All language subtitles for Speechless S3E9

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,945 --> 00:00:02,973 Ah, family meeting, is it? 2 00:00:02,976 --> 00:00:04,613 Something about a chore wheel? 3 00:00:04,615 --> 00:00:07,250 I assume Ray has provided some visual aids, 4 00:00:07,253 --> 00:00:09,343 so I prepared some comedy to undercut him. 5 00:00:10,449 --> 00:00:11,481 "Chore wheel? 6 00:00:11,484 --> 00:00:13,555 More like snore wheel." 7 00:00:14,925 --> 00:00:16,892 Wait. Why is no one piling on Ray? 8 00:00:16,894 --> 00:00:18,694 And what's Kenneth doing here? 9 00:00:18,696 --> 00:00:20,129 He's here to block the door. 10 00:00:20,131 --> 00:00:22,164 You said you valued my input. 11 00:00:22,166 --> 00:00:23,632 This isn't a family meeting. 12 00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,200 This is an intervention. 13 00:00:25,202 --> 00:00:29,271 Maya, you are not going to college with JJ. 14 00:00:29,273 --> 00:00:30,639 Wha... Wh... 15 00:00:35,913 --> 00:00:37,212 Bollocks! 16 00:00:37,214 --> 00:00:39,059 USC Film School called. 17 00:00:39,062 --> 00:00:40,349 What? They want their hairstyle back? 18 00:00:40,351 --> 00:00:42,885 This is no time for that joke construction. 19 00:00:42,887 --> 00:00:46,688 They called to set an interview with applicant JJ DiMeo, 20 00:00:46,690 --> 00:00:48,791 and then they called back to set an interview 21 00:00:48,793 --> 00:00:51,226 with applicant Maya DiMeo. 22 00:00:51,228 --> 00:00:52,928 I pressed them for details. 23 00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:55,798 They said your submission film was "weird." 24 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,804 It's called "avant garde." 25 00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:58,960 And, anyway, you don't know 26 00:00:58,963 --> 00:01:01,236 that JJ doesn't want me to follow him... 27 00:01:01,239 --> 00:01:04,272 You just don't want me challenging you as a filmmaker. 28 00:01:04,275 --> 00:01:06,008 Okay, fine! 29 00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:07,576 I'm gonna have a lot more time on my hands. 30 00:01:07,578 --> 00:01:09,545 I need to find something that will fulfill me 31 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,547 or something that has the flexibility 32 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,782 so I can be here for my family. 33 00:01:13,784 --> 00:01:16,051 You will find something. 34 00:01:17,421 --> 00:01:19,588 It just won't be following JJ to college. 35 00:01:20,591 --> 00:01:21,690 Okay, then. 36 00:01:21,692 --> 00:01:23,559 Good. 37 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,360 Now that that's been taken care of, 38 00:01:25,362 --> 00:01:28,464 I would like to discuss this chore wheel I've made. 39 00:01:32,736 --> 00:01:35,278 So, Dad, you're on dishes! 40 00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,743 You haven't been preparing for your next chapter? 41 00:01:41,745 --> 00:01:43,946 Think of what you do with JJ. You're a machine. 42 00:01:43,948 --> 00:01:47,616 So what you're saying is, I've been getting experience. 43 00:01:47,618 --> 00:01:51,171 Yes. Now find that thing that's worth doing all the way. 44 00:01:51,174 --> 00:01:52,306 So, what you're saying is 45 00:01:52,309 --> 00:01:54,576 combine my expertise with my passion. 46 00:01:54,579 --> 00:01:55,591 Problem solved. 47 00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:56,992 So what you're saying is... 48 00:01:56,994 --> 00:01:59,228 We're saying your turn is over! 49 00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:00,963 I'm sorry. What is this? 50 00:02:00,965 --> 00:02:02,698 Have I been dominating the conversation? 51 00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:04,199 - Kind of. - For how long? 52 00:02:04,201 --> 00:02:05,901 - About six months. - Oh. 53 00:02:05,903 --> 00:02:08,137 Does anyone else have anything to share 54 00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:10,372 in the, uh, last, uh, 20 seconds? 55 00:02:11,078 --> 00:02:12,307 Uh, I'll go. 56 00:02:12,309 --> 00:02:13,509 Um, first of all, 57 00:02:13,511 --> 00:02:16,078 thank you so much for welcoming me to the group. 58 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,846 My husband just left me. 59 00:02:19,049 --> 00:02:20,710 So I'll... see you next time. 60 00:02:20,713 --> 00:02:22,612 - Oh, my... - Why didn't you say something? 61 00:02:22,615 --> 00:02:24,353 Oh, well, I didn't want to interrupt your thing 62 00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:25,754 about JJ going to college. 63 00:02:25,756 --> 00:02:27,222 Yeah, a year from now. 64 00:02:27,224 --> 00:02:29,925 Oh, I have been selfish, haven't I? Yeah, um... 65 00:02:29,927 --> 00:02:32,060 It's time for me to give back, okay? 66 00:02:32,062 --> 00:02:34,997 I'm gonna be with you, Melanie, through this. 67 00:02:34,999 --> 00:02:36,698 Okay, thank you. You can all go. 68 00:02:37,902 --> 00:02:39,268 At least she had snacks this time. 69 00:02:39,270 --> 00:02:40,903 Yeah. Thanks, Nathalie. 