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1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:04,585
[Background chatter]
2
00:00:07,993 --> 00:00:10,719
You here?
Movie's starting!!!
3
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,354
[Phone buzzing]
In cab.
4
00:00:15,128 --> 00:00:18,026
Where are you?
All the fresh popcorn gone.
5
00:00:18,027 --> 00:00:19,861
It's kernel city.
6
00:00:19,862 --> 00:00:21,302
I'm in the crowd;
7
00:00:21,303 --> 00:00:24,098
You probably can't see me,
but I'm here.
8
00:00:24,099 --> 00:00:25,867
Where?
9
00:00:25,868 --> 00:00:27,827
That's it.
I'm leaving.
10
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,538
Sweetheart,
where have you been?
11
00:00:30,539 --> 00:00:32,106
I've been waiting here
this whole time!
12
00:00:32,141 --> 00:00:33,941
- Let's go in.
- No, no, no, no, no.
13
00:00:33,942 --> 00:00:36,443
It's The Godfather II,
the movie that raised me.
14
00:00:36,444 --> 00:00:38,112
If I'm not in my seat
before the trivia game,
15
00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:41,048
the whole film-going experience
is ruined for me, it's ruined.
16
00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:42,416
Baby, what are you
talking about?
17
00:00:42,450 --> 00:00:44,885
The whole film-going experience
is checking your phone,
18
00:00:44,886 --> 00:00:45,752
people watching,
19
00:00:45,753 --> 00:00:47,521
and over-the-pants make-out.
Honk!
20
00:00:47,522 --> 00:00:49,390
Hey, don't do that here.
Yeah, it was cool.
21
00:00:49,391 --> 00:00:50,591
All right, let's go,
come on.
22
00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:54,728
Hey, can we get two tickets,
one adult and one child?
23
00:00:54,762 --> 00:00:56,306
I'm sorry, we're sold out.
24
00:00:56,331 --> 00:00:57,798
(Both)
What?
25
00:00:57,799 --> 00:00:59,500
You've been here for an hour,
and you didn't buy tickets?
26
00:00:59,534 --> 00:01:01,401
(Danny) When's it playing next?
Tomorrow at noon.
27
00:01:01,435 --> 00:01:02,702
Tomorrow at noon.
Let's get out of here.
28
00:01:02,703 --> 00:01:04,103
How could anyone want to see
this movie?
29
00:01:04,104 --> 00:01:05,371
I've never even heard of it.
Okay, okay.
30
00:01:05,372 --> 00:01:07,006
You've never heard
of the godfather?
31
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,424
[Dance music]
32
00:01:09,425 --> 00:01:11,611
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
33
00:01:13,914 --> 00:01:15,081
Hey.
34
00:01:15,082 --> 00:01:17,717
Huh, according to my
genuine quartz accuracy,
35
00:01:17,718 --> 00:01:18,717
you're late.
36
00:01:18,719 --> 00:01:20,220
- What?
- You're late.
37
00:01:20,221 --> 00:01:21,487
I'm not late.
38
00:01:21,488 --> 00:01:23,856
It's 9:18,
which is practically 9:15,
39
00:01:23,857 --> 00:01:26,792
which is basically 9:00.
Danny, if anything, I'm early.
40
00:01:26,827 --> 00:01:28,660
Mindy, we've been dating
for seven months,
41
00:01:28,661 --> 00:01:30,129
and you're never on time
for anything.
42
00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:32,798
Okay,
occasionally being late
43
00:01:32,799 --> 00:01:35,634
is just part of my spontaneous
and fun deal, Danny.
44
00:01:35,635 --> 00:01:36,869
You have to take the bad
with the good.
45
00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:38,237
Why can't I just take
the good with the good,
46
00:01:38,238 --> 00:01:39,571
like you get with me?
47
00:01:39,572 --> 00:01:41,406
What are you talking about?
I have to go to church with you
48
00:01:41,407 --> 00:01:42,942
every sunday.
I'm not even catholic.
49
00:01:42,976 --> 00:01:44,309
Sweetheart, don't be mad.
50
00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:45,810
- Okay.
- Okay?
51
00:01:45,845 --> 00:01:47,946
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
52
00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:49,448
[Knocking at the door]
53
00:01:49,482 --> 00:01:51,883
Dr. Castellano,
do you have a moment?
54
00:01:51,884 --> 00:01:53,818
Dr. Fishman,
yes, of course!
55
00:01:53,853 --> 00:01:57,723
Oh, boy, pardon me for the mess.
I feel really...
56
00:01:57,757 --> 00:01:59,202
I'll move that.
57
00:01:59,225 --> 00:02:01,059
Embarrassed.
58
00:02:01,093 --> 00:02:02,661
Just kidding.
Real neatnik.
59
00:02:02,662 --> 00:02:04,595
Okay.
You want me to call the others?
60
00:02:04,596 --> 00:02:06,430
I'll just get 'em in here.
No, actually,
61
00:02:06,431 --> 00:02:08,633
- I just want to talk to you.
- Okay.
62
00:02:08,634 --> 00:02:11,435
There's a new mental health
seminar that I'm starting
63
00:02:11,436 --> 00:02:14,505
for at-risk hospital personnel.
Boom.
64
00:02:14,539 --> 00:02:17,174
I think you could benefit
by having an outlet
65
00:02:17,175 --> 00:02:18,576
for your uncomfortable
feelings.
66
00:02:18,577 --> 00:02:20,511
Wait a minute, my mental health
is perfect, okay?
67
00:02:20,545 --> 00:02:23,147
And I do have an outlet.
His name's father Francis,
68
00:02:23,148 --> 00:02:25,249
he's 97,
and he only speaks Latin.
69
00:02:25,283 --> 00:02:27,384
Stop it.
The last time I saw you,
70
00:02:27,385 --> 00:02:28,652
you threatened
to kill yourself
71
00:02:28,653 --> 00:02:30,373
because your girlfriend
kissed someone else.
72
00:02:30,388 --> 00:02:32,855
How are you and Dr. Lahiri
doing?
