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1
00:00:01,484 --> 00:00:03,818
(Mindy) One of the best things
about new relationships is
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00:00:03,853 --> 00:00:05,321
you spend so much time together
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00:00:05,322 --> 00:00:07,189
that you feel like you're of one mind.
4
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:09,058
Hey, what do you wanna do tonight?
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00:00:09,059 --> 00:00:12,728
- I was thinking maybe Thai food...
- Sex on the washing machine.
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00:00:12,729 --> 00:00:15,464
Okay.
Sounds good to me.
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00:00:15,465 --> 00:00:17,633
Really?
See, one mind.
8
00:00:17,634 --> 00:00:19,602
Okay, I better head out
to my c-section.
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00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:22,332
It's a cute one.
Two twins are hugging, Danny.
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00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,407
That sounds adorable.
Don't forget your stuff.
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00:00:24,408 --> 00:00:27,154
My toothbrush and brush? I thought
I would just leave that here.
12
00:00:27,155 --> 00:00:29,102
I don't know if you
wanna do that, you know?
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00:00:29,103 --> 00:00:31,237
It might just get lost in my clutter.
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00:00:31,272 --> 00:00:32,472
Clutter?
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00:00:32,473 --> 00:00:34,139
This place is tidy
like a serial killer's lair.
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00:00:34,175 --> 00:00:35,642
I like to keep everything
in its place:
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00:00:35,643 --> 00:00:39,111
My compact disc, my balsamics,
my seat from Yankee stadium.
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00:00:39,146 --> 00:00:42,047
Oh, that old bench
where I cut my toenails?
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00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,949
Next to you, that's
the most valuable thing I own.
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00:00:43,985 --> 00:00:47,921
It even has vintage curse words
carved in it.
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00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,590
I did those.
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00:00:50,591 --> 00:00:51,590
Take your stuff.
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00:00:51,592 --> 00:00:55,294
[Sighs] Fine.
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00:00:55,329 --> 00:00:58,365
(Mindy) So if Danny won't let
me keep some of my things here,
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00:00:58,366 --> 00:01:00,566
I'll have to take matters
into my own hands.
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There you go, sweetheart.
Aw.
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00:01:04,805 --> 00:01:05,872
How...
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00:01:05,873 --> 00:01:07,007
(Mindy) And since that didn't work,
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I'll find even more creative places.
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Here you go, babe.
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(Mindy) Until finally I put them
in a place he'll never find them.
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Hey.
[Screams]
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I don't know how this stuff
got out here.
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00:01:28,629 --> 00:01:30,563
Here you go.
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00:01:30,564 --> 00:01:33,133
You know, Danny, I'm spending
a lot of nights here,
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and it's getting a little tiring
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lugging my stuff back and forth.
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You know what, I've actually been
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00:01:37,371 --> 00:01:39,005
thinking about the same thing.
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00:01:39,006 --> 00:01:41,268
Oh.
Come here, check this out.
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00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:45,844
Half of your closet?
For me?
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00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:46,982
Ma gave this to me
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when she sent me
to divorced kids camp.
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There's plenty of room in there.
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00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:53,753
You can wheel your stuff
back and forth.
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00:01:53,754 --> 00:01:55,422
That's a very nice gift, Danny.
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Hey, it's a loan.
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[Wheels squeaking]
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00:02:03,197 --> 00:02:05,231
See you later.
Have a good day.
50
00:02:05,232 --> 00:02:07,267
You didn't, uh...
51
00:02:07,268 --> 00:02:08,467
You gotta put your stuff in it, Min.
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00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:13,029
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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00:02:13,030 --> 00:02:17,177
There are five signs
of low-grade squamous lesion.
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00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,212
I chose this graphic
of a cool dolphin though,
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00:02:19,213 --> 00:02:20,213
because someone very close to me
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00:02:20,214 --> 00:02:21,514
told me that lesions are gross.
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00:02:21,515 --> 00:02:23,116
Oh, I just got a shout-out.
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00:02:23,117 --> 00:02:24,284
Anyway...
I'm so sorry.
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00:02:24,285 --> 00:02:25,986
After the presentation,
is there a limit
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00:02:25,987 --> 00:02:26,986
on bagels per person?
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00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,121
Because head count-wise, I
don't think we have enough.
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00:02:29,156 --> 00:02:30,323
I'm not doing questions,
and I told you
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not to depend on food at work
for sustenance.
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00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:33,492
He's just picking the seeds off.
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00:02:33,527 --> 00:02:35,094
It was an everything bagel.
Now it's nothing.
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00:02:35,129 --> 00:02:36,628
He's not wrong to be concerned.
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00:02:36,664 --> 00:02:38,565
Great, now people are raising
their hands. Yeah?
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00:02:38,566 --> 00:02:40,367
Are you Mindy Lahiri?
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00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,868
I am.
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00:02:41,869 --> 00:02:43,136
Are you from McFadden's steakhouse?
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00:02:43,137 --> 00:02:45,805
Did you find my shoe?
No.
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You've been served.
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00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:48,741
(Man) Wow.
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00:02:48,776 --> 00:02:51,277
Mindy, you haven't
paid your taxes in six years.
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00:02:51,278 --> 00:02:52,278
What?
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00:02:52,279 --> 00:02:53,645
No wonder they want to lock you up.
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00:02:53,681 --> 00:02:55,814
I thought they took it
out of our paychecks.
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00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:57,217
Hey, tax evasion is a serious crime.