70 00:02:43,874 --> 00:02:46,476 Well, I must say, you're holding it together very well. 71 00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:47,703 I saw my doctor about that. 72 00:02:47,706 --> 00:02:50,195 She said my body just needs time to generate more tears, so... 73 00:02:50,198 --> 00:02:52,568 Okay. 74 00:02:52,571 --> 00:02:54,183 Oh, God! 75 00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:55,184 John! 76 00:02:55,186 --> 00:02:56,367 Oh, good. There they are. 77 00:02:56,370 --> 00:02:58,119 Oh, John, I love you! 78 00:03:01,225 --> 00:03:03,525 Ah! Flat tire. 79 00:03:03,527 --> 00:03:05,661 That'll teach me to go over potholes just for fun. 80 00:03:07,865 --> 00:03:08,864 This is good. 81 00:03:08,866 --> 00:03:10,332 I remember when my old man 82 00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:11,718 taught me how to change a tire. 83 00:03:11,721 --> 00:03:14,436 Your grandpa used to call a lug wrench a "Jimmy wrench." 84 00:03:14,438 --> 00:03:15,938 I-It came from a place of love. 85 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:18,840 He also used to call dumbbells "Jimmy bells." 86 00:03:18,842 --> 00:03:20,542 Yeah, I think I might hate him. 87 00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:21,643 Eh. 88 00:03:21,645 --> 00:03:24,313 But he was so happy to teach me a skill 89 00:03:24,315 --> 00:03:26,582 that I would use for the rest of my life. 90 00:03:26,584 --> 00:03:28,917 Now it's my turn 91 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,153 to pass on to you a skill... 92 00:03:31,155 --> 00:03:33,989 that you clearly already have. 93 00:03:33,991 --> 00:03:35,524 How about you give me a water, Pop? 94 00:03:37,428 --> 00:03:39,428 Somehow, this is my dad's fault. 95 00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:41,730 Oh, I hate John and that girl he ran off with. 96 00:03:41,732 --> 00:03:42,731 I mean, she's a child. 97 00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:44,366 He's got wine older than her. 98 00:03:44,368 --> 00:03:47,002 Oh, God. He's got such good wine. 99 00:03:47,004 --> 00:03:49,204 - I love him. - Quite a roller coaster. 100 00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:51,573 You know, should we... Let's not focus on the pain. 101 00:03:51,575 --> 00:03:53,809 L-Let's talk about how to move forward. 102 00:03:53,811 --> 00:03:55,577 Oh, I know what I want to do. 103 00:04:00,284 --> 00:04:02,050 You know I'm gonna ask you again. 104 00:04:02,052 --> 00:04:04,052 Please no German. It scares the dog. 105 00:04:05,222 --> 00:04:06,588 Excuse me one second. 106 00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:08,924 Oh, thank God. So bleak in there. 107 00:04:08,926 --> 00:04:10,359 Am I failing as a father? 108 00:04:10,361 --> 00:04:11,372 What? No! 109 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:12,494 Well, which child? 110 00:04:12,496 --> 00:04:15,063 I keep missing these classic father/son milestones. 111 00:04:15,065 --> 00:04:16,231 It got me thinking... 112 00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:18,033 What if we spent so much time focusing on JJ 113 00:04:18,035 --> 00:04:19,334 that we left Ray behind? 114 00:04:19,336 --> 00:04:20,802 I mean, he's gonna be out the door pretty soon, too. 115 00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:22,871 I just hope my window hasn't closed. 116 00:04:22,873 --> 00:04:24,606 Oh, I'm sure the window's still open. 117 00:04:24,608 --> 00:04:26,508 DiMeo windows usually are. 118 00:04:26,510 --> 00:04:28,143 That's why we have bats in the summer. 119 00:04:28,145 --> 00:04:29,478 Hold on. 120 00:04:31,215 --> 00:04:32,314 Hola. 121 00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,982 Oh, hi, Joyce. I'll get JJ. 122 00:04:33,984 --> 00:04:35,343 I'll be right back. 123 00:04:35,346 --> 00:04:37,686 I'm on with John! I told him that I'll get new boobs! 124 00:04:37,688 --> 00:04:39,221 What do I say now? 125 00:04:39,223 --> 00:04:40,622 - Hi. - Hey, Joyce. 126 00:04:40,624 --> 00:04:42,090 Can I ask you a question about your dad? 127 00:04:42,092 --> 00:04:43,892 Did he come here?! What did he say?! 128 00:04:43,894 --> 00:04:45,160 He is a liar! 129 00:04:45,162 --> 00:04:46,561 You know what? We're good. 130 00:04:46,563 --> 00:04:47,663 - Oh. All right. - Yeah. 131 00:04:47,665 --> 00:04:49,164 Great. 132 00:04:51,101 --> 00:04:52,200 JJ, can... 133 00:04:52,203 --> 00:04:54,269 Is something going on between you two? 134 00:04:54,271 --> 00:04:55,570 Coach suspended me from track, 135 00:04:55,572 --> 00:04:57,406 so JJ's giving me a "staring-to." 136 00:04:57,408 --> 00:04:58,765 It's like a normal talking-to, 137 00:04:58,768 --> 00:05:00,208 except I have to guess what he's saying 138 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:02,044 so I can't zone out and play "Fortnite" in my head. 139 00:05:02,046 --> 00:05:04,210 "She yelled at all her teammates." 140 00:05:04,213 --> 00:05:06,450 Dylan! That is such poor sportsmanship. 141 00:05:06,453 --> 00:05:07,519 You can't d... 142 00:05:08,685 --> 00:05:10,054 Is she playing "Fortnite"? 143 00:05:10,057 --> 00:05:11,586 Darling, you're not ready for P.T., 144 00:05:11,588 --> 00:05:14,222 and it takes 10 minutes to get you out of those jeans. 