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1
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,146
Excuse me, could you tell me
the way to Nutbourne College?
2
00:02:03,147 --> 00:02:04,980
You must be the new English master!
Yes.
3
00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:08,980
Richard Tassell.
My name's Billings. I teach Maths.
4
00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:12,640
The carriage should be without.
Hello, Rainbow, old scout!
5
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,100
Aye, aye, sir. How was Mon Repos,
Southsea? Middling, sir.
6
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,500
This is mr. Tassell, the new English
master. Pleased to meet you.
7
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:21,282
Keep on the right side of Rainbow.
8
00:02:21,283 --> 00:02:23,220
He runs the school
and knows the country.
9
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:27,420
Black-market whisky, butter, eggs,
anything at a price, right, Rainbow?
10
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,980
Times are difficult, sir.
11
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:34,000
Is this your first appointment?
Yes. Ex-service? Army.
12
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,980
Pond interviewed you, I suppose.
What did you make of him?
13
00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:41,100
He seemed quite pleasant. He's bats.
You're going to loathe it here.
14
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,580
That's a fine way of
introducing me to it
15
00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:56,796
Oh, I see you've been
putting in a spot of work...
16
00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:58,420
...on the garden for
a change, Rainbow.
17
00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:02,272
It's mr. Pond, sir. He's been on
at me and Edwin all the week.
18
00:03:02,273 --> 00:03:03,780
"Clean this up. Paint that."
19
00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:07,680
Hasn't given us a moment. Must be
expecting a gaggle of parents.
20
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,580
There are six cottages in the
village, a pub and a post office.
21
00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:14,500
We are now entering the main hall
of the noble pile.
22
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,420
According to history,
it goes back to Henry VIII.
23
00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,820
According to the bank,
it goes back to THEM,
24
00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:22,060
unless Pond keeps up
with his payments.
25
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:29,380
Fine old staircase... Mmm....but
you have to climb it 20 times a day.
26
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:33,617
And this is the common room.
Haven from howling kids...
27
00:03:33,618 --> 00:03:35,979
...and the back parlour
of our domestic life.
28
00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:38,340
You'll find your evenings
here rollicking
29
00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:42,260
Matthews - he's the second master -
plays a good hand of ecarte.
30
00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:45,460
Joue here suffers from insomnia.
31
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,540
Takes French and he plays
backgammon...when he's awake.
32
00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:52,180
I'll introduce you to him later.
What about you? What do you do?
33
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:54,340
Football pools.
I once won 30 bob.
34
00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:57,900
It's led me astray ever since.
35
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,314
- What's that?
- Hyde-Brown.
36
00:03:59,315 --> 00:04:01,996
Known to the natives as Whizzo.
He's the sports master.
37
00:04:02,196 --> 00:04:04,878
He's the only chap who isn't
really affected by this place.
38
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,340
Oh, I'm sorry if I'm painting
a gloomy picture.
39
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:11,260
Oh, hello, Ramsden. This is Tassell,
the new English master.
40
00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,900
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
41
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:20,260
He's the science master.
We call him the Ghost of Nutbourne.
42
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,300
Ha! How are you, Billings,
you jaundiced swine?
43
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,321
Oh, had the devil
of a journey.
44
00:04:25,322 --> 00:04:27,349
Thought I'd never make it.
Nearly ran out of juice.
45
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,820
Must get old Rainbow to get
me some more petrol coupons.
46
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:34,900
Hello? Hello.
That you, Joan, dear?
47
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,620
Look, get me Ashfield 69.
48
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:39,538
I'm not going to pay what he asked
last term - seven bob a gallon.
49
00:04:39,539 --> 00:04:42,360
This is Tassell, the new Englisher.
Victor Hyde-Brown.
50
00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:44,740
Oh, how are you, old boy?
...Hello?
51
00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:49,080
Hello? That you, Alf? Vic here.
Look, what won the 4.30?...Oh.
52
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:53,420
What was second and third?...Oh.
Did...Winter Cottage run?
53
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,954
Oh, thanks....Just my luck.
54
00:04:55,955 --> 00:04:58,340
I say, Tassell, you can
have this cupboard.
55
00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,020
What's that ass Pond been up to?
56
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:02,228
This place hasn't had
a coat of paint...
57
00:05:02,229 --> 00:05:04,700
...since they took photographs
for the prospectus.
58
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,820
I say, you chaps, take
a butcher's at these.
59
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,454
This is a little job I ran across
in a joint in Montmartre.
60
00:05:09,555 --> 00:05:11,220
She comes from Birkenhead actually.
61
00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:13,415
The one with the advanced ideas -
that's Jeanne.
62
00:05:13,615 --> 00:05:15,611
Won't you ever grow up?
I certainly hope not.
63
00:05:15,612 --> 00:05:18,380
That's Yvette. What a scorcher.
It's I'amour, old man.
64
00:05:18,481 --> 00:05:21,980
You'll gather Brownie is interested
in a wide variety of sports
65
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:24,668
There you are, Billings.
I expected you earlier.
66
00:05:24,669 --> 00:05:27,460
You're not going to run
through the Second XV fixtures
67
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,284
or anything of that sort?
What is it?
68
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,580
I put a notice on the board.
Mr Tassell, I take it?
69
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:34,860
How do you do? How do you do?
I'm Matthews, the second master.
70
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,862
You'll find us a very
happy family here.
71
00:05:36,863 --> 00:05:38,860
Since when?!
What is it on the board, Matty.
72
00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:42,820
Really, it's only three yards. Mr.
Pond wants to go to tea today. Tea?!
73
00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:46,780
That's the first time. What's the
idea? I haven't the remotest notion.
74
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,840
It's about 5.30 and
I saw mrs. Hampstead...
75
00:05:48,841 --> 00:05:50,962
...going in with the tea
about two minutes ago.
76
00:05:51,162 --> 00:05:53,283
We have no alternative
but to investigate...
77
00:05:53,284 --> 00:05:54,860
...this strange phenomenon.
Let's go.
78
00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:58,700
Oh, do you want...wary Willy?
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!
79
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,980
And before term's started. Monsieur
Joue. Wake up, Monsieur Joue.
80
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,780
Wake up! J'aurai,
tu auras, il aura...
81
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:08,807
He hasn't had Rainbow and
Edwin working for nothing.
82
00:06:08,808 --> 00:06:10,740
If Pond's dishing
out a free bun fight,
83
00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:13,225
...there's something
brewing apart from tea.
84
00:06:13,226 --> 00:06:16,380
Maybe he's getting married
and wants to impress the lady.
85
00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:18,539
The day Pond exchanges
a smile with a woman,
86
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,780
...I'll dance the hornpipe
naked on the village green.
87
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:25,500
And as for anything in this dump
impressing anyone...
88
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,060
Come in, gentlemen, please.
89
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,180
Excuse me. Tea is served.
90
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:41,380
Mr Tassell. Welcome to Nutbourne.
Delighted to have you join us.
91
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:43,713
My colleagues, I'm
sure, will tell you
92
00:06:43,714 --> 00:06:46,980
all you need to know about
the school. Right, Billings?
93
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:49,460
Sit down, gentlemen, sit down.
94
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:52,420
Lend me a hand with the tea,
will you, Billings, please?
95
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:57,100
Well, I hope you all enjoyed your
vacations. Come in Matthews, Joue.
96
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,300
Here we are all once again
back in harness.
97
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,980
And I, for one, can say
that I'm...I'm not sorry.
98
00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:05,020
Sit down, Ramsden.
99
00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:08,292
Yes, it's 15 years almost
to the day since I first...
100
00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:10,340
...Don't forget
the sugar, Billings.
101
00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:12,596
15 years since I came here.
102
00:07:12,796 --> 00:07:14,853
And I must say it's 15 years
103
00:07:14,854 --> 00:07:18,260
that I shall look back on
with a very deepest affection.
104
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:20,363
There'll be many more
to look back upon
105
00:07:20,364 --> 00:07:22,620
before you and Nutbourne
part company, sir.
106
00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:24,580
I appreciate that sentiment,
Matthews.
107
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:28,180
But I'm afraid it's a...a pleasure
that may not be granted to me.
108
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:31,580
Oh, come, sir! Ha-ha, yes!
Are these crumpets? I don't know
109
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:35,140
As a matter of fact, that is why
I've asked you all to come here.
110
00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:39,700
There is a distinct possibility that I
may be translated to a higher sphere.
111
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,620
Not your heart again, sir?
112
00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,900
My heart is perfectly all right,
Billings.
113
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:47,580
No, I've been urged to consider
an appointment elsewhere. No, sir!
114
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:49,757
Yes, the headmastership of Harlingham.
115
00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:52,380
But that's a decent school.
One of the majors.
116
00:07:52,580 --> 00:07:54,363
This is a shock.
I hardly dare think
117
00:07:54,364 --> 00:07:56,460
what would happen to
Nutbourne if you left.
118
00:07:56,660 --> 00:08:01,660
It would be a tremendous wrench for me,
too, Matthews. Oh! Crumpets it is.
119
00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:03,060
Plates, Billings.
120
00:08:03,260 --> 00:08:07,340
But, Matthews, that the call of duty
comes before even that of affection.
121
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:10,520
And the call of duty would be
stronger at Harlingham, sir?
122
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,500
I have always felt that
the highest aim of a teacher...
123
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:17,900
...is to sow the seeds of knowledge
of ever wider, more fertile fields.
124
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,700
We're a comparatively
small school here, and...
125
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:26,060
...judging from recent examination
results, not abundantly fertile.
126
00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:29,740
Give Joue his tea, will you,
Billings, please?
127
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:33,300
Which brings me to my second point.
The governors of Harlingham...
128
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,935
...will shortly be visiting here
to study my methods.
129
00:08:35,936 --> 00:08:38,060
Then you haven't cornered
the job yet, sir?!
130
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:42,940
The problem is a mutual one,
Billings. Will Harlingham suit me?
131
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,823
Will I be equal to Harlingham?
132
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:47,860
Mmm, crumpets are nice, sir.
Thank you, Matthews.
133
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,665
I'm sure with your co-operation...
134
00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:51,907
...and perhaps a little
a little extra effort,
135
00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:54,349
...we can show the governors
of Harlingham...
136
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:57,100
...that our school is every
bit as good as... Ramsden.
137
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,460
Will you please sit down?
138
00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:01,900
Oh, and bearing this in mind,
139
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,314
Mr Joue, do you think
you might contrive...
140
00:09:04,315 --> 00:09:06,580
...to spend a little more
of the day with us?
141
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,780
Thank you, Joue. And you,
Billings...
142
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:12,121
Billings, do you think
you could devote...
143
00:09:12,122 --> 00:09:14,740
...a little more of your time
to obtaining class results...
144
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:18,380
...and a little less to trying to
forecast the football variety, hmm?!
145
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:19,820
Good.
146
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:24,500
And talking of football, Hyde-Brown,
I seem to recall that last year,
147
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,940
our first XV lost 11 out of the 12
matches.
148
00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:31,940
Might I suggest in
your case a little more of the coach,
149
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:33,980
...a little less of
the Coach and Horses?
150
00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:38,340
Oh, I say, that's a bit of a reflection,
isn't it, sir? Come, come, come!
151
00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:41,492
You mustn't think, gentlemen,
that I make these comments...
152
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,340
...in a spirit of carping criticism.
153
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,060
On the contrary.
154
00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:46,580
Rainbow? Begging pardon, sir,
155
00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:50,380
...would you mind telling me how
many new boys there is this term?
156
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:53,460
Rainbow, you know better than
to interrupt my conferences!
157
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,560
I gave you a note this morning.
We're expecting TWO.
158
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,460
You may be expecting two, sir.
You're going to get 102!
159
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:03,180
See mr. Matthews about it later and
go away now, please!...I'm sorry.
160
00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:08,700
"217 trunks, 217 tuck boxes",
it says here.
161
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:14,020
"Invoice 7348", er...
"British Railways".
162
00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:18,020
I'm not in the least concerned about
what the British Railways think it is.
163
00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:20,300
It's a mistake. Take it away
and forget about it!
164
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:24,260
You can't hardly forget 217 trunks
and tuck boxes, sir.
165
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:27,100
This is worse than teaching
algebra to the remove.
166
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,640
It's only on paper, man. On paper!
167
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,180
Take a look a the drive, sir. Drive?!
168
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:35,940
217 trunks and tuck boxes! Uh!
169
00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:40,500
217?! Good gracious!
170
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,500
And all correct too, sir.
I counted 'em.
171
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:50,580
This is what comes of nationalising
the railways.
172
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:53,780
The fellows don't know their LMS
from the Southern Region.
173
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:56,740
Instead of the ordinary muddle,
we've complete chaos.
174
00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:59,045
You and Edwin will have
to send those trunks
175
00:10:59,046 --> 00:11:01,100
...that don't belong to us
back to the station.
176
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:03,780
How do I know which don't belong?
Check the register.
177
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:07,340
If there's any clash about names,
you can tell by the initials.
178
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,900
Here we have a D Johnson. Now,
we have an A Johnson, but no...
