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1
00:00:01,318 --> 00:00:02,318
(Mindy) Dating a manly
guy like Danny Castellano
2
00:00:02,319 --> 00:00:03,753
has its advantages.
3
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,821
He can cook a perfect steak
in ten minutes.
4
00:00:05,822 --> 00:00:07,323
The secret
to a great steak is,
5
00:00:07,324 --> 00:00:09,492
you got to massage
the meat for an hour.
6
00:00:09,493 --> 00:00:12,662
Vito... my butcher Vito,
not my barber Vito...
7
00:00:12,663 --> 00:00:15,498
He said, "Danny,
you got to make sure
8
00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:18,434
it's a very sensual massage."
9
00:00:18,468 --> 00:00:19,635
Dear God.
10
00:00:20,971 --> 00:00:21,971
You want another?
11
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,840
Oh, that's hot.
12
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,410
Mmm.
13
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,911
(Mindy)
And he's so handy,
14
00:00:28,912 --> 00:00:30,846
he can build anything.
15
00:00:30,847 --> 00:00:32,148
Done.
16
00:00:32,149 --> 00:00:34,150
Why do you need another row
of dresses in there?
17
00:00:34,151 --> 00:00:37,119
Oh, this one is
for my aspirational sizes.
18
00:00:37,154 --> 00:00:39,755
Mindy, this is
a doll's dress.
19
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:40,790
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
20
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,124
You know what else
you can drill?
21
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,125
What?
22
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,126
[Drill whirs]
23
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,294
Oh!
Oh, God!
24
00:00:45,329 --> 00:00:47,263
(Mindy)
But as great as a manly guy is,
25
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,298
sometimes you need
a pinch hitter...
26
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,167
A pal you take
to the Rihanna book signing
27
00:00:51,168 --> 00:00:54,170
when your boyfriend calls it
"the reason China is winning."
28
00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:56,505
You mind waiting outside
while I change?
29
00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:57,907
What? No.
I'm coming in.
30
00:00:57,908 --> 00:00:59,208
I've never been here,
and I want to Judge your taste.
31
00:00:59,243 --> 00:01:00,243
No, I don't want you
to see my apartment.
32
00:01:00,244 --> 00:01:01,244
Get out of the way.
33
00:01:01,245 --> 00:01:02,245
Take it easy!
I...
34
00:01:02,246 --> 00:01:03,246
I'm coming in!
[Glass shatters]
35
00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:04,413
Oh!
[Rock music playing]
36
00:01:04,414 --> 00:01:05,448
You're up, black man!
37
00:01:05,449 --> 00:01:06,782
5,000 bucks I hit this.
38
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,919
[Glass shatters,
all cheering]
39
00:01:09,953 --> 00:01:12,622
Oh, my God.
So this is how I die.
40
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,957
Relax.
These are my roommates.
41
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,492
Boys, this is Mindy.
42
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,694
Mindy, this is pube,
pubeless...
43
00:01:18,729 --> 00:01:20,062
And Bush.
44
00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:21,964
Bush is a Kennedy.
45
00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:24,534
All right,
I'm gonna change.
46
00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:25,535
What?
You're leaving me here?
47
00:01:25,536 --> 00:01:26,536
No, Peter!
Peter!
48
00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:27,537
Guys, be nice to her.
49
00:01:27,538 --> 00:01:29,205
She gets freaked out
easily.
50
00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:31,574
So...
You're a girl.
51
00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:32,608
That's tight.
52
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:33,609
I am.
53
00:01:33,644 --> 00:01:35,144
I am a litigious,
gun-owning woman.
54
00:01:35,145 --> 00:01:36,612
[Laughs]
55
00:01:36,647 --> 00:01:37,647
[Dog barking]
[Gasps]
56
00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:39,115
What'd you do
to Nicole?
57
00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:41,317
Oh, we spray-painted her
for Dartmouth homecoming,
58
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,685
but at this point,
we're just leaving it
59
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,953
for St. Patrick's day.
60
00:01:43,987 --> 00:01:44,987
We were so drunk
that day.
61
00:01:44,988 --> 00:01:45,988
[Laughter]
62
00:01:45,989 --> 00:01:46,989
Yeah.
63
00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:48,224
Bush even made out
with his sister.
64
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:50,092
Half sister, dude.
Mm-hmm.
65
00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:51,794
It's complicated.
66
00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:52,929
Oh!
[Chuckles]
67
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:54,597
[Gasps]
68
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:56,065
How'd you do that?
69
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,099
Dude, come on.
Throw that one back.
70
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,334
It's too small.
71
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,036
It's enormous,
but it's mine, you perv.
72
00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:02,471
Peter, why do you
live here?
73
00:02:02,506 --> 00:02:04,307
'Cause a room opened up
when scrote's dad died,
74
00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:05,975
and he became
King of Kuwait.
75
00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:07,476
Oh!
76
00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:09,478
[Gasps]
77
00:02:09,513 --> 00:02:11,789
[Hip-hop music]
78
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:14,050
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
79
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,551
(Danny)
Hey, min, what do you think
80
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,753
about this listing
for my extra apartment?
81
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:19,455
"Immaculate
pet-hater's dream.
82
00:02:19,456 --> 00:02:20,990
"A perfect place
to take your shoes off
83
00:02:20,991 --> 00:02:22,625
and not smoke."
84
00:02:22,626 --> 00:02:23,625
Hmm.
85
00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:24,861
Where are you going?
86
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,562
I am going to go do rounds
with my interns,
87
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,865
and then afterwards,
I'm getting brunch with Peter.
88
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,199
You know what,
though?
89
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,567
You should come to brunch
with us.
90
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,635
You'll have so much fun,
91
00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:33,769
and you never hang out
with friends.
92
00:02:33,804 --> 00:02:34,971
I don't need friends,
okay?
93
00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:36,339
I have a girlfriend.
94
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:37,573
That's the whole point
of a relationship...
95
00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:38,841
So I always have
my little buddy
96
00:02:38,842 --> 00:02:40,843
to watch the weather channel
with me.
97
00:02:40,844 --> 00:02:43,346
And I love tracking
pollen counts with you...
98
00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:45,515
Yeah, last week,
Vermont...
99
00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:48,384
More like sneezington,
right?
100
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,417
Should we turn it on?
101
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,686
No, no, no,
please don't.
102
00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:51,888
So want to come
to brunch?
103
00:02:51,889 --> 00:02:53,055
Oh, I can't anyway.
