foods look disgusting.
41
00:01:32,985 --> 00:01:35,319
Why can't pizza be a super food?
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00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,022
Hot dog buns. Very absorbent.
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00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:39,925
Could I...
44
00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:41,359
no, no, no, no.
45
00:01:41,691 --> 00:01:43,461
Well, when it rains, it pours.
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00:01:43,462 --> 00:01:45,730
And in this case, man, is it pouring.
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00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:48,204
I'm on my period,
my son is with his father
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00:01:48,229 --> 00:01:49,500
at Colonial Williamsburg,
49
00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:52,803
and last week, my cool boyfriend
dumped me for kissing a guy.
50
00:01:52,804 --> 00:01:54,305
I didn't even touch his butt.
51
00:01:54,306 --> 00:01:56,207
Coming up later this Wednesday morning,
52
00:01:56,208 --> 00:01:59,243
a new study shows that
being single and over 30
53
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,383
can lead to adult acne.
54
00:02:01,408 --> 00:02:02,875
Come on.
55
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,618
It's 8:00 a.m., and this is
already the worst day ever.
56
00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:08,686
[hip-hop music]
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00:02:08,687 --> 00:02:15,627
58
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:21,807
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:23,368 --> 00:02:24,869
Although historically unpopular,
60
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:26,537
I've always liked this
particular mnemonic,
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00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:28,172
and I think you will, too.
62
00:02:28,173 --> 00:02:30,007
Clear the deck.
She's in her flow-veralls.
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00:02:30,008 --> 00:02:32,243
Thank you for joining us, Mindy.
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00:02:32,244 --> 00:02:33,656
Now, as you all know,
65
00:02:33,681 --> 00:02:35,942
this meeting is about
the critical subject of...
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00:02:36,035 --> 00:02:37,515
anyone?
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00:02:37,516 --> 00:02:39,383
Forceps hygiene.
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00:02:39,384 --> 00:02:41,285
Come on, guys, don't any of you
read your work emails?
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00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,720
I'm not allowed to have work email,
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00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:44,522
because all my online dating rejections
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00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:45,856
were slowing down the server.
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00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:47,592
Jeremy, can we get this moving?
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The quicker we can get through
this crappy presentation,
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00:02:49,428 --> 00:02:51,128
the sooner we can get on
with our crappy days.
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00:02:51,153 --> 00:02:55,472
Very well. Today, we'll be focusing
on the ABCDEs of forceps maintenance.
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00:02:55,497 --> 00:02:57,635
- [sneezes]
- Oh, God!
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00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:01,105
Colette, you sneezed on me. Gross.
78
00:03:01,106 --> 00:03:03,441
Sorry, my handkerchief's
at the dry cleaners,
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00:03:03,442 --> 00:03:05,910
and Anna's too beautiful to muss.
80
00:03:05,911 --> 00:03:07,979
Oh, Collette, you're a dear.
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00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,748
Ow! Beverly, you stabbed me!
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00:03:10,749 --> 00:03:14,051
Relax, this is my fruit knife,
not my people knife.
83
00:03:14,052 --> 00:03:16,220
Oh, yeah, Dr. L, we're
ordering Chinese for lunch.
84
00:03:16,221 --> 00:03:17,455
You want to just get your usual,
85
00:03:17,456 --> 00:03:19,323
the Imperial Family Style Banquet?
86
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,392
No, Tamra, I just want, I don't know,
87
00:03:21,393 --> 00:03:22,927
boiled chicken and water
chestnuts, please.
88
00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:24,462
Well, that's a skinny person's lunch.
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00:03:24,463 --> 00:03:26,497
Are you trying to lose weight?
90
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,832
Oh, my God.
91
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,166
Ben dumped you.
92
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,102
[gasps] What?
93
00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:33,337
- No...
- Yes, Ben dumped me.
94
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,558
And for what? For kissing another guy?
95
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:36,641
It's ridiculous.
96
00:03:36,642 --> 00:03:37,853
Hollywood celebrities
do that all the time,
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00:03:37,878 --> 00:03:39,443
and their relationships are great.
98
00:03:39,444 --> 00:03:41,612
Would it help if he
kissed another woman?
99
00:03:41,613 --> 00:03:42,947
I've seen the way he looks at me.
100
00:03:42,948 --> 00:03:44,749
- Okay.
- What were you thinking?
101
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,917
This is your last, desperate
chance at a happy ending.
102
00:03:46,918 --> 00:03:48,586
You've squandered it, you fool.
103
00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:49,687
I don't get what the big deal is.
104
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,155
Why is Ben so great?
105
00:03:51,156 --> 00:03:52,757
Well, he's handsome, intelligent,
106
00:03:52,758 --> 00:03:54,492
treated you well, and he's Jewish,
107
00:03:54,493 --> 00:03:56,994
which has certain
socioeconomic advantages.
108
00:03:56,995 --> 00:04:00,031
Okay, Anna, thank you
for your incisive commentary.
109
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,432
You know what? I'm out of here.
110
00:04:01,433 --> 00:04:02,667
I don't have to deal with this anymore.
111
00:04:02,668 --> 00:04:04,201
Don't go.
112
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,703
Yup, flow-veralls.
113
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,506
This is gonna be a rough 5 to 14 days.
114
00:04:08,507 --> 00:04:11,142
115
00:04:11,143 --> 00:04:12,610
Hey, do you want to trade lunches?
116
00:04:12,611 --> 00:04:16,380
Yes, I have a ham and cheese sandwich
from the vending machine.
117
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,215
Technically, it's from
under the vending machine.
118
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,051
Okay, just... just take it.
119
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,052
Thank you.
120
00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:22,720
You are too kind to me.
121
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:23,888
I don't know what Ben was thinking.
122
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,222
He was probably thinking,
123
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,058
"Why is that ho making out
with another guy?"
124
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,793
But for the record,
Ben isn't so perfect himself.
125
00:04:28,794 --> 00:04:30,194
- Mm-mm.
- Okay?