145 00:05:14,224 --> 00:05:15,824 "The price of looking fly." 146 00:05:18,228 --> 00:05:19,461 Okay, here's what you do. 147 00:05:19,463 --> 00:05:22,097 Step one, build up an immunity to laxatives. 148 00:05:22,099 --> 00:05:23,332 Most men are suspicious. 149 00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:24,821 They're gonna make you eat the cake, too. 150 00:05:24,823 --> 00:05:26,068 Oh, no, no! Separate! 151 00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:27,369 You're a bad influence. 152 00:05:27,371 --> 00:05:28,837 Come on. 153 00:05:29,606 --> 00:05:31,039 You made us cupcakes once. 154 00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,407 I don't... think so. 155 00:05:32,409 --> 00:05:34,876 Now, Melanie, listen. You don't need to exact revenge. 156 00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:37,312 Everything you're feeling is valid, 157 00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:40,115 so my advice to you is just feel. 158 00:05:40,117 --> 00:05:41,216 Just feel? 159 00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:43,552 Actually, that helps. 160 00:05:43,554 --> 00:05:44,786 Oh, good! I helped! 161 00:05:44,788 --> 00:05:46,757 Was I ever really selfish? 162 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,591 Or did they just make me think that I was? 163 00:05:49,593 --> 00:05:50,959 Someone called you selfish, huh? 164 00:05:50,961 --> 00:05:51,993 Here's what you do. 165 00:05:51,995 --> 00:05:54,031 Build up an immunity to laxatives... 166 00:05:54,034 --> 00:05:56,497 ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord ♪ 167 00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,100 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 168 00:05:58,102 --> 00:05:59,301 Good. 169 00:05:59,303 --> 00:06:00,469 What is this? 170 00:06:00,471 --> 00:06:02,738 You said there was a dog playing basketball in here. 171 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,940 Hey! There's my new prospect. 172 00:06:04,942 --> 00:06:08,510 "Kenneth is going to teach you about teamwork." 173 00:06:08,512 --> 00:06:09,644 What?! 174 00:06:09,646 --> 00:06:10,779 "You're joining his team 175 00:06:10,781 --> 00:06:13,715 while you're suspended from track." 176 00:06:13,717 --> 00:06:15,016 This was a trap? 177 00:06:15,018 --> 00:06:17,919 How dare you lie to me about a real-life "Air Bud" situation! 178 00:06:17,921 --> 00:06:19,020 What's the matter? 179 00:06:19,022 --> 00:06:20,222 Afraid of a game 180 00:06:20,224 --> 00:06:22,324 that involves more than just running? 181 00:06:27,898 --> 00:06:29,765 Does that answer your question? 182 00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:31,199 You realize that didn't go in. 183 00:06:31,201 --> 00:06:33,335 Really? Then why didn't any of you mock me? 184 00:06:33,337 --> 00:06:35,293 Because you tried your best. 185 00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:36,638 This chick serious? 186 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,039 That's how we do things here. 187 00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:40,375 I'm coaching this team like I coach JJ. 188 00:06:40,377 --> 00:06:43,845 It's about trying and growing, not all about winning. 189 00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:45,447 Winning's everything. 190 00:06:45,449 --> 00:06:47,406 And with me here, you're gonna win. 191 00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:49,242 Dylan, we've got a tournament tomorrow. 192 00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:52,521 Yeah. Yeah, I can be good by then. 193 00:06:54,758 --> 00:06:56,625 Come here, son. I want to show you something. 194 00:06:56,627 --> 00:06:58,126 Are we flushing nails again? 195 00:06:58,128 --> 00:06:59,494 That can't be good for the environment. 196 00:06:59,496 --> 00:07:01,856 Nope. Your old man is gonna teach you how to put up a shelf. 197 00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:04,733 Sticking out there? 198 00:07:04,735 --> 00:07:06,648 Won't you hit your head on it all the time? 199 00:07:06,651 --> 00:07:08,335 Ray, when you install a shelf yourself, 200 00:07:08,338 --> 00:07:10,505 you always know where it is. 201 00:07:10,507 --> 00:07:13,442 Uh... Mm. You're going in at kind of an angle. 202 00:07:13,444 --> 00:07:15,310 Uh, here. Let me show you a trick. 203 00:07:17,247 --> 00:07:20,916 So, if you place a CD where you want to drill, 204 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,118 you can use the reflection of the drill 205 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,119 to ensure it's level. 206 00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:25,253 Let me see that. 207 00:07:27,591 --> 00:07:28,990 Hey. Nice job, champ. 208 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:30,659 Who taught you this? 209 00:07:30,661 --> 00:07:32,027 Well, when I was becoming a man, 210 00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,929 there were certain things I wanted to learn, 211 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,762 so I turned to the wisdom 212 00:07:35,765 --> 00:07:38,333 of instructional videos on YouTube. 