All language subtitles for The Curious Creations of Christine Mcconnell s01e02 Gifts for Nosy Neighbors

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

On the top of a dark and distant mountain,

there is a beautiful and talented woman

who uses her unique skills
of baking, sculpting, and sewing

to create delicious confections

and hauntingly disturbing decor.

She finds beauty in the art of darkness
with each creation

and shares them with us,
the unusual creatures

she has taken into her home.

Join us in her delightfully dark world.

Welcome to The Curious Creations
of Christine McConnell.

[snoring]

Rose.

FREAKS

Uh, Rose?

Rose?

[snoring]

Good morning.

Good morning.

Rose?

Did you eat all of that chocolate?

[sighs]

Maybe.

Well, I hope you saved room
for something I made.

- Are you still hungry?
- What is it?

Some coffee cake.

[growls]

Ooh, blueberry muffin.

What the...?

Whoa.

[growls]

Is this what you were doing yesterday?

It was! I found this funny coffee pot
at a tag sale,

and it gave me this idea
to make my very own coffee pot cake.

How did you make the cake look like that?

Easy! I'll show you.

Nothing compliments coffee
better than cake.

COFFEE PERCOLATOR CAKE

So today, using blueberry pound cake,
and buttercream frosting,

I'm going to be making a coffee cake
in the shape

of a coffee dispenser.

So, the first thing you do is create
a support

that is going to hold your cake securely.

Because this cake is so top-heavy,
I'm supporting it with a wooden dowel rod.

My trick is to stack the unfrosted cake

so you can actually carve away,

until you get the curvature
and shape that you desire.

Cutting away at these layers
before stacking is a great way to prevent

excessive crumbs in your buttercream.

Next, you're going to take your cake
and begin stacking it onto your support,

frosting it with buttercream
between each layer.

until you build up a shape
that you're happy with.

Then you'll frost the entire cake
in a thick layer of buttercream.

You can start carving away
at that delicately,

to get the really refined details.

Using an offset spatula,
gently carve downward and evenly

to give the cake a smooth exterior.

So ideally, I would like this to look as

much like hammered copper
when I'm done with it.

So, to prep for that,
once I have the cake perfectly smooth,

I'm going to use this
rounded sculpting tool

to essentially divot
all over the smooth finished cake.

And that, hopefully, once painted,

will give a very realistic appearance.

Any bake supply shop
should have metallic edible paints

that, when mixed with a little bit
of vodka or other alcohol,

turn into a magical liquid.

Remember, it's always best
to keep the brush moist without

having too much paint on it,

as this can cause dripping onto areas
of your cake you don't want painted.

And it allows the paint to dry evenly.

What I've done is baked off
molasses cookies

for the handle, the spout,

and the feet, painted them black...

and then attached them
to the cake using royal icing.

So now, what I have
is some black royal icing

and a parchment pastry bag,

and I'm going to go in
and just do some fine detailing

to add to the luxury.

Try to keep your hand
as steady as possible.

It might be helpful to practice
on a piece of cardboard,

or something upright
to help master this skill.

It's not that hard.
Just takes a little practice.

And that's how I made it.

- [growls]
- [doorbell rings]

Someone's here. I'll get it!

[Rose] Ugh.

- You okay there?
- Wait for me.

I'm coming. [groans]

[gasps] Mr. Ketcham.
What a lovely surprise.

What can I do for you this morning?

Well, you...

you can have

whatever the hell that thing is put
to sleep.

Oh, yeah?

You know that I... Whoa. Uh, sugar cra...

[thud]

That thing has been digging up my garden,
knocking over my trash cans, and...

and abusing my poor garden gnome,
Mr. Grumbles,

in ways that I can only describe
as depraved and disgusting!

I am very sorry to hear about your garden,

but I am sure that anything that happened
between Rose and Mr. Gramble...

Grumbles!

...was consensual.

What can I say?

I have a weakness for small men...

with large...

hats.

That's not the only problem.

What are all the strange noises coming
from this house at night?

I haven't been able to sleep all week.

Okay, well, that is truly unfortunate.

Won't you come in and stay awhile?

I'd love to discuss the matter
over coffee.

Make yourself at home.
I'll be back in just a jiff.

Hey, baby. You miss me?

Who's my boo?

Yeah, that's you, my boo.

Is he being good to you?

I know how to be good.

[laughs]

Hey, Edgar.

- Say hello to the neighbor.
- Ahh.

Ssh-y time.

There we go. Go to sleep.

Take him to the basement.

And don't hurt the gnome!

Poor Mr. Ketcham, not being able to sleep.

I think that earns him a nice big slice.

What else could this use?

[growl]

Ah! Sugar.

Thank you, Millie.