126
00:04:30,195 --> 00:04:32,063
Too much product in his hair,
loves comic books,
127
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,097
and he enjoyed foreplay.
128
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:34,598
Yeah, what does he have going for him
129
00:04:34,599 --> 00:04:36,701
besides his good looks and
the fact that he's nice to you?
130
00:04:36,702 --> 00:04:39,036
- Nothing.
- [pager beeping]
131
00:04:39,037 --> 00:04:42,006
Oh, man, the Petersons,
only my least favorite patients.
132
00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:45,009
Oh, God, are they the ones that don't
trust a woman to do the sonogram?
133
00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:46,544
At least this is literally the last time
134
00:04:46,545 --> 00:04:47,878
I ever have to see them.
135
00:04:47,879 --> 00:04:49,680
Oh, God, it's all fat.
136
00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:51,315
137
00:04:51,316 --> 00:04:53,751
Ugh, I'm better off with the sandwich.
138
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,553
139
00:04:55,554 --> 00:04:57,355
Congratulations, Mrs. Peterson.
140
00:04:57,356 --> 00:05:00,191
You are the mother of a beautiful,
seven-pound baby girl.
141
00:05:00,192 --> 00:05:01,892
She doesn't feel like seven pounds.
142
00:05:01,893 --> 00:05:04,161
I know that trick.
That's what they do at the deli.
143
00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:05,396
And why's her face red?
144
00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:06,697
What'd you do?
145
00:05:06,698 --> 00:05:08,499
Well, she is healthy.
146
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:11,102
She has ten fingers, ten toes,
one set of genitals.
147
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,370
Nice knowing ya.
148
00:05:12,371 --> 00:05:15,373
[whimsical music]
149
00:05:15,374 --> 00:05:17,274
150
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,943
[sighs] Of course.
151
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:20,211
Perfect.
152
00:05:20,212 --> 00:05:21,278
Hey, Ben.
153
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,881
Just please feel free to ignore me.
154
00:05:23,882 --> 00:05:26,617
155
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,018
After you.
156
00:05:28,019 --> 00:05:30,054
I'm sure you have
important places to be,
157
00:05:30,055 --> 00:05:31,288
people to kiss.
158
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,556
Look, I am really sorry,
159
00:05:32,557 --> 00:05:33,758
and I almost never say that.
160
00:05:33,759 --> 00:05:35,359
And when I do say that, I never mean it.
161
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,261
- But this time, I...
- You know what, Mindy?
162
00:05:37,262 --> 00:05:38,597
Save it.
163
00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:42,066
Have a nice day.
164
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:45,803
165
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,538
Hey, Leo, I hope you're having fun
166
00:05:47,539 --> 00:05:49,373
in Colonial Williamsburg.
167
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:51,642
It's so nice that you do
such nerdy stuff with your dad.
168
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,577
You're a good kid. I miss you, babe.
169
00:05:53,578 --> 00:05:55,446
Bye.
170
00:05:55,447 --> 00:05:58,616
Well, today couldn't have been
worse, but it's over. [sighs]
171
00:05:58,617 --> 00:06:00,284
Tomorrow, my outlook will be brighter,
172
00:06:00,285 --> 00:06:02,453
and my flow will be lighter.
173
00:06:02,454 --> 00:06:03,454
[sighs]
174
00:06:03,455 --> 00:06:08,635
175
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,660
[phone buzzes]
176
00:06:09,685 --> 00:06:11,729
Hey, I just met you
177
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,431
And this is crazy
178
00:06:13,432 --> 00:06:14,899
But here's my number
179
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:15,900
[splash]
180
00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:17,568
Oh, come on.
181
00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:19,637
I could've sworn I threw this cup away.
182
00:06:19,638 --> 00:06:21,138
Hmm. [groans]
183
00:06:21,139 --> 00:06:22,673
Oh, right, my period.
184
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,409
Well, at least today I'm prepared.
185
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:26,944
Huh.
186
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:29,146
But I bought a new box
of tampons last night.
187
00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:31,549
[gasps] Did a very weird burglar come?
188
00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,083
189
00:06:33,084 --> 00:06:34,752
Maybe I just need to eat something.
190
00:06:34,753 --> 00:06:37,521
191
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,923
The milk's finished?
192
00:06:38,924 --> 00:06:40,791
Have I been sleep-chugging again?
193
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:43,794
194
00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:45,529
Coming up later this Wednesday morning,
195
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,699
a new study shows that
being single and over 30
196
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,001
can lead to adult acne.
197
00:06:51,002 --> 00:06:52,403
Wednesday?
198
00:06:52,404 --> 00:06:53,738
What the hell?
199
00:06:57,338 --> 00:06:58,775
I've checked every calendar I own,
200
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,011
and they all say that today
is Wednesday again.
201
00:07:01,012 --> 00:07:02,446
Did I sleep through a whole week?
202
00:07:02,447 --> 00:07:05,396
Like after I won that
pancake-eating contest?
203
00:07:06,017 --> 00:07:07,685
Although historically unpopular,
204
00:07:07,686 --> 00:07:10,387
I particularly like this mnemonic,
and I think you will, too.
205
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,556
Clear the deck.
She's in her flow-veralls.
206
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,391
Thank you for joining us, Mindy.
207
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,360
As you all know, this meeting
208
00:07:16,361 --> 00:07:18,963
is about the critical
subject of... anyone?
209
00:07:18,964 --> 00:07:20,998
- Forceps hygiene?
- Nerd alert.
210
00:07:20,999 --> 00:07:23,033
Someone checks their work emails.
211
00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:24,952
From now on, I'll be sending
you twice as many.
212
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:26,237
[sneezes]
213
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,672
I'm sorry, my handkerchief's
at the dry cleaners.
214
00:07:28,673 --> 00:07:30,040
And Anna's too beautiful to muss.
215
00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:31,842
Please don't objectify me.
216
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:34,879
Ow! Beverly, keep your fruit
knife in your knife drawer.
217
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,814
I can't, it's full of bullets.
218
00:07:36,815 --> 00:07:38,482
Hey, hey, can I talk
to you for a second?
