Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,711 --> 00:00:03,460
I've got homework.
Who called the family meeting?
2
00:00:03,563 --> 00:00:06,998
I did. We have a problem.
3
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:08,532
Wait, there's no push-back
4
00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:10,334
on me calling a family meeting?
5
00:00:10,403 --> 00:00:11,602
Aww. I love you guys.
6
00:00:11,671 --> 00:00:13,003
- [Indistinct chatter]
- Stop!
7
00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:14,572
Down!
8
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,441
College-application time.
9
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:18,835
JJ's not taking it seriously.
10
00:00:18,914 --> 00:00:21,512
Seniors were supposed
to hand in this essay a week ago.
11
00:00:21,581 --> 00:00:24,215
Why haven't you done it?
It's really important.
12
00:00:24,283 --> 00:00:25,716
"It is.
13
00:00:25,785 --> 00:00:28,385
But there's so much good TV these days."
14
00:00:28,454 --> 00:00:31,489
Living in the golden age
of content is no excuse, JJ.
15
00:00:31,557 --> 00:00:32,556
Your father and I will support
16
00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:33,591
whatever hopes you have for college,
17
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,059
but you got to take the lead.
18
00:00:35,128 --> 00:00:35,993
Let's talk essay.
19
00:00:36,062 --> 00:00:37,928
What is your passion?
20
00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:42,700
P-O-O...
21
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,568
No, JJ, not buying it.
22
00:00:44,637 --> 00:00:46,504
Pretending you have to poop
has gotten you out of enough jams.
23
00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:48,472
You have passions.
24
00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:50,407
Let's put our heads together.
We got this.
25
00:00:50,476 --> 00:00:51,742
?
26
00:00:51,811 --> 00:00:53,177
I've got it!
27
00:00:53,246 --> 00:00:54,545
What's your passion?
28
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:57,014
"Short essays." Done. Eh?
29
00:00:57,083 --> 00:01:00,351
We all hate it when you try
and think outside the box.
30
00:01:00,419 --> 00:01:02,019
Yeah.
31
00:01:02,088 --> 00:01:04,021
Oh, I know! Giving back to society.
32
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,723
When has he ever?
33
00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:07,224
Never. He'll start. Type.
34
00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:09,426
- [Keyboard clacking]
- "...and make our world
35
00:01:09,495 --> 00:01:12,663
a better place for us all."
36
00:01:12,732 --> 00:01:15,166
Perfect. JJ?
37
00:01:15,234 --> 00:01:17,735
?
38
00:01:17,803 --> 00:01:19,403
That is not what you just said to him.
39
00:01:19,472 --> 00:01:21,105
I told him what he needed to hear.
40
00:01:21,174 --> 00:01:24,909
[Sighs] Oh, you can't be mad, though,
can you? TV's too bloody good.
41
00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:28,846
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
42
00:01:28,915 --> 00:01:30,314
Mom, Dad?
43
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:31,515
I don't ask for much.
44
00:01:31,584 --> 00:01:33,083
I don't drive a fancy car
45
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:35,419
or wear the latest fashions from Milan.
46
00:01:37,117 --> 00:01:38,522
Can I have a pet snake?
47
00:01:38,591 --> 00:01:40,090
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Not on your life.
48
00:01:40,159 --> 00:01:41,258
I understand.
49
00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:44,895
?
50
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,019
[Snake hissing]
51
00:01:46,044 --> 00:01:49,466
So, you're gonna be a secret snake.
52
00:01:49,535 --> 00:01:51,001
Sssssss!
53
00:01:52,405 --> 00:01:54,004
What is it, darling?
54
00:01:54,073 --> 00:01:55,539
Danton College?
55
00:01:55,608 --> 00:01:57,074
That's six hours away.
56
00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:59,076
"But it's good for"...
57
00:01:59,145 --> 00:02:00,744
E-N... "engineering.
58
00:02:00,813 --> 00:02:01,946
It's my passion."
59
00:02:02,014 --> 00:02:03,047
Really?
60
00:02:03,115 --> 00:02:04,248
Buddy, you do know that an engineer
61
00:02:04,317 --> 00:02:06,984
isn't the guy who drives
the train, right?
62
00:02:07,053 --> 00:02:10,521
He also has to inspect
and maintain the train.
63
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:13,591
"I want to make things.
64
00:02:13,659 --> 00:02:15,559
My life is a "... P-U... " puzzle.
65
00:02:15,628 --> 00:02:20,364
I want to find solutions
and help people."
66
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:21,765
Well, that is beautiful.
67
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,500
I told you we were good parents!
68
00:02:23,569 --> 00:02:24,568
Agree to disagree.
69
00:02:24,637 --> 00:02:26,604
JJ, engineering is your passion?
70
00:02:26,672 --> 00:02:27,838
You've never mentioned it.
71
00:02:27,907 --> 00:02:29,940
"I didn't think it was"...
72
00:02:30,009 --> 00:02:33,477
P-O... "possible until now."
73
00:02:33,546 --> 00:02:35,646
Oh, they've got a tour this weekend.