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You're stealing from America.
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Are you proud of yourself,
stealing from the grand canyon?
81
00:03:00,688 --> 00:03:01,688
The liberty bell?
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00:03:01,689 --> 00:03:03,723
The liberty bell is a piece of crap.
83
00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:04,858
There's a crack right down the middle.
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00:03:04,859 --> 00:03:06,026
And you know what?
(Danny) What?
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00:03:06,027 --> 00:03:07,793
That was jacked up
well before I hit the scene.
86
00:03:07,828 --> 00:03:09,529
You're trying to tell me
that you all pay your taxes?
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00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:10,596
(All) Yes.
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00:03:10,631 --> 00:03:12,399
I actually don't have to pay
income taxes
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00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,301
because my salary puts me
under the poverty level.
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00:03:15,302 --> 00:03:17,469
I can't hear about your economic
issues. [Tiny violin sound]
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00:03:17,505 --> 00:03:19,204
Poor baby!
How is that your reaction?
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00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,908
Mindy, your biggest asset
is your stake in this practice.
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00:03:21,909 --> 00:03:24,477
If the government
puts a lien on your earnings,
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00:03:24,478 --> 00:03:25,945
it's gonna affect us all.
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00:03:25,946 --> 00:03:27,781
Damn it, Mindy, you can't make
a mess and ignore it
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00:03:27,782 --> 00:03:29,416
and just expect it to get cleaned up.
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00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:30,649
It affects other people.
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00:03:30,684 --> 00:03:32,852
Like the time she left
my faucet on all weekend.
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00:03:32,853 --> 00:03:34,054
Because the earth isn't covered
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00:03:34,055 --> 00:03:35,555
with a million oceans, Danny.
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00:03:35,556 --> 00:03:36,856
Wherever will we get more water?
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00:03:36,857 --> 00:03:39,059
No, no, no. I can't hear about
this faucet thing anymore.
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00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:40,626
Mindy, you're gonna have
to get a lawyer.
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00:03:40,661 --> 00:03:42,328
Oh, wait.
I did get a lawyer
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to take care of this months ago.
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Oh, okay.
All right.
107
00:03:45,032 --> 00:03:47,100
Oh, God.
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00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,167
What?
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00:03:48,202 --> 00:03:52,872
Well, well, well, well,
well, well, , well, well,
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00:03:52,873 --> 00:03:55,541
well, well, well, well, well...
Okay, that's enough.
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Cliff, you said you were gonna
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00:03:56,911 --> 00:03:57,904
take care of this.
Yeah, and you said
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00:03:57,912 --> 00:03:58,912
you weren't gonna cheat on me
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with Danny, and then dumped me.
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00:04:00,381 --> 00:04:01,448
Okay, I would never have said that.
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00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:04,150
That would have
sounded very suspicious.
117
00:04:04,151 --> 00:04:07,787
Look, Cliff. I am very sorry
that I hurt you. But...
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00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:09,089
Can't you just take care of this
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00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:11,256
for old time's sake?
No.
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00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:12,559
Could you take care of this
for that time
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00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,128
we did it in the wax museum?
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00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,297
That wasn't me.
Wha... really?
123
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:19,298
Okay, that was Danny.
Okay, I am so sorry.
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00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,333
All right, just at least give me
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00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:21,468
my receipts and my papers back.
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00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,503
No, Mindy. I think the
universe should punish you.
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00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:24,571
Why do you get everything you want?
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00:04:24,572 --> 00:04:25,705
I mean, I help you out with this
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00:04:25,706 --> 00:04:26,706
and you still get to date the guy
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00:04:26,707 --> 00:04:27,807
that you cheated on me with?
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00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:28,908
So what are you saying?
That you would
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00:04:28,909 --> 00:04:30,710
help me if I wasn't dating Danny?
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00:04:30,711 --> 00:04:33,646
Well, I don't kn-know.
I mean...
134
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:36,249
What are you saying?
Did you two...
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00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:38,016
Break up?
136
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:45,124
Yes. Yes, we did break up.
137
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,893
And Danny cheated on me.
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00:04:49,899 --> 00:04:51,565
I couldn't live with Danny's betrayal,
139
00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:53,802
so we broke up. Oh, my God. I didn't...
I didn't know that.
140
00:04:53,803 --> 00:04:56,304
It's been horrible, Cliff,
just horrible.
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00:04:56,305 --> 00:04:57,305
I've completely stopped eating,
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00:04:57,306 --> 00:04:58,840
as you can tell.
I'm so thin.
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00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,509
God, it's cold in here.
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00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:03,378
And they even said they might
take away the practice.
145
00:05:03,379 --> 00:05:04,679
But you know what I think?
146
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:09,818
The world has a way of being
so unkind to people like us...
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00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:13,221
People who just want to love.
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00:05:13,222 --> 00:05:14,422
You're right.
149
00:05:14,423 --> 00:05:16,091
You're right, Mindy.
I-I didn't know
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00:05:16,092 --> 00:05:17,692
that you were going
through all of this,
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00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,394
and I can certainly relate to it.
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00:05:19,395 --> 00:05:21,396
And I'm surprised
that you feel comfortable
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00:05:21,397 --> 00:05:22,630
sharing this with me.
154
00:05:22,665 --> 00:05:23,832
So comfortable.
155
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:26,501
I actually just farted.
156
00:05:26,502 --> 00:05:27,502
All right, you know what?