219
00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:39,750
Yeah. Everyone out.
220
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,185
No, this is a meeting.
221
00:07:41,186 --> 00:07:42,953
Okay, let's go. Let's go.
222
00:07:42,954 --> 00:07:46,056
Morgan, I know this is gonna
make me sound nuts,
223
00:07:46,057 --> 00:07:48,058
but I woke up this morning,
and today has played out
224
00:07:48,059 --> 00:07:49,693
exactly like yesterday.
225
00:07:49,694 --> 00:07:52,530
I think I'm living some kind
of, like, "Groundhog Day."
226
00:07:52,531 --> 00:07:54,292
Okay, I got it. How can I help?
227
00:07:54,317 --> 00:07:55,660
Got it?
228
00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:57,267
What I just told you
was completely crazy.
229
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,036
Yeah, you know what?
The universe is a crazy place.
230
00:07:59,037 --> 00:08:00,671
Do you know in Canada,
231
00:08:00,672 --> 00:08:03,307
they drive on the exact same
side of the road as we do?
232
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:06,210
Okay, I really thought that you
would think this is a bigger deal.
233
00:08:06,211 --> 00:08:09,313
I don't know, if you were
in a "Freaky Friday"
234
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:10,981
or it was, like,
a "Shaggy Dog" situation,
235
00:08:10,982 --> 00:08:12,216
then I'd be like, "Oh, my God."
236
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:13,651
Well, why is this happening to me?
237
00:08:13,652 --> 00:08:15,352
Wait, what's the point
of "Groundhog Day"?
238
00:08:15,353 --> 00:08:16,820
The point of "Shaggy Dog" is
239
00:08:16,821 --> 00:08:18,122
the guy from "Home Improvement"...
240
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,457
[snapping fingers]
241
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,725
What's his name from "Home Improvement"?
242
00:08:21,726 --> 00:08:23,460
- Ray Romano.
- No, no!
243
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,396
Aw, come on, it's on
the tip of my tongue.
244
00:08:25,397 --> 00:08:27,231
- [pager beeping]
- I'm gonna Google it.
245
00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:29,233
It... it... it's like a Tom.
246
00:08:29,234 --> 00:08:30,701
Tommy...
247
00:08:30,702 --> 00:08:31,902
Tim Allen!
248
00:08:31,903 --> 00:08:32,903
249
00:08:32,904 --> 00:08:34,038
Where'd she go?
250
00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:35,739
Congratulations, Mrs. Peterson
251
00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,875
on another baby girl.
252
00:08:37,876 --> 00:08:39,677
Oh, it's just another baby girl?
253
00:08:39,678 --> 00:08:41,412
I'm sorry the birth of our
firstborn child
254
00:08:41,413 --> 00:08:42,680
isn't exciting for you.
255
00:08:42,681 --> 00:08:44,048
Oh, no, it's just that
256
00:08:44,049 --> 00:08:46,483
this very same thing happened yesterday.
257
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,719
We get it. You deliver babies every day.
258
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,155
I'm sorry.
Baby Charlotte is so beautiful.
259
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,090
We wanted to be the ones
to tell her her name.
260
00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:54,358
How did you even know that?
261
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,393
Did his mother tell you the name?
262
00:08:56,394 --> 00:08:57,928
- No.
- So what if she did?
263
00:08:57,929 --> 00:08:59,697
- God.
- It's not a secret or anything.
264
00:08:59,698 --> 00:09:01,031
Why did I even tell you?
265
00:09:01,032 --> 00:09:02,733
266
00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:03,734
Oh, God.
267
00:09:03,735 --> 00:09:04,735
This again?
268
00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:06,503
No, no, no, no, no.
269
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,839
You don't get to be the one
that's annoyed to see me.
270
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,009
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm... I'm just
having crazy d?j? vu.
271
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,343
You're having d?j? vu?
272
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,079
Are you about to make out
with another dude
273
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,547
right in front of me?
274
00:09:16,548 --> 00:09:17,948
Okay. Solid burn.
275
00:09:17,949 --> 00:09:20,017
276
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,752
Okay, so today did bear
277
00:09:21,753 --> 00:09:24,021
some striking similarities to yesterday.
278
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,090
[sighs] But I think it's justa coincidence,
279
00:09:26,091 --> 00:09:28,726
like how my pants always shrink
after the holidays.
280
00:09:28,727 --> 00:09:31,261
Tomorrow will be Thursday,
and I will look back on this
281
00:09:31,262 --> 00:09:34,165
as a wacky blip in an otherwise
sexy and fulfilling life.
282
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:41,281
Hey, I just met you
and this is crazy
283
00:09:41,306 --> 00:09:42,773
But here...
284
00:09:42,774 --> 00:09:44,575
Oh, no.
285
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,019
Ahhh!
286
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,812
I particularly like this mnemonic,
and I think you will, too.
287
00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:49,965
Clear the deck, she's in her flow...
288
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,207
[screams]
289
00:09:51,232 --> 00:09:54,384
[whimsical music]
290
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,385
[screams]
291
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,922
292
00:09:58,923 --> 00:10:00,091
[screams]
293
00:10:01,159 --> 00:10:05,796
294
00:10:05,797 --> 00:10:08,499
All right, God. Very funny.
You are hilarious.
295
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,334
You're, like, straight-up George
Clooney with these pranks.
296
00:10:10,335 --> 00:10:12,970
But I need for tomorrow to be Thursday.
297
00:10:12,971 --> 00:10:14,271
Not like last Thursday
298
00:10:14,272 --> 00:10:16,106
or the Thursday before JFK was shot.
299
00:10:16,107 --> 00:10:18,809
Like, regular, tomorrow Thursday.
300
00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:20,077
Amen.
301
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:23,547
[tense music]
302
00:10:23,548 --> 00:10:24,848
Damn it!
303
00:10:24,849 --> 00:10:26,283
- And I think you will, too.
- Oh, clear the deck!
304
00:10:26,284 --> 00:10:28,719
- She's in her flow-veralls!
