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1
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[Sighs] You let a wanted felon
waltz back into your life
2
00:00:04,873 --> 00:00:06,975
and steal your kids.
3
00:00:06,976 --> 00:00:08,844
How could you let him do that?
4
00:00:10,112 --> 00:00:11,145
I...
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,268
You are terrible parents.
6
00:00:14,165 --> 00:00:15,239
We've been told that a few times.
7
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,528
Children are your life's blood.
8
00:00:17,529 --> 00:00:18,918
They are so precious.
9
00:00:19,374 --> 00:00:21,313
I mean, I'm sure they were
when they were younger.
10
00:00:21,314 --> 00:00:23,510
Yeah, well, the daughter is
a bit on the spectrum.
11
00:00:23,511 --> 00:00:25,503
And their son, I don't know
how he functions in life.
12
00:00:25,504 --> 00:00:26,655
I mean, you should have seen him.
13
00:00:26,656 --> 00:00:28,361
He was getting this handy from...
14
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,595
- Whoa, whoa.
- What?
15
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,893
Hey. How do you know that?
16
00:00:31,894 --> 00:00:33,034
Were you spying on us?
17
00:00:33,035 --> 00:00:34,199
In our home?
18
00:00:36,009 --> 00:00:38,010
Don't doodle. Answer the question.
19
00:00:38,609 --> 00:00:41,047
Did you put a camera in our house?
20
00:00:45,351 --> 00:00:47,820
- Kids?
- What, are they sleeping?
21
00:00:47,821 --> 00:00:50,556
- It's 9:30. No.
- Hey, kids. Come on out here.
22
00:00:50,557 --> 00:00:52,792
We've got some stuff
to talk to you about.
23
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:55,580
Guys? Super D?
24
00:00:55,853 --> 00:00:56,600
Jared?
25
00:00:57,697 --> 00:00:59,530
We've got some news. It's not great.
26
00:01:00,526 --> 00:01:01,154
Hey.
27
00:01:04,604 --> 00:01:05,306
Kids?
28
00:01:12,149 --> 00:01:13,212
I can't find them.
29
00:01:13,213 --> 00:01:16,015
- Maybe they're down at Chase's?
- Probably. I'll go get them.
30
00:01:27,857 --> 00:01:29,107
[Sighs]
31
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[Siren wailing in distance]
32
00:01:35,401 --> 00:01:38,638
33
00:01:50,082 --> 00:01:51,143
What the hell?
34
00:02:12,405 --> 00:02:13,872
What the...
35
00:02:13,873 --> 00:02:15,909
Holy shit.
36
00:02:17,143 --> 00:02:19,679
What's in that?
37
00:02:28,755 --> 00:02:29,874
Oh, geez!
38
00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:32,952
39
00:02:58,518 --> 00:03:00,086
What the shit?
40
00:03:01,321 --> 00:03:03,855
Somewhere behind the skyline
41
00:03:03,856 --> 00:03:06,491
There is a place I'm thinkin'
42
00:03:06,492 --> 00:03:09,384
[Distorted music plays]
43
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Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
44
00:03:12,599 --> 00:03:14,734
- What are you do... What? What?
- [Mouthing]
45
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,036
Say words with your mouth. Use noise.
46
00:03:21,374 --> 00:03:22,311
Bags?
47
00:03:23,509 --> 00:03:24,589
Oh, bugs?
48
00:03:25,011 --> 00:03:27,145
That's what this... You don't do this!
49
00:03:27,146 --> 00:03:28,547
You call an exterminator.
50
00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:30,116
What is your problem?
51
00:03:32,085 --> 00:03:35,687
Nate, pour children
are not at the Lewises'.
52
00:03:35,688 --> 00:03:38,156
Go faster, go faster, go faster.
Come on.
53
00:03:38,157 --> 00:03:39,358
Why... I...
54
00:03:39,359 --> 00:03:41,059
Just show it to me.
55
00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:42,152
Hurry.
56
00:03:43,496 --> 00:03:44,730
People are liste...
People are listening?
57
00:03:44,731 --> 00:03:46,098
Yes, the walls are paper thin.
58
00:03:46,099 --> 00:03:47,599
We've established this.
What are you doing.
59
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,168
Baby, what are you doing?
Stop doing that.
60
00:03:50,169 --> 00:03:51,937
- Stop eating that.
- [Speaks indistinctly]
61
00:03:51,938 --> 00:03:53,739
- What? What?
- [Coughs]
62
00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:56,274
[Gasps] It's too thick.
63
00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:57,295
It's the evidence.
64
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,347
[Whispering] See the camera?
65
00:04:02,348 --> 00:04:03,849
Oh, shit. He was right.
66
00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:05,810
- Who was right?
- Oh, my dad.
67
00:04:05,842 --> 00:04:07,754
- I hate it when he's right.
- Who? What are you talking about?
68
00:04:07,757 --> 00:04:09,154
- My father.
- What about him?
69
00:04:09,155 --> 00:04:11,490
- The mail police!
- That makes less sense!
70
00:04:11,491 --> 00:04:12,958
- Help me with this.
- What?
71
00:04:12,959 --> 00:04:15,127
- Help me get this off.