157
00:05:27,503 --> 00:05:28,670
Maybe I'm crazy, but I'll do it.
158
00:05:28,671 --> 00:05:30,739
I'll take your tax case.
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00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:31,773
You will?
Yeah.
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00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:33,308
Oh, my God.
Cliff, thank you
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00:05:33,309 --> 00:05:34,976
so, so much.
I can never
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re-pay you, and I don't plan to.
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00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:37,511
I know.
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00:05:41,184 --> 00:05:45,986
Um, Peter, could I squeeze
by and get to the cabinet?
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00:05:46,022 --> 00:05:50,926
Just without my daily
vitamin, my vision blurs.
166
00:05:50,927 --> 00:05:52,494
No worries, man.
I got it for you.
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00:05:52,495 --> 00:05:54,094
Oh...
Can I get you anything else
168
00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:55,497
while I'm in the cab?
169
00:05:55,498 --> 00:05:56,798
We got Mindy's osteoporosis chews,
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00:05:56,799 --> 00:05:58,266
in case you wanna keep your bone
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00:05:58,267 --> 00:05:59,734
game tight.
Thank you.
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00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:05,941
Wow, Pete. You're being
really nice to that guy
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00:06:05,942 --> 00:06:08,034
who was just playing
tonsil hockey with your girl.
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00:06:08,044 --> 00:06:09,778
I will have you know that Lauren and I
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00:06:09,779 --> 00:06:10,978
have never been better.
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00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:12,205
And what happened with her and Jeremy,
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00:06:12,215 --> 00:06:13,315
that was a crazy time.
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The leaves were changing.
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Everyone was psyched about
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00:06:15,451 --> 00:06:16,784
the new fall shows.
I don't know, Pete.
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00:06:16,819 --> 00:06:18,620
Your kisses are for three things...
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00:06:18,621 --> 00:06:19,754
Your ma, your girl,
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00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,756
and your wrestling coach
after you win regionals.
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00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,800
It ain't a real kiss
if it's above the belt.
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00:06:23,826 --> 00:06:26,994
Yes. Thank you, Beverly.
Thank you.
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00:06:27,029 --> 00:06:29,063
Hey.
Hey.
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00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:31,800
Did you notice I put some
axle grease on wheelie?
188
00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:33,301
Smooth ride, huh?
189
00:06:33,302 --> 00:06:35,237
Yeah. And I'm meeting
a lot of cool people
190
00:06:35,238 --> 00:06:37,305
when I drag it up the subway stairs.
191
00:06:37,306 --> 00:06:39,274
A lot of, "go back
to your own country."
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00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:41,476
Oh, that's nice.
Okay, let me get
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00:06:41,477 --> 00:06:43,044
that for you here.
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00:06:43,045 --> 00:06:44,613
Hey, did you talk to Cliff?
195
00:06:44,614 --> 00:06:46,147
Everyone's really freaked out
196
00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:47,449
that we're gonna lose the practice.
197
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,416
Morgan's been going
up to the roof a lot.
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00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:52,287
I did talk to Cliff,
and the great news
199
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,129
is that he said he would
help me with my taxes.
200
00:06:54,156 --> 00:06:56,257
Nice.
There's a small catch.
201
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:57,859
Okay.
Cliff was still
202
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:00,928
very upset that
I cheated on him with you.
203
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,631
Right.
So I told him that we were broken up.
204
00:07:03,666 --> 00:07:04,965
You did what?
205
00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:06,267
I told him that we were broken up.
206
00:07:06,302 --> 00:07:07,677
Why would you do that?
What's wrong with you?
207
00:07:07,703 --> 00:07:08,937
Because Cliff only wanted to help me
208
00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:10,305
if he felt sorry for me.
209
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:12,306
That's the only reason why
guys ever want to help girls.
210
00:07:12,341 --> 00:07:13,508
Okay, come on.
Gimme a break.
211
00:07:13,509 --> 00:07:15,310
That's not true.
That never happens.
212
00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:17,245
And Danny, I don't know
what to do, okay?
213
00:07:17,246 --> 00:07:19,680
I feel so helpless.
Okay, don't cry.
214
00:07:19,715 --> 00:07:22,417
I haven't even been eating
'cause I'm so stressed out
215
00:07:22,418 --> 00:07:24,519
about this whole thing. You haven't
been eating? Don't stress out.
216
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,087
Yeah, I just need help.
Hey, hey, baby, baby,
217
00:07:26,088 --> 00:07:29,324
daddy's got you, okay?
218
00:07:29,325 --> 00:07:31,325
Wait, no.
Now you're doing it to me!
219
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,827
So what if I am, Danny?
Ah, God...
220
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:33,995
So what if I am?
221
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,462
It's only for a couple days.
222
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,399
It's a fake break-up.
223
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,833
Okay, fine.
For the practice.
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00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,168
A couple days.
That's it.
225
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,469
Really?
For the practice.
226
00:07:41,470 --> 00:07:43,704
Oh, you're such a good boyfriend.
227
00:07:43,739 --> 00:07:45,472
Now get in the bedroom.
228
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:48,944
Ooh. No, folding socks
and watching jag.
229
00:07:48,945 --> 00:07:51,246
'K, well...
230
00:07:51,247 --> 00:07:53,982
That was misleading, but okay.
231
00:07:53,983 --> 00:07:55,649
[Cell phone buzzes]
232
00:08:05,294 --> 00:08:06,360
(Danny) Oh!
233
00:08:06,395 --> 00:08:09,029
Go get him, jag!