74
00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:37,214
"Can we go?
75
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,750
It would be a"... D-R... "dream."
76
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,854
[Sighs] Look at his face.
77
00:02:43,923 --> 00:02:45,656
It's six hours away. It's not practical.
78
00:02:45,725 --> 00:02:47,491
I think we have to have
a hard conversation.
79
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,160
Let me take this one?
80
00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:52,529
Buddy, we believe in you,
81
00:02:52,598 --> 00:02:55,799
but you going to a college
that far away...
82
00:02:55,868 --> 00:02:56,800
Overruled!
83
00:02:56,869 --> 00:02:57,935
How dare you limit our son?!
84
00:02:58,004 --> 00:03:00,004
JJ, go and pack.
85
00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:01,605
Did you know we were going to do that?
86
00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:05,042
You know what, don't tell me.
Ruins the magic.
87
00:03:05,111 --> 00:03:07,945
Gents. Parents are away for the weekend.
88
00:03:08,014 --> 00:03:09,413
Throwing a little get-together.
89
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,815
You guys are invited.
90
00:03:11,884 --> 00:03:13,284
"A night of fantasy gaming.
91
00:03:13,352 --> 00:03:14,285
When the parents are away,
92
00:03:14,353 --> 00:03:17,054
the kids shall... roleplay?"
93
00:03:17,123 --> 00:03:18,589
Uh...
94
00:03:18,658 --> 00:03:20,724
[Chuckles] Yeah, we'll see.
95
00:03:22,061 --> 00:03:24,728
All right, seven yeses.
96
00:03:26,132 --> 00:03:28,832
Ray, buddy, no one's gonna go to this.
97
00:03:28,901 --> 00:03:30,701
Those kids want to go to parties.
98
00:03:30,770 --> 00:03:31,902
Oh, no, this high school
99
00:03:31,971 --> 00:03:33,404
doesn't actually have parties.
100
00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:35,739
That stuff's just a myth
created by Hollywood elites.
101
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:36,707
[Sighs]
102
00:03:38,744 --> 00:03:40,711
Oh, Ray...
103
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,179
This high school has parties?
104
00:03:42,248 --> 00:03:43,380
Mm-hmm.
105
00:03:43,449 --> 00:03:45,449
All right, new plan...
I'm throwing a real party.
106
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:46,984
And as the coolest guy I know,
107
00:03:47,053 --> 00:03:49,186
I want you to handle the guest list.
108
00:03:49,255 --> 00:03:50,220
Oh, invite your brother!
109
00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:52,356
You for real? My brother's crazy.
110
00:03:52,425 --> 00:03:55,059
I want him... and his friends.
111
00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:57,161
And tell him to bring...
112
00:03:57,229 --> 00:03:58,462
[Whispers] ...liquid refreshments.
113
00:03:58,531 --> 00:03:59,563
[Scoffs] It's your party.
114
00:03:59,632 --> 00:04:02,099
Also, remind me,
do parties at this school
115
00:04:02,168 --> 00:04:04,101
usually have, like, themes?
116
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:05,402
What? No.
117
00:04:05,471 --> 00:04:07,905
I was just kidding, Justin.
118
00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:09,873
Comedy.
119
00:04:09,942 --> 00:04:14,445
?
120
00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:17,147
Maya: Come on, Dylan!
Let's get on the road!
121
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,949
Coming! [Sighs]
122
00:04:19,018 --> 00:04:21,051
Off to college, Dylan Junior.
123
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:22,820
I'll miss... you.
124
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:25,656
Snakes can escape?!
125
00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:28,926
What were you doing back there?
126
00:04:28,994 --> 00:04:31,628
I'm... restoring an antique piano.
127
00:04:31,697 --> 00:04:32,730
Oh, okay.
128
00:04:32,798 --> 00:04:34,431
Have a good weekend, guys. Ta-ta.
129
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,166
Wait. Ray's staying here?
130
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,569
Yeah, we weren't sure about leaving
a teenager alone for the weekend,
131
00:04:38,637 --> 00:04:41,405
but, I mean, the guy just said, "Ta-ta."
132
00:04:43,843 --> 00:04:47,978
Let's just hope this isn't
the big... ta-ta.
133
00:04:51,384 --> 00:04:54,385
Finally! A little love around here.
134
00:04:58,124 --> 00:05:00,691
[Bob Seger's "Old Time
Rock And Roll" playing]
135
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,625
Aah!
136
00:05:01,694 --> 00:05:03,827
Ohh! Ohh, that's a nail!
137
00:05:03,896 --> 00:05:05,262
[Grunts] That's a nail!
138
00:05:05,331 --> 00:05:07,464
Ohh! Ohh! Mommy, come home!
139
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:09,767
[Knock on door]
140
00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:10,834
[Music stops]
141
00:05:10,903 --> 00:05:14,338
'Sup, Ray? Party's in here, boys.
142
00:05:14,407 --> 00:05:16,640
What is this? Who are all these kids?
143
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:18,642
You said to invite
my brother and his friends.