73
00:02:32,856 --> 00:02:34,624
You know, I'm worried
about the two of you.
74
00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:36,125
Oh, no, no, the only thing
you need to worry about
75
00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:38,533
is that I might murder her,
but other than that...
76
00:02:38,562 --> 00:02:40,897
That was a joke.
I was joking.
77
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:42,666
She's been late a lot
recently.
78
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:44,000
You know what,
don't worry about it.
79
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:45,134
Thank you for the brochure.
80
00:02:45,135 --> 00:02:46,635
I'm gonna take a look at it
right now.
81
00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:48,370
No, don't take a look at it.
Read it.
82
00:02:48,371 --> 00:02:49,871
I'm gonna... yeah,
I'm gonna read it, of course.
83
00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:52,574
Thank you so much,
Dr. Fishman.
84
00:02:54,377 --> 00:02:56,011
[Knocking at the door]
85
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:59,247
Hey, Dr. "P."
You're mad lonely, right?
86
00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:00,949
Oh, yeah.
Why?
87
00:03:00,950 --> 00:03:04,152
I want to set you up
I want to set you up
88
00:03:04,153 --> 00:03:05,153
-
Hey!
-
Up
89
00:03:05,154 --> 00:03:06,154
[laughter]
90
00:03:06,155 --> 00:03:07,154
With my best friend
Abby.
91
00:03:07,155 --> 00:03:09,056
Oh, cool.
So what's wrong with her?
92
00:03:09,090 --> 00:03:10,891
She's been looking
for a strong-ass man,
93
00:03:10,892 --> 00:03:12,460
but is now lowering
her standards,
94
00:03:12,494 --> 00:03:13,961
and I think
you'd be perfect.
95
00:03:13,995 --> 00:03:15,095
We're like twins.
96
00:03:15,096 --> 00:03:17,064
Twins, huh?
Okay.
97
00:03:17,098 --> 00:03:20,901
I gotta hit the gym, man,
steal me some soap.
98
00:03:20,936 --> 00:03:22,470
Yeah!
99
00:03:25,173 --> 00:03:28,408
[Laughter]
100
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,408
Evening.
101
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,077
My boyfriend,
Daniel Castellano,
102
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,946
made a reservation
for "LaffAboutIt:"
103
00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:35,048
A night of New York's best
Italian-American comedy.
104
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,583
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, great.
105
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:39,919
My ma's cooking's so bad,
I beg the dog for his scraps.
106
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,855
[Laughter]
107
00:03:41,856 --> 00:03:44,508
Well, well, looks like
I beat you here.
108
00:03:44,509 --> 00:03:48,395
Oh, no, look, look,
J.Lo's texting during my set?
109
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:51,029
Hey, J.Lo's, who you texting,
"Ben Afflecks"?
110
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,065
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
111
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,300
Actually, sir,
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck
112
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,335
broke up years ago.
113
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,671
Oh, well, good for her!
114
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,305
[Laughter]
115
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,807
I'll tell you something else...
116
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,665
[Phone buzzing]
What time is it?
117
00:04:03,666 --> 00:04:05,094
8.
118
00:04:05,095 --> 00:04:06,734
No, it's 8:10.
119
00:04:06,735 --> 00:04:08,979
I got tired of waiting
so I left.
120
00:04:10,576 --> 00:04:12,719
Haha. LOL. Hilarious.
121
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,453
- No joke. Have fun.
- You son of a b...
122
00:04:15,454 --> 00:04:16,955
What could be more compelling
than my set?
123
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,290
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
124
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,425
Oh, she's fighting
with her boyfriend, everybody!
125
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,826
[Audience oohs]
Okay...
126
00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:25,330
Oh, and he ditched her
for being chronically late.
127
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,065
Oh!
128
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,133
Maybe she should...
129
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,402
Take a hike!
Yeah!
130
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,337
(All)
Take a hike!
131
00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,906
Take a hike!
Take a hike!
132
00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:35,907
Take a hike!
133
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,375
You know what?
Do you know what?
134
00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:39,844
I will leave.
But I will never hike.
135
00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:42,179
- [Thwack]
- Ahh!
136
00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:44,482
Take a hike!
Take a hike!
137
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,036
Hello, hello, hello.
138
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,838
Have any beautiful women
of color checked in tonight?
139
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:51,205
Mm-mmm.
140
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,640
Blind date, huh?
141
00:04:52,641 --> 00:04:55,042
Uh, yeah.
I'm a little nervous.
142
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,710
[Giggles]
What's your date's name?
143
00:04:56,745 --> 00:04:58,079
Abby.
144
00:04:58,113 --> 00:04:59,480
My name is Abby.
145
00:04:59,481 --> 00:05:01,949
Oh, the Abby that I'm meeting
is actually, like,
146
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:03,885
really tall, gorgeous,
147
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,087
and, for lack of a better word,
African-American.
148
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,989
Oh.
Well, I'm meeting a doctor
149
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,323
who looks like meatloaf.
150
00:05:09,357 --> 00:05:10,491
- Oh.
- Or it might have been
151
00:05:10,492 --> 00:05:11,926
"a meatloaf."
I'm not sure.
152
00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:14,428
My friend Tamra
wasn't really clear.
153
00:05:14,462 --> 00:05:16,530
Tamra, huh?
154
00:05:17,866 --> 00:05:20,066
Well, uh, what do you do?
155
00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:22,202
Oh, I write historical
romance novels.
156
00:05:22,236 --> 00:05:23,937
- Oh, that's cool.
- Yeah.
157
00:05:23,938 --> 00:05:25,872
- I love to read.
- Oh.
158
00:05:25,873 --> 00:05:28,509
Well, you should give
romance novels a try.
159
00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:30,811
- Mm.
- And it's basically pornography
160
00:05:30,812 --> 00:05:32,546
you're allowed to read
on the subway, so...
161
00:05:32,547 --> 00:05:35,749
Oh, dang it!
Getting a text.
162
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,618
Looks like a patient's
going into labor,
163
00:05:37,652 --> 00:05:39,186
and there's no father,
164
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,883
so the taxi cab driver
is kind of the surrogate now,
165
00:05:41,889 --> 00:05:43,324
so I feel like I should...