Yes!
234
00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:12,967
[Phone buzzes]
235
00:08:17,573 --> 00:08:19,407
(Danny) Shoot.
Oh, no.
236
00:08:19,408 --> 00:08:20,608
Mindy, get in here.
237
00:08:20,609 --> 00:08:22,710
Jag's in a bit of a pickle.
238
00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:26,147
(Mindy) Danny, I need to
tell you something.
239
00:08:26,148 --> 00:08:28,249
(Danny) Me too. Did you know
people are buying jeans
240
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:29,684
with holes already ripped in them?
241
00:08:29,685 --> 00:08:31,119
I'll tell you right now
what they got a hole in...
242
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,454
Right here in their head.
243
00:08:32,455 --> 00:08:34,622
I'm dating Andy Rooney.
I can't right now.
244
00:08:34,623 --> 00:08:35,957
Listen, I wanted to talk to you
245
00:08:35,958 --> 00:08:37,424
about something tonight.
Hold the door.
246
00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:39,093
Hold... hold that.
Hold that.
247
00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:43,063
Mindy.
Danny.
248
00:08:43,099 --> 00:08:44,332
How's it going, Cliff?
249
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:45,567
Hey, Cliff.
Good.
250
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,134
You two seem pretty cozy.
251
00:08:47,169 --> 00:08:49,036
What?
No, get off me, you weirdo!
252
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,673
He took the best
five months of my life.
253
00:08:51,674 --> 00:08:52,841
[Sighs] Right, yes.
254
00:08:52,842 --> 00:08:53,942
We're, uh, we're on a break.
255
00:08:53,943 --> 00:08:55,343
It's not a big deal.
256
00:08:55,344 --> 00:08:56,411
You cheated on her, Danny.
257
00:08:56,412 --> 00:09:00,915
I'd say it's a pretty big deal.
258
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:04,652
Yeah, yeah.
I cheated on her.
259
00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:06,321
With a Knicks city dancer.
260
00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:07,588
Yeah.
261
00:09:07,623 --> 00:09:09,724
She saw me in a crowd.
262
00:09:09,725 --> 00:09:11,359
Just couldn't keep her hands off me.
263
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,995
I mean, it was...
It was pretty hot.
264
00:09:13,996 --> 00:09:16,431
More like you jumped at her
from behind a bush, you pedo!
265
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:17,765
[Elevator bell dings]
266
00:09:20,669 --> 00:09:22,971
Mindy.
Daniel.
267
00:09:22,972 --> 00:09:24,505
Heathcliff.
268
00:09:30,212 --> 00:09:33,481
There's a very strange
energy in this elevator.
269
00:09:33,482 --> 00:09:34,482
They broke up.
270
00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:36,918
I attacked a woman in the park.
271
00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:38,720
I can't say I'm surprised.
272
00:09:38,721 --> 00:09:39,821
You can't?
273
00:09:39,822 --> 00:09:42,123
Danny, you have unfurled
your tatami mat.
274
00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:43,557
Now you must lie in it.
275
00:09:45,861 --> 00:09:48,263
Next time we break up, you
be the Central Park perv.
276
00:09:48,264 --> 00:09:49,531
I can't, Danny.
I'm already
277
00:09:49,532 --> 00:09:51,232
the Washington square
flasher... I'm sorry!
278
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,835
Hey, I heard you guys broke
up, and I, for one, am happy
279
00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:55,602
because I was never a fan
of this relationship.
280
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,005
We didn't break up.
281
00:09:57,006 --> 00:09:59,574
You're my favorite couple, and
I wish you nothing but luck.
282
00:09:59,575 --> 00:10:00,841
Danny, listen to me.
283
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:02,977
Why do I have to
suffer through this crap?
284
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:04,446
Why? I don't like it, Mindy, okay?
285
00:10:04,447 --> 00:10:05,780
I don't like it.
I wouldn't
286
00:10:05,781 --> 00:10:07,021
want to be my heavy bag tonight.
287
00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:08,583
Danny, I understand and I am sorry,
288
00:10:08,584 --> 00:10:10,051
but it will all be over by tomorrow.
289
00:10:10,052 --> 00:10:14,322
You better start thinking
about ways to make it up to me.
290
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:16,032
Yeah, all right.
291
00:10:16,058 --> 00:10:18,359
No, the other thing. Rizzo?
You want me to dress up
292
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,294
like rizzo from grease?
That is demeaning, Danny!
293
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:21,695
Then how 'bout frenchie?
Frenchie.
294
00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:23,897
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, fine.
295
00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:25,767
Awesome.
But I can't do it tonight.
296
00:10:25,768 --> 00:10:26,967
Why, what... what's going on tonight?
297
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:31,439
Uh, I have plans...
To go to the gym.
298
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,341
Oh. That's great.
I'll come with you.
299
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:34,809
I just read about a new kind of squat
300
00:10:34,810 --> 00:10:35,877
in my men's newsletter.
301
00:10:35,878 --> 00:10:37,245
You can't come with me.
302
00:10:37,246 --> 00:10:38,679
Because it's a women's only gym.
303
00:10:38,714 --> 00:10:40,981
Ah, that's too bad.
304
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,851
I like watching
your tush when you work out.
305
00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:45,253
It's like it's saying,
306
00:10:45,254 --> 00:10:46,553
[mimics Marlon Brando]
Stop working out.
307
00:10:46,589 --> 00:10:48,223
Stop it.