- Aw, damn it.
305
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:29,953
306
00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:30,988
Aw, son of a bitch.
307
00:10:30,989 --> 00:10:32,289
308
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:34,491
[sighs] Mother...
309
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,927
Hey, man, I know you are mad at me,
310
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:39,163
but I cannot live Wednesday anymore.
311
00:10:39,164 --> 00:10:41,632
Please let me wake up tomorrow
and have it be Thursday.
312
00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:42,633
Amen.
313
00:10:45,069 --> 00:10:46,136
Hey, I just met...
314
00:10:46,137 --> 00:10:49,006
- [splash]
- Oh, come on, man.
315
00:10:49,007 --> 00:10:50,474
Morgan, I need to talk to you.
316
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:53,610
I am living the same day over and
over again like a "Groundhog Day."
317
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,112
Okay, I'm in. How can I help?
318
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,880
- [claps hands]
- Why is this happening to me?
319
00:10:56,881 --> 00:10:58,982
Is it because I broke that
spooky clock in Jody's office?
320
00:10:58,983 --> 00:11:00,684
Maybe it's the universe telling you
321
00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:03,387
you need to learn something or...
or do something different.
322
00:11:03,388 --> 00:11:05,889
Aw, no, I have to be a better person?
323
00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:07,224
I can't donate my blood.
324
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:08,659
They said it was too chunky.
325
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:10,360
If could live the same day
over and over again,
326
00:11:10,361 --> 00:11:12,462
it would be the day Grandmother
fell down the stairs,
327
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,532
'cause I met Paul Giamatti
at the hospital.
328
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:16,834
I think it was him.
329
00:11:16,835 --> 00:11:19,369
Okay, that story sucked,
but point taken.
330
00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:21,016
I should be doing whatever I want.
331
00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:22,339
- Yes.
- I should be having fun
332
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:23,889
with no consequences.
333
00:11:23,914 --> 00:11:25,008
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks, Morgan.
334
00:11:25,009 --> 00:11:26,476
But there's no consequences,
so I could...
335
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,544
I could... I could come with?
336
00:11:27,545 --> 00:11:28,679
Oh, I'm gonna go by myself.
337
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,347
I just... I want to have fun, so...
338
00:11:30,348 --> 00:11:31,982
I hear you, boss.
339
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,184
Hey, I just met you
340
00:11:34,185 --> 00:11:36,653
-
And this is crazy
- Gotcha.
341
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:37,721
[The Runaways' "Cherry Bomb" playing]
342
00:11:37,722 --> 00:11:40,424
I particularly like this mnemonic,
and I think you will, too.
343
00:11:40,425 --> 00:11:42,893
Damn, Dr. L, we got
a pimp comin' through!
344
00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:44,428
Thank you for joining us, Mindy.
345
00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:45,829
Now, does anyone know...
346
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,431
The ABCDEs of forceps hygiene?
347
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:49,533
Acceptance, bacteria, centrifuge,
348
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,034
disinfectant, every day.
349
00:11:51,035 --> 00:11:52,269
Someone listened.
350
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:53,804
Ah... ah... choo!
351
00:11:53,805 --> 00:11:55,906
I'm the fox you've been waiting for
352
00:11:55,907 --> 00:11:57,007
Thanks, Dr. L.
353
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,442
Hey, you need to watch this knife.
354
00:11:58,443 --> 00:12:00,277
You're right, I do.
355
00:12:00,278 --> 00:12:01,657
Okay, well, this meeting sucks.
356
00:12:01,682 --> 00:12:02,697
- I'm out of here.
-
Cherry bomb
357
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,381
Tamra, I'll get the crab rangoon.
358
00:12:04,382 --> 00:12:06,963
- You know what? Two orders.
-
I'm your wild girl
359
00:12:07,218 --> 00:12:09,353
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
360
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,054
Cherry bomb
361
00:12:11,055 --> 00:12:14,658
Stone age love
and strange sounds too
362
00:12:14,659 --> 00:12:16,627
Come on, baby, let me get to you
363
00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:18,362
Hey, guys. [exclaims]
364
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,563
Whoa!
365
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,765
Bad nights causing teenage blues
366
00:12:21,766 --> 00:12:24,434
Get down, ladies,
you've got nothing to lose
367
00:12:24,435 --> 00:12:25,636
Oh, God.
368
00:12:25,637 --> 00:12:28,071
Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom
369
00:12:28,072 --> 00:12:30,307
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
370
00:12:30,308 --> 00:12:32,042
Cherry bomb
371
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,477
Hello, world, I'm your wild girl
372
00:12:33,478 --> 00:12:35,212
[glass shattering]
373
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,414
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
374
00:12:37,415 --> 00:12:38,749
Cherry bomb
375
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:44,239
376
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,473
_
377
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:47,925
[moaning]
378
00:12:47,926 --> 00:12:52,963
379
00:12:52,964 --> 00:12:55,799
Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom
380
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,100
Hi.
381
00:12:57,101 --> 00:12:58,402
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
382
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,137
Cherry bomb
383
00:13:00,138 --> 00:13:03,240
Hello, world, I'm your wild girl
384
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,475
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
385
00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:06,810
Cherry bomb
386
00:13:06,811 --> 00:13:08,045
-
Cherry bomb
- Yes!
387
00:13:08,046 --> 00:13:09,313
Yes!
388
00:13:09,314 --> 00:13:11,815
But even with all
the fun I was having...
389
00:13:11,816 --> 00:13:13,250
[whimsical music]
390
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,519
Something would always pull me back
391
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,854
into the sadness of my real life.
392
00:13:17,855 --> 00:13:20,157
[downbeat music]
393
00:13:20,158 --> 00:13:22,459
Morgan, I'm living the same day
over and over again.
394
00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:24,194
- Yadda, yadda, yadda.
- Got it, I'm in.
395
00:13:24,195 --> 00:13:26,663
- How's it going?
- It's weird.
396
00:13:26,664 --> 00:13:28,699
I have done everything I've ever wanted.