166
00:05:43,325 --> 00:05:44,928
I'm sorry, are you describing
look who's talking?
167
00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:46,293
Oh, it's similar.
168
00:05:46,328 --> 00:05:47,993
This is why you don't want
to date me, you know?
169
00:05:47,994 --> 00:05:49,429
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good to meet you.
170
00:05:49,463 --> 00:05:50,663
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
171
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,202
Unbelievable.
9:13.
172
00:05:56,203 --> 00:05:58,304
Even after last night
you're still late?
173
00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:02,308
I'm giving you the silent
treatment, by the way.
174
00:06:02,309 --> 00:06:04,644
That's why I walked right by you
and didn't respond.
175
00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:07,380
Hey, hey, no one
silent-treatments me.
176
00:06:07,381 --> 00:06:08,814
Oh, good, good,
everyone's in here.
177
00:06:08,815 --> 00:06:11,249
- I was worried we'd have
- A private conversation for once.
178
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:13,318
You're welcome, Dr. "Q."
179
00:06:13,319 --> 00:06:14,853
Is it a conversation, Danny?
'Cause it feels
180
00:06:14,854 --> 00:06:16,688
a lot more like a lecture,
and not the good kind
181
00:06:16,689 --> 00:06:18,490
where I end up stalking
the professor at the end.
182
00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:20,392
- All I'm saying is,
- You're never late for a delivery
183
00:06:20,393 --> 00:06:22,227
or a hospital emergency,
but a movie?
184
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:23,729
A movie?
And suddenly,
185
00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:25,063
it's like I asked you
to cut off your arm
186
00:06:25,064 --> 00:06:26,431
or throw away your
own trash.
187
00:06:26,466 --> 00:06:28,799
Because delivering a baby
into this world is as important
188
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,934
as meeting my boyfriend
for a stupid movie.
189
00:06:30,969 --> 00:06:33,437
You and I do the same job.
I get everywhere on time.
190
00:06:33,438 --> 00:06:34,972
Yeah, 'cause you're a guy.
191
00:06:34,973 --> 00:06:36,073
I can't just deliver a baby,
192
00:06:36,074 --> 00:06:37,375
throw some talc
on my private parts,
193
00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:38,476
and be somewhere
three minutes later.
194
00:06:38,477 --> 00:06:39,943
I got to shower, my friend.
195
00:06:39,978 --> 00:06:42,112
I got to shave this hot body
from my ankles to my eyebrows.
196
00:06:42,146 --> 00:06:43,614
Also, I have to highlight
and contour everything
197
00:06:43,615 --> 00:06:44,915
just so that you'll
have sex with me.
198
00:06:44,916 --> 00:06:46,283
I'm basically C.G.I.
199
00:06:46,284 --> 00:06:47,917
Right, and you're forgetting
the most important part,
200
00:06:47,918 --> 00:06:49,419
Dr. "L," C.P.T.
201
00:06:49,453 --> 00:06:52,121
Thank you, Tamra, that's right.
Colored people time.
202
00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:53,155
Whoa, no, no, no.
(All) No.
203
00:06:53,156 --> 00:06:54,357
- What, no?
- No, no, no.
204
00:06:54,358 --> 00:06:57,560
I meant C.P.T.,
caramel princess time.
205
00:06:57,561 --> 00:06:59,863
When you're as cute as we are,
people wait for you.
206
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:00,963
I want to believe you.
207
00:07:00,964 --> 00:07:02,432
It does sound like
a huge load of crap.
208
00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:04,601
I'm not saying, "no," I just
need you to continue explaining.
209
00:07:04,602 --> 00:07:07,236
No, this is all nonsense, okay?
There's no C.P.T.
210
00:07:07,237 --> 00:07:09,438
You're either on time
or you're late.
211
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,207
- Ooh!
- Maybe if you were late just once,
212
00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:12,775
you would realize
it wasn't a big deal.
213
00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:14,843
Oh, yeah, well, that's never
gonna happen, sweetheart.
214
00:07:14,878 --> 00:07:16,012
I'm never gonna be late.
215
00:07:16,046 --> 00:07:17,947
[Clicks tongue]
Watch and learn.
216
00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:19,581
Hmm.
217
00:07:19,582 --> 00:07:20,682
(Tamra)
We need to talk to you!
218
00:07:20,683 --> 00:07:21,884
(Peter)
Ow... hey!
219
00:07:21,885 --> 00:07:23,152
Get on in there with
your stupid messenger bag!
220
00:07:23,153 --> 00:07:24,453
Hey, take it easy.
221
00:07:24,454 --> 00:07:26,655
Shameful. Dude,
how could you ditch Abby, man?
222
00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:30,690
She's the complete package:
Head, shoulders, knees, toes,
223
00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:32,759
knees and toes...
She's got it all.
224
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,462
I'm sorry, I was just
expecting someone...
225
00:07:35,463 --> 00:07:37,197
Who's more of a match
physically.
226
00:07:37,232 --> 00:07:39,866
A match physically?
You said twins.
227
00:07:39,867 --> 00:07:41,235
Who do you think you are?
What'd you think,
228
00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:42,803
Natalie Portman's sitting
in her castle,
229
00:07:42,804 --> 00:07:45,306
like, "oh, I wonder if there are
any schlubs out there
230
00:07:45,307 --> 00:07:46,840
who wear a bathing suit
as underwear?"
231
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,675
Natalie Portman would throw up
if she saw you.
232
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,261
You need to go
apologize to Abby.
233
00:07:50,278 --> 00:07:51,678
She'll be at the book store
tomorrow.
234
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,712
What are you gonna be doing,
eating pretzels off the floor?
235
00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:54,914
Yeah, I saw it.
236
00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:56,482
Fine, I'll go!
237
00:07:56,516 --> 00:08:01,687
[Snoring]
238
00:08:01,688 --> 00:08:03,423
[Whispering] Psst.
Danny, are you awake?