I hate working out.
308
00:10:48,224 --> 00:10:49,324
I'm shrinking.
309
00:10:49,325 --> 00:10:51,392
Okay, my butt does not sound
like fat Marlon Brando.
310
00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:52,393
I know what your butt
311
00:10:52,394 --> 00:10:54,095
sounds like...
Don't tell me.
312
00:10:54,096 --> 00:10:55,430
Look, go to the gym, okay?
313
00:10:55,431 --> 00:10:57,031
When you get back,
I'll make you a plate
314
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,000
of ma's authentic flazool.
315
00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:00,802
Okay.
316
00:11:00,803 --> 00:11:02,603
You deserve it.
317
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:08,375
(Lauren) I'm sorry I couldn't
get a sitter for Henry,
318
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,879
but Ethiopian food is basically
just baby food, anyway.
319
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,080
Look, Lauren.
Um, I've been
320
00:11:12,081 --> 00:11:13,481
doing a lot of soul-searching.
321
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:15,817
Like, an ass load of soul-searching.
322
00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:18,386
And I want you to know
that you are 110% forgiven
323
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,255
for making out with Jeremy.
324
00:11:20,256 --> 00:11:22,690
There are a few stipulations,
though, going forward.
325
00:11:22,691 --> 00:11:26,394
One: No more making out with dudes.
Two: Making out
326
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:28,021
with chicks...
Case-by-case basis.
327
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:29,696
I really like you, Peter.
328
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,064
Yeah, great.
329
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:35,937
But I think for right now,
we need to put a pin in it.
330
00:11:35,938 --> 00:11:38,071
Like a clothespin
to keep us closer together?
331
00:11:38,107 --> 00:11:41,642
No, like I don't think
this is working.
332
00:11:42,778 --> 00:11:44,746
Is this about Jeremy?
Are you see...
333
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,147
No, no. This isn't about Jeremy.
334
00:11:46,148 --> 00:11:47,482
Are you seeing him now?
335
00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:48,616
This is about you and me.
336
00:11:48,617 --> 00:11:49,883
Well, then, I really don't understand.
337
00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:52,587
[Phone rings] Oh, shoot.
Oh, hey.
338
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:53,688
Can I take this?
339
00:11:53,689 --> 00:11:54,989
Can you just watch him for one second?
340
00:11:54,990 --> 00:11:56,124
I'm... I'm really sorry.
341
00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:57,491
Lauren...
I'm so sorry.
342
00:12:00,963 --> 00:12:03,331
Look, Henry, I don't
want you to get sad
343
00:12:03,332 --> 00:12:06,066
because your mom and I
aren't working out right now.
344
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,368
This isn't the end
for us, though, you know?
345
00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:09,870
We still got a lot
of stuff to do together.
346
00:12:09,905 --> 00:12:15,577
I'm gonna take you
to your first baseball game.
347
00:12:15,578 --> 00:12:17,311
I'm gonna let you taste
348
00:12:17,346 --> 00:12:18,846
your first beer.
I'm gonna pick you up
349
00:12:18,847 --> 00:12:21,282
after your first
infraction at Dartmouth.
350
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,483
It's all gonna happen.
351
00:12:25,354 --> 00:12:27,155
Hey, I'm so sorry...
352
00:12:27,156 --> 00:12:28,456
I'm gonna pay my 1/3rd of the bill
353
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,490
on the way out.
354
00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:31,358
Oh, God.
Henry?
355
00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:36,763
[Baby cries]
356
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,633
(Mindy) Cliff, I think this restaurant
357
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:40,267
is inappropriate for a work meeting.
358
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,402
Yeah, I'm uncomfortable.
359
00:12:41,403 --> 00:12:44,005
But I do know a laundromat
that sells hot dogs.
360
00:12:44,006 --> 00:12:45,607
Mindy, after
what Danny put you through,
361
00:12:45,608 --> 00:12:48,109
I think you deserve it.
362
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,211
Listen, I wanna
show you something here.
363
00:12:50,212 --> 00:12:52,146
Oh, you're on this side now.
364
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:54,882
Yeah, well, it's standard
attorney-client seating.
365
00:12:54,883 --> 00:12:56,551
You smell nice.
It's just men's deodorant.
366
00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,152
It's no big deal.
Oh, okay.
367
00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,786
You have to give me the brand.
[Chuckles]
368
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,356
All right, listen, even if you do
369
00:13:01,357 --> 00:13:02,690
manage to avoid the seizure
370
00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:04,825
of all your assets, you are
still gonna owe the government
371
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,861
that much.
What?
372
00:13:06,862 --> 00:13:08,429
Cliff, you gotta be kidding me.
373
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:09,764
For what?
So those fat cats
374
00:13:09,765 --> 00:13:11,099
can "build roads"?
375
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,434
So that PBS can keep lining
Laura Linney's pockets?
376
00:13:13,435 --> 00:13:14,902
No one else is mad about this?
377
00:13:14,903 --> 00:13:16,204
Okay, fine.
378
00:13:16,205 --> 00:13:18,072
I'll just heroically save the practice
379
00:13:18,073 --> 00:13:19,474
from what I did to it.
380
00:13:19,475 --> 00:13:20,508
Piece of advice?
Yeah.
381
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:23,244
Even if you do save the
practice, get out of there.
382
00:13:23,245 --> 00:13:25,847
Man, that Danny is a real creep.
383
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,414
No, Cliff.
He's a good guy.