213 00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:39,901 Remember, with great power tools 214 00:07:39,903 --> 00:07:41,670 comes great responsi-drill-ity. 215 00:07:41,672 --> 00:07:43,125 Oh, that's very funny. 216 00:07:43,128 --> 00:07:44,539 I'm your dad. 217 00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:46,374 I should be teaching you stuff like this. 218 00:07:46,376 --> 00:07:47,809 And I'm gonna. 219 00:07:47,811 --> 00:07:48,877 Can you throw a spiral? 220 00:07:48,879 --> 00:07:49,978 Thanks to YouTube, I can. 221 00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:51,379 - Can you bait a hook? - Live bait or fly? 222 00:07:51,381 --> 00:07:53,748 I don't know, man! Fishing! 223 00:07:55,986 --> 00:07:57,352 Hey, do I know how to do anything? 224 00:07:57,354 --> 00:07:58,753 If I don't teach Ray something soon, 225 00:07:58,755 --> 00:08:00,622 he's gonna change his last name to "Tube." 226 00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:01,723 Oh. 227 00:08:01,725 --> 00:08:03,091 Oh, it's Melanie calling. 228 00:08:03,093 --> 00:08:04,286 You're being silly, Jimmy. 229 00:08:04,289 --> 00:08:06,023 Maya Tube. 230 00:08:06,026 --> 00:08:07,626 Can you hear me, John? 231 00:08:07,628 --> 00:08:08,648 It's your wife. 232 00:08:08,651 --> 00:08:10,532 Your wife... Melanie! 233 00:08:10,534 --> 00:08:12,534 You called Maya. Where are you? 234 00:08:12,536 --> 00:08:14,035 I'm at a strip club, John. 235 00:08:14,037 --> 00:08:15,170 Are you jealous? 236 00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:16,304 Good! I hate you! 237 00:08:16,306 --> 00:08:17,706 Wait, why are you there? 238 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:19,841 And what am I in your phone as? 239 00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:20,976 I love you, John! 240 00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,344 Remember Sonoma? 241 00:08:22,346 --> 00:08:23,450 I'm coming to get you. 242 00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,414 Ah, but the good news is, 243 00:08:26,416 --> 00:08:28,281 you got into Emerson. 244 00:08:28,756 --> 00:08:32,003 All right, we've got our work cut out for us today, girls. 245 00:08:32,006 --> 00:08:34,421 Number 24 is the best in the league. 246 00:08:34,423 --> 00:08:35,472 I'm on 24. 247 00:08:35,475 --> 00:08:36,657 Dylan, she's 6 feet tall. 248 00:08:36,659 --> 00:08:38,625 Save the analytics, Poindexter. 249 00:08:38,627 --> 00:08:40,995 I've got a plan. Now, let me get out there. 250 00:08:40,997 --> 00:08:42,830 This cup is killing me. 251 00:08:42,832 --> 00:08:43,998 - Break! Do it! - Whoo-hoo! 252 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,899 Let's go, guys! 253 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,736 Please welcome to the stage Bruce! 254 00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:50,971 Yeah, Bruce! Whoo! 255 00:08:50,973 --> 00:08:52,573 Melanie! Hey. Hey! 256 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,694 What are you doing here? 257 00:08:53,697 --> 00:08:56,542 I left you in a good place, and this is a bad place. 258 00:08:56,545 --> 00:08:58,245 I don't care. We're having fun. 259 00:08:58,247 --> 00:08:59,246 Who's "we"? 260 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:00,670 Oh, hey, Mrs. D. 261 00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,349 God. What are you doing here?! 262 00:09:02,351 --> 00:09:03,550 She called me. 263 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,286 Okay, fine. I was already here. 264 00:09:06,288 --> 00:09:07,821 What are you, the stripper police? 265 00:09:08,824 --> 00:09:10,991 Hey, look whose ACL is better! 266 00:09:10,993 --> 00:09:13,260 Girls, you look great, 267 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:14,973 and, Dylan, I don't know what you're doing on D, 268 00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:16,196 but it... It is working. 269 00:09:16,198 --> 00:09:18,065 She's scaring them with trash talk. 270 00:09:18,067 --> 00:09:21,268 I don't think there's trash talk that good, Sasha. 271 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,669 No, the team narc is right. 272 00:09:22,671 --> 00:09:24,705 I got dirt on them and used it against them. 273 00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:26,173 You want some on the coach? 274 00:09:26,175 --> 00:09:28,709 She just put her mom in a cheap nursing home. 275 00:09:28,711 --> 00:09:30,611 All right, girls, uh... 276 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:31,845 get back out there, huh? 277 00:09:33,015 --> 00:09:34,615 You... bench. 278 00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:39,186 Dylan, let me tell you 279 00:09:39,188 --> 00:09:41,622 a little something about sportsmanship. 280 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:42,966 You can't just go out there 281 00:09:42,969 --> 00:09:44,403 and talk about... 282 00:09:44,405 --> 00:09:46,493 We won. You're welcome. 