239
00:08:03,424 --> 00:08:05,325
- [Snoring]
- Hey, Danny,
240
00:08:05,326 --> 00:08:07,160
I think Rudy Giuliani's
a clown.
241
00:08:07,161 --> 00:08:10,763
[Snoring]
242
00:08:20,574 --> 00:08:22,741
Good night, sweet prince.
Honk!
243
00:08:22,742 --> 00:08:24,076
[Snorts]
244
00:08:27,146 --> 00:08:29,114
Hey, Min.
245
00:08:29,148 --> 00:08:30,282
- Hey!
- Hey.
246
00:08:30,316 --> 00:08:32,284
What's going on?
You're up early, wow.
247
00:08:32,318 --> 00:08:33,418
Why don't you come upstairs?
248
00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:35,020
My little early bird
can get the worm.
249
00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:37,122
Oh.
That's a super sexy offer,
250
00:08:37,123 --> 00:08:38,491
but it's 8:40.
251
00:08:38,492 --> 00:08:40,058
Aren't you worried
about being late to work?
252
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:41,093
8:40?
What are you talking about?
253
00:08:41,094 --> 00:08:42,427
- Yeah.
- No, no, it's 7:40.
254
00:08:42,428 --> 00:08:44,496
Oh, really?
255
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,500
You tinkered with my digital.
Why would you do that?
256
00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:50,368
Why would you do that to me?
Betrayal!
257
00:08:50,369 --> 00:08:51,769
Oh, boo-hoo.
You know what betrayal was?
258
00:08:51,770 --> 00:08:53,331
When you ditched me
at that comedy club.
259
00:08:53,338 --> 00:08:55,206
That guy told me to take a hike.
The audience loved it.
260
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,708
Now, he wants me to go
on tour with him.
261
00:08:56,742 --> 00:08:59,176
Don't worry, sweetheart.
I'll just tell everyone at work
262
00:08:59,177 --> 00:09:00,778
that you're running late.
Bye, my love.
263
00:09:00,779 --> 00:09:01,646
Step on it!
264
00:09:01,647 --> 00:09:02,814
Open the door.
Take off, take off.
265
00:09:02,815 --> 00:09:04,848
Open...
Don't take off.
266
00:09:04,849 --> 00:09:06,950
Taxi! Taxi!
267
00:09:06,951 --> 00:09:08,685
I'm not gonna be late.
I'm not...
268
00:09:10,855 --> 00:09:12,823
So I have to apologize
to a girl,
269
00:09:12,824 --> 00:09:14,392
which is something I've
literally never done before.
270
00:09:14,393 --> 00:09:16,093
- Mm-hmm.
- Is Danny in?
271
00:09:19,331 --> 00:09:21,198
Oh, Danny.
Danny is not in,
272
00:09:21,199 --> 00:09:22,933
because everyone,
I have an announcement.
273
00:09:22,967 --> 00:09:25,335
Danny Castellano
will be late.
274
00:09:25,336 --> 00:09:27,170
I made it!
I made it!
275
00:09:27,204 --> 00:09:29,439
Danny Castellano is on time!
276
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,341
- What...
- 8:59, I made it!
277
00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:33,010
In your face, Lahiri!
278
00:09:33,044 --> 00:09:34,144
- Honk!
- Ah!
279
00:09:34,178 --> 00:09:35,177
Can't make me late.
280
00:09:35,179 --> 00:09:36,547
Take a hike.
Boom!
281
00:09:36,548 --> 00:09:38,649
- Oh!
- Take another one, boom!
282
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:39,650
- Boom, boom!
- Oh!
283
00:09:39,684 --> 00:09:41,117
Take a hike.
Boom!
284
00:09:41,118 --> 00:09:43,253
Morgan, take a hike.
Boom! Boom!
285
00:09:43,287 --> 00:09:47,256
Michael Jackson!
Ohh!
286
00:09:47,257 --> 00:09:48,858
Boom, boom, boom!
287
00:09:50,761 --> 00:09:52,728
- Dr. Fishman.
- [Snaps fingers]
288
00:09:52,729 --> 00:09:55,011
Go talk in my office?
Yeah, let's talk in my office.
289
00:09:56,466 --> 00:09:59,468
Your emotional issues
are out of control,
290
00:09:59,469 --> 00:10:02,538
and I insist that you take that
mental health seminar tomorrow.
291
00:10:02,539 --> 00:10:04,873
Okay, as much as I don't
want to, I also can't.
292
00:10:04,907 --> 00:10:07,409
Saturdays, that's when I take
my ma to run all her errands.
293
00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:08,710
Well, here's the thing.
294
00:10:08,744 --> 00:10:11,480
Until you complete the seminar,
you are suspended
295
00:10:11,481 --> 00:10:13,648
from seeing patients
in my hospital.
296
00:10:13,683 --> 00:10:15,016
Get into that.
297
00:10:15,051 --> 00:10:16,785
[Sighs]
I'd rather not get into that.
298
00:10:16,786 --> 00:10:18,753
Well, take the course
at your leisure,
299
00:10:18,754 --> 00:10:22,391
whenever you find time to fit it
into your busy schedule.
300
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:24,659
Hmm? It takes place
in this building.
301
00:10:24,694 --> 00:10:27,462
In this building?
Who administers the course?
302
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:31,900
Only the most kind, dynamic,
spiritual man I know.
303
00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:34,035
Oh, no.
304
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:36,304
I've longed for this day,
Daniel,
305
00:10:36,338 --> 00:10:38,406
the day I can finally
fix you.
306
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:42,447
(Mindy)
Hey, babe.
307
00:10:42,448 --> 00:10:43,481
You.
308
00:10:43,482 --> 00:10:45,483
I can't even look at you.
309
00:10:45,517 --> 00:10:47,017
Deslaurier hugged me
on the way out,
310
00:10:47,018 --> 00:10:48,620
and I accidentally
kissed him on the ear.
311
00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:50,355
Oh, God.
Danny, I'm so sorry.
312
00:10:50,356 --> 00:10:51,723
This can't be worse
than the time
313
00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:53,558
that I shredded your passport
for confetti, is it?