397
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,667
I've been to every
McDonald's in Manhattan.
398
00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:33,003
I beat "Candy Crush."
I even went to Brooklyn.
399
00:13:33,004 --> 00:13:35,305
But it all just feels so unfulfilling.
400
00:13:35,306 --> 00:13:37,107
Okay, how many days
has this been going on?
401
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:40,277
I've lost track, and honestly,
I am getting really bored.
402
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,478
- [sighs]
- I've been on my period
403
00:13:41,479 --> 00:13:43,313
for weeks, and I really miss Leo.
404
00:13:43,314 --> 00:13:44,681
Have you considered that
this is all happening
405
00:13:44,682 --> 00:13:47,150
so you can back together with Ben?
406
00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:48,185
Whoa.
407
00:13:48,186 --> 00:13:50,120
[explosive noise]
408
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,154
Whoa. Maybe you're right.
409
00:13:51,155 --> 00:13:52,689
But how would I even do that?
410
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:54,324
You know, the only thing
that's stayed consistent
411
00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:55,792
every single day is that Ben hates me.
412
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,461
Yep, but it's worth a shot.
413
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,396
You go for coffee,
and if it doesn't work out,
414
00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:01,164
you can always have sex with me.
415
00:14:01,165 --> 00:14:02,632
- Ugh.
- Okay, okay.
416
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,134
[whimsical music]
417
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,235
Ben, Ben, hey.
418
00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:06,536
I need to talk to you.
419
00:14:06,537 --> 00:14:07,537
What do you want, Mindy?
420
00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:08,839
I am really sorry about that kiss,
421
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,907
and I would love to get
a cup of coffee with you.
422
00:14:10,908 --> 00:14:12,309
No, sorry. Not interested.
423
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,479
Well, I've been acting
really crazy since we broke up,
424
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,547
and I don't know what I might do.
425
00:14:17,548 --> 00:14:18,949
Well, you might get a cavity.
426
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:21,084
That's candy.
427
00:14:21,085 --> 00:14:22,085
Dang it.
428
00:14:22,086 --> 00:14:24,021
429
00:14:24,022 --> 00:14:27,024
What the hell? Are you insane?
430
00:14:27,025 --> 00:14:28,558
Now you have to get coffee with me,
431
00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:30,327
whether you like it or not.
432
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:34,031
Hey, remember when you teased
me about my love of magic?
433
00:14:34,032 --> 00:14:35,532
Aw, I loved it.
434
00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:38,368
It was so fun making fun
of what a dork you are.
435
00:14:38,369 --> 00:14:40,203
I'll see you around.
436
00:14:40,204 --> 00:14:42,172
Hey, how'd you do that?
437
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,874
I knew I should've just Tased him.
438
00:14:43,875 --> 00:14:45,342
439
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,877
Ben, Ben, hey.
440
00:14:46,878 --> 00:14:48,178
I need to talk to you.
441
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,479
I'm dying.
442
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,882
Oh, my God. What is it?
443
00:14:51,883 --> 00:14:53,250
I can't talk about it here.
444
00:14:53,251 --> 00:14:55,285
This isn't the right place
to talk about illness.
445
00:14:55,286 --> 00:14:56,586
A hospital?
446
00:14:56,587 --> 00:14:58,221
Can we just go get a cup
of coffee or something?
447
00:14:58,222 --> 00:14:59,389
- Oh, yeah, of course.
- Just talk?
448
00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:00,490
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
449
00:15:00,491 --> 00:15:01,491
Yeah.
450
00:15:01,492 --> 00:15:02,692
You're so sweet.
451
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,693
Anything.
452
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,028
[bright music]
453
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,630
I love the bathroom here.
454
00:15:06,631 --> 00:15:08,198
It has a really powerful toilet.
455
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,433
And isn't this place cute?
456
00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:10,934
It used to be CBGB's.
457
00:15:10,935 --> 00:15:12,636
Oh, cool story. But you're dying?
458
00:15:12,637 --> 00:15:13,970
What's going on?
459
00:15:13,971 --> 00:15:16,106
Oh, that.
Yeah, no, I feel so much better.
460
00:15:16,107 --> 00:15:17,974
Just... I think I needed some fresh air.
461
00:15:17,975 --> 00:15:19,376
Are you dying or not?
462
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,878
I am not dying medically,
463
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,748
but I am dying to tell you
that I made a mistake.
464
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,883
You are unbelievable.
465
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,718
This is classic Mindy.
466
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,454
- Thank you.
- Not a compliment.
467
00:15:30,455 --> 00:15:32,289
It's always about what you want.
468
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:34,124
- You don't care how you get it.
- Damn it.
469
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:36,093
Look, the truth is, I was
thinking about breaking up
470
00:15:36,094 --> 00:15:37,494
with you even before you cheated.
471
00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:38,995
Is it because I burp during sex?
472
00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:41,298
In some cultures, that is
considered a compliment.
473
00:15:41,299 --> 00:15:43,266
It's because you're
incredibly self-centered.
474
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,735
We had a completely
one-sided relationship.
475
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,437
You never asked me
anything about myself.
476
00:15:47,438 --> 00:15:48,805
That is not true.
477
00:15:48,806 --> 00:15:51,074
I asked you if you liked
my outfit constantly.
478
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,609
Do you know my mom's name?
479
00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:54,144
What's my favorite movie?
480
00:15:54,145 --> 00:15:55,745
Sonu?
481
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,848
"When Harry Met Sally"?
482
00:15:57,849 --> 00:15:59,583
I've got a plane to catch.
483
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:02,419
Lindsay's afraid of flying.
484
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,621
We're gonna go meet
her mom in St. Louis.
485
00:16:04,622 --> 00:16:06,189
Patricia and I have been talking again.
486
00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:07,657
I guess we're gonna see where it goes.
487
00:16:07,658 --> 00:16:09,359
Wait, Ben, please don't go.
488
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,295
Thanks for making me feel
better about my decision.
489
00:16:12,296 --> 00:16:13,430
[groans]
490
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,798
Son of a bitch.