283 00:09:46,495 --> 00:09:48,629 Wait. Really? What?! 284 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:49,596 We won?! 285 00:09:49,598 --> 00:09:50,964 Oh, I can't believe it! 286 00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:52,633 This team hasn't won in years! 287 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,202 I gave up looking at scoreboards! 288 00:09:54,205 --> 00:09:55,536 We won! 289 00:09:55,538 --> 00:09:57,504 Yes! 290 00:09:57,506 --> 00:10:00,941 Ray, YouTube cannot have taken all of my father/son milestones. 291 00:10:00,943 --> 00:10:02,543 Put down the books. It's time to learn. 292 00:10:09,085 --> 00:10:10,250 Can I show you something? 293 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:18,074 Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM 294 00:10:26,969 --> 00:10:29,870 That's just the closest shave I've ever had. 295 00:10:29,872 --> 00:10:31,004 Damn it! 296 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,107 Ow! 297 00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,310 What kind of fool puts a shelf there?! 298 00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:38,946 I just want to hurt him. 299 00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:41,222 Oh, I'm a physical therapist. What do you have in mind? 300 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,851 Do you like a stabbing pain or a constant, dull ache? 301 00:10:43,853 --> 00:10:45,352 Oh, what about a weird tingle? 302 00:10:46,889 --> 00:10:47,855 The tingle thing. 303 00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:49,355 Would you stop encouraging her? 304 00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,692 I'm trying to defuse the situation. 305 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,560 And I got my own life to get back to. 306 00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:55,996 Oh, right... the whole "Maya's Next Chapter" thing. 307 00:10:55,998 --> 00:10:57,364 Look, I promised I'd take care of her, 308 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:59,466 but I got to figure my own life out, 309 00:10:59,468 --> 00:11:00,934 and that's not gonna happen here. 310 00:11:00,936 --> 00:11:03,253 Ladies, please welcome to the stage... 311 00:11:03,256 --> 00:11:05,139 Hot-Hot-Javier! 312 00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:07,074 Oh, I love him. Whoo! 313 00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:17,751 Oh... 314 00:11:17,753 --> 00:11:19,486 my... 315 00:11:19,488 --> 00:11:20,699 God. 316 00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:24,625 Whoo! 317 00:11:24,627 --> 00:11:26,326 So easily removable... 318 00:11:26,328 --> 00:11:28,128 and so stylish. 319 00:11:28,130 --> 00:11:31,031 Accessibility without compromise. 320 00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:32,299 I want to mess John up. 321 00:11:32,301 --> 00:11:34,568 Are physical therapists able to prescribe drugs? 322 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,436 Well, the laws are very unclear on that. 323 00:11:36,438 --> 00:11:39,072 I think I found my calling... 324 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:41,975 An adaptive clothing line. 325 00:11:42,978 --> 00:11:45,379 Hey, can you take me to the VIP room 326 00:11:45,381 --> 00:11:46,847 and bring more clothes? 327 00:11:46,849 --> 00:11:48,715 - More clothes? - JJ? 328 00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:50,984 I think I know what I want to do with my life. 329 00:11:50,986 --> 00:11:52,886 Meet Mommy at the strip club by the airport. 330 00:12:06,702 --> 00:12:08,202 They're not gonna know what hit 'em. 331 00:12:08,204 --> 00:12:10,003 Hey, you know what they say... 332 00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:11,872 Third stepdad's the charm. 333 00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:15,886 Whoo-hoo! 334 00:12:15,889 --> 00:12:17,188 Yeah! 335 00:12:17,191 --> 00:12:19,079 Yeah! 336 00:12:19,737 --> 00:12:21,588 Your boyfriend just went on Haunted Mansion 337 00:12:21,591 --> 00:12:23,111 with a girl from Virginia he just met. 338 00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:28,822 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 339 00:12:28,824 --> 00:12:30,958 Kinda weird your mom only dedicated her cookbook 340 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,292 to your brother. 341 00:12:39,568 --> 00:12:40,734 Whoo! 342 00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:43,203 Oh! Yeah! 343 00:12:45,207 --> 00:12:46,727 What do you think? 344 00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,876 "I think you should have said male strip club." 345 00:12:49,878 --> 00:12:51,945 Well, you agree to meet your mum at a strip club, 346 00:12:51,947 --> 00:12:53,046 you take your chances. 347 00:12:53,048 --> 00:12:54,448 These hidden magnets... 348 00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:55,415 They're amazing. 349 00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:56,583 Game changer. 350 00:12:56,585 --> 00:12:58,585 There is no limit to how fly you can look, darling. 