179
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,780
But this is addressed
to "St Swithin's,
180
00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:17,220
"Nutbourne College, Nutbourne, Hants".
There's another St Swithin's here, sir.
181
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:20,780
I suppose this isn't
some fourth-form prank?
182
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,620
I don't offer this as a solution,
sir, but a letter came this morning
183
00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:27,020
addressed to the Secretary
of St Swithin's.
184
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,397
What did you do with it?
185
00:11:28,398 --> 00:11:31,060
I marked it "unknown",
returned it to the Ministry.
186
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:35,540
The Ministry?! The Ministry wrote
to St Swithin's HERE? Yes, sir.
187
00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:38,060
And you didn't open it?
Oh, no, of course not.
188
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:42,340
Excuse me, sir, but I may be able to
offer a helping hand here, sir. Oh?
189
00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:46,620
You know the postman's supposed to
clear the box in the hall at midday?
190
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:49,980
Yes, well? Well, as a result of an
arrangement between him and me,
191
00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:54,020
I've been in the habit of taking
the post to the village for him.
192
00:11:54,220 --> 00:11:58,060
And today you haven't? Not yet,
but, er...I've got the key, sir.
193
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,300
I see. Then the GPO
don't receive the letters...
194
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:04,220
...until you hand them over in the
village post office. Er...pub, sir.
195
00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:07,180
That poses a pretty problem as
to when exactly the letters...
196
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:09,149
...become the property
of the Post Office.
197
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:11,460
It's not a problem I intend
to go into too deeply.
198
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:15,900
"The attached form E.43 should also be
signed by a responsible representative...
199
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,460
...of the school whose premises
are being shared."
200
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:20,180
"Whose premises are being shared"?!
201
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:24,180
What on earth could have happened?
"Name of school to be re-evacuated..."
202
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,860
Re-evacuated?! What
on earth's re-evacuated?!
203
00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:30,220
Someone's written against it
"St Swithin's". That's them.
204
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:33,040
"Destination Nutbourne College,
Hants." Us.
205
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,860
"Date of arrival, 17th September..."
Today.
206
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:38,060
But it can't! I mean, it can't!
207
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:41,180
I'll get on to this Government
department at once.
208
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:42,495
Whitehall 1312, please.
209
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:46,220
...If anyone should send a school
here without first consulting me -
210
00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:49,760
...it's outside the bounds of
possibility. Shall I stop Rainbow
211
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,100
...taking that luggage to the station?
Certainly not. If the...
212
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:57,580
Hello, I want to speak to the Schools
Resettlement Department, please.
213
00:12:57,780 --> 00:13:01,460
I beg your pardon?
But there must be somebody there.
214
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:04,420
Put me on to somebody somewhere
else.
215
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,620
Nobody?!
216
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,500
It's fantastic
217
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:14,340
It's absolutely fantastic
218
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:16,700
They've closed the office
and gone home.
219
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:20,460
So, at any moment, we
may expect 100 extra boys.
220
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:24,220
Well, I must talk
to Mrs Hampstead at once.
221
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:27,140
100 extra boys.
With staff, I presume.
222
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,860
Not even a postcard to let
us know they're coming.
223
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,580
Nothing we can do about it until
I talk to someone in the morning.
224
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,820
We've barely enough space
for our own boys.
225
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,860
You rang, sir. I did.
226
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:43,100
Mrs. Hampstead, you will prepare
to receive 217 boys. Pardon?
227
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,900
117 of our boys and 100
from another school.
228
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:51,340
I see. The...the other school will
remain for one night only.
229
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:56,684
Now, let me get this clear, sir.
I'm to expect 217 boys tonight?
230
00:13:56,884 --> 00:14:00,868
That's right. There's only one way
to deal with a crisis like this.
231
00:14:00,869 --> 00:14:02,500
First...
What are they going to eat?
232
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,180
Mmm? Well, they'll have
what we have, of course.
233
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:07,103
Well, if they have it, we won't.
234
00:14:07,104 --> 00:14:09,900
Do you mind if we deal
with first things first?
235
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,620
With small boys - that comes first.
236
00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:15,300
Where are they going to sleep?
There's no room in the dormitories,
237
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,060
...so...we'll have to find
somewhere else. At Harlingham,
238
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:22,500
I'll be dealing with far greater numbers
of boys. This might prove a blessing.
239
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,356
That's one way of looking at it!
Yes!
240
00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:26,500
...Well, I propose we make
a tour of the school.
241
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,780
With a little application,
we can settle the whole problem.
242
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:32,540
Shall I get Rainbow to unload
those trunks? Oh, yes.
243
00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:35,300
I'd forgotten all about them.
Come along, everybody.
244
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,955
Oh, Matthews, as to bedding,
245
00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:39,900
we've all those straw palliasses
we used in summer camp.
246
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:43,620
I'll have Rainbow get 'em out.
Sir, while you're running around,
247
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:46,140
I'll slip down and break
the good news to cook.
248
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,460
Mrs Hampstead, we are faced
with an emergency.
249
00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:51,900
I expect the staff to rise to it.
They'll rise all right Good.
250
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:56,620
Phew! I don't know how it's ever
going to get as far as the station.
251
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:59,460
No! How long did it take you
to load that lot?
252
00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:02,735
Oh, 25 minutes.
Well, you've got a chance to beat it.
253
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,300
You've got to unload it again.
254
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:07,020
Huh? St Swithin's is coming
to stay for the night.
255
00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:10,900
You're not speaking in earnest?
That's the strength of it, sorry.
256
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,420
Phew!
257
00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:15,420
Somebody must have gone barmy.
258
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:19,420
100 bloomin' extra kids
first day of term!
259
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:23,940
Your turn to do the shoes.
260
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,440
The staff sleeping problem
presents some difficulties.
261
00:15:27,441 --> 00:15:30,020
Whose room is this?
Hyde-Brown's and mine.
262
00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:33,460
Pleasant little room.
Now, let's see,
263
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:38,380
...do you think we might put two more
beds in here, hmm? Any difficulties?
264
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:40,380
None, except how to get into bed.
265
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:43,343
You're not adopting a very
helpful attitude, Billings.
266
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,307
We're obliged to offer
the school our hospitality.
267
00:15:46,308 --> 00:15:47,740
I suggest we do it with grace.
268
00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:51,100
It's not too much to ask you to
share your rooms with the staff.
269
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,220
We won't find suitable
accommodation for their headmaster.
270
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,502
If you are looking to
me to give you a lead,
271
00:15:56,503 --> 00:15:59,261
...Billings, I must say that
I should be only too glad...
272
00:15:59,461 --> 00:16:02,220
...to share my room with my
opposite number in St Swithin's.
273
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:10,740
As I expected - an
ancient mausoleum.
274
00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:13,940
Topping grounds for the Guides
and Brownies to muster in.
275
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,187
The mustering of the
Guides and Brownies...
276
00:16:16,188 --> 00:16:18,540
...is not our only activity,
miss Gossage. No.
277
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,823
If there are any dorms
facings south,
278
00:16:20,824 --> 00:16:23,140
Miss Jezzard, see that
our girls get them.
279
00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:26,420
The infant animal needs space
to breathe and blow.
280
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,563
We could settle the
whole thing quickly...
281
00:16:28,564 --> 00:16:31,020
...by sleeping the kids two in a bed.
End to end.
282
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,880
We've the parents to consider.
283
00:16:32,881 --> 00:16:35,740
We must appear to give them
value for their money.
284
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:40,340
No, I'm afraid we must seek other fields
for St Swithin's. That's a thought. Mmm?
285
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,920
Fields, sir.
286
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,473
I'm quite sure, Hyde-Brown,
your ready wit...
287
00:16:45,474 --> 00:16:47,760
...must make you exceedingly
popular in the fourth form.
288
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,060
Heavenly place.
289
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:55,980
I never heard of anything like it!
290
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,485
Mr. Pond may think
he's obliging someone,
291
00:16:58,486 --> 00:17:00,900
...but he's not obliging US.
We're not slaves.
292
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,460
Nobody said you were.
293
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:05,466
The front door bell's ringing, Milly.
Oh, let it ring.
294
00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,660
I shall speak to Mr
Hyde-Brown about this.
295
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,060
Evidently not on their toes.
296
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,460
We'll try our luck inside.
297
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:22,100
Well, a tap on that gong should
bring them from their burrows.
298
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:23,540
Yes, miss Whitchurch.
299
00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:29,180
A tap, Gossage. I said a tap.
300
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:31,020
You're not introducing a film.
301
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:34,020
We're not getting on very fast,
gentlemen.
302
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,820
There are still 60 boys
to accommodate.
303
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:40,153
Matthews, find out
who's ringing that gong.
304
00:17:40,154 --> 00:17:42,540
If it's one of the boys,
give him 100 lines.
305
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,180
There must be somewhere else.
Uh...
306
00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:46,700
The attic.
307
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:51,420
We can't bumble around here all day.
...What's in there?
308
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:54,740
It's another sort of hall,
miss Whitchurch.
309
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:03,980
I seem to detect an odour
of last term's cottage pie.
310
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:18,620
A-hem.
311
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:23,039
Yes, well, when Rainbow
has cleaned all this up,
312
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,900
there ought to be room here
for about, ooh, 60 boys.
313
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,070
What about air, sir?
Air?! Oof!
314
00:18:28,071 --> 00:18:31,460
Let me see now.
Well, if we open this skylight...
315
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,203
Mmm! Well, I daresay it will open.
316
00:18:33,204 --> 00:18:36,540
And keep the hatch wide, there ought
to be a nice through draught.
317
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,580
I'm wondering more and more
what's in store for us, Gossage.
318
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:43,900
It's a perfectly ghoulish atmosphere.
The sunlight seems quite out of place.
319
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:50,680
No polish on the stairs or
banisters, and dust everywhere!
320
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,740
Whatever else they teach here,
it certainly isn't housecraft.
321
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:03,140
Are you in the habit of writing your
name all over the place, Gossage?
322
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:06,660
No, Miss Whitchurch. Then kindly
stop doing it at once.
323
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:16,460
Well, the mistresses'
common room, I assume.
324
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:20,460
Huh. Cold comfort farm
by all appearances!
325
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,220
And billiards!
326
00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:27,180
How very strange.
327
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,780
No tips.
328
00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:32,860
Huntin', shootin' and
fishin', it seems.
329
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,740
"Wetherby Pond, 1939".
330
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:38,660
But no mention of who caught it.
331
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:40,740
Probably bought at auction.
332
00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:43,620
Boxing!
333
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:46,700
Self-defence, I suppose.
Well, doesn't surprise me...
334
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:48,500
...after reading the school motto.
335
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:54,500
No. Heavy smokers, too. No signs
of lipstick. That's astonishing.
336
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,100
Cards?!
337
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,780
The Racehorse?!
338
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,180
Gaming, nicotine, fisticuffs -
339
00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:04,780
...we're moving in a
descending spiral of iniquity!
340
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:09,740
Ah! A woman's bookshelf is an
infallible guide to her character.
341
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,620
Oxford English Dictionary,
342
00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:13,620
Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable,
343
00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:16,237
The Diary Of Samuel Pepys - abridged.
344
00:20:16,238 --> 00:20:19,100
Well, that's something
to be thankful for
345
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,620
What's up here? A-hem.
346
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,700
Memoirs Of Casanova.
347
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:30,740
Wasn't that the book we caught Jessica
James reading in the closet? Yes. Yes.
348
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,840
Decameron Nights.
349
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,740
Well, really!
350
00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:37,500
Whatever else this establishment
may or may not be,
351
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:41,464
...it's clearly not a suitable place
to bring carefully nurtured girls to.
352
00:20:41,465 --> 00:20:42,780
I should jolly well say not.
353
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:45,711
But what can we do about it?
We must tell the Ministry.
354
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,900
They got us into it.
They must get us out of it.
355
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:52,700
Well, that settles the sleeping
question. Now, it's the meals.
356
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:57,460
Cook will simply have to stagger them.
That shouldn't be difficult. Come along.
357
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:05,220
Rainbow can bring down the table
from the carpenter's shop.
358
00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:07,020
What's this? "Gossage"?
359
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:09,423
Mmm? Some of the boys
starting to arrive?
360
00:21:09,424 --> 00:21:11,940
Give the boy who wrote
his name there 50 lines.
361
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,950
"Gossage"?
I don't know any Gossages.
362
00:21:13,951 --> 00:21:16,660
Maybe it's a St Swithin's kid.
Then give him 50 lines.
363
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:20,340
I'll not have their boys writing
their names all over our dust...
364
00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,700
Who's that?
365
00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:28,620
Er, little girl. Yes?
366
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:32,780
Who... Who are you? I mean, what do
you want? This is Nutbourne College.
367
00:21:32,980 --> 00:21:34,868
That's right.
I just biked on ahead...
368
00:21:34,869 --> 00:21:37,660
...with Miss Harper's things.
She's with the crocodile.