- Oh, bugs in the mattress?
72
00:04:15,128 --> 00:04:16,128
Yep. Yep.
73
00:04:16,129 --> 00:04:16,988
Get off.
74
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:20,671
Nate: Bugs.
75
00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:25,771
What?
76
00:04:25,772 --> 00:04:27,666
Why would you put that in there?
77
00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:28,726
God.
78
00:04:29,308 --> 00:04:30,230
[Grunts]
79
00:04:30,777 --> 00:04:33,079
No wonder I was getting
such a shitty night's sleep.
80
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:35,350
Ah.
81
00:04:35,682 --> 00:04:37,082
What are you doing? Oh, my God.
82
00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:38,650
- It's not what it looks like.
- It looks like
83
00:04:38,651 --> 00:04:40,519
you're thumbing around
in a bowl of human feces.
84
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,820
Which, that wasn't me, by the way.
85
00:04:41,821 --> 00:04:43,021
The kids must have...
86
00:04:43,022 --> 00:04:45,223
Oh my God! Why would you do that?
87
00:04:45,224 --> 00:04:46,758
It's all a part of his escape plan.
88
00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:48,627
- What kind of plan is that?
- Relax.
89
00:04:48,628 --> 00:04:50,395
It's a candy bar and chocolate sauce,
90
00:04:50,396 --> 00:04:51,596
so nobody looks in the toilet.
91
00:04:51,597 --> 00:04:53,232
It's still disgusting looking.
92
00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:54,634
- What is that?
- Here.
93
00:04:54,635 --> 00:04:56,702
Oh! Oh, my God.
94
00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:58,236
- Open it.
- Wha... No!
95
00:04:58,237 --> 00:05:01,474
- It's chocolate sauce!
- It was still in toilet water!
96
00:05:03,242 --> 00:05:05,677
What is this, airline tickets?
What, did he buy us a trip?
97
00:05:05,678 --> 00:05:06,712
- No.
- That's nice.
98
00:05:06,713 --> 00:05:08,113
And what are these numbers?
99
00:05:08,114 --> 00:05:09,614
- They're coordinates.
- For what?
100
00:05:09,615 --> 00:05:11,016
Who gives us coordinates?
101
00:05:11,017 --> 00:05:13,321
- He took our children.
- He didn't take our...
102
00:05:14,053 --> 00:05:15,554
Why would he take our children?
103
00:05:15,555 --> 00:05:18,256
He took our children
in exchange for that.
104
00:05:18,257 --> 00:05:21,294
105
00:05:25,031 --> 00:05:28,266
Say goodbye to a formerly
great country, kids.
106
00:05:28,267 --> 00:05:31,036
- Yeah.
- This is kind of weird, you know?
107
00:05:31,037 --> 00:05:33,305
Not really. I've watched overregulation
108
00:05:33,306 --> 00:05:36,108
cripple this country since
the Carter administration.
109
00:05:36,109 --> 00:05:38,744
No. I mean, are we being kidnapped?
110
00:05:38,745 --> 00:05:39,683
I don't think so.
111
00:05:40,213 --> 00:05:41,313
You came willingly.
112
00:05:41,314 --> 00:05:42,948
You said our parents were gonna be here.
113
00:05:42,949 --> 00:05:45,651
No. I said your parents
would meet you there.
114
00:05:48,254 --> 00:05:50,292
Don't worry. They're on their way.
115
00:05:53,392 --> 00:05:54,993
I know I left the keys
in here somewhere.
116
00:05:54,994 --> 00:05:56,161
Why don't we just fly?
117
00:05:56,162 --> 00:05:57,629
Because I'm on the no-fly list.
118
00:05:57,630 --> 00:05:58,830
How do you get on that list, anyway?
119
00:05:58,831 --> 00:06:00,499
- I'll tell you later.
- That's...
120
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,934
Look, I didn't get
a chance to straighten up,
121
00:06:02,935 --> 00:06:04,069
but she's a good van.
122
00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:06,004
Thank you for doing this, again.
123
00:06:06,005 --> 00:06:08,573
And the speedometer,
odometer, and tachometer,
124
00:06:08,574 --> 00:06:09,841
they're all a little finicky.
125
00:06:09,842 --> 00:06:11,373
You know, most of
it's just there for show.
126
00:06:11,374 --> 00:06:13,211
Sure. As long as the gas gauge
works, that's all that matters.
127
00:06:13,212 --> 00:06:14,387
Not since the mid '90s.
128
00:06:14,388 --> 00:06:16,882
So I wouldn't push it more than
two hours before a refill.
129
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,851
- [Keys jingle]
- Aha! Got 'em!
130
00:06:19,852 --> 00:06:22,187
Great. That's...
You're a lifesaver, pal.
131
00:06:22,188 --> 00:06:24,356
Listen to me, okay? We're New Yorkers.
132
00:06:24,357 --> 00:06:26,792
When the chips are down,
we're there for each other.
133
00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:29,194
We're resilient
in the face of adversity.
134
00:06:29,195 --> 00:06:30,996
Although some people say
we're a little rude,
135
00:06:30,997 --> 00:06:32,297
we're a little quick to anger...