314
00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,727
Oh, yeah, it's much worse, okay?
315
00:10:55,728 --> 00:10:58,062
I'm supposed to take ma to all
her appointments on Saturday.
316
00:10:58,063 --> 00:10:59,296
Without me, she won't go.
317
00:10:59,297 --> 00:11:01,265
A parent of divorce needs
routine, Mindy,
318
00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:02,266
- they need routine.
- I know.
319
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:04,168
- [Sighs]
- Well...
320
00:11:04,169 --> 00:11:05,402
You were just
running errands
321
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:06,737
and she was gonna get
her hair done, right?
322
00:11:06,772 --> 00:11:08,438
- Yeah.
- I could take her.
323
00:11:08,439 --> 00:11:10,307
I love beauty shops.
Please.
324
00:11:10,308 --> 00:11:12,442
Please let me make it up to you,
Danny, I feel so bad.
325
00:11:12,443 --> 00:11:14,145
You literally have
no other options.
326
00:11:16,014 --> 00:11:17,248
(Peter)
Whoa.
327
00:11:17,249 --> 00:11:19,048
What, is the dude that wrote
Harry Potter here?
328
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:21,151
No.
We're here for Abby Berman.
329
00:11:22,853 --> 00:11:24,720
Berman.
330
00:11:24,755 --> 00:11:27,791
(Abby's voice) "Savannah unbuttoned
Edmund's uniform trousers.
331
00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:29,558
"'Edmund Larouge!
332
00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:33,629
'I do believe we can take
Maryland with this saber.'"
333
00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:35,265
this is good.
334
00:11:35,266 --> 00:11:37,133
"'He don't deserve a burial.
335
00:11:37,134 --> 00:11:39,568
"He's a Yankee, '
Savannah hissed.
336
00:11:39,569 --> 00:11:42,905
"Edmund shook his head.
'He may have been a Yankee,
337
00:11:42,906 --> 00:11:45,140
but he was still a man.'"
338
00:11:45,141 --> 00:11:47,376
damn.
339
00:11:47,377 --> 00:11:49,278
Hey, you gonna buy that?
340
00:11:49,279 --> 00:11:51,246
Oh, Abby,
your book is so good.
341
00:11:51,247 --> 00:11:52,246
Yeah, I know.
342
00:11:52,248 --> 00:11:53,569
Did you come here
to tell me that?
343
00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,751
Actually, I-I came here
to apologize,
344
00:11:55,752 --> 00:11:58,020
but I've been reading your book,
and you have all these fans,
345
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,655
and I don't want to apologize.
I'd like to go out again.
346
00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:03,325
You ditched me because you
didn't like the way I looked.
347
00:12:03,359 --> 00:12:04,993
- [Women gasp]
- I know.
348
00:12:04,994 --> 00:12:06,661
- [Stammers]
- Listen,
349
00:12:06,696 --> 00:12:07,996
you're a jerk.
350
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,631
Yeah.
351
00:12:09,632 --> 00:12:11,633
Yeah, no, you're right
about that.
352
00:12:16,439 --> 00:12:17,439
Paul?
353
00:12:17,473 --> 00:12:18,573
Hey.
354
00:12:18,574 --> 00:12:20,007
How'd you get
dragged out of
355
00:12:20,008 --> 00:12:21,676
the blood lab for this?
356
00:12:21,711 --> 00:12:23,411
I'll tell you
when I figure it out.
357
00:12:23,412 --> 00:12:25,647
Nowadays, you fart too loud
and you got to go to counseling.
358
00:12:25,648 --> 00:12:27,549
Yeah, tell me about it,
brother.
359
00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:31,252
All right, everyone.
Oh, Daniel.
360
00:12:31,253 --> 00:12:33,521
Let's get started.
361
00:12:33,522 --> 00:12:36,558
Thank you, welcome,
and of course, namaste.
362
00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:38,259
I am overjoyed
that you've decided
363
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:39,760
to share your time
with me today.
364
00:12:39,794 --> 00:12:42,296
Oh, I didn't realize
we had a choice.
365
00:12:42,331 --> 00:12:43,865
Well, we always have
a choice, Daniel.
366
00:12:43,899 --> 00:12:44,999
Does that follow?
367
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:47,268
Yeah, Danny,
does that follow?
368
00:12:47,302 --> 00:12:50,204
That's humorous, gentlemen.
Paul, would you care to share
369
00:12:50,205 --> 00:12:52,473
the choice that resulted
in your attendance here today?
370
00:12:52,474 --> 00:12:54,141
Yeah, I got nothing to hide.
371
00:12:54,142 --> 00:12:55,709
I've been stealing blood
from the hospital
372
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:56,944
for my own personal use.
373
00:12:56,945 --> 00:12:58,145
Wait, what?
374
00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,612
Okay, you think that's bad?
375
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,781
My female boss
is in love with me.
376
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,616
Oh, Morgan, what the hell
are you doing here?
377
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,886
Also, I'm addicted
to cookies.
378
00:13:05,887 --> 00:13:07,020
My name's Morgan.
379
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,855
Daniel, are you feeling
safe enough
380
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,290
to share why you're here today?
381
00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:11,657
Wait, what?
No.
382
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,126
No, I'm not feeling
safe enough.
383
00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:14,761
Don't lump me in
with these freaks, okay?
384
00:13:14,762 --> 00:13:16,329
I'm a normal.
Pass.
385
00:13:16,364 --> 00:13:18,464
Well, you're free to go
anytime.
386
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,966
I won't stand in your way.
387
00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:21,533
All right,
see you later, Paul.
388
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,369
I am, however, going to
give you an incomplete
389
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,470
and recommend
further mental evaluation.
390
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,206
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
391
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,008
Namaste.
392
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,076
(Mindy) Hey, Annette,
you need any help in there?
393
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,678
Help?
How old do you think I am?
394
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,647
We're not that different
in age, you know.
395
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:37,716
Um, you are the oldest person
I know's mother,
396
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,351
so that's obviously not true.
Okay.
397
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:42,321
All right, you know,
just take your time.
398
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,223
Ah, hello, Dot.