144
00:05:18,711 --> 00:05:20,611
I meant your cool older brother.
145
00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:22,112
Why would he come to your party?
146
00:05:22,181 --> 00:05:23,414
The dude's got a moustache.
147
00:05:23,482 --> 00:05:25,015
Thanks, Justin. I owe you.
148
00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:27,184
[Scoffs] I'm gonna
hold you to that, Karen.
149
00:05:27,253 --> 00:05:28,285
[Laughs]
150
00:05:28,354 --> 00:05:29,586
What the hell is happening?!
151
00:05:29,655 --> 00:05:31,989
Babysitting ring, bro. I make mad coin.
152
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:33,924
And, uh, the moms
ain't that bad, either.
153
00:05:33,993 --> 00:05:35,092
Have a fun party, Ray.
154
00:05:35,161 --> 00:05:36,293
You're not even staying?
155
00:05:36,362 --> 00:05:38,228
Oh, heads up. If Trevor
has peanuts, he'll die.
156
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,497
Don't let him trick you.
Dude loves peanuts.
157
00:05:40,566 --> 00:05:42,099
?
158
00:05:42,168 --> 00:05:43,600
Sucks for Trevor.
159
00:05:43,669 --> 00:05:47,137
Hey, can I have some peanuts?
My name's Chase.
160
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:50,507
This place is gorgeous.
Look at this quad.
161
00:05:50,576 --> 00:05:53,377
Quad? At these prices,
it should be a quint!
162
00:05:53,446 --> 00:05:55,879
- [Women scoff]
- Laughing at great jokes is un-PC now, huh?
163
00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:57,014
Snowflakes.
164
00:05:57,082 --> 00:05:58,382
What do you think of this place, JJ?
165
00:05:58,451 --> 00:06:00,851
"It's perfect."
166
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,586
Should we go find that tour?
167
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:03,654
Dylan: "There's a"...
168
00:06:03,722 --> 00:06:07,791
S-T... "student-only tour
I want to take."
169
00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:10,694
So independent.
All right, go forth, son.
170
00:06:10,763 --> 00:06:12,029
Come back with dreadlocks
171
00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,697
and tell me how everything
I know is incorrect.
172
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,633
We are gonna break his heart.
173
00:06:16,702 --> 00:06:18,669
Set aside the fact that
this place is six hours away,
174
00:06:18,737 --> 00:06:20,571
we're never gonna be able
to afford this tuition.
175
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,606
Oh, come on. Of course...
176
00:06:22,675 --> 00:06:24,808
[Gasps] Good God!
177
00:06:24,877 --> 00:06:26,777
That's just for JJ?
178
00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:28,579
Why do we have so many children?
179
00:06:28,647 --> 00:06:29,880
Uh, look, you know what,
180
00:06:29,949 --> 00:06:32,082
we'll go by the financial-aid
office and have a talk.
181
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,117
You just couldn't keep your
bloody hands off me, could you?
182
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,419
[Chuckles]
183
00:06:35,488 --> 00:06:37,120
JJ, where are you going?
184
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,790
You said the tour
was meeting back there.
185
00:06:39,859 --> 00:06:43,427
"We're not here for the tour."
186
00:06:43,496 --> 00:06:45,262
?
187
00:06:45,331 --> 00:06:46,997
Are they filming a movie?
188
00:06:47,066 --> 00:06:48,565
JJ?
189
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:49,633
JJ DiMeo's here!
190
00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:52,336
Wait! JJ, you're in this?
191
00:06:52,404 --> 00:06:54,204
We didn't come here
so you could tour the college,
192
00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:56,340
we came here so you could
be in some movie?
193
00:06:56,408 --> 00:06:58,108
This isn't "some movie."
194
00:06:58,177 --> 00:07:01,612
This is "Bikini University 3:
Horny Homecoming."
195
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,482
?
196
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:08,418
"I'm sorry, I'm gross."
197
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:10,923
No, it's what you should have said.
198
00:07:12,369 --> 00:07:14,143
JJ!
199
00:07:14,276 --> 00:07:16,410
I'm Frank Dante, the director.
200
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,445
So glad you answered our ad.
201
00:07:18,514 --> 00:07:19,480
Dylan: "It's an honor.
202
00:07:19,548 --> 00:07:22,182
I loved 'Bikini University 2:
203
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:23,484
- The Dean's"...
- Ahh!
204
00:07:23,552 --> 00:07:24,985
R-E... "Revenge.'"
205
00:07:25,054 --> 00:07:26,787
Kid, you don't know
how happy that makes me.
206
00:07:26,856 --> 00:07:28,055
People say that today's teens
207
00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:30,190
don't want raunchy comedies
like "Bikini U."
208
00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:35,362
"I do. Gimme. Gimme. Gimme."
209
00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:37,831
"Gimme."
210
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,466
I like this kid!
211
00:07:39,535 --> 00:07:41,602
JJ! Mom and Dad are gonna kill you
212
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,505
when I tell them why we're really here.
213
00:07:44,573 --> 00:07:48,642
"If you do, I'll tell them
about your S..."