136
00:06:32,298 --> 00:06:33,965
I'm so sorry. We really don't have time
137
00:06:33,966 --> 00:06:35,367
for this whole New York
is the best bullshit.
138
00:06:35,368 --> 00:06:37,435
- Sorry.
- Exactly. Screw politeness.
139
00:06:37,436 --> 00:06:38,715
Get right to the point.
140
00:06:38,716 --> 00:06:41,949
But underneath all that bluster,
we're in it together.
141
00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:44,910
So how long you need it for?
142
00:06:44,911 --> 00:06:47,334
A week? 10 days tops.
143
00:06:47,335 --> 00:06:49,261
Ooh, slight problem.
144
00:06:49,749 --> 00:06:52,684
Sometimes when I'm in between
places, I sleep in my vehicle.
145
00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:54,658
Like, for the last couple of years.
146
00:06:54,754 --> 00:06:57,155
Okay. Well... Well, why don't
you just stay at our place?
147
00:06:57,156 --> 00:06:57,582
What?
148
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,858
The rent's paid through
the end of the month
149
00:06:58,859 --> 00:07:00,621
And then after that, I don't
know what we're gonna do.
150
00:07:00,622 --> 00:07:01,927
- Okay.
- Yeah, great. Thank you.
151
00:07:01,928 --> 00:07:03,295
- Thanks again, man.
- Great, yeah.
152
00:07:03,296 --> 00:07:04,863
- Thank you so much.
- Great. Need any help?
153
00:07:04,864 --> 00:07:06,229
- No, I got it.
- All right. I should drive.
154
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:06,799
Yeah.
155
00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:10,788
- Okay. Let's go.
- Take care, man.
156
00:07:11,637 --> 00:07:12,630
- All right.
- This is it, huh?
157
00:07:12,662 --> 00:07:14,296
- Yep.
- Come here, come here.
158
00:07:14,407 --> 00:07:16,041
I'm not a hugger. Okay.
159
00:07:16,042 --> 00:07:17,242
Bring those kids home safe, huh?
160
00:07:17,243 --> 00:07:18,877
- Yep.
- Hurry up, Nate. Come on.
161
00:07:18,878 --> 00:07:19,978
He's kissing me.
162
00:07:21,197 --> 00:07:22,380
We just heard the news.
163
00:07:22,381 --> 00:07:24,435
- Just awful.
- You'll be in our thoughts
164
00:07:24,436 --> 00:07:26,484
and non-denominational
meditations tonight.
165
00:07:26,485 --> 00:07:27,282
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
166
00:07:27,283 --> 00:07:29,154
Oh, and we brought you
some homemade caramel corn
167
00:07:29,155 --> 00:07:30,488
- for the trip.
- Okay, great.
168
00:07:30,489 --> 00:07:32,224
We really have to go. Thank you so much.
169
00:07:32,225 --> 00:07:34,426
All families go through this.
Or something like it.
170
00:07:34,427 --> 00:07:36,828
Our little family's going
through its own tragedy.
171
00:07:36,829 --> 00:07:38,446
We're very sorry, but
we really have to go.
172
00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:39,278
I found a lump.
173
00:07:39,279 --> 00:07:41,199
- That's...
- She had a few removed
174
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,068
a few years ago, but this...
175
00:07:43,069 --> 00:07:44,402
This one's not looking good.
176
00:07:44,403 --> 00:07:46,765
- It's spreading.
- I thought we had it beat,
177
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:49,541
but it's looking like it's
gonna be terminal this time.
178
00:07:49,542 --> 00:07:51,109
Nate, we have to go.
We have to go right now, please.
179
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:53,394
- She has cancer.
- We don't know her very well.
180
00:07:53,395 --> 00:07:54,913
Just have some sympathy.
181
00:07:54,914 --> 00:07:57,215
- She's only 25.
- Oh, come on.
182
00:07:57,216 --> 00:07:58,607
You're pushing
this age thing way too far.
183
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,479
Okay, hold on. Who's 25?
184
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,711
- Our cat.
- Oh [bleep] off.
185
00:08:04,557 --> 00:08:06,224
She's not really a cat person.
186
00:08:06,225 --> 00:08:08,760
You understand.
Our kids were kidnappped.
187
00:08:08,761 --> 00:08:11,329
But she's got lumps. Everywhere.
188
00:08:12,108 --> 00:08:13,582
I don't really give a shit, either.
189
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:17,578
[Cries]
190
00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:19,170
Thanks for these!
191
00:08:25,311 --> 00:08:28,247
192
00:08:35,854 --> 00:08:38,257
La, la, la-la
193
00:08:39,131 --> 00:08:43,405
La, la, la-la, la-la, la
194
00:08:43,515 --> 00:08:45,673
You know it took us six days
to drive to Florida last time.
195
00:08:45,674 --> 00:08:46,911
That's why we're not stopping this time.
196
00:08:46,912 --> 00:08:49,182
Gave us first-class tickets.
That's pretty generous.
197
00:08:49,183 --> 00:08:51,109
Can I remind you that
he kidnapped our children
198
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:52,000
for a piece of metal?
199
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:54,219
So maybe let's have
a little perspective.