384
00:13:27,449 --> 00:13:30,218
Hmm. Well, then I'm assuming you know
385
00:13:30,219 --> 00:13:32,853
that he is...
Still married?
386
00:13:32,888 --> 00:13:34,288
What?
387
00:13:36,878 --> 00:13:37,978
No, it's a pleasure.
388
00:13:37,979 --> 00:13:39,946
One more question.
389
00:13:39,947 --> 00:13:42,081
Hey.
You wore that to the gym?
390
00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:43,416
I told you, you can always borrow
391
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,285
my boxing trunks...
Just not the Italian colors.
392
00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:47,921
Danny, are you still married?
393
00:13:47,922 --> 00:13:49,370
What? You know I'm annulled.
394
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:50,524
That's only in the eyes of God.
395
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:51,691
That means less than nothing.
396
00:13:51,692 --> 00:13:53,160
Are you married?
397
00:13:53,161 --> 00:13:56,730
Uhh...
I mean...
398
00:13:56,731 --> 00:13:59,032
Technically, yes.
399
00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:00,100
I can't believe this.
400
00:14:00,101 --> 00:14:01,101
All this time, I thought I was
401
00:14:01,102 --> 00:14:03,435
your hot girlfriend when really,
I was your sexy mistress.
402
00:14:03,471 --> 00:14:04,677
How'd you find out about it anyway?
403
00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:06,106
Cliff told me at dinner.
404
00:14:06,107 --> 00:14:08,642
Dinner? I thought you were
supposed to be at the gym.
405
00:14:08,643 --> 00:14:11,311
Danny, I don't even know
where a gym is.
406
00:14:11,312 --> 00:14:12,913
Okay, well.
I better leave.
407
00:14:12,914 --> 00:14:14,915
I wouldn't want your wife to see
408
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:17,717
my toothbrush or my Sarah Palin book.
409
00:14:17,718 --> 00:14:19,451
She's not just a politician, Danny.
410
00:14:19,487 --> 00:14:22,069
She's a mother, she's a
wife, and she's a hunter.
411
00:14:22,089 --> 00:14:23,455
Mindy.
412
00:14:27,395 --> 00:14:28,395
Hold my calls, darling.
413
00:14:28,396 --> 00:14:29,629
You seem happy.
Did your mom
414
00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,198
send you weird British candy?
415
00:14:31,199 --> 00:14:32,866
No, Beverly.
I have a date with a woman
416
00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:35,335
worth a thousand mallow-wispies.
417
00:14:35,336 --> 00:14:36,602
Ehh...
418
00:14:37,872 --> 00:14:40,072
'Scuse me.
419
00:14:43,911 --> 00:14:46,846
[Phone rings]
420
00:14:46,847 --> 00:14:48,248
Downtown neurological partners.
421
00:14:48,249 --> 00:14:49,316
If this is an emergency,
422
00:14:49,317 --> 00:14:51,284
please call the Tribeca insane asylum.
423
00:14:51,285 --> 00:14:53,787
(Peter) Hello, this
is Dr. Jeremy Reed,
424
00:14:53,788 --> 00:14:55,088
baby, yeah.
425
00:14:55,089 --> 00:14:56,656
Scwhing!
Donk-ay!
426
00:14:56,657 --> 00:14:57,791
Hey, Dr. Reed.
427
00:14:57,792 --> 00:14:58,824
How can help you?
428
00:14:58,859 --> 00:15:01,127
Well, guv'nah.
I was just calling
429
00:15:01,128 --> 00:15:03,862
to see if Lauren
had any lunch plans today.
430
00:15:03,898 --> 00:15:06,533
You know, me being
terribly forgetful and all.
431
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:09,742
Yeah, she's supposed to be
at lunch with you right now.
432
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,172
I knew it!
Uh, uh...
433
00:15:12,173 --> 00:15:14,908
Uh, thank you, uh, very much
434
00:15:14,909 --> 00:15:17,176
[weird accent] For this-a information.
435
00:15:17,211 --> 00:15:19,312
Uh, w-w-who you talking to?
436
00:15:19,313 --> 00:15:20,946
Uh, my wife.
437
00:15:23,317 --> 00:15:24,550
Dr. Reed in here?
438
00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:26,051
Huh?
439
00:15:28,589 --> 00:15:30,590
Oh, mama. Well.
440
00:15:30,591 --> 00:15:34,561
[Thud] You tell my girlfriend
I'm still married?
441
00:15:34,562 --> 00:15:36,228
So you are still together with Mindy.
442
00:15:36,264 --> 00:15:37,436
Yeah, I knew it.
443
00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:38,698
You know, my first clue was when Mindy
444
00:15:38,699 --> 00:15:40,533
posted a photo of you in the shower.
445
00:15:40,534 --> 00:15:42,334
Hashtag, my sudsy boyflife.
446
00:15:42,370 --> 00:15:43,903
I thought I saw a flash.
447
00:15:43,904 --> 00:15:45,537
Yeah. You're a perfect couple.
448
00:15:45,573 --> 00:15:47,240
You're terrible people
and you're huge liars.
449
00:15:47,241 --> 00:15:49,276
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not
lying anymore, Cliff.
450
00:15:49,277 --> 00:15:50,277
I'm done with lying.
451
00:15:50,278 --> 00:15:53,178
I'm gonna go see a lawyer, I'm
gonna finalize my divorce.
452
00:15:53,214 --> 00:15:54,413
That's great.
Which lawyer?