351 00:12:58,587 --> 00:13:00,554 So, it's a business where you make clothing 352 00:13:00,556 --> 00:13:02,105 - for people with disabilities? - Yeah. 353 00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:03,633 Will you sell online? Open a store? 354 00:13:03,636 --> 00:13:05,225 And what makes it proprietary? 355 00:13:05,227 --> 00:13:06,526 What is this, "Shark Tank"? 356 00:13:08,764 --> 00:13:09,963 Melanie, I'll be right out. 357 00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:11,665 We left! I'm at my husband's place. 358 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,600 I snuck in, he came home, and I'm hiding in the bathroom with Joyce. 359 00:13:13,602 --> 00:13:14,835 You have to save me. 360 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,570 Are you taking a shower? 361 00:13:16,572 --> 00:13:18,605 My apartment only has a tub. 362 00:13:18,607 --> 00:13:19,610 Oh, wait! 363 00:13:19,613 --> 00:13:21,642 I don't have to lay down! Whoo! 364 00:13:21,644 --> 00:13:23,377 Okay, don't move. I'll be right there. 365 00:13:23,379 --> 00:13:24,344 Okay, we got to go. 366 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,013 Uh, real quick, before you do... 367 00:13:26,015 --> 00:13:27,824 Could you help me put on this full tuxedo? 368 00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:31,718 Okay, how? 369 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,121 Why didn't I think of grilling before? 370 00:13:34,123 --> 00:13:35,222 Thanks so much, Dad. 371 00:13:35,224 --> 00:13:36,890 I never would have learned this without you. 372 00:13:36,892 --> 00:13:37,891 Nope. 373 00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:38,859 Ah. See? 374 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,228 That's why you only flip it once. 375 00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:42,461 See those grill marks? 376 00:13:43,832 --> 00:13:46,233 A steak for my son. 377 00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:48,035 Mmm! Wow! 378 00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:49,169 Yeah! 379 00:13:49,171 --> 00:13:51,104 Who knew we had such awesome tools? 380 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:53,840 "Grill Master Ray"? 381 00:13:53,842 --> 00:13:55,050 That's weird. 382 00:13:55,053 --> 00:13:57,444 So, I'm guessing I got this all wrong? 383 00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,847 Always season at least 40 minutes before cooking, 384 00:14:00,849 --> 00:14:02,649 and on a grill, you flip every 30 seconds 385 00:14:02,651 --> 00:14:03,850 so you don't lose the juices. 386 00:14:03,852 --> 00:14:06,196 You already murdered the cow. Don't murder the flavor. 387 00:14:06,199 --> 00:14:08,188 Well, I guess that's it. 388 00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:09,690 You win, Internet. 389 00:14:09,692 --> 00:14:12,025 Sorry, Dad. I'm a very curious boy. 390 00:14:12,027 --> 00:14:14,261 That's fine... really. 391 00:14:14,263 --> 00:14:15,896 I'm sorry I tried to force 392 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,798 all these father/son moments. 393 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,999 I'm just glad you... 394 00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:20,716 You found a way to get what you need. 395 00:14:23,121 --> 00:14:24,353 Dad, wait. 396 00:14:24,356 --> 00:14:26,772 Why don't we look up a video on how to clean the grill? 397 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,097 "How to be a better dad"? 398 00:14:32,648 --> 00:14:36,616 Okay, girls, we want to force them to pass the ball to Audrey. 399 00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:39,853 Her dad was involved in a mysterious boating accident 400 00:14:39,855 --> 00:14:40,954 with a rich uncle. 401 00:14:40,956 --> 00:14:42,071 Dylan, get in there 402 00:14:42,074 --> 00:14:44,358 and tell her you know all about it 403 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,461 and get... that... ball! 404 00:14:47,463 --> 00:14:49,396 - Whoo! - Let's go, guys! 405 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:53,166 Okay, JJ, I don't know what you think you heard... 406 00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:54,701 "Make Audrey Cry" on "3"! 407 00:14:54,703 --> 00:14:56,203 1, 2, 3. 408 00:14:56,205 --> 00:14:58,305 Make Audrey cry! 409 00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:02,301 It got away from me. 410 00:15:02,934 --> 00:15:05,876 Hey, Dad. I was, uh, hoping after SAT prep 411 00:15:05,878 --> 00:15:08,112 maybe you could show me how to tie a McBjornson Knot. 412 00:15:08,114 --> 00:15:10,147 Ask your father. 413 00:15:10,149 --> 00:15:12,316 No. Teach me. 414 00:15:12,318 --> 00:15:14,051 Unless you don't know how. 415 00:15:14,053 --> 00:15:16,091 Wh... No. I know how. 416 00:15:16,094 --> 00:15:17,821 I'm... I'm a... 417 00:15:17,823 --> 00:15:19,723 huge knot guy. 418 00:15:19,725 --> 00:15:22,026 All right. I'll see you when you get back. 419 00:15:32,305 --> 00:15:33,504 Only one video? 420 00:15:33,506 --> 00:15:34,672 Popular knot. 421 00:15:34,674 --> 00:15:35,739 Not! 422 00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:39,410 - Ray? - Hi, Dad. Surprise! 