369
00:21:37,860 --> 00:21:42,580
Crocodile?! What on earth's she talking
about? Who... Who's Miss Harper?
370
00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:45,740
Miss Harper? Well, she's English
and history and jolly dee!
371
00:21:45,940 --> 00:21:48,900
In fact, she's the only decent
mistress in St Swithin's.
372
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,420
St Swithin's?!
You don't mean to say...
373
00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:55,100
...that yours is a school
of boys AND girls? Oh, no!
374
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,780
Only girls.
375
00:21:56,980 --> 00:22:01,580
Does this mean, sir, that we
are to expect 100 young ladies?
376
00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:05,410
It means not only have the
Ministry made a mistake...
377
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:06,980
...in sending a school here at all,
378
00:22:07,180 --> 00:22:11,180
...but they've apparently been guilty
of an appalling sexual aberration.
379
00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:14,080
I shall ask for the home number
of the man responsible.
380
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,980
If they refuse, I shall speak
to the Minister himself.
381
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,909
Do you know what this means, old boy?
Popsies, scores of them.
382
00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:24,940
There are only two types
of school mistress, chum -
383
00:22:25,140 --> 00:22:26,460
the battleaxe and the Amazon.
384
00:22:26,660 --> 00:22:29,700
I bet you five bob they fall
into one class or the other.
385
00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:34,740
The condition of the place
is indescribable.
386
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,300
Dust and dirt everywhere.
387
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:39,100
And the staff seem to match
their surroundings.
388
00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:40,796
I've seen quite enough to know
389
00:22:40,797 --> 00:22:43,500
...it's no place to bring
well-brought-up girls to...
390
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,323
I agree with that last statement.
391
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:48,700
Will you kindly remove yourself
from my chair, my telephone...
392
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,698
Sorry, I didn't catch what you said...
393
00:22:50,699 --> 00:22:53,260
Will you kindly move
yourself from my telephone?!
394
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:55,620
Will you please refrain
from interfering?
395
00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,001
I don't know who you are,
396
00:22:57,002 --> 00:23:00,051
but I'm in the middle of a
conversation with the Ministry.
397
00:23:00,251 --> 00:23:03,300
Ministry?! Hello? Give me that!
Will you desist at once, sir?!
398
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,780
You leave me no alternative.
How dare you, sir?
399
00:23:05,980 --> 00:23:07,140
How dare YOU, madam?!
400
00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:10,620
Hello, hello. This is
Wetherby Pond speaking,
401
00:23:10,820 --> 00:23:13,102
...the headmaster
of Nutbourne College.
402
00:23:13,103 --> 00:23:16,405
I don't know how much you know
about what's going on here,
403
00:23:16,605 --> 00:23:19,907
...but I will not have a girls'
school on my premises,
404
00:23:19,908 --> 00:23:22,700
...not for a single day,
not for a single hour, not...
405
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:25,350
I don't want your sympathy, man.
I want action.
406
00:23:25,351 --> 00:23:27,686
I want these women removed
bag and baggage.
407
00:23:27,886 --> 00:23:30,221
And I'm not putting
down this telephone...
408
00:23:30,222 --> 00:23:33,020
...until I know what you're
going to do about it.
409
00:23:33,220 --> 00:23:34,420
Have I made myself clear?
410
00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:36,578
Oh, yeah, I understand.
But I think...
411
00:23:36,579 --> 00:23:39,860
...you'd better have a word with
the guv'nor when he comes back.
412
00:23:40,060 --> 00:23:43,380
Where is he? Eh? I think
he's stoking the boilers.
413
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:46,740
To whom am I talking?
414
00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:51,420
Thank you.
415
00:23:51,620 --> 00:23:56,060
You were speaking to the junior
assistant caretaker.
416
00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:57,740
The Ministry is closed!
417
00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:03,900
I take it you are some sort of
official in this girls' school.
418
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:06,395
I don't like your tone, my man.
I'll answer you...
419
00:24:06,396 --> 00:24:08,348
...when you're in
possession of yourself.
420
00:24:08,548 --> 00:24:10,300
Madam, I'm well able
to control myself.
421
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:13,685
Unaccustomed as I am to having
girls' schools thrust upon me,
422
00:24:13,686 --> 00:24:16,900
...no doubt, in years to come,
I shall look upon this as amusing.
423
00:24:17,100 --> 00:24:18,677
But I shan't. The only solution...
424
00:24:18,678 --> 00:24:22,500
...is to send your girls back home
until the whole position is rectified.
425
00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:25,209
Out of the question.
At least 50 of my girls...
426
00:24:25,210 --> 00:24:28,860
...come from the colonies. St
Swithin's specialises in outposts.
427
00:24:29,060 --> 00:24:31,247
I'm not at all concerned
where they come from!
428
00:24:31,248 --> 00:24:33,180
It is impossible for
them to remain here.
429
00:24:33,380 --> 00:24:36,620
It is equally impossible
for them to go elsewhere.
430
00:24:36,820 --> 00:24:38,980
At any moment now,
they'll be arriving,
431
00:24:39,180 --> 00:24:42,100
...hot and tired from their journey,
bursting for a hot bath
432
00:24:42,300 --> 00:24:44,500
and peckish for their high tea.
By the way, a-hem,
433
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:50,260
...my name is Whitchurch. I am
Principal of St Swithin's.
434
00:24:50,460 --> 00:24:51,460
Oh...
435
00:24:51,660 --> 00:24:54,100
How do you...?
How do you do?
436
00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:57,084
What's more, I make it
a rule that junior school...
437
00:24:57,085 --> 00:24:59,780
...go up the wooden hill to
Bedfordshire at 6.30 sharp...
438
00:24:59,980 --> 00:25:03,660
...with their milk and biscuits -
digestive. Have you digestive?
439
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:05,540
I don't know.
440
00:25:05,740 --> 00:25:08,238
But if there are any,
they'll be eaten by my boys.
441
00:25:08,438 --> 00:25:10,937
Oh, come now, it's no use
playing dog in the manger.
442
00:25:10,938 --> 00:25:12,060
Let us face this squarely.
443
00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:15,740
Which day do your boys arrive?
Today at 6.15,
444
00:25:15,940 --> 00:25:19,420
hot, tired and peckish
for their high tea.
445
00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:21,460
Yes, I see your problem.
446
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:25,384
I'm grateful for that.
We must don our thinking caps.
447
00:25:25,385 --> 00:25:27,660
Madam, I'm not
donning anything.
448
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,100
Oh!
449
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,100
We've just been hurled
out of our common room...
450
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:35,500
By a bunch of ruffians.
One pulled me out of my chair.
451
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,799
Miss Whitchurch, you
realise where we are?
452
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,220
You don't imagine I've been here
indulging in social chit-chat.
453
00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:43,220
Mr Pond, permit me
to introduce my staff.
454
00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,660
No, no, no, no, no.
I don't want to appear rude,
455
00:25:45,860 --> 00:25:49,860
but there's no point in meeting them
since they're not going to remain here.
456
00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:54,060
But, madam, I am surprised that you
should ignore the domestic absurdity...
457
00:25:54,260 --> 00:25:57,420
...of bringing 100 girls here.
There are feeding problems,
458
00:25:57,620 --> 00:26:01,620
servant problems... There's no
problem there, sir. They're leaving.
459
00:26:01,820 --> 00:26:03,820
< Left, right. Left, right. Left...
460
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:06,020
Oh, good egg! Here's comes our croc!
461
00:26:11,340 --> 00:26:13,140
And there goes OURS.
462
00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:21,860
Three years it's taken me to get a
good kitchen staff. What am I to do?
463
00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:27,300
That's childishly simple. You forget you
have a girls' school with you. Forget
464
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:30,033
It will provide an absolutely
superb opportunity...
465
00:26:30,034 --> 00:26:32,820
...for my advanced cookery
girls to show their paces.
466
00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:35,020
No, madam, not that.
467
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:38,100
Not that! That's more than flesh
and blood can stand.
468
00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:41,740
I'll go through purgatory with you,
but hell - no! Hell, no!
469
00:26:41,940 --> 00:26:43,600
I owe you a dollar.
470
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:48,160
Thanks. We're in
for a whale of a time.
471
00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:50,531
Morris dancing in the gym,
eurhythmics on the lawn...
472
00:26:50,532 --> 00:26:52,936
Queues for the bathroom,
no smoking anywhere,
473
00:26:52,937 --> 00:26:54,660
...and compulsory cocoa at 11.
474
00:26:55,060 --> 00:26:57,545
I'm for a couple of voluntary
pints at the Coach and Horses...
475
00:26:57,546 --> 00:26:59,720
...before the little beasts arrive.
Any takers?
476
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,300
I'll gladly stand anyone a pint
if they'll care to join me.
477
00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:07,944
I'm a lifelong teetotaller,
but I'm almost inclined...
478
00:27:07,945 --> 00:27:09,680
...to accept Brown's invitation.
479
00:27:09,780 --> 00:27:11,560
I'm GOING to.
480
00:27:16,340 --> 00:27:17,660
Is this right?
481
00:27:17,860 --> 00:27:20,940
Yes, it's right. Press on.
Straight ahead. Let me...
482
00:27:23,620 --> 00:27:25,860
This has cost me five bob.
483
00:27:26,060 --> 00:27:29,480
Yes, cheap at the price.
Good afternoon. Good afternoon.
484
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,100
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
That's quite all right. Allow me.
485
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:34,580
Thank you.
486
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,882
I'm Richard Tassell.
I teach English here.
487
00:27:41,883 --> 00:27:44,540
So do I, but...
We'll have something in common!
488
00:27:44,740 --> 00:27:46,820
I'm Victor Hyde-Brown,
sports master here.
489
00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:50,160
Won't you sit down, Miss...?
Harper....Harper.
490
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,500
The rot's setting in. Cigarette?
Thank you.
491
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:55,740
I never expected anything like this.
492
00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:59,500
How many mistresses have you?
Well, I, er...
493
00:28:01,140 --> 00:28:03,100
I must talk to you, gentlemen.
494
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:07,260
We're in an unprecedented
predicament. Miss Harper - Mr Pond.
495
00:28:07,460 --> 00:28:09,045
How do you do?
How do you do?
496
00:28:09,046 --> 00:28:12,140
Your colleagues are in
the first door on the right.
497
00:28:12,340 --> 00:28:16,340
May I leave my things here?
Yes, of course.
498
00:28:17,540 --> 00:28:19,563
Who is he?
I'll explain later.
499
00:28:19,564 --> 00:28:22,300
Hyde-Brown, will you
please close that door?
500
00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:27,820
Thank you. Now, gentlemen, we are
faced with an appalling dilemma.
501
00:28:28,020 --> 00:28:30,420
We have a wooden horse in our midst.
502
00:28:30,620 --> 00:28:32,820
Possession is nine points of the law.
503
00:28:33,020 --> 00:28:37,060
Our girls are in the hall, their boys
haven't arrived. Come in, Miss Harper.
504
00:28:37,260 --> 00:28:39,957
Did you pass a long, bald-headed person?
You mean Pond?
505
00:28:39,958 --> 00:28:41,620
He's in the common room.
Excellent.
506
00:28:41,820 --> 00:28:45,380
We'll find out where their dormitories
are and take our girls there.
507
00:28:45,580 --> 00:28:47,380
Ladies, you're facing
your supreme test.
508
00:28:47,580 --> 00:28:51,388
Remember our netball cry.
Effort, St Swithin's, effort!
509
00:28:51,389 --> 00:28:52,820
Quite so,
Miss Gossage.
510
00:28:53,020 --> 00:28:56,380
If trespassers threaten your
property, you build fences. Hmm?
511
00:28:56,580 --> 00:28:59,220
I propose we lock the dormitories.
Hear, hear!
512
00:28:59,420 --> 00:29:03,340
But we must act before that female
spawns her young all over the building.
513
00:29:03,540 --> 00:29:07,180
Billings, take the fourth-form
dormitory, and Hyde-Brown, the fifth.
514
00:29:07,380 --> 00:29:09,502
And Matthews and Joue,
the third and the sixth.
515
00:29:09,702 --> 00:29:11,825
Have you got a key to
the common room, sir?
516
00:29:11,826 --> 00:29:13,740
We don't have to lock
this room, Billings?
517
00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:16,500
No, and we can't UNLOCK it
unless you've got a key.
518
00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:24,780
Is this a practical joke?
The key's on the outside.
519
00:29:24,980 --> 00:29:26,460
This is the last straw.
520
00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:29,500
Come along now. Hurry up!
We've got plenty to do.
521
00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:31,580
Stand by, Tennyson, Longfellow.
522
00:29:31,780 --> 00:29:35,100
Miss Armstrong, as quick as you can.
No time to lose.
523
00:29:36,980 --> 00:29:40,340
The honour of Nutbourne is at stake.
All right. I'll have a go,
524
00:29:40,540 --> 00:29:42,924
...but it's not much use
unlocking the stable door...
525
00:29:42,925 --> 00:29:44,780
...after the horses
have got there first.
526
00:29:44,980 --> 00:29:47,860
What's happening up there?