104
00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:54,724
My contractor, Ray,
is coming over
105
00:02:54,725 --> 00:02:56,025
to the second apartment.
106
00:02:56,059 --> 00:02:57,260
He's gonna put
the cornucopia tile
107
00:02:57,294 --> 00:02:59,095
on the oven backsplash.
108
00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:00,429
What? Shut up!
109
00:03:00,464 --> 00:03:01,631
Today is
backsplash day?
110
00:03:01,632 --> 00:03:03,633
Yeah,
and the open house.
111
00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:04,834
Yeah, I got
to go to work.
112
00:03:04,835 --> 00:03:05,835
Okay.
113
00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:06,835
Bye.
Bye.
114
00:03:06,837 --> 00:03:07,937
(Lauren)
Thank you so much
115
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,238
for watching Henry.
116
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:10,773
I have to go find
my sister
117
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,442
because she's following
that stupid band again.
118
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,444
Are you sure
this is okay?
119
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,444
Lauren, relax.
120
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,114
Henry and I will be
totally fine.
121
00:03:18,148 --> 00:03:19,816
You just focus
on snapping your sister
122
00:03:19,817 --> 00:03:21,818
out of Kenny Chesney's
evil spell.
123
00:03:21,852 --> 00:03:24,020
It's so embarrassing
for our family.
124
00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,288
Thank you.
125
00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:26,956
Oh, I really
appreciate it.
126
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,956
I love you.
127
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:28,958
I love you too.
128
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:29,992
If you need help,
call me.
129
00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:31,127
I won't,
but I will call you.
130
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,328
Okay.
Okay.
131
00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:33,361
Uh, hey,
132
00:03:33,363 --> 00:03:34,730
couldn't help
but overhear
133
00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:36,399
you're gonna have
a kid this weekend?
134
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,834
Yes, Henry and I
are gonna be having
135
00:03:37,835 --> 00:03:39,302
a macho little
stag party.
136
00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:40,603
You know,
I think Lauren's
137
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,704
gonna be
rather impressed
138
00:03:41,705 --> 00:03:43,973
by what a Mrs. mom
I can be.
139
00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,341
If you need help,
I actually have been
140
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:47,009
trying to dip my toe
into the babysitting pool.
141
00:03:47,044 --> 00:03:48,945
Okay, I deliver babies
for a living.
142
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,646
Or would you ask
your postman
143
00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:52,682
if he needed help
babysitting a letter?
144
00:03:52,683 --> 00:03:53,749
[Laughs]
145
00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:55,785
Yeah, I'm gonna
talk to my postman
146
00:03:55,786 --> 00:03:56,953
in front of my dogs.
147
00:03:56,954 --> 00:03:58,354
[Laughs]
148
00:03:58,355 --> 00:03:59,355
No way.
149
00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:03,960
Ray, great job
with the backsplash.
150
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,394
I could taste
the bounty from here.
151
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:06,395
(Ray)
Yeah.
152
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:07,463
Hey, let me
ask you something.
153
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,498
How much work
would it be
154
00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,133
to combine
my two apartments?
155
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,001
You'd just have to
knock down this wall.
156
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,002
What are you thinking?
157
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,004
I don't know.
158
00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:15,538
A little more space
down the road,
159
00:04:15,539 --> 00:04:17,140
for family.
160
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,274
Well, be a couple
of thousand
161
00:04:18,275 --> 00:04:19,275
if you do it
the legal way.
162
00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:20,409
A couple thousand...
163
00:04:20,444 --> 00:04:21,944
A couple of hundred
if it's just me,
164
00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:22,945
a sledgehammer,
165
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:24,981
and a picture
of my ex-wife.
166
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,482
Now, if you want me
to make your closet
167
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,851
a walk-in, all I need
is a circular saw,
168
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,319
a picture of Rachel...
169
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:31,821
Okay, I'm gonna stop you
right there.
170
00:04:31,822 --> 00:04:33,423
Ray, you got
to get over it.
171
00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:34,457
(Mindy)
Now listen up.
172
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:35,525
I want you to forget
173
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:36,993
everything that
you've ever learned
174
00:04:36,994 --> 00:04:38,494
about medicine,
save this:
175
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:41,197
No matter how good
of a doctor you are,
176
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,399
a good bedside manner
will take you far.
177
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,434
Write that down.
178
00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:45,968
Yeah, but do we have time
to perform
179
00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:48,304
three Wayne's world sketches
for every patient?
180
00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:50,506
Sorry I care, gigak.
181
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,841
Now go. Party on.
182
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,209
That's a line
from Wayne's world.
183
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,310
Okay,
get out of here.
184
00:04:54,311 --> 00:04:55,645
Hey, Peter!
Schwing.
185
00:04:55,679 --> 00:04:56,679
Can we get out of here?
186
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,847
I had a really rough night
last night.
187
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,082
I passed out,
and my roommates
188
00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:00,583
tried to give me
a weave.
189
00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:02,418
God, okay, Peter,
no offense,
190
00:05:02,419 --> 00:05:04,221
but your roommates
are garbage from hell.
191
00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:05,254
Yeah, I know.
192
00:05:05,255 --> 00:05:07,090
It's getting
really bad lately.
193
00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:08,124
I'm trying to date
194
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:10,293
a more, like,
classier type of lady.
195
00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,961
Last week,
I brought home a lawyer.
196
00:05:11,962 --> 00:05:13,129
She got lyme disease.
197
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:14,297
Oh, God.
198
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:16,099
Well, why don't you just
find your own place?
199
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,734
I wish I could.
No one would rent to me.
200
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,202
Oh, my God,
Peter,
201
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,837
I know where
you can live.
202
00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:23,773
Ah! Ah!
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
203
00:05:23,774 --> 00:05:25,675
Mmm.
Worth it.
204
00:05:25,709 --> 00:05:26,876
What are you doing?
205
00:05:26,877 --> 00:05:28,745
Those are
for the open house.
206
00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:30,480
Danny, I actually
canceled the open house,
207
00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:31,481
because, good news,
208
00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:32,548
I found you
the perfect tenant.
209
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,085
It's perfect.
I'll take it.
210
00:05:37,002 --> 00:05:38,814
(Danny)
I can't have Peter living here.
211
00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:40,213
What if he steals
my Wi-Fi?
212
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,481
(As Borat)
My Wi-Fi!
213
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,282
See, Danny,
that was hilarious.
214
00:05:43,317 --> 00:05:44,817
Big whoop.