491
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,833
[phone buzzing]
492
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:19,669
FYI, day-old muffins are usually
in the dumpster out back.
493
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:20,872
Ugh!
494
00:16:26,477 --> 00:16:28,812
[dramatic music]
495
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,685
- Morgan?
- Are you having a "Groundhog Day"?
496
00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:32,682
Yes. How did you know?
497
00:16:32,683 --> 00:16:34,117
'Cause you finished a crossword puzzle,
498
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,319
and I saw you dunk.
499
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,522
- How's it going?
- Not great.
500
00:16:38,523 --> 00:16:40,657
I finally got Ben to go out
for coffee with me,
501
00:16:40,658 --> 00:16:42,225
and he said I was self-centered.
502
00:16:42,226 --> 00:16:44,528
And then he left to fly off
and get together with his ex.
503
00:16:44,529 --> 00:16:45,896
No, no, no. You are not self-centered.
504
00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:47,497
Do you remember on my birthday...
505
00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:49,132
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
We're talking about me.
506
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,400
Maybe the point of this time loop
507
00:16:50,401 --> 00:16:51,968
wasn't to get back together with Ben.
508
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,171
Maybe it was to finally
find a bra that fits.
509
00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:56,006
Well, why don't you just
go to coffee with Ben
510
00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:58,475
again tomorrow and be a better listener?
511
00:16:58,476 --> 00:16:59,943
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
512
00:16:59,944 --> 00:17:01,511
If Ben thinks I'm a bad listener,
513
00:17:01,512 --> 00:17:02,712
I have all the Wednesdays in the world
514
00:17:02,713 --> 00:17:04,147
to listen to the crap out of him.
515
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,549
Uh-huh, and maybe one of those days,
516
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:06,850
he won't want to get on that plane.
517
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:08,251
Morgan, you're a genius.
518
00:17:08,252 --> 00:17:09,110
- Really?
- Yeah.
519
00:17:09,135 --> 00:17:10,055
And I can say that to you
520
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,250
because you're not
gonna remember tomorrow.
521
00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:13,223
- Remember what?
- Okay.
522
00:17:13,224 --> 00:17:15,659
Hey, Ben, can I talk
to you for a second?
523
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,294
- It's important.
- I don't know, Mindy.
524
00:17:17,295 --> 00:17:18,695
I'm kind of in a rush.
525
00:17:18,696 --> 00:17:20,897
Look, I know that part of
the reason that we broke up
526
00:17:20,898 --> 00:17:23,400
is that I can be a little self-involved,
527
00:17:23,401 --> 00:17:26,169
and I don't always ask
enough questions of my partner.
528
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,071
Can I just take you out to coffee?
529
00:17:28,072 --> 00:17:29,607
Just to say that I'm sorry?
530
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,609
531
00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:33,877
Okay.
532
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:36,046
But the first thing you should know is
533
00:17:36,047 --> 00:17:37,581
I don't drink coffee.
534
00:17:37,582 --> 00:17:40,784
[bright music]
535
00:17:40,785 --> 00:17:43,587
So your mom converted to Judaism,
536
00:17:43,588 --> 00:17:45,622
but then she was the one
that took it more seriously.
537
00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:48,525
Yeah, when I was a kid,
she made us go on a vacation
538
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,060
to Argentina to hunt for Nazis.
539
00:17:50,061 --> 00:17:51,561
I actually caught one.
540
00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:53,296
Which is where you learned Spanish.
541
00:17:53,297 --> 00:17:54,864
S?.
542
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,366
And your favorite TV show
is "Star Trek,"
543
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,567
but not the super old one,
544
00:17:57,568 --> 00:17:59,102
the one with the bald Captain Kirk
545
00:17:59,103 --> 00:18:00,804
and with the guy from "Reading Rainbow."
546
00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:02,138
"Star Trek: The Next Generation."
547
00:18:02,139 --> 00:18:03,640
Yeah.
548
00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:06,710
Hey, I appreciate you taking
such an interest in me,
549
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,479
but this feels less like getting yogurt
550
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,448
and more like getting profiled
by "The New Yorker."
551
00:18:11,449 --> 00:18:13,783
I recently had time to read
every issue of that magazine.
552
00:18:13,784 --> 00:18:15,385
I'm not a fan.
553
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,554
Well, this was pretty fun,
but I got to catch a flight.
554
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,956
Okay, see you tomorrow.
555
00:18:19,957 --> 00:18:21,891
- What?
- Um, nothing.
556
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,560
- Have a safe flight.
- All right.
557
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,161
See you.
558
00:18:25,162 --> 00:18:30,900
559
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,569
Beverly, clear my morning.
560
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,271
I'm going to nerd college.
561
00:18:34,272 --> 00:18:36,673
Great, you'll be valedictorian.
562
00:18:36,674 --> 00:18:37,674
[scoffs]
563
00:18:37,675 --> 00:18:40,677
[lightsaber effects]
564
00:18:40,678 --> 00:18:43,046
565
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:44,663
Oh, gosh.
566
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,018
Oh, Batman's hot.
567
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:51,254
This Bruce Wayne guy isn't bad, either.
568
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,489
Hey, Ben.
569
00:18:52,490 --> 00:18:55,458
570
00:18:55,459 --> 00:18:58,461
Remember your faithful sidekick... me?
571
00:18:58,462 --> 00:18:59,963
Why are you dressed like Robin?
572
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:02,098
I actually tried on a Catwoman
costume and it ruptured,
573
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,967
but I think this is pretty cool.
574
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:07,270
I'm thinking of wearing it
to Comic-Convention.
575
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,338
Do you like it?
576
00:19:08,339 --> 00:19:10,006
I'm actually more of a Marvel guy.
577
00:19:10,007 --> 00:19:11,808
Heh? Who Marvel?
578
00:19:11,809 --> 00:19:12,809
Hey, Ben.
579
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:15,145
580
00:19:15,146 --> 00:19:16,646
Why are you dressed like Storm?
581
00:19:16,647 --> 00:19:18,848
Oh, I forgot I was dressed as Storm.