Hey, look out, sir!
527
00:29:51,620 --> 00:29:54,940
Gosh, it's old Whizzo!
Hey, Whizzo!
528
00:29:55,940 --> 00:29:58,460
That's it, Hyde-Brown.
That's it. Press on.
529
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:04,380
That's it. You're almost there.
530
00:30:04,580 --> 00:30:07,500
You're doing splendidly, Hyde-Brown.
531
00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:15,180
Don't look down!
532
00:30:19,180 --> 00:30:22,180
Carry on....Go in at once, you boys.
Go straight upstairs...
533
00:30:22,380 --> 00:30:24,860
...to your dormitories and
stay there till I call you.
534
00:30:25,060 --> 00:30:28,380
Any boy left hanging about
will get 500 lines.
535
00:30:31,700 --> 00:30:34,420
Now, then, one leap
and you've done it.
536
00:30:34,620 --> 00:30:38,140
Now, Tennyson and Longfellow,
settle down as quickly as you can.
537
00:30:38,340 --> 00:30:41,359
I'll have their trunks sent up
in a few minutes. Very well.
538
00:30:41,559 --> 00:30:44,578
Not in here, Miss Gossage.
Follow me, Milton and Browning.
539
00:30:44,579 --> 00:30:46,300
Quick as you can.
No dawdling.
540
00:30:51,060 --> 00:30:54,580
I say, Talbot, there's
girls in our dormitory.
541
00:30:54,780 --> 00:30:56,665
Girls?! Where?!
Hundreds of them.
542
00:30:56,666 --> 00:30:58,980
They're everywhere.
Have you gone potty?
543
00:30:59,180 --> 00:31:01,850
What are you talking about?
Go and see for yourself.
544
00:31:01,851 --> 00:31:04,415
They're all over the place.
He's right. There are.
545
00:31:04,615 --> 00:31:07,180
That's what I've been trying
to tell them. Let's see.
546
00:31:10,980 --> 00:31:12,720
This way, Milton and Browning.
547
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,460
Come along, girls. Come along.
548
00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:18,500
I realise it's not quite what you're
accustomed to.
549
00:31:18,700 --> 00:31:20,780
What's that?
There's trouble already.
550
00:31:20,781 --> 00:31:24,020
It's something in Tennyson.
Let's go and see at once.
551
00:31:25,860 --> 00:31:27,420
Oh!
552
00:31:46,660 --> 00:31:49,700
You must stop! You must stop!
You must...
553
00:32:04,460 --> 00:32:08,040
Aren't you going to stop them, sir?
There are times, I think,
554
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,820
when little boys should be seen
but not interrupted. Come.
555
00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:31,980
Where am I? The French master's bed.
556
00:34:09,340 --> 00:34:10,940
Madam, I...
557
00:34:13,620 --> 00:34:15,365
Really, this is too much.
558
00:34:15,565 --> 00:34:17,310
I give up my bedroom to you,
559
00:34:17,311 --> 00:34:19,765
only to find my clothes
flung all over the place.
560
00:34:19,965 --> 00:34:22,420
Look, madam, where are
my shirts and underwear?
561
00:34:22,620 --> 00:34:24,140
In the filing cabinet.
562
00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:28,159
It's no use telephoning the Ministry.
563
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,250
There won't be anybody
there before ten o'clock.
564
00:34:31,450 --> 00:34:34,340
It's rough and ready, Jezzard,
but it'll serve. Yes.
565
00:34:34,540 --> 00:34:38,860
Thank you. There we are. Now we'd better
see how they're faring in the kitchen.
566
00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:44,020
Breakfast is at eight sharp,
so don't loiter.
567
00:34:50,980 --> 00:34:53,740
Good morning, girls.
Morning, Miss Whitchurch.
568
00:34:53,940 --> 00:34:57,620
Everything shipshape and Bristol
fashion? Yes, Miss Whitchurch.
569
00:34:57,820 --> 00:35:01,500
The fishcakes are ready, but
there's a hold-up with the porridge.
570
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:05,220
Why? I had to throw one lot away.
Oh, that'll never do.
571
00:35:05,420 --> 00:35:09,600
Now, Angela, you've made porridge
before. Yes, but no-one had to eat it.
572
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,980
That's a defeatist attitude, my dear.
Stir it well and don't shilly-shally.
573
00:35:15,620 --> 00:35:17,180
Now, now, now, Mary!
574
00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:20,460
You know better than to make tea
in that haphazard fashion.
575
00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:23,700
How many people
are you making it for? 233.
576
00:35:23,900 --> 00:35:26,180
Then put in 233 teaspoonsful
577
00:35:26,380 --> 00:35:29,620
and one...
well, perhaps two for the pot.
578
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:32,780
One...
579
00:35:32,980 --> 00:35:34,060
two...
580
00:35:34,260 --> 00:35:38,180
I understand your fishcakes are ready,
Alice. For the past 20 minutes.
581
00:35:38,380 --> 00:35:41,580
I don't want any temperament,
my dear. What did you put in them?
582
00:35:41,780 --> 00:35:43,300
Or shouldn't I ask?
583
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:47,580
Anyway, they smell delicious.
They've gone hard.
584
00:35:47,780 --> 00:35:51,980
Never mind. I don't suppose hungry
little tummies will notice that.
585
00:35:53,380 --> 00:35:55,380
They will afterwards.
586
00:35:55,580 --> 00:35:56,860
28...
587
00:35:57,060 --> 00:35:58,380
29...
588
00:35:58,580 --> 00:35:59,700
130...
589
00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:03,020
These little adventures break
the monotony of school life.
590
00:36:03,220 --> 00:36:04,540
I love monotony.
591
00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:05,620
Oh.
592
00:36:06,940 --> 00:36:08,020
Morning, Mr Pond.
593
00:36:09,180 --> 00:36:10,180
Oh.
594
00:36:10,380 --> 00:36:12,460
I'll just have tea and toast today.
595
00:36:12,660 --> 00:36:14,300
It's five past eight.
596
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:19,020
There's been a slight hiatus with
the porridge. Shall we move in?
597
00:36:22,020 --> 00:36:24,140
What form of grace do you say here?
598
00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:26,876
Well, I usually ask that
we should be grateful
599
00:36:26,877 --> 00:36:28,620
for what we're about to receive.
600
00:36:39,860 --> 00:36:42,620
Please, sir, I don't want any more.
601
00:36:42,820 --> 00:36:44,180
No, sir.
602
00:36:45,740 --> 00:36:47,380
Oh, very well.
603
00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:50,820
It's still Arkwright, but he's trying
to put me on to a Mr Tripp.
604
00:36:51,020 --> 00:36:54,300
Apparently Mr Bullock got
the papers from Mr Forrester.
605
00:36:54,500 --> 00:36:58,540
He passed them on to Mr Arkwright
who passed them on to Mr Tripp.
606
00:36:59,860 --> 00:37:05,020
We've got to sit here while
they keep on passing around...
607
00:37:05,220 --> 00:37:08,900
The girls must write home, Miss
Gossage. Rely on their discretion.
608
00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:11,700
The younger girls are the trouble,
Miss Whitchurch.
609
00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:15,060
Monica Redfern wrote, "Dear Mummy,
I'm having an exciting time.
610
00:37:15,260 --> 00:37:19,540
"We've been sent to a boys' school by
mistake." That's a statement of fact.
611
00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:21,300
"Everybody's having lots of fun.
612
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:25,540
"The mistresses are sharing
the masters' rooms." Ah, yes.
613
00:37:25,740 --> 00:37:27,580
I see what you mean.
614
00:37:27,780 --> 00:37:31,260
Well, we must institute
a system of censorship at once.
615
00:37:31,460 --> 00:37:35,260
Yes, Miss Whitchurch. I advise you
to take similar steps, Mr Pond.
616
00:37:35,460 --> 00:37:38,250
We have a bond of trust
here at Nutbourne,
617
00:37:38,251 --> 00:37:40,700
...the boys and I,
which is never abused.
618
00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:43,820
Yes, Billings?
I caught young Sutton posting this.
619
00:37:44,020 --> 00:37:47,860
There's nothing against the boys
sending parcels home. What is it?
620
00:37:48,060 --> 00:37:51,660
A fishcake. And Sutton's father
is an analytical chemist.
621
00:37:51,860 --> 00:37:55,460
There's a note inside which reads,
"Dear Dad, our breakfast.
622
00:37:55,660 --> 00:37:57,700
"Get weaving. Reg."
623
00:37:59,460 --> 00:38:00,780
THUD
624
00:38:02,740 --> 00:38:05,540
Well, I suppose
we all have black sheep.
625
00:38:05,740 --> 00:38:09,100
Want me to skim
through the rest of the flock?
626
00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:12,660
Yes. I suggest you get together
with this lady.
627
00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:19,300
Hello, is that Mr Tripp?
Mr Tripp! It is?
628
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:20,740
Good... Mr Tripp?
629
00:38:20,940 --> 00:38:23,460
Mr Pond. I take it Mr
Arkwright has told you...
630
00:38:23,461 --> 00:38:25,780
...what Mr Bullock told him
I told Mr Forrester?
631
00:38:25,980 --> 00:38:30,220
Yes, I'm acquainted with the facts.
I just can't think how it occurred.
632
00:38:30,420 --> 00:38:33,820
...I wouldn't like to promise that.
It'll take a little while.
633
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:37,740
You're not an approved school,
by any chance?
634
00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:42,020
I'll do everything I can to
expedite matters. Good morning.
635
00:39:16,820 --> 00:39:21,060
Will these little blighters
never stop writing home?
636
00:39:21,260 --> 00:39:23,300
I can't pass one in ten of these.
637
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:25,220
No, nor can I.
638
00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:29,940
Still, you know, I do think it's
been heaps of fun working together.
639
00:39:30,140 --> 00:39:33,500
It has, hasn't it?
Not my idea of fun, Miss Gossage.
640
00:39:35,620 --> 00:39:37,220
Call me Sausage.
641
00:39:39,380 --> 00:39:44,940
"That which we call a rose, by any
other name would smell as sweet..."
642
00:39:45,140 --> 00:39:48,540
Thank you, Betty. Does anyone
know the Good Night passage?
643
00:39:48,740 --> 00:39:50,980
I do, Miss Harper.
Very well, Barbara.
644
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,300
Where shall I start, Miss Harper?
645
00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:55,020
From "Well, do not swear."
646
00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:59,300
"Well, do not swear, although I..."
647
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:04,060
Oh, do you think I might borrow
another duster, Miss Harper?
648
00:40:04,260 --> 00:40:07,580
I mislaid the last one.
That's the fifth in three days.
649
00:40:07,780 --> 00:40:11,940
As many as that? The children will
begin to misconstrue your intentions.
650
00:40:12,140 --> 00:40:15,660
Misconstrue? One or two
seem to be doing so already.
651
00:40:15,860 --> 00:40:18,740
Barbara, don't stand staring,
carry on.
652
00:40:18,940 --> 00:40:22,120
"I have no joy of
this contract tonight...
653
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,300
It is too rash, too unadvised,
too sudden...
654
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:29,100
Too like the lightning
which doth cease to be..."
655
00:40:29,300 --> 00:40:32,780
"E'er one can say, 'It lightens'
Sweet, good night...
656
00:40:32,980 --> 00:40:36,040
This bud of love...
By summer's ripening breath...
657
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:39,300
May prove a beauteous flower
when next we meet.
658
00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:41,860
Good night, good night!"
659
00:40:42,060 --> 00:40:46,020
Make it good morning and return
to your class, Mr Tassell.
660
00:40:46,220 --> 00:40:48,980
Well, I...I haven't got a class,
Miss Whitchurch.
661
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:53,180
Then don't interrupt ours. I made it
perfectly plain on the noticeboard
662
00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:56,020
that there was to be
no interschool poodle-faking.
663
00:40:56,220 --> 00:40:58,340
And while I...
664
00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:04,260
Well, really!
665
00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:07,140
The starboard engine
had gone for a burton,
666
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:10,220
...and there was I upside down
with nothing on the clock.
667
00:41:10,420 --> 00:41:12,260
So I just pressed on.
668
00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:15,700
You must have had a
gorgeously exciting time of it.
669
00:41:15,900 --> 00:41:18,840
Oh! I'd simply have adored
to see you in your uniform.
670
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,980
Well, I looked much the same
as the rest of the bunch.
671
00:41:22,180 --> 00:41:24,820
I say, you girls are bang-on for 17.
672
00:41:25,020 --> 00:41:28,220
Mr Brown, what are you doing
with my seniors?
673
00:41:28,420 --> 00:41:32,300
I was just showing them the petunias.
Jolly good display this year.
674
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:36,280
A bit past their best, of course.
Will you leave us this minute?
675
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:40,260
I was only giving them a few hints,
facts of nature, nothing else.
676
00:41:40,460 --> 00:41:44,220
You girls get back to your
indoor botany at once.
677
00:41:44,420 --> 00:41:47,900
I know it's slightly distracting
to have to work in the hall,
678
00:41:48,100 --> 00:41:50,900
but we must try and profit
through adversity.