214
00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:50,611
You know about my snake?!
215
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,480
How? We've been so careful
when I haven't lost him.
216
00:07:53,549 --> 00:07:55,949
Hi! We're gonna be working together!
217
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:59,086
I'm Ally, but my character's
name is Bikini Boobs.
218
00:07:59,154 --> 00:08:00,921
- [Laughs]
- "I'm JJ.
219
00:08:00,990 --> 00:08:04,691
My character is Bikini Boobs...
220
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,962
In Face... Wheelchair Boy."
221
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:12,733
[Sighs] You suck. Like, a lot.
222
00:08:12,801 --> 00:08:14,902
We have many financial-aid
packages available.
223
00:08:14,970 --> 00:08:16,703
Take a look.
224
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,607
[Clicks tongue] Pauline, do you know,
225
00:08:20,676 --> 00:08:22,442
I've never said this to a woman before.
226
00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:24,344
But I want to make you
fall in love with me,
227
00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:27,314
give myself to you... once...
then break your heart.
228
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:28,882
And when you ask me why,
229
00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:31,318
I'm gonna say, "'Cause of that chart."
230
00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:33,754
That was fun. Uh, wait,
this looks interesting.
231
00:08:33,822 --> 00:08:35,355
Uh, 80% off tuition?
232
00:08:35,424 --> 00:08:37,124
Uh, that's for kids of Danton employees.
233
00:08:37,192 --> 00:08:38,292
Oh, we can do that.
234
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,660
I'll move up here and I'll get a job.
235
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,761
But what would you do?
236
00:08:40,829 --> 00:08:41,962
Clerical work, be an assistant.
237
00:08:42,031 --> 00:08:43,196
You know, I'll start at the bottom.
238
00:08:43,265 --> 00:08:44,865
[Snickers]
239
00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:45,799
Why are you laughing?
240
00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:47,367
You, starting at the bottom.
241
00:08:47,436 --> 00:08:49,436
Answering to someone, taking orders...
242
00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:50,823
You know what?
Actually, could you get me that pen?
243
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,102
- Get it yourself.
- Yeah, that was a test.
244
00:08:52,127 --> 00:08:55,142
- You want to know how you did?
- [Sighs] So I'm a natural alpha.
245
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:56,343
Sue me.
246
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,412
Look, if I've got to slum it
to help my son,
247
00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,513
then that's what I'll do.
248
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,911
Don't believe me? Look, I'll show you.
249
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,751
- Your pen.
- That's actually my pen.
250
00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:07,220
Lady, I've had it up to here with you!
251
00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:09,923
[Children yelling]
252
00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:11,592
Oh, it's so loud.
253
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:13,126
Just be quiet!
254
00:09:13,195 --> 00:09:15,696
- [Yelling stops]
- [Ball bouncing]
255
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:19,266
Ugh. Don't do that. Now it's just eerie.
256
00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:20,734
[Door closes]
257
00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:22,235
- [Children laughing]
- Ray!
258
00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:24,938
You got me out of a hot tub
with a Shakira look-alike
259
00:09:25,007 --> 00:09:27,107
to show me you started a daycare center?
260
00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:29,443
I tried to throw a party with
the coolest kids from school,
261
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:31,311
and this is who showed up.
262
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:33,647
I'm a total loser.
263
00:09:33,716 --> 00:09:35,515
Hey, Ray, come on.
264
00:09:35,584 --> 00:09:36,984
This could be a good thing.
265
00:09:37,052 --> 00:09:38,652
You want to be cool?
266
00:09:38,721 --> 00:09:41,188
Start with an easy crowd first.
267
00:09:41,256 --> 00:09:42,756
Kevin Hart did open mics
268
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:44,625
before he could fill stadiums.
269
00:09:44,693 --> 00:09:46,293
Baseball players start in the minors
270
00:09:46,362 --> 00:09:47,728
before they hit the big leagues.
271
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:51,565
Or rock stars.
There's a lot of examples.
272
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,767
I guess it's a very basic concept.
273
00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:56,169
How do I even impress 10-year-olds?
274
00:09:56,238 --> 00:09:57,270
[Chuckles] Well, it's easy.
275
00:09:57,339 --> 00:09:58,905
Hey, yo! Listen up!
276
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,574
This guy right here...
277
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:01,608
[Laughs]
278
00:10:01,677 --> 00:10:03,410
...he just said the "A" word.
279
00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:06,680
[Admiring exclamations]
280
00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,448
Yeah, no, I'm not above this.
281
00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:11,018
Okay, so, Dean Dinkins does his line...
282
00:10:11,086 --> 00:10:13,286
"Shut this party down
before you ruin everything!
283
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:14,621
I'm trying to sell this college,
284
00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:15,856
and I won't have you blow it!"
285
00:10:15,924 --> 00:10:19,493
Then I say to JJ,
"Your nose looks cold."
286
00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:23,030
And then I stick my chest
in your face...
287
00:10:23,098 --> 00:10:24,131
Then the dean talks.
288
00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,667
"Shouldn't we rehearse that part?"