582
00:19:18,849 --> 00:19:20,116
Do you like the X-Men now?
583
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,384
[laughing]
584
00:19:21,385 --> 00:19:23,486
Does Wolverine have a crush
on Jean Grey?
585
00:19:23,487 --> 00:19:26,056
Yeah, actually. Well, in the movies.
586
00:19:26,057 --> 00:19:28,858
But in the comics, it's complicated.
587
00:19:28,859 --> 00:19:31,027
That is so interesting.
588
00:19:31,028 --> 00:19:33,463
Where was this outfit
when we were dating?
589
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:36,466
Oh, I'm kind of low-key about
my love of the Marvel universe.
590
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,469
[lightsaber effects]
591
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:42,138
592
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,474
[metal clanging]
593
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:47,043
Mmm, chocolate chip banana bread.
594
00:19:47,044 --> 00:19:48,978
This is exactly like my mom's.
595
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,514
She wouldn't give the recipe
away for $1 million.
596
00:19:51,515 --> 00:19:52,982
$35,000, actually.
597
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:56,319
[both laughing]
598
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,587
Firing phasers.
599
00:19:57,588 --> 00:19:58,588
Making shields.
600
00:19:58,589 --> 00:20:00,056
This show is so good,
601
00:20:00,057 --> 00:20:01,858
and it raises a lot of moral questions,
602
00:20:01,859 --> 00:20:03,393
like, if Data is a robot,
603
00:20:03,394 --> 00:20:04,427
does he have a penis?
604
00:20:04,428 --> 00:20:05,662
[laser whirring]
605
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:06,863
[explosion]
606
00:20:06,864 --> 00:20:09,332
What? Picard is so much
better than Captain Kirk.
607
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,767
Are you kidding me?
608
00:20:10,768 --> 00:20:13,903
Captain Kirk had to do all the
same stuff with older technology,
609
00:20:13,904 --> 00:20:15,538
had to wear that ugly,
mustard-colored shirt,
610
00:20:15,539 --> 00:20:16,906
and he had to use a flip phone.
611
00:20:16,907 --> 00:20:19,376
Okay, you do make some
compelling arguments.
612
00:20:19,377 --> 00:20:20,710
But I will never agree with you
613
00:20:20,711 --> 00:20:23,213
that the best James Bond
is Austin Powers.
614
00:20:23,214 --> 00:20:25,448
[in British accent] Yeah, baby.
Do I make you horny?
615
00:20:25,449 --> 00:20:29,052
[laughs] How did we never find any of
this stuff out when we were dating?
616
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:31,622
Maybe because I never
asked you enough questions.
617
00:20:33,257 --> 00:20:35,258
Oh, it is almost 5:00.
618
00:20:35,259 --> 00:20:37,727
You better leave, otherwise
you're gonna miss your flight.
619
00:20:37,728 --> 00:20:39,262
Unless you want to stay.
620
00:20:39,263 --> 00:20:41,231
Yeah, I kind of wish I could stay, too.
621
00:20:41,232 --> 00:20:42,499
No, you should go.
622
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,601
You don't want Lindsay
to have to fly alone.
623
00:20:44,602 --> 00:20:46,369
Yeah.
624
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,571
Thanks.
625
00:20:48,572 --> 00:20:51,741
Maybe I'll see you around the hospital
when I get back.
626
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,410
- Bye.
- Bye.
627
00:20:53,411 --> 00:20:57,046
628
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,047
[sighs]
629
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:01,885
630
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,487
Morgan, Ben and I had
such a good day today.
631
00:21:04,488 --> 00:21:05,955
I let him eat his own yogurt,
632
00:21:05,956 --> 00:21:07,857
and I didn't say anything anti-Semitic.
633
00:21:07,858 --> 00:21:09,225
- So did you seal the deal?
- No.
634
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,728
But if I hadn't reminded him
to go to the airport,
635
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,296
I think we might have even kissed.
636
00:21:13,297 --> 00:21:15,398
Why would you remind him
to go to the airport?
637
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,766
I don't know, Morgan, I wasn't thinking,
638
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:18,301
so I did the right thing,
but it doesn't matter
639
00:21:18,302 --> 00:21:19,803
because tomorrow when we go for yogurt,
640
00:21:19,804 --> 00:21:21,504
I'm not gonna remind him.
He's gonna miss his flight.
641
00:21:21,505 --> 00:21:22,639
I'm gonna lock him down for real.
642
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,107
Nice. I got to tell you,
643
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:25,408
I don't know what happens to me
644
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,943
when you tell me I can do anything
645
00:21:26,944 --> 00:21:29,379
and the day will reset, but
today I did some crazy sh...
646
00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:30,580
647
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:33,583
[upbeat music]
648
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:37,487
649
00:21:37,488 --> 00:21:39,522
Hey, I just met you
650
00:21:39,523 --> 00:21:40,924
[sighs]
651
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,459
[grunts]
652
00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:45,595
[sighs] Hello, Wednesday.
653
00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,764
Good morning, period.
654
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,675
How do you do, empty box of...
655
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:51,534
tampons.
656
00:21:51,535 --> 00:21:52,735
What the hell?
657
00:21:52,736 --> 00:21:54,103
[dramatic music]
658
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,539
Now for the top news
on this Thursday morning,
659
00:21:56,540 --> 00:21:58,208
a major victory for civil rights
660
00:21:58,209 --> 00:21:59,509
in the Supreme Court.
661
00:21:59,510 --> 00:22:01,511
Oh, my God, this is horrible.
662
00:22:01,512 --> 00:22:02,879
It's Thursday?
663
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,048
- [banging on door]
- It's Morgan!
664
00:22:05,049 --> 00:22:07,450
Hey, dude. Remember me?
665
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,719
I'm the guy you said, "Hey, don't worry.
666
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,154
Tomorrow's gonna reset."
667
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:13,823
I did things I could never take back.
668
00:22:13,824 --> 00:22:15,058
I called my grandmother a slut.
669
00:22:15,059 --> 00:22:16,226
- What?