Everybody does Borat.
215
00:05:44,818 --> 00:05:45,918
Nice. I like.
216
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:46,952
Was that a...
217
00:05:46,954 --> 00:05:47,954
Borat.
218
00:05:47,955 --> 00:05:49,956
Oh!
That was good too!
219
00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:50,990
Thanks.
220
00:05:50,991 --> 00:05:51,991
Look, Peter is
our friend,
221
00:05:51,992 --> 00:05:53,059
and we need
to help him.
222
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:54,093
His roommates are
bringing him down.
223
00:05:54,128 --> 00:05:55,294
This sink is amazing.
224
00:05:55,295 --> 00:05:56,963
It looks like no one's
puked in it yet.
225
00:05:56,964 --> 00:05:58,631
And I intend
to keep it that way.
226
00:05:58,665 --> 00:06:00,433
He intends
to keep it that way!
227
00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,467
I don't know.
228
00:06:01,502 --> 00:06:02,502
Look,
I happen to know
229
00:06:02,503 --> 00:06:03,836
he'll pay
practically anything
230
00:06:03,837 --> 00:06:04,837
for this apartment.
231
00:06:04,838 --> 00:06:06,405
Danny,
I will pay double.
232
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,507
I will pay triple!
233
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:08,875
I will pay double.
234
00:06:08,876 --> 00:06:10,443
Look, I just...
I really need some help
235
00:06:10,477 --> 00:06:12,445
finding a new, grown-up
living situation.
236
00:06:12,479 --> 00:06:15,081
Right now, I'm a grown-up
who's living like the situation.
237
00:06:15,115 --> 00:06:16,482
The situation
is a character
238
00:06:16,517 --> 00:06:18,117
on a reality show
that is...
239
00:06:18,152 --> 00:06:19,685
Fine. Fine.
240
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:20,720
[Whispering]
Yes.
241
00:06:20,721 --> 00:06:21,721
But there are rules.
242
00:06:21,722 --> 00:06:22,822
No halogens.
No hot plates.
243
00:06:22,823 --> 00:06:24,290
Use poster putty.
No posters.
244
00:06:24,324 --> 00:06:26,492
And you can't just waltz
over to my place unannounced.
245
00:06:26,493 --> 00:06:28,928
You got it?
Deal.
246
00:06:28,962 --> 00:06:31,030
Nicole, we have a home!
247
00:06:31,064 --> 00:06:32,231
Who's Nicole?
248
00:06:32,232 --> 00:06:33,232
[Dog barks
249
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:35,501
my mini pomeranian.
250
00:06:43,143 --> 00:06:44,143
Hey, babe.
251
00:06:44,144 --> 00:06:45,478
Wow.
Smells great.
252
00:06:45,479 --> 00:06:47,647
Did you light one of your
pot-roastecandles?
253
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:48,948
(Peter)
Oh, nope!
254
00:06:48,982 --> 00:06:50,535
This is the real thing.
255
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,052
I never knew I could cook
one of these
256
00:06:53,053 --> 00:06:54,320
without using
actual pot.
257
00:06:54,354 --> 00:06:57,023
Pete, what did I tell you
about stopping over uninvited?
258
00:06:57,057 --> 00:06:58,891
No, it's okay.
I invited him.
259
00:06:58,892 --> 00:07:00,560
He just wanted
to say thank you
260
00:07:00,561 --> 00:07:02,228
for renting out
your apartment to him.
261
00:07:02,262 --> 00:07:03,996
(Peter) Dude,
I already feel like more of an adult.
262
00:07:04,031 --> 00:07:05,698
Today I went out
and bought curtains,
263
00:07:05,699 --> 00:07:09,035
and I closed them
before I...
264
00:07:09,036 --> 00:07:10,369
Relaxed.
265
00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,705
See? He said "relaxed"
instead of "masturbate."
266
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,509
(Danny)
Wow. That was fantastic.
267
00:07:16,543 --> 00:07:18,378
Pete, in my house,
268
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,379
the chef doesn't
clean up, okay?
269
00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,014
Mindy, hop to.
270
00:07:22,049 --> 00:07:23,616
What?
Ow!
271
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:25,518
Guys,
I'm actually done.
272
00:07:25,519 --> 00:07:26,686
I'm gonna
hit the hay.
273
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,388
I wish it was hay;
I'm actually just gonna sleep
274
00:07:28,389 --> 00:07:29,889
on a bunch of
crumpled newspapers.
275
00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:31,090
When I told my roommates
I was moving out,
276
00:07:31,091 --> 00:07:32,258
they stabbed
my waterbed.
277
00:07:32,259 --> 00:07:33,258
Thanks, guys.
278
00:07:33,260 --> 00:07:34,761
Sounds good, Pete.
Good night.
279
00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:36,462
What? No.
It does not sound good.
280
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:37,964
Wait, Pete, stop.
281
00:07:37,998 --> 00:07:39,332
You're not gonna
spend the night
282
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,967
on some floor of an apartment
on newspaper.
283
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:42,001
You know what?
284
00:07:42,002 --> 00:07:43,936
You can spend
the night here.
285
00:07:43,971 --> 00:07:45,438
What? Here?
He's gonna spend the night here?
286
00:07:45,472 --> 00:07:46,472
Yes.
287
00:07:47,541 --> 00:07:48,841
Okay, yeah, Pete.
288
00:07:48,842 --> 00:07:50,243
You can spend the night
on the couch.
289
00:07:50,277 --> 00:07:51,844
Okay, cool!
290
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:52,979
[Chuckles]
291
00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:54,414
[Grunts]
292
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:56,282
(Peter)
Hey, which channel is spike?
293
00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:59,285
(Mindy) Hey, big boy, those reading
glasses are making me horny.
294
00:07:59,319 --> 00:08:00,787
What?
Oh, no.
295
00:08:00,821 --> 00:08:01,821
We shouldn't do that
296
00:08:01,822 --> 00:08:03,056
'cause Pete's
right out there.
297
00:08:03,057 --> 00:08:04,824
I... I really don't want him
to know my noises.
298
00:08:04,825 --> 00:08:06,859
(Peter) I don't mind if you
guys need to get freaky!
299
00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:08,394
In fact, I insist!
300
00:08:08,395 --> 00:08:09,629
He insists.
Come on.
301
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,164
Nobody's doing anything,
Pete.
302
00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:12,231
Everybody's
going to bed.
303
00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:13,566
Good night!