453
00:15:54,448 --> 00:15:56,816
My cousin don.
He mostly handles
454
00:15:56,817 --> 00:15:57,884
dogs that bite people,
455
00:15:57,885 --> 00:15:59,286
but he knows stuff about humans too.
456
00:15:59,287 --> 00:16:00,587
So, don't worry about it.
457
00:16:00,588 --> 00:16:02,689
I got it covered.
458
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:05,292
Wait, wait, wait, wait, Danny?
What?
459
00:16:05,293 --> 00:16:07,994
Don't do that.
I'll handle your divorce.
460
00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:09,802
Why would you want to do that for me?
461
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,330
You've actually got something I want.
462
00:16:11,365 --> 00:16:12,666
Are you talking about Mindy?
463
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,587
Something that's had
even more men on top of her.
464
00:16:18,839 --> 00:16:22,342
Beautiful.
465
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,877
I don't remember all these swear words
466
00:16:23,878 --> 00:16:26,780
being carved into it, though.
467
00:16:26,781 --> 00:16:29,082
[Sniffles]
468
00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:31,451
Danny, you're not crying, are you?
469
00:16:31,452 --> 00:16:33,492
No!
470
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:40,460
Well, it was nice knowing all of you.
471
00:16:40,461 --> 00:16:43,296
Can't say the same.
Being honest.
472
00:16:43,297 --> 00:16:46,031
Immigration services
are looking into my status.
473
00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:49,268
Apparently, an anonymous phone
call has gotten me red-flagged.
474
00:16:49,303 --> 00:16:51,471
Why do they care?
You're Mexican.
475
00:16:51,472 --> 00:16:53,306
I can't go back to England.
476
00:16:53,307 --> 00:16:55,208
I've forgotten all the words.
477
00:16:55,209 --> 00:16:57,544
How do the English say "elevator"?
478
00:16:57,545 --> 00:17:00,280
Lorf?
Blift?
479
00:17:00,281 --> 00:17:02,949
Look, Jeremy, I think
you should go back
480
00:17:02,950 --> 00:17:05,552
to England for as long as
it takes for you to get
481
00:17:05,553 --> 00:17:07,119
this situation sorted out.
482
00:17:07,154 --> 00:17:08,488
Come back in a few months.
483
00:17:08,489 --> 00:17:10,490
Sure, some people will have moved on
484
00:17:10,491 --> 00:17:11,658
to some other people, but...
485
00:17:11,659 --> 00:17:12,692
Not only am I getting deported,
486
00:17:12,693 --> 00:17:15,561
but Lauren tells me she
wants to put a pin in it.
487
00:17:15,596 --> 00:17:17,464
Wait. I'm sorry.
Lauren told you
488
00:17:17,465 --> 00:17:19,165
she wanted to put a pin in it?
489
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,835
So you're not dating anymore no.
Quite the opposite.
490
00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:25,305
I'm a man with no
country and no woman.
491
00:17:25,306 --> 00:17:27,380
(Morgan) Oh.
Oh, my God.
492
00:17:27,408 --> 00:17:29,576
I had to take the stairs.
493
00:17:29,577 --> 00:17:31,777
You guys know the blift is broken?
494
00:17:34,461 --> 00:17:36,696
You will keep your portion of
the practice, and Christina
495
00:17:36,697 --> 00:17:38,665
will retain ownership of your boat,
496
00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:39,832
the fuggeta-boat-it.
497
00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:41,568
That's okay.
After Captain Phillips,
498
00:17:41,569 --> 00:17:43,636
I got too spooked to go on it.
499
00:17:43,637 --> 00:17:45,572
Well, you are divorced.
500
00:17:45,573 --> 00:17:49,809
I now pronounce you man and...
nothing.
501
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:51,243
Hey, Cliff.
502
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,744
I just wanted to thank you.
503
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:58,184
And say that I'm... I'm sorry
about all the lies, okay?
504
00:17:58,185 --> 00:18:00,819
Mindy's gonna be really happy
we sorted this out, so...
505
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:03,222
Yeah. Good.
506
00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:05,525
What?
507
00:18:05,526 --> 00:18:07,994
What's really going on
with the two of you?
508
00:18:07,995 --> 00:18:09,729
Because when Mindy and I
were going strong,
509
00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:11,663
my apartment was just
absolutely buried in her stuff...
510
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,299
Hidden wine bottles,
bras drying in the oven.
511
00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:15,767
Her stuff was scattered everywhere.
512
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,706
Danny, there's no sign of her here.
513
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,575
Well, there's plenty of her
stuff all around here, so...
514
00:18:22,576 --> 00:18:23,609
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
515
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:25,144
All right, good.
Yeah.
516
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:27,046
I'm gonna, uh,
go take this Yankee seat
517
00:18:27,047 --> 00:18:28,080
and light it on fire.
518
00:18:28,115 --> 00:18:29,682
What?
I'm a Red Sox fan.
519
00:18:29,683 --> 00:18:31,216
You are?
Yeah.
520
00:18:31,252 --> 00:18:32,784
Go, sox!
521
00:18:41,428 --> 00:18:42,962
(Man) As the accountant
for this practice,
522
00:18:42,963 --> 00:18:45,198
you should be ashamed of yourself.
523
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:49,167
This is the most challenging
tax case I have ever seen.
524
00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:50,336
In July of last year,
525
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:53,572
you spent more
money on emojis than rent?
526
00:18:53,607 --> 00:18:54,841
Couple things.