200
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:56,207
Is it really kidnapping
if he's their grandfather?
201
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:57,742
Yeah. Yeah, it is, actually.
202
00:08:57,743 --> 00:08:59,449
Don't fall for his bullshit, Nate.
203
00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:01,853
My opinion of my dad
is our opinion. Got it?
204
00:09:01,854 --> 00:09:03,297
I got it, got it. Just...
205
00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:07,491
- First-class seats.
- God.
206
00:09:07,492 --> 00:09:09,693
I've never flown first class before.
207
00:09:10,034 --> 00:09:10,957
I hear it's really great.
208
00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:13,203
- It's fine.
- Nah, it's better than fine.
209
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,801
You know, back when I was
flying economy, middle seats,
210
00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:17,555
all those business trips for PFR.
211
00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:20,603
I'd walk past those guys
that get to go on first.
212
00:09:20,604 --> 00:09:23,046
And then they're sitting
there with their hot nuts
213
00:09:23,047 --> 00:09:25,738
and free newspapers, drinking mimosas.
214
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:27,863
Lie-flat beds.
215
00:09:28,753 --> 00:09:31,488
Of course I wouldn't use that.
I'd be too excited to sleep.
216
00:09:31,489 --> 00:09:32,823
[Chuckles]
217
00:09:32,824 --> 00:09:34,013
I was like, "One day."
218
00:09:34,525 --> 00:09:37,340
One day, I'm gonna be up
in front of that curtain."
219
00:09:38,514 --> 00:09:39,481
And here it is.
220
00:09:41,074 --> 00:09:42,302
And we get to use it.
221
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:44,197
They give you socks.
222
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:46,898
Socks. That's so great.
223
00:09:46,969 --> 00:09:49,502
- You have socks.
- I know, but not plane socks.
224
00:09:51,010 --> 00:09:52,753
That's something special.
225
00:09:52,755 --> 00:09:53,755
Is it?
226
00:09:54,154 --> 00:09:56,008
They've never touched the ground.
227
00:09:56,351 --> 00:09:57,488
Literally.
228
00:09:58,583 --> 00:10:00,008
You kids want anything?
229
00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:02,382
Pilot can play the violin if you want.
230
00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:05,385
Or she can give you a massage.
231
00:10:07,463 --> 00:10:09,484
I think I should do some pushups first.
232
00:10:10,204 --> 00:10:11,638
What should we call you?
233
00:10:11,671 --> 00:10:15,305
Whatever you want to call me.
J.R. is fine.
234
00:10:15,306 --> 00:10:16,736
But you're our grandfather.
235
00:10:17,131 --> 00:10:18,887
We can't call you by your actual name.
236
00:10:18,888 --> 00:10:22,970
That's a bit traditional,
but okay, sure.
237
00:10:22,971 --> 00:10:23,888
What do you got?
238
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:25,504
What about just "grandpa"?
239
00:10:25,505 --> 00:10:28,118
Mm, that makes me feel kind of old.
240
00:10:28,357 --> 00:10:29,878
- Baba?
- That's a bottle.
241
00:10:30,034 --> 00:10:32,502
- Grandfather?
- Too formal, no?
242
00:10:32,504 --> 00:10:34,638
- Bobo.
- What am I, a clown?
243
00:10:34,639 --> 00:10:36,740
- G Daddy.
- That's too urban.
244
00:10:36,741 --> 00:10:38,242
- Grampy.
- Too rural.
245
00:10:38,243 --> 00:10:41,298
- What about just Gramps?
- Let's get away from the Gs.
246
00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:42,479
You know what...
247
00:10:43,214 --> 00:10:44,548
What about PP?
248
00:10:44,549 --> 00:10:45,886
What the hell does that even mean?
249
00:10:46,029 --> 00:10:47,463
- Zaide?
- Come on.
250
00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:49,510
If you're not gonna take
any of this seriously...
251
00:10:49,511 --> 00:10:50,748
Oh, Pee-paw!
252
00:10:50,749 --> 00:10:52,524
- Use it in a sentence.
- Um...
253
00:10:53,124 --> 00:10:54,473
Hey, Pee-paw.
254
00:10:56,445 --> 00:10:57,595
[Sighs]
255
00:10:57,596 --> 00:10:58,662
Pee-paw it is.
256
00:10:58,663 --> 00:11:01,833
257
00:11:04,221 --> 00:11:05,401
Penis-lavania.
258
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:08,005
Remember that? It's funny.
259
00:11:08,007 --> 00:11:09,673
Oh, damn it. It's stuck.
260
00:11:09,807 --> 00:11:10,741
What's stuck?
261
00:11:10,742 --> 00:11:12,610
- Floss is stuck.
- Just pull it out.
262
00:11:12,611 --> 00:11:13,844
I am. I'm trying to pull it out.
263
00:11:13,845 --> 00:11:15,613
- Pull harder.
- I'm pulling harder.
264
00:11:15,614 --> 00:11:17,314
- I can't get it out, man.
- Yank it.
265
00:11:17,315 --> 00:11:18,849
Babe, I don't like the way this feels.
266
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:20,150
- I really...
- Pull, pull, pull.
267
00:11:20,151 --> 00:11:21,475
Can you get something to cut it out?