Mr. Ketcham?

Rose?

Edgar?

Where did everyone go?

Why are you here?

- What do you want with Christine?
- Oh gosh, send...

It's no use, this lady ain't talking.

He's not a lady.
And he's not making any sense.

Let's kill him already.

I do suppose it's the only way to get him
to stop upsetting Christine...

permanently.

Yeah. And it gives us something fun
to do today!

Rose? Rankle?

Edgar?

- Oh, we're down here.
- [yells]

- [crunch]
- Ow! Hey! Why did you bite me?

Quiet! She'll hear us.

Well, shouldn't we
at least get permission first?

[sighs] Don't be such a goody-goody!

Christine doesn't mind,
as long as we clean our mess.

That's not entirely true.

Why else would that chart be
up over there?

8 DAYS SINCE LAST FATALITY
2 DAYS UN TIL NEXT REWARD

It says if we make it two more days,
we get banana splits.

[growls]

Zip it! Bernard, I'll find another way
to get you a banana split.

Either way,

I think this can be done

without getting caught.

[laughs] Okay.

You two think of a fun way
to off this guy,

and I'll go make sure she stays upstairs.

Just keep that gag in his mouth.

And don't touch his nipples.

Those are mine.

Good luck, Rose! And make sure not
to tell Christine what we're doing!

You were the runt of your litter,
weren't you?

How'd you know?

Well... you're runty.

Shh!

Rose, there you are.

What happened to Mr. Ketcham?

Oh.

Um... he, uh...

he left!

Yeah! That's right.

I don't know why.

I don't think people like us.

Well, I think the neighbors are starting
to turn into an issue.

Well, if you want me and Rankle
to go kill them in their sleep,

burn their houses, I could do that.

It's inventive.

I was thinking something
that might win them over and not

drive down property value?

So, I'm going to make some homemade
gift crates.

Yeah. I guess you could do that, too.

Where's Rankle and Edgar?

I'm sure they would love doing this.
This is a really fun group project.

Umm...

They went to the cemetery!

Yeah.

Edgar was gonna get you flowers.

And Rankle was all, like,

"I'm gonna raise the dead and I'm

gonna taunt them, by

boring them with stories of Egypt."

[laughs]

Well, since you're here,
do you mind helping?

With what?

Well, I'm gonna make

- hot cocoa jars...
- Mm-hmm.

- ...homemade candied apples...
- Mm-hmm.

...and some candles.

Ooh! I'll help with the hot wax.

- I thought you might like that.
- [laughs]

Winning someone over with a gift
is a great opportunity to get

really creative.

Who's she talking to?

So today, I'm gonna put my own
sinister twist on a classic gift basket.

Who the hell are you talking to?

SCARY FACED CANDLES

So, I would say I'm very much
an amateur candlemaker.

But I think I figured out a really fun way
to make them at home,

kind of on the cheap.

So, with a paper towel core,
aluminum foil, some paraffin wax,

and a little bit of a wick, you'll be able
to make candles at home,

and you can even scent them using things
like cinnamon, nutmeg...

mostly stuff you'll have around the house.

So, the very first step

is taking a little bit of foil,

get it flipped to the length

that you want your candle.
Flip it over to the smooth side.

And then create a secure base.

So, now you'll end up with a base,
and you can very easily...

remove the mold.

And it should be almost ready for pouring.

Taking some sort of tine or needle,

puncture a very small hole,
thread through the wick,

tie a tight little knot.

Now, you have a perfect candle mold

with a wick that's going
to be perfectly centered.

Now, these may leak a little bit,

but that's the fun that comes
with doing things homemade.

That's nice, but get to the wax!

So, the first step is to bring your wax
to a completely liquid state,

then I recommend letting it thicken
for about ten minutes.

That way, when you pour it into the mold,
it'll set much faster.

I think this is just about ready.

So, starting by making a barrier,

pour in only a little bit at first.

And just continue until you reach the top.

Okay.

So, this one's completely set.

I've left it alone to harden
for about two hours,

which is just about the perfect amount
of time.

And there, you have a homemade candle.

So, for my candles,
I wanted a two-tone effect,

And so now I'm going
to heat up some white paraffin wax,

which I then scented with vanilla,
to coat the outer surface.

So, when I carve into this candle,

I'll be able to create
an interesting silhouette

which you'll see in just a moment.

Hot-cha, hot-cha.

A homemade candle.

Once this cools down,
we'll be ready to carve a face.

So, there's a variety of things you can do
to carve a face that you like.

You can add more wax
and build up facial features,

or like I'm going to do today,

you can just carve out essentially
a jack-o'- lantern face.

So, I picked up these sculpting tools just
at the local hobby store,

and I found them useful for all sorts
of things around the house.