423 00:15:39,412 --> 00:15:40,884 It's not an instructional video. 424 00:15:40,887 --> 00:15:43,347 It's... It's a video from me to my dad. 425 00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:45,582 A guy who cared enough to look up a video 426 00:15:45,584 --> 00:15:47,942 for this clearly made-up thing. 427 00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:49,845 McBjornson Knot? That's real. 428 00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,021 Not! 429 00:15:51,023 --> 00:15:52,189 My boy. 430 00:15:52,191 --> 00:15:54,224 I'm a lucky kid to call you my dad. 431 00:15:54,226 --> 00:15:56,694 I know that even if you don't. 432 00:15:56,696 --> 00:15:58,729 You've taught me what matters. 433 00:15:58,731 --> 00:16:01,765 I hope to be the type of man you are one day. 434 00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:04,234 You might have missed some of the little things. 435 00:16:04,236 --> 00:16:05,936 You get the big ones right. 436 00:16:05,938 --> 00:16:07,171 Always. 437 00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:14,244 Now, if you're watching this and you aren't Jimmy DiMeo 438 00:16:14,246 --> 00:16:16,647 and you happen to be a very hot girl... 439 00:16:16,649 --> 00:16:17,848 hi, there. 440 00:16:17,850 --> 00:16:20,384 I'm Ray. I do impressions. 441 00:16:20,386 --> 00:16:22,152 You're right... You took me to Kenneth 442 00:16:22,154 --> 00:16:24,121 to learn a lesson about sportsmanship, 443 00:16:24,123 --> 00:16:26,223 but instead of learning, 444 00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:28,058 I brought the whole team down with me. 445 00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,696 You got all that from a look? 446 00:16:32,732 --> 00:16:34,431 I should have known better. 447 00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:35,466 She's a child. 448 00:16:35,468 --> 00:16:36,963 I should have raised her to my level 449 00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:39,636 instead of sinking to hers. 450 00:16:39,638 --> 00:16:41,605 Wait. If you can do all this, 451 00:16:41,607 --> 00:16:43,708 then why are we bothering with the damn board? 452 00:16:45,177 --> 00:16:47,144 I did let myself down. 453 00:16:47,146 --> 00:16:48,679 I let down the whole town. 454 00:16:49,682 --> 00:16:51,166 Team! Team. 455 00:16:51,169 --> 00:16:53,117 So specific. 456 00:16:53,119 --> 00:16:55,919 Yeah, we should go out there and play the right way. 457 00:16:55,921 --> 00:16:57,450 But I still want to win. 458 00:16:57,990 --> 00:16:59,590 Yes. He's right. 459 00:16:59,592 --> 00:17:01,892 If we change the definition of "winning" 460 00:17:01,894 --> 00:17:05,062 to mean "working as a team," it will still be winning. 461 00:17:05,064 --> 00:17:06,730 Okay. Let's do it. 462 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,767 Wha... Lose the suit? 463 00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:11,402 I look great. 464 00:17:12,471 --> 00:17:14,438 You're right. I do look like Grimace. 465 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,174 Okay, when the coast is clear, make a run for it out the back. 466 00:17:17,176 --> 00:17:19,476 Okay. Ready. 467 00:17:19,478 --> 00:17:21,678 Hello, darling. I'm here for our affair... 468 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,946 Oh, I see you're busy. 469 00:17:22,948 --> 00:17:24,815 - Who are you? - I'm John's lover, 470 00:17:24,817 --> 00:17:26,517 May... May... Mayo. 471 00:17:26,519 --> 00:17:27,718 Like... mayonnaise? 472 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,073 Oh, like I've never heard that before. 473 00:17:29,075 --> 00:17:31,088 I-I have never met this woman. 474 00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:32,856 Do you believe him, or does he have a reputation 475 00:17:32,858 --> 00:17:34,057 - for stretching the truth? - Okay, go. 476 00:17:34,059 --> 00:17:36,673 Todra, I swear, I-I've never cheated in my life. 477 00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:37,775 Yes, you have! 478 00:17:37,778 --> 00:17:39,663 - I'm sleeping with him, too. - Uh... Mm. 479 00:17:39,665 --> 00:17:41,465 What is your ex-wife doing here 480 00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:43,767 with the woman that rear-ended me? 481 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:46,171 Oh, that's where I know you from! 482 00:17:47,773 --> 00:17:50,040 So, uh... 483 00:17:50,042 --> 00:17:51,520 saw your video. 484 00:17:51,523 --> 00:17:53,276 The "You're a good dad" one, right? 485 00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:54,812 Because I have a whole other series 486 00:17:54,814 --> 00:17:56,280 where I do celebrity impressions. 487 00:17:56,282 --> 00:17:57,347 I saw those, too. 488 00:17:57,349 --> 00:17:59,883 Your James Gandolfini gave me chills! 