268
00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:23,955
- What do you want me to cut it with?
- Oh, this does not feel good.
269
00:11:23,957 --> 00:11:26,130
Jesus. Can you bite it out or something?
270
00:11:26,132 --> 00:11:27,091
Why would I bite it out?
271
00:11:27,092 --> 00:11:28,492
Because I need it out of my mouth.
272
00:11:28,493 --> 00:11:29,579
Just get it out.
273
00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:30,937
You want me to bite it out of your face?
274
00:11:30,938 --> 00:11:32,563
- Yes, bite it out of my face.
- Oh, my God.
275
00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:33,417
Do something,
because I can't handle this.
276
00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:35,432
Oh, my God. I can't believe
you're making me do this.
277
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,867
Just look at the road.
278
00:11:36,868 --> 00:11:38,135
- I'm looking at the road.
- Calm down! God.
279
00:11:38,136 --> 00:11:39,603
I just... I can't. This hurts so bad.
280
00:11:39,604 --> 00:11:40,904
Here, here. Is this better? Hmm? Hmm?
281
00:11:40,905 --> 00:11:42,640
Oh, God. Oh, God, I can't see anything.
282
00:11:42,641 --> 00:11:43,641
Is that better?
283
00:11:43,642 --> 00:11:45,175
- There.
- Oh, my God!
284
00:11:45,176 --> 00:11:48,079
- God.
- Oh, my God, that feels so much better.
285
00:11:48,736 --> 00:11:50,437
Whew.
286
00:11:50,649 --> 00:11:51,682
Oh, God.
287
00:11:51,683 --> 00:11:53,083
Are you having an orgasm?
288
00:11:53,084 --> 00:11:55,220
No. This feels so much
better than an orgasm.
289
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,857
So, tell me about yourselves.
290
00:11:59,984 --> 00:12:00,883
As people.
291
00:12:02,293 --> 00:12:03,460
You got a girlfriend?
292
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:04,628
She doesn't like to be called that,
293
00:12:04,629 --> 00:12:06,063
but we're moving pretty fast.
294
00:12:06,064 --> 00:12:08,966
- We don't like labels.
- I'm in love.
295
00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:13,138
He's over 2,000 years old,
has long hair, and a beard.
296
00:12:13,497 --> 00:12:15,198
He's a constant in my life.
297
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:16,124
[Sighs]
298
00:12:16,975 --> 00:12:18,542
You don't want to know his name?
299
00:12:18,543 --> 00:12:20,144
I just assumed he was fake.
300
00:12:20,145 --> 00:12:22,429
It's Jesus. I'm in love with Jesus.
301
00:12:22,619 --> 00:12:24,520
Oh. So I was right.
302
00:12:24,616 --> 00:12:27,852
303
00:12:29,287 --> 00:12:30,754
[Inhales deeply]
304
00:12:30,755 --> 00:12:32,589
How long have I been asleep?
305
00:12:32,590 --> 00:12:33,587
- What?
- Ooh.
306
00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:35,726
- You were driving.
- Yeah, but...
307
00:12:35,727 --> 00:12:37,961
A couple highway markers, tops. Right?
308
00:12:38,081 --> 00:12:39,681
You mean mile markers?
309
00:12:39,964 --> 00:12:41,410
What was the last one you saw?
310
00:12:41,411 --> 00:12:42,571
17, I think?
311
00:12:44,102 --> 00:12:46,315
You've been asleep for three miles?
312
00:12:46,316 --> 00:12:47,938
Okay, okay. But that's...
313
00:12:47,939 --> 00:12:49,440
But that's only two and half
minutes at this sp...
314
00:12:49,441 --> 00:12:50,841
You were supposed to keep me awake!
315
00:12:50,842 --> 00:12:52,794
Don't slap me. It's not my fault.
316
00:12:53,122 --> 00:12:55,112
God. Pull over. Let me drive.
317
00:12:55,113 --> 00:12:57,181
No. You are in no condition to drive.
318
00:12:57,182 --> 00:12:58,485
I'm... You're right.
319
00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:01,151
- Hey. Hit me.
- What?
320
00:13:01,152 --> 00:13:03,020
- Hit me in the face.
- Why would I do that?
321
00:13:03,021 --> 00:13:05,456
- To keep me awake.
- I would knock you out.
322
00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:08,358
Don't hit me hit me, just
slap me, like normal people.
323
00:13:08,359 --> 00:13:11,428
It's the only way I know
how to hit... hard.
324
00:13:11,943 --> 00:13:12,413
God.
325
00:13:14,132 --> 00:13:16,901
You know there's other
ways to stay awake.
326
00:13:25,877 --> 00:13:27,778
How's that feel? Doing anything for you?
327
00:13:27,779 --> 00:13:29,413
No, it's... Not really.
328
00:13:29,414 --> 00:13:29,943
Too high?
329
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:30,766
Too... Too low.
330
00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:31,324
Way, way too low.
331
00:13:31,324 --> 00:13:32,252
- What?
- Oh.
332
00:13:33,506 --> 00:13:34,170
Oh, okay.
333
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:35,747
There's your...
334
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,049
- My zipper.