- She punched me.
670
00:22:16,227 --> 00:22:17,560
She punched me right in the face.
671
00:22:17,561 --> 00:22:19,329
- You deserved it.
- I know.
672
00:22:19,330 --> 00:22:20,964
What about me?
I was about to seal the deal
673
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:22,532
with Ben, and finally win him back,
674
00:22:22,533 --> 00:22:24,200
and now it's friggin' Thursday?
675
00:22:24,201 --> 00:22:27,237
Although it was actually worth it
676
00:22:27,238 --> 00:22:30,874
just to spend one extra hour
with Ben every day.
677
00:22:30,875 --> 00:22:32,141
I got to find out more about him
678
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:33,977
and learn how great he was.
679
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,679
Now he's just gonna get back
together with his stupid ex,
680
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,748
and I'm not even gonna have
that hour a day anymore.
681
00:22:38,749 --> 00:22:40,750
Well, did you ever consider that
682
00:22:40,751 --> 00:22:42,819
maybe it was Ben who was
repeating each day
683
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:46,723
to learn that you're not
good enough for him?
684
00:22:46,724 --> 00:22:48,057
You're probably right.
685
00:22:48,058 --> 00:22:49,559
The universe sure does love white men.
686
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,994
Aw, who am I kidding? So do I.
687
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:52,362
Well, I have to leave now,
688
00:22:52,363 --> 00:22:54,898
because I joined the Navy yesterday,
689
00:22:54,899 --> 00:22:57,033
thinking I wouldn't have to go.
690
00:22:57,034 --> 00:22:59,269
Mess up my foot to get out of it.
691
00:22:59,270 --> 00:23:01,671
Oh, what if I say I'm gay?
692
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,872
That's nothing.
693
00:23:02,873 --> 00:23:04,607
694
00:23:04,608 --> 00:23:06,676
[door slams]
695
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,711
Dear God, please bless
this enormous feast
696
00:23:08,712 --> 00:23:10,013
that I'm about to cram.
697
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,081
And please bless little Leo,
698
00:23:12,082 --> 00:23:14,717
and if you're behind
what happened to me,
699
00:23:14,718 --> 00:23:17,587
ha, ha, very funny, bite me.
700
00:23:17,588 --> 00:23:20,690
Also, please take care of Ben and
Lindsay on their flight to St. Louis.
701
00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:23,293
All right, smell you later. Amen.
702
00:23:23,294 --> 00:23:25,194
[knocking at door]
703
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:29,098
Okay, this better not be
the three goddamn spirits.
704
00:23:29,099 --> 00:23:30,099
Coming.
705
00:23:31,902 --> 00:23:33,269
- Hey.
- Can I come in?
706
00:23:33,270 --> 00:23:36,105
Okay, yeah.
707
00:23:36,106 --> 00:23:37,240
Oh, sorry.
708
00:23:37,241 --> 00:23:38,975
Looks like you have a bunch
of people over here.
709
00:23:38,976 --> 00:23:41,778
Yeah, just... I had, like,
10 or 12 friends here,
710
00:23:41,779 --> 00:23:44,113
but then they... they all, uh, took off.
711
00:23:44,114 --> 00:23:45,582
- Right.
- What are you doing here?
712
00:23:45,583 --> 00:23:47,908
I thought you were gonna be
in St. Louis seeing Patricia.
713
00:23:47,933 --> 00:23:49,100
I was.
714
00:23:49,101 --> 00:23:52,322
But on the plane, I started thinking
about our last conversation.
715
00:23:52,323 --> 00:23:54,223
I thought it was really sweet
how you reminded me
716
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,259
to get on that flight for Lindsay.
717
00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:57,927
Well, you know me.
718
00:23:57,928 --> 00:23:59,395
Selfless to a fault.
719
00:23:59,396 --> 00:24:01,130
So by the time I landed in St. Louis,
720
00:24:01,131 --> 00:24:04,734
I realized the only place
I really want to be
721
00:24:04,735 --> 00:24:06,002
is right here.
722
00:24:06,003 --> 00:24:07,774
Look, Ben, I know I did
a lot of messing up...
723
00:24:07,844 --> 00:24:08,852
like, a lot.
724
00:24:08,877 --> 00:24:10,399
Like, more than you could
possibly imagine.
725
00:24:10,424 --> 00:24:12,985
- Well...
- But what I have learned
726
00:24:13,122 --> 00:24:15,123
is that you're such a great guy.
727
00:24:15,219 --> 00:24:17,647
And the more I get to know you,
the more I love you.
728
00:24:17,648 --> 00:24:19,949
I just didn't know what
I had when I had it.
729
00:24:19,950 --> 00:24:22,652
So you want to give this another try?
730
00:24:22,653 --> 00:24:25,288
Ugh, finally! It's been months.
731
00:24:25,289 --> 00:24:26,522
- What?
- Never mind.
732
00:24:26,523 --> 00:24:28,291
Doesn't matter.
733
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:30,593
Hey, I just met you
734
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:32,762
And this is crazy
735
00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:34,130
But here's my number
736
00:24:34,131 --> 00:24:36,265
So call me maybe
737
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:39,035
It's hard to look right
738
00:24:39,036 --> 00:24:40,803
At you, baby
739
00:24:40,804 --> 00:24:42,372
But here's my number
740
00:24:42,373 --> 00:24:44,173
So call me maybe
741
00:24:44,174 --> 00:24:46,676
And all the other boys
742
00:24:46,677 --> 00:24:48,845
Try to chase me
743
00:24:48,846 --> 00:24:50,279
But here's my number
744
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,215
So call me maybe
745
00:24:52,216 --> 00:24:54,283
Before you came into my life
746
00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,052
I missed you so bad
747
00:24:56,053 --> 00:24:58,021
Before you came into my life
748
00:24:58,022 --> 00:25:00,523
I missed you so bad
749
00:25:00,524 --> 00:25:02,625
And you should know that
750
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,128
So call me maybe
751
00:25:04,178 --> 00:25:08,728
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