679
00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:55,022
We'll choose a phrase at random,
and let us see if we can analyse it.
680
00:41:55,223 --> 00:41:57,981
Morning, boys.
Morning, miss Whitchurch.
681
00:41:58,181 --> 00:42:00,740
We'll take a phrase...
Please, Mr Pond,
682
00:42:00,940 --> 00:42:05,100
...ask your masters not to consort
with my staff and girls.
683
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:08,220
And I think it advisable
to alter the curriculum...
684
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:10,500
...to cut out the biology classes.
685
00:42:13,940 --> 00:42:18,060
Let us analyse that excellent
phrase of John Knox's,
686
00:42:18,260 --> 00:42:20,220
"The first blast of the trumpet...
687
00:42:20,420 --> 00:42:23,380
...against the monstrous
regiment of women."
688
00:42:25,020 --> 00:42:26,700
That's enough.
689
00:42:27,860 --> 00:42:29,940
The verb in this case is understood.
690
00:42:30,140 --> 00:42:32,620
Like... Like some other things.
691
00:42:32,820 --> 00:42:35,815
So we may take it that
the sentence runs,
692
00:42:35,816 --> 00:42:38,740
"This IS the first
blast of the trumpet."
693
00:42:38,940 --> 00:42:40,340
et cetera, et cetera.
694
00:42:40,540 --> 00:42:43,820
This - the subject. Is - the verb.
Everyone paying attention?
695
00:42:44,020 --> 00:42:45,660
Yes, sir.
Very well.
696
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:49,620
Talbot! Sir. Take 100 lines.
697
00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:51,460
Yes, sir.
698
00:42:51,660 --> 00:42:54,380
How are we to deal
with the rest of the...?
699
00:42:55,980 --> 00:42:59,420
What about the object?
Good morning. Good morning.
700
00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:03,780
Can any boy tell me
what is the object...
701
00:43:03,980 --> 00:43:08,100
I have called on behalf of Miss
Winston......in this particular case?
702
00:43:08,300 --> 00:43:10,660
Whose bed is that
and where are you taking it?
703
00:43:10,860 --> 00:43:13,420
It belonged to the late cook, sir.
704
00:43:13,620 --> 00:43:15,980
Miss W says Miss J's to have it.
705
00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:19,100
We'll see about that.
Take it to my study at once.
706
00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:24,660
I'm sure Mr Pond will listen
to reason if I can speak to him.
707
00:43:24,860 --> 00:43:28,020
He's teaching, I tell you.
You don't seem to realise...
708
00:43:28,220 --> 00:43:31,140
What is the object?
Up your end, Edwin.
709
00:43:31,340 --> 00:43:34,420
What is the object...? Mr Pond...
710
00:43:37,780 --> 00:43:41,780
What's the use? I might as well
try to teach in Waterloo station.
711
00:43:41,980 --> 00:43:44,548
There's a lady at the door,
sir, wanting to know...
712
00:43:44,549 --> 00:43:47,260
...if you'll vote for miss
Winston in the election.
713
00:43:48,540 --> 00:43:52,780
Mrs Hampstead, tell your lady
that if there is a male candidate,
714
00:43:52,980 --> 00:43:57,220
whether he's Conservative,
socialist, communist or anarchist,
715
00:43:57,420 --> 00:43:59,060
...or, for that matter, Liberal,
716
00:43:59,260 --> 00:44:02,300
...he will have my vote.
- That's what I thought, sir.
717
00:44:04,780 --> 00:44:10,220
There is NO object in this at all,
so let us take the word "trumpet".
718
00:44:10,420 --> 00:44:12,526
It's no use hanging back
like that, Margaret.
719
00:44:12,527 --> 00:44:13,980
It'll only be the worse for you.
720
00:44:14,180 --> 00:44:17,380
What do you propose
we ought to do with "trumpet"?
721
00:44:17,580 --> 00:44:21,117
Margaret, you mustn't think just
because you're in a school like this
722
00:44:21,118 --> 00:44:22,860
...that you can behave as you please.
723
00:44:23,060 --> 00:44:24,180
I repeat -
724
00:44:24,380 --> 00:44:29,580
...what do you propose
we ought to do with "trumpet"?
725
00:44:29,780 --> 00:44:32,980
Talbot, another hundred lines.
726
00:44:33,180 --> 00:44:34,980
Higher, I said higher!
727
00:44:38,660 --> 00:44:40,100
Oh! You wait here.
728
00:44:40,300 --> 00:44:44,140
Now, report to Miss Armstrong
at once.
729
00:44:47,900 --> 00:44:51,700
All right, let us leave "trumpet"
and think of "blast".
730
00:44:51,900 --> 00:44:54,460
Blast, somebody!
731
00:44:54,660 --> 00:44:57,220
BLAST, ANYBODY!
732
00:45:32,180 --> 00:45:33,900
As a young man,
733
00:45:34,100 --> 00:45:36,060
I studied yogi for a brief period.
734
00:45:36,260 --> 00:45:39,580
It has enabled me to bear
with fortitude this situation...
735
00:45:39,780 --> 00:45:43,100
...which otherwise I could never
have endured. Poppycock!
736
00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:45,380
Please let me finish.
737
00:45:45,580 --> 00:45:47,460
But yogi or no yogi,
738
00:45:47,660 --> 00:45:51,580
...I am determined not to allow
the situation to deteriorate further,
739
00:45:51,780 --> 00:45:54,940
...if that were possible.
Good afternoon, Mr Tripp.
740
00:45:56,220 --> 00:45:59,074
Mr Tripp, since you have
apparently done nothing...
741
00:45:59,075 --> 00:46:01,100
...to rectify this state of affairs here,
742
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:04,980
...I intend to visit the Ministry
this afternoon to see Mr Forrester.
743
00:46:06,220 --> 00:46:09,152
I'm not in the least concerned
about an appointment.
744
00:46:09,153 --> 00:46:12,140
If Mr Forrester will not see me,
I'll speak to my MP.
745
00:46:13,140 --> 00:46:14,900
He's probably playing golf.
746
00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:18,660
Matthews, will you ask Rainbow
to get me a taxi, please?
747
00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:21,080
Can I have a word, Miss Whitchurch?
748
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,500
What is it, Miss Jezzard?
This porter.
749
00:46:23,700 --> 00:46:25,580
He refuses to take orders from me.
750
00:46:25,780 --> 00:46:27,380
I just want to know where I stand.
751
00:46:27,580 --> 00:46:30,560
Every time I ask him to do anything,
he says he's too busy.
752
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:34,237
She says I'm to take the brake to the
station, and Mr Hyde-Brown says...
753
00:46:34,238 --> 00:46:37,280
...I'm to mark out the 2nd XV pitch.
Now which is it to be?
754
00:46:38,980 --> 00:46:40,840
Will you tell him or shall I?
755
00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:44,300
Very well, sir,
it's all I want to know.
756
00:46:44,700 --> 00:46:46,820
Just a moment, Rainbow.
757
00:46:47,020 --> 00:46:50,540
I shall consider these requests
entirely on their merits.
758
00:46:50,740 --> 00:46:52,500
That's right, haver about.
759
00:46:52,700 --> 00:46:54,660
Why has the brake
to go to the station?
760
00:46:54,860 --> 00:46:58,860
To meet parents off the 3
o'clock train. Whose parents?
761
00:46:59,060 --> 00:47:00,340
Ours. Ours?
762
00:47:00,540 --> 00:47:03,740
Ridiculous.
You invited them yourself.
763
00:47:03,940 --> 00:47:07,220
Mr and Mrs Parry, Mrs Jones,
and Mr and Mrs Ibbertson.
764
00:47:07,420 --> 00:47:10,620
They were nervous about
what sort of school this was,
765
00:47:10,820 --> 00:47:14,020
so you said they could come down
and see for themselves.
766
00:47:14,220 --> 00:47:17,080
Why didn't you remind me?
We must stop it at once.
767
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,140
Stopping the 3 o'clock
will be too much even for you.
768
00:47:20,340 --> 00:47:23,519
It's out of the question
having the parents here
769
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,020
with this man and his rabble around.
770
00:47:26,220 --> 00:47:27,470
It had occurred to me...
771
00:47:27,471 --> 00:47:30,460
Nothing ever occurs to you
or they wouldn't be coming.
772
00:47:30,660 --> 00:47:35,220
When they see we're sharing a boys'
school, they'll withdraw their children.
773
00:47:35,420 --> 00:47:38,860
Before we know where we are,
we shall have no school left.
774
00:47:39,060 --> 00:47:43,820
That will solve the problem. This
is no time for prep school repartee.
775
00:47:44,020 --> 00:47:46,180
Thinking caps. Thinking caps.
776
00:47:47,780 --> 00:47:51,180
I have it! You must remove
your boys for the afternoon.
777
00:47:51,380 --> 00:47:53,020
Remove my boys?
778
00:47:53,220 --> 00:47:55,220
From my own school?!
779
00:47:55,420 --> 00:47:58,140
Mr Pond, for the past six days,
780
00:47:58,340 --> 00:48:02,300
we have been living together with a
fair measure of harmony... Harmony?!
781
00:48:02,500 --> 00:48:04,860
With your shrieking progeny
everywhere!
782
00:48:05,060 --> 00:48:08,900
I'm completely unmoved by your
plight, madam. I don't give a fig.
783
00:48:09,100 --> 00:48:12,940
Mr Matthews, Miss Jezzard, would you
be good enough to wait outside?
784
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:14,820
And take the porter with you.
785
00:48:17,660 --> 00:48:19,500
There is talk in the common room...
786
00:48:19,700 --> 00:48:24,180
...that you are seeking an appointment
as headmaster of Harlingham.
787
00:48:24,380 --> 00:48:27,380
What has that got to do
with removing my boys?
788
00:48:27,580 --> 00:48:29,123
I thought you might like to know...
789
00:48:29,124 --> 00:48:32,100
...that I'm acquainted with one
of the governors of that school.
790
00:48:32,300 --> 00:48:36,660
Oh, madam, I should not consider a
recommendation from you an advantage.
791
00:48:36,860 --> 00:48:39,020
I wasn't thinking
of a recommendation.
792
00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:43,580
You were trying to coerce me
with threats, madam?
793
00:48:43,780 --> 00:48:45,620
The law takes a serious view of that.
794
00:48:45,820 --> 00:48:49,540
Have you the temerity to suggest
that I'm trying to blackmail you?!
795
00:48:49,740 --> 00:48:52,140
I shall merely make
a factual report.
796
00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:55,580
I see.
797
00:48:55,780 --> 00:48:59,900
There appear to be no depths to
which you are not prepared to sink.
798
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:04,700
If you have nothing to add
but idle abuse,
799
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:09,420
shall we recall Miss Jezzard
and Mr Matthews and lay our plans?
800
00:49:12,860 --> 00:49:14,940
Run! Run!
801
00:49:34,100 --> 00:49:36,940
What on earth's going on
with the goalposts?
802
00:49:37,140 --> 00:49:40,200
The school's got to beat it
to the swimming baths.
803
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,260
What? Some of the girls' parents
are visiting.
804
00:49:43,460 --> 00:49:46,700
There's to be no sign that the
shadow of man has crossed here.
805
00:49:46,900 --> 00:49:49,820
How long's this to last?
Matinee performance only.
806
00:50:14,780 --> 00:50:16,900
Oh, look, there they are.
807
00:50:19,820 --> 00:50:21,420
Group dancing.
808
00:50:21,620 --> 00:50:24,820
Yeah. Two guineas extra. We know.
809
00:50:27,220 --> 00:50:30,780
Mrs Ibbertson is wearing that white
hat she wore in the summer.
810
00:50:30,980 --> 00:50:32,700
This is no time for tittle-tattle.
811
00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:36,980
How do you do, Mrs Ibbertson?
So nice to see you. Miss Jezzard.
812
00:50:37,180 --> 00:50:41,300
...How do you do, Mrs Jones?
A delightful spot. Yes.
813
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:43,900
...How do you do, Mr Parry?
How do you do?
814
00:50:44,100 --> 00:50:48,420
Tea will be laid in the study.
A gracious old hall, don't you think?
815
00:50:48,620 --> 00:50:51,540
Yes. Still it must be trying
to share a school.
816
00:50:51,740 --> 00:50:53,730
We are getting on nicely considering.
817
00:50:53,731 --> 00:50:56,180
A certain amount of
hugger-mugger, of course.
818
00:50:56,380 --> 00:50:59,472
Is there any difference in
class with the other school?
819
00:50:59,473 --> 00:51:01,460
Not so much of class as of outlook.
820
00:51:03,020 --> 00:51:05,980
I think I'll show you
the dining hall first.
821
00:51:06,180 --> 00:51:10,420
I hope you don't let the girls
mix too much. Not if I can help it.
822
00:51:10,620 --> 00:51:12,940
This dining hall is a gem in its way.
823
00:51:13,140 --> 00:51:16,620
Of course, it's rather a squeeze
when they're all here.