- That's...
335
00:13:37,051 --> 00:13:39,182
- That's my zipper.
- [Laughs]
336
00:13:39,183 --> 00:13:41,505
- Is that stimulating you?
- No.
337
00:13:41,506 --> 00:13:43,183
- Is it keeping you awake?
- It's making me have to pee.
338
00:13:43,184 --> 00:13:44,585
Then we accomplished something.
339
00:13:44,586 --> 00:13:46,004
Yay, one for Nate.
340
00:13:46,694 --> 00:13:49,233
Let's pull over and pee
and we'll get some fresh air.
341
00:13:49,234 --> 00:13:51,530
- I'm not stopping.
- What do you mean you're not stopping?
342
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:52,775
- I'm not stopping. Just...
- You have to pee.
343
00:13:52,776 --> 00:13:53,939
Find me something to pee in, then.
344
00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:55,941
It's going to have to be, like,
this big for you to pee in it.
345
00:13:55,942 --> 00:13:57,589
No, it's way smaller.
346
00:13:57,590 --> 00:13:59,557
My stream is tight, man.
347
00:13:59,814 --> 00:14:02,422
Oh, my God. You're acting
like a mental patient.
348
00:14:02,571 --> 00:14:04,682
Babe, let's go.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
349
00:14:04,698 --> 00:14:06,126
- I don't know what you want me to see.
- I can't...
350
00:14:06,127 --> 00:14:07,142
- There's nothing back here.
- Okay, fine, you know what.
351
00:14:07,143 --> 00:14:08,425
I'm gonna do it.
I'm just gonna do it in this.
352
00:14:08,426 --> 00:14:09,249
- You what? No.
- Yeah.
353
00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:11,143
- Babe, pull over.
- I'm not pulling over.
354
00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:13,247
Here, hold the wheel.
That cup's not big enough.
355
00:14:13,248 --> 00:14:14,815
It's fine.
I've done the math. It's fine.
356
00:14:14,816 --> 00:14:15,826
Does this thing have cruise control?
357
00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:18,088
Oh, my God. I can't believe
you're doing this.
358
00:14:18,089 --> 00:14:18,910
Okay. It's for the kids.
359
00:14:18,911 --> 00:14:21,115
This is gonna save us a minute.
Pull over.
360
00:14:21,116 --> 00:14:24,186
- It's for my children.
- God.
361
00:14:24,187 --> 00:14:26,150
It's gonna fill up too fast.
362
00:14:26,151 --> 00:14:27,738
It's gonna hit your fingers,
you're gonna freak out,
363
00:14:27,739 --> 00:14:29,050
and you're gonna spill it
all over your pants
364
00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:30,562
and your seat and it's gonna
smell like a bus in here.
365
00:14:30,563 --> 00:14:31,770
No one can say I'm not a good mom.
366
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,148
Why, because you're pissing in a cup?
367
00:14:33,149 --> 00:14:35,741
No, because I'm doing
what needs to be done.
368
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:36,958
God, you're stubborn.
369
00:14:38,457 --> 00:14:40,129
- Oh, God.
- That's...
370
00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:43,656
Would you stop? It's so full.
371
00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:49,327
- Okay. Oh, God. Oh, God.
- God.
372
00:14:50,844 --> 00:14:52,692
Oh, it's so hot.
373
00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:54,427
You spilled it all over my sweatshirt!
374
00:14:54,428 --> 00:14:55,896
- Sorry.
- What have you been eating?
375
00:14:55,897 --> 00:14:57,564
- Caramel corn.
- That's...
376
00:14:57,565 --> 00:15:00,134
You've got some sort of
kidney failure or something.
377
00:15:01,002 --> 00:15:01,989
Oh, babe.
378
00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,538
- What?
- It just smells bad.
379
00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:05,539
- Sorry.
- Got it?
380
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:07,240
- Yeah, I got it.
- Okay.
381
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,565
Whew.
382
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:10,644
What are you do...
Wait, what are you doing?
383
00:15:11,047 --> 00:15:11,581
What?
384
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,183
Don't just leave it there.
Get rid of it.
385
00:15:13,185 --> 00:15:14,201
Where would you like me to put it?
386
00:15:14,202 --> 00:15:15,282
Throw it out the window.
387
00:15:15,283 --> 00:15:17,404
I'm not gonna throw it
out the window, okay?
388
00:15:17,427 --> 00:15:19,521
The wind will hit it,
it'll whip back in my face.
389
00:15:19,523 --> 00:15:21,912
- Then do it quickly!
- Okay, your majesty!
390
00:15:23,346 --> 00:15:27,933
[Laughs]
391
00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:31,065
Why would you think
the window was open, honey?
392
00:15:35,621 --> 00:15:37,002
It does smell like popcorn.
393
00:15:45,219 --> 00:15:46,920
Remember that guy Doctor Rob?
394
00:15:47,226 --> 00:15:48,444
That was weird, right?
395
00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:51,060
I think he lived, like,
right off this exit.
396
00:15:51,061 --> 00:15:53,565
Wonder if he ever got wise to those
Russian chicks poisoning him?
397
00:15:53,566 --> 00:15:55,569
Oh, shit. I never told you that, right?