289
00:10:26,735 --> 00:10:28,969
Oh, no. That part's easy.
290
00:10:29,038 --> 00:10:31,338
JJ, why is your nose even cold?
291
00:10:31,407 --> 00:10:33,974
Oh, because the frat guys
locked him in a freezer.
292
00:10:34,043 --> 00:10:35,042
But then I come and warm him up.
293
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:36,309
[Giggles]
294
00:10:36,378 --> 00:10:38,645
"What might that look like?"
295
00:10:38,714 --> 00:10:41,148
Ugh, I'm really struggling
with my character.
296
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:42,249
Hopefully, I'll just be amazing
297
00:10:42,317 --> 00:10:43,350
when we shoot it, for some reason.
298
00:10:43,419 --> 00:10:45,852
"One"... S-U... "suggestion.
299
00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:50,057
Say your line as you're walking out."
300
00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:52,959
?
301
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,995
I like it. Do you direct?
302
00:10:55,064 --> 00:10:58,265
"No, I just watch lots of movies."
303
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,300
Thanks, Boobs in Face Wheelchair Boy.
304
00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:01,334
[Sighs]
305
00:11:01,403 --> 00:11:02,636
[Knock on door]
306
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:05,372
Hello. I have the groceries you ordered.
307
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:06,740
You're the person the app sent?
308
00:11:06,809 --> 00:11:08,175
I know I don't look the part,
309
00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:09,376
but I'm using this app
310
00:11:09,445 --> 00:11:10,944
to prove I can take orders
and hold a job
311
00:11:11,013 --> 00:11:12,746
so my son can attend
the school of his dreams.
312
00:11:12,815 --> 00:11:13,847
No, I was just confused.
313
00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:16,183
It says here you're a man named Mayo.
314
00:11:16,251 --> 00:11:20,520
A thousand apologies, oh, great Dave G.
315
00:11:20,589 --> 00:11:22,255
[Sighs] This was the best grapefruit?
316
00:11:22,324 --> 00:11:24,825
Well, you asked for
the "dankest grapefruit,"
317
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,193
which seemed subjective.
318
00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:27,461
And I asked for Advil.
319
00:11:27,529 --> 00:11:28,628
Oh, I got you the generic brand.
320
00:11:28,697 --> 00:11:30,230
It's the same thing.
I saved you 3 bucks.
321
00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:32,299
You should've gotten me Advil.
This stuff sucks.
322
00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:33,767
It's literally the same thing.
323
00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:34,835
Are you arguing with me?
324
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,637
No! I'm being correct near an idiot.
325
00:11:37,706 --> 00:11:38,839
?
326
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,041
[Upbeat funk music playing]
327
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:44,010
Hey, Ray, we wanted
to play some Minecraft.
328
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,445
What are your rules on screen time?
329
00:11:45,514 --> 00:11:46,980
It's a party, man.
330
00:11:47,049 --> 00:11:49,116
Unlimited... within reason.
331
00:11:49,184 --> 00:11:50,083
- Yes!
- Yes!
332
00:11:50,152 --> 00:11:52,486
Dude, I saw this kit in the store.
333
00:11:52,554 --> 00:11:54,087
The box says 16 and older.
334
00:11:54,156 --> 00:11:56,590
Wish I'd known that when I built it.
335
00:11:56,658 --> 00:11:58,525
When I was 13.
336
00:11:58,594 --> 00:11:59,459
Whoa.
337
00:11:59,528 --> 00:12:01,328
Juice box me.
338
00:12:03,465 --> 00:12:04,731
It's all good.
339
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,000
I know what "doing it" is.
340
00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:09,770
He gave you one star,
and the comment is,
341
00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:11,338
"Why can't I give zero stars?"
342
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:12,372
Oh, for God's sake!
343
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,374
I had no idea how hard it was
344
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,842
to let people walk all over you.
345
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:17,177
What can I say, some of us just have
346
00:12:17,246 --> 00:12:19,412
a flair for being emasculated.
347
00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:20,947
Look, this place is crazy expensive.
348
00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:22,482
I-I don't think it's meant to be.
349
00:12:22,551 --> 00:12:25,519
- We'll talk to JJ, and it'll be okay.
- Okay.
350
00:12:25,587 --> 00:12:28,155
This grapefruit is not dank!
351
00:12:28,223 --> 00:12:31,158
Well, feed it to your three
"Scarface" posters, jackass!
352
00:12:31,226 --> 00:12:32,893
You would not believe
353
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,628
how often people come up to me and say,
354
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:38,131
"Frank, I love the 'Bikini
University' movies,
355
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,467
and I'm a woman."
356
00:12:40,536 --> 00:12:41,735
?
357
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,136
[Cellphone chimes]
358
00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:45,472
Uh-oh. Mom and Dad.
359
00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:47,574
"Where's JJ? We need to talk."
360
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:49,609
It's almost time for your big scene, JJ.
361
00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:52,312
Wait. What's wrong?
362
00:12:52,381 --> 00:12:55,615
?
363
00:12:55,684 --> 00:12:58,185
"Want to do some real acting?"