304
00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:15,068
Okay, well,
I'm all wound up.
305
00:08:15,069 --> 00:08:16,135
Not sleepy at all.
306
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:17,570
I'm gonna go watch TV
with Peter.
307
00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:20,006
Peter, stay up!
We're watching TV!
308
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,941
(Peter) Aw, yeah,
get that butt out here
309
00:08:21,942 --> 00:08:22,942
and watch TV with me,
girl.
310
00:08:22,943 --> 00:08:24,677
[TV clicks on]
311
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,512
(Woman on TV) I'm not gonna
let chantel ruin my vacation.
312
00:08:26,513 --> 00:08:27,947
(Peter)
Oh, this is that reality show
313
00:08:27,948 --> 00:08:30,116
about the black beauty shop
that's on a boat.
314
00:08:30,117 --> 00:08:32,018
Can you turn it down,
please?
315
00:08:32,019 --> 00:08:33,486
(Man on TV) Or I'm gonna
pull that weave out!
316
00:08:33,487 --> 00:08:34,486
Mindy?
317
00:08:34,488 --> 00:08:35,555
(Jeremy)
Okay, why don't
318
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:36,889
I sing you a British lullaby,
hmm?
319
00:08:36,924 --> 00:08:39,959
Go to sleep,
little babe
320
00:08:39,993 --> 00:08:43,196
Or the bog-man
will slice your tongue out
321
00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:44,196
Please.
322
00:08:44,198 --> 00:08:45,198
[Henry crying]
323
00:08:45,199 --> 00:08:47,100
I'm so tired!
324
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:48,134
Hey!
325
00:08:48,135 --> 00:08:49,135
Oh, my God!
Stay back!
326
00:08:49,136 --> 00:08:50,136
Whoa!
327
00:08:50,137 --> 00:08:51,838
What are you doing here,
Morgan?
328
00:08:51,839 --> 00:08:53,006
Okay, I knew
you would need my help,
329
00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:54,674
whether or not
you admitted it, all right?
330
00:08:54,675 --> 00:08:55,908
And rule number one
with a baby:
331
00:08:55,909 --> 00:08:57,410
Don't use it
as a human shield.
332
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,678
Oh, my God.
333
00:08:58,712 --> 00:08:59,879
Truth be told,
Morgan,
334
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,314
I'm doing a bit
of a botch job.
335
00:09:01,348 --> 00:09:03,182
Oh, God, he's crying
more than mother
336
00:09:03,183 --> 00:09:04,517
when we sold
wormwood manor
337
00:09:04,518 --> 00:09:05,618
to the saudis.
338
00:09:05,652 --> 00:09:06,819
I don't know
what that means.
339
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,021
Do you know what?
I give up. I give up.
340
00:09:08,055 --> 00:09:09,222
Please, just...
Just... just hold him.
341
00:09:09,223 --> 00:09:10,390
Just hold him.
It's okay.
342
00:09:10,391 --> 00:09:11,891
Okay, come here.
It's okay.
343
00:09:11,892 --> 00:09:14,427
Come here.
Yeah.
344
00:09:14,461 --> 00:09:16,429
[Crying stops]
345
00:09:16,463 --> 00:09:18,064
Did he just
stop crying?
346
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,800
He hates me.
No.
347
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:22,301
Yeah, like
everybody hates me.
348
00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:23,469
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
349
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:25,638
He's just remembering
how great it was
350
00:09:25,639 --> 00:09:26,939
when you were
holding him,
351
00:09:26,974 --> 00:09:28,541
and that's why
he stopped crying.
352
00:09:28,575 --> 00:09:29,575
You think so?
353
00:09:29,576 --> 00:09:30,910
Yes, I do.
Here. Try it again.
354
00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:33,079
Come here. Come here.
Oh, here you go.
355
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,247
[Henry crying]
356
00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:36,182
You're a liar!
You're both liars!
357
00:09:36,216 --> 00:09:38,484
(Danny)
Hey, babe, I'm home.
358
00:09:38,519 --> 00:09:39,986
[Seals and crofts'
summer breeze playing]
359
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:42,855
Seals and crofts...
360
00:09:42,856 --> 00:09:44,257
Daddy likey.
361
00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:46,926
(Seals and crofts)
summer breeze
362
00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:48,361
Makes me feel fine
363
00:09:48,362 --> 00:09:50,530
(Mindy) Sorry we couldn't
get frisky last night.
364
00:09:50,531 --> 00:09:51,631
Love, Mindy.
365
00:09:51,665 --> 00:09:53,166
P.S. enjoy the cannolis.
366
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,768
They, um, forgot
to put filling in them.
367
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:58,604
368
00:09:58,605 --> 00:10:03,409
Summer breeze
makes me feel fine
369
00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:06,779
Blowing through the Jasmine
in my mind
370
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,348
I'll show you frisky.
371
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:12,118
[Shower running]
372
00:10:12,119 --> 00:10:15,655
Summer breeze
makes me feel fine
373
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,190
Give me some
of that brown butter.
374
00:10:17,191 --> 00:10:20,460
Blowing through the Jasmine
in my mind
375
00:10:20,461 --> 00:10:22,462
[Peter and Danny shouting]
376
00:10:22,463 --> 00:10:23,963
What are you doing?
377
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:26,299
[Both shouting]
378
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,367
Oh!
379
00:10:28,685 --> 00:10:31,514
Oh, now I can never use
that shower again.
380
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,082
What the hell, dude?
You grabbed my butt!
381
00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:34,083
I was confused.
382
00:10:34,117 --> 00:10:36,018
You have
a very womanly silhouette!
383
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,086
Yeah, I know.
384
00:10:37,087 --> 00:10:38,254
I have a beer butt
and weed boobs.
385
00:10:38,255 --> 00:10:39,254
Thanks for reminding me.
386
00:10:39,256 --> 00:10:40,756
(Mindy)
[Muffled shouting]
387
00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:42,525
Your apnea mask is on.
388
00:10:42,526 --> 00:10:43,559
[Garbled]
What the hell...
389
00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:44,592
[Muffled shouting]
390
00:10:44,594 --> 00:10:45,761
Mouth guard!
391
00:10:45,762 --> 00:10:47,530
What the hell
is happening out here?
392
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,732
Mindy, your boyfriend
groped me.
393
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:50,732
You are a beard.
394
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,068
Oh, no.
It's happening again.
395
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,803
Why did you let Peter
use our shower?