So, I'll come back and finish the mouth,
because this does take a little time,

but I will show you a really neat trick

for adding an interesting texture
to your candle.

Taking a fork,

gently drag it down
and scrape the outer layer of wax,

so it resembles tree bark.

So, the scoring technique adds
a really interesting texture,

and gives your candle a lot of character.

I think that candle came out
pretty darn neat-looking.

What do you think, Rose?

Rose?

Where did that other pot of wax go?

Quit squirming, little lady,
this'll all be over soon.

Hey, maybe we should drown her?

I'd rather not get wet.

My skin gets rather mildew-y
and falls off my bones.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Or we could hook her up
to some electrical equipment

and see what happens?

He would make a marvelous scratching post,

- starting with his eyes.
- Ahh.

Um, yeah, I don't want to do anything
that involves a lot of blood.

[laughs]

You wouldn't like what happens
to me when I'm around...

[sniffs]

blood.

Aw, I can smell it in her veins.

- So warm. So fresh.
- Ahh.

Hey, guys, I'm back!

And I got a plan
for those sassy little nipples.

- Ooh, this could be fun.
- Yeah.

- What have you guys been up to?
- Not much.

I sketched some plans for a device
that can make this

a very interesting project,
filled with hours of fun,

but this one doesn't want
to do anything involving blood.

What? Let me see those.

These look good. Bernard, get to work!

[growls]
Ahh!

Rose? Where are you?

- I could still use a hand.
- [laughs]

Good thing she only needs one. Okay,

Edgar, you keep an eye on this weasel
and Rankle, you supervise Bernard.

I don't take orders
from remedial road kill.

That said, events are already in motion.

- [growls]
- [hiss]

[laughs] Fine.

You know, I'm not usually in favor
of exercise for any reason,

but after climbing these stairs all day,
I think I'm starting to feel an ab.

No, wait.

That's the box of truffles I ate earlier.

Okay. Bye.

You know, most people choose not
to eat the actual box!

No wonder we can't recycle anything
around here.

[yells]

So, now we're going to make

peppermint bark that is going to go on top
of some hot cocoa jars that we're making.

It should be pretty f...

Rose? Where have you been?

You wanna help me finish these jars,
or at least just watch?

[groans]

How long will that take?

Pretty quick, it's like the fastest thing
in the crate.

Then I love 'em!

PEPPERMINT BARK HORNS

So, as I was saying, I'm going
to create these cute little horns

that are actually peppermint bark,

using candy canes that are heated
in the oven.

Perfect.

So you keep these in the oven
for about five minutes.

I think I do about 325.

And what you want...

is this,

something that bends and moves.

And it's hot, so watch your fingers.

You can make...

all sorts of shapes with candy canes.

You can make trees, octopus legs,

probably just about anything.

Oh.

And once it sets,
and you coat it in chocolate,

it's going to taste amazing.

Hey, so, can you make a worm?

Yes.

- Can you make snakes?
- You can make anything.

Can you make an umbrella?

Yeah.

- Can you make a model of the Eiffel Tower?
- Of course.

Can you make a working model
of the space station?

Not a very effective one.

Can you make a knife?

Can you make a shiv?

Can you make a bullet?

- A Mexican passport?
- Rose!

- What are you thinking?
- Okay.

Can you make a cigarette?

- No.
- Wow.

That's cool.

Now that I've molded this candy cane
into the shape of a horn,

I think this one's ready to be dipped
in chocolate.

And now you can let it set
for ten minutes.

So, to get the ridges on the horns,
here's a quick simple method.

Parchment bag filled
with the melting chocolate.

And there you have a finished piece
of peppermint bark.

I'll be affixing these to the tops
of little jars I filled

with equal parts confectioners' sugar,

granulated sugar,

dark cocoa,

specialty chocolate chunks,
and marshmallows.

When mixed with hot milk,
this will make a delicious

glass of hot chocolate
and the perfect thing to stir it with.

What do you think, Rose?

Those came out awesome.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

Hey, so, can I go back downstairs?

Bernard was in the middle of telling me
the funniest story, so I'm just gonna...

Well, I was just about to make
the chocolate chip cookies with the eyes.

- [groans] Fine, I'll stay.
- Awesome.

CREEPY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

So now,

I'll show you how to make the creepiest
chocolate chip cookies you'll ever see.

BLEND EYEBALL INTO CREEPY COOKIE

The first step

is how to properly prepare

the dough before going into the oven.

Most recipes call for
mixing everything together,

getting a wadded-up ball,
sticking it in the oven.

But the problem with that is
the chocolate chips disappear.