364
00:12:58,253 --> 00:12:59,953
?
365
00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:01,588
Hey.
366
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:02,823
We thought you guys were on the tour.
367
00:13:02,891 --> 00:13:05,325
We're sorry, but it's not
a realistic option.
368
00:13:05,394 --> 00:13:08,161
Can we start heading back
and talk about it in the car?
369
00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:10,764
JJ, there you are! I brought someone.
370
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,233
Dean Dinkins, this is JJ DiMeo.
371
00:13:13,302 --> 00:13:15,569
JJ, I hear you're looking to
join our engineering department.
372
00:13:15,637 --> 00:13:17,838
Son, you seem like Danton material
373
00:13:17,906 --> 00:13:19,139
through and through.
374
00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:21,675
You're the dean? You're very young.
375
00:13:21,743 --> 00:13:22,776
And... hot.
376
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,744
[Chuckles] I get that a lot.
377
00:13:24,813 --> 00:13:27,214
Working with quality
young people like JJ here
378
00:13:27,282 --> 00:13:28,782
is my own fountain of youth.
379
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:31,017
Yeah, JJ is awesome.
380
00:13:31,086 --> 00:13:32,185
Well, he made a friend.
381
00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:35,155
And she's hot.
She's like Dean Dinkins hot.
382
00:13:35,224 --> 00:13:36,389
JJ, let's get back.
383
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:38,825
That math equation
isn't gonna solve itself.
384
00:13:38,894 --> 00:13:40,660
- May I borrow him?
- For math.
385
00:13:40,729 --> 00:13:43,897
?
386
00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:46,166
Well, we can't quit,
'cause it's his dream, isn't it?
387
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:47,601
Go on, open that app again.
388
00:13:47,669 --> 00:13:49,803
- [Upbeat pop music playing]
- Ah, look at you.
389
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,004
Feeling confident, huh?
390
00:13:51,073 --> 00:13:53,373
My man, I own this crowd.
391
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:55,675
I've got them wrapped around my finger.
392
00:13:55,744 --> 00:13:57,611
And once they see my magic act...
393
00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,579
Oh, no. No, no, no. Too confident.
394
00:13:59,648 --> 00:14:01,948
- Too confident!
- Too confident my "A."
395
00:14:02,017 --> 00:14:03,850
Kids, pop a squat.
396
00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:04,885
I can't watch this.
397
00:14:04,953 --> 00:14:06,253
I'm calling weird-eye Shakira
398
00:14:06,321 --> 00:14:07,821
to tell her to fire the tub back up.
399
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,823
?
400
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,358
[Dramatic rock music playing]
401
00:14:11,426 --> 00:14:16,196
We perceive our world
through our five senses.
402
00:14:16,265 --> 00:14:17,664
Or do we?
403
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:18,765
[Children gasping]
404
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,634
Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
405
00:14:20,702 --> 00:14:23,536
- [Snake hissing]
- Now I will remove my thumb.
406
00:14:23,605 --> 00:14:25,338
[Admiring exclamations]
407
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,907
I know, right?
408
00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:29,075
Awesome!
409
00:14:29,144 --> 00:14:32,212
[Hissing continues]
410
00:14:32,281 --> 00:14:34,281
- [High-pitched scream]
- [Laughter]
411
00:14:34,349 --> 00:14:36,616
Uh, grab some of that
equipment and follow me.
412
00:14:36,685 --> 00:14:38,618
Oh, with pleasure. Is there
anything else I can do for you?
413
00:14:38,687 --> 00:14:40,353
Don't hold back. Treat me like garbage.
414
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:41,888
- I am your peon.
- No, just that.
415
00:14:41,957 --> 00:14:45,692
So this is for a movie?
What are you filming?
416
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:46,893
Okay, everyone, come in quick.
417
00:14:46,962 --> 00:14:48,295
We'll hide from the snake in here.
418
00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:50,063
Come on. Come on. Come on.
419
00:14:50,132 --> 00:14:51,398
?
420
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:53,700
No one else is afraid of the snake?
421
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:56,970
[Children chanting]: Babies!
422
00:14:57,039 --> 00:14:59,506
I've got bad news for you, Austin.
423
00:14:59,574 --> 00:15:01,274
Those babies are us.
424
00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:03,977
Frank, we are way behind.
We gotta do this.
425
00:15:04,046 --> 00:15:06,313
Fine, but I need a rehearsal.
Where's Bikini Boobs?
426
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:07,414
Still in makeup.
427
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:10,617
Well, just get me a stand-in. Anybody!
428
00:15:10,686 --> 00:15:13,553
Hey, you, app lady. Come with me.
429
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:14,955
Stand right here.
430
00:15:15,023 --> 00:15:16,323
Face this way.
431
00:15:16,391 --> 00:15:19,125
I mean, for five stars, I really
would stand in a volcano.
432
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:21,528
Where's our horny wheelchair kid?
433
00:15:21,596 --> 00:15:22,729
[Wheels screech]
434
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:24,898
?
435
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,300
That's my horny wheelchair kid.