489 00:17:59,885 --> 00:18:02,586 Hey, it's Mafia time over here! 490 00:18:02,588 --> 00:18:03,420 Yeah. 491 00:18:03,422 --> 00:18:05,355 But, yeah, the "dad" one. 492 00:18:05,357 --> 00:18:06,590 Thank you, Ray. 493 00:18:07,393 --> 00:18:09,059 Dad, you just missed our turn. 494 00:18:09,061 --> 00:18:10,727 Mm. We're not going home. 495 00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:13,030 No, I figured out a father/son milestone 496 00:18:13,032 --> 00:18:16,133 that the Internet has not beaten me to. 497 00:18:16,135 --> 00:18:18,035 A '92 Merlot 498 00:18:18,037 --> 00:18:19,572 or an '03 Cabernet? 499 00:18:19,575 --> 00:18:20,674 Oh, Merlot me. 500 00:18:22,007 --> 00:18:25,042 Oh, your husband has very good taste in wine, doesn't he? 501 00:18:28,347 --> 00:18:29,780 I'm gonna be all alone. 502 00:18:29,782 --> 00:18:31,415 My son's about to go off to college, 503 00:18:31,417 --> 00:18:33,250 and my daughter's not far behind. 504 00:18:33,252 --> 00:18:34,818 Well, I'm in the same place. 505 00:18:34,820 --> 00:18:36,353 I mean, minus the cheating husband. 506 00:18:36,355 --> 00:18:38,288 Jimmy knows I'd kill him... slowly. 507 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:40,290 That's why I'm starting an adaptive clothing line. 508 00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,227 - I love that. - Thank you. 509 00:18:43,095 --> 00:18:45,896 Yeah, I don't know what's "proprietary" about it. 510 00:18:45,898 --> 00:18:47,380 Thanks, Hot-Hot-Javier. 511 00:18:47,383 --> 00:18:48,698 Well, I actually studied business. 512 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:49,733 Did you? Where? 513 00:18:49,735 --> 00:18:51,735 'Cause I'm getting into a lot of colleges. 514 00:18:51,737 --> 00:18:53,637 Okay, well, not to go all B-school on you, 515 00:18:53,639 --> 00:18:55,906 but ideas aren't really proprietary. 516 00:18:55,908 --> 00:18:57,107 I mean, there might be other companies 517 00:18:57,109 --> 00:18:58,876 for making adaptive clothing lines, but I bet 518 00:18:58,878 --> 00:19:01,879 very few of them are run by an actual special-needs mom. 519 00:19:01,881 --> 00:19:02,980 That sets your brand apart. 520 00:19:02,982 --> 00:19:05,958 I mean, what makes it proprietary is you. 521 00:19:07,051 --> 00:19:08,951 - Or us. - What? 522 00:19:08,954 --> 00:19:10,721 We both need something for our future, 523 00:19:10,723 --> 00:19:11,889 and I hatched the idea, 524 00:19:11,891 --> 00:19:13,457 but I know nothing about business. 525 00:19:13,459 --> 00:19:14,458 - You're serious? - Yeah. 526 00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:16,293 Special-needs moms help each other out. 527 00:19:16,295 --> 00:19:17,947 Why not make a buck while we're doing it? 528 00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:21,265 Okay. I'm in. 529 00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:22,266 Okay. Great. 530 00:19:22,268 --> 00:19:23,967 This calls for champagne. 531 00:19:23,969 --> 00:19:25,135 Yes. 532 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,873 You know what? I'm in, too. 533 00:19:31,877 --> 00:19:33,110 Wow! 534 00:19:35,681 --> 00:19:38,582 Just... Just deduct that from my share. 535 00:19:38,584 --> 00:19:40,551 Thank you. 536 00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:42,819 So, it turns out that in Wyoming, 537 00:19:42,821 --> 00:19:44,187 if you are accompanied by a parent, 538 00:19:44,189 --> 00:19:46,189 it is legal for you to have a beer. 539 00:19:46,191 --> 00:19:48,767 You're not the only one who can learn stuff from the Internet. 540 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,395 So you used travel vouchers from your work 541 00:19:51,397 --> 00:19:53,845 just to fly here and give me my first beer? 542 00:19:53,848 --> 00:19:56,033 And elk nachos. 543 00:19:56,035 --> 00:19:57,100 Yuck. 544 00:19:58,604 --> 00:20:00,737 I was so focused 545 00:20:00,739 --> 00:20:03,273 on the father/son moments I missed... 546 00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:07,110 here's to the ones to come, son. 547 00:20:14,553 --> 00:20:16,553 Ooh. Ooh, that's good stuff. 548 00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:19,500 Chocolate milk for my boy. 549 00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:20,598 I love you, Daddy. 550 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,303 I am wasted. 551 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,639 No, you're not. 552 00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:29,670 Hey! That's okay! 553 00:20:29,672 --> 00:20:31,372 That was the wrong basket anyway! 554 00:20:34,510 --> 00:20:36,110 Way to pop it, Sasha! 555 00:20:36,112 --> 00:20:37,611 Ow! 556 00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,880 We lost! 557 00:20:39,882 --> 00:20:42,049 Yeah! 558 00:20:44,654 --> 00:20:46,320 Yes! You did it! 559 00:20:49,225 --> 00:20:51,625 Do you... know what's going on? 560 00:20:51,627 --> 00:20:53,294 I was drinking with Ray in Wyoming. 561 00:20:53,296 --> 00:20:54,795 I was in a strip club by the airport 562 00:20:54,797 --> 00:20:55,896 with JJ. 563 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:08,500 Synced and corrected by VitoSilans 563 00:00:09,305 --> 00:00:15,549 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 39123

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.