824
00:51:16,820 --> 00:51:18,820
But we stagger most of the meals.
825
00:51:21,500 --> 00:51:24,580
"Guard thine honour"?
The Nutbourne school motto.
826
00:51:24,780 --> 00:51:27,860
In my young day, such things
were taken for granted.
827
00:51:28,060 --> 00:51:30,500
Well, the place goes back
to Henry VIII.
828
00:51:32,780 --> 00:51:36,540
They tell me this part of
the building used to be a barn...
829
00:51:36,740 --> 00:51:38,620
...before they rebuilt it. Well...
830
00:51:38,820 --> 00:51:43,040
what about pottering upstairs? I'm
sure a cup of tea would be welcome.
831
00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:47,460
It would indeed. And then to the fray
like giants refreshed. Off we go.
832
00:51:48,860 --> 00:51:51,020
I understand Henry built it
for Anne Boleyn,
833
00:51:51,220 --> 00:51:54,020
...but she was beheaded
before she could move in.
834
00:51:54,220 --> 00:51:57,220
Such an unlucky woman,
don't you think?
835
00:51:58,380 --> 00:52:03,060
Shall we see the other school?
They've gone on an all-day ramble.
836
00:52:03,260 --> 00:52:05,880
I wish you could have seen
us working in tandem.
837
00:52:05,881 --> 00:52:08,700
No, that's the common room.
What a snug retreat!
838
00:52:08,900 --> 00:52:10,215
Yes, it is rather nice.
839
00:52:10,216 --> 00:52:13,940
A bit on the small side for
our two staffs, but it serves.
840
00:52:14,140 --> 00:52:16,780
Looks out onto the grounds.
May I? Of course.
841
00:52:18,140 --> 00:52:23,820
Oh! There's nothing much to see,
I'm afraid. Quite an attractive view.
842
00:52:24,020 --> 00:52:27,900
Yes, isn't it? They tell me you
can see the sea on a clear day.
843
00:52:32,140 --> 00:52:35,140
Nutbourne must be a
rather unusual school.
844
00:52:35,340 --> 00:52:38,140
Surely they're not in favour
of blood sports?
845
00:52:38,340 --> 00:52:41,980
Oh, I gather that was a present
from somebody's aunt.
846
00:52:44,020 --> 00:52:48,060
Just a minute....Excuse me.
It's that stupid village newsagent.
847
00:52:48,260 --> 00:52:50,980
I ordered The Lady,
and he sent Men Only.
848
00:52:51,940 --> 00:52:56,380
Shall we be getting along
to my study now?
849
00:53:02,260 --> 00:53:04,980
What on earth are these doing here?!
850
00:53:05,180 --> 00:53:12,140
Well, this is Janet Hackett, who won
the 220 yards breaststroke in 1946.
851
00:53:12,340 --> 00:53:17,420
And this is Evelyn Forbes, who won
the 100 yards freestyle in 1947.
852
00:53:17,620 --> 00:53:18,900
And...
853
00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:22,566
this is Frieda Harris, our
champion Morris dancer
854
00:53:22,567 --> 00:53:25,420
caught in mid-action.
I think that's all.
855
00:53:33,980 --> 00:53:37,820
Telegram for Mr Pond.
I thought it might be important.
856
00:53:38,020 --> 00:53:39,675
Better open it.
I'm second master.
857
00:53:39,676 --> 00:53:42,088
If anyone's going to open it...
Oh, shut up.
858
00:53:42,288 --> 00:53:44,500
I say, this is
the absolute penultimate.
859
00:53:44,700 --> 00:53:48,740
The governors of Harlingham
are coming here today. But... Here.
860
00:53:48,940 --> 00:53:52,980
He did say they were coming.
But he couldn't have known when.
861
00:53:53,180 --> 00:53:55,394
He'll never be headmaster
of Harlingham now.
862
00:53:55,395 --> 00:53:57,500
You don't need a crystal
to tell you that.
863
00:53:57,700 --> 00:54:01,240
He will remain here then. For life.
You realise what that means?
864
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,980
What are we to do? We must put
the school back and get Pond back.
865
00:54:05,180 --> 00:54:07,061
What time is his train?
3.15. 10 minutes.
866
00:54:07,062 --> 00:54:09,340
Get rid of the girls,
I'll go to the station.
867
00:54:21,660 --> 00:54:24,620
There's Pond.
Good afternoon, Mr Pond.
868
00:54:24,820 --> 00:54:27,660
I thought you might not
have received our telegram.
869
00:54:27,860 --> 00:54:29,953
Dr Collet wanted it to
be a surprise visit,
870
00:54:29,954 --> 00:54:31,740
but I told him that would not be fair.
871
00:54:31,940 --> 00:54:34,257
Just didn't want anything
specially laid on.
872
00:54:34,258 --> 00:54:36,780
I wanted to see the school
in normal conditions.
873
00:54:36,980 --> 00:54:38,860
So would I.
874
00:54:39,060 --> 00:54:40,860
Yes, so would I.
875
00:54:41,060 --> 00:54:42,660
So you shall.
876
00:54:42,860 --> 00:54:48,340
Well, well, well, how do you do,
gentlemen? Welcome to Nutbourne.
877
00:54:48,540 --> 00:54:52,100
Just that your telegram
scarcely left me enough time
878
00:54:52,300 --> 00:54:55,660
to make the necessary arrangements
for your...reception.
879
00:54:55,860 --> 00:54:59,540
Will you excuse me one moment while
I see what's happened to the taxi?
880
00:55:02,980 --> 00:55:04,620
Thank heavens you're still here.
881
00:55:04,820 --> 00:55:08,940
Gentlemen.
882
00:55:09,140 --> 00:55:12,460
Gentlemen, this is Mr Billings,
my maths master.
883
00:55:12,660 --> 00:55:15,980
He very thoughtfully brought
the school brake along.
884
00:55:16,180 --> 00:55:17,900
...Thank you. That's all right, sir.
885
00:55:18,100 --> 00:55:21,880
It was not our intention to disrupt
the school work. On the contrary.
886
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:25,660
I can't imagine Mr Billings has left
the boys without problems to solve.
887
00:55:25,860 --> 00:55:30,300
That so, Billings? Yes, sir. I imagine
they'll take a while to clear them up.
888
00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:31,380
Yes.
889
00:55:31,580 --> 00:55:32,820
No doubt.
890
00:55:33,020 --> 00:55:37,300
Well, there's no hurry. We want to
catch the last train back, Mr Pond.
891
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:40,260
Beautiful country round here,
isn't it?
892
00:55:40,460 --> 00:55:43,300
Yes, but as I said, we want
to catch the last train back.
893
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:46,820
You can do that
but there's plenty of time to spare.
894
00:55:47,020 --> 00:55:49,460
I do love this part of the country.
Delightful.
895
00:55:53,180 --> 00:55:55,460
Which...way are you going, Billings?
896
00:55:55,660 --> 00:55:59,620
Through Fairhurst and Upper Dudley
and Lower Dudley and Braxton.
897
00:55:59,820 --> 00:56:03,580
The short way. That's right,
Billings, the short way.
898
00:56:03,780 --> 00:56:07,900
I ask no more for youth than space
and air and freedom from distraction.
899
00:56:08,100 --> 00:56:10,140
I'm glad to hear that,
Miss Whitchurch.
900
00:56:10,340 --> 00:56:14,124
Cynthia has reached the difficult
age. Angela's just the same.
901
00:56:14,324 --> 00:56:18,108
I'm sure Miss Whitchurch grasps
the dangers of adolescence.
902
00:56:18,109 --> 00:56:20,340
Firmly, in both hands, if I may say so.
903
00:56:20,540 --> 00:56:23,580
Shall I answer it? Please do.
904
00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:27,780
With all the discoveries
of modern science these days,
905
00:56:27,980 --> 00:56:32,940
it is possible to...to...climb
to its topmost branches... What?
906
00:56:33,140 --> 00:56:37,780
A Mr Hartley of the Ministry. Tell
him we'll ring him back in an hour.
907
00:56:37,980 --> 00:56:42,620
I wonder if you'd mind if we rang
back. You see... I beg your pardon?
908
00:56:42,820 --> 00:56:46,100
Just wondering how
we're settling down, I expect.
909
00:56:46,300 --> 00:56:48,900
Now, let me see...where were we?
910
00:56:49,100 --> 00:56:53,220
Uh... Oh, yes! It is possible
to climb to its topmost branches
911
00:56:53,420 --> 00:56:57,540
and select the fruit where we will.
Are you sure you can't?
912
00:56:57,740 --> 00:57:00,020
Oh, dear. I said we'd ring him back.
913
00:57:00,220 --> 00:57:04,420
He's going out. He wants to know
if we're still in trouble.
914
00:57:04,620 --> 00:57:09,500
I haven't the remotest idea what he's
talking about. We're perfectly happy.
915
00:57:09,700 --> 00:57:12,620
No, we're all right,
thank you very much.
916
00:57:12,820 --> 00:57:14,380
Good afternoon.
917
00:57:14,580 --> 00:57:15,940
Where was I?
918
00:57:16,140 --> 00:57:18,260
Up the tree. Oh, yes!
919
00:57:18,460 --> 00:57:23,580
Well, I do think it's a jolly rotten
show. Not a word of explanation...
920
00:57:23,780 --> 00:57:26,580
We'll explain later.
Well, it's not fair.
921
00:57:26,780 --> 00:57:30,500
Now look...! Where are you going
with our goalposts?
922
00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:32,140
Honestly!
923
00:57:32,340 --> 00:57:36,260
I thought you said the school was
a mere five minutes from the station.
924
00:57:36,460 --> 00:57:40,380
In terms of jet propulsion
It said Nutbourne down there.
925
00:57:47,540 --> 00:57:51,780
We've a first-class rugger team at
Harlingham. What shape's yours in?
926
00:57:51,980 --> 00:57:53,060
It varies.
927
00:57:53,260 --> 00:57:55,700
Very pleasant outlook here.
928
00:57:55,900 --> 00:57:58,780
Uninterrupted too,
the estate agents say.
929
00:57:58,980 --> 00:58:02,700
Mr Tassell, I'm all for team spirit
and I don't want to rock the boat,
930
00:58:02,900 --> 00:58:05,860
but I can't keep my girls
cooped up here all afternoon.
931
00:58:06,060 --> 00:58:08,340
Well, just hold on a minute.
932
00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:13,060
Ah, Matthews.
933
00:58:13,260 --> 00:58:16,180
This is Mr Matthews,
my most able second-in-command.
934
00:58:16,380 --> 00:58:19,100
Mr Angus McNally, Dr Collet...
How do you do, sir?
935
00:58:19,300 --> 00:58:24,220
...and Reverend James Rich. Well,
gentlemen, shall we go inside?
936
00:58:30,940 --> 00:58:35,220
Here we are. This is the oldest part of
the school. It goes back to Henry VIII.
937
00:58:35,420 --> 00:58:37,220
Anyone in the dining hall? No, sir.
938
00:58:37,420 --> 00:58:40,780
Well, Billings, perhaps you'll show
it to these gentlemen.
939
00:58:40,980 --> 00:58:44,920
Matthews and I will see about
refreshment. After you, gentlemen.
940
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:49,060
What happened? I'm sorry, sir.
We did what we could in the time.
941
00:58:49,260 --> 00:58:51,060
We got the girls out
the playing field.
942
00:58:51,061 --> 00:58:53,460
Where are the rest of them?
Still here, I'm afraid.
943
00:58:53,660 --> 00:58:57,500
Miss Whitchurch is having tea with
the parents in her study. HER study?
944
00:58:57,700 --> 00:58:59,980
YOUR study, sir.
She won't be for long.
945
00:59:00,180 --> 00:59:03,620
There's simply no holding Byron
at lacrosse this term,
946
00:59:03,820 --> 00:59:07,060
so Tennyson and Shelley
are going to stop the rot.
947
00:59:07,260 --> 00:59:11,700
When you've finished your tea,
we'll see how the battle is faring.
948
00:59:20,500 --> 00:59:22,800
The sun's very gay this afternoon.
949
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,300
Another cup of tea, Mr Ibbertson?
950
00:59:26,500 --> 00:59:28,660
Miss Whitchurch,
I must speak to you at once.
951
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:31,940
Oh, Doctor, if it's about
that little protuberance
952
00:59:32,140 --> 00:59:35,660
on Cecilia Watson's neck,
I'll see you in the common room.
953
00:59:35,860 --> 00:59:38,820
If you don't mind, Doctor.
Excuse me, won't you?
954
00:59:39,020 --> 00:59:42,140
I hardly think buns
and protuberances mix.
955
00:59:42,340 --> 00:59:44,407
How dare you burst in there,
956
00:59:44,408 --> 00:59:48,260
jeopardising my position
in that reckless fashion?
957
00:59:48,460 --> 00:59:50,117
I don't care what you have to say.
958
00:59:50,118 --> 00:59:53,460
Do I have to remind you about
the governors of Harlingham? No.