396
00:10:53,837 --> 00:10:54,837
She didn't.
397
00:10:54,838 --> 00:10:56,038
I had to use your shower
398
00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:57,940
because my dog, Nicole,
is sleeping on the t-shirt
399
00:10:57,941 --> 00:10:58,941
I use as a towel.
400
00:10:58,942 --> 00:11:00,109
See?
Reasons, Danny!
401
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,110
No.
402
00:11:01,111 --> 00:11:03,112
I told you
about stopping over uninvited.
403
00:11:03,113 --> 00:11:04,447
Okay, we don't need
a Kramer,
404
00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:05,614
and if we needed one,
405
00:11:05,615 --> 00:11:07,083
Morgan's
more that energy.
406
00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:08,117
I'm sorry, Pete.
407
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:09,485
Rules are rules.
You're out.
408
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,187
Okay, okay, wait.
Let me handle this.
409
00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:13,155
Sweetheart, I am
so sorry that happened.
410
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:15,024
I can't imagine you
walking in there
411
00:11:15,025 --> 00:11:16,359
thinking it was
my beautiful body
412
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:17,626
and then happening
upon him.
413
00:11:17,661 --> 00:11:18,661
But, Danny,
you can't
414
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:19,895
kick him out
of the apartment.
415
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:20,930
We're just beginning
416
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,431
to wean him
back into society, okay?
417
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,100
[Snorts]
You said ween.
418
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,601
God.
He's a monster.
419
00:11:25,636 --> 00:11:28,471
[Sighs]
All right, fine.
420
00:11:28,505 --> 00:11:30,172
You can stay,
but from now on,
421
00:11:30,173 --> 00:11:31,841
you're banned
from this apartment, okay?
422
00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:33,676
You don't bother us,
and we don't bother you.
423
00:11:33,677 --> 00:11:34,677
Got it?
424
00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:35,845
Very well.
425
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,988
All right.
What the hell.
426
00:11:46,023 --> 00:11:48,024
(Jeremy) Well,
it's been the worst night of my life.
427
00:11:48,058 --> 00:11:49,625
[Sighs]
I'm leaving.
428
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,160
Thank you, Morgan.
I won't pay you.
429
00:11:51,161 --> 00:11:52,161
But you can have
430
00:11:52,162 --> 00:11:53,596
all the soda
you can drink.
431
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,031
Okay, it would be.
432
00:11:55,032 --> 00:11:56,032
I just want
to say that.
433
00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:57,233
If you need me,
I'm gonna catch
434
00:11:57,234 --> 00:11:58,734
a matinee of Wagner...
435
00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:01,070
Depressing,
anti-semitic, sure,
436
00:12:01,071 --> 00:12:02,672
but more fun
than here.
437
00:12:02,706 --> 00:12:04,106
All right, can I say
something real quick?
438
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,675
What?
You should stay.
439
00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:07,109
I mean, first of all,
I can teach you
440
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:08,644
how to put
this littlpork chop to bed.
441
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:09,879
And also,
you told Lauren
442
00:12:09,913 --> 00:12:11,280
that you would do this.
443
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:12,515
Yeah, it's a nice ought,
Morgan,
444
00:12:12,516 --> 00:12:13,849
but I don't think
I have a paternal bone
445
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:14,850
in my body.
446
00:12:14,851 --> 00:12:16,152
Sorry.
447
00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:18,054
(Henry)
Peter.
448
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:21,557
Did he just say
"Peter"?
449
00:12:21,591 --> 00:12:23,359
I think he said "pita,"
450
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,227
as in
the middle eastern bread,
451
00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,196
and definitely
not Peter,
452
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:28,631
Lauren's ex-boyfriend
453
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,166
and our coworker.
454
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:31,200
Morgan,
put the coffee on.
455
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:32,234
You're gonna teach me
456
00:12:32,235 --> 00:12:33,536
how to make
this stupid baby like me,
457
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:35,871
or my name isn't
Jeremy matilda Reed.
458
00:12:35,906 --> 00:12:36,906
[Knocking at door]
459
00:12:36,907 --> 00:12:38,074
(Mindy)
Who is it?
460
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:41,177
Oh, I didn't
order any food.
461
00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:43,546
Hi. I'm Ray.
462
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,081
Danny wanted me
to change the locks.
463
00:12:45,115 --> 00:12:47,483
He said he was the victim
of a bathroom invasion.
464
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,918
Hey, while you're here,
I'd love it
465
00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:50,353
if you could take a look
at the shower
466
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,421
and see if you can install
one of those old lady seats.
467
00:12:52,422 --> 00:12:53,422
I get so tired.
468
00:12:53,423 --> 00:12:54,423
I can take a look.
469
00:12:54,424 --> 00:12:55,591
Oh, I checked
with the city,
470
00:12:55,592 --> 00:12:57,026
and we can knock down
that wall,
471
00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:59,362
so you guys can combine
Danny's two apartments.
472
00:12:59,396 --> 00:13:00,396
Hmm?
473
00:13:00,397 --> 00:13:01,397
He said
something about
474
00:13:01,431 --> 00:13:03,065
wanting to make room
for family.
475
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,835
Family? Family?
476
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,103
Ray, come here.
477
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:08,237
My sweet Ray.
478
00:13:08,238 --> 00:13:09,572
I've been waiting
for this my whole life.
479
00:13:09,606 --> 00:13:11,173
A man wants me
to move in with him.
480
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,908
Tell me
your name again.
481
00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:14,443
I'm Mindy,
Ray, obviously.
482
00:13:14,478 --> 00:13:15,811
Okay, I got to go.
Excuse me!
483
00:13:17,147 --> 00:13:18,247
Hey, neighbor!
484
00:13:18,282 --> 00:13:19,415
Peter,
you're evicted.
485
00:13:19,449 --> 00:13:20,616
What?
486
00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:21,784
Danny wants to combine
the two apartments
487
00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:22,918
so that I can
move in with him.
488
00:13:22,953 --> 00:13:24,454
So you got to go.
489
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:25,955
God, what did I do
with the place
490
00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:26,956
once it's mine?
491
00:13:26,957 --> 00:13:28,324
I was thinking like
492
00:13:28,325 --> 00:13:30,660
a "strawberry shortcake
meets Saddam's palace" vibe.
493
00:13:30,661 --> 00:13:32,261
Okay, I'm being
insense.
494
00:13:32,262 --> 00:13:33,963
I'm very sorry.
495
00:13:33,997 --> 00:13:34,997
But I don't want
to go.