436
00:15:27,369 --> 00:15:31,404
JJ, I've lost sight of Dad and... Mom.
437
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:34,174
I'm just gonna come clean.
I have a snake.
438
00:15:35,026 --> 00:15:37,877
So that's why we're here?
We drove six hours,
439
00:15:37,947 --> 00:15:39,926
we agonized over how to pay for it.
440
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,450
I was gonna get a job up here,
and for what?
441
00:15:41,493 --> 00:15:42,859
So you could roll around a movie set
442
00:15:42,912 --> 00:15:44,344
and nuzzle some girl's chest puppies?
443
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,803
You made your mother
say "chest puppies."
444
00:15:46,872 --> 00:15:49,206
"In the movie's defense,
445
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:53,110
they cast an actual
wheelchair user for the part."
446
00:15:53,178 --> 00:15:54,816
Yeah, that is actually laudable.
Credit where credit's due.
447
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,722
- Sure.
- Doesn't change anything.
448
00:15:56,777 --> 00:15:58,248
You lied!
449
00:15:58,317 --> 00:15:59,783
You lied.
450
00:15:59,852 --> 00:16:03,453
We were so happy that
you'd found a passion.
451
00:16:03,522 --> 00:16:05,656
"You're"...D-R... "dreaming
452
00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:08,025
if you think I could go"...
453
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,261
S-O... "someplace like this."
454
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:13,230
I'm not buying your excuses anymore.
455
00:16:13,299 --> 00:16:15,532
We take you seriously.
It's time you did, too.
456
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:16,700
Congratulations, JJ.
457
00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:20,170
You've been accepted
to college... with honors.
458
00:16:20,239 --> 00:16:23,307
Dean Dinkins, I'm gonna
make you fall in love with me,
459
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,542
- then I'm gon...
- Okay, you... Just go.
460
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:26,710
Time to say goodbye to your friends.
461
00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:32,015
"I'm sorry. I have to leave."
462
00:16:32,084 --> 00:16:33,483
Eh, scene's a wreck, anyway.
463
00:16:33,552 --> 00:16:35,886
There's no good way to shoot the party.
464
00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:36,887
Bye, kid.
465
00:16:36,956 --> 00:16:39,723
?
466
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:40,657
Jimmy: "Dad"...
467
00:16:40,726 --> 00:16:43,160
U-N... "unscrew my board."
468
00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:46,830
Together: Ray and Austin are chickens!
469
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:48,532
Ray and Austin are chickens!
470
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,800
Ray: Oh, I'm a chicken?
471
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:51,535
- [Children chanting "Chicken!"]
- So I provide 35%
472
00:16:51,603 --> 00:16:53,270
of the protein America consumes?
473
00:16:53,339 --> 00:16:54,905
Real good insult.
474
00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:56,840
Hey! All right. All right. All right.
475
00:16:56,909 --> 00:16:59,943
We've had our fun.
Help me find that snake.
476
00:17:00,012 --> 00:17:01,378
Let's go.
477
00:17:01,447 --> 00:17:03,380
My dad would've found it already.
478
00:17:03,449 --> 00:17:05,882
He kills snakes all the time.
479
00:17:05,951 --> 00:17:07,184
My dad invented Pok�mon.
480
00:17:07,252 --> 00:17:11,788
Oh, really? Your dad is Satoshi Tajiri?
481
00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:13,724
Yeah, that's what I thought.
482
00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:15,092
[Snake hissing]
483
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,160
?
484
00:17:17,229 --> 00:17:17,961
Ray?
485
00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:20,364
?
486
00:17:20,432 --> 00:17:21,498
Dear God!
487
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,467
What kind of snake highway's up there?!
488
00:17:23,535 --> 00:17:24,401
- [Thud]
- [Both scream]
489
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:26,036
[Hissing continues]
490
00:17:26,105 --> 00:17:28,472
Okay, you got this, Ray.
491
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,506
You g... You got this.
492
00:17:29,575 --> 00:17:31,041
All right.
493
00:17:31,110 --> 00:17:35,212
?
494
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,647
Yes!
495
00:17:37,716 --> 00:17:39,683
Oh, no venom glands. It's harmless.
496
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,918
I'm gonna go show everyone I caught it.
497
00:17:41,987 --> 00:17:45,322
And I'm never gonna show my face again.
498
00:17:45,391 --> 00:17:48,792
?
499
00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:50,794
[Indistinct conversations]
500
00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:52,596
You ready?
501
00:17:52,664 --> 00:17:54,531
And action!
502
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,268
? She's a straight-talking,
street-walking, top-shelf ?
503
00:17:58,337 --> 00:18:00,370
? Leather-lining limousine ?
504
00:18:00,439 --> 00:18:02,239
[Crowd cheering]
505
00:18:02,307 --> 00:18:06,009
? She's a car-stopping,
ball-dropping firework ?
506
00:18:06,078 --> 00:18:09,446
? A single-handed party scene ?
507
00:18:09,515 --> 00:18:13,617
? Don't stop, don't drop for anyone ?