399
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,957
It's so nice that you can
join us on our errands.
400
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:49,092
I could drive us if they hadn't
taken my license away.
401
00:13:49,093 --> 00:13:51,929
I ran over my neighbor's
basset hound, big whoop.
402
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,496
Call me when it's a person.
403
00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:55,098
Okay, well...
404
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:56,666
God, I don't know why Danny
gave us an hour
405
00:13:56,667 --> 00:13:58,701
to get to the hair salon.
It's only five minutes away.
406
00:13:58,736 --> 00:14:01,371
[Gasps]
Oh, my goodness!
407
00:14:01,406 --> 00:14:03,974
Dot, will you look at us!
Twins!
408
00:14:03,975 --> 00:14:05,375
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!
409
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:07,244
What are the chances
of that happening?
410
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:09,046
Yes, that is remarkable.
411
00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:10,047
Hey, we should head out.
Come on.
412
00:14:10,048 --> 00:14:11,548
Oh, no, Mindy,
take a picture.
413
00:14:11,549 --> 00:14:12,615
- Oh, yeah!
- You got to capture this
414
00:14:12,616 --> 00:14:13,850
and email it to me,
415
00:14:13,851 --> 00:14:15,919
and then print out the email
and hand it to me.
416
00:14:15,953 --> 00:14:17,386
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do it, okay.
417
00:14:17,387 --> 00:14:18,287
Ready.
418
00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:19,322
One, two, three.
419
00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:20,356
(Both)
Cheese!
420
00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:21,958
Got it.
Let's go, come on, guys.
421
00:14:21,992 --> 00:14:23,292
Oh, no, I got to go change.
422
00:14:23,327 --> 00:14:24,594
[Both murmuring]
423
00:14:24,595 --> 00:14:26,463
Wha... oh,
you're gonna chance, okay.
424
00:14:29,733 --> 00:14:31,300
Please look
into your partner's eyes
425
00:14:31,335 --> 00:14:33,289
and repeat after me.
"I support you."
426
00:14:33,302 --> 00:14:34,770
I support you.
427
00:14:34,771 --> 00:14:36,705
- No way.
- Brendan, he's not doing it.
428
00:14:36,706 --> 00:14:38,474
Daniel, I've given you
a pass so far,
429
00:14:38,475 --> 00:14:40,141
but your participation
is now required
430
00:14:40,142 --> 00:14:41,309
for the class to continue.
431
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:43,712
Fine, whatever.
I support him.
432
00:14:43,713 --> 00:14:44,980
Think I'm cured.
433
00:14:44,981 --> 00:14:48,116
Okay, now,
"I love and care for you."
434
00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:50,051
I want to make love
and care for you.
435
00:14:50,086 --> 00:14:51,286
Okay, come on!
436
00:14:51,287 --> 00:14:52,420
Brendan,
he's not helping me.
437
00:14:52,421 --> 00:14:54,189
You want to switch partners?
My lady hates me.
438
00:14:54,190 --> 00:14:55,791
- No.
- Look...
439
00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,224
[Sighs]
440
00:14:57,225 --> 00:14:58,392
I love and care for you.
441
00:14:58,426 --> 00:15:00,595
Thank you.
I felt nothing.
442
00:15:00,596 --> 00:15:02,763
Because I didn't mean it, okay?
I didn't mean it.
443
00:15:02,764 --> 00:15:04,599
You're weird, okay?
You're weird, Morgan.
444
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:06,834
The whole thing is weird.
You wanna stop acting crazy?
445
00:15:06,835 --> 00:15:09,370
Eat lean protein
and exercise ten times a week
446
00:15:09,371 --> 00:15:10,872
like a normal person!
447
00:15:10,873 --> 00:15:13,608
Okay, I can see now
that this sort of group therapy
448
00:15:13,609 --> 00:15:16,744
is too basic for someone
as closed-off as you.
449
00:15:16,745 --> 00:15:21,281
I'm gonna work on you now,
one-on-one.
450
00:15:21,316 --> 00:15:22,883
(Mindy) All right,
you got your hair done.
451
00:15:22,884 --> 00:15:25,552
It's mammogram time,
even though we are an hour late.
452
00:15:25,553 --> 00:15:27,121
- [Sighs]
- Come on, come on.
453
00:15:27,122 --> 00:15:28,222
And I don't even know
how I feel
454
00:15:28,223 --> 00:15:29,756
about this hairstyle
that you made me get.
455
00:15:29,757 --> 00:15:32,792
This is the only time
you ever looked pretty.
456
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,461
Mindy, you're late.
457
00:15:34,462 --> 00:15:35,762
[Whispering]
I can't see her.
458
00:15:35,796 --> 00:15:38,365
Carolyn, I am so sorry,
but you have to understand.
459
00:15:38,366 --> 00:15:39,933
It took them forever
to leave the house.
460
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:41,167
Then we went to the hair salon.
461
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,003
They made me get
this Dixie Carter hairstyle.
462
00:15:43,004 --> 00:15:45,505
The point is, this woman
needs to get a mammogram.
463
00:15:45,506 --> 00:15:47,373
I promised my boyfriend.
Please.
464
00:15:47,374 --> 00:15:49,676
I'd love to, but I'm on my way
to cardio barre.
465
00:15:49,677 --> 00:15:51,310
Are you kidding me with this,
Carolyn?
466
00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,246
I picked you up off the floor
of that conference
467
00:15:53,247 --> 00:15:54,447
after you had
a thousand margaritas.
468
00:15:54,481 --> 00:15:55,515
[Whispering]
You are not gonna
469
00:15:55,516 --> 00:15:56,583
play that card!
I will play that card.
470
00:15:56,584 --> 00:15:58,952
Oh, my God.
Fine, I'll do it.
471
00:15:58,986 --> 00:16:00,053
Thank you.
472
00:16:00,087 --> 00:16:03,789
Hey, how's Dr. Prentice?
He never called.
473
00:16:03,790 --> 00:16:05,758
Peter?
Oh, God.
474
00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:08,127
Okay, well, you dodged a bullet
with that one.