398
00:15:56,385 --> 00:15:58,186
They were slipping antifreeze
into his sweet tea.
399
00:15:58,187 --> 00:15:59,726
Can we just not talk for a little while?
400
00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:01,112
Just for a bit.
401
00:16:01,113 --> 00:16:02,450
Just a little bit of quiet.
402
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,053
Little bit.
403
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:06,568
Okay.
404
00:16:06,934 --> 00:16:09,971
405
00:16:20,077 --> 00:16:21,110
Ow.
406
00:16:21,111 --> 00:16:22,679
God! What?
407
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,414
You were supposed to keep me awake.
408
00:16:24,415 --> 00:16:26,211
What would you like me to do, okay?
409
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,717
You didn't enjoy my finger blasting.
410
00:16:27,718 --> 00:16:29,219
I don't know, talk to me?
411
00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,782
About what?
412
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:33,122
There's nothing left to talk about.
413
00:16:33,123 --> 00:16:36,659
I've known you for 14 years
and seen you every day.
414
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:37,728
God.
415
00:16:39,203 --> 00:16:39,661
God.
416
00:16:39,663 --> 00:16:42,140
Just pull over.
We'll get some gas or something.
417
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,411
I don't buy that whole two-hour thing.
418
00:16:43,412 --> 00:16:46,054
That would mean this thing
only gets six miles a gallon.
419
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,657
- [Engine sputters]
- What was that?
420
00:16:49,002 --> 00:16:49,596
I don't...
421
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:51,159
- What's happening?
- How would I know?
422
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,394
This shit doesn't work.
423
00:16:52,395 --> 00:16:53,441
When was the last time you filled up?
424
00:16:53,442 --> 00:16:55,012
- I don't know.
- Oh, my God.
425
00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:57,398
Pull over, pull over.
There's a rest stop. Get over.
426
00:16:57,399 --> 00:16:59,368
- I'm getting over!
- Oh, my...
427
00:17:00,508 --> 00:17:01,927
Oh, I'm so sorry.
428
00:17:01,928 --> 00:17:04,576
That does not count as an apology.
429
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,302
- [Mockingly] I'm sorry, then.
- Oh, much better.
430
00:17:07,844 --> 00:17:08,954
Much better.
431
00:17:09,354 --> 00:17:10,921
Why don't we just walk to a gas station?
432
00:17:10,923 --> 00:17:13,224
- It's six miles round trip.
- [Sighs]
433
00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:15,217
Why don't we just ask someone
around here for help?
434
00:17:15,218 --> 00:17:16,390
Honey, there's not anyone around here.
435
00:17:16,391 --> 00:17:18,026
Oh, there's not? No?
436
00:17:18,993 --> 00:17:21,505
- You know what I hate about you?
- Whoa, hate?
437
00:17:21,537 --> 00:17:23,555
That is a pretty strong word
for this time of night.
438
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:26,233
All right. Do you know what
I immensely dislike about you?
439
00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:28,635
Before we go down this
delightful little rabbit hole,
440
00:17:28,636 --> 00:17:29,970
you sure you want to?
441
00:17:30,407 --> 00:17:31,294
You play dumb.
442
00:17:33,524 --> 00:17:36,043
- That's it?
- Yeah, you always play dumb.
443
00:17:36,044 --> 00:17:37,844
Okay. Well, sorry.
444
00:17:38,697 --> 00:17:39,875
By the way, I wasn't playing dumb.
445
00:17:39,876 --> 00:17:41,071
I was being sarcastic.
446
00:17:41,072 --> 00:17:43,368
But either way, sorry.
Well, wait, hold on.
447
00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:44,548
Are there, like, a million
things you hate about me?
448
00:17:44,549 --> 00:17:46,753
- Hate? No, not at all.
- Oh, come on.
449
00:17:47,479 --> 00:17:48,909
I'm not happy about a few things,
450
00:17:48,910 --> 00:17:50,758
like you keeping your entire
criminal past from me.
451
00:17:50,759 --> 00:17:52,336
Oh, because we tell
each other everything?
452
00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:55,010
You've told me everything?
I tell you everything.
453
00:17:55,869 --> 00:17:58,221
Except that one time. I was embarrassed.
454
00:17:58,222 --> 00:18:00,074
I lost my job.
What did you want me to do?
455
00:18:00,075 --> 00:18:02,287
Okay? But since then, 100% of the time.
456
00:18:02,288 --> 00:18:04,492
- That's not true.
- I swear on the lives of our children...
457
00:18:04,493 --> 00:18:07,559
- Did you sleep with my sister?
- Friends.
458
00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:08,658
Our childrens' friends.
459
00:18:08,659 --> 00:18:10,256
- Did you?
- Did I what?
460
00:18:10,776 --> 00:18:13,789
- Did you sleep with my sister?
- Sleep? Like, in a bed? No.
461
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,272
Did you have sex with my sister?
462
00:18:15,273 --> 00:18:16,260
I don't even know what that means.
463
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,594
Did your penis go inside
my sister's vagina?
464
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:23,528
- Briefly.
- Oh, my God, no.
465
00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:26,265
I didn't want to. I hated the fact.