508
00:18:13,685 --> 00:18:17,721
? Won't shake, won't break,
she's having fun ?
509
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:21,024
Oh, your nose looks cold!
510
00:18:21,093 --> 00:18:22,559
And cut!
511
00:18:22,628 --> 00:18:23,560
We got it!
512
00:18:23,629 --> 00:18:24,628
[Cheers and applause]
513
00:18:24,696 --> 00:18:26,797
Awesome. [Laughs]
514
00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:29,099
Gosh! Look at that smile.
515
00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:31,401
Never seen you so happy.
516
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:33,670
"I've never been so happy."
517
00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:36,606
Hmm. And how much of that would
you say is breast-related?
518
00:18:36,675 --> 00:18:39,443
"Five"...P-E... "percent."
519
00:18:39,511 --> 00:18:41,211
"Per breast." Well...
520
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,879
That's a lot left for movies.
521
00:18:42,948 --> 00:18:44,381
Am I detecting a passion?
522
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:47,284
?
523
00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:50,454
"I'm"...S-O... "sorry I lied.
524
00:18:50,522 --> 00:18:51,755
But thank you."
525
00:18:51,824 --> 00:18:54,624
Oh, it's all right.
It's exciting, isn't it?
526
00:18:54,693 --> 00:18:58,128
Now, do I have to have seen
"Bikini University" 1 and 2
527
00:18:58,197 --> 00:19:00,630
in order to understand your role
in "Bikini University 3"?
528
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,233
Come on out, snake.
529
00:19:03,302 --> 00:19:05,202
[Indistinct conversations]
530
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,236
[Gasps]
531
00:19:06,305 --> 00:19:07,204
No way!
532
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,138
[Children gasp]
533
00:19:08,207 --> 00:19:10,407
Austin found the snake!
534
00:19:10,476 --> 00:19:13,844
Yeah, it tried eating us both,
but Austin wasn't scared.
535
00:19:13,912 --> 00:19:14,911
Right, Austin?
536
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:17,681
Yeah. I made this snake my "B."
537
00:19:17,749 --> 00:19:21,184
All: Whoa!
538
00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:22,953
Ray pooped his pants.
539
00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:23,954
[Laughter]
540
00:19:24,022 --> 00:19:26,423
Really, man? You had the win.
541
00:19:26,492 --> 00:19:29,292
[Scattered "goodbye" s]
542
00:19:29,361 --> 00:19:31,094
Justin Chang's older brother!
543
00:19:31,163 --> 00:19:32,162
Dustin: Heard what you did.
544
00:19:32,231 --> 00:19:33,230
Catching a snake
545
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,232
but letting Austin Chang take credit?
546
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,234
That's huge.
547
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,802
Come on, little bro.
548
00:19:38,871 --> 00:19:41,538
Dustin Chang rates you...
549
00:19:41,607 --> 00:19:42,839
one to watch.
550
00:19:42,908 --> 00:19:46,243
?
551
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,412
Dude, you had a pretty good day. [Laughs]
552
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,715
But not as good as Dustin Chang's.
553
00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:54,718
Dude is straight making out
with one of the moms.
554
00:19:54,786 --> 00:19:57,687
?
555
00:19:57,756 --> 00:19:59,956
[Sighs] It's all happening so fast.
556
00:20:00,025 --> 00:20:02,259
It was just yesterday
I was bringing my baby home.
557
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:05,595
Now my baby's going to college?
Babies can't go to college.
558
00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:07,297
It'll be such a big change for him.
559
00:20:07,366 --> 00:20:09,266
It's exciting.
560
00:20:10,702 --> 00:20:12,002
Look at him back there.
561
00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:14,304
Our little director.
562
00:20:14,373 --> 00:20:17,340
Dreaming of cameras and shots.
563
00:20:20,145 --> 00:20:22,812
Yeah, that's what
he's burying his face in...
564
00:20:22,881 --> 00:20:25,448
a giant pair of cameras.
565
00:20:26,574 --> 00:20:29,308
- Hey, Dylan, your friend's here.
- It's time to get that hideous thing
566
00:20:29,348 --> 00:20:30,580
out of this house, once and for all.
567
00:20:30,649 --> 00:20:33,377
Please? He only escaped
because he was hungry.
568
00:20:33,424 --> 00:20:35,057
Now I know snakes need food.
569
00:20:35,126 --> 00:20:36,725
- Say goodbye, Dylan.
- [Sternly] Now.
570
00:20:36,794 --> 00:20:38,194
[Sighs]
571
00:20:38,262 --> 00:20:41,897
You were a good snake.
But it's for the best.
572
00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:44,948
Most of the fun was you
being a secret, anyway.
573
00:20:45,136 --> 00:20:46,682
Goodbye.
574
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:51,323
?
575
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,844
Hmm. Fair trade. Deal.
576
00:20:53,915 --> 00:20:55,351
See the one that just left?
577
00:20:55,414 --> 00:20:58,226
That's what happens to snakes
who doesn't stay secret.
578
00:20:58,276 --> 00:21:02,826
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39986
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