475
00:16:08,128 --> 00:16:09,295
Thank you.
I'm sorry that I had to
476
00:16:09,296 --> 00:16:11,030
- blackmail you.
- Whatever.
477
00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:15,435
Well, you just witnessed
the classic Mindy Lahiri charm.
478
00:16:15,436 --> 00:16:17,136
That's how I got
my freshman year R.A.
479
00:16:17,137 --> 00:16:19,405
To kiss me, even though
he was gay, so...
480
00:16:19,406 --> 00:16:22,308
Well, we've just been talking,
and I don't want to go anymore.
481
00:16:22,309 --> 00:16:24,142
It's too late
and I'm too tired.
482
00:16:24,143 --> 00:16:25,611
Excuse me?
483
00:16:25,612 --> 00:16:27,546
I heard that mammogram machines
actually give you cancer.
484
00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:28,714
[Gasps]
Oh!
485
00:16:28,715 --> 00:16:30,248
That's right,
I think Jenny McCarthy
486
00:16:30,249 --> 00:16:31,283
said that on the view.
487
00:16:31,284 --> 00:16:32,718
Oh, well, there you go.
Why would she say
488
00:16:32,719 --> 00:16:34,453
something like that
if it wasn't true?
489
00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:35,588
Hey, I'm gonna
kill you guys.
490
00:16:35,589 --> 00:16:37,590
I'm serious.
You two bozos
491
00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:40,125
are the most inconsiderate
people that I have ever met!
492
00:16:40,159 --> 00:16:41,560
You're late for everything,
493
00:16:41,561 --> 00:16:43,586
you don't care about
anybody's time but your own.
494
00:16:43,597 --> 00:16:46,631
I can't believe it.
I simply can't believe it.
495
00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:47,699
It is appalling.
496
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,000
No wonder Danny is
such a tight-ass.
497
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,167
- [Gasps]
- Okay,
498
00:16:50,168 --> 00:16:51,636
you're gonna go with me.
499
00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:52,803
What are you doing?
500
00:16:52,805 --> 00:16:54,271
Hey, look at me!
You're gonna go in there,
501
00:16:54,272 --> 00:16:55,389
you're gonna take
your shirt off,
502
00:16:55,407 --> 00:16:57,308
and you're gonna get
your mammogram!
503
00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:58,710
We're ready to go.
504
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,480
[Sobs]
505
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,649
[Both sob]
506
00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:08,855
So, your particular episode
507
00:17:08,856 --> 00:17:10,605
was the result of a fight
508
00:17:10,606 --> 00:17:12,707
between you and your girlfriend,
who... full disclosure, class...
509
00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:14,542
I've made love to
on numerous occasions.
510
00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:16,111
Why did that need
to be said?
511
00:17:16,145 --> 00:17:18,914
And the fight started simply
because she was late to...
512
00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:21,516
Which particular ethnic
exploitation film?
513
00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:23,718
The godfather: Part ii.
Right, well,
514
00:17:23,719 --> 00:17:25,453
if it's not Swedish,
I'm not too familiar with it.
515
00:17:25,488 --> 00:17:27,256
But, who cares?
She's late,
516
00:17:27,257 --> 00:17:28,690
and you miss the film.
What's the big deal?
517
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:30,125
It's just principle.
518
00:17:30,126 --> 00:17:31,692
If you're late,
it's disrespectful.
519
00:17:31,693 --> 00:17:33,227
I don't buy it.
Why did this
520
00:17:33,228 --> 00:17:35,897
particular infraction
lead you to lash out?
521
00:17:35,898 --> 00:17:37,231
[Sighs]
Oh, come on, Deslaurier,
522
00:17:37,232 --> 00:17:39,000
I was just mad.
Well, what's the big deal?
523
00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:40,034
What's the worst
that could happen?
524
00:17:40,068 --> 00:17:41,402
My time is wasted, okay?
525
00:17:41,403 --> 00:17:42,536
I'm sitting out there
in the cold,
526
00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:44,038
I'm embarrassed.
I feel foolish.
527
00:17:44,072 --> 00:17:45,373
I don't buy it.
528
00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:47,208
What's the worst
that could happen?
529
00:17:49,744 --> 00:17:52,213
I don't know, maybe she
doesn't show up at all.
530
00:17:52,247 --> 00:17:55,416
Why would she not show up?
531
00:17:55,417 --> 00:17:57,384
Because it's happened
before.
532
00:17:57,419 --> 00:17:58,352
Keep going.
533
00:17:58,353 --> 00:18:00,721
[Scoffs]
Fine, I...
534
00:18:00,722 --> 00:18:04,925
Maybe I was supposed to go see
the Ghostbusters with my dad.
535
00:18:04,926 --> 00:18:07,561
He told me he was gonna take me,
and maybe I just sat on my porch
536
00:18:07,562 --> 00:18:09,162
and I waited for him
all night long
537
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:11,298
and he never showed up.
And maybe
538
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:13,099
I walked to the theater
by myself
539
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:16,737
and the only tickets
they had left was Amadeus.
540
00:18:16,771 --> 00:18:17,838
Mm.
541
00:18:17,839 --> 00:18:20,240
I was supposed to see Egon
and Slimer and Ray,
542
00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:22,710
and instead, I'm looking
at F. Murray Abraham's face.
543
00:18:22,711 --> 00:18:24,577
No kid should have to look
at that thing close up.
544
00:18:24,578 --> 00:18:27,146
I mean, if you love someone,
if you really love someone,
545
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:30,149
why would you keep 'em waiting?
Why would you keep 'em waiting!
546
00:18:37,424 --> 00:18:39,158
Okay, I think there's more.
Keep going.
547
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:40,827
No, that's it.
That's bedrock.
548
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,462
No, tell me about the priest.
There has to be a priest.
549
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,830
What priest?
[Phone buzzing]
550
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,666
I think my problem is,
I like stealing the blood.
551
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,533
Okay, not now, Paul.
552
00:18:47,534 --> 00:18:49,601
Okay, this is ma,
I gotta go.
553
00:18:49,602 --> 00:18:52,006
Oh, the priest and a mother.