527
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,010
Not crazy about this judgmental tone,
528
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,478
first of all.
Second of all,
529
00:18:58,479 --> 00:19:00,146
those were a business expense.
530
00:19:00,147 --> 00:19:01,614
They helped to sell my brand.
531
00:19:01,615 --> 00:19:03,650
Which is sassy-but-bangable brat.
532
00:19:03,651 --> 00:19:05,584
We're really pushing
the brand this year.
533
00:19:05,619 --> 00:19:07,186
You know what?
534
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:08,888
I just think it's time I retire.
535
00:19:08,889 --> 00:19:10,289
(Lauren) Jeremy?
536
00:19:10,324 --> 00:19:11,790
Excuse me.
Is Jeremy here?
537
00:19:13,961 --> 00:19:15,228
Oh.
Stay here.
538
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:17,096
Just...
Work your magic.
539
00:19:17,097 --> 00:19:19,032
Hey, are you getting deported?
540
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,432
You can't go back to England.
541
00:19:20,467 --> 00:19:22,435
Everything's okay.
The I.N.S. Lost interest
542
00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:24,436
when they found out
I was rich and white.
543
00:19:24,471 --> 00:19:26,238
That's such great news.
544
00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:28,608
Listen, when I thought
of you going away,
545
00:19:28,609 --> 00:19:31,544
I didn't like it. Maybe I don't
want to put a pin in it.
546
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,612
Let's not put a pin in it.
547
00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:34,212
Okay.
548
00:19:35,816 --> 00:19:38,318
[Mumbles] Who knows what they're
going to... what they're doing?
549
00:19:38,319 --> 00:19:39,852
They could be
going in there to break up.
550
00:19:39,853 --> 00:19:41,453
Yeah, more like hook up.
551
00:19:41,488 --> 00:19:43,288
[Sighs] Sorry.
552
00:19:43,324 --> 00:19:45,124
(Mindy) With this
signature, I am square
553
00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:46,491
with the U.S. government.
554
00:19:46,527 --> 00:19:48,194
Wow, if I'm gonna pay
for national parks,
555
00:19:48,195 --> 00:19:50,663
I better check them out.
What's that one called?
556
00:19:50,664 --> 00:19:52,665
Big hole?
Mount facemore?
557
00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:54,167
Mmm.
558
00:19:54,168 --> 00:19:55,534
You wanna stay over tonight?
559
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,471
You can eat the chocolate casings
off all my ice cream bars.
560
00:19:58,472 --> 00:19:59,706
I shouldn't.
If I spend the night
561
00:19:59,707 --> 00:20:00,707
with a married man,
562
00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:02,809
it's gonna be because he got
my kid into prep school.
563
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,111
Well, that's...
Really good news,
564
00:20:05,112 --> 00:20:08,114
'cause I'm not married anymore.
565
00:20:08,115 --> 00:20:09,916
I finalized my divorce.
566
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,118
Really?
Yeah.
567
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,420
Thank you.
Because you helped me
568
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:17,189
clean up my old mess.
And because of that,
569
00:20:17,224 --> 00:20:21,326
I can concentrate on what's
important to me, like...
570
00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:23,795
My work.
571
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:26,431
And faith.
572
00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:27,699
And you.
573
00:20:27,735 --> 00:20:29,369
What? No.
574
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:31,371
After faith?
That's too much.
575
00:20:31,372 --> 00:20:33,406
I can't accept that.
576
00:20:33,407 --> 00:20:34,607
I can't, though.
I actually need
577
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,208
to go home.
I left wheelie there.
578
00:20:36,243 --> 00:20:37,570
Come here.
579
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:42,048
Oh, my God.
Danny!
580
00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:43,750
It's so beautiful.
This is like
581
00:20:43,751 --> 00:20:46,586
the nicest piece of furniture
in your house. I got it at
582
00:20:46,587 --> 00:20:49,622
some girl boutique
called Isabel's attic.
583
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,290
The lady's cat was all over me.
584
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,792
You met doilie?
If she likes you,
585
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,128
that's huge.
Yeah?
586
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,430
Danny...
It's perfect.
587
00:20:57,431 --> 00:20:58,698
You like it?
Thank you.
588
00:20:58,699 --> 00:21:00,098
You're welcome.
589
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,001
Now how about we go to your bedroom
590
00:21:02,002 --> 00:21:04,736
and you show me if there's any
room in your closet for me.
591
00:21:04,772 --> 00:21:07,373
No. No, there's no
space for you in there
592
00:21:07,374 --> 00:21:09,709
because that's where all
my pressed jeans go, okay?
593
00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:12,245
There's no room for you.
You got this now, okay?
594
00:21:12,246 --> 00:21:14,514
Maybe we should just
go and, uh, check anyway.
595
00:21:14,515 --> 00:21:16,516
I don't need to check.
I'm telling you right now,
596
00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:17,797
there's no room for you in there.
597
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:21,788
Have sex with me in your
closet, you dumb-dumb.
598
00:21:21,789 --> 00:21:23,956
Ohh.
Okay.
599
00:21:23,957 --> 00:21:25,458
That's what you're talking about.
600
00:21:25,459 --> 00:21:27,693
That's very clever.
601
00:21:27,694 --> 00:21:28,694
(Mindy) It's not even that clever.
602
00:21:28,695 --> 00:21:29,955
(Danny) Okay.
603
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:34,061
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
604
00:21:34,111 --> 00:21:38,661
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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