466
00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:28,279
- No, I mean, I knew, but...
- It was awful.
467
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,018
- It was the worst.
- I'm in denial.
468
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:31,066
- And it smelled. It was bad.
- That's not...
469
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:31,714
It makes it worse. It makes it worse.
470
00:18:31,715 --> 00:18:32,903
- She was hitting me.
- I can't, no.
471
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,024
You know what made it worse?
I had whiskey dick.
472
00:18:35,025 --> 00:18:36,621
- You couldn't get it up?
- No, whiskey dick.
473
00:18:36,622 --> 00:18:37,968
Like, you just keep going and going.
474
00:18:37,969 --> 00:18:39,146
- That's not what whiskey dick is.
- Yes, it is.
475
00:18:39,147 --> 00:18:41,432
No. Whiskey dick is
when you can't get it up.
476
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,549
- It's... Really?
- Yeah.
477
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:44,924
I should really
stop bragging about that.
478
00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:47,130
- Who are you bragging to?
- I don't know.
479
00:18:47,131 --> 00:18:48,698
People who listen. My dentist.
480
00:18:48,699 --> 00:18:49,518
You're not...
481
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,375
I got to talk to him about something.
482
00:18:51,376 --> 00:18:52,475
- You don't!
- Yes, I do.
483
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:53,922
Listen, she was a mistake.
484
00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:55,330
The biggest mistake of my life,
485
00:18:55,331 --> 00:18:56,853
made worse by the fact
that I fell in love
486
00:18:56,854 --> 00:18:58,176
with that mistake's sister.
487
00:18:59,045 --> 00:18:59,742
Sorry.
488
00:19:01,013 --> 00:19:03,348
God, this will not open.
489
00:19:03,349 --> 00:19:05,351
Babe. Jesus Christ.
490
00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:09,529
Well, I didn't know it opened that way.
491
00:19:18,147 --> 00:19:20,551
- Carlos.
- What about him?
492
00:19:20,552 --> 00:19:21,930
That's that thing.
You're doing that thing.
493
00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:23,164
- What thing?
- You're doing that thing.
494
00:19:23,165 --> 00:19:24,615
- You're doing it again!
- Doing what?
495
00:19:24,616 --> 00:19:26,037
You're playing dumb again.
496
00:19:26,038 --> 00:19:27,732
You know exactly what I'm asking you
497
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:28,845
but you pretend like you don't.
498
00:19:28,846 --> 00:19:30,420
And then you come back
and you ask another question,
499
00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:31,710
but your voice goes up like 18 octaves.
500
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:34,324
What are you talking about?
I don't do that.
501
00:19:34,326 --> 00:19:36,663
I don't, okay? I don't.
502
00:19:41,586 --> 00:19:44,221
[Coughs]
503
00:19:44,957 --> 00:19:46,073
Okay. You did it.
504
00:19:47,184 --> 00:19:48,338
Okay, I'm good.
505
00:19:49,892 --> 00:19:51,242
Okay, I broke his jaw.
506
00:19:51,243 --> 00:19:53,349
But he fell down the stairs on his own.
507
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:55,266
Not my fault.
508
00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:58,536
Man: Hey! Hey, what are you doing?
509
00:19:58,537 --> 00:19:59,837
Oh, shit, there's somebody in there.
510
00:19:59,838 --> 00:20:01,239
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Oh, shit!
511
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,269
Hey! Where you going with my gas?!
512
00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:06,892
Hey! That was $2.39 a gallon!
513
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:08,788
Hey! My nuts!
514
00:20:11,391 --> 00:20:13,534
I'm sorry, baby. I'm fading.
515
00:20:13,535 --> 00:20:15,122
Straight shot to Florida.
516
00:20:15,123 --> 00:20:16,752
You okay? I'm sorry.
517
00:20:16,753 --> 00:20:17,850
Can I sleep for a little bit?
518
00:20:17,851 --> 00:20:19,808
Yeah, no, I'm fine.
I'm fine. I've got my GPS.
519
00:20:19,809 --> 00:20:22,268
All that's missing is my children.
520
00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:23,699
I know, I know.
We'll be there soon, okay?
521
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:24,979
Use that rage.
522
00:20:25,686 --> 00:20:27,449
That rage will keep you awake.
523
00:20:29,263 --> 00:20:30,261
Is this blanket safe?
524
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:31,322
[Sniffs] Nope.
525
00:20:31,323 --> 00:20:32,908
Oh, my God. Why'd I do that?
526
00:20:33,244 --> 00:20:35,781
Oh, that smell's gonna
be with me for a while.
527
00:20:36,424 --> 00:20:37,404
I love you.
528
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,366
I love you, too.
529
00:20:39,261 --> 00:20:41,160
So, where exactly are we going, Pee-paw?
530
00:20:41,161 --> 00:20:43,799
The only place that Uncle Sam
can't get to us.
531
00:20:44,301 --> 00:20:45,166
Where's that?
532
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:46,503
Cuba.
533
00:20:46,504 --> 00:20:51,243
534
00:20:51,244 --> 00:20:52,553
We going to Cuba.
535
00:20:57,939 --> 00:21:01,079
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536
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:05,679
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