We have hit pay dirt.
554
00:18:52,038 --> 00:18:54,673
Save that for next session,
but for now, I am proud of you.
555
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:57,542
(Abby)
Hope, faith, and...
556
00:18:59,212 --> 00:19:00,479
Peter, what are you
doing here?
557
00:19:00,513 --> 00:19:01,914
Hello.
558
00:19:01,915 --> 00:19:03,949
I've written a story
I'd like to read to you all.
559
00:19:03,950 --> 00:19:07,686
It's called a Titanic mistake:
A sunken romance.
560
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,487
Can you guess
where it takes place?
561
00:19:09,488 --> 00:19:10,355
The Titanic?
562
00:19:10,356 --> 00:19:11,990
It's on the Titanic.
563
00:19:11,991 --> 00:19:14,359
"Chapter one.
Dr. Peter Prentice was
564
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,661
"an expert in medicine
but a novice in love...
565
00:19:17,662 --> 00:19:20,398
Until he met Abby."
Are you hooked?
566
00:19:20,399 --> 00:19:22,500
Um, just keep reading.
567
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:24,635
Okay.
568
00:19:24,636 --> 00:19:27,838
"The old captain said,
'arr, have ya ever heard
569
00:19:27,839 --> 00:19:30,207
"'that women are like
that iceberg over there?
570
00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:32,543
"'The most important part
is under the surface.'
571
00:19:32,577 --> 00:19:35,479
"Peter replied, stupidly:
'I say ignore it.
572
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,015
'We'll be fine.
Crash!"
573
00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:39,617
That's not
historically accurate.
574
00:19:39,618 --> 00:19:41,719
Hey, I'm sorry,
were you there, John waters?
575
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,521
Maybe just skip forward
a little bit.
576
00:19:43,522 --> 00:19:45,222
[Whispering]
I'm sorry.
577
00:19:45,256 --> 00:19:47,991
And propelled by love
and the dolphin
578
00:19:47,992 --> 00:19:50,660
set up in chapter three...
You remember the dolphin?
579
00:19:50,661 --> 00:19:52,362
You remember
when I set up the dolphin...
580
00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:55,232
"They swam to safety.
The end."
581
00:19:55,233 --> 00:19:56,904
Well, that was terrible.
582
00:19:58,202 --> 00:20:00,570
But I-I kind of liked it.
583
00:20:00,571 --> 00:20:01,571
Yeah?
584
00:20:01,572 --> 00:20:02,906
Yeah.
585
00:20:02,907 --> 00:20:04,241
You want to go out
on another date?
586
00:20:04,242 --> 00:20:05,909
Okay, sure.
587
00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:07,311
Great.
588
00:20:07,312 --> 00:20:08,378
You know,
this was kind of fun.
589
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:09,646
I think I'll come back
next week.
590
00:20:09,647 --> 00:20:11,714
Oh, no.
You can never return.
591
00:20:11,715 --> 00:20:13,316
Okay, no problem.
592
00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:15,251
Bye, new friends.
593
00:20:15,285 --> 00:20:17,219
You think you outsmarted me?
594
00:20:17,254 --> 00:20:18,855
I'm not going anywhere!
595
00:20:18,856 --> 00:20:21,390
Hey.
Who are you talking to?
596
00:20:21,425 --> 00:20:22,926
I've been locked out.
597
00:20:22,927 --> 00:20:25,294
The old Castellano lock-out,
huh?
598
00:20:25,295 --> 00:20:29,398
Yeah, I spent a lot of nights
on this porch.
599
00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:31,568
Hey,
I need to apologize to you.
600
00:20:31,569 --> 00:20:33,302
You're not some crusty
old tyrant
601
00:20:33,303 --> 00:20:34,537
who enjoys yelling at me.
602
00:20:34,538 --> 00:20:36,138
You have to be this way,
because you were raised
603
00:20:36,139 --> 00:20:37,573
by a bunch of thoughtless
spaghetti-heads...
604
00:20:37,574 --> 00:20:38,941
- Shh.
- Who have no consideration
605
00:20:38,942 --> 00:20:40,109
for anyone else's time.
606
00:20:40,143 --> 00:20:41,243
[Whispering]
Don't say "spaghetti-head."
607
00:20:41,244 --> 00:20:42,711
I'm sorry I called them
spaghetti-heads.
608
00:20:42,712 --> 00:20:44,313
I heard someone say it
on a "Nick at night" show.
609
00:20:44,314 --> 00:20:45,681
- Is it offensive?
- Yes, it is,
610
00:20:45,682 --> 00:20:48,117
but I-I-I appreciate it.
611
00:20:48,118 --> 00:20:49,385
Okay.
612
00:20:49,386 --> 00:20:53,322
I also... I think I...
I sometimes...
613
00:20:53,323 --> 00:20:56,725
I overreact
to you being late.
614
00:20:56,726 --> 00:20:59,095
Because of some stuff
with my dad.
615
00:20:59,096 --> 00:21:02,465
Oh.
616
00:21:02,466 --> 00:21:05,222
I would like to press further
for details, but I won't.
617
00:21:05,234 --> 00:21:06,601
Thank you.
618
00:21:06,602 --> 00:21:09,770
Anyway, I'm very sorry,
and I will never be late again.
619
00:21:09,771 --> 00:21:11,639
I mean, I'm gonna
really try not to be.
620
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,274
Come here.
621
00:21:14,776 --> 00:21:17,345
I like you
on a Staten Island porch.
622
00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:20,014
I would rather die.
623
00:21:20,015 --> 00:21:22,617
We need to go inside.
I have to apologize to your mom,
624
00:21:22,618 --> 00:21:25,152
- and Dot, for some reason.
- Okay.
625
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:28,222
I'm really liking that hair.
It's doing it for me right now.
626
00:21:28,223 --> 00:21:29,189
You look like my aunt.
627
00:21:29,190 --> 00:21:30,525
What?
628
00:21:30,526 --> 00:21:32,326
What's wrong
with you spaghetti-heads?
629
00:21:32,376 --> 00:21:36,926
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