959
00:59:53,660 --> 00:59:56,360
They are in the dining hall,
here to see the school.
960
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:59,260
They've shut Shelley, Tennyson
and Byron in the pav.
961
00:59:59,460 --> 01:00:00,977
Shut your other brats with them,
962
01:00:00,978 --> 01:00:04,639
I'm bringing my boys back from the
swimming pool at once. Quiet.
963
01:00:04,839 --> 01:00:08,286
My parents will hear you. Your
parents can go and... Mr Pond!
964
01:00:08,486 --> 01:00:11,934
I don't want the whole building
involved in the brouhaha.
965
01:00:11,935 --> 01:00:14,420
We'll thrash this out
in the common room.
966
01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:21,420
1931 was a vintage year, as you see.
967
01:00:21,620 --> 01:00:25,740
Three scholarships to Oxford, two
to Cambridge. Before Pond, I imagine.
968
01:00:25,940 --> 01:00:27,447
It's no use brandishing governors.
969
01:00:27,448 --> 01:00:30,860
One look at what's going on, and my
chances of Harlingham are ruined.
970
01:00:31,060 --> 01:00:33,900
I'll have to establish myself
as a victim of circumstances.
971
01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:37,262
Ramsden, tell Mr Matthews
to have the boys
972
01:00:37,263 --> 01:00:40,700
brought back from the
swimming pool at once.
973
01:00:40,900 --> 01:00:42,180
So that's where they are.
974
01:00:42,380 --> 01:00:45,420
My mind is made up on one thing,
Miss Whitchurch.
975
01:00:45,620 --> 01:00:46,900
If I sink, you sink with me.
976
01:00:47,100 --> 01:00:50,620
Don't act as if next week will do,
man!
977
01:00:50,820 --> 01:00:51,780
Wait!
978
01:00:51,980 --> 01:00:54,340
Why should we sink, Mr Pond?
979
01:00:54,540 --> 01:00:59,300
If we keep our wits, we can still
come through with flying colours.
980
01:00:59,500 --> 01:01:01,780
Let us examine this problem calmly.
981
01:01:01,980 --> 01:01:05,260
Miss Whitchurch, the governors
are in the dining hall.
982
01:01:05,460 --> 01:01:07,070
And my parents are in the study.
983
01:01:07,071 --> 01:01:10,580
Both parties wish to tour the school.
Very well, so they shall.
984
01:01:10,780 --> 01:01:12,740
But never the twain shall meet.
985
01:01:12,940 --> 01:01:17,220
What will happen when the governors
meet a swarm on girls? They mustn't.
986
01:01:17,420 --> 01:01:20,620
The governors must only see boys,
the parents girls.
987
01:01:20,820 --> 01:01:23,140
We'll have two conducted tours...
988
01:01:23,340 --> 01:01:27,300
...going clockwise or anticlockwise,
as the case may be.
989
01:01:27,500 --> 01:01:29,300
It's no use being lily-livered.
990
01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:32,459
If one party leaves five
minutes after the other,
991
01:01:32,460 --> 01:01:34,780
...we'll have time
to interchange classes.
992
01:01:34,980 --> 01:01:37,640
It'll have to be a miracle of timing.
993
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:40,300
If both parties follow
the same course.
994
01:01:40,500 --> 01:01:43,460
If you want my opinion,
the whole thing's imposs.
995
01:01:43,660 --> 01:01:46,660
We don't want your opinion.
Thank you, Miss Gossage.
996
01:01:46,860 --> 01:01:49,660
Every single boy and girl
would have to co-operate. Yes.
997
01:01:49,860 --> 01:01:53,524
That would mean Doris, Cynthia
and Pamela deceiving their parents.
998
01:01:53,525 --> 01:01:55,020
A half holiday will cure that.
999
01:01:55,220 --> 01:01:57,940
Where's your child psychology?
That's not the school spirit.
1000
01:01:58,140 --> 01:01:59,940
Don't talk to mr. Pond
like that, Gossage.
1001
01:02:00,441 --> 01:02:01,840
Thank you, miss Whitchurch.
1002
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:03,582
Kindly leave these
arrangements to us.
1003
01:02:03,583 --> 01:02:05,400
What exactly do you
envisage, miss Whitchurch?
1004
01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:08,007
Well, if I take my parents
to see the school museum,
1005
01:02:08,008 --> 01:02:10,780
...while you bring your governors
to tea in the study,
1006
01:02:10,980 --> 01:02:13,340
...that will give us time
to set the stage. Yes.
1007
01:02:13,540 --> 01:02:17,900
Now, let us swiftly plot the
itinerary. Please, allow me.
1008
01:02:18,100 --> 01:02:19,260
Thank you, Mr Pond.
1009
01:02:19,460 --> 01:02:22,220
Now, this must be
very exactly timed.
1010
01:02:22,420 --> 01:02:25,380
Shall we first synchronise
our watches? Excellent.
1011
01:02:25,580 --> 01:02:30,060
I'm not a complaining man, Maude,
but take these rugby posts.
1012
01:02:30,260 --> 01:02:33,260
It's an annual job
that I don't look forward to,
1013
01:02:33,460 --> 01:02:38,100
...but today we've had 'em up,
taken 'em down and had 'em up again!
1014
01:02:38,300 --> 01:02:40,205
Now you've to take them down again.
1015
01:02:40,206 --> 01:02:42,673
Tea for four in the study,
Mrs Hampstead.
1016
01:02:42,873 --> 01:02:45,140
I think everyone's gone
absolutely batty.
1017
01:02:45,340 --> 01:02:49,240
The governors of Harlingham
have arrived. What? But...
1018
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:53,430
Don't argue, get the boys
back to school. BLOWS WHISTLE
1019
01:02:53,630 --> 01:02:57,620
We'll just have a quick cup,
then start on our travels.
1020
01:03:05,100 --> 01:03:07,500
Priscilla Johnson was
romping in a haystack...
1021
01:03:07,501 --> 01:03:09,540
...when that Bastard
Purple alighted on her.
1022
01:03:09,740 --> 01:03:11,580
She had him in the killing bottle
in a flash.
1023
01:03:11,780 --> 01:03:15,140
Here they come, girls.
Onto the field again. Buck up!
1024
01:03:15,340 --> 01:03:17,500
Hurrah!
1025
01:03:25,180 --> 01:03:28,560
Well, I think that exhausts
the butterflies.
1026
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:31,650
Shall we start out tour
of the classrooms?
1027
01:03:31,850 --> 01:03:34,575
It's always been my view
that too much...
1028
01:03:34,775 --> 01:03:37,300
Is that a rugby game? No.
1029
01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:42,980
Short blast. Too much concentration
on examinations makes boys sluggish.
1030
01:03:43,180 --> 01:03:45,980
Good afternoon, girls.
You may sit down.
1031
01:03:46,180 --> 01:03:50,100
Good afternoon, Miss Harper.
Good afternoon, Miss Whitchurch.
1032
01:03:50,300 --> 01:03:53,687
This is the sixth form.
They're taking French history.
1033
01:03:53,688 --> 01:03:55,834
It'll be Louis XIII.
There's Angela.
1034
01:03:56,034 --> 01:03:57,980
Could we have a word with Angela?
1035
01:03:58,180 --> 01:04:01,180
If you wish.
Angela Parry, you may fall out.
1036
01:04:03,300 --> 01:04:04,660
Hello, Mumsy.
1037
01:04:04,860 --> 01:04:08,020
Hello, Pop. Hello, Angela.
It's good to see you.
1038
01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:11,180
Your parents want to know
how you like the school,
1039
01:04:11,380 --> 01:04:15,040
...but don't commit yourself
unless you've made up your mind.
1040
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:18,900
Oh, I have. I think it's an absolute
scorcher! I never dreamt...
1041
01:04:19,100 --> 01:04:21,140
How's your history progressing,
Angela?
1042
01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:22,940
She's always been weak on dates.
1043
01:04:23,140 --> 01:04:26,740
Not this term, Pop. What are you
up to at the moment, Angela?
1044
01:04:26,940 --> 01:04:28,180
Oh, nothing, Mumsy.
1045
01:04:28,380 --> 01:04:32,860
If they've been telling you
about Archie Brown... Archie...
1046
01:04:33,060 --> 01:04:35,727
Archibald Brown, in
case you didn't know,
1047
01:04:35,728 --> 01:04:38,660
...was the man who held
the torch for Guy Fawkes.
1048
01:04:38,860 --> 01:04:43,020
I've been running them over
the "backroom boys" of history.
1049
01:04:43,220 --> 01:04:46,640
Get back to your class now, Angela.
Say goodbye to your parents.
1050
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:50,260
Bye, Mumsy. Bye, Pop. Goodbye, dear.
Goodbye, Angela. That's right.
1051
01:04:50,460 --> 01:04:53,060
Come along, everybody.
Such a charming child.
1052
01:04:53,260 --> 01:04:57,940
A great favourite with the other girls.
A pity she's leaving this term.
1053
01:04:58,140 --> 01:05:00,540
Oh, to the right now, Mrs Ibbertson.
1054
01:05:08,140 --> 01:05:09,540
OK.
1055
01:05:11,660 --> 01:05:14,280
All clear. Away with the first party.
1056
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,100
Right, move one pace forward. March.
1057
01:05:17,300 --> 01:05:19,140
Now, at the double.
1058
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:27,565
Surely they'll find out about this.
- Ours is not to reason why.
1059
01:05:27,766 --> 01:05:30,020
If they do, we'll have to find
fresh posts tomorrow.
1060
01:05:30,220 --> 01:05:32,231
We'll have to apply for a job
at a progressive school...
1061
01:05:32,232 --> 01:05:34,340
...where the kids throw inkpots!
It'll be a rest after this.
1062
01:05:36,940 --> 01:05:38,727
That must be the start of the game.
1063
01:05:38,728 --> 01:05:40,920
No, no, no, no, three,
three short blasts for that.
1064
01:05:41,420 --> 01:05:43,429
Well now, gentlemen,
if you're finished with your tea,
1065
01:05:43,430 --> 01:05:45,920
...perhaps we can start on our
little circumambulation.
1066
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:48,583
Now we're going to see
the miming class.
1067
01:05:48,584 --> 01:05:50,680
They're doing the
death of Charles I.
1068
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:54,560
The one with the crown is the king.
Couldn't we go in and watch?
1069
01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:58,500
Well, perhaps for a few minutes.
1070
01:05:58,700 --> 01:06:02,580
But no talking. It's an iron rule
with the miming class.
1071
01:06:12,740 --> 01:06:14,140
Good afternoon, boys.
1072
01:06:14,141 --> 01:06:16,940
Good afternoon, Mr Tassell.
Sit down, boys.
1073
01:06:17,140 --> 01:06:19,220
Gentlemen, they're taking English.
1074
01:06:19,420 --> 01:06:20,980
Carry on, Mr Tassell.
1075
01:06:21,180 --> 01:06:24,130
As I was saying, a mixed
metaphor is an expression
1076
01:06:24,131 --> 01:06:26,740
in which two or three
metaphors are confused.
1077
01:06:26,940 --> 01:06:28,721
Could the boys give an example?
1078
01:06:28,722 --> 01:06:31,811
I'd like to see what they know.
Certainly. Metcalf,
1079
01:06:32,011 --> 01:06:35,100
would you give us an example
of a mixed metaphor?
1080
01:06:35,300 --> 01:06:37,518
Playing with fire.
Skating on thin ice.
1081
01:06:37,519 --> 01:06:40,429
And if anything happens
to upset the applecart,
1082
01:06:40,629 --> 01:06:43,540
...someone is going to lose
his bread and butter.
1083
01:06:43,740 --> 01:06:45,740
Very good, Metcalf. Sit down.
1084
01:06:45,940 --> 01:06:47,740
They seem quite bright. Yes.
1085
01:06:47,940 --> 01:06:49,878
That satisfies me.
Shall we move on?
1086
01:06:49,879 --> 01:06:53,020
Gentlemen, wouldn't you like
to hear a little onomatopoeia?
1087
01:06:53,220 --> 01:06:55,420
They're good at onomatopoeia.
1088
01:06:55,620 --> 01:06:59,180
What did you say your name was?
Metcalf, sir. Metcalf.
1089
01:06:59,380 --> 01:07:02,620
To your right, gentlemen,
to your right.
1090
01:07:34,020 --> 01:07:36,020
Down, girls, away you go.
1091
01:07:37,780 --> 01:07:40,140
Come along, Jennifer, no loitering.
1092
01:07:40,340 --> 01:07:44,020
The school curriculum,
I'll explain it quite briefly.
1093
01:07:44,220 --> 01:07:46,513
We don't want to know
about the curriculum.
1094
01:07:46,514 --> 01:07:49,460
We want a picture of the
way the school is running.
1095
01:07:59,740 --> 01:08:03,500
Who on earth was that? Little Lucy,
the housekeeper's daughter.
1096
01:08:03,700 --> 01:08:07,540
The rascal's not allowed upstairs.
I'll have to speak to Mrs Hampstead.