496
00:13:34,998 --> 00:13:35,998
I'm doing so well
497
00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:37,199
ling next to
you and Danny.
498
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,501
I know!
I think we fixed you.
499
00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:39,869
I think
you should move on.
500
00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:41,871
Didn't you tell me that
you bought groceries today?
501
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,585
Yeah, and then I left them
at a strip club.
502
00:13:43,607 --> 00:13:44,606
Damn it.
503
00:13:44,608 --> 00:13:45,975
I'm a mess.
504
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:47,843
Look, I'm so sorry, Peter,
505
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:49,512
but I'm, like,
200 years old, okay?
506
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:50,813
I got to lock this down.
507
00:13:50,847 --> 00:13:51,914
I finally
found a boyfriend
508
00:13:51,949 --> 00:13:53,783
with a perfectly
proportioned penis.
509
00:13:53,784 --> 00:13:55,618
Do you know how rare
that is in Manhattan?
510
00:13:55,652 --> 00:13:56,651
I'm gonna hold on
to him
511
00:13:56,653 --> 00:13:57,987
until a coroner
drags me away.
512
00:13:57,988 --> 00:13:58,988
I'm sorry, Peter.
513
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:00,189
I just need this
more than you.
514
00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:01,857
Very well.
515
00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:05,361
I think I see
the writing on the wall.
516
00:14:05,362 --> 00:14:07,196
And I'm sorry about that
by the way.
517
00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:09,832
I will be out of the apartment
by the morning,
518
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,100
but until then,
it is mine.
519
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:12,902
Thank you.
520
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,004
And just so you know,
521
00:14:15,038 --> 00:14:16,472
you're acting like
a crazy spinster,
522
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:17,786
and I didn't
expect that from you
523
00:14:17,808 --> 00:14:19,342
for another two years,
and I don't know
524
00:14:19,343 --> 00:14:20,643
what is going on
with you and Danny,
525
00:14:20,677 --> 00:14:22,411
but this is pathetic.
526
00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:24,180
Be that as it may,
527
00:14:24,181 --> 00:14:25,348
this is how it is.
528
00:14:25,349 --> 00:14:26,348
I'm so sorry.
529
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,850
Nicole, please
see this jerk
530
00:14:27,851 --> 00:14:29,352
to her apartment.
531
00:14:29,386 --> 00:14:30,586
Nicole?
532
00:14:31,722 --> 00:14:34,056
I forgot her
at the strip club too.
533
00:14:36,193 --> 00:14:38,160
(Jeremy) Morgan, explain to
me again why you're shirtless.
534
00:14:38,195 --> 00:14:40,129
'Cause a very wise woman
once said to me,
535
00:14:40,163 --> 00:14:41,764
"if with a baby
you want to win,
536
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,499
always go
skin to skin."
537
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:44,734
Do you know
who that woman was?
538
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:46,269
That was doctor...
539
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,303
It was Mindy.
540
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,005
I was gonna say it,
but...
541
00:14:49,039 --> 00:14:50,106
She loves to rhyme.
542
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,140
I like it, though.
Yeah, me too.
543
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,141
You're up next,
okay?
544
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,209
And if he starts
suckling,
545
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:54,209
just go with it.
546
00:14:54,211 --> 00:14:55,545
Okay, so, um...
547
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,680
Oy.
So I just... uh, I just...
548
00:14:57,714 --> 00:14:58,915
Okay, so take off
your blouse.
549
00:14:58,916 --> 00:14:59,916
Well,
it's not a blouse.
550
00:14:59,917 --> 00:15:01,217
It's a men's
peasant top.
551
00:15:01,251 --> 00:15:02,251
Okay, whatever.
Just take it off.
552
00:15:02,252 --> 00:15:03,252
I'm not
gonna take it off.
553
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:04,253
Just take it off.
Trust me.
554
00:15:04,254 --> 00:15:05,254
No, no.
What are you doing?
555
00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:06,255
Come on.
Listen to me.
556
00:15:06,256 --> 00:15:07,423
No, no! Shirt to skin!
Shirt to skin!
557
00:15:07,424 --> 00:15:08,424
You're jiggling
like a woman!
558
00:15:08,425 --> 00:15:09,425
I'm gonna freak out!
559
00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:10,560
No, no, no!
Agh! My elbow!
560
00:15:10,594 --> 00:15:11,627
[Giggles]
561
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,129
He's laughing.
562
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,664
Why is he laughing?
563
00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:15,898
He likes it
when you hurt yourself.
564
00:15:15,933 --> 00:15:17,333
Hurt yourself again.
Hurt yourself again.
565
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,494
No way.
I bruise like a peach.
566
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:19,669
Dr. Prentice
would do it.
567
00:15:21,772 --> 00:15:22,872
Okay, fine.
568
00:15:22,873 --> 00:15:24,006
Do it.
Do it.
569
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,675
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
570
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:26,709
Agh!
571
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:28,010
[Giggles]
572
00:15:28,045 --> 00:15:29,312
(Morgan)
He loves it!
573
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,513
Personally,
I don't.
574
00:15:30,547 --> 00:15:32,548
I like the dry,
you know, like frasier,
575
00:15:32,549 --> 00:15:34,217
that type of humor,
but...
576
00:15:34,251 --> 00:15:36,586
(Mindy) Finally,
an intimate evening for three:
577
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,895
You, me,
578
00:15:37,921 --> 00:15:40,089
and Dr. Dan's
winter melon ale.
579
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,591
Bon appetit, baby.
580
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,259
I thought you said
it tasted like urine.
581
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:44,360
No, I would never
say that.
582
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,862
It's my favorite drink.
583
00:15:47,564 --> 00:15:48,564
[Coughing]
584
00:15:48,565 --> 00:15:49,665
You okay, babe?
Mm-hmm.
585
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,068
I love the way
it tastes in my mouth.
586
00:15:52,069 --> 00:15:53,069
Come here.
587
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,070
Yeah.
588
00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:57,073
[Dmx's party up playing loudly]
589
00:15:57,074 --> 00:15:58,074
590
00:15:58,075 --> 00:15:59,075
What's that noise?
591
00:15:59,076 --> 00:16:00,343
[People shouting and cheering]
592
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,878
(Dmx)
whoo! Y'all gon' make me
593
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,045
Lose my mind
594
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,047
Up in here,
up in here
595
00:16:05,082 --> 00:16:06,883
What the hell
is Peter thinking?