So, what I like to do,
is follow the tradition,

but once the balls are formed
on your cookie sheet,

take individual morsels,
and place them about,

kind of like a little chocolate porcupine.

So, fresh out of the oven,

take a sculpting tool,

and make a little impression.

And this will create a cavity
for your eyeball.

Then take some modeling chocolate,
roll it into a little ball.

And then using powder paints
that are edible...

paint on little tiny irises,

pupils, and eye detail.

That can now be dropped into the cookie.

So, your next step is the fun part,

making a little bit of royal icing
and tinting it with edible paints,

to match the lightest part of the cookie.

We are going to pipe on an eyelid.

And this doesn't have to be too perfect.

You can use a brush

with a little bit of water,

and blend it into the cookie,
so it sort of becomes seamless,

and looks like it was baked
into the cookie.

And at this point,

hopefully it's starting to have
a little bit of an expression.

But we still have a bottom eyelid to do.

If you want your eye to look menacing,
bring the bottom eyelid close to the

top lid to give it a more sinister look.

Just be creative.

As you piece together the bottom eyelid,
you should really start to see

the final expression come through.

And there you go.

Now, all that's left to do is put
a little bit of clear piping gel...

over the white of the eye
and it should look pretty real.

- What do you think, Rose?
- Uh, looks good.

What's wrong? You okay?

Oh, yeah. I was just thinking.

What about?

Well,

you know how much I love chocolate,
and brutally inhumane torture techniques.

You know, stuff like that.

I love how diverse your interests are.

Yeah.

- Okay, I gotta go this time.
- Before you go,

would you mind helping me

fill this crate with all
the delicious treats that we've made?

[sighs]

- It'll be fun.
- Fine, I'll help you!

Okay.

I think I'm just about done.

A few finishing touches.
What do you think?

You know you can buy stuff like that.

I mean, you could buy all of this.

Uh...

but it's, you know, it's the joy
of making stuff with your own hand...

[groaning]

What was that?

I hope Bernard didn't get a hold
of Foo Foo again.

Mr. Ketcham's Shih Tzu is always nosing
around the yard.

Oh, that's not the sound Foo Foo makes.
[laughs]

You know what I bet it is?

I bet it's stupid Rankle chasing
his tail again.

Classic cat behavior.

[zapping]

Um,

- I think I better go down to the basement.
- Please don't.

Tell me more about the joy
of making something with your own hands!

You know, what's missing is more details.

I just want more details, Christine.

I don't know enough as it is.

Christine, don't go down there!

What is going on down here?

- Let me out of this thing!
- Mr. Ketcham?

[yelling]

Aw man, you guys started without me.

[sighs] You guys are awful.

Uh, it wasn't my idea.
These two made me do it.

I've got to say, it's really heart-warming
seeing all of you

working together for once.

Uh-uh!

So, I like the weighted blade.

Aw thanks, I conceptualized it.

[sighs]
But the blade isn't secured properly.

What?

My designs are beyond reproach.

If anything is wrong,
it's because that babbling behemoth

over there in the corner is illiterate.

[roars]

Alright, I'm gonna help you all.

- Yeah.
- But safety first.

Now let's see how this thing works.

- Yeah.
- [laughs]

And there.

- [laughs]
- [yells]

I smell pee.

[yells]

- Not bad.
- No!

- What the...?
- All right. You've had your fun.

Do you really wanna push
those banana splits back a week?

You are not the Christine I once knew.

Not entirely.
I do think we should kill him.

- Oh, yeah!
- There she is!

With kindness.

Oh, that takes so long.

[muffled talking]

Mr. Ketcham, I apologize
for this little misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding?

You were all trying to kill me!

Untie me this minute!

Here, I'll help!

I am going to report this

den of horrors to the police!

And to the FBI!

- [gasps]
- And...

and I am keeping this ball gag!

Boo.

Not for myself,

but for my... For friends!

- [yells]
- [groans]

Well, that lady got real worked up.

[panting]

- Mr. Ketcham.
- [screams]

So nice for you to finally stop by
for a visit.

I was kidnapped!

Oh, I'm sorry about that,
and for the attempted murder.

Can I make it up to you with a gift?

You think a gift basket is going
to make up for trying to kill me?

- Well, I made them for all the neighbors.
- Yeah.

Here, try a candied apple.

- This is insanity!
- You should try one.

Try one or I'll put it in your belly
the hard way.

Yeah, now.

[muffled talking]

Mister Grumbles!

Mr. Ketcham,

here's a little penicillin.

There's no telling where
that ball gag's been.

Ball gag?

After all your hard work,
she didn't even say thank you.

Yeah.

What are you going to do?
Who wants ice cream?

- Ooh! Yeah!
- Me!

Yeah!

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0