1097
01:08:07,740 --> 01:08:10,380
Gentlemen, shall we make history?
1098
01:08:13,060 --> 01:08:14,980
It's a maze of corridors
around here.
1099
01:08:15,180 --> 01:08:17,980
This way, if you please.
Round the corner.
1100
01:08:18,180 --> 01:08:22,140
We'll have to hurry to see the
dressmaking class before break.
1101
01:08:22,340 --> 01:08:27,260
The middle third are leading the school
with their underwear this term.
1102
01:08:27,460 --> 01:08:30,129
The upper fifth are taking
William of Orange.
1103
01:08:30,130 --> 01:08:32,860
We needn't bother with that.
I don't think so.
1104
01:08:33,060 --> 01:08:36,980
Not William of Orange? I'd rather
see the rugger. So you shall.
1105
01:08:37,180 --> 01:08:39,260
We've got to see other things first.
1106
01:08:44,380 --> 01:08:47,180
They skipped the upper fifth.
They're catching up. Run!
1107
01:08:47,380 --> 01:08:51,260
Quite an impressive collection
of nether garments, Miss Curtis.
1108
01:08:52,460 --> 01:08:54,340
I think we'd better pass on now.
1109
01:08:54,540 --> 01:08:57,534
I don't want you to miss
the choir's rendering...
1110
01:08:57,535 --> 01:08:59,580
...of Nymphs And Shepherds,
Come Away.
1111
01:08:59,780 --> 01:09:03,500
Thank you, Miss Curtis.
Come along, or we shall be too late.
1112
01:09:03,700 --> 01:09:08,260
Edward, please, you simply must
look at these etchings.
1113
01:09:08,460 --> 01:09:11,172
This particular one...
Very interesting, I'm sure,
1114
01:09:11,173 --> 01:09:14,580
...but hardly what we came to see.
Where do we go from here?
1115
01:09:14,780 --> 01:09:16,340
Oh, let me see.
1116
01:09:16,540 --> 01:09:20,780
Yes, I think we might risk
a little theoretical physics.
1117
01:09:26,980 --> 01:09:30,060
Quiet, boys, quiet.
Get that stuff out of sight.
1118
01:09:30,260 --> 01:09:33,500
We seem to be doing a lot
of padding round, don't we?
1119
01:09:33,700 --> 01:09:36,060
Oh, how stupid of me!
1120
01:09:36,260 --> 01:09:39,479
The physics class is first
right and first right again.
1121
01:09:39,480 --> 01:09:42,180
15 years here and I don't
know my own way yet!
1122
01:09:43,380 --> 01:09:47,260
They've gone down the wrong corridor.
Gosh, that's torn it!
1123
01:09:47,460 --> 01:09:49,637
Nymphs And Shepherds
should be accompanied...
1124
01:09:49,638 --> 01:09:51,420
...by a recorder and a harpsichord.
What is it, dear?
1125
01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:53,407
They've gone the wrong way.
1126
01:09:53,408 --> 01:09:56,640
Don't bother me now, Alice.
Unpick it and start again.
1127
01:09:57,540 --> 01:10:02,100
She's such a panicky child. She
never manages blackberry stitches.
1128
01:10:02,300 --> 01:10:04,460
Oh, we've plenty of
cupboard accommodation.
1129
01:10:04,660 --> 01:10:08,200
Oh, I should have known
they were there. I'm so sorry.
1130
01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:11,940
A mistake at the sports shop.
They sent the wrong sort.
1131
01:10:12,140 --> 01:10:14,100
This is indeed circumambulation.
1132
01:10:14,300 --> 01:10:16,500
Pack them all in, Helen.
1133
01:10:16,700 --> 01:10:18,740
Oh, we're almost there, gentlemen.
1134
01:10:18,940 --> 01:10:22,820
Good heavens! Who did that?
That reminds me. I'm afraid it would.
1135
01:10:23,020 --> 01:10:26,460
All in good time, Doctor.
I'll inquire into this later.
1136
01:10:26,660 --> 01:10:27,820
Now...
1137
01:10:30,060 --> 01:10:32,340
Good afternoon, boys. Sit down.
1138
01:10:32,540 --> 01:10:34,911
Mr Ramsden. This is the middle fifth.
1139
01:10:34,912 --> 01:10:38,780
They're fairly advanced with
their physics, I'm happy to say.
1140
01:10:38,980 --> 01:10:42,300
Electronics? Well...
What the devil's this?
1141
01:10:45,580 --> 01:10:48,580
Has the dressmaking class been here?
1142
01:10:48,780 --> 01:10:52,508
Many boys go into the navy.
We had a request from the Admiralty...
1143
01:10:52,509 --> 01:10:54,660
...that they should mend
their own clothes.
1144
01:10:54,860 --> 01:10:58,900
Yes, but this is crepe de Chine
underwear. Huh! Lucky to get it!
1145
01:10:59,100 --> 01:11:01,780
Very, very lucky indeed!
1146
01:11:01,980 --> 01:11:04,920
#...In these groves
Let's sport and play
1147
01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:08,060
# Let's sport and play
Let's sport and play
1148
01:11:08,260 --> 01:11:10,760
# For this is Flora's holiday
1149
01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:13,260
# This is Flora's holiday
1150
01:11:13,460 --> 01:11:16,940
# This is Flora's holiday... #
There's Angela again.
1151
01:11:17,140 --> 01:11:22,940
Fancy! There must have been a quick
changeover while we came upstairs.
1152
01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:31,540
I'm sorry we couldn't stay longer.
1153
01:11:33,500 --> 01:11:36,060
# Your flocks may now
Now, now, now
1154
01:11:36,260 --> 01:11:38,100
# Now, now, now
Now, now, now
1155
01:11:38,300 --> 01:11:40,060
# Securely rove... #
1156
01:11:40,260 --> 01:11:43,196
I love listening to boy
sopranos, don't you?
1157
01:11:43,197 --> 01:11:46,980
Sometimes it's impossible to
distinguish them from girls.
1158
01:11:48,300 --> 01:11:51,420
# Where have you been all the
day Billy boy, Billy boy?
1159
01:11:51,620 --> 01:11:54,540
# Where have you been all the day
My Billy boy...? #
1160
01:11:54,740 --> 01:11:59,940
I believe in contrast too. I'm for
developing musical appreciation.
1161
01:12:00,140 --> 01:12:03,940
We don't want to be bothered
by this, Dr Collins. What?
1162
01:12:04,140 --> 01:12:07,060
No, I suppose not.
I'd rather like to.
1163
01:12:07,260 --> 01:12:11,031
No, I thought not. I'd like you to
look into the sick room a moment.
1164
01:12:11,032 --> 01:12:12,580
I'm more interested in the fit.
1165
01:12:12,780 --> 01:12:15,340
What about the rugger?
Immediately afterwards.
1166
01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:20,460
To the right, then up the stairs.
1167
01:12:23,980 --> 01:12:26,604
We haven't had many
people in the sick room.
1168
01:12:26,605 --> 01:12:28,820
I think the air must agree with them.
1169
01:12:29,020 --> 01:12:31,217
It's nice to have the sick room
1170
01:12:31,218 --> 01:12:34,079
at the top of the house.
So much more air.
1171
01:12:34,279 --> 01:12:37,140
We mustn't stop long.
Good afternoon, dears.
1172
01:12:37,340 --> 01:12:38,940
Good afternoon, Miss Whitchurch.
1173
01:12:39,140 --> 01:12:41,562
I mustn't let you pick
up germs,
1174
01:12:41,563 --> 01:12:43,580
...or the doctor will be on my track.
Now the gymnasium.
1175
01:12:43,780 --> 01:12:46,180
To your right and downstairs.
1176
01:12:52,820 --> 01:12:57,180
I hate to be a nuisance, but I'm
most anxious to see the lacrosse.
1177
01:12:57,380 --> 01:12:59,500
Yes, Mrs Jones, we'll
see what we can do.
1178
01:12:59,501 --> 01:13:01,820
You'll be delighted
with the gym display.
1179
01:13:06,260 --> 01:13:07,980
Pleasant little gym, isn't it?
1180
01:13:10,700 --> 01:13:12,660
Why, there's Angela again.
1181
01:13:12,860 --> 01:13:15,674
Yes, the child's quite ubiquitous.
1182
01:13:15,874 --> 01:13:18,688
Miss Harper.
(It should be rugby now,
1183
01:13:18,689 --> 01:13:22,180
...but tell Miss Gossage to lay
on lacrosse in five minutes.)
1184
01:13:22,380 --> 01:13:24,020
Very good. Thank you.
1185
01:13:28,180 --> 01:13:32,900
Gossy, you're to get the girls back
on the field with lacrosse again.
1186
01:13:33,100 --> 01:13:37,340
But they've just started rugger
again. Miss Whitchurch's orders.
1187
01:13:37,540 --> 01:13:39,980
All right, girls, back on the field.
1188
01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:43,580
Here we are.
1189
01:13:43,780 --> 01:13:47,300
Nothing much wrong with
the patients, I'm glad to say.
1190
01:13:47,500 --> 01:13:48,340
Now for the gym.
1191
01:13:48,540 --> 01:13:51,339
Just time for a quick
look at the garden,
1192
01:13:51,340 --> 01:13:55,180
then to the lacrosse, eh, mrs. Jones?
Thank you. Left here.
1193
01:13:57,100 --> 01:13:59,100
Come on, girls, out!
1194
01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:08,780
Right, boys, on the mat, quickly!
1195
01:14:08,980 --> 01:14:09,860
Down.
1196
01:14:10,060 --> 01:14:11,820
Change round.
1197
01:14:12,020 --> 01:14:15,060
I've got a special display
laid on for you.
1198
01:14:15,260 --> 01:14:16,880
They're coming. Here...
1199
01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:18,500
This way, gentlemen,
1200
01:14:18,700 --> 01:14:20,780
...the boys are very keen.
1201
01:14:29,580 --> 01:14:32,300
Good, good. Very good, Tassell.
1202
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:37,740
Yes, there's nothing like plenty
of good, healthy exercise.
1203
01:14:37,940 --> 01:14:39,700
Don't you agree, Doctor?
1204
01:14:39,900 --> 01:14:41,360
Where's dr. Collet?
1205
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:42,820
Where's dr. Collet?!
1206
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:44,856
Good afternoon.
Could you tell me...
1207
01:14:44,857 --> 01:14:47,320
...where I can find Miss Whitchurch?
I've never heard of her.
1208
01:14:50,660 --> 01:14:52,820
Dr. Collet! Where's dr. Collet?
1209
01:14:54,220 --> 01:14:56,300
Dr. Collet!
1210
01:14:59,900 --> 01:15:01,180
Oh! Oh!
1211
01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:09,940
Mr Pond! We're waiting
for an explanation, Mr Pond.
1212
01:15:10,140 --> 01:15:14,020
Can't you see I'm thinking of one?
Never mind, I'll show you something.
1213
01:15:18,940 --> 01:15:22,420
Take a look at that.
1214
01:15:22,620 --> 01:15:24,460
What on earth?!
1215
01:15:36,620 --> 01:15:41,140
We won seven matches last term
and hope to do even better this term.
1216
01:15:43,100 --> 01:15:44,980
That's bad.
1217
01:15:48,900 --> 01:15:52,300
Come on, girls, tackle him low.
Get him down.
1218
01:15:52,500 --> 01:15:55,340
Stop it! Hold him, hold him!
1219
01:15:55,540 --> 01:15:58,380
Stop it, Gossage. Stop it.
1220
01:15:58,580 --> 01:16:00,300
That's ghastly.
1221
01:16:00,500 --> 01:16:01,820
Lacrosse.
1222
01:16:03,660 --> 01:16:05,860
La-double-cross.
1223
01:16:06,060 --> 01:16:08,580
It's unbelievable.
It's monstrous!
1224
01:16:08,780 --> 01:16:11,100
Excuse me, you're
Mr Pond, I believe.
1225
01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:13,890
My name is West,
regional officer of the Ministry.
1226
01:16:14,090 --> 01:16:16,680
I've been instructed to
deal with this matter.
1227
01:16:16,681 --> 01:16:19,700
Most unfortunate, but I think
I've found the solution.
1228
01:16:19,900 --> 01:16:22,940
You are a co-educational school,
I believe.
1229
01:16:23,140 --> 01:16:26,377
Well, I've arranged for
another co-education school
1230
01:16:26,378 --> 01:16:28,620
to replace St Swithin's
next Wednesday.
1231
01:16:28,820 --> 01:16:32,360
What, another school? It looks
as if they're ahead of schedule.
1232
01:16:50,660 --> 01:16:54,220
Have you the faintest idea
what's going on? No, dear.
1233
01:17:25,420 --> 01:17:29,000
I have a brother who grows
groundnuts in Tanganyika.
1234
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:31,220
He writes that there are
splendid opportunities...
1235
01:17:31,420 --> 01:17:33,060
...for education
among the natives.
1236
01:17:34,260 --> 01:17:36,740
Oh, madam, I'm amenable
to any suggestion.
106286
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