596
00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:08,317
(Mindy)
Oh, my God.
597
00:16:08,352 --> 00:16:10,553
There's not
a single coaster being used.
598
00:16:10,587 --> 00:16:12,722
(Mindy) How dare
Peter throw a party?
599
00:16:12,756 --> 00:16:13,856
How dare Peter
throw a party
600
00:16:13,857 --> 00:16:14,857
and not invite us?
601
00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,138
I mean,
look at all these basics!
602
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,326
Oh, my cornucopia.
603
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:18,661
My cornucopia!
604
00:16:18,695 --> 00:16:22,465
Hey!
Put the pens down!
605
00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:24,066
Peter,
you son of a bitch.
606
00:16:24,101 --> 00:16:25,568
Hey, hey!
Come here!
607
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:26,702
Get over here.
608
00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:27,837
Get off me, mom!
609
00:16:27,871 --> 00:16:29,705
What the hell
is wrong with you?
610
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:30,807
My real friends
611
00:16:30,808 --> 00:16:32,241
are throwing me
a going-away party
612
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,910
to protest
my eviction.
613
00:16:33,944 --> 00:16:35,444
Pete, what the hell
is going on, man?
614
00:16:35,445 --> 00:16:37,280
I checked the microwave.
It's cheese city.
615
00:16:37,281 --> 00:16:38,447
You got to put
that top on,
616
00:16:38,448 --> 00:16:39,882
the protector...
What do you call it?
617
00:16:39,883 --> 00:16:41,584
The plastic protector shield!
Put it on!
618
00:16:41,618 --> 00:16:42,785
I don't know what
you're talking about!
619
00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:44,120
I wouldn't use anything
like that
620
00:16:44,121 --> 00:16:45,361
even if I wasn't
having a party.
621
00:16:45,389 --> 00:16:46,389
What did you say...
622
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:47,890
Hey, man, you better
watch yourself!
623
00:16:47,891 --> 00:16:50,092
There is a big disparity
between sizes!
624
00:16:50,127 --> 00:16:51,302
Oh, you're, like,
an inch taller!
625
00:16:51,328 --> 00:16:52,762
Inch and a half!
With hair!
626
00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:54,063
Yeah!
And some forehead!
627
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,231
Okay,
this is stupid.
628
00:16:55,232 --> 00:16:56,566
It's like an ant
fighting with thumbelina.
629
00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:57,733
Peter, you're gonna
ruin this place
630
00:16:57,734 --> 00:16:59,168
before I even get
a chance to move in!
631
00:16:59,169 --> 00:17:01,003
Yeah! What do you mean,
"move in"?
632
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,816
Oh, you don't know
what this one's thinking.
633
00:17:05,843 --> 00:17:08,911
Oh, there's a conversation
to be had here.
634
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:11,114
Now, if you will
excuse me,
635
00:17:11,115 --> 00:17:12,615
I need to go
get greased up
636
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:13,783
by my real friends
637
00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:15,451
for my party slide.
638
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:16,586
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no!
639
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,454
Pete, no sliding!
It's in the lease!
640
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:19,755
I thought
about everything!
641
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:21,224
I can't hear that!
642
00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:22,725
What do you, uh...
643
00:17:22,726 --> 00:17:23,926
What do you mean,
"moving in"?
644
00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:24,926
What's that?
645
00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:26,095
Oh, Ray told me.
646
00:17:26,096 --> 00:17:27,763
You don't have
to keep it a secret anymore.
647
00:17:27,764 --> 00:17:29,465
I know you want
to combine the apartments
648
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,100
to make room
for our family.
649
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:33,636
[Sighs]
No, no, I...
650
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,638
I want to expand,
651
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:37,473
so ma could have
a place.
652
00:17:37,508 --> 00:17:42,445
Oh, you meant your mother,
your family, yeah.
653
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:43,579
Mindy, no, no...
654
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,915
Ha...
I am so embarrassed.
655
00:17:45,949 --> 00:17:47,116
No, no, no. Don't be embarrassed.
No, no, it's okay.
656
00:17:47,151 --> 00:17:48,151
I'm gonna go.
657
00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:49,585
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold... hold on.
658
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,154
Mindy?
Min?
659
00:17:51,188 --> 00:17:53,030
Get my nips.
Don't forget the nips.
660
00:17:53,056 --> 00:17:54,198
(Peter)
I'm Peter Pan!
661
00:17:54,224 --> 00:17:56,893
[All cheering]
662
00:17:56,894 --> 00:17:58,594
Whoa!
663
00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:00,096
Oh, my God!
Pete!
664
00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:04,363
Come in.
665
00:18:04,398 --> 00:18:05,998
Hey, pal,
glad you're feeling better.
666
00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:07,066
Really?
667
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,701
Yeah, I want you to get
healthy and strong,
668
00:18:08,702 --> 00:18:09,702
so I can kill you
669
00:18:09,703 --> 00:18:11,170
for what you did
to my apartment.
670
00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:12,538
Look, I only
threw that party
671
00:18:12,539 --> 00:18:14,574
because Mindy evicted me
with no warning.
672
00:18:14,608 --> 00:18:16,375
Yeah, well, I got a bone
to pick with her too.
673
00:18:16,376 --> 00:18:17,410
I don't understand
674
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:18,778
why she's so upset
with me.
675
00:18:18,779 --> 00:18:20,613
Dude,
you read her diary.
676
00:18:20,614 --> 00:18:21,948
You know Mindy's all in.
677
00:18:21,949 --> 00:18:24,083
So when you start talking
about knocking down walls,
678
00:18:24,084 --> 00:18:25,685
she's gonna think
that you're all in too.
679
00:18:25,686 --> 00:18:27,019
Yeah, you're right.
680
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,021
We have been getting
real close lately.
681
00:18:29,022 --> 00:18:31,190
She admitted to me
that she's in her 30s.
682
00:18:31,225 --> 00:18:32,225
Shut up.
683
00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:33,860
She swears to me
she's 24.
684
00:18:33,894 --> 00:18:35,228
Nope, 30s.
685
00:18:35,262 --> 00:18:36,562
Yeah, I mean,
I know.
686
00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:37,763
Yeah.
Well, go.
687
00:18:37,798 --> 00:18:39,532
Make things right
with Diane.
688
00:18:39,566 --> 00:18:40,566
What?
689
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,235
Uh, Mindy.
Sorry.
690
00:18:42,236 --> 00:18:44,203
I am legit
concussed here.
691
00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,838
All right, pal.
Rest up, okay?
692
00:18:45,873 --> 00:18:47,673
Hey, Danny?
693
00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:48,708
Yeah, buddy?
694
00:18:48,742 --> 00:18:50,576
Thanks for coming
to visit me.
695
00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:52,278
None of
my other friends did.
696
00:18:52,312 --> 00:18:54,814
You know what, Pete?
697
00:18:54,815 --> 00:18:56,816
I think you should
spend a little more time
698
00:18:56,817 --> 00:18:57,950
at my other place.
699
00:18:57,985 --> 00:18:59,051
Are you being
serious?
700
00:18:59,086 --> 00:19:00,386
Yeah.
701
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:01,721
Even though Bush
dropped a deuce
702
00:19:01,722 --> 00:19:02,722
in your washing machine?
703
00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:04,724
[Sighs]
I didn't know about that.
704
00:19:06,126 --> 00:19:08,728
Oh, wherever did I leave
my banana peel?
705
00:19:08,762 --> 00:19:10,196
Oh, it's there.
706
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:12,231
Coccyx, forgive me.
707
00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:14,100
[Hissing]
708
00:19:15,135 --> 00:19:16,135
[Whispering]
Oh, my God.
709
00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:20,973
Thank you so much.
710
00:19:20,974 --> 00:19:22,041
And, listen,
I know I tried
711
00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:23,042
to bail on you
seven or eight times...
712
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,043
Yeah, you did.
713
00:19:24,044 --> 00:19:25,178
But thank you
for sticking with me.
714
00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:27,079
And, listen, I owe you
way more than soda, so...
715
00:19:27,114 --> 00:19:28,881
Oh, no, no, come on.
That's crazy.
716
00:19:28,882 --> 00:19:30,016
Come on, come on.
That's...
717
00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:32,251
All right.
718
00:19:32,252 --> 00:19:33,653
Lauren is gonna be
so impressed.
719
00:19:33,687 --> 00:19:34,887
Oh, yeah,
she's gonna want you
720
00:19:34,888 --> 00:19:36,155
to watch Henry
all the time.
721
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,457
What are you
talking about?
722
00:19:37,491 --> 00:19:38,891
I mean, this could be
your life now.
723
00:19:38,892 --> 00:19:40,393
You know,
you're a lucky man.
724
00:19:40,394 --> 00:19:41,494
Oh, no, no,
no, no, no, no...
725
00:19:41,495 --> 00:19:42,528
Ye
726
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:43,763
but what if I don't want
any of that?
727
00:19:43,797 --> 00:19:45,164
What if I just wanted
a girlfriend
728
00:19:45,199 --> 00:19:47,867
and I hadn't thought
any of this through?
729
00:19:47,868 --> 00:19:50,803
I don't know
what to tell you.
730
00:19:50,804 --> 00:19:51,803
Oh, dear.
731
00:19:51,805 --> 00:19:53,139
I'll see you monday.
732
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:54,774
That baby's
got to sleep.
733
00:19:54,808 --> 00:19:55,942
Okay.
734
00:19:57,111 --> 00:19:58,144
Bye, buddy.
735
00:19:58,145 --> 00:20:01,147
[Crashing]
736
00:20:01,148 --> 00:20:04,016
[Clattering]
737
00:20:04,051 --> 00:20:07,053
[Henry crying]
738
00:20:07,054 --> 00:20:08,321
Bye.
739
00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:10,056
[Crying continues]
740
00:20:11,525 --> 00:20:12,959
[Door opens]
741
00:20:12,993 --> 00:20:14,327
Hey.
742
00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:15,528
Hey.
743
00:20:15,529 --> 00:20:16,629
You don't
have to do that.
744
00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:17,830
You told me,
in your culture,
745
00:20:17,831 --> 00:20:19,031
cleaning
is a man job.
746
00:20:19,032 --> 00:20:20,031
It is.
747
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:21,701
I just wanted the place
to look nice
748
00:20:21,702 --> 00:20:23,202
for when your mom
moved in.
749
00:20:23,237 --> 00:20:24,337
Can we talk
about that?
750
00:20:25,372 --> 00:20:26,372
When I was thinking
751
00:20:26,373 --> 00:20:27,807
about having my mom
move in, that...
752
00:20:27,841 --> 00:20:29,642
I'm talking down the line,
in the future,
753
00:20:29,643 --> 00:20:31,711
when her bones
finally turn to dust.
754
00:20:31,745 --> 00:20:33,646
She's got to take
the yogurt for her bones.
755
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,481
Promise me you'll take yogurt
for your bones.
756
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,350
Do you want talk
about yogurt,
757
00:20:37,351 --> 00:20:38,684
or do you want to talk
about us?
758
00:20:40,354 --> 00:20:41,487
Look,
759
00:20:41,488 --> 00:20:43,156
I'm nervous about it,
760
00:20:43,157 --> 00:20:44,991
really, really nervous.
761
00:20:45,025 --> 00:20:48,528
But if you really want
to move in,
762
00:20:48,529 --> 00:20:50,196
I want to give it a try.
763
00:20:52,199 --> 00:20:53,866
No, it's okay,
Danny.
764
00:20:53,901 --> 00:20:56,069
Look, I just want to be
with someone
765
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:58,738
who's as excited
and certain as I am
766
00:20:58,739 --> 00:20:59,906
about our future.
767
00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:01,441
And if you're not,
that's fine.
768
00:21:01,442 --> 00:21:02,842
Just let me know.
769
00:21:02,843 --> 00:21:05,511
Because honestly,
I'm gonna be fine
770
00:21:05,512 --> 00:21:06,879
no matter what happens.
771
00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:08,247
You will?
772
00:21:08,248 --> 00:21:10,083
Hold on.
Hold on.
773
00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:14,020
What if I want
to move in with you?
774
00:21:14,054 --> 00:21:16,389
Well, then you should
ask me sometime,
775
00:21:16,423 --> 00:21:18,758
when you're not
really, really nervous.
776
00:21:24,398 --> 00:21:26,232
[Rustling]
777
00:21:26,233 --> 00:21:27,233
[Groans]
778
00:21:27,234 --> 00:21:28,234
That's a good woman.
779
00:21:28,235 --> 00:21:29,869
You better hang on
to her.
780
00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:31,370
Get out
of my apartment.
781
00:21:31,405 --> 00:21:37,330
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
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782
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:41,930
Repair and Synchronization by
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